//------------------------------// // Twilight and Princess Stuff // Story: Ponies Explaining Ponies // by Sleipnirs Foal //------------------------------// Twilight and Princess Stuff “So how are you holding up Pinkie?” “Oh, I'm good.” The earth pony smiled. “Except for being under house arrest. And even that wouldn't be too bad, but the Cakes are on vacation, and I've kinda run out of food, so I've just been eating bags of sugar for the past week. Normally I wouldn't mind that, but I think my teeth are starting to melt. Seriously, they've gotten all mushy, kinda like gumdrops, but tooth-flavored gumdrops. Do they even make tooth-flavored gumdrops? I don't think they'd taste very good, I'd still eat them though-” Twilight shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth to stop the mare's rambling (something she instantly regretted considering pony's statement). “That's what I wanted to talk to you about.” The unicorn removed her hoof, allowing Pinkie to say, “You wanted to talk about tooth-flavored gumdrops? That's really weird Twi.” “No Pinkie.” The purple mare rolled here eyes. “I wanted to discuss your house arrest. I talked to Princess Celestia, and because of your past services to Equestria she's agreed to overturn the courts ruling. As long as you Pinkie promise to never point your party cannon, or any other party-based artillery, at any living thing (except during combat situations) you're free to go.” Pinkie wrapped her friend in a crushing hug. “Oh, thank you! Thank you!” After regaining her breath Twilight said, “How about we celebrate by getting some lunch. We can go to the dentist's office afterwards.” “Okay, that sounds like fun! But can you do me another favor first?” Twilight smiled and answered, “Sure Pinkie.” “Can you answer a question for the fans before we go?” The unicorn's smile faded slightly. Her friends had told her about the confectioner's odd request, and wasn't particularly surprised that it was her turn now. Realizing that it was pointless to argue, she nodded her assent. Besides, she'd never turn down an opportunity to give a good lecture. Pinkie's ever present smile grew wider as she vibrated with excitement. “Yay! Okay, you sit here and face the audience.” Taking a chair and facing the indicated wall, Twilight arched her back and struck her best academician pose. Once she was ready, Pinkie continued, “Okay, so do you have wings? Are you a princess?” “Uh, yeah.” Twilight ruffled her new appendages and gave the pink pony a curious look. “You were there when it happened remember? You all though you'd killed me with your friendship beam. You girls were trying to destroy any evidence of the crime when I got back. The library still smells like kerosene you know.” The earth pony chuckled apologetically while here eyes darted back and forth. “It's what our cutie marks were telling us?” Twilight just sighed and shook her head, she'd be a hypocrite to judge ponies for what they did in a panic. Pinkie speedily recovered form her embarrassment and continued the interview. “Well, now that you're a princess, and an alicorn, you can tell us all about alicorn princesses!” “Okay, I'll try.” “First question! Are you immortal now? Are you gonna continue on unchanged while you're friends slowly wither and die, ravaged by the cruel hand of time?” Twilight's lip quivered as her eyes misted up slightly, something crossed between a squeak and a sob escaped her lips. After taking a moment to compose herself, she answered, “Um, I don't know. There isn't enough information to answer that yet.” Pinkie tilted her head in a questioning manner. “I asked Princess Celestia the same thing, and even she's not sure what my full powers will bring. She said all she knows for sure is that I'm destined for great things, but what those things are are beyond her sight.” “Hmm, neat.” The party mare replied. “Next question: Is Princess Cadence immortal?” “No. Well, I don't think so. She's the same age as my brother, and grew up the same way a normal pony does. Celestia and Luna like to be mysterious about their past, but I'd assume ponies with such a long lifespan would mature differently than regular ponies. Kinda like how Spike is still a baby, despite being a teenager in pony years.” “Was she turned into an alicorn like you were?” “As far as I know she was born as a trans-tribal unicorn.” Pinkie gave her friend a blank stare. “Trans-tribalism is when a pony is born with the qualities of more than one tribe. Most cases involve a foal born with a vestigial horn or wings, which the doctors tend to remove because they are non-functioning. Cadence is a rare case in which both the horn and wings were fully developed. Unfortunately, this means her inherent magic is spread thin between two different appendages. Then again, that's just my assumption, I don't have enough information to give a concrete answer.” Nodding, the earth pony asked another question, “So, as princess, do you get to have a harem?” Twilight jolted in shock. “W-what?” “A harem. Isn't that something royalty gets? Ooh! If you do get one, can I be the eunuch?!” “Huh-wuh?” “That's the pony in charge of the harem right? I want that job!” “Pinkie, do you even know what a harem or eunuchs are?” “It's like a hoofball team, right?” Twilight brought her hoof to her face. Motioning for the pink pony to come closer she whispered something into her ear. Pinkie's eyes grew wider, when Twilight was finished speaking she let out an, “Oooh... “I don't think I want to be a eunuch anymore.” “I didn't think you would.” “I'll totally still be part of your harem though!”