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// Chapter 8: Apocryphal Fabrication 
// Story: Time Turner's Discordian Detective Agency: The Panther of the Bluebloods 
// by Rodinga 
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	“Nice Kitty,” I said as I stood my ground. I’d heard somewhere that running just convinces predators to chase. If I had known that I would be testing that theory I would have paid more attention to whatever advice came with it. As it was the Panther seemed to be taking my measure, deciding what it was going to do with me.

“Catch,” I said loudly to the mare standing behind me. “What does it want?”

There was a pause while Catch “ahhed” over the problem. Eventually she said, “It’s curious, I think it’s searching for something and found you instead. Be careful Timey, animals don’t like being confused.”

“Are you sure?” Octavia asked Catch. “I mean, how do you know that?” The twinge of worry in the normally unflappable cellist did not help.

“It’s my talent remember?” Catch replied. “Though I’m also kinda surprised it’s working on it, normally—”

“Catch,” I interrupted. “You can share your mark story with Octavia later, once the ancient and presumably very powerful magical construct stops looking at me like a new scratching pole.” The Panther sniffed me again, slowly padding its way around toward my flank as it scanned me. It showed particular interest in my rear, coming to a halt between me and the two mares.

I tried to calm myself down with a deep breath, asking myself what it would be interested in. The smell of smoke from the fireworks caught in my nose and struck a chord in my mind. The Panther could smell dark magic.

“I destroyed the source,” I said to the Panther, going out on a limb that if it was intelligent enough for Catch to understand its feelings then it could understand me. “The dark magic was enchanted into a crystal hidden under the Prince’s chambers. When I broke it the magic dissipated.” The Panther stopped examining my rear and instead looked toward my face, its head tilted downward slightly as it watched.

“I think it’s… disappointed,” Catch explained. “It’s got that kind of feeling you get when you search for hours to find what’s making a pet sick, only to discover it just ate a box of chocolates.”

Huh, I thought, trust Catch to come up with a pet related analogy. I turned to face it properly. “Not what you were looking for?” I asked it directly. In response the Panther walked over and stood beside Catch, her face took on a pensive look as she tried to interpret the Panther’s feelings.

“Something, old and terrifying, made from darkness and hate,” Catch said as a frightened look crossed her face. “Whatever it is, it scares him.”

We all paused for a moment as we thought about what it could be. The mare in the moon had disappeared earlier, leaving the lunar surface bare of the shadow that had been traditionally linked to the dark spirit of Nightmare Night in the old fairy tales. I’d seen a few tales performed on stage back in Trottingham, the spirit was often named Nightmare Moon or just The Nightmare (1). Usually the hero of the story would outsmart the spirit in a game or lead it into a trap.

 Considering traps and games were things that Princess Celestia was supposed to be good at, I decided we could just leave it to her to solve.

I shook my head, “its somepony else’s problem. The princess will probably deal with it.” I looked up to find Catch comforting the Panther, running her hoof through its insubstantial back. I found it amusing that the sun itself wouldn’t rise but Catch still cared for pets, some things never change.

Octavia looked on with some interest before asking, “Do you mind explaining what just happened?”

A considered a couple of responses and settled on, “She’s a very affectionate mare.”

“Not quite what I wanted to know, Turner.” Octavia motioned her head toward the Panther.”

“It’s a guardian, I mentioned this earlier, it protects Blueblood or rather,” I raised my volume, “it should be protecting him.” The pair looked back at me and Catch rolled her eyes, it wasn’t creepy at all.

“Speaking of the prince,” I said as I turned to Octavia. “I should probably go find him at the palace and make sure everything is alright on his end.”

“I will stay here and help keep the crowd entertained with Vinyl.” Octavia looked around, “Not that we have anything left, and I suspect Vinyl’s making up her music as she’s going now.”

“I’ll leave you to that then. At least the party earlier was fun.” I was about to leave when Octavia put a hoof on my shoulder to stop me.

“Time Turner, I would appreciate it if you stopped by my apartment before you go home. About that favour you promised me.”

I groaned inwardly. “I’ll make sure to stop by later, goodnight Octavia.” I walked over to retrieve my saddle bags, Twilight’s telescope and Catch’s satchel. I went back over to Catch where she was rubbing the ears of the ancient construct.

