//------------------------------//
// LET'S GO F*CK UP PONYVILLE! 
// Story: EXPLOSIONS??? 
// by Opticlaudimix 
//------------------------------//

	After the bright white light fleeted from everypony's eyes, the crowd began to cheer wildly at the ginormous mushroom cloud explosion that had just occurred.

Rainbow's jaw dropped. "What... the... buck... THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Weee! That was so cool!" Pinkie laughed.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I'm just surprised that the explosion didn't kill us, or harm us at all for that matter."

The whole town stared in disbelief at the giant smoldering crater and the remains of Vinyl and Octavia's home. Yet oddly enough, the digistructing station still remained behind, seemingly unscratched by the explosion. The device beeped and started to create a digital outline of something excessively large.

Rarity seemed like she was going to explode with excitement. "Ohhhh, the drama! Whatever is this surprise going to be?"

Applejack squinted as she tried to make out the shape. "I dunno, but sure it as heck better not be another one of those darn stallion parts... oh fer' cryin' out loud! Is it?"

Twilight shook her head. "Don't worry AJ, by the looks of it, the diameter doesn't look right in proportion to the length of an erect penis, and the bulge at the tip is much too sharp, sort of like a harpoon. If this was a penis, it definitely isn't going to look right..."

She looked around and noticed the shocked expressions her friends wore.

Twilight blushed. "Oh uh... books, about… don't ask."

Fluttershy placed a hoof on her back. "Twilight, I'm worried about you."

The blue outline slowly began to fade away as the shape glowed brightly; then the giant orange dragon appeared.

"Hey, what the heck? Why did the dragon come outta that thing? Wasn't he always here with us?" Rainbow Dash looked around in confusion.

The dragon shrugged. "I dunno, perhaps Mr. Torgue brought us all back to life at separate times after the explosion. By the way, where are all the buildings? And why is the sky all fuzzy?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Twilight looked around as well. "Oh. Whoa."

The town now looked like it was from a dream; buildings were missing, details looked fuzzy, and there wasn't any lighting or shadows to anything. It was almost as if Ponyville was turned into a stage for a video game.

Suddenly, Vinyl and Octavia appeared from the beacon.

"OOF! Ow, my face... it hurts. Man, how the hay am I even alive?" As Vinyl got up, she blinked a few times before feeling her face only to realize it was missing something. "Huh? What the... hey! What happened to my shades?! What the buck just happened???" Vinyl frantically searched the ground around her.

Octavia took a quick glance around. "It would appear that Mr. Torgue destroyed the entire town and killed all of us, then reanimated everything. I think."

Twilight nodded. "Probably explains why none of us felt anything... wait, why was the crowd here first?"

A disembodied voice emanated from seemingly everywhere. "WELCOME TO PURGATORY. JUST KIDDING. F*CK RELIGION! YOU'RE ALL IN THE TORGUE DATABANKS! THAT EXPLOSION WAS ACTUALLY A WEIRD AS HELL THINGY-MA-BOBBER THAT TURNS EVERYTHING IT HITS INTO DATA FOR DIGISTRUCTING BEACONS TO INSTANTLY SCAN. SO NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL DATA, HOW DO YOU FEEL? OH WAIT, SH*T I NEED TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. I'M RUNNING THIS 3D MODELING PROGRAM AND I DECIDED TO PLACE THE CROWD BEFORE THE FAT ASS DRAGON AND THE LESBIANS."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Yer' runnin' a wut now?"

"I think that just means he's basically like a god of this place," Pinkie answered.

"SO REMEMBER HOW I SAID I WOULD MAKE YOU ALL BADASSES? WELL, HERE'S A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO FIGHT JUST FOR THE SH*TS AND GIGGLES! PAIN IS TURNED OFF AND RESPAWNS ARE INFINITE. THIS IS ALL FOR FUN! HAVE AT IT!!!"

"Oh! Oh! Wait, I have a question! Where are you right now?" Pinkie asked.

