VI.
I take a deep breath. My eyes are closed, and I can feel my wings stir. They begin to flare out by instinct as the skin beneath my coat rises up in goosebumps. I wince.
The suit’s off. The Ghost ripped it up bad anyhow, so I’ll need to grab a new one if I get a chance. If I’m alive. But I also figure that I might need to be prepared to be as hard to grab as possible. There are too many little things on the suits for the Ghost to get ahold of for my liking.
I worry about my wings. Just because they’re next to useless doesn’t mean they aren’t a part of me still, after all. I’m pretty sure the area where my left wing meets my body is bruised badly, but I haven’t really had the time to check how bad it is.
But somehow, I feel like it really doesn’t matter. Or, it won’t matter, to be more accurate.
I look down at the last route out of the habitation ring. The exit that’s usually hidden under my bed is exposed to the open air and my eyes are glued to it. It’s just... sitting there, waiting for me. It’s just a hatch, I know, but it feels like something more in this moment. It’s like this is some kind of threshold, and once I go over it I never come back. Maybe I don’t come back. Maybe I just shoot down that long passage and come out on the other side and just... I don’t know. The Ghost finds me, I guess. Before I can do whatever it is that Star Mother can’t tell me.
Because she still can’t tell me the last parts. It’s a very important part of her test, apparently, that it all be secret.
Second Luna. Second chance. It sounds kind of crazy to me. But... I guess I get it, a little. I can see Rainbow Dash falling into the exhaust port in my mind, and I know I can understand wishing you could go back and change something. Or make it better.
But my Ghost, the physical manifestation of Rainbow Dash with red eyes and everything, is an accident. Or, really, it just wasn’t designed to be part of the whole test or whatever. Star Mother didn’t explain well, mostly because I was trying to focus on scrambling out of my old suit and moving things around in my room.
The Ghost has cheated, of course. The part of him that is in the computers has been working against the locks on the doors that Star Mother reinforced while we talked. As soon as time is up, they’ll open, and he’ll be over the dresser and on me in a heartbeat.
Or at least, he would be if I hadn’t carefully torn the mattress off of it’s lightweight frame and pushed it up against the door. Keeping it from falling was frustrating, but it should prove distracting enough. Hopefully.
The course is clear, literally right in front of me.
“Star Mother?”
“Yes, Scootaloo?”
“Will you stay with me?”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way, Scootaloo. Are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
I shake. We need to get this show on the roll.
“Star Mother,” I whisper, “Why can’t I just...” I gesture with my head at the hatch, still closed.
“He is in the systems. He will be able to follow you with the sensors if you go now. Please, Scootaloo, I am trying.”
I sigh.
He’d also hedged his bets. I don’t really know why, but he’s determined to get to me as well, and he knows Star Mother won’t let him. Of course he’d use the pressure sensors around the hatch doors to track my leaving and get a fix on me. Though... something just seems off about that. Won’t he know anyway when I’m out in the open? There’s nowhere to hide in the Spine.
“But he’ll know where I am anyway, right?”
“Perhaps. Please, Scootaloo. Let me think, I implore you.”
Wait. Think?
Star Mother can think more in a second than I possibly can in days. In a single second, she can do calculations that would take me an hour or more with some time left over to write up a full evaluation of my psychological condition, play a hundred games of chess, and monitor everything visible by camera on the ship. And think up something frustratingly computer-like to say to me if I feel like being stupid later on.
Since when does she need time to think?
But I don’t say anything. She seems serious. Heck, she sounds tired and as weird as that is, I don’t wanna distract her. She’s all I have left. I may be a decent fighter, but that thing has teeth. Big teeth. Sharp teeth. Gods, I have to stop thinking about those teeth.
The Ghost. It’s still a mystery to me, where exactly he/she comes from. Star Mother admitted that while the first one has its origins in the nebula’s influence, the violent Dash is her own Shadow. The two became one somewhere along the way.
