//------------------------------// // It Used To Be So Perfect // Story: You Weren't In Love With Me // by Brumby_Run //------------------------------// It had been a rather typical day at the library for Twilight Sparkle. Spike was just finishing clearing up after Cheerilee's class has left. The cutie mark crusaders had failed in their attempt to summon a demon, mostly because Twilight had directed them to a two-hundred year old fake, rather than the three-thousand year old text they had asked for. Watching them had been equal parts cute, and terrifying. At least Ponyville was unlikely to fall victim to the cutie mark crusaders, "demon wranglers" any time soon. The unicorn was settling in for a relaxing afternoon, ready to greet her regulars. It was looking to be a completely unremarkable Tuesday. Twilight settled in behind her desk, and resumed studying the ledger before her. "Excuse me, but I understand that you are friendly with the Apple family?" The librarian gave the mare an appraising look. She looked only a few years older than Twilight herself. A tall earth pony, with a forest green coat, and dark brown mane and tail. Her cutie mark appeared to be a cluster of six ribbons. Twilight was sure she had never seen her before. "Yes, I am on very good terms with the Apple family. Do you need directions to Sweet Apple Acres? Applejack doesn't usually open the market stall on Tuesdays, but you should be able to find her somewhere on the farm." "I'm actually looking for Macintosh." There was a flicker of emotion across her face, something Twilight didn't quite recognise. "Oh, that's easy. Big Mac always stops by on Tuesdays. You're quite welcome to wait." "Macintosh, in a library? This I have to see." "Yes," Twilight took the implication that somepony didn't belong in her library very personally. "While he usually borrows books that relate to his younger sister's curriculum at school, he is fond of Equestrian history, advanced mathematics, and mystery novels." "Err... I suppose we can all change, or maybe grow up. The Macintosh I remember had no time for reading. I'll just wait over by the periodicals." Twilight watched the mare walk deeper into the library, and turned her attention back to work. The overdue book ledger wasn't going to update itself, and she wanted to get the reminder notices in the mail by this afternoon. She put the encounter out of her mind, and didn't think of it again, until Mac arrived. "Afternoon, miss Twilight," the farm pony drawled, already reaching back for the books in his saddlebag. "Hi Mac, and how often do I have to remind you not to be so formal? Anyway, there was a mare here earlier, asking after you..." "Hiya, Macintosh. Long time, no see, huh?" The mare spoke in a very sultry tone. The effect it had on the stallion was remarkable. He whipped his head around, still clutching the last of his books in his teeth. Recognition crossed his face, followed quickly by something else. Five seconds passed in silence, before he dropped the book he was holding and spoke. "Ah gotta go." And with that he turned and bolted from the library, at a hard gallop. "Mac, wait!" Twilight cried. "I'm sorry, I know he can be shy at times, but I've never seen him act so rude." "We have kind of a history. While I wasn't expecting that reaction, I suppose it could have been worse." The forest green mare looked on at the retreating dust cloud the red stallion had kicked up. "I'll go talk to him." Twilight was already charging her horn for a spell. "You don't have to do..." The mare found herself addressing empty air, as Twilight teleported away. "...that?" Twilight flashed in, near the gates to Sweet Apple Acres. She could see Big Mac racing forth, and she stepped into his path. With a deep breath, she prepared herself to give the farm pony a lecture on manners. "Mac..." Was as far as she got before the words died in her throat. "What's the matter, miss Twilight? You ain't never seen a stallion cry before?" He brushed past, and was through the gates before Twilight could react. She turned to follow him, but balked at the gate. She'd been welcomed on the farm countless times before, but this felt different. She couldn't bring herself to cross the gate, it felt like an invasion of privacy. He had run here, not because it was home, but because he was after sanctuary, and she was loathe to disturb that. She paced back and forth, desperate to help, but wary of overstepping her trust. “Hey there, sugarcube. What’s got your horn in a knot?” Applejack trotted up from west field, having spied her close friend. “There was a mare waiting at the library for Mac, but as soon as he saw her, he turned and ran.” “A mare? What does she look like?” Applejack turned to see Applebloom approaching, with a confused look on her face. “She’s a few years older than us, with a dark green coat, brown mane and tail, and what looks like six ribbons for a cutie