//------------------------------// // Embarrassments and Adolescents // Story: Displaced // by LeafBug //------------------------------// There is a certain point of consciousness that many people experience in the lengthy process of waking up from a comfortable rest; what many would call 'half asleep'. It is in this state that one does not so much think as much as they simply are. We join Albus in this state of mind, quite content to simply laze in his impromptu bed. It was the first surface moderately acceptable for sleeping that he had rested upon for days, so he was very unwilling to give up his momentary comfort. In fact, the only reason he was even slightly awake at the moment was because of some commotion a few minutes ago, but that had died down. At least, so he thought. Soon enough, his comfortable rest was being disturbed by something poking him; as well as some kind of noise that he was too dead to the world to comprehend the meaning of at the moment. In an attempt to stop the uncomfortable sensations, he reached out in front of him, and, upon feeling something, pulled that something into his arms and curled up around it. He then registered some kind of squeaking noise, another noise somewhat akin to *FWOMPH*, and something poking him. Again. Though this time it was much more static, something stiff was poking him in the stomach. His sleep addled brain decided to ignore it in favor of something much better; specifically the fact that whatever he had grabbed was warm and soft. Giving a strange low growling noise that wasn't quite purring, the gryphon cuddled more into his new sleeping pal and once again acted upon instincts that he didn't have before. Namely, he started grooming whatever he was holding. With his tongue. Like a cat. Apparently the feeling of his barbed tongue was too much for whatever he was holding; as it started making strange squeaky noises and began squirming about, attempting to get out of his embrace. The sound of incredibly loud laughter jostled him awake, and he blearily attempted to comprehend the situation as he lost his grip on what he now registered as a pink and yellow blur. As he blinked to try and focus his eyes, the blur quickly bolted upstairs, soon followed by the sound of running water. “Gee, Alby, didn't know ya liked her like that! Bahahahahahah!” said the laughing voice. “Wha's huh...?” was his incredibly articulate and intelligent reply. That seemed to just make the voice laugh even harder, and after shaking his head roughly, he opened his eyes to see Rainbow Dash rolling on Fluttershy's floor in laughter. He could only ask, “...What just happened?” After settling down, though still giving into bouts of giggles every once in a while, Dash explained how she had come over to check up on him. After being invited inside by Fluttershy, they had attempted to wake him up. Or, at least, Fluttershy did. And that's when things got awkward. If his feathers were transparent like a pony's fur, Albus' face would have been bright red. “So you're saying I...?” “Yup.” “Oh wow...” he held his face in his claws, and noted the sound of running water had stopped sometime during their conversation. “Hey, look at it this way; I guess I was wrong about her not being interested!” This statement confused him to no end, so he simply asked, “What?” “Oh, you didn't notice? I won't spoil it for you, then,” Rainbow Dash replied slyly, giving him a wink before continuing with, “I'll give you a hint, did you notice something poking you?” “Yeah, but what does that have to do with-” he was cut off by a soft harrumph coming from the direction of the stairs. Turning to get a look at his hostess, he noticed that she was still a little bit wet, and... shivering a bit. “Are you alright Flutter-” he began before getting cut off by her again with, “Yes, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong.” Rainbow seemingly couldn't pass up the opportunity to jab at her with, “Water cold enough for ya, Fluttershy?” Suddenly, the yellow pony's face miraculously shifted colors to bright red, before oh-so-tactfully stuttering, “I, uh... I mean, I didn't- I think-” Wanting to save her any more embarrassment than he knew he had already caused her, Albus quickly took over with, “So, Dash. Any particular reason for this visit? Or are my masculine wiles just too much for you to resist?” Thankfully for her, Albus didn't notice Fluttershy's face turn an even deeper shade of red. Seemingly willing to drop the teasing, for now at least, Rainbow gave a snort at his 'masculine wiles' and retorted with, “Sorry buddy, but you're not that lucky. I just wanted to make sure everything was still peachy; plus it's too cold out to nap on a cloud, so there's that too.” “Nice to know that under ordinary circumstances napping on a cloud is higher on your list of priorities than knowing that I'm alright,” Albus quipped, giving a derisive snort of his own. Before Dash could reply to that, Fluttershy interjected with, “Doesn't the weather team need your help to clear up the leftover clouds from the storm, Dash?” Giving a start, Dash facehooved and rushed to the door, tossing out a, “Thanks for reminding me!” before hastily exiting the cottage. After an awkward pause, Albus turned to the owner of the house and started with, “So, uh... Fluttershy...” before trailing off. “Can, uh... Can we please just not talk about that for now?” the pegasus pleaded, still doing a rather impressive job of keeping her blood flushed to her face. “Sure thing,” he answered, eager to get away from that train of