“So, where to now?” I asked, wiping the sweat from my brow. It was a hot day out, the sun beating down on my back as Applejack and I walked out of the shade of the apple trees. Applebuck season had begun, and I was the only one of Applejack’s friends who was available to help. Rarity was working on a new dress order from Hoofington. Fluttershy was busy working with her animals. Pinkie Pie was watching over Sugarcube Corner while the Cakes were on a vacation for their anniversary. And Rainbow was flooded with paperwork from a recent unscheduled storm that the weather flyers had been unable to stop.
“Well, I think we’re done for today Twi. Thank ya for the help. Without’cha it’d be two Applebuck seasons now that would’a failed.” Applejack said, patting me on the back. Smiling, we looked over the trees, bare of any fruit, and began on our way back to the barn with the apples in tow.
The last couple weeks had been hard on me, trying to deal with not knowing anyone around me. Rainbow had been really helpful and kind, always there to support me, and I became fast friends with Fluttershy. Applejack was nice, if a little hard working and stubborn at times, and I enjoyed spending time with her. Without them, I don’t think I could’ve made it through my memory loss.
On Fluttershy’s suggestion, I had gone to Zecora and gotten a potion to lessen my headaches. I still got them every once in awhile, but they were not nearly as bad. We followed the path back and arrived at the barn where we met the source of many of my headaches, Pinkie Pie.
“Hiya Twily! Hiya Jackie! I’m off for my lunch break and thought I’d come see if you needed any more help, cause thats what friends are for! Well, that and baking sweets, having parties, playing games...” With an internal groan, I let her voice fade into the background as I lit my horn and levitated the apples into the barn where they were stored.
Applejack thanked me and I gave her a smile. Pinkie stopped talking and I glanced over towards her. She was looking off into the distance, not moving. I opened my mouth to ask her if she was okay when her body started to shake and spasm. I closed my mouth watching her Pinkie Sense at work.
“Gottagobye!” As soon as her body settled she sprinted off, vanishing in the blink of an eye. Crouching in the dust, I turned towards Applejack who was staring off in the direction Pinkie had ran.
“How often does she do that?” I asked when I could speak again.
“Oh, about once every few weeks. Ya get used to it after a while.” She finished with a grin. Shaking my head I said my goodbyes and headed back into town.
~~~
I sighed, looking over the paperwork in front of me. Of course the weather team couldn't even break up one unpredicted storm. Without me, they were hopeless. Signing on the bottom of one page, I flipped to the next and began reading. I hated my job. It was kindly given to me by the chiefs up in Cloudsdale when I quit flying, but I would have rather been out there risking my tail to break that storm up than here in this stuffy office.
I looked at the time, checking to see how long until my lunch break. Only two minutes. I straightened up the papers on my desk, organizing them so I would know where I left off when I got back. When I finished, it was time to go, and I quickly left.
Deciding that I was craving something a little sweet to combat my sour day, I headed on over to Sugarcube Corner. My job let out slightly before most of the others in Ponyville, so I knew I would beat the morning rush, but when I got there the store was closed with a small sign saying Out To Lunch! Pinkie always took early lunches so that she would be there when the big rushes arrived, but she was normally back by now. I turned to see if she was on her way, only to look right into her eyes.
“Gahhh!” I screamed, falling backwards. She giggled at my surprise and offered me a hoof up. Bringing myself to my hooves once again, I frowned at her. “Did you really have to do that Pinkie? It’s kinda creepy.”
She chuckled again. “Of course Dashie. Where’s the fun in life without a little surprise? My Pinkie Sense told me you’d be here so I decided to change your day a little.”
“Well, surprising is certainly not the way today was going, so mission accomplished.” She giggled at that and opened the door beckoning me in.
“So Dashie, what can I do ya for?” She said with a smile, walking back towards the display case. “Do ya want a muffin, a cupcake, a slice of cake, a slice of cheesecake, a--”
I cut her off, simply saying, “A cupcake please. No hot sauce.” She ducked behind the counter and produced a cupcake moments later.
“One cupcake, no hot sauce right here!” Giving her the bits, I dug into the cupcake enjoying the sugar filled goodness. I finished it quickly, sighing contentedly. “Hey Dashie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Pinkie asked me when I was done.
“Sure. No problem Pinkie.” I replied, concerned by her rather serious expression.
“What’s up?”
