//------------------------------// // Chapter 13: Conflicting Interest // Story: A Zoologist Dream // by Sonson-Sensei //------------------------------// Conflicting Interest Chris sat alone in the Canterlot archives, practically drowning himself in the wealth of knowledge the vast library provided. Having been brought up to speed on what had left both him and Keon stranded in this strange land, dubbed Equestria of Equis, he now had a new goal in mind. Setting down the third book on the indigenous wildlife of Equestria that he had gone through, he sighed, thinking of his dilemma. Having read a primer on the valley of the changing seasons, he figured that getting home would not be a simple task, perhaps even insurmountable. The valley didn’t sound like anything that could exist in the waking world. Every facet of the valley was in an ever shifting flux. The weather and its erratic timetable, constantly changed from blistering heat, freezing rains and hallucinogenic fog to powerful wind squalls, while the oxygen there could be perfectly fine one moment, then dangerously thin the next. Even the ground itself could shift without warning, giving birth to chasms in only minutes. If the sheer nature of the place wasn’t enough to kill the dynamic duo of him and Keon, the animals there would surely be up to the job. On further thought, he couldn’t help but wonder what possessed the EONs to believe that nesting in such a place was even remotely a good idea. Having seen an EON in the flesh, he couldn’t even compare the docile looking bird to the other animals, if that were even the right term to use when referring to the monsters that called that place home. Aside from the danger, procuring an EON wouldn’t guarantee a free ride back to his world either. According to what Celestia and Luna had divulged, taming the creatures to use their abilities for practical use had failed in the past. So, what was the plan? Dive in headfirst into a death pit in the hopes of catching a rare bird that could warp time and space, then tame and train said bird to send them back to the world they had come from. He held no delusions, the idea sounded half baked at best, but the alternative would be to stay in wonderland. The sane part of him didn’t like that idea in the slightest. There was simply too much to consider losing: his mother, sister, friends, humanity and the very life that he had planned for himself. Although, the less rational and more adventurous side of him looked to the silver lining; he’d been given an opportunity no man before him had. A chance to live and see wonderful and impossible things, only ever brought to fruition in fiction. “Can’t a guy have his cake and eat it too?” Chris grumbled, as he reached for another book on the inhabitants of the world of Equis. This was the fourth one of its kind he skimmed through, as he found them the most intriguing. The amount of sapient life on the planet was, for a lack of better words, confusing. It was as though the intelligent life was chosen by luck of the draw, with evolution having very little to do with the actual process. Perhaps magic was the key factor in the grand scheme of things. He theorized that beings that were more in tune with the magic around them probably held a higher probability of breaking past the limitations of normal animals. Or perhaps whatever god they prayed to simply drew names from a hat at its leisure. The sound of the large library door opening jarred Chris from his musings, and he watched as a pony frantically entered and slammed the door shut behind her, quickly locking it. “Those reporters are like vultures, aren’t they?” Chris greeted the purple mare he’d come to know as Twilight Sparkle. “More like a pack of rabid timberwolves,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “I can’t even walk down the hallway without somepony trying to interview me about the pair of humans staying in the castle.” “Lucky for me, I had guard assistance when coming to the library,” Chris said, chuckling as he remembered his assigned guard chasing away more than half a dozen reporters that had tried to corner him on his way to get some breakfast a couple of hours ago. Twilight briskly cantered up to Chris and took the seat directly in front of him. “At this point, having snooping reporters around can’t be helped,” she added, before she used her magic to pull out a newspaper from within her saddlebag and offered it to Chris. Chris reached for the paper held within Twilight’s magic and caused the small field of magic to fizzle out like a wet firecracker. Twilight frowned. “This human resistance to magic is perplexing to say the least. In fact, it’s in need of extensive study,” Twilight said, as she considered the abnormality carefully. “I wonder if it’s only unicorn magic that’s rendered less effective, or does it extend to magical plants and potions, the magic in nature or even chaos magic like Discord's, as well?” Chris didn’t really believe it was cause for concern, as Twilight seemed to think it was. In truth, the idea of being completely at the mercy of anything disciplined in magic didn’t sit all too well with him to begin with. Choosing not to respond to Twilight’s statement, he stared at the newspaper he’d just procured. “Wow, we made the front page,” Chris said, not sounding at all surprised. Twilight nodded, took the hint that Chris wasn’t interested in discussing his apparent magic immunity and left the matter alone. “This isn’t just the local paper either,” Twilight said. “This is special world newspaper that’s being distributed to every kingdom, country, and continent. Before the end of the week, there won’t be a single citizen on Equis that doesn’t know of our two human visitors.” Chris sat the paper down and leaned back in his chair. “This is all happening so fast. It hasn’t even been a full day since some of Canterlot’s finest tried to buy me off of Rarity like a piece of jewelry. Now I’m an overnight celebrity ducking news reporters.” “Well, naturally the world will want to know all about you,” Twilight reasoned. “With you being here comes many questions and views from the public, the main being: what does your presence here mean for our future? Is it something to be welcomed or feared?” “And so here you are, in hopes of getting those answers, huh?” Chris asked. “I guess my intentions are as clear as glass,” Twilight answered. “As it so happens, I’ve been tasked by Princess Celestia herself to produce a written work on humankind. It’s a necessary step