thought, trying to think of something to do. Fluttershy seemed quite relieved to no longer be focusing on the awkwardness of her wake up call, and began walking towards the kitchen, saying, “Breakfast will be ready soon, make yourself comfortable.” After being denied the opportunity to help her make the food – “That's quite fine, Albus. I can handle this myself,” she had said – the gryphon found himself staring at “A Guide to Equestrian Anatomy” once more. More specifically, the section on pegasi. Pegasus wings, to be even more exact. “...stimulation of the wings or extreme excitement may lead to the wings becoming stiff, and the muscles locking up. This phenomenon is commonly known as 'wing erection'; note that this happens most often when a pegasus is sexually stimulated or otherwise aroused, and can lead to...” ...I gave Fluttershy a wingboner. Of course. I don't know whether to be grossed out or flattered. On one hand, it was kind of gross that he had handled her in a manner that had effectively given her... well, a wingboner. On the other hand, it was really the first time he had had any real success in... sexually arousing a member of the opposite sex. Granted, she was another species, but... he wasn't exactly human anymore. I am what I identify as. Do I see Fluttershy like that? I... I don't know. Not really. She's obviously not 'just an animal', but... she's still a pony. I suppose if I ever got into a relationship here it would be based more on personality than looks, seeing as how most of the ponies just look kinda... weird to me. Seriously, those eyes bug me. Regardless. I keep saying that I can't hold these ponies to human standards; but I'm not even a human myself! At least, not anymore. Whatever. I suppose if the opportunity arose... I'd have to see. The circumstances would dictate my reaction, I guess. Just roll with it, yeah. Soon after this assertion of his plans, he heard the voice of his generous hostess call out from the kitchen, “Albus, it's time to eat.” How could I refuse? Ever eager to prevent feeling as hungry as he had just two days ago, the snow white gryphon meandered into the kitchen. Upon doing this, he saw a much more modest meal than the great assortment of foods that was last night's dinner. Of course, there was still fish, so he didn't really mind as long as he could eat something. “Looks good as always, Fluttershy,” he commented, chuckling, “You spoil me, girl.” Smiling at his praise, the homely pony replied, “Thank you, Albus. It's always nice to know that your efforts go appreciated, hmm?” Giving a nod at this, Albus was about to respond when he noticed something on the table. A certain opaque, white liquid, sitting unsuspectingly in a cup. Two cups, to be exact, meaning that there was one for him. Hmm... The reason he had noticed this was his reading. You see, gryphons, being birdlike in nature, gave birth through eggs. Because of this, female gryphons did not, in fact, have mammary glands; meaning that a gryphon egret did not nurse on its mother's milk. An interesting fact is that most humans, barring lactose intolerant ones, are only able to drink milk because of two factors: Their mammalian nature and a chance genetic mutation that happened to become widespread. Albus, being a gryphon, only had about half of the 'being a mammal' going for him, and none of the mutation. And yet, even though he knew all of this, why was he about to try what he was about to try? The answer is a simple one, and anyone who has difficulty comprehending the behavior of men should pay attention right now: Because he's a guy. And guys are stupid. Seeing her guest staring at the glass of milk, Fluttershy queried, “Is something wrong, Albus?” Giving a 'Hmm' in thought, Albus said, “Just a moment, I want to try something...” before walking over to one of the glasses, picking it up, and downing it. Fluttershy seemed confused for a moment before she seemed to realize something, and shocked horror dawned on her face when she realized what had just happened. Albus, for his part, was mulling over the rather horrible taste of the milk – tangible even through his deadened sense of smell – and was grimacing when suddenly his stomach gurgled. And not in a good way. That was quick. Oh god. Eyes widening, he could only shout one thing before he clamped his beak shut and ran for the bathroom, “Fire in the hole!” Weaving around Fluttershy with surprising grace, the gryphon darted upstairs, bolting into the bathroom and quickly lifting the lid of the toilet. Fluttershy winced as the horrifically loud sounds of Albus' retching filled the air of the cottage. After establishing that his stomach had nothing left to give, a fact made known by some five minutes of dry heaving, Albus slumped to the floor, thankfully clean of any bile... or 'spilled milk'. “Are you alright, Albus?” Fluttershy's concerned query came from the doorway. Albus let out a rather pathetic groan; quite unfitting for a regal beast of his size, really. He felt arms wrap around his neck, his chest and shoulders being much too broad, as Fluttershy gave him a tentative hug, “Oh I'm so sorry, I should have remembered that gryphons can't drink milk like ponies can! If I hadn't been so inattentive none of this would have happened and-” Albus cut her off, saying, “It wasn't your fault, Fluttershy, and any insisting to the contrary isn't going to fly with me. I knew perfectly well what I was doing, I just did it for... future reference, if you will.” He felt a hoof lightly bop him in the back of the head before Fluttershy