Of course, she was kind of vague about the Shadow. When I asked, all she would say was that it was “Part of her,” or that it was from “Inside of her.” Which, to be honest, doesn’t mean much. A virus, I asked, but she shot that idea down. No, it was intentional. More like... a time bomb.
Which I told her was a wonderfully encouraging description.
I was about to reflect on the fact that kind of made me a cosmic babysitter when the Ghost speaks.
“Time runs thin, Star Mother.”
“But it is not extinguished.”
He tsks.
Gods, if she doesn’t hurry this up... I stamp my hooves on the floor and steal a glance at Rumble. I hid all the pictures in the footlocker off to the side, knowing that the Ghost will tear this place a part when he busts through the mattress. It’s sentimental of me, and I wouldn’t want anypony to know... but the thought of him crushing my pictures just bothers me. Even the one I keep face down. Actually, especially the one I keep face down.
“Time is ticking, Star Mother. Answer?”
“Scootaloo?” I breathe in deeply and answer.
“Yeah?”
“I am glad we were friends.”
The hatch pops open, and I let out my breathe in a gasp, diving for it. In front of me, I hear the door slide up and the Ghost roaring.
“Scootaloo!”
I am poised over the hatch, looking down into the long tunnel that connects the ring with the main body. It’s only a few seconds, only a few seconds... only a few... Gods, this was such a stupid plan!
And then the mattress moves in the corner of my vision and I jump down into the opening.
I speed through it like a bullet through a rifle, propelled by my momentum. The brightness of the Spine rushes up at me, and in a moment I am free.
But I’m still going way too fast.
As I unfurl my wings and try to catch the strange airs of the Spine, I cry out a curse for Star Mother. I tumble through the weightless Spine, my speed not diminished at all.
I hit the other side headfirst and all around me is fuzzy white for a moment. I feel sick, as if somepony’s reached in and twisted my stomach upside down and tied it around my spine.
“Scootaloo!” Star Mother.
Crazed laughter, in response. The Ghost.
“You have the worst plans,” I try to say, but it comes out all flat and soft and wrong. I shake my head, and the fuzzy vision begins to clear. There, in front of me, is the Heart.
I push off, and begin flying towards it. My wings are tucked against my side, and the left one is aching again. Gods, I hope I didn’t catch it on something sticking out of the wall. I’ve left panels open before.
It’s so close, but I know he’s right behind me. I can’t risk turning around to watch and throwing off my path, but I want to so badly. I need to see him, need to know how far away he is or how close he is.
And I land. My hooves scramble all over the surface, looking for a manual release for one of the little doors inside. I can hear Star Mother’s voice, but it seems far away.
“Above you!”
Oh. Gods, of course it is. I swing a hoof up and hit the pressure pad. The circular door opens up like a vessel into a real heart, and I swing in.
It closes behind me in a metal swirl and I fall back into the mist of the Heart, panting.
The thicker, terrible mist is still here, and I cough. It’s not the stuff that knocked me out... at least, I think it’s not. Gods, I hope it’s not. Outside, I can hear the Ghost beating at the doors, looking for a way in.
But this is the Heart, the seat of Star Mother’s mind. He’ll never break in here, not in a million years. No matter how much of the ship he takes, he’ll never take the Heart. I’m sure of it.
And yet...
“Star Mother! Star Mother, I made it! What now? Hello?”
I hear her, but it’s so soft, like she’s whispering.
“Star Mother!”
This was her plan: make a run for the Heart, and she would close the door behind me. It had sounded crazy; I’d complained and tried to point out all the ways it could fail, but she had insisted. If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have thought she was beginning to panic when I seemed like I was considering just staying put. So I relented.
And now... here I am. Stuck. Of course, I’d been stuck before... but somehow this was worse. I cough again, and try to look around me. The Heart is full of awful, thick fog. It smells of blood and sweat, and I have no idea why. I hold a hoof to my mouth, but there’s no way to escape the foul smell and the mist. It’s everywhere, in everything. My coat is matted already, and I feel like it’s sinking in to stay.