before humanity can be properly assimilated into our world.” “Assimilated? You actually want our ideas and culture to be a part of your world?” Chris asked with a raised brow, as he grabbed the newspaper and pointed to a picture on the far left corner. “You’re okay with more stuff like this?” he asked. “And this is really only the tip of the iceberg.” Twilight read the large caption. “Humans bring new dance.” The picture being of an obviously intoxicated Keon grinning like a fool, with Pinkie Pie’s rump pressed against his crotch. Twilight blushed slightly. “Well, I’m sure there are some things we’d probably be better off without, but that’s not my decision to make; the choice should be there for every pony to make themselves.” Chris shrugged. “Suit yourself, but when a marijuana dispensary opens up don’t act like I didn’t warn you,” he said, before reaching back for his book and picking up where he’d left off before Twilight had come in. Twilight tilted her head to read the spine of the book. “To Know Thy Self?” she read aloud. “That’s a very detailed book on pony anatomy, why an interest in that?” “Because I haven’t been able to make heads or tails of how your bodies can contort the way they do. Your thick, cylindrical legs are like nothing I’ve ever seen, having an even larger range of motion than a human arm,” Chris answered, not looking up from the book. “But even looking at these diagrams, I’m just more baffled than anything. I mean, your spines look more similar to what you might find in let’s say a weasel as opposed to an equine…” Chris paused, as he sat his book down and extended a hand towards Twilight. “Mind if I see your hoof?” “…Okay,” Twilight said while tentatively stretching out her right forehoof towards Chris. Chris reached out and held Twilight’s foreleg with his left hand, enticing a small giggle from her, while he simply raised a brow. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how soft human hands were,” was Twilight’s response, “please, continue.” Shrugging, Chris rubbed his palm on the underside of her hoof, feeling a slight resistance. “I think your hooves interest me the most,” he said. “There’s a modicum of elasticity and softness at the bottom, yet the outer layer is still firm, but not quite as tough as hooves composed of keratin, and you’re able to compensate for the lack of digits with the fine hairs on the bottom of your hooves. It’s a similar trick insects use to cling to walls, but obviously on a lesser scale. Still not as useful as a hand, but you can grip things fairly decent right?” Twilight simply nodded her response. “At first, I thought the differences between ponies from my world and you only ran skin deep, aside from magic of course, but it’s much more than that. You guys are truly something else entirely. It’s a lot to take in, really,” Chris concluded as he let go of Twilight’s hoof. “From what Keon has told me, the ponies in your world sound more like the natives of Saddle Arabia,” Twilight said with a pensive expression. Chris nodded his agreement. “Yeah, I read a little about them too, but it’s still about as close to comparing humans to chimpanzees. Sure, we share the bulk of our DNA and have things in common, but we’re still worlds apart.” “You know, you’re a lot more studious than I would have guessed,” Twilight admitted. “Just how long have you been up here in the library, studying all this material?” she asked curiously. “I came in here about a quarter to six,” Chris said. “I figured I’d cram as much as I could while I had some time to myself. I mean, at least one of the two humans here should be well versed in general knowledge of your world.” “Keon asked for a few books on the local wildlife and flora, but that’s about as much initiative he has taken to learn, unlike you,” Twilight said, as she began to remove materials and parchment from her saddlebags and placed them on the table they were sitting at. “Then again, he did say no human is the same.” “He’s always been a more 'play it by ear' type of guy,” Chris responded while flipping the page on the book he had been reading. “My self, well, I like to know where I’m going and how I’m getting there.” Twilight looked thoughtful. “That reminds me of somepony else.” “That so?” Chris said, as he focused his attention back on Twilight. “So, by the look of all the quills and parchment you’ve scattered around, I guess my questioning begins now?” “Well, if you don’t mind, I was kind of hoping after all,” she said with a sheepish grin. “I’ve already gathered a great amount of data from Keon that covered general knowledge of humans. Social orders, family structures, diets, basic physiology, etcetera.” “Sounds like you’ve got the gist of it,” Chris ventured. “So, what do you need from me?” “Your perspective,” Twilight answered. “Since you’ve been out and about I’d like to know how our world appears through your eyes.” “It’s colorful,” Chris deadpanned. “Colorful,” Twilight echoed. “I assumed you’d have more of an opinion than that.” Chris chuckled. “I’m kidding. Truthfully, I’ve been taking my own notes since I woke up here,” Chris said, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his small notepad and tossed it to Twilight. “There, I just saved you a tedious interview; feel free to thank me.” Twilight smiled as she took the notepad in her magic, but paused as she did so. “What’s wrong?” Chris asked, as he had noticed that Twilight was simply staring at the floating notepad. “Is this notepad from your world?” she asked, while bouncing the notepad up and down within her magical grasp. “Yep, bought it at a Walgreens. What of it?” Chris returned. “That’s strange: This notepad isn’t hampering my magic, like Keon’s netbook,” Twilight said. “And that means…?” Chris continued. “Well, when using magic for manipulation, you have to take control over the natural magic that resides within and around the object in question,” Twilight explained. “Since you come from a world without magic, there’s none that resides in you or anything that you’ve brought here. So, I could only control the magic around the item, making the task much more strenuous than it should be. But it seems like this notepad has accepted the magic around it. I’m willing to bet by this point it should be the same for any inanimate object you’ve come with.” “So, you’re saying I’ll eventually lose what resistance to magic I have?” Chris asked with a slight scowl. “Ah, so now you’re interested, huh?” Twilight teased with a smirk. “Like I’ve said before, this