"IN THE REAL WORLD EATING A SANDWICH WHILE REMODELING PONYVILLE. IN THE MEANTIME, GO KILL YOURSELVES WHILE I F*CK AROUND WITH YOUR TOWN. DON'T WORRY, EVERYTHING WILL STILL LOOK MORE OR LESS SIMILAR TO WHAT IT USED TO BE, AND BY THAT I MEAN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AND OR SO F*CKED UP THAT IT LOOKS COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE."

Twilight's eyes widened. "WAIT WHAT? Mr. Torgue, if you're going to trap us all in here, then I won't stand for Ponyville being turned into some barbaric deformity of what it used to be! And you better leave the library alone!!!"

The rest of Ponyville seemed to agree and protested as well.

"We're not going to go kill each other just for fun! How do we know you're not going to just screw us over in the end?"

"Yeah! Get us out of here! I don't wanna be some nonexistent piece of data!"

"A massacre isn't 'badass'! It's just brutal!"

"Besides! We don't want you changing our hometown!"

"OKAY FINE! BE THAT WAY! BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU ALL GO UNTIL I PUT TORGUE F*CKING EVERYWHERE IN PONYVILLE!"

Rainbow flew up high into the sky. "Buzz off Torgue! What the hay makes you think you're gonna keep us all in here while you mess everything up?"

"THE FACT I CAN DO SH*T LIKE THIS!"

Suddenly, Iron Will fell from the sky out of nowhere and hit the ground at full speed, dying instantly.

The crowd gasped in horror; Iron Will didn't even reanimate afterwards.

Discord grimaced. "Ooooooh. That's just mean, don't you think?"

Rarity gasped. "Somepony needs to stop that monster!"

"I FIND IT FUNNY HOW YOU ALL HAD NO PROBLEM RUNNING AROUND WITH GUNS BLOWING SH*T UP, BUT WHEN I GIVE YOU ALL A BADASS OPPORTUNITY TO GO KILL EACH OTHER FOR NO REASON, YOU ALL GO AND REJECT IT! WHAT THE F*CK IS UP WITH THAT?"

"You know what the problem is? The fact that you're going to mess up our town!" shouted Rainbow.

"WELL IF YOU ALL AREN'T GOING TO FIGHT EACH OTHER, IMMA FORCE YOU ALL TO DO SO ANYWAYS! GET READY FOR SOME F*CKING NINJA PENGUINS!!!"

Seemingly out of nowhere, giant ice shards erupted out of the ground at various different areas, each shattering and releasing a group of hooded overweight penguins all armed with various random weapons.

Twilight's horn glowed brightly. "Listen Torgue! We're not going to fight! Even if this isn't reality!" She telekinetically grabbed every single weapon out of each penguins' fins and tossed them all into the crater.

"AWW COME ON! I WANTED TO SEE HOW A PENGUIN COULD EVEN FIGHT WITH A GUITAR!"

An idea suddenly struck Twilight. "Pinkie! Can you somehow escape from here and go back into reality? Maybe then you could stop Mr. Torgue and get us all out of here!" She quickly looked around and failed to spot the pink pony anywhere. "Pinkie? Where are you?"

A familiar chipper voice came from the sky. "Hiya Mr. Torgue! Oh, is that like a computer in the future? Wowww, it looks soooo cool!"

"EYUP! FLOATING SCREENS ARE THE F*CKING SH*T. WAIT A MINUTE, HOLY D*CKBALLS HOW IN THE NAME OF SWEET BABY JESUS DID YOU F*CKING GET OUT HERE?!?!"

"Hey what does this floating button do?"

A click was heard as every single digistruct station in the virtual Ponyville beeped once.

"HEY! WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU JUST PRESS?"

"I dunno! Weren't you looking?"

"DAMNIT PINKIE GET THE F*CK BACK INTO THE DATABANKS."

"Oof!" Pinke suddenly came out of one of the digistruct stations. "Twilight! We HAVE to hurry, cuz I set the beacons to be able to take us back into the real world! Hurryhurryhurry!"

