Warning! - Due to the events seen in S4E1-2, this chapter has been safely removed from TWP canon. Please just enjoy this chapter as a fun story and pay it not heed moving forward.
Main Characters: Luna, Celestia, James, Dusk
Cameos: None
Original Start Date: March 25, 2013
Luna yawns as she trots back to her room. She has just returned from several days of trade negotiations with the Thestral Empire. She wishes that the Crystal Empire did not have to be sealed away because of King Sombra. It used to be a much shorter flight for her wings. The princess moans and considers calling the royal masseuse to her room. She pushes the door open and trots straight to her bed.
‘Welcome back, princess,’ a pair of voices say.
The princess looks up. A pair of unknown ponies stand by the door. One is a brown earth pony stallion with a messy black mane. The other is is a purple unicorn mare wearing a simple necklace who looks like she could use a massage more than Luna does.
‘Who are you? What happened to Miss Featherbottom?’ Luna asks.
‘She won the lottery,’ the stallion explains.
‘We don’t have a lottery.’
‘I know. What a mare?’
The unicorn groans and facehooves.
Luna giggles. ‘Lucky her. Back to my original question, who are you?’
‘They call me James, I don-’ the stallion starts.
‘Why?’ Luna asks. ‘That is an odd name.’
The unicorn laughs. ‘That’s what I keep telling him.’
‘Are you two married?’
Both ponies tense up and look away, blushing.
Luna giggles. ‘You look cute together, James and..?’
‘My name is Tw-’
‘She is Dusk Shine,’ James interrupts.
Luna bows slightly from her bed. ‘Welcome James and Dusk. Given your presence and my earlier questioning, I assume you are my new attendants.’
‘Indeed we are,’ Dusk replies. ‘You will find I am quite adept at scheduling and have rearranged your appointments to better fit your duties.’
Luna tilts her head as she examines the unicorn in front of her. ‘I take it that “big magenta star” means “expert scheduler”.’
‘I am quite adept at many things, from research to test-taking, specializing in mag-’
‘And what are your talents?’ Luna asks James.
‘I have no clue. I’m just here because of a pretty face.’
‘Aw, James,’ both mares coo. They turn and growl at each other.
‘Anyway,’ Luna sighs. ‘I am quite tired from my trip. If you can have the chefs prepare me a small meal, I would like to retire for the night.’
‘Yes, princess,’ the ponies say, bowing.
James and Dusk leave Luna to rest. The princess moans and stretches on her bed.
James and Twilight work in one of the TARDIS’ kitchens. The stallion happily whips up a meal for Luna. On the other hoof, the mare has her perception filter off and flips through notes on her mobile.
‘I thought you said we were going to see the rise of Nightmare Moon,’ Twilight complains.
‘We are. Look how evil she is making her assistants slave over a stove all night for her.’
‘You’re doing that voluntarily.’
James holds out a spoon to Twilight. She groans, takes a bite, then swoons.
‘That good?’
Twilight snorts. ‘You got lucky.’
‘I could make it for you every night.’
The princess blushes. ‘Are you asking me to..?’
‘So! What other arguments do you have about how we are in the wrong time?’
Twilight looks at her notes. ‘Well, we are in the right time period, but she is not behaving like Nightmare Moon. She doesn’t even look the part.’
‘Tell me again how Nightmare Moon came about?’
Twilight groans. ‘The legend says that Nightmare Moon did not want to lower the moon one night and wanted to plunge the world into eternal night. When I asked Luna and Celestia about it, neither wanted to give me an answer. I asked my mom about it, but she couldn’t find anything in any of the records.’
‘Interesting,’ James notes, sampling his dish before plating it. ‘So there is no formal record about Luna’s actual banishment?’
‘What are you getting at?’
‘A thousand years is a long time. Truth gets distorted and becomes myth. Facts become twisted into legends. The monster manual I left in the library will one day become Tobin’s Spirit Guide.’
