"Your civilization is... odd..." Twilight commented after I spent a few minutes describing human society and answering some of her inquiries. "Peaceful yet so chaotic..."
"Tell me about it..." I nodded slowly in agreement. The more I talked about humanity the more I felt that the condition I found myself in - being alive, that is - was more than just sheer luck; it was more of a blessing. I admit that I was distraught for losing everything I had, but a big part of my consciousness was telling me that this was a privilege, considering that I was freed from all the chaos from the world I used to know and that it was replaced by a society far more peaceful that what us humans were. I smiled and continued. "It was a stressful life but I was happy with it..." My smile faded away with that last sentence, reminding of how much I had lost: My career, the small group of friends that I managed to keep contact with... my family. I felt close to having another breakdown similar to the one I had with Rainbow Dash. Twilight noticed my change in mood since her own expression changed slightly. I took a deep breath and pushed the dark thoughts away, changing the subject. "It's all in the past now. It’s a chapter of my life that I need to close..."
"I was about to suggest that." she replied. "I guess Amy is also lucky to be here, isn't she?"
"Lucky?" I chortled, shaking my bad mood away, "I think we were given a blessing of some kind. I mean, having this opportunity to live free of all the stress we had before and have it all replaced with a society made of beautiful beings like yo-" I stopped myself. "Fuck, didn't mean to say that... and I didn't mean to say that, either!" I laughed nervously. Nice going, dude. You're so smooth you're like a bar of soap sliding on ice...
"I got your point." Twilight giggled, "Now I have to ask you this before the opportunity goes away: what does 'fuck' mean?" Oh great, where's Urban Dictionary when you need it... Wait, that's actually worse than trying to explain it myself.
"Uh..." I cleared my throat, "It's kind of a word that depending on the context it's used on, it can be bad, really bad or just really inappropriate."
"And in this context it was..." she trailed off, waiting for my answer.
"I don't know, it just slipped." I said, shrugging. "And you said it sounded like 'buck'. But isn't 'buck' another word for kicking?"
"Yeah, among other things as well." Twilight replied, uneasily. Oh wow, and here I thought these ponies had a clean mind about things
"Huh... I guess you just told yourself the answer, then." I said, "This gives the phrase 'bucking with Applejack' a whole new meaning now." I laughed a like a school girl, but quickly stopped and cleared my throat when I looked back at Twilight and saw her frown at me. "...Sorry."
"Which reminds me - you should be heading out to Sweet Apple Acres any moment now." She said.
"Yup." I nodded, "I will also ask her about Amy and whatnot." Twilight simply nodded and took a sip of her drink, only to spit it out dramatically when a loud bang came from the door, making both of us jump in our seats. We got off from our seats and rushed to the wooden door that had acquired considerably large crack right down the middle. When Twilight opened the door to see who had done it, she stood face to face with a grey blonde pegasus with a mail bag around her neck.
"Hiya, Twilight!" Cheered the cross-eyed mare, "I got mail for..." she pulled out an envelope from the bag with her mouth and held it on her hoof to read it, "...for Johnathan." She frowned, "Weird, I don't think there's anypony in here named Johnathan..." She looked back up to Twilight and saw me approach the door. "Oh hi there Johnny! Nice hair!" She waved at me, dropping the letter in the process. Not really bright, is she?
"Hi, Ditzy!" I spoke up. "This Johnathan you're talking about would be me."
"But I thought your name was Johnny?" She tilted her head in confusion for a few seconds until clarity hit her and cheered again, "OH! Of course! It's a nickname! Here's your letter!" She picked up the letter and gave it to me. "Sorry about the door, Twilight!" She said worryingly.
"It's no big deal, I can get it fixed in no time." Twilight smiled at her.
"Okay... See you around!" She said before walking towards a nearby house.
"Interesting..." I said quietly as we walked into the middle of the reading room, "Not even a week in Ponyville and I am already getting mail..."
"And aren't you interested in knowing who it’s from?" Twilight asked curiously.
"Of course. But as you said, I should head out to Sweet Apple Acres soon. I can read this later." I said to her while looking at the white envelope that contained no further information except its destination - 'Johnathan Crown, Ponyville Library'. "Why isn't there any information on who this is from?" I frowned.
"You have a LOT of things to learn about how stuff works around here..." Twilight smiled, "Whoever sent the letter will be known when you open the letter. Keeps it confidential, in a way."
I shrugged in agreement. "Well... I'll just leave this in the bedroom and go to Sweet Apple Acres to begin my 'roommate' hunt."