mark.” “Applebloom!” Applejack shouted. “Run and tell Granny that Satin Ribbon is back in town.” The filly gasped, and turned back to the house without a word. Galloping as hard as her little legs could carry her. Twilight turned to ask who this mare was, but all she saw was the dust kicked up by Applejack, as she ran towards town. With a resigned sigh, the librarian set off in pursuit. Ponyville is a quiet town. On a normal day, the populace rarely feels the need to travel any faster than a trot. So when a pony moves at a full gallop, it attracts attention. Having witnessed Big Mac's earlier retreat, many ponies were still milling about to see Applejack racing for the library, with Twilight barely five paces behind. Rarity and Fluttershy had just finished up with their regular appointment at the spa. Their discussion of the benefits of a seaweed wrap over a mud bath was interrupted by their two friends rushing past. Without a moment's hesitation, they turned and ran after them, alarm on their faces. Rainbow Dash was just about to settle in for a nap. The weather report had scheduled patchy cloud cover for today, and the cyan pegasus had picked the largest cloud for her mid afternoon snooze. Before she could get comfortable however, the sound of hoofbeats reached her. Glancing over the edge of her cloud, she could see her friends running. Without a thought, she snapped her wings open, and dove after them. Pinkie Pie was watching the clock above the counter in Sugarcube Corner. Stock rotation was of vital importance to a baker. You had to make sure that you sold the oldest first, so that nothing had the chance to go stale. Of course, if anything was in the display case for too long, it had to be thrown out. As a staff member, Pinkie was permitted to eat any stock too old to sell, and there was four vanilla cupcakes just minutes away from being discarded. As she turned her head from the clock to the display case, all five of her friends ran past, headed for the library. With a sigh, she called out to the Cakes that she was going for her lunch break, and tried to catch up. It looked and sounded like a stampede was bearing down on the library. While her friends behind her slowed down to negotiate the doorway, Applejack lept over the threshold. Locking her legs beneath her, she slid into the main room of the library, leaving gouge marks in the floor from her shoes. She turned to face the interloper, and advanced slowly on her. “Why don’t you just crawl back to whatever rock you’ve been living under these past five years.” The fury in Applejack’s voice was evident to all. “Nice to see you too, Applejack. But I’ve come to speak to Macintosh.” “Ya’ forfeited any rights ya’ may have had for seeing my brother when you left him standing at the altar!” There was a gasp from everypony within earshot. “It wasn’t easy on me either. You didn’t know what I was going through at the time.” “What you were goin’ through?! It was up to Granny, Applebloom and me to put him back together! You weren’t there ta hear him crying himself to sleep at night. You weren’t frightened to check on him in the morning, or go to the bathroom, thinking about what the love struck fool might ‘ave done with his pappy’s razor. Ta be frank, I couldn’t give a flying pile of pegasus poop about what you were goin’ through. I aint goin’ let you hurt him again!” The tension between the two was palpable. Nopony in the room dared to breathe. “I had no idea,” the green mare spoke with a very small voice. “If ya’ hadda read one of his letters, instead of sending ‘em back unopened, ya’ might ‘ave picked up a clue or two. But what the hay did ya’ expect to happen when ya’ sent that note up to him. Couldn’t tell him yourself, ya’ had to give that note to one of the bridesmaids. You’re some piece of work, Satin Ribbon.” “Please, just tell Macintosh that I want to speak to him. I want to try to put things right between us. I only have until Friday. I’m leaving again then. I just want to talk to him before then.” “Oh, I’ll get the message to him. And I hope that if he’s fool enough to go, the first thing he does is spit in ya’ eye!” Applejack punctuated her statement by snorting. "Go on, get outta here!" Satin Ribbon turned, and walked shamefacedly out of the library. The group of friends turned as one to Applejack, the questions they were about to ask plastered all over their faces. The blond maned mare started speaking out of preemptive self defence. "It was before you came to town, Twilight, and we all moved in different circles back then. The family doesn't talk about it, 'cause it was such a tough time. Bringing it up just opens old wounds." "I had no idea that Macintosh had suffered such a heartbreak," Rarity spoke quietly, trying to draw more information about the circumstances. "It does explain some aspects of his personality, however." "Yeah, some days I just don't know if we managed to