‘I used Tobin’s in school.’ Twilight glares at her coltfriend and growls. He places a treat in front of her. ‘But I think I see your point. We lost almost all record of the Crystal Empire after Sombra’s defeat.’ She sighs happily. ‘That library.’
‘I’ve seen the stain.’
Twilight snaps to attention. ‘That wasn’t me!’
James laughs and picks up a tray of food. ‘Get some rest. We’ll be busy in the morning.’
‘Sunshine, sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!’
The half-asleep Luna stares at the large, white rump in her face. She groans and looks about the room. James holds what appears to be a small, thin piece of metal. Dusk holds her head.
‘The sun has barely come up,’ Luna moans. ‘How can you have that much energy already?’
‘Come on, sister,’ Celestia teases as she hops from the bed. ‘You can get an early start one of these mornings.’
The older sister laughs as she prances from the room. Dusk groans. James approaches the bed and holds out a cup.
‘Here,’ the stallion offers. ‘Dark chocolate cappuccino. Your favorite.’
‘My favorite what?’ Luna asks, sniffing the brew.
‘Try it. You’ll like it.’
Luna sips the coffee. Her eyes go wide, and she takes a long drink. ‘Amazing. This is the greatest brew I have ever tasted.’
‘Wait until you try Code Red,’ James laughs.
Luna takes another sip. ‘So, Miss Dusk, what do I have on my agenda for today?’
Dusk checks her mobile. ‘Well, you have plenty of time for breakfast before your meeting with the representatives from the newly-founded colony of Neighpon.’
Celestia pops in. ‘Actually, that sounds pretty fun, so I’m taking that one.’
‘Okay... There are meetings with ministers from...’
‘Luna doesn’t really have much experience dealing with ministers,’ Celestia says. ‘I’ll handle them.’
‘I don’t have any experience because you don’t let me meet with them,’ Luna grumbles.
‘You’re not the most... relatable pony, what with your night stuff.’
‘It is my responsibility to watch over the night and protect ponies’ dreams. Our parents left me that duty!’
‘And you are doing such a good job of it,’ Celestia coos. ‘Just leave running the kingdom to me, and you can play with your friends until night time.’
The older princess happily trots out of the room. Luna magically slams the door, falls into her pillow and lets out a muffled scream. Her coat turns slightly black during the scream.
‘She never lets me do anything! Ever since we met Discord! I never get to do anything I want!’
‘Since Discord?’ Dusk asks.
Luna rolls over. ‘We were foals. I thought we found a new friend.’ She sighs. ‘He was one of my few friends when we got older. Celestia became more demanding as we got older and our parents left us to our duties. She became more focused on ruling than being a sister. Discord was the only one who understood me.’
‘Discord?’ Dusk is incredulous.
‘Shh!’ James hisses.
Luna moans. ‘It was good we sealed him, but it hasn’t been fun since then.’ She covers her head with a pillow. ‘I feel like I am beginning to forget what fun is.’
‘It can’t be all bad,’ Dusk says. ‘You just got back from a trip.’
‘Seeing Osiris and Isis is always fun, but that was just because Celestia did not want to make the trip.’ Luna moans again. ‘They are more her friends than mine anyway.’ She snorts. ‘I don’t have any friends any more. Nopony enjoys my nights. They think I’m a creep.’
‘That’s not true, princess,’ James assures. ‘We’re your friends.’
‘You just met me.’
‘Princess,’ Dusk begins, ‘I know a lot about friendship’ -- James snickers -- ‘and I know that your opening up to us is a sign of true friendship. We trust each other. We’re friends.’
Luna lifts the pillow from her head. ‘We are?’
‘And friends help friends,’ Dusk says, sitting on the bed. ‘Now, since your schedule just got cleared’ -- Luna moans -- ‘what do you want to do today?’
