//------------------------------// // What we know and love // Story: Equestrian human // by Vinyl Destination //------------------------------// Birds… I could hear birds chirping. It was so peaceful sounding. It’s so much better to wake up to nature than a blaring alarm clock. My groggy mind slowly started to wake up as I started to try and figure things out. I remembered waking up in a castle and going on this wild adventure… was it all a dream? I slowly opened my heavy eyes as I started to wake up and noticed I was in a bed. My eyes slowly looked around as best they could since I hadn’t worked up the will power to sit up. My waking mind had a vague feeling that something wasn’t right. I felt something big and fuzzy in front of me, I was holding on to something fuzzy… oh, it’s just Bon-Bon. I was just about to fall asleep again when my mind woke up and slammed on the brakes. BON-BON!? I let go of her as quick as I could and backed away fast and ended up falling head first off the side of the bed with a loud thud. “I’m still here.” I mumbled to myself… but at the same time I wondered where exactly is “here”? I heard the creaking of the bed and Bon-Bon loudly yawning. She peeked over the side of the bed to look at me “Your finally awake.” She said. I picked myself up and rubbed the back of my head “Yeah… I guess I am.” I took a good look at the room and it clearly wasn’t mine. It looked pretty modern but also had a strange “Old-timey” feeling to it. Plus it wasn’t exactly the most masculine room I had seen but wasn’t too girly either, although it was just girly enough (I should expect as much). “What happened?” I asked, it was the golden question right now. “You fainted from exhaustion.” Bon-Bon said “I took you to the hospital and they said you were fine. They said you were just tired, I guess the whole Everfree thing finally caught up to you at the wrong time.” It was a little embarrassing to think that I just dropped like a fly on the spot like that, but even more so to wake up in a compromising position like that. I know that ponies don’t normally where clothes but thoughts of lesbianism went rushing through my mind… wait does that even count for me? I’m technically a girl but I’m really a guy… could I even call it a thing like that? What exactly do I classify as in the first place? Why am I thinking so hard about it? I decided to push away both gender and identity issues for the moment. “So… why am I here instead of some place like the hospital?” Bon-Bon let out a deep irritated sigh “I would of but you had a death grip on me. No one could get you off. I was also pretty tired too, so I decided to just go to bed instead of carrying you all day.” “Just how long was I out?” She looked over at the clock sitting on a small table next to the bad. I was a little surprised at how she was able to pick it up with only hooves just like a human would with hands. How is that even possible? If I hadn’t figured out how to use magic recently I would have to use my mouth still. On a side note, I should probably start trying to learn how to use hooves… I miss hands. Anyways Bon-Bon read the time for me and apparently we slept for one whole day. I wonder if there is a record for the most hours spent asleep. I’m not entirely sure if a twenty-four hour nap is the world’s longest, but it was the longest I ever spent. Bon-Bon jumped out of bed and stretched some “Well I have to open the shop anyways and I’m hour late. Make yourself at home if you want.” Then Bon-Bon walked off. I was a little stunned actually, not just from the events that took place only moments ago but also with the fact that my little trip to Equestria might not be so temporary after all. I was sure that I’d be home the moment I woke up; after all, I fell asleep and woke up in Equestria. I was sure the opposite would be true. In the very least I thought I’d just teleport home after the episode was over- actually, now that I think about it I did go through two episodes since it was a two- part episode. Darn it if that wasn’t the most misleading way to end that little adventure. I heard a door down stairs shut and was left to my own devices. I figured I should take a look around. I could see a bathroom straight down the hall. I walked over and could hear my own hooves clopping on the wooden floor. From my limited view of upstairs it was modest looking she had a single picture hanging on the wall in the hallway of her store with her standing in front of it. It must have been a picture of when she opened it for the first time. I could see down stairs and into the living room, She had nice furniture but not exactly the best. There was even a nice looking fire place. I got to the bathroom I could see my reflection in the mirror, I looked rough. I had bad bed hair… bed-mane? I used my magic to levitate a brush and started to fix my mane. I impressed myself actually that I managed to fix and style it so easily to how it was before. “Meh, this is coming from a world where hair defies gravity anyways.” I said to no one. “Also, stop talking to yourself. If you do that in public everyone will think you’re crazy- and I’m still doing it!” I decided to eat something thank to the suggestion of my growling stomach, but I quickly ran into a little snag with that plan of action: Stairs. I had four legs now which would mean going down head first and I wasn’t too confident in myself. I decided to go for it anyways, simply because I can’t be stuck upstairs all day, TV dosen’t exist here. I soon realized that would come to hate stairs, Nothing is really as nerve racking as going down a slope head first, especially if you realize that you could slip and seriously screw up. I missed a step maybe only two times and let me tell you, it hurts. Her kitchen was pretty normal looking and I couldn’t help think about how this universe could be so modern in one way and so old in the other. They had DJ turntables but lacked TV. They had record players but no radio- at least as far as I knew. I’m sure there are more differences that I don’t know about. I checked the cabinets and the refrigerator and saw that the kitchen largely consisted of vegetables, which I kind of expected, and flowers- not too sure if they served another purpose, I wonder if there are certain flowers to have only for decoration and others only for eating. Either way I didn’t feel like eating that, although since I’m apparently going to be here for a while it might come to that. After lots of looking and considering I went for some simple toast. Afterwards I headed out to get my bearings of where Bon-Bon’s house was and to get a good look around. I was bored more than anything and confused like nothing else. How did I come here and how do I get back? Was their some special reason or was it some sort of accident? Bon-Bon’s home seemed to be just on the edge of town. The back of her house was a field and I could actually see the Everfree forest from here. We weren’t really as far out as Fluttershy’s house was because her house was at least close to other home’s, Fluttershy’s house was all on its own… maybe it has something to do with how shy that pony is. In any case I decided it would be best to look around. The morning sun shone pleasantly and other ponies were starting to come out and do whatever business they had. I walked through town admiring everything with more patience since I wasn’t leaving like I thought I was. Some pleasant looking houses and shops, simple stands for some pony to sell whatever they had. Ponies walking around with content looks, like nothing was wrong. It was peaceful actually and pretty nice, such a good change actually from where I came from. Rush of people, the stress to get their daily lives together- although at the same time even though I liked this place I still wanted to go back. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever (although that is definably a likely outcome) humans had flaws but no one is perfect, even in this world. For now I’ll just enjoy the peacefulness of this morning to clear my head. Without warning though loud, deep rumbling music started blaring out of nowhere and I actually tripped myself in the sudden shock. I looked around for the sound as well as a few others and saw a home that was dark inside except for the obvious strobe lights. A certain unicorn with a blue, eternally wild mane opened the top window with a big grin on her face “Good morning Ponyville!” I heard of morning people but she was so much more than that. I don’t even think there is a name for what she is. “It’s Monday but don’t let that get you down!” she yelled. “Vinyl Scratch?” I said picking myself up she turned her attention down to me “What are you doing?” I called up to her with her loud music still playing. “Just getting myself pumped up! Put on your game face on the start of new day!” she said “I’m making WAFFLES!” she yelled as loud as she could over her music as if it was the greatest development in history. Under normal circumstances I’m sure somebody like her would’ve gotten arrested years ago for public disturbance. I’m not entirely sure if there even is police in Ponyville. I decided to let Vinyl get back to… whatever it is she’s doing. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Bon-Bon just sat behind the counter of her store looking thoroughly bored. It was 9:13 and she had been waiting nearly two hours with not a single customer having entered. The rush usually didn’t start till school was out and she had a few hour to wait till then. What was the deal? Everypony that had tasted her personally made candy had said it was amazing in one way or another. So why did it seem like she was having fewer customers with each passing day? The holidays and other special celebrations were always something to look forward to with her store in mind but the holidays were far away and nothing special was happening anytime soon. She was so desperate for someone to enter the store that she wouldn’t mind if it was Colgate. She lazily laid her head on the counter. “I got out of bed for this?” she said to herself. With nothing else to do her mind started to wander. She twisted her head so she could look out the windows of her store without ever actually picking up her head “I wonder what Lyra’s doing.” She must be having more fun than her _____________________________________________________________________________________ I let loose a deep heavy sigh as I continued to wander aimlessly. I am so bored, Bon-Bon is working, Vinyl is doing… whatever she does (something DJ related probably) Colgate is probably