Fallout equestria: Eternal sleep.
Chapter 1
“He’s like a kid with a gun. And an entire grasp on every curse word in the entire equestrian language”
{BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.}
I awoke to the sound of alarms ringing in my ear. I moaned trying to tune them out.
“Just five more minutes” I muttered in my sleep. “I’ll be up in a sec Kami.”
Unfortunately for me, the alarms didn’t stop. In fact, I swear to Celestia they got louder. Kami must either be pranking me, which frankly, isn’t out of the ordinary, or it must be really important. Either way, it’s not going to stop until I get up.
“Alright, alright, I’m going.” As I got out of bed, I got a rather rude yet quick reminder that I was in a capsule and not a bed. As my face fell out to the floor, I muttered a very light “Ow.” After recovering from the sudden drop, I got up and said “Alright Kami you got me. Now what do you want?”
I expected a rather sarcastic reply, Kami seemed to enjoy those, but instead all that I got was the continuous alarm.
“Come on Kami turn that damn alarm off. I’m already up.” The alarm continued to sound off. “C’mon man its not funny anymore. Now turn that off and tell me what you want.” I still got no response.
“Fuck it. I’ll ask Shokka instead. Hey Shokka? Can you turn this damn alarm off?” I still got no answer. I thought to myself, this better be fucking important. Like, Trebly getting a new French horn recital or Shokka getting the best idea for a story line important. That or Kami is planning a REALLY elaborate prank and gotten everypony involved. Probably the latter, since Kami likes to be a dick to me a lot.
“For the love of celestia will somepony turn that fucking alarm off?” I said. And then a sudden realization hit me. Nopony else was in the room. Damn it, I thought as I mentally facehoofed. Why didn’t I realize this earlier? All right, I was convinced. Kami was pulling the strings with this. He must’ve snuck in to the maintenance room and rigged the alarm while everypony else went to go get something. Whatever. I’ll just look for them. I opened the stable door and stepped out into the main hall.
“Trebly? Shokka? Kami? Hello?” I yelled out. I instead got the same answer. That fucking alarm. At that point the sound became so annoying I wanted to kick the damn wall. Next time I see Kami I’m gonna kick his flank so hard that-
“Hey! Somepony turn off that fucking alarm.” Thank you. Finally somepony had some in this stable. I’ll ask him where my friends were, I thought to myself. At the very least Kami, so I can kick him square in the muzzle. Maybe that was a tiny bit overkill, but at this point I didn’t care. I was really pissed at this point. Besides, maybe this pony could help me turn off this alarm (or show me the way, because I forgot where the maintenance room was.)
As I approached the voice, I came to another realization. I forgot my ipony in my sector. Also there was something on my right forhoof. As I pulled it up it showed many weird shapes and symbols, all in different categories. I decided to look a t it later, and continued on my way to greet the other pony.
“Hello there fellow member of Stable 35. I would like to ask for your help in turning this-“ my speech was cut off by the mere sight of this pony. He was light grey with a spiked green mane. He had a shotgun in what appeared to be a saddle and a pistol in his mouth. His cutie mark seemed to be a skull on fire. But the worst part about this pony is that he was covered in something red. He put the pistol in his saddle and opened the door to another section of the stable.
“Ah what do we have here? Four more pre-war ponies.” Pre-war? The fuck did that mean? “Hey Jobbs! We four more useless shits in here.” The fuck is he talking about?
“I’ll be there in a minute ya fuckwad!!” the pony that I assumed was Jobbs called out. I heard Jobbs from the other end of the hall. I really didn’t want to meet Jobbs, she sounded really pissed. I didn’t know if she was armed, but I didn’t want to take chances. I decided to walk back into my section and hide. I’m a coward, so sue me. Unfortunately I didn’t get very far until I got to meet Jobbs. I guessed I sat there longer than I thought.
“Well what do we have here?” Jobbs, a bright red unicorn with a short blonde mane, said. “Hey fuckwad, we got a spy!!” Ok, first off, how the fuck do I look like a spy? And second off, is this stallion’s name really fuckwad? Who name’s there colt fuckwad? I mean seriously, what pony does that? I started to think deeper into that, but a pistol whip to the face brought me back to reality.
I was in pain. “Ow, that hurt ya fucking bitch.” No shit self, I thought in my mind. You just got pistol whipped in the head. Of course it fucking hurts.
Well, I thought, since I’m going to die, I might as well be a smartass while I do it. I waited for the grey pony to come over to where I was l lying. “Hm………Jobbs you fucking idiot! This isn’t a spy! This is a slave that you almost killed! Now go back with the other’s and get more slave’s!”
Jobbs shouted, “Fine ya fuckwad! Don’t come crying to me when we get fucked in the ass by other slavers!” Jobbs then ran back to the hall, and I’m assuming up the stairs, because I heard somepony running the floor above fuckwad and me? I still didn’t know his name. Eh fuck it, I thought. I’ll find out later what his name is.
