//------------------------------//
// Chapter Five 
// Story: Princessy 
// by not plu 
//------------------------------//

My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.

The day and night are both mine now. I don’t sleep.

I can’t sleep. There simply isn’t time. 

I guess I never... appreciated her. What she did, who she was... no. I knew who she was.

I never admitted it to myself -what I knew- until it was too late, clichéd as it seems.

My only salvation comes in my duties.

The monotony of ruling... salvation isn’t the right word. It’s not that.

I try to lose myself in work, really. It doesn’t often work.

I am unprepared for this, just as Discord predicted.

I always expected to have Luna by my side, though.

My thoughts are still clouded from these last years.

The memories don’t exactly fit.

I think I’m trying to block them out; shield myself from the pain.

I just want to be loved.

I just want a family.

My family... nothing is left of what used to be.

The once-great family has fallen.

I am what is left of a long line of divine.

I don’t live up to my history.

I don’t deserve myself.

My name, my history, my family.

The thoughts of all that weight on me...

I’m crumbling, too.

I won’t last long under all this pressure.

I don’t have help, no one is here for me.

My parents- dead.

The moments I shared with them are dead, too.

I still listen to my momma.

I still try.

I am not sure if she would be proud of me today.

My uncle- gone.

The thin veil of his rulership has been burned.

I am much stronger than he was.

I am much better than he was.

I still can’t let go of all he’s said to me.

My sister... Luna, oh Luna.

The thoughts of her nag me, beg me for my attention, yet I push them away.

I still love her.

I am fighting, ruling, all for her.

I am not sure if I can do this with or without her.

My daily decisions seem to be too weighty.

The frivolous -what to eat, to wear- seem monumental.

I am pressured to make them, and I just can’t.

I feel so isolated, so misunderstood.

I am inclined to pass it off as teenage angst.

My mind tells me it isn’t.

The feelings I have- what are they, truly?

I can’t be sure.

I don’t know if I ever will be. At least, not for a while.

I wish I could. It would make life simpler.

My very being aches for a time of inner peace.

The events and people that shaped my world have caused eternal turmoil.

I loathe my past, yet embrace it.

I want normality, same as I always have.

I just can’t do this.

My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.