Celestia storms through the palace gardens. As she marches, she hears the disturbance that drew her away from her duties. The laughter and squawking grows louder with each step. The princess rounds a corner to see her sister and her two new attendants playing with a phoenix. The remains of a picnic sit to one side. Luna looks over and instantly freezes when she sees Celestia’s glare.
‘G-good afternoon, sister,’ Luna greets.
‘What do you think you are doing?’ Celestia growls.
‘W-we were j-just having a picnic.’
‘You are disturbing my meetings.’
‘W-we didn’t mean to. We were just having fun.’
The phoenix lands next to Celestia and mimics her movements.
‘Fun? Fun?! While you were so busy having fun, I was in meetings and dealing with running our country all morning. I cannot believe my own sister would dare shirk her responsibilities like this!’ She pauses. ‘And get your damn bird back to her cage!’
The phoenix flies back to Luna and cuddles up to the princess.
‘It is okay, Philomena.’ Luna glares at Celestia. ‘Why are you so upset? You took all of my responsibilities. I have nothing to do all day. Where is the harm with the princess having a picnic with her friends?’
Celestia snorts. ‘Friends? What do you know about friendship? Of course you think your servants are your friends after Discord traumatized you with his perverted ideas of what friendship could be.’
‘But Friendship is one of the Elements I control...’
‘And Honesty is one of mine.’ -- James snorts, getting a punch from Dusk -- ‘So believe me when I say that it is best for you stay out of the public eye until you are ready to be seen by our subjects.’
‘But, I want to interact more! Our subjects are afraid of me. If they could just get to know me better, I am sure we can get along.’
Celestia shakes her head. ‘We both know you are antisocial and temperamental. Once you learn to control yourself...’
Luna kicks the ground, raising a divot and scaring Philomena away. ‘I am only like this because you never let me do anything! I keep begging you to let me out, and the only things you let me do are away from our subjects.’
Celestia sighs. ‘Those assignments teach you responsibility. While you were causing trouble with Discord, I was ruling Equestria. You have a lot of catching up to do to rule properly.’ She turns away. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.’ She starts trotting away then stops. ‘Oh, and clean up this mess.’
While Celestia trots away, Luna closes her eyes and suppresses a scream. Her coat turns black while she controls her emotions. Dusk trots over and puts a hoof on Luna’s shoulder.
‘Princess Luna? Are you okay?’
‘I am not, Dusk Shine. I most certainly am not.’
A sky blue unicorn trots down a hall in Canterlot Castle. He adjusts his glasses as he takes in every aspect of the grand palace before him. Suddenly, the young stallion turns around and heads the opposite direction when he sees somepony approaching.
James and Dusk trot through the halls towards Luna’s room. Dusk levitates a tray of food above her while her companion fiddles with his mobile.
‘I am starting to regret asking for this trip,’ Dusk huffs.
‘Not liking the picture it paints of Celestia?’
Dusk groans. ‘That and it feels bad not being able to tell Luna that everything will work out for her.’
‘Are you going to risk changing history?’
‘Never! I just don’t want her to be upset anymore.’
James stops and kisses Dusk. ‘You are easily the best Element of Friendship ever.’
Dusk laughs and kisses James in return. A door opens while the ponies are kissing.
‘Please let me officiate the wedding,’ Luna asks. ‘It would help my public image and be a great way to repay your kindness towards me.’
The couple breaks the kiss and blushes.
‘Sorry,’ James apologizes.
‘It got away from us,’ Dusk says.
‘Quite all right,’ Luna giggles. ‘Who am I to come between two ponies in love?’
‘Can I hold you to that?’ Dusk asks, earning a gentle kick from James.
Luna giggles again. ‘You two are by far the cutest cou...’
The princess stops as her ears twitch. She steps out of her room and heads down the hall.
‘She heard,’ the others sigh.
Dusk leaves the meal in Luna’s room and follows the princess. Luna continues through the halls until she reaches a ballroom. The guards outside salute the princess.
‘What is going on?’ Luna asks.