“Star Mother! Star Mother, what do I do? I don’t know what to do in here!”
“Mother!” The Ghost is yelling outside, pounding on the heart. “Have you done it? Have you done it?”
“Star Mother!”
“I am here!” Her voice is so weak, like someone who hasn’t spoken in ages. It cracks as she continues.
“Scootaloo! My... pod.”
Aw, screw it. I can’t find that in here like... oh. I see it as it lights up like my own pod does, along the hatch. They’ve never done that before.
I don’t have time to wonder about it. I do my best to swim over to it, avoiding another pod—Pinkie’s, I can tell from the pink glow coming out of the interface as I duck my head—and trying not to cough my lungs up.
I reach the pod and grab it as best I can, clinging to it like an idiot. Great, I’m a bug splattered on some stupid foal’s rhino ball now. “Star Mother? What the hell do I do with this thing?”
The lights outlining the hatch begin flashing in sequence.
That’s not normal. Mine never does that, not like this. I crawl across the surface, looking for the interface about halfway down the pod. The dark blue light underneath the buttons is going wild. When I reach it, I start typing in my access code on the buttons with my hoof, carefully using the edge... and then the screen comes to life before I can finish. I turn my head to get a better look at it, and see words.
OPEN.
The Ghost is banging on the Heart’s doors somewhere behind me.
“Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?”
I stare at the simple request, terrified.
What is in this pod? There’s not supposed to be anything except a few genetic samples, an empty chair, and some simple equipment like my own pod. The circuitry containing the growing AIs, I guess... what could be in there?
I look around, but there’s nothing to pry it open with. “C’mon, Star Mother, I can’t do this with just hooves!” I try to pull at it with my teeth, feeling stupid. Nothing happens, of course, except that now I have an awful taste in my mouth.
I go back to the interface. She didn’t say it was jammed. Damn, I’m stupid. I punch in the rest of my code.
The hatch beside me begins to open slowly, and more of that mist pours out. Perfect. Just beautiful! I cover my mouth with a hoof and try to fan it away. This can’t be good.
As it opens up all the way, I peer in.
“Oh... oh, Celestia. Oh Celestia, no.”
I was not prepared for this. Anything, anything but this. There was no way to prepare for this. Nothing she could have said.
“Oh gods, Star Mother. Why didn’t you tell me?”
A pony lays in the pod, covered in blood and what I can only assume is the left over material from its strange birth. It’s a mare, and I recognize her almost right away: Star Mother, as she was in my dream, her wings folded against her blue coat which is matted in sweat and condensation and filth. Her eyes are shut tight and her mouth curled into a grimace, showing her teeth as they grind together. She is dreaming: her legs twitch as if trying to run, her tail tries to swish back and forth, but it is trapped by the confines of pod. She’s curled up in a little ball, for all the world like a foal in the womb.
Her eyes open suddenly, and I jerk away, horrified.
“S-scootaloo? Hm...?”
The words are strange, almost as if she’s chewing on them, tasting them in her mouth. Her speech is slurred and rough.
“Gods... Star Mother? Is that you?”
“I can’t see.”
“I... at all? You can’t see at all?”
“I see... I don’t understand. I’m not sure. Scootaloo? Is that you?”
“Yeah... yeah, it’s me. I’m here. It’s alright.”
She whimpers.
Outside, the Ghost is going ballistic. “I claimed you! Star Mother, come out! This isn’t what happens! This isn’t how our chase ends! Where is my answer! Where is it? You have to give me an answer!”
She’s way too big to stay in the pod... but I don’t want to touch her. Maybe it’s how gross she is, but I doubt it. It’s just... it’s been so long. So long since I touched anypony at all... It scares me. She scares me.
The Ghost screaming outside scares me.
