At this point, I had to take a break. The next part of my story brought up a lot of painful memories that I would have liked to leave forgotten. But I knew that if I wanted to stay with Fluttershy, she needed to know it all.
“I-I’m sorry Fluttershy. I need to rest for a minute. Could you make us some tea?”
“Of course White Cloud.” She looked a little puzzled at the sudden stop, but she got up and headed into the kitchen. When she had left the room, I closed my eyes and tried to think of how I was going to explain the next part. I started shaking as I recalled the events, wanting so desperately to not speak of them. But it had to be done. Fluttershy soon returned with two cups of tea and sat back down, as I continued on.
“This next part of my story is very difficult to talk about, but I hope you will understand. We are going to jump ahead about a year from where I left off.”
……
I had been working with Mr. Greenhooves for a year now and things were going so well for me. I had started to help him out in Ponyville with all the gardens and flowerbeds around the town. I was so happy that I had finally found my true calling. I enjoyed being out under the sun, tending all the plants and flowers, making them grow so big and beautiful. I was so proud of my work, and Mr. Greenhooves was equally impressed.
“Son, I have never seen more beautiful flowers in all of Equestria. Why, I don’t think I could it better myself!” I smiled at this compliment, so proud of all the hard work I had put in. We continued to work together until one day Mr. Greenhooves told me something that came as a complete shock to me.
“White Cloud, I am so proud of the work you have done. This past year, it has been my pride and joy to teach you everything that I know. Now, I have some news for you. I have been offered a very prestigious position in Canterlot, and I have accepted the position. You are looking at the new Canterlot gardens caretaker!” He had the biggest smile I have ever seen, and it looked like he might just burst into a dance.
“Wow! Congratulations Mr. Greenhooves! If anyone deserves that honor, it would be you!”
“Thank you son, thank you. But this does leave me in a bit of a bind. Who is going to take over for me here in Ponyville?” He tapped a hoof against his chin as he chewed on the stalk of wheat he always had in his mouth and stared off into the distance. My heart started pounding faster and faster as time continued to roll by. I was hoping he had me in mind, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Finally, after what seemed like ages, he spoke again.
“What about you White Cloud? Would you like to take over as the new Ponyville gardener?” I didn’t know what to say! I was so excited I could just burst with joy! Me! He wants me to be his replacement!
“Mr. Greenhooves! I-I don’t know what to say! Of course! It would be my honor to become the new gardener of Ponyville!”
“Then it’s settled my boy! I’m off in a couple of days to Canterlot to take over my new position, but your job starts now White Cloud! Congratulations!” I was overjoyed! Never, in all my dreams, had I ever imagined being the head gardener of an entire town! It was more than I could have ever hoped for, and it made me the happiest pony in all of Equestria! But that happiness was to be short lived, as my life was about to be turned completely upside down.
……
It had been about two months since Mr. Greenhooves had left Ponyville to head to Canterlot and his new job. I had finally settled into a daily rhythm of tending and planting in Ponyville. I had no idea of the amount of work that Mr. Greenhooves put in to making everything look beautiful. But even though it was very hard work, I loved every minute of it. The smell of freshly dug dirt mixing with the intoxicating aroma of the flowers was better than anything I could have ever imagined. But then I was hit by something I had never imagined. It was one evening after I had gotten home from a very good day of planting some new flowers that I had just grown in my greenhouse. I was relaxing by my fireplace with a book and my evening pipe, when I heard a knock on the door. I was puzzled by this since I rarely got any visitors with living outside Ponyville in the country. I put down my book, got up, and trotted over to the door, trying to think who might be visiting me at this hour. I was not prepared for who was standing at my door. It was my sister, Golden Mane! She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but I was too stunned to say anything.
“Hello brother.” She said with a quivering voice. “It has been a while.”
I was finally able to squeak out a “Hello.” as my mind tried to wrap itself around what I was seeing. We continued to stand there for several minutes until Golden finally spoke and broke the silence.