‘Reception for the visiting delegates,’ a guard asks.
‘Why wasn’t I informed?’
‘Princess Celestia said that you were busy.’
‘But, I... Open the doors.’
The guards look at each other then crack the door. Luna looks in at the royals celebrating. Celestia sits at the head of a grand banquet table. She sees Luna looking in and smirks. The older princess shakes her head. Luna frowns and backs away.
‘I’ll be in my room,’ the dejected princess mopes.
Luna drags herself back to her room, leaving her friends behind.
Twilight paces in the TARDIS, her wings flared in anger. James sits by the door, watching her. He taps his mobile while keeping his eyes on Twilight.
‘I can’t believe her!’ Twilight shouts. ‘Her own sister and fellow princess! Luna should have been there! I am going there right now and giving her a piece of my mind!’
‘Causality!’ James argues.
Twilight glares into her coltfriend’s eyes. ‘I don’t care if it causes me to never exist. Sisters should not treat each other that way!’
‘I’ll keep that in mind if we ever have daughters.’
Twilight instantly turns red with embarrassment. ‘If we have foals?’
James blushes too. ‘Figure of speech?’
The mare smiles coyly and kisses her coltfriend. ‘Care to make it literal?’
‘Is this a trick to get me to move so you can yell at Celestia?’
Twilight runs a hoof down James’ cheek. ‘A little from column A, a little from column B’ -- she gives him another, longer kiss -- ‘and maybe hoping for some column D.’
James laughs. ‘That is the strangest dirty talk I have ever heard.’
‘Are you going to move or not?’
‘Only if you are going to join me in comforting Luna.’
Twilight glares and growls. ‘Fine. But you owe me.’
James sighs. ‘I know.’
The stallion stands and opens the door. Twilight dons her perception filter and marches out of the ship.
The next day, Luna has been in her room all day. James and Dusk try their best to coax her out, but she will not leave. Celestia trots up to the room. The two attendants look up from a game of cards. Dusk snorts and turns away.
‘Is she not coming out again?’ Celestia groans. ‘She is like this all the time.’ She lets out a loud sigh. ‘I guess I have to make up another fake diplomatic mission just to make her feel special.’
The princess trots away grumbling to herself. Dusk throws down her cards.
‘How can she be that way? She is not like that when we are from.’
James calmly collects the cards. ‘A thousand years is a long time to change. We know she is compassionate underneath it all. She just needs to be be reminded of that.’
‘She needs a kick in the butt,’ the unicorn snorts.
‘This is Celestia we are talking about.’
‘I don’t care if it is my mother. I am this close to shoving my crown up her...’
The door opens behind the ponies. Luna looks out at her attendants before magically dragging them inside. James and Dusk try looking around, but Luna’s chambers are dark. Luna lights her horn.
‘I assume you are wondering what I have been up to all day,’ the princess states.
‘Maybe just a little,’ James replies.
‘We’ve been so worried about you!’ Dusk exclaims. ‘We missed you.’
‘Are you okay?’ James asks. ‘You were pretty upset last night, and you locked yourself in here all day.’
Luna laughs. ‘That’s because I was working on this!’
Luna illuminates the room. It is full of moon-themed, occult and other bizarre decorations. Luna has fashioned a costume out of armor for herself. James and Dusk stare in shock.
‘Do you like it?’ Luna asks. ‘Last night, I got thinking. How can I be more social with other ponies? Then I got the idea. We should have a party! I’ve been working on it since you left last night. I cannot wait to tell Celestia all about it!’
The princess giggles and bounds out of the room. James takes some pictures of the room.
‘Did we just witness the founding of Nightmare Night?’ Dusk asks.
‘Come on,’ James encourages. ‘We don’t want to miss the big reveal.’
The ponies gallop from the room. The make their way through the palace to the throne room. Guards block them, but Dusk casts a spell that paralyzes them.
‘Sorry,’ the unicorn says as she ducks past.