muttered into the scruff of his neck, “Well don't do it again. I don't like it when my friends are sick...” Suddenly, she gave a gasp and practically threw herself off of him, stuttering all the while, “Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I mean- I shouldn't have, that-” Picking himself up, Albus simply rested a claw on her small snout, prompting her to give a small squeak and stop talking. “Stop doing that. It's not like I'm going to be mad at you for hugging me; you can get away with much more than you think, especially if you think I apparently detest comfort.” he calmly stated, looking her straight in the eye. After removing his claw, Fluttershy blinked a bit and nodded, apparently not knowing what to say. “Now, how about you go downstairs and eat your breakfast before it gets cold or something? I'll be right down to join you,” he paused, making a somewhat disgusted face, “Just as soon as I wash my beak of any.... milk.” Fluttershy gave a small start, saying, “Oh! Right, the food...” before quickly returning downstairs. Shaking his head at his friend-... yes, friend's somewhat odd behavior, Albus set about scouring his beak of any putrid residue left by his latest inverse bowel movement. Upon finishing that, the gryphon meandered back downstairs and into the kitchen, muddling over how much he hated milk now. Walking into the designated dining are of the house, Albus noticed Fluttershy muttering something to herself, playing with her food a bit disinterestedly. “Hey 'Shy,” he greeted, taking his spot at the table, hoping that his stomach had settled enough to actually eat. She looked up at him, staring at him for a moment with a strange expression before returning to her regular self; which means fussing over her guest. “Are you sure you can eat right now, Albus? I wouldn't want you to have to go through...” she paused and glanced at her milk, “That again.” Albus simply shrugged. And with that, the pair began and finished their meal in quiet companionship. In fact, the two of them stayed silent throughout washing the dishes as well. And even after that chore was done, they still didn't say anything. Albus found it to be stifling. As they sat quietly in the den, Albus turned to Fluttershy, and found that she was looking at him as well, seemingly about to say something. “Al-” And that was as far as she got before someone knocked loudly on the door. Both of them jumped in their seats, unprepared for the sudden noise. Fluttershy quickly recovered from her initial shock and suddenly had a look of realization on her face. “Oh dear, I keep forgetting things today... I can't believe I didn't remember...” she said, walking to the door. He got out of his seat and began walking towards the door as well, but before Albus could voice his question of what exactly she had forgotten, Fluttershy had opened the door and said, “It's good to see you, Rarity. I had almost forgotten I had promised to take care of the girls today.” Rarity? Didn't I meet he- His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a large, multicolored blur racing into the house with the sound of many clopping hooves on wood. “What the-” was all he could get out before three small ponies materialized where the blur once was immediately in front of him. “Woooooooow,” they said in sync, having to look almost straight up to see his face from their place at his claws. Taking in their appearance, Albus noted once more that ponies had very odd color schemes. For example, an orange pony with a purple mane and tail. Or a caramel-ish pony with a red mane and tail. Or a white one with a kind of swirl of pink and purple. These odd examples were, unsurprisingly, the trio of puny ponies parked patiently by his forelegs. “Oh! Fluttershy, dear, you didn't tell me you had company over!” came a familiar posh voice from the doorway, “You never struck me as the type to have a coltfriend in secret.” the voice teased the shy pony. Before the now red and very flustered Fluttershy could dig herself further into that hole, Albus quickly called out, “Not a colt, Miss Rarity.” “Hmm? I've heard that voice somewhere, I know it...” he could hear Rarity say, and upon being invited in by the yellow pegasus of the house, the lady in question gazed upon Albus for the second time. “Oh! How could I ever forget the absolute gentlefowl I met just a short while ago? It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Vires,” Rarity said, much to Fluttershy's confusion. “You two have met before?” she asked, embarrassment forgotten. “Mmn, yes, but only briefly. And under less... fortunate circumstances, I'm afraid.” Albus answered, frowning a bit at the memory. Rarity nodded and seemed to be about to comment on this when she happened to gaze at the clock, and gasped, “Oh, drat! I'm terribly sorry to run out on you like this, dears, but I simply must be going! I have a terribly important client from Canterlot visiting in an hour, and everything must be just so!” she said hurriedly, throwing out a “Ta ta!” over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her. Hearing a yawn coming from the general vicinity of the floor, Albus looked down and saw the three... fillies, yeah, that was it, looking quite bored. To be honest, I totally forgot about you three. Uh... oops. Seizing the opportunity to make a, hopefully, good impression on the young ponies, he cleared his throat and said to them, “Sorry about that. Boring adult stuff and all that. Anyway, the name's Albus; who might you three be?” That seemed to work, as immediately the