working too and if not I don’t even know where she lives, and I’m already out of ideas to my mysterious transportation into a universe that’s supposed to be a cartoon. My life is weird. I sat down off to the side leaning against a building. I tried to sit like everyone else does instead of my own way for a few minutes. I just sat in silence while I was thinking of what to do “Nope,” I said after sitting in silence for a little bit. “I’m not feeling it.” It wasn’t uncomfortable in the least since my body was built to be in positions like this but it wasn’t uncomfortable sitting the way I have been either. I heard the sound of metal squeaking next to me and I looked over to see Derpy. She had a mailbag strapped around her and an obvious uniform on. Seeing her like this really made me believe she was a “Mail mare” I still think all these horse puns are hilarious but I guess they don’t really see them as puns. “Hi Lyra,” Derpy said making as good eye contact as she could “You look really bored.” No… really? “Is something wrong?” “Well I don’t have anything to do and I’m a little lost and confused.” I said telling a half-truth. I really didn’t have anything to do and had no idea how to actually get home. Derpy interpreted what I said differently. “Well this is my last delivery for today; you could come over to my house. I have to drop my stuff off but we can still do something afterwards.” She offered. She seemed sincere although she was clumsy and ditzy she really tried. Something told me she didn’t have really many friends that would give her a chance. “Sure, sounds like a plan.” I smiled and picked myself up as she put in the last of her mail and I followed her as she walked in the direction of her home. “Well it’s not really my house. It belongs to my friend Carrot Top but she lets us stay there.” She corrected herself. The wording was odd “Us?” I questioned “Yeah, me and Dinky.” Derpy confirmed “She’s my daughter and she’s really sweet.” I couldn’t actually tell age as well as I could in the human world but Derpy didn’t strike me as being old enough for something like that, she still seemed pretty young herself. “Um, just how old are you?” I asked. “Twenty-five.” She answered simply. She wasn’t exactly old but not young either and if she had a little filly then she would have been even younger when it happened. I guess even in this world you can make mistakes like that, but Derpy didn’t seem put off by it. Instead it seemed to make her happier just mentioning Dinky. We walked through town and out into the more rural looking area talking about this and that. Derpy would tell me things about her job and her daughter. All the interesting and funny mistakes she’s made and stories that where just plain interesting. I guess when you’re as accident prone as she is you live a pretty full life, or at least an interesting life. It was when she started asking me questions that things got complicated. I wasn’t an actual pony- well I was, but I haven’t lived my entire life as one. She asked questions that where really hard to answer and I didn’t to have to lie to her when she was being so open with me. I had to tell half-truths and downright lie, I wasn’t sure if there were any humans in this world or if she would even believe me if I told her the truth. Plus how could I explain the concept of a cartoon to creatures that don’t even know what a TV is? “Well I came from Canterlot and I was born there.” I really hate lying “What made you come here? Canterlot sound wonderful.” Derpy said. “Yeah, it’s big and pretty. Lots of amazing places to go but the ponies there can get pretty snobby and full of themselves.” This was not a lie. The place itself was amazing but a lot of the ponies there are pretty uptight. I told fake parts of a life I never had as a filly. The worst part was that I was so good at the lies I would of believed them if I was Derpy. I tried to put as much truth as possible into my stories so it didn’t feel like I was just spitting in her face. I wanted her to know something about me that was true and not fake. I wanted her to at least know a little about Leon and not all about Lyra. Thankfully we stopped talking as was come upon a certain farm. “Wait a minute.” I said looking at the familiar red barn. “This is Sweet Apple Acres!” I said in a mixture of shock and confusion. “Yep,” Derpy smiled “Carrot Top’s house and farm is next to it.” She said pointing at the big yellow building practically next door to it. I was wondering since the moment I laid my eyes on it in the show why there was a place to grow carrots on a farm dedicated to apples. Now I understood, it was another farm all together. Albeit much smaller but you don’t really need acres of land just for carrots. We went over and saw a light orange Earth pony with a big curly mane of a darker shade of orange and a carrot cutie mark watering carrots. This was definitely the pony Derpy called Carrot Top, that much was obvious. She noticed us as we walked up “Hey Derpy, you’re back early. Nothing much today?” “Nope, just a few letters and not a single package.” Derpy smiled. “That’s a little surprising actually, I know that it’s been two days since the whole Nightmare Moon thing but you’d think the town would be getting more letters or something.” “Nah, I’m sure