I approached Sweet Apple Acres and landed next to the gates to the orchard. Applejack was nowhere to be found, so I assumed that I arrived early and waited by the gates. As I looked past the gates, I saw that the apple trees were all empty. I guess all the apples to be bucked are at the back... I chuckled after thinking about that new meaning of that not-so-innocent word I learned a few moments ago. Dammit Johnny, mature yourself!
I was almost considering taking a quick nap when I spotted Big Macintosh walking out of the barn where we last stored the apples the other day. He was pulling out a cart that was pretty much spilling out apples. Applejack walked behind him pulling another cart, but this time it was full of wooden barrels. She looked at the gates and spotted me. "Wrong side of the farm, JB!" She yelled out, chuckling a bit.
I got up and walked over to the barn. "So what's all this stuff for?" I asked.
"We're makin' some sweet, delicious hard cider today!" Applejack cheered. "Fortunately for you, no more applebuckin' 'til Spring!".
"Soo... no more hard work?" I asked jokingly, already knowing the answer for that question.
"I didn't say hard work was over." She laughed, "We're far from doing that today, sugercube."
"So how are we going to make hard cider?" I asked.
"Well, aren't you eager to gettin' to that cider?" Applejack said, "we'll get to that once we gather everything we need." She turned to Big Macintosh and continued, "Big Mac, you go on ahead, I'll get Johnny 'ere to pull our big ol' 'Squeezer'." Big Macintosh's eyes widened and looked at me. They had a small pitiful look to them and shook his head slowly as he walked away to the other side of the farm that had a larger clearing. “Come on in, JB.” Applejack called from inside the barn.
As I walked in, I spotted the regular equipment I saw the last time I was there. Applejack was at the far side of the barn pulling a saddle hook thing whose name I didn’t know. I approached her and I saw a huge wheel connected to a small treadmill that went through a small box and some really weird machinery on a small platform with wheels, but that wasn’t what caught my attention - rather, it had something that looked like a giant concrete hamster wheel attached to it!
“I’m guessing this is the Squeezer?” I looked at Applejack.
“It sure as sugar is!” She cheered. “And you’re in charge of takin’ him outside!”
“Well... by the look on Big Mac’s face... this must weigh a ton.” I commented.
“Eeyup!” She said, and put the saddle-like thing on my back. It felt slightly awkward since I pretty much had to push the damned thing with my chest. I gave a small push, only to stay in place and see Applejack hold a chuckle.
“...Seriously?” I cocked an eyebrow. “Even on wheels this thing didn’t budge a single bit!?”
“Ah guess this was my fault.” She walked behind me and came back with a piece of wood balancing on a hoof. “Fergot to take this bit of wood so Squeezer ‘ere doesn’t roll out by himself. You should be able to move him now.”
“...Him?”
“Eeyup.”
“Nevermind...” I shook my head and tried to pull Squeezer again. Holy shit even without that piece of wood this thing is still barely moving!
Applejack walked next to me. “Need help there, JB?” She asked.
“I’m fine, just getting warmed up...” I replied, obviously lying. Applejack naturally noticed it - she cocked an eyebrow. Wait... no. Not doing that again!
“...Okay, fine, help me.”
Applejack walked to the back of the platform 'The Squeezer' was on and she pushed it slightly. That was enough momentum for me to be able to push 'Squeezer' on my own. Though I couldn't stop for a second or I'd be stuck in place again. Half a minute passed and I finally walked out of the barn with the giant machine behind me.
"Well..." I said, taking a small pause to catch my breath and wipe sweat off my forehead as I walked towards the other side of the farm. "Part one of the journey is done... Where do I take this guy?"
"I'll lead th’way. Just don't stop or you'll be stuck again." Applejack smiled and walked ahead of me, pulling her cart of barrels.
We reached a clearing on the opposite side of the farm, where we caught up with Big Mac who was standing next to an old light green mare with a curly white mane. Both stood by lots of carts filled with apples. Applejack led me next to the middle of the clearing with barrels and we finally stopped walking. Applejack picked up a few rocks and placed them on the wheels of our respective ‘loads’. I walked away from 'The Squeezer' and sat down on my haunches, breathing heavily.
"Never have me do this again..." I panted. "I'm not fit for this type of work..."
"Sure thing, suger." Applejack smiled. "'Th’ hard part of the job is over. From now one it's pretty simple. I'll let ya pick what ya wanna do now."
"So what kind of stuff are we going to do now?" I asked while getting up. "It's not involving pushing anything, right?"
"Nope!" I heard a male voice with the same southern accent coming from behind me, which I guessed to be Big Mac.