The ponies skid to a stop. The guards recover and follow. Luna, in her costume, is explaining her idea to a bemused Celestia. The older sister watches impassively as her enthusiastic sister speaks.
‘...And there will be costumes and decorations,’ Luna explains. ‘Everypony can give away candy and treats to each other. There will be games and dancing. Most importantly, there will be fun! There will be so much fun it will be double! The night will seem to last forever! Wouldn’t that be great, sister? Everypony will have fun and get to know me and we will all be happy.’
Celestia takes a deep breath and shakes her head. ‘Sister, you try much harder than you should. Do you really think ponies would want to come to a party you throw?’
‘It is a party! What does it matter who throws it?’
‘Oh, Luna, you will never learn. If you keep going down the path you are on, our subjects will never accept you.’
Luna growls and stomps the ground. ‘If I cannot interact with them, they won’t accept me either!’
‘Watch your temper, Luna. And take off that silly costume. You look like a foal.’
‘What’s the difference? You keep treating me like one.’
‘I am trying to teach you how to behave like an adult. You are the one who constantly flouts my teachings.’
‘I don’t want you be my teacher. I want you to be my sister. Is that so much to ask? Have you forgotten how?’
Celestia stands and glares at her sister. ‘How dare you say I haven’t been a good sister. I have done nothing but support and guide you since our parents left. I even allowed you to date that pest! This is how you repay my good nature? Have you learned nothing?’
‘I have learned something,’ Luna snorts. ‘I learned that I will have to take action into my own hooves if I want results.’ She turns around. ‘I am throwing my party, whether you like it or not.’
Luna starts storming away. A magical field surrounds her.
‘Get back here,’ Celestia snaps. ‘I am not through with you yet.’
‘Let me go! I have work to attend to.’
‘There will be no party since you are banished to your room until you learn some responsibility.’
‘Yes, take away my no responsibility to teach me about responsibility.’ Luna claps her hooves. ‘Mares and gentlecolts: my sister, the great teacher.’
‘Shut up! You’re stupid.’
‘Name calling? I thought you said I was the foal.’
Celestia marches from the throne. ‘You’re stupid and dumb, and I’m in charge so go to your room, stupid head!’
‘Wow. I thought she was exaggerating,’ James mumbles.
‘Oh, great,’ Celestia moans. ‘You’re embarrassing me in front of your staff. Very mature, sister.’
‘I did not know they were here,’ Luna retorts. ‘But at least somepony else will know how impossible you are being.’
‘Me?! Impossible?! HMPF!’
Celestia turns, accidentally slapping Luna with her tail. Luna growls and gives her sister a small push.
Celestia gasps. ‘She attacked me first! You all saw it!’
‘You slapped me with your tail!’
‘You hit me!’
‘I barely nudged you.’ Luna lets out a loud groan. ‘Can I just go to my room?’
‘Oh, you can start a fight, but you can’t finish it.’
‘I don’t want to fight anymore,’ Luna sighs. ‘I’ll forget about my party if you just start treating me fairly.’
‘Very grown up. You don’t stand up for something you want and just go to your room to cry about it. Well, go ahead and cry, you big baby. Big crybaby Luna.’
Luna pushes her sister again. ‘There! That is a real shove!’ She turns away. ‘I’m really leaving!’
Celestia growls and knocks Luna to the ground, knocking off her crown. ‘You want to shove me! Prepare for consequences!’ She pushes Luna as she tries standing. ‘You big dummy.’
Luna tries getting up, but Celestia pushes her again. The downed princess growls. Her eyes flash and her coat briefly appears black. She swings a hoof and punches Celestia’s muzzle. The older princess tumbles back and hits her head on her throne. Dusk gasps, but James holds her back from helping.
‘I hate you!’ Luna shouts, standing. ‘I don’t want to live on this planet anymore!’
Celestia picks herself up. She touches her face and notices blood coming from her nose. She growls. ‘That can be arranged!’