put the pieces of his heart back together right. I hope Satin being back don't shatter it all over again." "Maybe going to talk to her would be a good thing," Twilight said, ever the pragmatist. "It might be what he needs to move on." "And what if it ain't?" Applejack cried. "What if it puts him back in a blue funk? I just don't know if I can pull him out of that again. I hate to think about how close we came to losing him the last time." "Aw, come on. The guy is tough," Rainbow exclaimed. "He'll bounce back." "What the hay would you know? Have you ever had your heart broke like that? I was so scared, I took to hiding Pappy's razor from him. He stopped eatin' and couldn't sleep. It tore us all up." "But , um, we could all help now," Fluttershy said. The rest of the gang gave approving nods. "Dang' it. I know what ya' all are thinking!" Applejack shouted. "You," she advanced on Rarity. "Ya' working on a list of all the available mares in town. Going to try to set him up with somepony? It ain't goin' ta work if he's not ready!" She turned towards Pinkie, "Planning a party? Trying to figure out who are the most fun ponies to hang out with? Well, I'm telling ya' that 'Sorry you got dumped in the cruelest way possible' ain't much of a theme for a party." "And you," she stared down Twilight, "are running an inventory in your head of this library. Ya' trying to figure out where the best relationship guides and self help books are? Going to try and add them to his recommended reading list? Granny and me have already been through this place. We can't do any more for him, he's gotta figure things out for himself." "I know what you're thinking, Fluttershy." With a 'foomph' the pegasus felt her wings extend, and lock up. There were blushes all around the room, none brighter than her own. Applejack couldn't bring herself to make her anger filled accusation. "If he hasn't asked you out, then he's not ready yet. I don't know what to say, but give him more time," Applejack said with a soft and tender tone. "And you, Dash," she turned on the weather pony. "You..." she faltered. "Ah don't know what you're planning, but it's probably something real irritating." "Pfft. Lame," the pegasus countered. She flicked her gaze around the room, and noted an open window. "Girls, he's come so far," Applejack turned back to the rest of her friends. "He talks to ya' all. With full sentences even. There was a time when he wouldn't speak to anyone that wasn't kin. He's got his Tuesday routine, walk to this here library and borrow some books, pick up some snacks at Sugarcube Corner, then sit in the park reading. Not that long ago, he wouldn't set hoof outside the Acres. I'm just frightened that if ya' all start getting pushy, he'll backslide. I don't know if I've got what it takes to pull him back again." "Applejack," Twilight spoke, "we are all just concerned. I think of him as a friend, and hearing that he was jilted like that is a real shock. Of course we want to help." "It's just... Seeing that mare here again, it's just a reminder of how bad things were after she ran off." "Your family should not have been left to suffer like that alone." Rarity comforted. "And whatever may happen, you will not have to go through it alone this time. We're all here to help. We just want what's best, for both of you." The group of friends shuffled closer to the orange mare. As one, they moved forward for a hug, with Applejack at the centre. They gathered together to offer the simplest, and most immediate form of comfort they could, their mutual affection. "I just want you girls to promise me... Promise me..." Applejack faltered, a frown descended across her face. "Where's Rainbow?" "Wait, you counted us during a group hug?" Twilight asked. "Sugarcube, when you've had as many group hugs as we have, ya' tend to notice if somepony's missing." "Has that window been open this whole time?" Pinkie asked. "Dang' it!" Applejack cried as the penny dropped. "I'm gunna pluck her wings!" With that, she started galloping back to Sweet Apple Acres. “So, where does that leave us?” Rarity asked. “I suspect she was going to make us promise not to interfere.” “Pinkie Pie is the expert on promises. What do you think?” Twilight turned to the party pony. “Well," Pinkie stretched out the syllable, tapping a hoof to her chin in deep thought, "we might be able to guess what Applejack was going to ask us to promise, but she never got a chance to say so, before she ran off. Since she never actually told us what she wanted us to promise, we can't really be sure. She might have been about to ask us to help. We should try to keep a low profile, but I’d say we have a free reign to help in whatever way we see fit. And I know just where to start.” “Yes,” Twilight said. “Fluttershy should ask Mac out.” “Oh, my,” the pegasus spoke, “do you really think I should?” “Aww, I was going to suggest my party idea,” Pinkie