triplet perked up, with, “Call me Scootaloo!” “Mah name's Apple Bloom!” and “I'm Sweetie Belle!” coming from the orange, caramel... yellow... whatever, and white one respectively. “And together we're...” Scootaloo added, pausing for dramatic effect, “THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” they blasted in stereo, making both of the adults in the room cringe a bit, and actually knocking Albus onto his haunches. I think my ears are bleeding. Or... ear hole things. Whatever they're called. Before he could get the chance to reply, they immediately started bombarding him with questions. Well, sort of, they kind of just... went on. It went something like this: “So what exactly are you, mister?” “Don't be a dunderhead, Sweetie, he's a gryphon!” “How'd ya know that?” “Dash told me about how she had a gryphon friend once, duh!” “So what do ya do for a livin', Mister Gryphon?” “Oh! I bet he's some kind of cool adventurer!” “No, I bet he's in the Royal Guard in Canterlot!” “Can gryphons get into the Royal Guard?” “Ah dunno, maybe we could ask Twilight.” “Hey, how come you're all white like that?” Of course, the entire time, the three children were running about, forming a weird kind of stampede circle around the gryphon. And Albus would have been fine replying, but there was one problem. STOP STEPPING ON MY T- OW! TAIL! I'm sure you can infer what was happening. The albino was having a very difficult time keeping his beak shut and not mauling the innocent ponies, but it was getting exponentially harder with every time they smashed his tail underneath their incredibly hard hooves. He would have stopped them earlier, but he feared that if he attempted to talk he would only scream out the horrible noise that was slowly building in his throat – which would have sounded like a low, snarling growl had the CMC not been overriding all noise in the room –; and if he tried moving to stop them physically he would probably use a bit more claw than necessary. Fluttershy, of course, was trying to settle them down the entire time, but her meek voice was getting drowned out by the excited fillies' rabble. Just as he was about to snap from his tail getting stomped on for the hundredth time in quick succession, a commanding voice suddenly shouted out, “Enough!” Everyone in the room jumped, bar the one who shouted, and Albus' snarl became a pained yelp as Apple Bloom tripped and landed on his tail, again. The room was suddenly silent as everyone turned to see a rather angry and, somehow even worse, disappointed looking Fluttershy. Oh dear god in heaven please don't Stare at me again. Thankfully for Albus, the yellow pegasus' soul-wrenching Stare was directed not at him, but at the unwittingly guilty fillies. “Apple Bloom, please get off of my tail...” Albus said in a tight voice, wanting to get her moving before she was too paralyzed in fear. Thankfully, she complied, and Fluttershy picked it up from there, “I'm disappointed in you three,” she began, no longer using a loud or angered voice, but instead quite calm and... well, horribly disappointed. It was that tone of voice that a parent uses when they don't get angry at you, but somehow it would be better if they did. “I gather that you don't realize what exactly was happening to make me so disappointed?” she continued matronly, the tiny ponies only shaking their heads uniformly as a reply. “You were stepping on my tail. A lot.” Albus interjected dryly. With that, Fluttershy's Stare seemed to give an unvoiced command to the three, and they all flinched visibly before saying, “We're sorry Mr. Albus...” in unison. Feeling that their punishment, and it was certainly a punishment, had gone on long enough, Albus sighed and said, “Apology accepted, girls. Just don't let it happen again.” When they all nodded eagerly, Fluttershy quickly reverted to her normal calm self – as opposed to her disturbingly calm self – and ushered the Crusaders outside to play before sighing tiredly. Walking towards the door, and by extension Fluttershy, he placed a claw on her shoulder and said, “Thanks for that, Fluttershy. But I think I'm going to stop imposing on your hospitality for a while, now,” the pink maned pony looked like she was about to protest, but was silenced by a look from Albus, “I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, but the sooner I fly the coop the better; I can't become too reliant on you, now can I?” He had said that last bit in a lighthearted manner, but Fluttershy still frowned a bit. However, instead of saying anything against his course of action, she sighed again and said, “Alright, Albus. Just know that I'll be here to help if you need it; I don't want to hear about you sleeping in a tree or something, do I make myself clear?” Well, I already did that, but okay. Nodding, he simply said, “I'll keep that in mind, 'Shy,” before removing his claw and exiting the cottage. Someone cleared the path... Huh. Guess that makes my life easier. And indeed, someone had cleared the path between Ponyville proper and the humble home of the town's premier animal caretaker quite thoroughly. Beginning the walk between the two locations, he noticed Sweetie Belle waving at him from his right, her head barely above snow level. Waving back, he saw the humorous spectacle of the other two Crusaders beaning her in the back of the head with snowballs while she was distracted. Chuckling to himself, he continued his miniature journey while noting the following fact: Even after all that's happened today, it's still only 11 o'clock. This town is insane.