that plenty of ponies realized there was nothing to worry about.” I spoke up. Carrot Top took notice of me again and apologized for not introducing herself and I told her my “name” as well. It’s still odd having to use a fake name as if it were your real one. Derpy explained that I was going to hang out her for today. “Come on, let’s go inside. It’s pretty bright out her.” “Yeah, the least the Pegasi could do is put up a few clouds.” Carrot Top agreed looking up in the cloudless sky. As we went inside I saw the inside of Carrot’s house I saw that Carrot had things pretty nice. Bon-Bon’s house was nice but Carrot’s was probably better. It was Probably because there were two ponies with jobs instead of one. This reminds me, I need to thank Bon-Bon for taking me in. Maybe get a job myself since I’ll be staying in Equestria for some time. Or just find some way to make some bits. Bon-Bon said herself she doesn’t have a lot of money. I saw some pictures of them on the walls and of what I would assume is their families. I saw a picture of Carrot Top standing next to someone that strangely looked a lot like Carrot Top. I decided not to ask about that one. But I saw a picture of Derpy with two other ponies and I knew one of them “Amethyst Star?” Derpy looked at the picture with me smiling. “Yeah that’s Dinky’s oldest cousin. She and Dinky spend so much time together they’re practically sisters.” So the little filly in front of Derpy is… wait a minute “You’re a Pegasus and your daughter is a unicorn? And Dinky’s cousin is a unicorn too… how?” Derpy looked at me as if it were an odd question or if I was joking. After I didn’t say anything for a while she relented and answered “Well there is plenty of unicorn blood in my family already and Dinky’s dad was also a unicorn” right simple genetics. Recessive traits and dominate traits and all that. Amethyst was probably a full blooded unicorn since Derpy said that there were unicorns in her family. As I spent my time admiring all the different photos left out Carrot Top had come back in the room with a plate of sandwiches and Derpy had got out of her uniform. “It’s already almost noon you two must be hungry” she said putting the plate down on the small table. Now that she mentioned it I was actually pretty hungry. I sat down on the floor next to the table in that still pretty awkward four legged way. I like sitting the other way more but I couldn’t really sit like that without having something behind me or else I’d lose balance and tip over. I used my magic to pick up the sandwich but when I took a bite I realized there was something odd. I could taste and feel something in the sandwich but it wasn’t lettuce… it was grass! I didn’t think it tasted weird, in fact I oddly enough thought it tasted pretty good; it was the fact that I knew what was in my mouth that bothered me. I didn’t spit it out or anything like that because it would be rude so I quietly ate it. The weirdest part of the super vegan sandwich was that I didn’t think it tasted too gross. It still didn’t taste like anything I had before and if it weren’t for what I currently was I would have preferred to have some meat. I soon saw a little grayish purple unicorn I now knew as Dinky come in. “You’re home early.” Carrot Top said. “Miss Cheerilee let us out early since its summer now.” She smiled “You must be pretty happy about that.” I said “Well yeah, but also I’ll miss being in class with Ms. Cheerilee, she’s so nice.” She said with a look as if she were trying to figure out herself if she was happy or not about school being over. Then she gave me a look of confusion “Who are you?” “Oh sorry Dinky,” Derpy apologized “This is my new friend Lyra.” “Hello Ms. Lyra.” She said. “Just Lyra, please.” I gave a nervous smile. I didn’t want to be called Miss anything, because it just reminds me of the awful truth that I’m not a guy anymore. She was so polite too most kids I’ve seen are so rowdy you would have to nail their legs down to keep the still. Derpy must pretty good with her. “Oh! Mom I have to meet up with some friends, were gonna go human hunting!” Dinky said excitedly. Wait, did I hear right? They mentioned humans, they exist here? Sweet! If magic exists and humans exist here then that must mean there must be humans that can use magic. I might have just found a way to get back home! Derpy and Carrot both laughed amusedly and told her to be careful and come back home before dark. “Ok bye!” Dinky said and headed for the door. “Wait! I mean, wait up.” I said trying not to scream. Dinky stopped and turned back to me “Can I come along?” I asked nicely. She smiled “Sure, I’ve never seen an adult want to go on one.” Why not? I wondered what she could have meant by that. “Come on let’s hurry! Snips and Snails are probably already there!” what and odd name but who am I to really complain about names. A lot of ponies here have puns for names; I wonder why none of them pick up on that? Dinky ran off and Derpy stopped me before I could leave “It’s really nice of you to play with Dinky like this,” Play? I thought we were going to find humans. I pushed the thought away and gave a smile “No problem, I want to see a human anyways.” For some reason both Derpy and Carrot Top got a confused look on their face. “Rrriiight,” Carrot said