“Alright ya piece of shit. Get the fuck off the ground and keep fucking moving.” The stallion said. You know what, fuck it, I thought. This guys name to me is fuckwad to me. He certainly acted like a fuckwad, so this guys name is fuckwad. Anyway, fuckwad help (more like forced) me get up, and I was about to start walking when my paper that the soldier gave me when I went to sleep. The stallion gasped, which got my attention.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
He spoke quietly, but loud enough for me to hear him. “Are you from section 14?”
“Yes. Why?”
He then punched my face with his hoof. I swear to Celestia that one of my teeth flew out of my mouth. The pain came right after the contact. I held my face, and thought my mouth and muzzle were bleeding. “Dude!! The Fuck is wrong with you?!?!?!” I shouted
Fuckwad looked really pissed. “So your one of the escapees from section 14 aren’t you?”
“Dude,” I said, still holding muzzle. “I have no idea what the fuck your talking about!”
The alarm noise seemed to intensify, which didn’t help my current situation. Not only were my mouth and muzzle bleeding, but now my ears were bleeding as well.
The stallion started yelling. “You fucking worthless piece’s of shit almost got me killed! You know what, you aren’t even good enough for slave work. I’m gonna save everypony trouble and kill you worthless piece of shit right fucking now! And after that I will personally look for everypony that was in that section and make them suffer until they choke on their own blood!”
Ok, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Seriously, why is this guy so fucking pissed at my friends? And why do I feel like killing him? I’ve never felt like killing anypony (except in pony fortress 2, fucking spies). But this pony made me want to see his fucking head get blown off.
“all of them except the mare.” Oh hell no. He is not-“she’s, she’s gonna die slowly. First the cunt will-“ He did NOT just call Trebly a cunt. “-run into the room, then the gas will hit her, then she’ll feel pain like she’s never felt before. And I will fuck her so hard right before she dies she will-“ FUCK. NO.
“Hey!!” I shouted over the alarm. “Let me tell you one thing Fuckwad”
Fuckwad stopped narrating and looked at me with pissed-looking eyes. “NOPONY.CALLS ME. FUCKWAAAAAAAAD!” He then proceeded to fire his shotgun at me. I somehow got out of the way just in time. I had made up my mind. I was going to murder this fucker. I don’t care if Twilight Sparkle herself had to stop me. This pony was going to die.
I stood up and for a second I thought, I’m probably going to die. However I did have two advantages. One, and the most crucial one to help me, is that I was fucking pissed. And two, even though we we’re in a building, is that I was a Pegasus. This guy was an earth pony. I might be able to at least escape from his wrath. And then I remembered what he would do to my friends. What he would do to Trebly. And then, I got a feeling I’ve never felt before. Pure unbridle rage. I flew straight towards fuckwad while he was reloading, and without thinking, kicked him straight in the jaw.
Fuckwad then took a couple of steps back, and then shouted “Your gonna pay for that ya little shit!” He then fire his shotgun again, this time completely unloading it trying to hit me. He was a piss poor shot, every shot he missed. As he reloaded, I saw my chance to hit this fucker again. I flew up towards the roof, and dived as fast as I could straight into his back. Apparently I can fly faster than I remembered, because Fuckwad slammed down on the floor. I could’ve sworn I heard his spine crack, but he didn’t act like it.
“I.AM.GOING TO. FUCKING MURDER YOU!!”
Then something snapped inside me, it caused me to smile. I thought of what I was doing to this guy. It was wrong, and I could be thrown in jail, or executed. But I didn’t care at this point. This guy was going to die.
I then got a rude snap back to reality via Fuckwad head-butting me into the wall. I felt all the pain from the fight come back. Except it was ten times worse. As I looked up, I saw Fuckwad tower over me, and he actually looked quiet menacing.
“I have to admit kid, your not too bad. Given some training and you could be one of the best damn slavers out there. But now your future is over kid. I’ll kill you, and I’ll find your friends. And I’ll kill them. So say goodnight kid, and see ya in hell.” Then as he pulled out his pistol he muttered, “Oh, and I’ll make sure to take care of that mare of yours.”
As he went to grab his pistol, I thought, well this is it. I’m going to die. Kami continue sneaking into things, Trebly will continue playing her French horn, and Shokka will keep writing anime. And I’ll just die, and they’ll forget about me. I’ll never see them again. I looked up and saw the barrel of the pistol stare down at me. Well, I’m gone.
BOOOOOM.
A random explosion went off in the other hall. Fuckwad turned around quickly. “The hell was that?!” He was distracted for a minute. That’s all I needed. I kicked Fuckwad’s face and made him drop his pistol. As Fuckwad tried to recollect himself, I picked up the pistol with my mouth and then realized something. I didn’t know how to fire this thing. The first, and probably stupidest, idea that I had was to pull the trigger with my tongue. I aimed right at Fuckwad’s head and put my tongue on the trigger. I fired the gun. The recoil of the damn gun almost made me drop it. I thought more of my teeth fell out. Then I looked straight at Fuckwad. He wasn’t moving.