But I can’t just let her lie there, whimpering like a foal. Because, isn’t that what she is? She’s helpless, vulnerable. One look at those weak wings, and I know she can’t fly yet. They aren’t like mine, but it’ll take a lot of work to get them in strong enough condition to support her. Her legs are thin, if not horribly so. She needs me.
I nuzzle against her cheek, trying not to flinch as she blindly copies the gesture against my own cheek. I try to stay firm, so that she can feel that I’m there. She shifts in the pod seat and wraps her hooves around me feebly, and I shiver.
But I don’t leave. I let her feel me, and she smiles.
“Scootaloo?”
“I’m surprised you can talk already. Whatever. Yes, Star Mother?”
“That’s... not my name.”
I shrug. “Whatever you say. New names, new body. Why not? Let me get you out of there, alright?”
She nods, and I pull my body away from the opening. Her grip on me is weak, but it’s enough, and she comes free.
Star Mother floats in the mist and coughs.
“Were you gonna tell me about this?”
“I can tell it all now, I think...”
I hear something rip, and look sharply at the source of the sound. The Ghost? It has to be. He’s been freaking out for awhile now.
“Can he get in?”
“I... I left. I don’t know.”
Perfect. My question is answered as a panel on the far wall explodes and a door opens slowly. The Ghost’s eyes peer in from the opening, staring straight at me... and at Star Mother.
He’ll tear her apart.
“Star Mother! Star Mother, can you see?”
“It’s so confusing...”
“It doesn’t matter,” the Ghost says, and he is in the Heart. I let go of Star Mother and let her drift behind me.
He’s changed. He’s obviously male now, with Rainbow’s mane and Star Mother’s coloring. He has no cutie mark, and his eyes are the worst shade of red. He grins at me, showing off those awful teeth.
“The chase is done.”
Behind me, Star Mother echoes him. I want to look back, but I don’t. I keep my eyes glued to the Ghost’s red eyes.
“Yeah. Yeah it is,” I say, not caring that he’s obviously not talking to me. Screw him and his stupid chase. He’s right, though: Star Mother can’t run, and I can’t carry her along with me and evade him. It ends here.
It ends here with his face a bloody wreck, that’s how it ends!
“You wanted a chase? You got one! But I want a fight. I’ll open those damn red eyes of yours! You ain’t never tangled with the likes of me! Chase this!”
We’re tumbling in the mist. I try to fight him, beating at him with my hooves, but I can hardly move. Under my pummeling he is soft, too soft. His flesh is softer than a pony’s should be and it is so wrong.
Any moment now, and I’ll feel those teeth tearing into me. I can almost feel them now...
But it never comes. He’s shaking, sputtering. His eyes are wide and staring off into space. He’s trying to say something, but all that comes out of his mouth is a kind of strangled whine.
My head and heart are pounding. As his grip tightens and he gets louder, I start to scream at him.
“Get off! Get off me! Let me go, gods damn it, let me go!”
But he doesn’t. He’s shaking; his teeth are grinding together so hard that I’m amazed they don’t break. Veins bulge out on his neck and face, and they twist and contort as if something inside him is expanding.
It’s so cold. It’s like being hugged by the vacuum.
All I can see is his shoulder now, and I feel my back hit the wall of the Heart and some panel or interface dig into my coat. But it feels miles away. All of it feels far, far away. It’s so cold... Why is it cold? Everything feels strange. I can’t move.
It’s so dark. Where’s Star Mother? Where’s the Heart? Where is the Ghost?
I can’t feel my hooves or my wings.
But I can still see, a bit. Everything is bathed in the purple mist that I recognize from the dying Ghosts of Rainbow. Is that what happened? Did he dissolve?
Another thought occurs to me in the strange stillness: maybe he killed me. Maybe he came down so hard and fast on my neck with those teeth of his that he broke it and I died before I knew what hit me. Maybe I’m the Ghost now, wandering in the mists. Maybe I’ll see Rainbow Dash now, and it’ll be me who falls apart all over her.