“Catch, we’re going to go find Blueblood.” I looked toward the Panther, “you’ll probably want to come as well.” Catch nodded and I passed her satchel over. Without a word said between them Catch opened her satchel and the Panther congealed, for lack of a better word, itself down to the size of a small cat to sit in the open bag.

Catch caught my bemused expression and said, “It wanted to tag along without scaring anypony.” I decided not to ask about it, and filled those thoughts away with my first attempts to understand Pinkie Pie.




A brisk trot toward to palace later and we arrived to the largest show of force I’d ever seen from the royal guard. The entrance hall of the palace was filled with stallions and mares in golden armour, the vast majority of them were grey coated unicorns. The usual white coated pegasi were absent.

Keeping to our usual strategy we walked past them, headed to the front of the line-up. None of the guards reacted to our presence until we reached the front where the Captain was conferring with his lieutenants.

“Time Turner,” called out a voice I’d heard far too often lately. Sure enough Shining Armour was standing amongst his fellow lieutenants in full armour with blue trim, along with the captain in purple. Armour beckoned a hoof toward me and I approached.

“Captain,” I greeted first with a respectful nod. “Lieutenant Armour,” I followed with the usual pronunciation. To his credit Armour maintained his stony expression, while the Captain considered me with interest as he ran a hoof through his huge grey moustache.

“So, you’re the “detective” Blueblood hired to investigate his wild goose chase,” the Captain said, not bothering to conceal his disdain for the prince. It was an interesting position since Blueblood probably had a lot of say over how much budget the guard got.

I shot a glance toward Catch’s satchel and saw that her passenger had retreated out of view. “Correct Captain, may I ask as to what is going on?”

“Blueblood summoned every unicorn guards-pony to the palace. Every pegasus has been sent to aid the princess while we’ve been denied the opportunity to join them.” The Captain was clearly not taking the inaction well and I didn’t have any sympathy for him.

I looked around and couldn’t see Blueblood or Fabulator anywhere. “Captain, do you know where the Prince is?”

“He’s gone to the Royal Archives with that other layabout. Apparently he has a ‘plan’.” I raised an eyebrow at the Captain’s comment. Blueblood had mentioned he had an idea about what the princess would want him to do, something better than standing around at any rate.

“We’ll go help him then.”

Before we could leave Armour objected, “The archives are locked, you won’t be able to get in without permission.”

The Captain glared at Armour as he spoke. “Since you’ve been so keen on the Prince’s activities lately you can escort these two there.” Armour stayed stoic under his superior’s gaze and gave a salute. Dismissed, Armour led the way and motioned for us to follow as he took us toward the end of the hall.

Once we were out of earshot of the Captain I walked up alongside the Lieutenant and asked, “Interested in Blueblood are we?”

Shining Armour narrowed his eyes as he looked back at me. “Princess Celestia asked me to personally keep an eye on Blueblood while she was gone. I was just following her orders, even if the Captain doesn’t consider the prince important.”

“Do you?”

“The princess does, that’s enough for me,” he replied like to good guard he was. “Do you?” he asked in turn.

“He’s the one paying me,” I replied. Armour’s gaze narrowed before I added, “That and he’s the only pony around with a plan.” I looked over my shoulder at Catch, who was following just behind but remained quiet. The lack of spontaneous affection and questions had me a little nervous about what effect the Panther was having on her.

Armour led us out into the same courtyard where Twilight’s Ivory Tower was located, instead of heading in that direction we went across to another tower with an iron portcullis over the door. Once we reached the door Armour lit his horn and moved the hidden mechanism to open the portcullis (2).

“Be warned: the knowledge within can be dangerous if misused, please consider the result of your research,” Armour spoke in monotone to recite a speech he’d probably given before.

“What sort of danger?” I asked as we entered the Royal Canterlot Archives.

“I’ve never asked,” Armour replied.

“You’ve never been curious?” a smirk crossed my face. “Just being the guard I see. Armour you’re an officer, you need to ask these questions.” I ignored whatever scathing look the Lieutenant gave me as I climbed upstairs.

As we reached the first floor I saw a light coming from an archway with a prominent clover emblazoned above it. Inside we found Prince Blueblood pouring over a book on a central pedestal, a flicker of light came from his horn as he attempted to cast a spell and growled when it failed.