“I don’t think Twilight likes me.” That caught me off guard. I hadn’t been able to spend a whole lot of time with both the girls and Twilight lately with how busy work had been, but last time I’d seen anything, it was all good.
“Why do ya say that Pinks?”
“Well, I’ve been trying to spend some time with her lately, but she keeps avoiding me, and whenever I see her for a split second she has this expression on her face.” Pinkie stopped talking for a moment to make an exasperated face before continuing, “And I’m scared that she won’t want to be my friend Dashie.” At this point Pinkie was almost in tears. I put my hoof on her shoulder to comfort her.
“If you want, I’ll talk to her and ask her how she feels. Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out Pinkie. I’m sure that you two will be friends. I know it.”
“I don’t know Dashie, Twi’s changed. She’s not the same pony anymore.”
“I know Pinkie.” I mumble. “I know. She’s more like she was before she came to Ponyville, or at least that’s what Spike says. I’m trying my best to bring back the mare I love, but I’m not sure I can.” We cried together for a little while, and I promised Pinkie I’d ask Twilight about her that night. We said our goodbyes and I headed back to work.
~~~
It was late evening when I finally got off work and had chance to go see Twilight. I walked the familiar path from the weather office to the library, thinking about the last couple weeks. It had been hard keeping the ponies from telling Twilight everything about her life. We had to go around to everypony and explain why they had to be careful. We could better address their concerns that way and could truly make sure that everypony understood that it was absolutely imperative that no one mention her past around her. Pinkie's Pinkie sense had proved to be invaluable, catching several times when somepony had almost slipped and told Twilight.
I arrived at the library as the sun was sinking low in the sky. I knocked at the door and waited patiently for Twilight to answer. A few moments later, Twilight opened the door smiling ever so slightly when she saw me.
“Rainbow, it’s nice to see you. What brings you here tonight?”
Returning her smile, I answered, “I just came by to see you had some time to hang out and talk.”
“Absolutely, in fact would you like to join me for dinner? I was just getting ready to have some food when you arrived.”
“I’d love to.” She swung the door wide and beckoned me in. I could smell something delicious in the air, and my stomach grumbled. I frowned, since when could Twilight cook? We entered the kitchen and helped Twilight set the table. We chatted about nothing important for a while as dinner finished cooking. When the timer rang, Twilight opened the oven and carefully removed a delicious casserole. We barely talked while we ate, both too engrossed in our foods. Instead I took the time to watch Twi carefully. What I saw didn’t make me happy. Twilight had changed more than I’d realized. She was missing her inquisitive nature. Her eyes didn’t dart around the room in the same way, analyzing every last thing. She could actually be quiet while she ate, whereas she used to talk nonstop. I’d been lying to myself for weeks that she was really still the same pony I loved. But at that moment I realized that she wasn’t, and my heart broke.
After dinner, I helped Twilight clean up the dishes. Afterwards, we headed into the main room and sat down in some chairs. Finally, I broached the subject I’d been meaning to get to .
“Twilight, what do you think of Pinkie Pie?”
She was quiet for a minute, think through her answer. Finally she spoke. “I don’t know. She’s okay I guess.”
“Come on Twi, You can be completely honest with me. Pinkie may be my friend, but I’d still like to know.”
WIth a sigh, she complied. “Fine. If you want the truth, I can’t stand being around her. It’s hard to like somepony when I can barely stay around them. She has too much energy and her voice gives me a headache. I have no clue how I was ever her friend. Really, the only reason I really try to be her friend is because you said we used to be friends. She just drives me up the wall. Before you ask, I get along with Fluttershy and Applejack fine, but Rarity’s over dramaticness is annoying.”
I sighed, “That’s a shame, you used to be great friends with both of them but I understand if you can't get along with them. No one can get along with everypony.” At this Twilight frowned and seemed to get lost in thought. I changed the topic and we talked for a while on other subjects, but our hearts weren’t in it. Eventually I decided it was time for me to depart and I bid Twilight a good night. Before I stepped out the door, Twilight stopped me.
“I feel kinda bad about Pinkie and Rarity, what should I do?” I could tell that she was conflicted, but I didn’t have the answers she needed.
“Don’t feel too bad. You’ve changed quite a bit from who you were and that’s understandable. When things change, friendships can drift apart. It just happens.”
“If you say so...” She still looked unsure, but a little better than moments before, so I said goodnight once more and left her to her thoughts. I made my way back to Carousel Boutique where Rarity had kindly let me stay while I saved up the bits to buy a place of my own. I went up to the small guest room and prepared for bed. As I settled down I thought about the evening and everything I’d realized. I felt that I shouldn’t love her anymore. And yet, the love still burned strong inside me. I didn’t sleep that night.