slowly, her look not disappearing “well… just don’t get your hopes up.” “Um, okay?” it seemed to be getting really awkward for some reason so I just left. _____________________________________________________________________________________ Bon-Bon finally got some business going. Just as she thought when the kids got off school for the last time this year they decided to rush her store. She saw a few of them head to Sugar cube corner across the street instead her shop, but that store was her only really competition around here. Nothing like some healthy competitive business to get a store at its best. It was more or less of a friendly competition since Pinkie works for the Cakes and makes frequent visits to her shop as well as occasionally asking for some supplies for their own food. She got paid for it of course but Pinkie was the only constant source of income. Some of the young fillies and colts that have come into her store were sitting around at the tables she had set up in her store. There were two colts in particular that had been sitting there for a while as if waiting for someone. A tall orange one and a small blue one. _________________________________________________________________________________________ Dinky said that we needed to meet her friends at Bon-Bon’s shop. It worked for me; I wanted to see what Bon-Bon was up to anyways. On our way their I saw Colgate coming our way whistling the My Little Pony tune, it’s funny and odd how they don’t know a thing about the world they live in being a cartoon and yet they seem to know the tune to their own opening song. I tried to force down the urge to laugh and get her attention with a greeting “Hey Colgate!” I called out. “Oh, hello Lyra. Didn’t expect to meet you, who’s the little filly?” “I’m Dinky.” She answered “Lyra said she wanted to play with me and my friends.” “Well that’s sweet of you, you’re like a little filly yourself. Playing with kids should be easy for you.” Colgate said. Why dose everypony say I act like a kid? Am I really that childish? “It’s really never been a problem for me.” I said. I always had a knack for watching and playing with little kids. If my special talent wasn’t the Lyre then babysitting would have been… I wonder what a cutie mark like that would look like. “We’re going to go looking for humans.” Colgate let out an amused giggle “I remember when I used to go on those with Berry and Cheerilee.” “You knew Ms. Cheerilee?” Dinky asked “Of course, she was much older than me or Berry and had the strangest fashion sense.” Colgate said with a small smirk apparently remembering an oddly dressed pony. “Anyways I’m probably wasting your time now. Have fun.” She said and continued her walk. There was something fishy going on about this whole situation. Dinky and I continued on our way to her friends. When we entered the shop Bon-Bon owned she greeted me happily and I said hi back to her. The shop itself wasn’t as busy as last time I came but I felt as though the celebration had something to do with it. I told her about my day so far especially the odd Vinyl Scratch wake up call. “I’m honestly surprised that she doesn’t get any noise complaints.” Bon-Bon said “She probably wouldn’t hear them.” I answered simply “Oh yeah, I offered to go with Dinky and her friends to go look for humans.” Remembering the most important part of the day. “I remember those, I can’t believe I ever thought they we’re real.” She laughed innocently but my mind was caught up on what she said. Humans… searching… kids- er, foals… Humans… I gasped “Not real?!” Bon-Bon shoved her hoof in my mouth and shushed me urgently. I noticed that some faces were turned to me “Quiet,” She whispered angrily “Their young and will be heartbroken if they find out.” My heart felt broken though. When she removed her hoof I whispered back in the same urgent tone “What do you mean humans aren’t real?” Bon-Bon looked genuinely surprised “You really thought they were?” “Well duh,” I said, wasn’t it obvious? But then another realization came upon me. Humans are real where I’m from and yet they know at least a little about them, Unicorns, Pegasi and other magical creatures live here and everyone in my world knows at least a little about all of them… so would that mean that there is still a chance of humans in Equestria? “You may have lost faith but I swear I will find a Human and I’ll even show it to you when I do. In fact I’ll show everypony.” “Lyra it’s just an old pony’s tale.” “So was Nightmare Moon.” Bon-Bon fell silent realizing that I was right in that respect “I’ll give you that one but honestly do you honestly believe that you’ll find a human?” “Absolutely, Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but eventually I’ll find one.” Bon-Bon was apprehensive on the whole fact I believed in what was apparently the pony version of Bigfoot but let it go as I went with Dinky, and her friends Snips and Snails. These ponies are so punny “If you think that human hunting is fun you should come and help us look for Seaponies someday.” Snips said. “I might just do that.” I said, If humans are real and so are many other creatures in this world the there must be the existents of these Seaponies too, right? Either way this should be interesting even if it is the pony version of a Snipe hunt.