“Having trouble?” I asked as we walked in.

Blueblood nearly jumped out of his skin in shock before he quickly recovered and turned to face us. “Have you not heard of decorum? Knock before you interrupt!” the prince declared and dramatically stamped his hoof. “I was in the middle of a critical spell.”

“So I can see,” I replied neutrally. “The partygoers have been calmed, but they’ll start to panic again in a few hours if the sun doesn’t rise.”

‘It will,” the prince said as he lit his horn again, only to abruptly snuff out a moment later. “Confound it,” Blueblood cursed. “I should be able to touch it at least.”

Shining Armour coughed politely, “My Prince, would you wish my assistance?”

Blueblood grumbled, “I shouldn’t need it. I found the spell my ancestors used to raise the sun and moon.” He indicated an engraved slab of marble that sat on a pedestal in the centre of the room. “Auntie made sure to have it prominently located should it ever be needed again. From the text I can see that no single unicorn – not even I – can move it alone, but I should be able to feel it at least.” Blueblood waved Armour forward so he could see the spell as well, I followed. “There is some haze that misdirects me as I try to reach out.”

“Perhaps I could help you,” Armour posited. “With my aid you might have the strength to push through the disruption.”

The prince nodded reluctantly, “if you could apply a star-field to the harmonic…” I tried to read the slab as the pair of unicorns started to delve into magical theory. Much like their jargon laden conversation the engraved slab made no sense to an earth pony. I recalled seeing many of the symbols in books but I might as well have been trying to read pegasus wing-semaphore.

I gave up and looked over my shoulder at Lucky Catch instead. My assistant was trying to follow the conversation between the unicorns and now looked thoroughly confused.

I tried listening again for a moment, “… That’s why I summoned every unicorn in the guard, a timed mana wave…” Somehow I knew that asking what “mana” was would lead to a long explanation that still wouldn’t answer my question.

I went over to Catch and tapped her on the shoulder. “Is it still in your bag?” I asked quietly.

Catch shook off her bemused expression as she looked at me, shot a glance at the other two and whispered back, “It is.”

“Keep it in there for now,” I said.

Catch looked at the two unicorns again. “Do you understand any of that?”

“About as much as they would know about gardening.”

Catch smiled a little. “My flowers at home are a bit plain and tasteless, but they’re better than what my neighbours have.” Even in a city like Canterlot or Manehatten you can expect an earth pony to grow something, even if only to add something to lunch or save on buying food.

“I never had much luck with flowers in Canterlot,” I admitted. “The cold air here never worked for me.”

“You have a very nice garden back in Ponyville.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I put a bit of effort in and I’ve been rewarded.”

Catch’s smile took on a sly slant, “It’s too nice, Timey. Who does it for you?”

I sighed, “Roseluck, she keeps it looking nice and I let her sell some of the flowers at her stand on market days.” I tended to forget about my garden, growing plants was never my strong suit (3).

Catch’s face lit up as I admitted she was right. “Perhaps I could show you how to do it properly sometime.”

“Hang on, we’re missing somepony,” I said in an attempt to change topic.

“Huh?” Catch said as she looked around. “Blueblood and Shining Armour are both here, who do… Oh, where’s Fabulator? I thought he was with the Prince.”

“Exactly,” I said as I walked toward Blueblood. I stepped in front of him and said, “Prince Blueblood, wouldn’t you have wanted Fabulator’s help in this? I noticed he isn’t here.”

“He wandered off to see if he could find anything else that could help,” the prince replied. “Go find him. I want him to take a look at this as well.”

Dismissed I turned around and went back toward Catch. At least the search gave me a reason to do something other than stand around. I gave Catch a shrug and she fell in beside me as we walked out of the room, headed up to the next floor of the archives.

The next floor proved to be empty, the archway had an image of a swirl of stars emblazoned over it and was blocked by a locked gate. On the next level up we saw a light through another archway under an outlined circle. I went up against the wall and peeked around a corner to look inside.

Fabulator stood with Blueblood’s two bodyguards, searching the books on the shelves. Finding a volume that interested him he floated it into a bag on the back of one of his escorts. All three of them had a considerable selection of books and scrolls on them.

I beckoned Catch forward so she could take a look.

“What are they doing with all those books?” Catch asked.