~~~
With a sigh, I closed the door behind Dash. I felt bad, as if I hadn’t given Pinkie and Rarity enough of a chance. It was just hard to be around them without getting sick of who they were. I decided to pass on the reading I generally did before bed and began to walk up the stairs. I entered my room and walked over to my bed getting ready to get in. As I pulled the sheets up, I saw the picture lying on my bedside table and my stomach knotted up. I laid down and tried to relax and drift off to sleep, but to no avail. My guilt could only build. With a groan I decided to go for a walk and get some fresh air. Maybe it would clear my mind.
It was dark out when I left, a cool evening breeze ruffling my mane. The air was fresh and clean, carrying the sounds of animals all around. I gazed at the moon-dappled landscape as I walked, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. Everything was calm and peaceful, most ponies having retired to their beds for the evening and many of the nocturnal animals having awoken under Luna’s moon.
The stars above me shone brightly and the night was clear. The constellations twinkled, plain for all to see, and I took a moment to trace them with my eyes. With a frown I remembered when Pinkie had taken me out stargazing. She’d noticed that I hadn’t really left the library for a while and had wanted to do something she thought I’d enjoy, and I had. Watching the stars had been fantastic and I’d even made a hobby out of it, but I still preferred it alone. It felt like no matter what I did, I felt better when I was alone.
While I’d been thinking I had paid no attention to where I was walking, only truly realizing when I caught my hoof on something and tumbled onto the ground. With a small grumble of pain, I got to my hooves and dusted myself off, looking at my surroundings. Tall dark trees surrounded me, limiting my view but indicating my location well enough. I was in the Everfree Forest.
I didn’t recognize where I was, and when I fell I lost track of where I’d been headed. I tried to see past the canopy of leaves that blocked the stars so I could use them to find my way back, but it was too thick. I cursed under my breath, wishing that my accident hadn’t removed most of my magic. Maybe if I could use magic, I would’ve been learning spells for the last couple of weeks instead of trying to find anything to entertain myself or wasting time with ponies like Pinkie. I didn’t like my chances of waiting here until somepony found me, so I picked a direction and walked.
What I estimated to be an hour later, the trees began to thin out ever so slightly and I began to gain hope that I’d found my way out. A slight mist had formed and as I walked, a shape began to emerge from it. The ruins of a castle stood before me, just over a ravine and a rope bridge.
My curious side getting the better of me, I decided to go explore the ruins. It would be safer in there than out in the forest anyway. A chill passed over me as I stepped onto the rope bridge. It shook a little as I stepped onto it, but it stayed sturdy and held my weight over the gorge. Once safely on the other side, I spotted the nearest entrance to the ruins and went in.
Inside, the halls were deathly quiet, nothing having been here for a long time to disturb the muffling dust. Much of the castle was still structurally sound, though some parts had fallen into disrepair from lack of use. Statues of long forgotten ponies lined the walls, and I found many locked doors. Finally I came across one door that wasn’t locked.
Cautiously, I opened the large oak door and peered inside. There, a spiral staircase stood which I proceeded to ascend. A gasp escaped my lips as I came to the final step. Before me, a massive room stood with thirty foot ceilings and stunningly a large windows which looked out clearly over the Everfree Forest giving me a view of the night sky. My attention was captured most by the statue at the far end of the room.
Covered in moss, a large stone sphere sat with five beams protruding from it’s base, each holding a pedestal. I quickly crossed the room and came closer to the sphere to examine it. I made my way slowly around it, checking for traps. When I found none, I reached out my hoof and touched the large sphere.
Instantly, a jolt went through my body and I collapsed to the floor. A splitting headache broke all the focus that I had. All other thoughts beside the pain were driven from my minds as I convulsed on the floor.
For an instant, I thought I saw the sphere flash, but that thought was lost in the flood of images that overcame me. I saw myself, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash walking through the Everfree. I saw Applejack catch me and save me from a landslide. I saw Fluttershy save me from a manticore. I saw Pinkie Pie help me overcome my fear. I saw Rarity willing to sacrifice something important to her for me. And I saw Rainbow Dash’s unquestioning loyalty to me, turning away a flight team.