needs extensive study. But if I had to guess, I don’t think you’re in any danger of losing that resistance,” Twilight answered. “Unlike your notepad, your body isn’t just void of magic, it's actively repelling magic. How it’s doing that is the actual brain buster here.” “If you were able to come up with that so easily, I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually,” Chris replied, getting a simple nod from Twilight in return before she brought the notepad to her face and skimmed through it, nodding every so often. “I see you’re curious about our gender ratio,” She noted. “You’ve guessed that it’s six to one in favor of mares.” “That was my first guess, but there’s enough stallion guards around here to make me reconsider that,” Chris admitted. “As far as the world goes it’s actually along the lines of one colt born for every four fillies born. It just so happens that Ponyville has an even larger imbalance, closer to your speculation,” Twilight said. “And I’m sure you’d be surprised to find out just how many of those guards are actually mares,” she added to a now flabbergasted Chris. “But I was sure that…” “It’s a simple enchantment on the armor they wear,” Twilight quickly explained. “Princess Celestia likes the conformity the illusion gives,” she finished as she sat the notepad down and beamed at Chris. “Now, not that your notes weren’t appreciated, but this won’t be enough to get you out of our time together.” “I had a feeling you’d say that,” Chris replied with a sigh. Twilight looked pleased with herself. “Cheer up a little, I promise this will be a completely painless experience. Besides, it’s not like you have any prior engagements, right?” “Actually, I was hoping to speak to Celestia today about my plans to visit the valley of the changing seasons.” Chris replied matter-of-factly. Twilight’s quill dropped from the magic she was holding it with. “Not you too,” Twilight said with a perturbed expression. “I was hoping, between the pair of you and Keon, that you’d be the one with enough sense to realize that’s a fool’s errand.” “A fool’s errand?” Chris repeated. “Under any other circumstances I’d agree with you, but I owe it to Keon and myself to at least try and get us back. We’re a dimension away from home, and it’s all my damn fault.” Twilight was simply silent for a moment as she turned her attention to the book at the bottom of Chris’s pile and read the spine of it. “If you read that book, then you know what’s in store for you in that place, yet you’re still fine with going there?” Chris sighed. “I have to try, that’s all I can do.” “You don’t have to do it,” Twilight reasoned. “I mean, surely there has to be some upside to being here, isn’t there?” she persisted. “Yeah, no jury duty,” Chris deadpanned, the joke clearly lost on Twilight. “Just imagine if the roles were reversed. Your family, friends and the very world you knew all snatched away right from under your feet without you having a say in the matter. It isn’t that easy to simply cut your losses without giving it your all first.” Twilight was quiet, her ears drooping, as she mulled over what Chris had said. “I’m sorry. I get so wrapped up in my own world that I forget that both you and Keon had your own lives before arriving here.” “Don’t sweat it. Besides, humans are the most stubborn breed you can imagine,” Chris said. “Hell, who’s to say we won’t make it out of that place in one piece?” “Humans sure can be reckless,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “But even with such confidence, I should warn you that Princess Celestia won’t be so quick to let you endanger your life like this,” Twilight explained. “You have to realize that your position here is extremely… unique. As of today there’s enough protection on you and Keon to rival any of our most endangered species.” “There’s been protective laws passed for us?” Chris asked, finding it hard to believe. “How’d that happen so fast?” “Princess Celestia drew up the official decree a couple of days ago, after Keon was discovered,” Twilight said. “She only needed to place you two under the protection of an existing law on endangered species.” Chris clenched his fist in irritation. “Not that I don’t appreciate the concern, but I will be accountable for my own life. Celestia will just have to understand my life isn’t her responsibility.” “Well, technically speaking, so long as you’re within Equestria you fall under the jurisdiction of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” Twilight countered. “That does make it their obligation to keep you safe, and I’m afraid they may put a short leash on you in order to do that. I know it may sound unfair, but it’s for the sake of maintaining harmonious relations with humans.” “How is putting me on house arrest a harmonious gesture?” Chris returned with more heat than he intended. “Say more humans eventually come along in the future and find out that we let something terrible happen to you while you were in our care,” Twilight said, attempting to rationalize her point. “I know it’s unlikely; however, the blame may fall on us, and your people may seek vengeance. This is all hypothetically speaking of course, but every possibility must be considered before moving forward.” Chris was quiet for a moment as he mulled over what Twilight had said. He imagined that if the roles had been reversed that his people would have done something similar, or more along the lines of a quarantine, until something better could be figured out. In light of the situation, Celestia’s protective precautions made sense to him, they were perhaps even justified, but that didn’t mean he had to like it and he didn’t. Frowning, he pushed his chair back and stood up. “Where can I speak with Celestia?” “You don’t need to be so hasty,” Twilight stated. “We’re scheduled to have lunch with the princesses and the ambassadors at noon. You can express all of your grievances there,” she said, as she pointed her hoof down at the table. “Now, please sit. We still have our own business to complete after all.” “Fine,” Chris huffed, as he took back his seat, fighting back the urge to find and confront Celestia at that very moment. Meanwhile Keon let out a loud yawn as he stretched his aching limbs. His head pounded something fierce, like someone had played a game of hacky sack with his brain. As he rubbed his temples in a futile attempt to ease the pain, he stared around his confines blankly. He noticed that he was in the room that Celestia and Luna had provided for him, although he couldn’t recall when he’d made his way back to it. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he nearly screamed upon seeing the pale purple eyes of Gummy staring back at him. Apparently, the toothless gator had decided that his chest was as good of a place as any to relax. “This is the second time you damn near gave me a heart attack,” Keon grumbled, as he stared Gummy down, only getting a blank look from the alligator in return. “So, why the hell are you chilling with me anyway? Shouldn’t you be with…” Keon trailed off after spotting two sleeping ponies at the foot of his bed, huddled around his netbook. Pinkie was easy enough for him to recognize; however, the cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane currently snoring like a wild horse had him drawing blanks, yet she felt familiar all the same. “So, what’s with this having a sleepover in my room?” Keon grumbled, removing Gummy from his chest and sliding his legs away from underneath the cover and over the side of the bed, kicking something in the process. He looked to what his foot had just connected with and was surprised to find another pony sleeping on the ground. He didn’t have a clue who this one was either. She was a white unicorn with a mane colored in two shades of blue and he’d just kicked her full on in the face, sending her purple shades skidding across the ground. To her credit, she didn’t even twitch. “Alright, what the hell is going on here?” Keon muttered and looked down at himself and realized that he was clad only in his boxers. ‘There’s no way in hell I was drunk enough to do what I’m praying I didn’t do last night, especially if an alligator took part in the festivities,’ he thought, as he rose to his feet and walked over the sleeping unicorn and towards the bathroom, Gummy following close behind him. “So, I got shit faced last night. That much I’m sure of,” Keon recapped to Gummy, as he stood in front of the john, dropping his boxers half way down his ass. “Chris showed up at some point, I think, or was that a dream?” “That wasn’t a dream,” a tired sounding Rainbow Dash interjected, as she sluggishly made her way into the bathroom and towards the sink, turning on the faucet when she arrived. Keon watched in bewilderment, as Rainbow Dash splashed water on her face, apparently not caring for the fact that he was bleeding the lizard a few feet away from her. “By the way, why are you just standing in front of the toilet like that?” Dash asked, as she grabbed a nearby towel to dry her face. “It’s sorta weird,” she added. “Can a guy even take a piss in private?” Keon replied a bit irritably. “It’s bad enough Gummy wants front row tickets to the show.” Dash quirked her brow before realization dawned on her. “So, you pee standing up like that? Jeez, you humans get weirder and weirder,” she commented, as she rummaged through a cabinet in search of the spare tooth brushes. “Don’t mind me. Jus' go on about your business.” “I was going to do that without your consent anyway,” Keon said, as he got back to the literal task at hand. “Just keep your eyes that way.” Dash shrugged. “Trust me, I’ve seen enough of your bits to last a lifetime.” “Come again?” Keon replied. “Who do you think cleaned you up after you passed out in your own upchuck?” Dash asked, as she finally managed to find the toothbrushes. “Pinkie and me had to drag you up here while you were kicking and screaming like a new born foal. Then throw you into the bath, it’s a good thing Pinkie had so much left over duct tape. I mean, were you really so out of it you don’t remember any of that?” “So, out of it, I don’t even know who the hell you are,” Keon said as he pulled his boxers back up. “You can’t even remember the pegasus you wanted to take for a ride?” Dash said with a frown at being forgotten. “The name is Rainbow Dash, and don’t forget it this time,” she warned with a frown directed towards him. “But anyway, I guess it’s probably a good thing you don’t remember all the details of last night,” Dash replied with a wave of her hoof. “Let me be the judge of that,” Keon said, as he sat down on the seat of the toilet and cupped his face in his hands in an effort to alleviate the pain from the relentless pounding of his headache. Dash was quiet for a moment, looking as though she didn’t know how to say what she wanted before finally answering. “Well…let’s just say we found humans get uh… excited pretty easily.” Keon’s eyes widened in horror. “Just kill me now…” Almost as if in an effort to grant Keon’s request, Gummy chose that moment to leap up and bite down on Keon’s head. His heart skipped a beat, but he was quickly reminded of Gummy’s absence of teeth and apparent lack of jaw strength, only feeling an annoying pressure from the gnawing of Pinkie’s odd pet. “He must really like you: I only ever seen him chew on Pinkie like that,” Dash commented. “That a fact?” Keon said, as he made to pry Gummy off of his head. Dash nodded. “Yeah, but like I was trying to say, we know you humans don’t like to be seen without clothes or whatever, so the plan was to let Chris scrub you down, but he said he wouldn’t touch your naked body with a ten foot pole,” Dash explained with a tint of pink on her cheeks. “So, Pinkie volunteered to do it, and well, she’d barely even touched you before you were in full salute.” “Peachy, just the news I wanted to hear to go along with this damn hangover,” Keon grumbled before adopting an amused grin. ‘Reminds me of that time my mom caught me rubbing one out to BBW porn.’ “No, that was so much worse.” “What?” Dash returned, not having heard him. “I said, why in hell did I wake up to three ponies in my room?” “Oh yeah, sorry about that, crashing on your bed and all. It’s just Pinkie was going on and on to me and Vinyl about that netbook thing you have with the funny cartoons on it,” Dash explained. “We were up all night watching them, and I guess we just lost track of time and fell asleep in the middle of it,” she concluded, just as she finished brushing her teeth. “By the way, that net doohickey thing is totally sweet. You think you could get me one?” “Do I look like Santa Claus?” Keon said dryly. “Besides, I’m stuck here.” “Oh yeah, I guess I forgot,” Dash said dismissively, as she trotted towards the bathroom door. “And before I forget, Rarity said she wanted to talk to you in private about something.” “Rarity?” Keon repeated. “Yeah, white unicorn, fancy purple mane, a bit pompous. Ringing any bells?” Dash asked impatiently, waiting for