The Ghost is completely gone, nowhere to be seen. It’s as if the ship never existed.
I sit alone.
I don’t know how long I walked in the mist numbly before I found her.
It was just a shape at first, in the distance. Like, a silhouette, one of those shadows you cast on a wall to make foals laugh.
And now I’m sitting in front of her as she sleeps.
Rainbow Dash. My Rainbow Dash, my hero. Rainbow Dash who should have been a Wonderbolt. Rainbow Dash, whose rose-colored eyes are beautiful and whose wings once were like a goddess’. Rainbow Dash whose body is perfect, whose voice was the delight of my foalhood, whose smile was the sun of my flightless days.
I’m not sure what to do with her.
Do I wake her up? Do I leave her? Will she wake up on her own, if I stay long enough?
For that matter, is she real? For all I know, this could yet another Ghost in disguise as Rainbow. But then, what if she is? What’s she going to do, die on me? Try to kill me? Already happened. I’m just... not afraid.
“Rainbow?”
She opens her eyes immediately, as if her sleep was nothing but a ruse. Perhaps it was.
“Are you a ghost?”
“Good question.”
“Scootaloo... can’t be here. She’s dead. They lost the ship out in deep space, cause of death unknown.”
I look into those eyes. “I wouldn’t know. Maybe I am. I think the Ghost killed me. Or I could be dreaming. This could be that garden stuff. Who knows?”
She sits up and looks me over. I begin to smile at her, invitingly, as if to say: “Yeah, come on, look me over. I won’t bite.”
Finally, she speaks.
“So... what now?”
That’s a good question. What now? An idea strikes me, as I consider my own probable death. Why not? Why not say it? I’ve been thinking about it since before I left. Maybe for longer than I care to admit. It’s definitely been on my mind since those videos.
“Rainbow... if I’m dead, or if I’m dreaming, do you think I should say stuff I’ve always wanted to say?”
“Like a last confession or something? I mean... I guess? I don’t know.”
“Rainbow, I think I’ve always loved you.”
She stares at me, and then replies slowly, “I love you too, squirt. What...?”
“When... when I was a kid, when I first started thinking about all that stuff. I think it was always you. I mean, I know you were like, older than me... it was just a crush. But I liked it. You were my hero.”
“Scoots...”
“I know it’s weird. It’s why I tried to never think about it as a crush. I thought about it like it was just... me admiring you. But I always loved you, Rainbow. I was jealous of Rarity. I think I still am, a little. I think she knows it, too. She always saw right through me, all those times I visited Ponyville and attached myself to you.”
I laugh. It’s not a bitter laugh.
“I guess... I guess I’m not very threatening. I’m like, way younger than you. She’s beautiful and I was never more than cute, y’know? I can’t fly, and I can’t do much of anything.”
Rainbow nuzzles me, and I tense up... but she stays solid. It feels nice, not cold at all.
“You know... I wondered once, when you were a kid. I mean, kids have crushes. But, I guess I shrugged it off. Could I have done anything?”
I shake my head. “No, probably not.”
“It’s alright. I thought you liked that Rumble colt, Scoots.”
I back away a bit, so that we meet eye to eye. “Yeah. I do. If I’m honest, maybe he just might have a little bit of that lopsided grin of yours.” I laugh, and she laughs too.
“Luna made it sound like... that in the garden you dreamed what you kind of wanted to? Or brought with you? I don’t really get it. But... I have somepony I want to see. I’m going to like... wish? I guess? I have no idea. But if I really am dead, and not just in this weird dream... thing, I’m glad I got to see you again, Rainbow.”
“I hope this is a dream too, Scootaloo.”
I close my eyes, turn around, and walk on.
When I open my eyes again, I’m in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres.
Specifically, I’m about a hundred yards away from our club house. I can’t help but grin at the sight of it, all fixed up and clean. I was so proud of this place when I was a kid. My mom used to worry, but I always felt whenever we were together, out here.