“Somehow I don’t think they’re about raising the sun,” I replied quietly. “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Check a few of the book titles while I distract him.” I walked into the room towards Fabulator, with Catch falling into step behind me after a moment’s hesitation.

“Fabulator,” I called out as I approached. The noble was briefly surprised to see me, the guards tensing up as they noticed me.

“Ah, Detective Turner,” Fab said to me. “I should have expected you’d find your way here eventually. Did you manage to stall the panic?”

“With a little help from the Wonderbolts,” I admitted. “I came to check on the prince’s progress and he sent me up here to get you. He’s found the spell, but needs help testing it.”

“Ah,” Fabulator said with a smile. “Tell him I’ll be down shortly, there’s a few more shelves I need to check in tandem spell casting. We’ll need to team up a large group to move the sun.”

“I’ll let him know, make sure you find a book the guards can understand,” I said as I turned to leave.

“We will,” Fab assured me as Catch followed me out of the room.

Once we were out of sight a dropped the pleasant expression from my face. “Well, that was fun.” I looked over toward Catch, “Notice anything?”

“I saw a few titles in a bag on one of the guards: ‘Crystal Cantrips’, ‘The Fall of the Crystal Empire’, ‘Illicit Illusions’, ‘Competent Constructs’ and I think the last was ‘Mental Maze Magic’,” Catch recited. I couldn’t be sure what any of those meant, apart from “Unicorns Love Alliteration”. None of them sounded like “Dynamic Duo, Combined Casting” or anything to do with tandem spells.

“I think we might have our suspect,” I said as we passed the star swirl arch. “None of those books mean anything to us, but I bet Armour and Blueblood might recognise something.”

“You think Fabulator enchanted the dark crystal?” Catch asked.

“He’s a unicorn and he had access to Ruff, he’s clearly paid off Blueblood’s bodyguards so a dog wouldn’t be much more effort. What I want to know is what he’s getting out of this.”

“He’s got a lot of books,” Catch said as she looked back upstairs. “Do you think he might have been after some sort of magic?”

A worried look crossed my face, Catch mirrored it as well. “I have no idea what he might be after up there, we’ve seen some dark stuff already.”

“Perhaps...” Catch mused. “Perhaps he’s looking for a spell to turn himself into an alicorn.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Celestia, I hope not. Last thing we need is a demi-god tearing Equestria apart.”




We found the pair of unicorns attempting to combine their magic. Armour and Blueblood were focusing their magic in the air between them, creating a spherical shape in the air. A dark shimmer shot through the ball and it shook in front of them. Knowing a bad sign when I saw one I dragged Catch behind a shelf just as the ball exploded in a flash of light and sound.

Once the ringing in my ears subsided I looked around the corner to find the pair of unicorns laid out on the ground. Armour was the first to recover and brought himself to his hooves, ignoring the charred state of his armour. Prince Blueblood remained on the ground, hooves cradling his head.

“Your grace, are you alright?” Armour asked as he attended to the prince.

Blueblood groaned, “I haven’t felt a feedback hit like that since I tried to open auntie’s diary as a colt.”

“Sir?”

“Her idea of a joke, she paraded the book in front of me on a few occasions. When I tried to break it open it threw me across the room.” He brought himself to his hooves, and then produced a mirror and comb to fix his mane. “She appeared and chastised me for invading her privacy. I tried to justify my actions as the curiosity she always tried to encourage and she said I should have just asked permission.” Blueblood rolled his eyes, “When I did she opened it and showed me it was blank.”

I retold Blueblood’s story to Twilight Sparkle a few weeks later and it turns out Princess Celestia pulled the same trick on her as a filly. I suppose that says something about our princess’s teaching style.

I stepped out from behind the shelf and approached the pair. “So I take it you still can’t reach the sun?”

Blueblood snorted, “It’s just a barrier. Once I get the unicorn guard behind me we’ll be able to break through it. This is a problem that has to be solved through raw power.”

“That’s a bad idea,” Shining Armour objected, and the quickly remembered who he was speaking to. The guard threw up a salute and asked, “Permission to speak freely, Sir?”

“Denied,” Blueblood answered.

“Actually,” I said. “You can tell me Lieutenant, I’d like to know.” Blueblood scowled at me as I pretended to ignore him, I love abusing loopholes.