"Okay, I least I know he talks..." I commented with Applejack.
"Well, he's shy. He just takes a little time to git used ta new folk." She said.
"Kind of like Fluttershy, I guess."
"Ya could say that."
"So what are my options for part two of the cider making?"
"Wow... ya really ARE lookin' to making this cider, aren't ya?" Applejack laughed. "Let's just hope ya don't drink it all like Rainbow and Pinkie. Okay, ya can choose 'ta help Granny Smith pick out the good apples from the bad ones and feed them to 'Squeezy', or you can work with Big Mac and help 'im power 'Squeezy' in the big wheel, OR ya can help me stack them cider barrels as we fill 'em. What do ya say?"
"Well... I'm not really keen on visual detail..." I muttered. "So I won't be really useful with Granny Smith." I turned around to face 'The Squeezer'. "I COULD help Big Mac power this guy, though..." I turned around to face Applejack again, but instead I found myself face-to-face with Granny Smith and her wrinkly face and droopy eyes. She was eyeing me up and down, as if inspecting me or something. It felt really creepy, to be honest.
"So who's this little fella ya got here, Applejack?" Granny Smith spoke in a shakily tone. "Is this stallion a pretender to the family?" WOW... Seriously???. Applejack sighed and lowered her hat over her face.
"Why, Granny? Why do you always have 'ta assume things like that when a stallion other than Big Mac walks in our farm?" Applejack said, pushing her hat back up, looking slightly embarrassed.
"I'm just here to help you guys make cider!" I said, nervously. "Honest pay for honest work, all that stuff!"
"Okay then youngling..." Granny Smith shrugged and walked back to the apples.
"I'll just forget that never happened..." I said quietly. Applejack nodded slowly. "As I was saying... I think I can work with Big Macintosh with powering 'Squeezy' here." I motioned my head towards the machine. "I could actually go for a bit of running right now; I forgot that equines have some pretty darn good stamina." I chuckled. I was feeling a bit better, even after pushing a machine that weighed nearly a quarter of a ton, by the looks of it.
"Well, we just need 'ta unload the rest of them apples and ye can join Big Mac. Ye can sit 'ere and catch yer breath for now." She joked, and walked to Big Mac and Granny Smith. I walked to the big wheel that I was going to spin with Big Mac to power the machine and examined it for a few moments.
"Why do I have a feeling there's going to be a hamster joke about this?" I said to myself.
"Good idea. I can do that." A raspy voice spoke right behind my ears. Godfuckingdammit Dash! I flared open my wings in surprise, and felt my right wing slap something. I turned around to face Rainbow Dash and saw her rubbing her face; she also had a white feather stuck in her mane.
"You kind of deserved it... I'm not apologizing for that." I smirked. "How long have you been here?"
"Just enough to hear you mention hamster jokes. So you're working for AJ, huh? Kinda weird for a DJ to work at a farm instead of, you know...working with music?"
"I'll get to that once I have enough money for buying my equipment." I said, "Besides, AJ gives me a nice workout around the farm." I looked at 'The Squeezer' and looked back to Rainbow Dash. "Even if it's pulling a quarter-ton machine... What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I always come here to watch the Apple Family make their cider." Rainbow replied, just before Applejack and Big Mac approached us.
"Well, howdy RD!" Applejack called out. "Feel free to help out, if ye want to!"
"Nah... I think Johnny's got it covered, isn't that right?" Rainbow Dash looked at me. "If that's actually your real nam- OH yeah! So how was it in Canterlot?" She asked curiously.
"Well... for starters, I'm now called Johnathan Crown, a full Equestrian citizen. As for Carbon Streak, well..." I shrugged. "I guess I should thank him for giving me a 'replay' in life..."
"Ah knew ye were telling the truth, suger." Applejack smiled. "I'm glad things turned out alright. Mind telling us how things went while we work?" She asked.
"Sure, I guess..." I shrugged.
"I'll just go get my folding chair and a drink. I'll be right back, my house is not too far from here." Rainbow Dash said and flew away. As she flew away I noticed she was heading towards a particular cloud that was hanging a lot lower than regular clouds. What, does she live in that cloud or something?
"She'll be back in about ten seconds." Applejack spoke up, bringing my attention back to her and Big Mac. "Ye can take your spot with Big Mac on the wheel, suger."
I climbed onto the wheel next to Big Macintosh, and just like Applejack said, Rainbow Dash was already coming back holding a drink and a folding chair on her legs. She placed the chair a few metres from us and laid down on it, taking a sip from her drink. "Show time." She crossed her forelegs behind her head and started watching us.