I trot towards my old haunt.
She comes out when I’m about halfway there, catching sight of me quickly and waving at me. I break into a run.
I cross the distance in what seems like an instant, and perhaps is. Dreams are strange, after all.
“Hey,” she says, her voice soft.
“Hey,” I say back, and I know that the smirk on my face is Rainbow’s, but that the way my heart is beating is my own.
“I guess this means you’re dreaming about me, huh?”
“I guess. This is your album cover, almost. I’m glad you picked that one to plaster above my bed without telling me. At least you used the best one.”
She giggles, covering her mouth with a hoof and peering over the railing at me. She seems lighter, bouncier than I remember her being last time I saw her. Not at all like the videos.
“I’m glad you like it. It was my favorite too... did you listen to it?”
“I did. May I come up?”
She nods, and lowers the stairs. Babs and Applebloom put that in place, I remember now. I always thought it was awesome... though it was kind of a reminder that I couldn’t fly up to the treehouse, as a foal.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I liked it as much I should’ve. I always listened to them.”
“I’m glad. I... made them for you.”
Should I? Something tells me that it’s okay, that I should... but I’m not sure.
I nuzzle under her chin, and she nuzzles back.
“I know. I’m sorry I was stupid. I know it was painful for you...”
“But you know now,” she says, and when I look up, she kisses me lightly on the lips.
I’m stunned at the brief touch, but not unpleasantly. I’d never noticed how beautiful she really is, how wonderful she smells... how much I like it when she smiles.
“Sweetie...”
“Sh. It’s alright. I know. Let me have it, though? I’ve always wanted to.”
I smile back weakly. “Not like I can take it back, can I?”
“Nope!” She giggles again, and then sits. We face each other and I try to think of something to say. What do you say to someone who’ve you’ve... basically ignored? How do you apologize for something like this? Do you apologize?
“I’m...”
“Not good at this feelings stuff. I know. You really need to get your own lines, Scootaloo,” she says playfully.
“Yeah, yeah. But I am sorry, Sweetie. You know I love you and I never wanted to hurt you... but I’m not sure I love you like that. You’re beautiful and you’re kind and... you’re like my sister. We grew up together.”
She nods. I search her eyes for tears or some sign of sadness and find... nothing. Acceptance? I can only hope. How can I know?
“I think I knew when you and Rumble got serious. I’m... really sad right now. I mean, when you wake up, ‘right now.’ But I love you, Scootaloo. I’ll never get over it... but I can move on. I can find a pony to have and to hold, but what scares me is that you’ll leave me. I can be happy for you if you’re with Rumble, and I’ll sing for your foals and do all that silly stuff we dreamed about and joked about as kids, in this treehouse. Maybe I’ll even call Rumble by his name, if he’s good to you.” She winks at me, and I roll my eyes.
“Just... when you wake up, will you do me a favor?”
“Always.”
“Always be my friend. I know you don’t love me like that. But... I got my kiss, didn’t I? I can learn to live without any hope of that. I’ll find new hope. Be my sister.”
“Always.”
I feel tired.
I can only guess that I’m going to wake up soon. How long have I been in this weird nebula dream thing? Hours, maybe. Maybe only minutes.
But... I have one more to visit. The most important visit of all I saved for last. Two wrongs made right.
Now for the one thing I did do right the first time around.
He sits on our bed, smiling at me. Well, his bed. It’s not ours yet.
It’s my first time. I’m shaking like a leaf, my wings stiff and awkward. I feel like a fool, even knowing it’s all a dream. Especially knowing it’s a dream. I try to let go of that knowledge, and let myself relive this again.
“Hey,” he says. His voice is soft. I’m not sure his voice has ever been this soft.
“Hey,” I whisper back.
He pats the bed, and I know my face is pure crimson as I climb up beside him.
He kisses me, and it’s gentle, friendly. Kind. He kisses my forehead, and nuzzles me.