Armour looked directly at me as he spoke and said, “What you saw was our magic being pushed back at us. If the combined might of the guard can’t break the barrier we’ll be hit by a huge back blast.”

“That sounds bad,” Catch said.

“It would probably dislodge the palace from the mountain side,” Armour replied flatly.

“Well I don’t know about you, Blueblood,” I added. “But I like the idea of living.”

“As if any barrier can stand up to over two hundred unicorns,” the prince argued.

“Probably better to wait for the princess to break it,” I replied. “Besides, we might have another problem.”

“What could be more important than raising the sun?” Blueblood asked skeptically.

“A more immediate problem,” I noted. “Fabulator is upstairs with your bodyguards taking books off the shelves.”

“He went up there to find out what could be causing this,” Blueblood said.

“Catch what were those titles again?” I asked. Catch quickly listed the titles she’d seen. When she mentioned the “Fall of the Crystal Empire” and “Crystal Cantrips” both Blueblood and Armour considered what we said more seriously.

“Judging by the looks on your faces we hit a nerve there,” I said.

“Normally I wouldn’t be worried about that sort of thing,” Armour said. “But considering recent events…” he said as he looked toward the prince who wore a look of betrayal on his face.

“Is this what he was after this entire time?” Blueblood said as he began to pace. “The first time I thought I found somepony among that bunch of vultures that wasn’t trying to marry me or cheat their way into status!” He lashed out and bucked over the pedestal in the centre of room. “To think I thought to call Fabulator a friend!”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Said a voice from behind me, I turned on the spot to find Fabulator standing in the entrance archway flanked by Blueblood’s guards.

“It seems I’ve obviously missed something,” Fabulator said as he stepped into the room. “Mr Turner was very kind to come inform me of your success, Blue. I take it you found the spell?”

“I have, not that it’s any good to us, there’s a barrier in the way,” Blueblood replied.

“Well, if the pair of you were unable to break it then there’s little we can do about the sun for now.” Fabulator walked forward with his guards, causing me and Catch to retreat back to where Blueblood and Armour were standing.

Fab turned his head in curiosity, “Why so defensive? I haven’t done anything to any of you.”

“I suppose that quartz crystals enchant themselves with dark magic then?” I asked, “Or do they normally grow on piles of gemstones?”

“I hardly see what the actions of a disgruntled servant would mean to me.” Fabulator replied neutrally.

“You have a book on crystal cantrips in your bag,” Catch countered.

“Actually it’s in his bag,” Fab replied as he pointed toward one of his guards. “I haven’t even read it yet.”

“One of Blueblood’s guards you mean?” I said. “You paid them off the same way you bought Ruff, and set him up to take the blame. I suppose those guards of yours also had access the Blueblood’s vault. What better way to buy a patsy then to buy him with incriminating evidence.” I pointed a hoof at Blueblood, “Then you let slip to him that you’ve seen his servant, a diamond dog no less, shining gemstones that you thought belonged to the prince. A quick investigation proves you right and the dog is sent to the dungeons.”

“Now that I think about it,” Blueblood mused. “You were the one who tipped me off to that. Just so you could hide a source of dark magic and brainwash me from afar, all while pretending to be my friend.”

Fabulator rolled his eyes, “I suppose I’m not talking my way out of this.” He looked toward his guards, “Contingency Plan C.” His guards opened their wings and shot forward.

Just before the traitor guards could reach us a pinkish field shot up, sounding the four of us in a spherical shield. I looked to my left to see a glow around Shining Armour’s horn. I looked at the shield again and noticed how it shined, literal shining armour.

Fabulator walked forward and gave the field a tap with a hoof. “Not bad,” he said as he admired the lieutenant’s work. “Very sold, nothing gets in, nothing gets out.”

“Nothing I don’t want,” Armour said as kept the field up.

“You can hear me, so air can pass through then, nicely done.” Fabulator stepped back from the shield and was joined by his guards. “Since you’ve forced my hoof I suppose I have no more secrets to hide.” Fab sighed, “Blueblood, you assume I always intended to betray you. No our friendship was quite real.  You can be rather interesting when you’re not acting like a pompous ass and when you stop assuming everypony just wants get to the princess through you. In fact, the way you are so protective of your “auntie” might be your greatest virtue.”

