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// Chapter Fifteen: Drunken Confessions, Singing, Shenanigans, and A Surprising Twist// Story: Living the Good Life// by Aetherpony//------------------------------//
W-when the truth is *hic* found to be lies,” She sings in a drunken stupor. She sways about, nearly falling down in the process. “And all the joy, w-w-within you *hic* dies.” Lyra ends up getting tangled in the microphone’s wire, but she still manages to stand and keep singing.
“Don’t you want some-some-somepony to love? Don’t you need some *hic* pony to LOVE!” She shouts out the last bit of her song. The alcohol has obviously made her a terrible singer. Her voice changes pitch far too often and most of her words come out as slurring your hiccups. You can’t let her embarrass herself any further.
You pull yourself out of Eris’ grip, “Hey!” she exclaims before watching you make your way to the stage. Lyra appears to have forgotten the words so she just hums off key. You grab hold of the hoof holding the Applejack Daniels bottle. This causes her to stop and look your way; she wobbles before narrowing her eyes. She tries desperately to get a good look at who’s holding her.
“HEY what’s the big idea? Oh my goo-goo- *hic*! Hi Annnnnon!” Lyra yells into the microphone before giggling madly. Without waiting for her to say anything else you untangle her and drag her off stage. Eris and Screwball follow you to a nearby booth both snickering like mad.
“Whoa, she’s so gone!” Screwball exclaims before taking a seat across from you and Lyra. Eris joins her sister in the booth before looking over Lyra too.
“Anon, why’d you take her off the stage? She was great entertainment.” Eris pretends to be utterly disappointed.
You glare in response, “Because I’m not going to let a friend make an ass of herself,” you turn to Lyra and see that she’s looking up at you, her body still swaying even while sitting still. “What’s got you drunk and singing alone on stage? Thought you’d have found a stallion,” you try to keep Lyra still, but she just won’t have it.
“I’m alone!” Lyra shouts happily, “But that’s okay I got something that’ll make it aaaaall better.” She adds while snuggling her Applejack Daniels bottle.
“Well, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that,” you say out of sincerity. Lyra waves a hoof dismissively before turning up the bottle and drinking some of its contents. When she pulls away she waves a hoof to you.
“N-n- *hic* stallions don’t like an ecc- eccentric, yes that’s the *hic* word, mare.” Lyra giggles joyfully, “Besides, stallions lack something.” Lyra adds while staring at the table in a trance.
“And what’s that?” you ask. Your question is answered when Lyra nuzzles the hand you have on the table.
“They don’t have haaands, digits, fingers, and bare skiiiin.” Lyra drags the words out as she goes from nuzzling to lazily licking your fingers. You pull your hand away before wiping away the pony slobber. “If a stallion can’t *hic* rub my tummy like you can, w-what’s the point?!” Lyra eyes fill to the brim with tears, and then dry heaves before covering her mouth with a hoof.
“Oh gods no, please no,” you try to get away from Lyra. Your gasp when she puts a hoof on your shoulder to steady herself. You’re unable to get away. Then Lyra dry heaves yet again. You’re forced to bear it as Lyra lets loose a stream of brown liquid into your lap. Three streams of vomit and booze are let out before Lyra starts dry heaving yet again. It seems as if she’s done vomiting, at least you hope so. The strong smell of stomach acid and liquor invades your senses. If you didn’t have a strong stomach you’d be puking with her.
Eris and Screwball burst out into fits of laughter. Eris laughs so hard she starts hitting the table with her fist. Screwball looks like she’s crying from it. You can feel your anger begin to boil. It’s as if exterior forces are at work, almost like you’re cursed for wanting to have a good day or something.
Discord has to be behind your misfortune, he just has to. There is no way things would turn out this bad without his claw playing its part in this. A flurry of angry thoughts and reactions flash through your mind in a blur, each seeming better than the next. Your fingernails dig into the table…
“Luna! there it is again!” Celestia exclaims as she looks to the planet. Her eyes are filled with fear at what could possibly be occurring in Equestria.
“What is it sister? Is that creature angry again?” Luna asks as she trots over to stand with her sister.
Celestia nods, “Yes, it’s not nearly as pronounced as it was around Fluttershy, Rarity, and Twilight, but still.” Celestia seems to gag before shuddering and turning away from the planet. “Feeling that rage is like drinking poison,” She starts to trot away, but instead she freezes in place before looking to the planet again, “and it’s gone?” Her confusion is apparent…
You’ve managed to suppress your anger before you did something you’d regret. Lyra’s depressed and she drank a little too much, that’s all. Don’t get angry, just because you can feel bile and liquor on your lap, don’t get irate. You don’t want to repeat what you did to Fluttershy; you won’t allow yourself to go there again. You take a deep breath before turning to Lyra. She’s stopped dry heaving and is now sobbing loudly.