some form of an answer. “I got white-girl wasted last night,” was Keon’s completely genius retort, as he stood up. “But never mind that, where’s my boy Chris at?” “Check the room next to this one,” Dash said, as she stretched out her wings, popping a few bones at the base of her wings. “Think I’m gonna go stretch out the old feathers for a bit. You should come watch. If you wanna see some totally awesome moves, that is,” she added, hoping to have at least one audience member to impress. “Think I’ll take a rain check on that one,” Keon said, as he made his way to the sink to freshen himself up a bit. “Suit yourself,” Dash said with a roll of her eyes, feeling slightly dejected as she left the bathroom and shut the door behind her. After having finished with his own morning rituals, Keon left the bathroom and quickly found his backpack. Taking out a pair of pants, he slipped them on and threw on his olive colored hoodie, along with his headband. Satisfied with himself, he headed for the door, but stopped as he heard Pinkie giggling in her sleep. ‘Who the hell laughs in their sleep?’ Keon wondered. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, he backtracked towards Pinkie. “Jesus, is she never not happy?” Keon muttered to Gummy, who seemed bent on following him around like a lost puppy. “Even when she’s off in dreamland, that damn smile doesn’t leave her face,” he said, as he made to scratch Pinkie behind the ears, making her grin and giggle even more. ‘Why do you ponies have to be so damn plush?’ “It must be nice be so carefree all the time,” Vinyl piped up with a loud yawn, settling her cerise colored eyes on Keon. “Pinkie Pie, I mean.” “You know, you ponies have a bad habit of speaking up when I’m not talking to you,” Keon said, as he sat down on the bed next to Pinkie, still scratching her behind the ears absentmindedly. “Then why say it out loud for anypony to hear?” Vinyl countered, now wiping the sleep from her eyes. “Jeez, feels like somepony bucked me in the head,” she grumbled while massaging the sore spot. “You sure it doesn’t feel more like a human kicked you in the face?” Keon quipped. Vinyl frowned. “You kicked me in the face?” Keon smiled in what he thought was an innocent manner. “It was an accident. Besides, no one told you to sleep right on the side of the bed like that.” Vinyl stood up and trotted over to her shades that were a few feet away. “There wasn’t any room left on the bed, but there was plenty of carpet right there,” she explained, as she put her shades back on. “Oh yeah, you might want to stop all the scratching, rubbing or whatever you’re doing, unless it’s your aim to get Pinkie all hot and bothered like that.” “Wha?” Keon mumbled turning his attention back to Pinkie. Her tail was twitching frantically, while her hind legs kneaded against the sheets and a large pool of drool was forming near her mouth. The entire time a content smile was plastered on her face. “Wait, she’s actually…” “Let’s put it this way, keep that up any longer and you’ll need to change the sheets on that bed,” Vinyl said with an amused smirk. “If you couldn’t tell by her body’s reaction, you should probably pick up a book on the matter before you make the mistake of doing something really sensual,” she warned. “I can’t be sure what would happen if you did that while she was in her estrus cycle.” Keon was quiet for a moment as he thought about what Vinyl had just said. “Nothing would happen,” he finally managed to say. “Or are you forgetting that we’re completely…well, different?” Vinyl raised her brow over the frame of her shades. “What’s your point?” she argued. Keon became silent once again before he furrowed his brow at Vinyl. “My point is that something like that wouldn’t fly where I’m from, and that’s all there is too it,” he said. “Last time I checked we aren’t where you’re from,” Vinyl shot back. “So, who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?” Vinyl persisted, taking amusement in Keon’s flustered appearance. Keon rolled his eyes. “You know what? I’m way too hungover to deal with this shit,” he said, as he stood up and walked passed Vinyl. “Catch you later, whatever your name is,” he finished before opening the door and exiting. After shutting the door behind himself he shook his head at seeing that Gummy was still at his feet. Kneeling down towards Gummy, he regarded him with confusion. “Look, I don’t have any food if that’s what this is all about. Besides, what does a toothless wonder like you even eat?” he tried and only got the same blank stare the alligator seemed singularly capable of giving. “Fine.” Keon sighed as he stretched out his hand, allowing Gummy to climb up his arm and drape himself over his shoulder. “I guess you’re hanging out with me today,” he said, as he stood up and stared around the hallway with a frown. “Yeah, check the room next to this one she said,” Keon grumbled in irritation, recalling where Rainbow Dash had told him he could find Chris. Both to his left and right were doors to other rooms and there was another one directly in front of him as well. Pointing his index finger at the door to his left he began to recite: “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a tiger…ah, fuck it, door number one it is,” he decided, before he walked to the door directly ahead of him and knocked on it. “Coming, coming,” a singsong voice called from the opposite side, a moment before the door opened, revealing a white unicorn. ‘Of course I’d choose the wrong door,’ Keon thought bitterly, observing the unicorn carefully. Just from her appearance alone he pegged her as a snooty little rich girl, probably a real bitch too. “Sorry, wrong room,” he offered, as he made to turn around but not before the mare stepped in front of his path. “Nonsense, Mr. Keon, you’re just the…“ She paused, as she stared at Gummy in confusion for a brief moment before continuing. “Person I was hoping to see,” she said, as she started to nudge him towards her room. “Now, please do come in.” Keon sighed. “I take it you must be the one Skittles called Rarity?” Rarity looked confused. “Beg your pardon, Skittles?” “You know, taste the rainbow?” Keon tried “It’s a joke, admittedly not a very good one.” Rarity forced a giggle. “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t understand your… quips, is it?” “I’m getting used to my wit going over everyone’s heads here,” Keon said with a shrug. “But I doubt you wanted to hear dry jokes from me. So, what can I do for you?” Rarity’s answer was to use her horn to nudge Keon towards her room. “Come, Darling, we can discuss it over tea,” she said, as she herded Keon into her room and shut the door. Keon looked around the room curiously. For the most part it shared the same basic design of the room he had been given, although the color scheme was different, focusing on purples and pinks rather than the reds and browns of his own room. “Have a seat anywhere you’d like,” Rarity offered, as she trotted over to a nearby table with a kettle sitting on it and began pouring two cups of tea. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he sat down in the chair nearest to him and waited for Rarity to finish preparing the tea. “How do you take your tea?” Rarity inquired. “One sugar cube or two?” “Make it six,” Keon answered. “I’m not driving.” “Six!?” Rarity gasped. “What can I say, I like sweet stuff?” Keon supplied with a shrug. “I didn’t realize I was serving tea for Pinkie Pie, but if you insist,” Rarity relented, as she used her magic to drop six of the cubes into Keon’s cup and made her way over towards him. Taking the offered cup of tea, he watched as Rarity clambered into a chair opposite him and sipped on her own tea with an unnecessary amount of poise. “Now, first order of business,” Rarity started, setting her tea aside. “Who was it that designed your ensemble, the one you were wearing last night?” “Are you kidding, all you want is to know who made my clothes?” Keon said, feeling that she could have asked him that in the hallway and saved them both the time. Rolling his eyes, he answered, “She was some chick named Tailor Made.” Rarity’s eyes lit up upon hearing the name. “Oh, I just knew it had to be somepony of her grade,” she squealed. “The stitching, the fabric choice, the attention to detail…” “Glad I could help,” Keon cut her off, as he stood up. “I’ll be on my way now.” “Not so fast,” Rarity said, before her horn shimmered in a light blue aura, a matching one covering the chair behind Keon and causing it to push forward, hitting him behind the legs and forcing him back into the seat. “Well, I guess I’m staying then,” Keon said with slight chagrin. “Forgive me for having done something so unladylike like,” Rarity said, as she got up and trotted towards her night stand. “I simply had to know who designed your clothing first; however, that is not what I truly wanted to speak with you about,” she explained, as she returned with something held in her magic that Keon instantly recognized as the fortune card Zuri had given him. “Before the maids took the clothing you sullied to be cleaned, they found the most peculiar item in one of your pockets,” Rarity explained while she held the card within her magic. “What exactly does this mean, Mr. Keon?” Keon scratched the side of his head as he regarded Rarity for a moment. “Believe it or not Sweetheart, but that card depicts my supposed future. At least that’s what a certain zebra believes.” Rarity’s eyes widened. “You mean to tell me that you will…Oh, I just can’t believe it!” she squealed like a filly. “How can something like this have happened? There’s just so much we have to discuss,” Keon snatched the card out of Rarity’s magic and stuffed it into his pocket, silencing the giddy mare. “Before you get carried away, we aren’t discussing this any further. No one else was even supposed to look at the damn thing,” Keon stated. “So, keep what you saw to yourself.” Rarity was quiet for a moment as she thought on what Keon had said. “I can see why the implications of that card may be something you don’t wish to speak of. Even so, as the gentlecolt I’m sure you are, can you answer a lady this?” Rarity pleaded. “Do you believe its fortune to be true?” Keon looked as though he was having an internal struggle with himself and his throat suddenly felt very dry. “...I don’t believe anyone knows the future, but then again, I didn’t believe in magic or talking ponies a few days ago either,” Keon answered in a roundabout way, just as the room began to darken. Both Rarity and Keon looked around in confusion. “Why did it get so dark all of a sudden?” Keon said, before he stood up and made his way over towards the window to look out. “Is it supposed to rain or something?” “I wasn’t aware of it,” Rarity answered, quickly joining Keon to peer out the window, only to have her heart skip a beat at what was currently blocking out the sun. Keon’s eyes widened in a mixture of fear and excitement wrapped into one. “Well, I’ll be damned, are those what I think they are?” “I don’t think those brutes can be mistaken for anything but what they are,” Rarity answered. Meanwhile Celestia frowned, as her chambers shook violently from the weight of something very large landing on her palace grounds. “So, they decided to show themselves after all,” she whispered, as she looked up from the heaps of paperwork and documents that needed to be filed and recorded on account of her two human visitors. Standing up, she trotted towards her balcony, using her magic to open the large glass doors, and sauntered onto the balcony to greet whoever had decided to show up at her home unannounced. Four massive dragons stood waiting for Celestia, their immense frames casting Celestia’s balcony in shadow. Each one of them was taller than the highest spire in Canterlot. She recognized them immediately, for these four dragons stood at the very summit of the dragon hierarchy. Although dragons were mostly nomadic, all dragons faithfully followed dragon code or dragon law written by these four dragons, known as the four elements council. The first, a rough, old looking gray dragon, craned his neck down towards Celestia and scrutinized her with a huge, bright yellow, slitted eye before adopting a smile. “Little Tia, it’s been a (cough) thousand years, and you (cough) don’t look like you’ve aged a day,” the dragon said, a rattling cough interrupting every few words. “If I weren’t (cough) five thousand years your (cough) senior, I’d be envious." “Nonsense, you look wonderful for your age,” Celestia returned with a bright smile of her own. “I dare say, you don’t appear a day over three thousand.” “You’re too (cough) kind,” the dragon said with a large, toothy grin. “Perhaps it’s best served that I do the speaking, Draco,” a sky blue dragon cut in with a look of annoyance splayed across his scaly face. “No one wants to see an old dragon like you cough up a lung.” Celestia furrowed her brow as she looked up towards the very irate looking sky blue dragon, Ultear, if she recalled