"Alright everypony, head for the scanners!" shouted Twilight.

The civilians of Ponyville immediately rushed, flew, and teleported towards the nearest racecar striped digistruct station they could find.

"OH NO YOU DON'T! KUNG FU CAMELS AWAYYYY!!!"

Every virtual digistruct station in the town began spawning multiple gruff looking camels, all with waistbands on their heads and hooves raised to fight.

Rainbow Dashed dived into one of the groups in front of the crater. "I'll take care of these guys! Just get to the beacon!"

Twilight telekinetically shoved away as many camels and penguins as she could from other nearby beacons. "Hurry! Even if only one of us gets through, it will still help stop Mr. Torgue!"

"Y'all heard her! Charge!!!" Applejack reared up before charging straight into the fray.

"GOD F*CKING DAMNIT! F*CK IT, I'M JUST GONNA COPY PASTE AS MUCH SH*T AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE INTO YOUR WAY!"

As the ponies tried to battle the camels and shove the penguins out of the way, random objects seemed to appear from nowhere; food and furniture were falling from the sky, the ground erupted in geometrically impossible shapes, and all the buildings in virtual Ponyville began to break apart and float in various random positions. The lighting had also changed, everything seemed to glow extremely bright and colors became darker in general.

Rainbow flew just out of the reach of a falling cactus. "Gah! What the hay is going on right now???"

"What in tarnation? Ah' can barely see nothin' no more!" Applejack had lowered her stetson and was desperately trying to make out the ever changing landscape around her.

"BUFFERING??? OH SON OF A SODOMIZED MENTALLY F*CKING DISABLED HIPPOPOTAMUS!"

"I don't think we can get to the beacons anymore like this!" Twilight yelped as a flying refrigerator brushed her tail. "Discord! Can you stop any of this?"

Discord snapped his fingers multiple times. "Nope! Too random. Eh, whatever." He teleported up into the air and casually observed the utterly ridiculous scene below.

"Uhh, is there anything I should do? I'm afraid I might squish somepony if I move."

Pinkie climbed out of the dragon's nose. "You should grab as many of the camels as you can and throw them really really far away!

"HOLY SH*T THE SCREENS JUST FROZE. WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON IN THERE? I SWEAR IF THIS PROGRAM CRASHES AGAIN I'M GOING TO FLIP A F*CKING HOUSE!!!"

"Ugh, you know what? Buck this!" Rainbow flew up into the air, looking for the nearest digistruct station and diving to it. "I'm going to get the heck outta here and stop Torgue so the rest of you can get out!"

"Rainbow, wait! Tell me where you are so I can teleport to you!" shouted Twilight.

"We don't have the time!" With a push of a button and a quick scan, Rainbow disintegrated into millions of tiny blue blocks and faded away.





Rainbow reappeared outside Vinyl's house, flopping onto the ground that was now devoid of the giant stage.

"Alright Mr. Torgue! You're gonna–" She looked around and realized that nothing looked different aside from the digistruct stations and vending machines everywhere. "Pay for what you did...?"

"HEY RAINBOW, COME INSIDE THE HOUSE! WHOEVER LIVES HERE IS A F*CKING BADASS!"

"Dude, you forgot to tell her that this was all an act."

"THAT TOO, DON'T WORRY THE MIC IS TURNED OFF. ALSO, NOTHING FROZE OR CRASHED SO EVERYTHING'S STILL GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN."

"Come in here Dashie! We're playing Borderlands 2!"

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Wait what? What's going on? I thought you were in the fake world Pinks." She opened the door to find the other three lounging on a couch, each with separate screens floating in front of them.