“Oh Celestia, I ruined everything!” Lyra shouts through her sobbing. She latches onto your shirt and soaks it in her tears. “I’m-I’m so *hic* sorry!” she cries hugging you tighter than before. You feel disgusting, your pants are ruined beyond belief, but you can’t get irate with this unicorn. Instead of yelling and berating her you ask:
“Can you walk?” she looks up to you with tear filled eyes before shaking her head. You sigh again before getting to your feet, without waiting for Lyra’s confirmation you grab hold of her and pick her up. You cradle her in her arms.
With her secure in your grip you look to the still laughing Eris and Screwball, “I’m taking her home. I’ll be back after I clean up.” You don’t believe they heard you and you can’t find reason to care. You carry Lyra out of the karaoke bars, ignoring the wild snickering of both the patrons and your room mates to the best of your abilities.
Lyra says nothing as you carry her to her home. She doesn’t even bother to make eye contact. You ignore the murmurs of various ponies as you walk past. A few giggle and others point at you but you’re more focused on getting her out of the public’s scrutinizing eye than what they think.
After a few minutes of walking you finally make it to her front door. You nudge it open with a foot before stepping inside. Wasting no time, you carry Lyra up her stairs and into her bathroom. Hopefully she’s sobered up some since you started.
“Here, brush your teeth while I get out of these pants.” You set her down in her down in front of her sink. She doesn’t respond, but she gets her toothbrush and toothpaste out all the same. As you take special care to remove your pants you realize that her vomit managed to soak through the denim. You’re going to have to clean all of your clothes and bathe. The smell is overwhelming, but you manage to maintain control of your bile.
“Don’t turn around.” You order as you set your pants down and strip out of the rest of your clothes. You turn to find Lyra looking down into her sink bowl while brushing her teeth. “I’m going to toss my clothes, after that I’m going to shower. You puked all over me and I carried your flank home. I think I’ve earned it.” Lyra merely nods in response before rinsing her mouth out and reaching for mouth wash under her sink. At least she’s only swaying every so often as she takes care of herself. You figured you’d have to help her brush.
With your clothes gathered in your arms you make your way out and back down the stairs. Upon entering the kitchen you find the garbage can. It’s unfortunate Lyra and Bon-Bon have no washer and dryer. It’d make things so much easier. Then again, ponies don’t normally wear clothes so what sense would it make to have those appliances?
But it didn’t matter, as you doubted the stains would come out regardless. Without putting any more thought into it you toss your clothes into the garbage can. As you walk back up the stairs you see Lyra brushing her teeth for a second time. Looks like she’s is trying to be thorough with her mouth cleaning. You find dental floss in her bathroom’s garbage can. You make your way to her bath tub and step inside it.
After pulling the clear shower curtain so Lyra can’t see within you get to work turning the handles. Once the water adjusts to an appropriate temperature you use Lyra’s shampoo and soaps in order to scrub away the stink and brown stains on your skin. You feel you spend a half an hour in there scrubbing away at your body diligently. After soaping down a good five times and shampooing twice you step out of the shower to find Lyra sitting there with a white towel in her front hooves.
“Here,” she trails off as she hands the towel to you. She’s keeping her gaze locked on her tile flooring.
“Thanks.” You say flatly before drying yourself off.
“I’m—“you cut her off.
“Sorry? Yeah you said that back when you threw up on me.” You finish off by wrapping the towel around your waist. It’s a bit short, it only covers from the waist to the knee, but it’ll work. It’s better than nothing. “Think you’ll make it to your bed?”
Lyra shakes her head. You reach out and pick her up yet again. After carrying her into her room and setting Lyra on her bed you turn to leave.
“Ya know, it’s funny. Well to me it is, anyway,” Lyra lies back on her bed. Your curiosity tempts you to turn around and you do so.
“What’s funny?”
“I wanted you to spend time with me today. Looks like I got what I wanted, but in a bad bucking way,” she rolls onto her side so she can face you, “See, Bon-Bon didn’t want me to be alone for Hearts and Hooves Day again, and because you were such a gentlecolt the other day Bon-Bon thought we’d make a cute couple.” You lean against her door frame and wait for her to continue.
