//------------------------------// // 3. Suitor For Success // Story: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far // by KholdstareV //------------------------------// _________________________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 3: Suitor For Success _________________________________________________________________________________________ By the time Applejack was able to see Rarity's booth, she could see Pinkie Pie and Sweetgood Mac in front of it, talking to Sweetie Belle and an unfamiliar mare on the other side of the counter. Rainbow Dash and Aeroswift were at the archery range across the way, both standing with their bows drawn back and arrows ready. They both released their bows at the exact same moment, letting their arrows fly at the same target. Aeroswift's hit the white ring around the bull’s-eye. Rainbow Dash's struck the bull’s-eye almost dead center. She threw her bow in the air and shouted in triumph. "Yeeeeah! How'd you like THAT, mom? In yo FACE!" "Celebrate all you want. You're still behind 27 points!" "No way! I'm only behind like... uhh...umm... Ack, you're right! I can still catch up, though. Just you watch!" Applejack laughed a little to herself and turned back to Rarity's booth. She began to move toward it when she suddenly felt a hoof wrap roughly around her shoulders and pull her aside. Whoever it was forced her into a narrow opening between a nearby candy stand and sports equipment booth. Applejack grabbed the mysterious hoof and, without hesitation, shifted her body weight back, and then quickly forward, flinging the assailant over her head and causing them to smack onto the grass with a sharp thud. "OWWWWW!" the assailant cried. "W-why would you do that, Applejack?!" Applejack immediately regretted her action when she realized the pony she had just whomped was Rarity. "Oh, my dear aunt Orange! Rarity, I'm so sorry!" "Oooggh..." Rarity moaned, shifting on her back. "And I just had a deep tissue massage this morning, too..." Applejack helped Rarity to her feet, and began to apply a light chop massage to her back. "Allow me. Again, so, so sorry! But why did you go grabbin' me like that? You should know better!" "I apologize for that," Rarity sighed, "But I'm in a bit of a frantic state right now. I had to pull you aside because I really, really need your help!" "You coulda just called out to me..." "No, this is far too dramatic a situation for that!" Rarity argued. "Look over there, at my booth. Can you see my mother and sister there?" While continuing with the massage, Applejack took a good look over at the mare who she now knew to be Rarity's mother. She bore a soft violet coat and friendly blue eyes, and a very homely outfit consisting of white pants and a red blouse. Her most dominant feature was her mane - it was a gorgeously done-up mound of purple hair that rose like a hill and fell behind her head in curls. "Yeah, I see 'em. What about 'em?" "They're both here with my father, and they want to introduce me to..." she paused for dramatic effect, "...a SUITOR!" "Oh, my! I'm... sorry?" Applejack responded, not entirely sure whether or not to be sorry. "You SHOULD be! Ohh, they do this to me EVERY SINGLE TIME! And look at me - my fear of facing this situation again is keeping me from going back to my booth. I can't work like this! It's stunting the growth of my career! Ooooh, the humanity!" "The who-what-ity?" "Oh, I don't know. I make up horrible-sounding words when I get dramatic. You know that." "Right, right..." Applejack said. She took another look at the booth. "Now hold on. I don't see any stallions over there. Not one that could be your pa OR that suitor!" "Oh, my father's probably just gone to fetch him. And I'll bet they'll just be waiting for me to get back so they can present him as some big surprise!" Rarity was now gritting her teeth and breathing heavily. "Like they... ALWAYS... do...!" "Uh, beggin' your pardon, Rarity, but don't you think you're jumpin' to some hasty conclus-" "EEEK! There they are!" Rarity squealed and ran behind Applejack's back. Applejack peaked out from between the booths and saw two stallions stumbling through the aisle, hooves around each other's shoulders, babbling incoherently between hearty laughs. One was white with a brown mustache, a blue Hawaiian shirt, a straw hat, and a Cutie Mark resembling three American footballs. Applejack could tell right away that he was Rarity's father. The other was light brown with thick black facial hair, a green poncho, and a sombrero. Applejack's best guess was that he was the suitor that Rarity had anticipated. Rarity moaned in disgust. "Ooooh, it's worse than I thought! He rounded up another one of those burros from the farm next door..." Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Burro? But that means 'donkey'. He ain't no donkey. He's a pony!" "I know. That's just what we of, *ahem*, HIGHER society call ponies from that part of the world." "Is that right? 'Round here, we call 'em Wetflanks." "Oh, whatever they're called! To me, he's just another suitor that my parents want to push on me to get me to settle down and I want NOTHING to do with him!" "Aww, c'mon. Give the feller a chance. He might be nice!" "No stallion is nicer than the fact that I have a lucrative career. I guarantee you, he nor any other suitor is worth me giving that up!" The two stallions were just now beginning to pass the alcove where the two ponies were hiding. Rarity attempted to duck back further. "So how am I supposed to help you?" Applejack questioned. "Just... I don't know! Go tell my family that I've left for the night, and take over my booth for me." "What? I ain't doin' that! I gotta visit my own folks later!" "Well, then tell my family I've left, and lure them away from the booth so I can continue working it. You can do that, can't you?" "This is ridiculous. I refuse to do any of this." "Please, Applejack! "No!" "Puh-LEEEASE!" Rarity threw her hoof over her mouth. She and Applejack both knew, in that moment, that she had pleaded too loudly. Both looked out, and saw that her cry had drawn the attention of Rarity's father. He squinted to see into the dimness of the space between the booths, and after a few seconds, a joyful grin spread across his face. "Rarity!" he called out. "Is that my lovely daughter back there?" "Ooooh-ho-ho!" Rarity sobbed to herself. "He's seen me!" "Yep. Jig's up," Applejack replied matter-of-factly. "Guess you got no choice but to face ‘im now." Rarity drooped her head and gave a heavy sigh before nodding and slowly walking out. Applejack followed close behind. "Rarity! It IS you!" Rarity's father exclaimed. He laughed and gave his companion a nudge, who in turn put on a nervous smile. "What on earth you doin' back there?" "Hello father," Rarity said lowly. "I was just, umm... shopping." "Shoppin'? For what, candy or sports stuff? Cuz neither one suits you at all! Hahaha!" "Actually, sir," Applejack butt in. "She was shoppin' with me. I needed some, err, new protein shake mix for when I work out." "Ah! You must be, uhh... I know Rarity's told me about you...” He clapped his hooves together when he remembered. “Oh, Apple Schnapps!" "Heh, close enough. It's ‘Applejack’." "APPLEJACK! That's right," he said, shaking his head. "Beg your pardon. I'm Rarity's father, Hoppin Barley." "It's a pleasure," Applejack replied, secretly chuckling at his name. "So you run Sweet Apple Acres, do ya? Now THIS is an impressive piece of farmland! I'm a farmer myself, you know." "Really? Wow! I had no idea." "Yeah, I own the barley farm just a few miles east of here, Buckets O' Barley. Know it?" Applejack was about to answer, but hesitated for a moment when she caught a glimpse of Hoppin Barley's companion giving wooey eyes to Rarity. She, in turn, gave a polite smile that was clearly masking a disgusted look underneath. "Sure, Buckets O' Barley. I'm familiar with it," Applejack replied. "Heard good things!" This was in fact, a lie. Applejack knew that that farm actually had a reputation as being one of the worst-maintained in Equestria, offering crop that was inferior both in quality and quantity. She had often heard other farmers make jokes about it, and even laughed along sometimes. Now that she knew it was Rarity's father who owned the place, though, she wished she could take all the laughs back. "I do my best," Hoppin said with a smile. "Now whaddya say we head on over to Rarity's stall? I'm sure my wife'll be delighted to meet you." "I'd be delighted myself, sir," Applejack insisted. With that, the group began to head to the booth. On the way, Hoppin walked to Rarity’s side and said, "Say, my little angel, I'd like you to meet Huevos Grandes. He runs the chicken coop in the farm next door to ours! Ain't that somethin'?" Rarity glanced at the sombrero-wearing pony, who held his head up proudly. "Oh, it's SOMEthing alright," she replied sarcastically. In her head, she continued with "Something BORING and UNCOUTH!" "You betcha! He's an awful hard worker, and knows a thing or two about treatin' women well, if you know what