complained. ----- Rainbow Dash touched down at Sweet Apple Acres. She trotted around to the back porch, to see Applebloom staring intently at the nearby barn. “Hey there, kiddo. Is your brother around?” “Why do you wanna see him, Dash?” the filly asked. “Applejack just told me about what happened to Mac, and I wanted to chat,” the pegasus said. “I don’t know.” the filly said in a serious tone. “What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t stop by to cheer the big guy up?” “He’s in the barn, working.” Applebloom finally admitted. “I guess you can talk to him. But I’ll be watching ya’.” “Thanks kiddo. I promise I’ll look out for him.” Rainbow said. She could see Granny Smith in the kitchen, giving her an encouraging nod. The barn was just a short trot away. inside, the red stallion was working on the blade of his plow. “Hey Mac," Rainbow started. “Sharpening the old plow, huh?” “Eeyup,” Macintosh responded. “So, Applejack was telling us how you got jilted at the altar. That must really suck.” “Eeyup,” he replied with a heavy voice. “Look, you know I’m no good with this mushy relationship stuff. But I just wanted to warn you that the gang knows, and they are probably going to come up with a whole bunch of ideas to ‘help.’ I just thought you should get a bit of advance warning.” “Thanks, Dash.” Macintosh started to pack up his tools. “And if anypony gets too pushy for you, just tell them to back off. That goes for your sister too. If they’re cramping you, just tell them to push off.” “Dash,” the red stallion drawled, “push off.” “See?” Rainbow grinned. “That wasn’t so hard.” The two ponies walked out of the barn, and the pegasus took to the air. She was just in time to see Applejack racing towards them. “Watch out Mac, bogey on your six.” Rainbow called out in the lingo of the pegasus elite fliers, before swooping away. "Catch you later A. J." “Get back here, ya’ pony shaped parrot!” Applejack shouted after the retreating pegasus. “I’ll clip your wings, ya’ rainbow crested parakeet!” “Leave her be,” Mac said. “But Mac...” Applejack tried to speak. “And ya’ can leave me be as well.” Macintosh brushed past, moving into the homestead and heading for the stairs. Before anypony could stop him, he had slammed the door of his bedroom behind him. "Now, you two just give him some space," Granny said. "We all knew that hussy might turn up again someday. Macintosh has just got to figure this out for himself. The best we can do now is just give him some time to think. Come here, and help me get supper ready." Applejack and Applebloom followed Granny into the kitchen, and the three of them started work on preparing the evening meal. Each of them occasionally cocked an ear towards the staircase, and bedrooms. Whatever Mac may have been doing in his room, he was being very quiet about it. As Applejack and Granny started to lay out the feast they had prepared, Applebloom trotted upstairs to call Macintosh to dinner. "Mac? Supper's ready. Granny says you gotta come eat with us," the filly paused at the door. "Mac? Did 'ya hear me?" "Let me wash up first," he called out. When he made his way to the dining table, no one drew any attention to his red and puffy eyes. Or commented on the fact that the water splashed on his face didn't quite hide the tear tracks on his cheeks. Granny took note of how much everypony at the table served them self, and was satisfied by how much her grandson was actually eating. It appeared as if he wasn't about to try and starve himself to death this time. It was a quite and tense meal, with none of the regular conversation they usually enjoyed. Applebloom was particularly withdrawn. She adored her big brother, and seeing him so emotionally troubled cut her to the core. She still had very vivid memories of how hurt he was after Satin ran out on him. When the plate in front of him held nothing more than crumbs, Macintosh announced, "I'm goin' for a walk." With that, he left the table, and headed for the front door. "It would be nice if you two took care of Mac's chores tonight," Granny said. "If you help Granny with the dishes," Applejack spoke, "I'll go take care of feeding the pigs." "Okay sis," Applebloom replied. Macintosh headed out into the orchard. With the full moon above, there was enough light to see his way around. When he felt that he was suitably far from the house to offer some privacy, he lay on the grass beneath the trees. He lay, breathing slowly and quietly, and reflected on his heartache. The first surprising thing was that it was only an 'ache' and not the 'all-consuming torment' that plagued him before. It wasn't even the 'stabbing agony' he had felt when each of his letters to Satin were returned unread. In the years he had spent trying his damnedest not to feel anything at all, he must have begun to heal. He still longed for her, but with the amount of time that had passed, he found that he wasn't obsessed