Mr. Torgue threw out his arms in a welcoming gesture. "HOW DID YOU LIKE MY ACT? THIS WAS ALL PART OF THE ASSERTIVENESS SHOW, AND I GOTTA SAY, YOU LITTLE PONIES ARE F*CKING BADASS! YOU ALL EVEN STOOD UP TO BIG OL' NASTY TORGUE EVEN THOUGH I COULD'VE EASILY JUST KILLED ALL OF YOU WITH THE PUSH OF A BUTTON, BUT I DIDN'T CAUSE I WANTED TO SEE WHETHER OR NOT YOU WERE ALL COMPLETE PUSHOVERS. YOU WEREN'T! GOOD F*CKING JOB!!!"

"Crud! Pinkie, throw out a turret, now! I'm going to go backstab this idiot." Iron Will frantically pushed the buttons on his controller.

"Ack! It's on cooldown right now!"

Mr. Torgue leaned over and blocked Iron Will's screen. "HEY! WOULD YOU TWO F*CKING PAUSE THE DAMN GAME AND PAY ATTENTION TO RAINBOW DASH? OR AT LEAST LOOK AT MY SCREEN SO YOU CAN SEE BADASS SH*T HAPPEN."

"Stop spitting in Iron Will's face!"

"So let me get this straight, this was all an act just so you can make Ponyville assertive or something?" asked Rainbow.

"PRETTY MUCH." Mr. Torgue went back to tapping his screen more. HEY, YOU ALL GOTTA CHECK OUT WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW. THERE'S THIS WEIRD-ASS BUG PONY THING BITING THE ASS OF A RETARDED CAMEL. I DUNNO WHAT KIND OF WACKY MAGIC THIS F*CKER'S DOING, BUT THAT PONY LOVES ASS!" Mr. Torgue tapped the screen and zoomed in on a lone changeling amidst the utter chaos.

"Whoawhoawhoa what???" Pinkie stretched her head to the front of the screen. "Oh no. Nononononono this isn't good." If there was a changeling in Ponyville, then that means Chrysalis must have spies here, and if there was one changeling, then there's gotta be more spying on us, and if there are more spying on us, Chrysalis must know that Ponyville is COMPLETELY EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND THAT–"

Mr. Torgue placed a hand on Pinkie's mouth. "PINKIE, SHUT UP THE HELL UP. RAINBOW, TELL ME WITH EXTREMELY PRECISE DETAIL WHAT A CHANGELING IS."

Rainbow stared at him with a blank expression. "Uhh, they're basically weird alien bug pony things that can disguise themselves as other ponies and feed off love that was supposed to go to who they were copying." She gestured to the screen. "You should probably turn everything back to normal already..."

"YOU DO REALIZE THAT EVERYBODY'S JUST GOING TO ATTACK ME ON SIGHT WHEN THEY GET BACK RIGHT? THE POINT OF ALL THE CHAOTIC SH*T GOING ON RIGHT NOW IS SO THAT I GET A STEADY TRAFFIC FLOW. WATCH, ANOTHER PONY'S GOING TO MAKE IT ANY SECOND NOW."

"There's no time for this though Torgy! We might get invaded any second now because–"

"WAIT, WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?"

Just then the sound of glass shattering could be heard not too far away.

Iron Will's eyes went wide. "That doesn't sound good."

"NO SH*T DUMBF*CK." Mr. Torgue minimized his screen and ran outside with his POCKET ROCKET drawn and ready. "HOLY SH*T THERE'S A GRAY PONY WITH DERP EYES IN FRONT OF THE BEACON!"

"Ooh! Did Derpy get back? Hi Derpy!" Pinkie hopped outside as well, only to look up at the sky with horror. "ACK! Guys, there's changelings EVERYWHERE! Ewwww, and they're putting gooey icky slime EVERYWHERE!"

Rainbow immediately flew out of the house. "Sweet Celestia..."

Iron Will ran out and chuckled. "Hey don't worry, we can't die remember?"

Derpy got up and angrily derped her eyes at Mr. Torgue. "I'm going to stop you from messing up the town!"

"QUICK, SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO DERPY WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON WHILE I GO BE A BADASS!" Mr. Torgue ran towards the changelings while deploying his jetpack, flying straight into the swarm. "FOR NARNIA!!!"