Blueblood stepped forward to stare out of the shield, his horn touching the barrier. “If you were so set on being my friend, then why did you attempt to brainwash me?”

Fab looked affronted, “Where did that notion even come from? What would I even gain? The princess would notice immediately and break it without any effort at all.”

“Then what did you want from me?”

“To scare you,” Fabulator announced like it was obvious; it was to me of course. “Just enough darkness to summon the ‘Panther of the Bluebloods’, you’d see it, you’d get scared and nopony would believe you, except me.

“And then when the princess left to go to Ponyville I’d convince you to look for answers in the royal archives. Then I would have my true prize, the forbidden knowledge of the old unicorn kingdom.” Fabulator stopped his monologue to switch his attention to me. “Of course, no plan is perfect. I was surprised to find that Blue here would hire outside help, let alone somepony who’d actually break the crystal.”

“I aim to please,” I responded confidently.

Fabulator barely acknowledged me before he turned back to Blueblood. “I was ready to take what I could get and just accept that I had your friendship at least, Blue. Not quite what I wanted, but I’d have time to set up another plan and try again.”

“And then the sun failed to rise,” I added helpfully.

“Not even I expected that,” Fabulator clarified. “But suddenly there was an opportunity: Blue here needed the archives for the first time in his life. I couldn’t pass that up. Who could possibly refuse a chance at the greatest treasure trove of knowledge in Equestria?”

“So what were you after?” I asked. “Did you want to turn yourself into an Alicorn and live forever?”

“Nothing so grand,” Fabulator replied before adding, “Though if the opportunity arose I’d take it. I just wanted to walk out of here with every book or scroll I could carry. No matter what the subject, it would still give me an unchallengeable advantage over anypony else.”

“So what do you do now?” I asked. “You’re given everypony here your grand plan.”

“Only the sections of my gambit that have no more use to me.” He took a few steps back to address all of us. “Here are you options: You all decide that we’re friends and we walk out of here like nothing ever happened, I might even reward you all. Or I could attempt some of that brainwashing magic you mentioned, just enough so I can make you forget me.”

“We can’t let that happen,” Shining Armour declared. I’d been considering just walking out, it was no skin off my flank. Of course the goody little four shoes guard had to have an attack of nobility.

“You’ve admitted to using forbidden shadow magic,” Armour clarified. “Once that darkness touches your heart there’s no telling what it has left behind. The princess has made it clear to the guard that shadow magic can never be allowed to run amok again.”

“Great, I’ve got shadow cooties,” Fabulator replied sarcastically. He turned to the prince, “So Blue, I take it that loyalty of yours means you won’t be letting this go either.”

“The plague of shadow magic has cursed royalty before,” Blueblood declared. “I cannot let it happen again (4).”

Fabulator rolled his eyes, “So be it then.” A dark shadow gathered around his horn and flowed out of his suddenly green eyes. “Lieutenant, since your shield is air permeable I doubt you’ll be able to stop this.” A dark fog began to form and advance forward toward us.

Then there was the sound of a roar so loud everypony’s ears flattened as another fog streamed out of Catch’s satchel. Forming itself just outside the shield the Panther stared toward Fabulator, its body coiled like a spring, ready to pounce.

“Well,” I said as I seized the opportunity of a lifetime. “It looks like the cat is out of the bag.”



Luna’s Notes:

(1) During our exile the story around the events of our fall had fallen into legend and finally myth, so most modern ponies have only heard of The Nightmare through stories intended to frighten foals. Time Turner’s exposure to Trottingham’s theatrical heritage has left him much better informed than his fellow ponies.

(2) The hidden mechanism means that only a unicorn who knows the layout can operate it. In this case this only includes a small selection of guards, Blueblood, our sister and us.

(3) Time Turner’s lack of gardening skill may be a direct result of the dominance of the reset as his talent. It is likely he is also deficient in many other skills normally considered strong in earth ponies. 

(4) It is likely Blueblood is referring to more than one event. There have been several incidents involving shadow magic outside those of Nightmare Moon and King Sombra.
Shadow magic can be an easy and direct method to deal with any problem. Unfortunately that is only how it starts, and soon the easy option becomes more and more attractive to use. Eventually the shadow will start to affect your mind and suddenly what would once have been horrifying has become reasonable, or worse desirable.