by her anymore. There were even times that he imagined himself with other mares. Seeing her in the library had been a shock. It had overwhelmed him. It had been so long since he had even thought of her, that her unexpected arrival had struck him like a hammer blow. His Tuesday routine had been disastrously disrupted. His mind left completely jumbled. Just the sight of her had stired old passions he had been suppressing. His emotions had assulted him, and left him floored. The pain he felt at the way she had abandoned their relationship was foremost, of course. But it was mixed with anger, pure physical desire (she still managed to look very attractive, after all), and hope that they might be able to pick up from where they left off. What he least expected to feel, however, was distrust. The heart was a very fragile organ, and he couldn't bring himself to trust Satin Ribbon with holding his heart again. He turned his head, and looked back towards the homestead. The home he had known his whole life. Memories flooded back, of the way he had behaved during those dark days after Satin had left him. How he had spent weeks completely unable to do even the simplest of chores. How, for months he had been a burden on his family. Memories of the way he had scared both of his sisters, by letting his depression consume him. There was no way he could put them through that again. He stood, and started walking slowly back. Somepony had left a lamp burning in the stairwell, giving him enough light to make his way to his room. The house was too quiet, all the members of his family had their own unique way of snoring, and the bedroom walls were thin enough to hear when each of them were sleeping. No doubt they were all listening for him. He made his way to his room, and let his yoke fall noisily to the floor. He lay on his bed, the tears he had shed earlier having dried on his pillow. He took comfort in the fact that his family was so close by. Sleep came for him surprisingly easily, and quickly. ----- They had arranged to meet in the park. Applejack had made it clear that Satin was not welcome at the Acres, and Macintosh didn't feel comfortable going to her hotel room. The gazebo was a compromise they could both accept. It wasn't exactly private, but that wasn't a concern for Mac. "You're looking good, Macintosh," the forest green earth pony started. "What do ya' want Satin?" "You never were one for small talk, were you?" "The way you ran out on me cut pretty deep. Five years, and not a word from ya'. How am I supposed ta act?" He replied, gruffly. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't know how I expected this to play out, but I just had to come." "All I got from ya' was a note. In front of all our family and friends, standin' at the altar, and ya' sent up poor Cheerilee with that damned note." He quoted it, verbatim, from memory, "'I can't do this. I'm not sure if I really love you. Goodbye Macintosh.' Those three short sentences was all the explanation I got. I had no idea anything might be wrong until I saw that note. Why didn't ya' talk to me before? Why'd ya' leave it 'til then?" His voice shook with the pain and anger he felt. "I didn't know myself. I wasn't sure of anything!" She cried. "I was confused, and everything just seemed to spiral out of control as the wedding drew closer and closer. I didn't know what to do. Right up until I was about to walk down the isle, I thought it was just a case of 'cold hooves.'" "I don't buy it, Satin. I just don't..." Realisation struck the red stallion like a lightning bolt. "Our last time together, when we snuck away to the barn in that thunderstorm. It was a few nights before the wedding. That wasn't to 'Tide us over until the honeymoon' like ya' said. That was 'Goodbye,' wasn't it?" "No, Macintosh. No." While her voice, and the shake of her head tried to deny it, her body language revealed the truth. She unconsciously took a half pace backward. Macintosh let out a ragged breath. It was like seeing the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle click into place. It all felt so obvious to him now. Whatever he had with this mare was gone, and there was nothing left there for him now. It was over. While there was still a great deal of heartache, she no longer had any place in his life. "Satin," His voice was stronger, a rumbling bass. "Why are ya' here, now?" "I came to ask for your forgiveness, Macintosh. I came to say sorry." "Forgiveness is a mighty powerful emotion. It's not something ya' get automatically, just by asking for it. It's gotta be earned. Ya' haven't earned forgiveness yet. Come back and ask me again, when you've earned it." Macintosh turned and started walking back home. "Mac, I have cancer!" She yelled after him. That statement stopped him. He froze, mid pace. He couldn't keep walking now, but he wasn't able to bring himself to turn around either. The seconds stretched out. The silence around the gazebo was tense. "I'm headed to Canterlot for a new, experimental treatment. But I had to see you first. Whatever may happen, I couldn't leave things unfinished between us like this. I had to appolgize. I couldn't go on without your forgiveness. Please Macintosh. Come back so we can talk." His former sweetheart pleaded. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe. The weight of what she just said fell on him like a ton of bricks. With slow and deliberate steps, he turned back to look at her. His mind raced, and his heart was pounding in his chest, trying to keep up. "What am I supposed to say, Satin?" He asked, his voice cracking. "Ya' vanished from my life for five years. Ya' haven't told me one thing about what you were doing. Ya' haven't even asked about me at all. Ya' tell me you've got cancer, and ask for forgiveness?" He threw his head back, and shouted to the heavens, "What in sweet Celestia's name am I supposed to say to that!?!" "Please Macintosh, I want... I need... I just don't know any more," the green mare stuttered. "I'm sorry. I'm just sorry." "Go, Satin. Go to Canterlot. Get your treatment. Write me a letter or something. I can't do this. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Just go." "Macintosh, I really am sorry." She leaned in to give him a parting kiss on his cheek, and was shocked when he flinched from her touch. "I hope the treatment works out for you," he said in a soft voice. With nothing left to say, emotionally drained and haggard, Macintosh walked away for the final time. ----- It was another Tuesday in Ponyville. The weekend had come, and gone. It was an ordinary day, and it was shaping up to be a simple week of routine. Ponies were going about their business. A large farm pony, his saddlebags weighed down with books from the library, and confection from Sugarcube Corner, made his way through the park. He was looking for a shady spot to read, and enjoy his treats. A buttermilk coloured pegasus, having spent the week being coached, coaxed, and cajoled, chased after the red stallion. She was fresh from the spa, and from having four of her closest friends reassure her, and try to bolster her confidence. She was on a high, and was determined to ask her question, before she thought too much about it. "Macintosh!" Fluttershy called out, trying to attract his attention. "Macintosh... Um, hi." "Afternoon, miss Fluttershy," he drawled. "Um, I was wondering if you would like to go out. Sometime. On a... Date. Um... With me. Sometime. If you want to? Um... Please?" Her courage was fading fast, and with each faltering sentence, her voice was growing softer. "Miss Fluttershy, I'm still tryin' ta figure things out. I'm not quite ready to start dating again, just yet. But I'll be sure ta call on you when I am." "Oh, um... Okay. I just, you know, wanted to ask." She watched from behind her mane, as Big Mac turned to continue his search for the perfect reading spot. 'FOOMPH' "He didn't say 'No.' He is not ready yet," Fluttershy thought to herself. "In fact, he promised to call on me when he was ready. That's almost a 'Yes.' It's as close to a 'Yes' as you can get without actually saying 'Yes.' Oh, my, gosh, I asked Macintosh on a date, and he almost said 'Yes!'" "Eeep!" The timid pegasus cried out, when she spotted a shadow looming over her. She threw her head around, to see what was behind her, only to be confronted with her extended and locked wings. As she begun the process of relaxing her muscles, to park them by her flanks again, she let out a heavy sigh and muttered under her breath, "I hope he doesn't take too long. I really need to get mounted..." On a nearby hill, concealed under a bush, Applebloom watched on. It hadn't been hard to convince her friends to come to the park, but the earth pony filly had other motives for being there. She was still worried about her brother. While he seemed to be fine, she couldn't help but remember the months after Satin Ribbon had run off. She was still afraid, as only a filly can be. But as she watched her big brother move through the park, a small smile crossed her face. "What're you looking at 'Bloom?" Scootaloo asked as she squirmed up beside her under the bush. "Oh, is Big Mac talking with Flutter..." The little pegasus was distracted, as her elder suffered a normal, natural, if embarrassing, reaction. "Fluttershy has a wingboner!" "Fluttershy has a wingboner?" Sweetie Bell chimed in, as she shuffled under the bush as well. "Wait, what's a 'wingboner'?" As her two friends laughed, and argued, Applebloom's smile grew wider. Her brother was talking to ponies again. He was getting back to his old self, after only a week. "Maybe things are going to be okay," she thought to herself. "I think things are going to be okay!" "Wait a second," she cried as she caught up with the conversation. "Scootaloo, what is a 'wingboner'?"