“I thought you were really awesome that day. You didn’t walk away when Bon-Bon brought me up to you. You went out of your way to help both a pony and a filly you didn’t know. You acted really mature around Big Mac’s family, and you got me my money back. That tummy rub you gave me helped you out tremendously, can’t forget that.” Lyra finishes with a giggle.
“You going to get to the point Lyra?” You don’t feel like hearing her ramble on.
“I’m getting there, Anon,” Lyra sighs, “so cause Bon-Bon saw all those good qualities in you so she wanted me to set up something for today; said you’d be a stallion that’d help me grow up a little.” You shake your head. You guess that interspecies relationships aren’t abnormal on this world. Too bad for them you’re not a xenophile. Sure you’ve never been with a girl, but you’re not going to settle for a pony, or a Draconequus, or anything that isn’t a human for that matter.
At least Lyra isn’t beating around the bush here. “So I went to Twilight’s Library to see if you were in. When I didn’t get an answer I assumed I’d see you around town.” Lyra sits up, “I did see you. Unfortunately it was with Eris. From the way you were walking around with her I thought I was too late. So I sort of got depressed over missing my chance and decided to loosen up and enjoy the day.” Lyra finishes with a sheepish grin.
“And now here we are,” you say with an obviously forced grin.
Lyra snickers, “Yeah, I bucked up bad didn’t I?”
“Oh tremendously, you thought I would go for a pony. I’m not into, well, anything that isn’t human. Though I’m sure you didn’t know that since you saw me with Eris. Besides, I thought I made my point perfectly clear back at the café.” You explain while glaring at Lyra.
“Then why were you with Eris?”
“Because I was forced to. That is, until Eris explained a little something to me.” Of course Lyra wanted to know what you meant and you explained it. Eris and Screwball stealing the Elements of Harmony, forcing you to spend time with them in exchange for them, almost being forced into acting like a special somepony, how your day was fairing since then, and Eris telling you that you were going to be given the elements at the end of the day, regardless of how it went.
“Wow. You got screwed over pretty good didn’t you?” Lyra asks; you nod in response
“Yeah I did, still wanted to salvage the day with dancing, and apparently karaoke but—“
Lyra adds on to that, “Then I came along and bucked that up?” You don’t bother responding to her question. The answer should be apparent enough. She looks like she’s ready to cry again, but she’s able to keep herself together for the most part.
“Yeah, listen, I understand I don’t have a shot with a terrific guy, but did I lose a friend today too?” You see tears starting to form in her eyes. It’s now you realize you’re a slave to that expression.
“Yes to the first, and no to the second. You puking on me almost did it, but I’m looking past it because you explained yourself.” Lyra breathes a sigh of relief, “I’m not mad at how you feel about me though, in fact it’s flattering. Girls on my planet don’t even give me a second glance.” Lyra wipes away her tears and listens in.
“But,” Lyra starts, though you intervene.
“But, for the last time, you’re a pony and I’m a human. It’s not going to work out. There, I shouldn’t have to say this again.” Lyra makes no move to object to what you say, choosing to nod in understanding.
“Alright, but hey, at least we can still hang out. Right?” Lyra seems to be trying to salvage the situation.
“Yeah we can, but I’m not sleeping in your bed again.”
Lyra groans, “But you were so comfy!”
You shake your head, “Too bad, Lyra. If I spend the night at your place I’m crashing on that couch.”
Lyra snorts before shooting you a mock glare. “Fine, but I still get tummy rubs.”
“We’ll see about those. Now if you’ll excuse me,” you say before turning around.
“Wait!” She leaps off of her bed and wobbles a bit before trotting over to her closet. With a bit of magic she opens her door, pulls out a white robe, and floats it over to you. You turn and grab hold of it.
“That outta do better than that little towel,” You’re about to point out that the bath robe she gave you is too small, but with a spell she increases its size. “You know, I could just magic the vomit and stains out of your clothes.” You shake your head before putting on your new robe.
To you it wouldn’t matter if she got the stains out of your clothes. Something blew chunks on them, there’s no way you’re wearing them again. If you could you’d burn them. As you tie the string around your robe to fasten it you can’t help but think that Lyra could have used this spell on your favorite hoodie. If you were to get it from Pinkie now you’d be taking back a gift.
And people who take back gifts suck; you don’t suck. Speaking of which, you need to have a talk with Pinkie. She had said something about making you her special somepony too. Looks like you’re going to get to shoot two mares down today instead of one, if you see Pinkie again today that is. You haven’t seen her since the mushroom cloud incident.