his name correctly. He was the youngest of the four, having succeeded his master a couple of hundred years prior and gaining his position and title as dragon of the wind. “We aren’t here to exchange pleasantries, Celestia,” Ultear continued. “We’re here to discuss… the creatures you’ve been housing.” “If you simply wished to be a part of dealing with this matter, then why did you not answer our summons!?” Luna interrupted using her royal Canterlot voice, as she stepped onto the balcony and stood beside Celestia. Ultear looked down his long nose at Luna, regarding her with disdain. “We are the four elements council. We answer to no one, especially ponies that may need reminding of their place in this world.” “Are you threatening me?” Luna challenged, took a confident step forward. “Perhaps it is thou who needs to learn thy place!” Ultear smirked as the wind began to pick up around him with enough force to tear away pieces of tile off nearby rooftops. Looking off into the distance, Celestia could make out the citizens of Canterlot scampering about looking for shelter as debris was blown around from the violent gust Ultear was creating. Luna glared defiantly, igniting her own horn in response. However, before Celestia could begin to defuse the situation, a clawed hand wrapped around Ultear’s throat. “That’s enough!” Draco roared, as he slammed Ultear to the ground with enough force to shake the very foundation on which they stood. Everything unfortunate enough to be underneath Ultear’s body had simply been crushed. Ultear glared at Draco from his pinned position. “Listen here hatchling,” Draco hissed, losing his apparent cough. “You may be of the council of four, but never trample on what those who have come before you have built. We aren’t here to flex our might or start meaningless squabbles, is that clear?” “Crystal,” Ultear spat through gritted teeth. “Good, now do try and behave yourself,” Draco said before releasing his grip on Ultear’s throat, allowing the dragon to rise back to his feet and silently stew in his own anger. “This is the problem with younger dragons,” an aquamarine dragoness with deep purple eyes commented with disdain. “He reminds me of you, Pythius, in your youth at least,” she said. “So quick to start a fight.” “I won’t argue that, Skyla” Pythius returned. He was colored a deep ruby red with a pair of eyes possessed of a brilliant shade of gold. “I too was a proud, arrogant fool back then.” Celestia cleared her throat in order to call attention back to herself. “Not that your presence is not warranted…” Skyla chuckled. “Our arrival may be warranted but it’s not welcomed. But, to be fair, that’s fine, we have never quite seen eye to eye with one another after all. Even so, we will not simply stand idly by and allow you to make decisions that could potentially affect this world’s entire existence.” “What do you plan to do?” Luna asked in a steely tone and felt as though a fight could ensue over the humans. “Calm yourself (cough), Princess,” Draco said with a weary smile. “As I’ve said, we didn’t come here (cough) to start a fight. We’re merely here to (cough) ascertain whether or (cough) not these…humans pose any threat…” Luna cut off Draco. “The only threat these humans pose is against our stagnant way of life. There’s much to be learned from them.” “We’re sure there is. Alternatively, there can be much to be feared as well,” Pythius argued. “We believe you maybe too emotionally involved with them to see that, if your acting as a mother hen for these beings is any indication.” Luna grit her teeth, while Celestia merely sighed. “What is it you wish from us to ease your apprehension?” Celestia asked curiously. “We only wish to meet with them,” Skyla answered. “We’ll make our own decision regarding them after such.” “Excuse me, but what decisions do you believe you will be making?” Luna barked. “The humans arrived on our soil; they are under our jurisdiction, not yours. Regardless of what you may find, they will not suffer any form of retribution by your claws.” “It’s true the creatures may have arrived on your land, but they are not of this world, correct?” Ultear piped in, having finally regained his composure. “That means that they are not protected by your laws, and we’ll handle them as we see fit.” “That would have been the case, had I not taken precautions beforehoof,” Celestia countered. “The humans have already been integrated into our legal system through a new form of visa that I’ve created, put into effect immediately. Furthermore, seeing as there are only two of them, I felt it appropriate to place them under the protection of the species restoration act. I’m sure you are aware that its protection extends beyond the borders of Equestria.” ‘Damn harlot,’ Ultear thought with venom, but he was careful not to show his anger on his face. “That was very benevolent of you, oh wise Equestrian ruler,” Ultear spoke with sarcasm so thick that it was nearly palpable. Draco chose that moment to erupt into laughter. “Lighten up hatchling,” he said as he patted Ultear on the back. “If anything, little Tia should be (cough) praised for being so swift to cover any (cough) technicalities that could infringe on her (cough) authority over the humans.” “I did what I did in order to protect both Mr. Keon and Mr. Chris, nothing more,” Celestia explained. “This is new territory for us all; I simply aim to deal with it to the best of my abilities.” “You’re doing quite well, and despite Ultear’s lack of tact, it was never our intent to give the impression that we are here to harm the humans if we do not like what we find,” Pythius affirmed. “As for what Skyla meant by our decision, that was in regards to dragon laws that will need to be written regarding the humans,” Pythius explained. “I’m sure you’re aware that most dragons don’t typically follow the rules set by any country, even if they take residence in said country. However, unlike your laws, they will abide by dragon law.” “I see,” Celestia stated. “Very well, you have my permission to speak with our guest. But take heed, if I sense anything afoul, I will act swiftly and accordingly,” Celestia warned, each dragon realizing the heat on their backs from the sun had become noticeably hotter with her words. Elsewhere “So, what do you think that noise was?” Chris asked, as he and Twilight briskly made their way down a corridor in search of the disturbance. “I can’t be sure, but it had to have come from outside of the castle,” Twilight said before she noticed