Applejack nodded and turned towards Granny Smith, who was sitting by the other end of the machine. "You ready, Granny Smith?"
"You kids take too long to get ready! I could've taken a nap this whole time!" She called out. Applejack chuckled and turned back to me and Big Mac. "Alright, you two. Let's make some cider!" Big Mac nodded to her and started moving the wheel. I quickly caught up and started running along with Big Mac.
"Aw shoot!" Rainbow Dash spoke up after a few seconds. "I forgot to stop by Fluttershy's and get some of her sunflower seeds! You never know when those two might get hungry..."
"Hardy har har..." I deadpanned, "Got any more from where those came from?"
"I don't want to waste them all in one go, chill out..." She replied, "I'll throw some of them as the moment arrives."
"Well... while Dash 'ere isn't makin' fun of you two. You can tell us how things went in Canterlot." Applejack said while loading a barrel into the machine.
“I’m pretty sure you are going to love this. Especially Rainbow Dash...” I said.
“Oh great... now the suspense is going to kill me...” Dash interrupted. “...My bad, go on...”
“...anyway... We talked to the princesses. And I explained to them a bit of my life and how I was a DJ and all that.” I continued. “I went down to the medical bay in the castle with Twilight and Princess Luna. We got this doctor to scan my body in some weird shower box-like equipment; It pretty much told us that I took over Carbon Streak’s corpse, reviving it in the process.”
“Soooo.... you’re a zombie?” Rainbow Dash asked, curiously.
“Hell no! I threw a fit in the lab when I thought the same thing!” I replied. “I’m ‘alive as ever,’ as the doctor told me.”
“So what happened to Carbon Streak’s identity? And all those posters?” Applejack asked, removing the barrel she had placed earlier and loading a new one.
"Princess Luna took care of that for me." I replied, "All I had to do next was go to the embassy and get my citizenship. Now... the part that Rainbow Dash will love will be coming very soon...” I smirked and looked at Rainbow Dash, whose eyes went wide open and ears perked up in excitement. “Anyways. So I spent the rest of the day walking around Canterlot with Twilight, because the train back to Ponyville was being fixed for the day. We visited her favourite places and all that, chatted; pretty much passed time, because we had nothing to do. Until the next morning, that is...” I trailed off. I should just skip the bed incident for now.... I looked back at Rainbow Dash and smirked.
“Can you just stop doing that and get to it already??” She complained. After Applejack and I laughed for a few seconds I continued my story.
“Alright, cool it! So the next morning I went to the Everfree Forest wi-”
“Whoa whoa whoa, hold it, sugercube!” Applejack interrupted. “The Everfree Forest??”
“AW COME ON! NOT YOU TOO!” Rainbow Dash cried out.
“Yes...The Everfree Forest, AJ.” I sighed. “But all was well because I went in there with the best guide you can have.” I smirked towards Rainbow Dash.
“...Who would be...?” Dash tilted her head curiously.
“None other than Daring Do, of course!” I replied. Unfortunately she didn’t react as I thought she would; she kept staring at me with a blank expression.
“...Yeah, stop yanking me around, dude. That’s not funny...” She groaned.
“I’m serious!” I protested, looking at Applejack. “AJ, you can sniff out liars, can’t you? Tell her I’m not lying!”
“Uh... sure, just one moment.” She replied, reloading another barrel. She walked up to my side of the wheel and - not surprisingly enough - took a sniff at the base of my neck while I was running. Why... AJ... why??
“Seriously, Applejack?” I groaned at her. “Do you literally ‘sniff’ out lies or something?”
“Only with you, sugercube. Cuz I just looove the embarrassed face ye make when I do that.” She laughed, and walked back to her barrels. “Oh yeah, JB’s not lyin’ ‘bout Daring Do, Rainbow.”
Rainbow Dash’s wings flared open and she got up from her chair so quickly I felt like she was going to charge at me for no apparent reason. Startled, I lost my pacing and tripped on my own legs. I brought Big Mac down along with me, and we both fell off the wheel and sprawled on the ground aching in pain - But not before spinning a few times around the wheel and sending me very close to spitting my breakfast back out into the world.
“Oww....” Both me and Big Mac said in unison. We shakily got up to our hooves and Applejack was already next to us by the time we were up.
“By Celestia! Are you two okay??” She asked worryingly.
“Eeyup.”
“I’m fine.” I said, and looked at Rainbow Dash, who had her eyes open in shock and was breathing heavily, her nostrils flaring with every huff. “What the heck was that, Rainbow??”