“C-can I come in?” Finally my mind cleared itself and I responded with a “Yes! Of course! Please!” I stepped away from the doorway and motioned for her to come in, quickly shutting the door behind her. I led her to one of the chairs by the fire and then sat across from her. She was shaking and tears began to roll down her cheeks.
“Oh White Cloud, I have missed you so much. When we found out that you had run away, father and mother were furious. They sent out search parties to look for you, but you were nowhere to be found. We were so heartbroken. We had always looked up to you White Cloud, since you were the oldest. You took care of us when mother and father were too busy with their affairs, so when you left it felt like you had abandoned us, like you didn’t care about us.” She stopped talking as she began to cry, staring at the floor. I didn’t know what to tell her. This was my sister. How could I explain to her everything that I had been feeling on the days leading up to my leaving our home? I got up and trotted over to her, putting my hoof around her shoulders.
“I’m so sorry Golden. I never realized that I would be missed that much. I felt like I didn’t belong, that no one loved me. And that is why I left. I needed to find my place in this world, and I knew I couldn’t do that in Canterlot. I’m so sorry.” She began to slowly stop crying, but her body still shook. I grabbed a blanket and put it around her shoulders as I trotted back to my seat. I had one burning question that I needed to ask, and I felt this was as good a time as any.
“How were you able to find me?” It took her a moment to get to a place where she could respond.
“After mother and father gave up trying to find you, I started where they left off. I knew you still had to be out there, and I wasn’t about to give up hope. So I started traveling all over Equestria, going from town to town, asking everypony I met if they had seen you. I heard rumors of a new gardener in Ponyville, and I hoped that it might be you they were talking about. When I finally got here, I asked a few ponies and they all seemed to recognize my description of you. They told me where your house was, and I headed over here as quickly as I could. It took me so long to find you, and I am happy to have finally come to the end of my search. But, while I was gone, something happened. Oh White Cloud!” At this she began to weep again. I quickly got up and went over to comfort her. But this time, she would not stop crying. Through the sobs, I was able to pick out, “Why weren’t you there?” and “He’s gone.”
“Who’s gone?” I asked?
“Oh, White Cloud. When you left, it was so hard on father. He was devastated when he had learned the news that you had left, and he fell very sick. That was part of the reason I began to look for you. I thought that maybe if I found you and brought you back, that father might get better. But, after so long, and me being unable to find you, father…father passed away. The grief was too much for him to bear, and he just, gave up on life. White Cloud! Why did you have to leave? Why?” She began to get frantic and started hitting me with her hooves, yelling over and over “Why did you leave us? Why?” I tried my best to grab her flailing legs and try to calm her down. When I was finally able to grab her, I just hugged her as tightly as I could. She kept beating my back as she continued to whisper “Why White Cloud?” I could feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes as the news finally sunk in. My father was dead. And it was my fault. Why did I have to run away? Maybe if I had stayed then this wouldn’t have happened. Golden Mane finally stopped hitting me and just laid against my chest, weeping. I continued to hold her until she finally calmed back down. She looked up at me and said,
“White Cloud, we need you back. The family needs you back. Mother is in a deep depression and is unable to take care of the rest of the children. We need you White Cloud. I can’t do this on my own, I’m not strong enough.” I stepped away and trotted over to a window and stared into the night sky. I had to think about this. I was so happy here. I had finally found a place that accepted me and made me happy. I had a good life here. But how could I abandon my family at a time like this? With my father gone and my mother grief stricken, I couldn’t just leave them for a second time.
“I have to go back.” I quietly whispered to myself. “I have to try and right what I did.” I turned from the window and looked at my sister. “Ok. I will go back. You need me, and I can’t abandon my family when they need me the most. Give me a few minutes to pack some things and we can be on our way.” Golden Mane smiled as she got up and came over to me.
“Thank you, White Cloud. Thank you.” I quickly gathered some things together, put my saddle bags on my back, and we headed towards Canterlot. I was sad to be leaving this life behind, but I hoped that I would return someday, though I had no idea when that day would come. It would be sometime before I made my way back to Ponyville, and I would return a very different pony.