both Keon and Rarity running past at an adjacent corridor ahead of them. “Rarity, Keon!” she shouted to catch their attention before they could round the corner. Keon and Rarity came to a stop upon hearing their names called and spotted Twilight and Chris running to catch up with them. “Welcome back to the world of the living,” Chris greeted his now, thankfully, sober friend. “I thought you’d be moaning over a toilet all day once you woke up,” he finished, as he noticed the alligator draped over Keon’s shoulder and gave it an odd stare. “I’m not that much of a pansy,” Keon said with a grin. “And don’t bother asking about my new fashion accessory,” he said while jabbing a thumb at Gummy. “But anyway, I guess you two came to see the dragons too then?” “Dragons?” Twilight echoed, “That’s what made that loud crash?” “Yes, Twilight, and four adults no less,” Rarity answered. “I insisted to Keon that we shouldn’t go out and see them; however, despite my pleas, he’s determined to do so.” “You actually saw them?” Chris said, shaking Keon’s shoulders in excitement. “What’d they look like, how big were they?” “Dude, they were the biggest fucking things I ever seen,” Keon said, as he stretched his arms out to use as a piss-poor visual aid. “I just about shat myself seeing them fly in.” “If dragons have come, it can’t be taken lightly,” Twilight cut in, looking rather perturbed. “Perhaps we should wait until either of the princesses deems it safe for you two to meet with them.” Rarity dramatically placed a hoof to her forehead. “Thank Celestia somepony’s on my side. For a moment I thought I was actually going to have to meet those ruffians.” “Why wouldn’t it be safe?” Chris asked. “They’re smart, right?” Twilight looked somewhat nervous. “We may be taking your arrival here in stride, but we can’t say the same for everypony else,” she said. “It’s entirely possible that those dragons out there would rather you not be here and wish to do you harm.” “Twilight, Darling, surely you don’t believe it could be something that extreme,” Rarity reasoned. “I don’t know,” Twilight admitted. “It’s really rare for dragons to get involved in any pony related matters. And you mentioned there were four of them, right?” Rarity simply nodded her head. “That means it’s more than likely the four elements council that arrived here.” “Four elements council?” Keon echoed. “So, who the hell are they?” “They are exceptionally powerful dragons and, as their name suggests, each represents one of the four elements. In essence these four are the overseers of all dragons,” Twilight explained. “Together, they’re responsible for writing dragon law, or what some dragons call dragon code. It’s essentially a set of rules that dragons will follow without fail.” “I guess it can’t be helped then?” Chris said, just as a sphere of blue magic appeared before them and popped, revealing Luna. “Princess Luna?” Twilight started. “What’s going on? Why are there dragons here? Have they come to cause trouble?” “Calm yourself, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna tried to pacify the anxious mare. “Neither my sister nor I believe they are here to cause any trouble, for they merely wish to have an audience with our guest,” Luna explained as she turned her attention to Chris and Keon, both of them beaming like kids on a field trip. “Is it safe to assume that neither of you object to this meeting?” “Of course they don’t object,” Rarity answered. “For whatever reason they were more than adamant about meeting them…” Rarity was suddenly cut off by a bright camera flash. “Got it!” a tan pony wearing a fedora with a press sign stuck in it shouted with a triumphant grin. Luna glared at him, prompting the pony to turn on his hooves and flee with his tail tucked between his legs. “I thought the guards would have cleared out all of the journalist by now,” she muttered. “You have better have gotten my good side!” Rarity called after him. “Did I miss something?” Keon asked with an expression blank enough to rival Gummy’s, as he watched the pony disappear around the corner. “The cat's out of the bag,” Chris answered. “It’s known all over that there’s a couple of aliens staying in this castle now,” he finished before stretching out his hand towards Twilight. Twilight stared at his hand awkwardly before she realized what he wanted. “Oh,…right,” she said, as she made to retrieve the newspaper from her saddlebag and floated it to Chris. Chris grabbed the paper and handed it off to Keon. “Have a look for yourself.” Keon stared at the headline of the top story on the front page, the picture being of him standing at the podium when he’d given his speech of sorts to kick off the party. ‘Breaking News: Interdimensional Species arrives in Equestria!’ he read in his mind. ‘Last evening Princess Celestia made it public knowledge of the interdimensional species known as homo sapiens, or simply put human, discovered on the palace grounds of Canterlot. Anonymous sources tell us that humans are an omnivorous species of exceptional intellect, originating from a world void of any magic. Although their world is known to lack magic, their technology is said to be vastly superior to that of our own. As of now, there are currently two humans under Princess Celestia's and Princess Luna’s care, both confirmed as male. The means of which these beings have come to our world is still unclear, and if more humans are on the way remains to be seen. Stay tuned for further details as they emer¬…’ Keon trailed off from the article as he took note of another column labeled “Humans bring new dance” beneath it. “Man, I must have been drunk out of my mind last night,” Keon noted, as he stared at the picture of him and Pinkie before erupting into laughter. “I can’t believe I taught you ponies how to grind, I’m a pioneer, baby!” Chris snatched the paper from Keon, rolled it up and popped him upside the head with it. “For once in your life try to be a little serious, I mean, did you even read the front column?” “Yeah, I did, and why are you so pissy? So, I taught some of the locals how to dance, big deal, it’s nothing to bitch about,” Keon complained as he massaged the top of his head. “Oh, and I may have gotten high with Pinkie, but that’s it for stupid stuff I’ve done, unless you count Spike getting into my porn stash.” Chris could only shake his head for a response. “Gentlemen, time waits for no pony,” Luna interrupted. “Sorry, lead the way,” Chris said, as he, Keon, Twilight and Rarity made to follow after her.