“Thanks for the robe Lyra,” you promptly take your leave.
“You’re welcome,” she whispers. She winces when you slam her door shut. When she hears you leave she gets back in bed and curls up. Your walk from Lyra’s place to the karaoke bar is filled with relative silence. The sun has started to set and a good portion of the ponies out and about today have gone home.
You feel that you were able to suppress your anger quite well. After all, you didn’t blow up at her, you managed to do nothing more than slam her doors and take her robe. And you were able to salvage your socks and shoes so you don’t have to walk around barefooted. Your mind occasionally wanders upon Lyra as you make your way back. That look of disappointment and her tears. You couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty for how things transpired, but she’s going to have to deal with what she did and what you said.
Besides, had Lyra been a human there would be no way you’d go for her. You don’t want a girl who’d go about drowning her sorrows in booze if things didn’t go her way. That and having your clothing ruined by her bile was not enjoyable in the slightest. It took everything you had to repress your anger and not blow up at Lyra. It didn’t help that your head was pounding the entire time. It looks like that’s been happening every time you try to keep yourself from blowing up at something.
You’re going to be spending time away from Lyra; you know that much. A good week or two ought to do it. You’re still dreading that you’re going to have to tell Pinkie virtually the same thing you told her. Pinkie appears to be a very elastic mare. She could bounce back from being told no, you’re sure of that.
With that thought you feel some of the weight being lifted off of your shoulders. As the karaoke bar comes into view you can’t help but wonder just what Eris and Screwball have been up to since you left. Upon entering you see that they stayed in the same general area. They’ve moved a booth over and are talking across from one another. No pony has made their way to the stage.
You have zero intention on getting up there. Instead you walk over to Eris and Screwball. As soon as you take a seat next to Eris their eyes are on you.
“So, did you have fun bringing Lyra back?” Screwball giggles, you feel the lid of your repressing jar pop for just a second.
You slam your hands on the table, stand up, and shout, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Screwball shrinks away from you and starts to shake.
“I-I’m sorry.” Fear is ever present in her voice. You turn to see Eris open her mouth to talk.
“And I don’t want to hear a God damn thing out of your mouth either! You could have helped, but no, sitting and laughing at me is just fine I guess.” Eris’ ears flatten before she looks away.
“Yeah, but still, you don’t have to get like this about it,” you sit back down and rest your hands on the table.
“Now I’m going to sit here, and then I’m going to drink some god damn whiskey until I can’t see straight.” You growl while tapping your fingers on the table impatiently. It takes a few minutes but a stallion comes trotting over to you with a list in hand.
After selecting your drink the waiter walks away and you go back to waiting. Screwball and Eris stare at the table, both of them have their ears flat, and their faces retain downtrodden expressions. They are actually feeling guilty for making fun of you. You’d enjoy it if you weren’t so angry. If you could get a few drinks in you then your rage might be a thing of the past.
Two minutes pass before the waiter comes back with your bottle. With a quick “thank you” you take it out of his hooves, open the top, and take a hefty swig. The taste of oranges and alcohol burn the back of your throat as you drink. It is a good burn. After you feel that you’ve drunk enough you remove the sweet bottle of elixir from your lips and exhale. Slowly but surely your body begins to heat up. It started from your belly and soon worked its way throughout the entirety of your form.
While you enjoy the heat radiating from within, Screwball and Eris whisper among themselves. They glance your way while talking to make sure you aren’t listening in. They nod before Eris puts a clawed digit to your temple. For a moment you feel something as cold as ice pierce through your skull. While there’s no pain your jaw is frozen in place.
You feel a slight sting when she pulls her digit back. After that she and Screwball teleport away; leaving you to your booze. While you take the occasional draft you swear you can feel something snaking along the back of your skull, you chalk it up to the alcohol. You take a few more swigs before realizing they have left.
“G-good riddance,” you slur. Your eyes lazily look about the bar. There are a dozen ponies sitting around as couples. You look to your empty seats. Thirty minutes pass, your mind is a blur of various thoughts. Some of them come across Earth. You start to think that even though your life was terrible there at least it was familiar.
There were times where walking around Ponyville gave you a huge headache. The color scheme did little to help your eyes. Everything was so bright and vibrant here. It didn’t help that you were the only one of your kind. There were some ponies you were able to click with here, but you couldn’t help feeling like an outsider the whole time. That’s because you are an outsider. You’re an alien on this planet, an extinct species. You’re all alone…
A wave of depression rolls over you. You look to the ponies in the bar again and sigh to yourself. It looks like booze is your only chance at a familiar relationship. You hold your nectar of the gods and rub your cheek against the bottle.