I mean!" Rarity groaned under her breath. "Why don't you let HIM brag about himself?" "Oh, he don't speak English!" Hoppin said with a laugh. Rarity's jaw dropped. "He doesn't speak... English? Are you serious?!" "Es un placer conocerte, señorita!" Huevos Grandes blurted with a slight bow of the head. Rarity just stared blankly before turning to her father. "I... I'm sorry, WHAT did he say to me?" "How should I know? I don't speak that crazy language!" "WHAT? Then how did you even-?!" Rarity halted her question, and just stared at her father and Huevos Grandes, who were both wearing big, goofy, drunken smiles on their faces. She eventually rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, heavens..." she said to herself, "this has 'long night' written all over it..." "It means 'pleasure to meet you, miss'," Applejack whispered to her. Rarity was about to question how Applejack knew that, but decided that wasn't worth pursuing either. "Whatever," was all she managed to say. ~~~ When at last the group reached Rarity's booth, Rarity's mother looked to her daughter and gasped in delight. "Rarity, sweetheart, there you are! I was beginning to wonder where you ran off to!" "Just... some shopping," Rarity replied half-heartedly. "Oh! Well, it doesn't look like you bought anything..." "I didn't." "Ah, OK then... Well, Sweetie Belle and I straightened up the booth a bit while you were gone. I hope you don't mind." "Yeah!" Sweetie Belle chirped. "Your booth was a total MESS, Rarity!" Rarity put on the most fake smile ever. "Thank you both. You're too kind..." Domicilia turned her pleasantly smiling gaze to Applejack. "Oh, and you must be Rarity's friend who's hosting the festival! Applejack, was it?" "That's right, ma'am. The one and only!" "I'm Domicilia. Rarity's mother, in case you hadn't guessed. The festival has been SO delightful thus far! It's so rare that I get to leave the house nowadays. Still got the little one to look after, ya know," she said, patting Sweetie Belle on the head. "But she's been having a great time here, too! Haven't you, Sweetie Belle?" "Pssh, yeah right! We haven't even done anything fun yet!" Sweetie Belle whined with a stamp of her hoof. "You promised you'd let me try deep-fried cookie dough!" Domicila just laughed sweetly. "Oh, we will soon, dearest. I promise." "Heya, darlin'!" Hoppin Barley said as he approached his wife. "I'm back! Miss me?" "Oh, honey, you were only gone for fifteen minutes..." "And that's regretful, cuz that's fifteen minutes I wasn't with you, sugar dimple. And that AIN'T just the beer talking!" "Aww... I bet it is, but it's still sweet!" she replied happily. The two shared a quick kiss. Sweetie Belle gagged and Rarity rolled her eyes. "Oh!" Hoppin exclaimed, "And hey, look who joined me tonight! You remember Huevos Grandes, don't ya?" Domicilia turned to Huevos Grandes with her eyes lit up. "Oh, of COURSE! From the farm next door! How are you?" "Muy bien, muy bien!" Huevos Grandes replied with a bow. "Good! Good!" she said with a polite, but clueless, nod. She looked at Rarity, who was trying to hide behind a rack of dresses. "Rarity, darling! Have you met Huevos Grandes? He's very nice! And, may I say, very handsome as well!" Rarity pretended not to hear. She stayed where she was, silent. Domicilia beckoned her with her hoof. "Well, come on over here! Say hello to him!" "Maybe I could if we spoke the same language!" Rarity called out in exasperation. Domicilia chuckled nervously and looked back at Huevos Grandes. "My daughter," she said. "She is... Muy bella, sí? Muy bella." "Oh, sí! Sí!" Huevos Grandes exclaimed with a drunken slur. "Es tan bella como una margarita... Hablo de la flor Y la bebida!" This sent both him and Hoppin Barley into a fit of laughter. "Sí, sí!" Domicilia said. "I don't know what you just said, but I'm sure it was lovely. Didn't it sound lovely, Rarity?" "It sounded like gibberish and I don't care to hear another word of it!" "Oh, come on now, sweetie..." Domicilia pleaded. She began to approach Rarity's position, and motioned for Hoppin and Huevos to follow. "I know you haven't liked the other stallions we've introduced you to before, but, umm... I-I really think Huevos is different! I think he may be the stallion whom you can ride off into the sunset with. Raise a family with. Share a love with like your father and I share..." "Yeah!" Hoppin shouted out, "And who'll get you to put a lid on this fancy-schmancy fashion enterprise o' yours and settle down!" "Y para cocinar y limpiar en la casa!" Huevos