I saw myself staring down an alicorn alone. I saw the other five coming to my aid. I saw the six of us together defeat the alicorn, and I saw one last thing as the last bits of magic tore through my body.
I saw something change in me. I saw a moment where I realized that I could rely on others. I saw myself with five best friends. I saw something that I didn’t feel. I was missing that moment, I didn’t get to be as happy as the Twilight I saw, and I saw that I’d been miserable the last few weeks.
As the magic faded and my body calmed, a stream of tears flowed down my face and I lost consciousness.
~~~
With a groan, I picked up my sore body from the cold stone floor. I looked out the windows and was greeted by the moon looking down onto me. I remembered what I’d felt before I fell unconscious. I took a moment to think over the memories. Each was powerful and moving, the things they had done for me, and how I had treated them in return. The thing that haunted me most though was the look in my eyes. I was so happy. I had never felt that, not once in the weeks that I could remember. Something vitally important to me was missing, and I needed it.
I set off quickly, leaving the castle and moving back through the woods. I had checked the stars so I was sure of my path and confident in my steps. My mind was quiet as I walked, the images and memories playing through my mind, torturing me with what was missing. I sighed and decided on my course.
The edge of the woods approached rapidly and soon I was again under the light of the moon and stars. I made my way through Ponyville and back to the library, only long enough to write a note for my friends and to gather up some bits. I moved through the town in a daze, still pondering my memories and what had happened, finally I arrived at the train station. There was only one booth open as was to be expected. I quietly bought a ticket for the next train leaving for Canterlot.
I fell asleep on the bench waiting for my train to arrive, only awoken by the blowing of its horn. I stepped onto the train, giving the conductor my ticket and found a seat by a window where I sat. I watched the sun rise over Equestria and smiled at the lovely sight. I thought about how the ponies in Ponyville would be just rising, preparing to go about their business. I wondered how long it would be before they noticed my absence. Soon enough I fell back asleep.
I woke before we were in Canterlot, soon enough to watch us approach the city on its mountain and admire its glory. The train wound its way up the mountain and arrived at the station where its passengers departed.
I spotted a guard outside the station and asked him for directions to the palace. He smiled and told me and I went on my way, studying the city as I went. Everywhere were small markets and shops dedicated to everything you could imagine. I saw statues and fountains surrounded by foals laughing and playing. I saw a group of friends laughing together and frowned when I felt nothing. After a half hour’s walk with the sun now well overhead, I was at the castle gates.
I asked the guards at the gate if It was possible to see the princess. They shared a glance and a whisper looking carefully at me, but nodded .They escorted me to Princess Celestia’s chambers where they headed in and left me waiting outside. Only a few moments later, one of they reemerged and bid me to enter.
Celestia’s room was astounding, truly royal in every way. Gold decorated everything, the ceilings were incredibly tall, Many bookshelves filled with antiques and ancient tomes lined the walls. It was truly luxury. In the center of it all stood the princess herself, smiling kindly at me when I entered.
“Hello Twilight. This is a very pleasant surprise. What brings you to here on this lovely day?”
I gulped trying to work up the nerve to speak and struggling to form the right words. “W-well, you see... I...” I took a deep breath and finally spoke. “I want you to give me all of my memories back.”
Celestia’s carefree smile dropped and she frowned. “Twilight, I thought we had talked about the risks involved in that. It is nothing simple. Your mind will fight tooth and nail against those memories coming back. It would be near impossible for even me to do, and if I made the slightest mistake you could lose your mind or even your life.” She walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. “I know it’s hard, especially without memories, but please try before we resort to this.”
“You don’t understand princess.“ I told her of what happened in the Everfree, of how I had found the castle and the sphere, and of the memories I regained. “I saw something there in my eyes, something I haven’t felt in all the weeks since I woke. I saw true happiness. I saw myself at peace. For the last weeks I’ve been asking myself what I’ve been supposed to be doing. I’ve been following the motions, but I haven’t had any hint of what I saw in my eyes. How can I live knowing I lost something that could make me feel like that when I feel so horrible most of the time?”
She was silent for some time thinking everything over. Finally she sighed and said, “If it is what you truly wish, then I will try.” Her horn began to glow and an instant later, we were atop a mountain. The wind blew and the air was nearly silent, nopony in sight. I looked over the horizon and saw nothing but more mountains. Celestia walked towards me, gravity in every step.
“Twilight, are you sure about this?” I swallowed and nodded. “Very well.” She bent her head, our horns touched, and the magic began.
The End