“Y-you won’t judge me will you?” When you set your bottle down you find that Screwball and Eris have returned. The two are sporting wide grins. Eris leans in and whispers.
“Heeey Anon?” She asks, her muzzle a little too close for comfort.
“Y-you here to make fun of me again?” You try to take another drink, but Eris’ claws grab hold of your wrist. She stops you from downing any more of your whiskey. You shoot her an angry glare, “I demand an explanation.”
“Alright, see we were thinking you’re probably like the best singer out there.” Screwball giggles quietly while Eris tries to butter you up. You, being as inebriated as you are, think she’s being honest. “So what we were thinking is that you should get up on stage and sing a little something for us. Ya know it’ll get your mind off things, and you’ll have a blast up there.” Eris is making this sound really tempting to you.
“You really think so?” Maybe she’s right. It seems like you have the most fun when you’re doing something that doesn’t involve moping around. Though it could be a trick, if it is you’re not sure if you could handle it. You would explode worse than you did with Fluttershy.
Though the booze is doing wonders for your anger. Instead of it you’re feeling crushing depression and loneliness! You get to your feet and wobble for a moment. You drank a little too much too fast. Eris and Screwball help you make your way to the stage. A stool has been placed there so patrons can sit while singing.
When you take a seat Eris places the microphone in your hands. You look over the foreign object for a moment before turning to the small monitor sitting next to you on the ground. You didn’t even notice Eris brush a claw up against the monitor. It glows purple for a few moments before fading. When you look to the booths you see Eris and Screwball have already taken their seats.
“Woo come on Anon!” Screwball cheers, her grin getting wide and goofy. Eris applauds and a few pony patrons start to look your way. It’s probably because a hairless ape wearing a bath robe is about to sing. When the music starts to play on the monitor you do a double take. That saucy melody, it can’t be. There is no way these ponies should have this song.
It’s a song you heard on the radio back on your planet. The radio host played it so many times you memorized it word for word. When the lyrics appear on the monitor you don’t wait any longer.
“Man it’s a hot one,” you start, “Like seven inches from the midday sun. Well I hear your whispers and the words melt everyone.” Despite singing off key and slurring the ponies seem to lean in and listen. “But you stay so cold. My mu equita; my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa. You're my reason for reason. The step in my groove, yeah…” Here comes the bridge Anonymous, “And if you said this life ain't good enough I would give my world to lift you up I could change my life to better suit your mood. ‘Cause you're so smooth.”
You feel yourself weaving to the beat of the music, when it comes time for you to continue you do so. Your enthusiasm has reached new heights and you have your whiskey to thank for it.
“And it's just like the ocean under the moon. Well that's the same as the emotion that I get from you. You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah. Gimme your heart, make it real, or else forget about it!” You get off of your stool and lean on the microphone stand for support. Your stool ends up falling over but you can’t find a reason to care. The music is flowing through you and you must sing.
“Well I'll tell you one thing. If you would leave it'd be a crying shame. In every breath and every word I hear your name calling me out.” you try to place the mic back so you don’t have to hold it but you fail miserably. Oh well. you can hold it and sing into it that way, “Well out from the barrio you hear my rhythm on your radio. You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow. Turning you round and round…”
Unfortunately you start to lose your balance. You save yourself from falling and try to catch up to the music on the monitor.
“And if you said this life ain't good enough I would give my world to lift you up. I could change my life to better suit your mood. 'Cause you're so smooth.” You sing while picking up your stool. “And it's just like the ocean under the moon. Well that's the same as the emotion that I get from you. You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah. Gimme your heart, make it real, or else forget about it!” When the guitar solo kicks in a euphoria washes over you.
It’s as if everything, your anger, your sorrow, and your hopelessness begin to evaporate. Soon you’re left with nothing but warmth in your chest and the urge to sing.
“And it's just like the ocean under the moon. Well that's the same as the emotion that I get from you. You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth, yeah. Gimme your heart, make it real, or else forget about it!” Despite your obviously horrible singing the crowd seems to be moving with you.
“Or else forget about it… Or else forget about it… Oh, let's don't forget about it. Gimme me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it.” As the song comes to a close you repeat the last bits of it until the beat fades away. When you finish you take a breath before setting the mic on the stool.
You turn to face the crowd; they stare at you for a moment before the bar echoes from the sound of hooves clopping. Some of the ponies cheer, others hoot and holler. Eris is applauding while Screwball bounces in her seat with joy. You stumble off the stage and your waiter comes to your aid. He helps you keep your balance as you make your way back to your booth.