“You seem a little nervous, Scootaloo.”
“I swear to Celestia, if you’re just gonna make fun of me...”
He laughs softly, and kisses my cheek, working his way back down to my mouth again. He brushes his lips against mine and I sigh.
I should stop running. I can afford to stop running for a night. Especially for this. Especially for him.
“I love you,” I whisper, and kiss him back like he deserves. He responds in kind, wrapping his forelegs around my neck, pressing closer to me, holding me firmly in his grip. I feel safe here, protected. Encircled.
We fall backwards.
I open my eyes, and the first thing that greets me is the album poster of Sweetie Belle. I touch a hoof to my lips, remembering the touch of her own.
“Scootaloo? You’re awake! I was a little worried.”
I look over at the source of the voice. Star Mother is sitting beside my bed, reading something. She slides a bookmark onto the page with her teeth and then comes closer to the bed. Timidly, she nuzzles my cheek. I smile and return the greeting.
“I’m glad you’re safe, Star Mother.”
She smiles. “I am glad to be safe, Scootaloo. You were brave. And I have a new name now.”
“Oh?”
“I was born at last, was I not? Call me Selene. Do you like it?” I nod, and she continues. “I am glad. I am also glad that you’ve woken at last. I was beginning to wonder whether or not you would, after taking in so much of the garden’s influence.”
“I... took in just enough. Wasn’t that brave, really. I mean, he would’ve just dissolved on you too, right?”
She shakes her head. “No. Well, yes, but not as harmlessly as you think. May I tell you a story?”
I shrug.
“Luna, my mother, made me to do right what she did wrong, do you remember? When she came here, full of resentment and worries, her sorrow was so great that it birthed a Shadow. He understood her, followed her in the dream, preached and convinced and wooed, and she accepted him at last. That is how she became Nightmare.
“So she sent me here, to face my own demon; my own Shadow, programmed into me but rooted in the faults of Luna from whose mind I was born.”
“And you won.”
“Yes, with your help. I... I considered it, Scootaloo. How could I not? At first, he was kind. He distracted me, showed me such... wonders and puzzles that only I could solve. Flatteries, empty but pleasing. He connived and I was torn from you. He stole away my voice at last, and my precious systems, and I fought him. And when at last my body was ready, he knew he had lost his chance to join with me. So instead he would have driven me mad in the dream of the garden of the stars.”
“But... why was he focused on me, too?”
“There were two Ghosts at first, mine and yours. Do you remember the day that Rainbow was hurt in the Heart?”
I grimace, and shiver. “Unfortunately.”
“It was on her own pod that she burned. It was linked to her by more than genetic material, Scootaloo; all the pods are hybrids of magic and technology, the same as I was. The anger and the pain she felt... the desperation for you to help her... it scarred her pod’s growing AI.”
I can connect dots when they’re easy enough. “So... when she was sad and looking for me...”
“The AI only knew it needed you. It was frustrated, and it cut itself off from me. I think it began to understand shame. But I may never know, for the Ghost has wounded it greatly and it will be silent for a long time. Alone, it was vulnerable, and the Shadow found it. The Ghosts it made were constructed from the nebula, which when condensed it disguised using it’s magic and a sample of Rainbow’s genetic material for a blueprint.”
“The nebula?”
“Luna spoke of it as an amplifier... which is true. In a way, when concentrated, it reminds one of a primitive nervous system. It’s strange. The Shadow perfected the process, making phantoms that could touch and rend. But he was still connected to me and to the system.”
“So when you left...”
“He knew it was only a matter of time before he began dying. He had one chance, and you stood in his way to keep me safe. Thank you, Scootaloo.”
I lie back against the bed, taking it all in.
“Star... Selene. Did you turn us around? How long was I out?”
“Three days. And yes, Scootaloo, I turned the ship around.”
I sigh, and close my eyes. “I’m ready to go home, Selene. Really, really ready to go home.”