“Holy celestia, did I just kill somepony?” I said out loud. I knew my friends were going to leave me now. I just murdered somepony I didn’t even know. They wouldn’t be friends with a murderer. I heard more ponies coming down the hall. I knew I couldn’t just sit there and mourn now. I had to leave. So I ran to the other end of the hall, so I could loop around. I ran and never looked back.
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************
“Hey! Somepony stop that fucker!” I heard a mare call out from the other end of the hall. I ran as fast as I could past more sections of the stable so I could escape. Then I came up to a dead end.
“Aw shit.” I muttered to myself. The alarm was still going off. There was shouting everywhere, and my heart was beginning to race. I looked down and saw that I was on the top floor and on the balcony area. Now I wasn’t a great flyer, but I had to decide to either fly down to the bottom floor or get killed. I took my chances and went with the former. As I flew down to the bottom floor, I got a quick glimpse that nopony was down there. I believed I wasn’t that far from the entrance, so maybe if I’m quiet enough I can-
“Hey you mother fucker!” Shit. “Get back here!” Ok, does everypony curse nowadays? I mean hell, if nopony else will stop swearing, then I won’t.
“Hey! Tell the boss we got a runner!” I heard a familiar voice call out. As I ran towards the main door, I took a quick look back and saw that Jobbs was after me with a bunch of other ponies. “Your gonna pay for what you did to my partner ya bitch!!”
All right, I thought to myself while I was running, did nopony know this guys name? Seriously? Who the fuck was this stallion? I really want to know given the fact that I killed him, and I’m probably going to jail.
Suddenly I saw the stable door. It was fucking huge. It had a big 35 in the center. I decided to leave the alarm on as I looked for the door controls.
BANG!!
A shot rang out from the hallway. It scared me that I popped out my wings. I saw the door control panel and looked for the switch to open the door.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
More shots fired out from the hallway. I saw Jobbs run around the corner and I knew I had to find that panel quick. I saw a panel that read “CLOSE BACK DOOR”I saw that its was on red, which meant no. Well, I thought to myself, we might as well see what it does. As I pulled the lever, the door behind me closed shut, stopping Jobbs and her crew
“Aw shit! Somepony open this fucking door!” I heard Jobbs shout. I knew that would hold them for a bit, but I couldn’t help but think that was stupid design for whoever made this stable. Regardless, I kept searching for the main door control. I found it shortly after locking Jobbs out of the room, and it read “OPEN OR CLOSED” I quickly flicked the control to OPEN and I heard metal grinding on metal. The sound was excruciatingly loud. Soon the vault door was completely open. Unfortunately, so did the door behind me, letting Jobbs and her merry band of ponies into the door.
Luckily for me, there was a small opening in the window that I could fit through, or I could take my chances and run out the door of the control room. Well, I thought, no risk, no reward. I unfolded my wings and yelled out loud one of my many phrases that I misused. “TRYHARD!!!!!” I flew straight through the window, without a scratch. “How the fuck did I do that?” I thought to myself. I was snapped back into reality by a bullet passing by my ear. “Oh right” I muttered again. “I’m running for my life.”
I flew straight out the door and immediately took cover by the wall next to where the stable door closed. I saw the exact same control panel that I saw to open the stable door. I quickly switched it to close. The sound of metal on metal was even more painful since I was closer to the damn door.
“FUUUCK!!!” I heard Jobbs call out from the other end. “BOSS IS GONNA KILL ME! FOUR PILES OF SHIT ESCAPED!!” Oh right. My friends left as well. The door finally slammed shut and the stable was closed. They’re probably going to try and open the door again, so I had to move quickly. I then realized I forgot my ipony. Well shit.
I walked out of the cave, looking forward to being outside again. Maybe I could convince the princesses that I only killed in self-defense. Maybe Fluttershy, since I was good friends with her, would help me out.
As I opened the door to leave, the sun shined brightly in my eyes. Damn, I thought as I shielded my eyes, Celestia already found out and is coming to kill me. Well fuck. It was a good run. Time to die.
As I removed my hoof from my face, I saw that rambling rock ridge was in shambles. The ridge was gone, now it was just pile’s of rocks. I flew up to see what was past the rocks and saw…..something I’ll never forget.
Equestria was in ruins. There were no trees, no grass, and no sign of life whatsoever. Granted, there wasn’t THAT many trees that I saw when my friends and I first arrived. But still, they were there. Now, equestria was lifeless.
“What the fuck happened here?”
FOOTNOTE: LEVEL UP
NEW PERK: TIGHT SQUEEZER. YOU CAN FLY TROUGH JUST ABOUT ANY SPACE. STANDING UP DOES NOT INFLICT ON WHERE YOU CAN GO.