exclaimed. "Como una mujer verdadera!" Both he and Hoppin began belly-laughing again. Applejack watched the whole scenario playing out, simultaneously growing more intrigued and unsettled by the second. By that point, Rainbow Dash and Aeroswift had just rejoined the group at the booth. "Yo, what's goin' on?" Rainbow Dash asked. "A gosh darn soap opera, is what," Applejack replied, not taking her eyes off the scene. Rarity peaked out from behind the dress rack, a displeased pout on her face. "How many times do I have to tell you? I don't WANT the life that you two have! I want the life I ALREADY have! The glorious life of entrepreneurship that I'm HEADING towards!" "Disappointment, disillusionment, misery!" Hoppin Barley slurred. "You pursue big business, THAT'S what you're headin' towards!" "No, those are what I'll get if I marry a stallion that I can't even talk to!" "Oh, but sweetie, your father's right," Domicilia insisted, a genuine concern in her voice. "The stress, the cutthroat nature of that world... It'll cripple a fragile thing like you! Please, we just don't want to see you end up unhappy..." "Yes you do!" Rarity argued back. "You just want to bring me down to YOUR level because both of YOUR career attempts went up in smoke! And you know it!" Silence. All the air seemed to get sucked out of the booth in that instant. Both Domicilia and Hoppin Barley looked at one another, frowning. Even Huevos Grandes appeared to understand that a hard blow had just been dealt. Domicilia cleared her throat and, after a brief hesitation, spoke. "Now, Rarity... You know why your father and I had to give up what we did..." "Yes, I know. And I, for one, refuse to make the same mistake! So don't go trying to FORCE that mistake on me!" From there, the conversation between Rarity, her parents, and her suitor devolved into a cacophony of arguing voices that, all at once, sounded of anger, annoyance, and frustration. Sweetie Belle backed away, not wanting to get involved. She took a spot next to Applejack. "I hate when they get like this," she moaned. "Guess that means no deep-fried cookie dough for me tonight..." "What huge jerks!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "How can they force some sweaty dude on Rarity like that! SO uncool!" "Well, their hearts seem to be in the right place," Sweetgood Mac reasoned, "but still, they really should let her spread her wings and find love on her own. I mean, she shouldn't have any trouble. She's beautiful and successful, after all…" Hoppin Barley suddenly stepped over and butt in. "Say, did I just hear somepony voice a compliment about my little angel?" He looked Sweetgood Mac up and down. "Well well, you look suave enough! How'd you like to get to know my daughter better?" "HUH?!" Sweetgood Mac choked in surprise. "N-no! I mean, thank you for the offer, but..." He stole a glance at Aeroswift. She stared back at him with murder in her eyes. "...I-I'm already married." "Oh," Hoppin Barley replied, looking disappointed. "That's a shame... Oh well, enjoy your wife then!" With that, he ran back over and resumed the argument with his family. Sweetgood Mac chuckled nervously. "Well, uh... that was embarrassing!" He nudged Rainbow Dash. "Can you believe he asked me if I wanted ‘get to know your friend better’? Ha!" Aeroswift didn't look the slightest bit amused. "May as well have. Wouldn't be the first time you violated OUR marriage with the help of another mare..." Sweetgood choked on his own breath. He returned a shocked and angry glare at Aeroswift. She wasn't fazed. Rainbow Dash, in turn, shook her head and covered her face with her hoof. Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, and looked up at Applejack. "What does she mean by that?" she asked in a hushed tone. Applejack twisted her lip. "Uh... Nothin' you need to know about, sugar cube," she assured her. She glanced back and forth between Rarity's arguing family and Rainbow Dash's clearly soon-to-be arguing family. She then knelt down close to Sweetie Belle. "Say, how's about we get you some o' that scrump-diddly-umpcious fried cookie dough you were talkin' about?" Sweetie Belle gasped and lit up. "Really? You'll take me?!" "Sure! I'm sure your ma won't mind. She promised you, didn't she?" "Yup yup yup, she did!" She hugged Applejack around her leg. "Thank you, Applejack! Thank you!" "No prob! Now let's get goin'..." With that, Applejack led Sweetie Belle away from the booth and all its broiling tensions, hoping for once to have a tender and friendly moment that night...