“YOU MET DARING DO!?” She rushed towards me and stared into my eyes, inches from my face. “You met THE Daring Do; the most amazing adventurer in all of Equestria??”
“Yeah! Now please calm down and let me finish my story!” I yelped, still startled by Rainbow Dash’s reaction. I had a feeling she’d be excited about it... but boy did I underestimate her... She backed away and went back to her chair to get her drink.
“Ok, now I want to know everything!” She said, slowly settling down after a few seconds. Big Mac and I got back up in the wheel and began running again.
“Ok, just promise me you won’t do that again.” I said.
“Sorry...” She muttered. “You got my word on it.”
“As I was saying. I went to the Everfree Forest with Daring Do the next morning. She had found a sign that looked very familiar to me, so I just had to check it out with her. We flew for hours over the forest until we reached the clearing where she had found the sign and the ruin it was in. It turned out to be a facility holding dozens of frozen people... humans.”
“Humans... wasn’t what that unicorn was babblin’ that other day ‘bout you?” Applejack asked.
“Yep. Dozens and dozens of frozen humans... dead humans - except one.”
“Only one?” Rainbow Dash spoke. “Why?”
“Well... after we unfroze the only human still alive in there, she told us that the lab was supposed to keep these people frozen so later in the future - supposedly a couple of years after my time - could be used as ways to find a cure for various diseases. In her case she and her family decided to freeze her so she’d have a chance to be cured of her tumour and live a full life.”
“Wow...” Applejack spoke, and went back to being silent. Rainbow Dash was more speechless than her, by the looks of it.
“And get this: She’s my manager/best friend’s sister!” I yelled to add drama to it. It worked perfectly, since both Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and even Big Mac let out a ‘whoa’.
“Okay, enough of the human; what about Daring Do?” Rainbow Dash continued. Wow, she’s not letting go of that, is she? “Is she just as awesome as in her books??” She asked enthusiastically.
“Yes, just like in the books, Rainbow.” I replied. “She knows how to take care of herself and others.”
“Sweet!” She cheered. “What about Twilight? How did she react?”
“Why would you care about Twilight in this?” I asked. “I thought you’d be more interested in Daring than anything else.”
“Because she introduced me to Daring Do’s books, silly!” She replied.
“Well she did kinda freeze in place whenever Daring got too close to us. It was pretty funny.” I chuckled. “One second she’s completely fine but as soon as Daring walks into view she turns into a statue.”
“Speakin’ of Twilight...” Applejack spoke up. “Did somethin’ happen while you two were in Canterlot?” She asked curiously.
“Not sure where you’re going with this...” I said, confused.
“Well, ah don’t want to look like a creep but...” she paused hesitantly and walked up next to me. “Ye kinda smell like you’ve been in her bedroom recently...” She whispered to me. Yeah. Not creepy at all, AJ...
“Uh... that might be true...” I said. I felt a sweatdrop forming at the top of my head, and it definitely wasn’t from running.
“‘Might be true’?” Applejack giggled. “Suger, ah’ know it’s true. I’ve been to her bedroom and I’d recognize that scent she puts in there anywhere.”
“You’re not possibly suggesting what I think you’re trying to suggest... are you?” I asked, hesitantly. These ponies jump to the most inappropriate conclusions, geez!
“Suggesting what?” Rainbow Dash spoke up - she had obviously caught up to the conversation to an extent.
“Well... did ya?” She smirked. Oh, Christ... she is...
“No.” I replied nervously and quickly. “Nothing happened. End of story.”
“That’s it?” Applejack laughed. “You ARE talkin’ to a pony who can tell when somepony’s lyin’, y’know...”
“Alright, fine...” I sighed. “She invited me over to some star-gazing and I ended up falling asleep in her room. That’s all.”
“You were in her room?” Rainbow Dash asked out of nowhere. “Why?”
“Are you even paying attention to what we’re talking about, Rainbow?” I asked.
“I’m kinda busy looking for a joke to throw at you. Don’t blame me for trying to concentrate...”
“You? Concentrating?” Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash. “Well that’s a first!” She laughed.
“Yeah, yeah... laugh it up...” Rainbow Dash mumbled. “So what’s this about Johnny sleeping in Twilight’s room? Did they... you know...”
“No, I did not!” I replied instantly. “I swear you two are just trying to tease me about this now!”
“Um...” Big Mac spoke up. “AJ? Th’ barrel’s flooding...”
“Aw shoot!” Applejack scowled and ran back to the barrels.
This is going to be a long morning...