Celestia charges a spell on her horn. Subconsciously, she taps into the powers of the Elements of Harmony in her and Luna’s crowns. Celestia shoots a beam of light that hits Luna in the back. The younger princess screams then disappears. Celestia stands, panting, blood dripping from her nose. The magic fades from her horn and the Elements of Harmony.
‘Princess,’ Dusk gasps. ‘What did you do?’
Celestia blinks. The realization of what she just did hits her. ‘Luna? Luna! Luna, I’m sorry!’ She gallops over and picks up Luna’s crown. ‘Come back, Luna. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Luna...’
Dusk reaches for Celestia, but James pulls her back. He shakes his head. Dusk tries breaking free, but James does not let go.
‘We don’t want to be here,’ James warns. ‘Trust me.’
‘But she needs somepony right now.’
‘Okay. Let me word it another way. I can’t be here right now if we want the universe to exist.’
James pulls Dusk. She looks back at Celestia then follows as James gallops away. Twilight deactivates her perception filter and bumps her coltfriend.
‘Why couldn’t we stay?’
‘You know how I occasionally go back and give Celestia hell?’
Twilight growls. ‘Yeah...’
‘Well, let’s just say that before I get better at it, somepony is going to show up and start yelling at her for banishing her sister.’
They stop outside of the TARDIS, and James lets them in. Twilight punches James in the shoulder then goes to start the TARDIS.
‘You went back and teased her?’ the princess snorts.
‘Like I said, I wasn’t that good at it yet.’ James pulls a lever and the ship powers up. He sits in a nearby seat. ‘It was horrible. I yelled at her, and she just stared at me through her tears. If she hadn’t expended all of her magic, I would have been up there right now too.’
Twilight trots around the console and punches James again. ‘You’re a monster.’
‘I know...’ James sighs and stares at the floor. ‘Once I came to my senses, we went to Luna’s room and talked. Remember how it looked like Nightmare Night?’ Twilight nods. ‘Celestia was the one who started the holiday. She wanted some way to honor her sister.’
‘But the statue in the Everfree?’
‘You think Chrysalis’ mother was the only thing Nightmare Moon sent back?’
Twilight sighs and sits besides James. ‘I still can’t believe Celestia acted like that.’
‘Who better to remind her how to be a sister than herself?’
Twilight moans and cuddles up to James. ‘You’re still an ass for what you did to Celestia.’
‘Why do you think I try to make it up to her every chance I get?’
Twilight giggles. ‘And that is why we all love you.’
Luna looks up from her computer when she hears a TARDIS materializing. She turns to see a new door on her wall. She laughs and waits for the door to open. Twilight steps out, much to Luna’s surprise. The younger princess trots over and hugs the Princess of the Night. James leans against the doorway and smiles.
‘This is most surprising, Twilight Sparkle,’ Luna says, returning the hug.
‘I couldn’t give you a hug earlier, so I’m hugging you now,’ Twilight explains.
‘Earlier? What are you talking about?’
Twilight lets go and smiles. ‘Nothing. I’m just glad you are here and happy.’
Luna looks up at James then back at Twilight. ‘If you keep spending time together, you’ll become the same pony.’ She laughs. ‘I’ll even officiate the wedding, in that case.’
Twilight and James blush and kick the ground. Luna laughs.
‘We should be going,’ James says. ‘I promised Del I would help her with a school project.’
Twilight nods. She goes to the TARDIS and looks back. ‘If you ever need something, don’t be afraid to ask. A true, true friend helps a friend in need.’
Luna laughs again. ‘I’ll keep that in mind, Twilight Sparkle.’
The TARDIS powers up and disappears. Luna smiles and goes back to playing her game. Celestia pokes her head in.
‘I don’t want to go to meetings today,’ the older princess says. ‘Want to get Philomena and have a picnic on the garden?’
Luna groans. ‘When will you learn to be more responsible, dear sister?’