“Sir, that was amazing.” The waiter says with excitement apparent in his voice. He looks to you with a wide grin.
“But-but I was terrible,” You almost fall but the waiter catches you and puts you back on your feet. This stallion seems fairly strong.
“Who cares? Didn’t you see everypony moving? The only ponies we get in here are amateurs so we aren’t expecting much, but you had such raw emotion. You had these ponies loving every minute of it!” God this stallion is such a nice dude. Even though you sucked he’s buttering you up. That smile has to be forced, it just has to be.
As he sets you next to Eris he continues, “You need to come back again Anonymous. Seriously.” With that he departs.
“Well look who finally stopped being such a sour puss and had some fun?” Eris sports a cocky grin. Screwball nods rapidly. You stick out your tongue at the two of them. Very immature but at this point you’re so happy it doesn’t matter. You don’t want this to end, and it doesn’t have to. The night is young…
“Hey guys,” you motion for them to lean in, “We, should do more fun stuff.”
“Oh? Like what?” Screwball asks innocently.
“We should… we should go to Canterlot and mess with ponies,” You start to chuckle. You gasp feel Eris drape her lion’s arm over you and pull you over.
“Now that’s a plan I can get behind.” She smiles before snapping her clawed digits. You feel your body lurch as your forced to what you believe to be Canterlot. Luckily you grabbed your whiskey before the spell so you have your liquid courage. The three of you are now standing on top of the only passably normal building in the entire city.
You look down at the scene below, there are a few ponies about, but at this time of night there as many as you’d expect there to be considering the circumstances. You’re sure Eris and Screwball can think of a way around it…
Over the next three hours you direct Eris and Screwball to perform certain pranks, and they comply with their magic. Ponies are tossed out of their spring loaded homes; others are forced to run from chocolate rain as it pours on them in torrents.
“MY SUIT!” one screamed.
“MY MANE!” cried distressed mares. You ate it up; you don’t remember laughing this hard before in your life. The whiskey, your company, your situation, and mood… all of it culminated into one big cesspool of chaos, and you loved every single second of it.
Eris and Screwball were kind enough to bring forth bottles of vodka, whiskey, and many other types of liquor with their magic. Tonight just keeps getting better and better. The two join you in your drinking and soon the three of you are fairly inebriated, you more than them. When you order them to perform a chaotic prank they become sloppy.
The ponies aren’t being hurt, but the humiliation is a bit more severe. You watched cotton candy clouds rain syrup down on a small group of ponies in their pyjamas. At one point you found a stallion galloping down the streets. You have Eris grab him and levitate him over to your little group.
“What is this tom foolery!? I, Prince Blueblood, order you to set me down this instant!” You can see from his pure white coat and perfectly groomed mane and tail that this pony must be the nobility of nobilities. At least it makes sense to your drunken mind. “Did you not hear me you ugly pasty-faced street urchin? I demand you set me free at once!” Blueblood’s voice carries authority. He honestly thinks he can order you around. You find it funny.
“I dare-dare *hic* say old chaps! This pony thinks he can order us a-a- *hic* round.” Your face grows sinister and you rub your hands together to emphasize you’re plotting. “PREPARE THE CATAPULT!” You shout at the top of your lungs.
“CATAPULT!” Screwball drunkenly echoes. The little fan on the top of her hat begins to spin. She points her hoof to a section of the roof and a battering ram appears glowing in purple light. “Buck *hic* let me do it again!” She shouts. She dismisses the battering ram and on her second attempt she manages to bring forth an old worn catapult.
While it seems like it’ll fall apart at any moment, it will do. You have Eris tie Blueblood up and soon he’s set and primed to fire. You have Eris aim the catapult towards a building made completely out of lemon cake. You cackle madly. Eris and Screwball join in on your cackling.
“Oh, dear aunt, please don’t do this to me.” Blueblood pleads.
“What’s wrong BlueBALLS? You afraid to get dirty?!” you ask with a crazed grin. Blueblood’s eyes shrink to the size of pinpricks. When Eris has the catapult properly positioned you start the order. “READY! AIM! FIRE!” you point to the cake building. With a bit of magic Eris fires it. Blueblood’s screams are high pitched as he sails through the air.
“No not again!” he cries through his screams. They’re abruptly cut off when he flies right into the center of the cake building. The three of you chortle hysterically as he slowly slides down the side. Tears stream down from your eyes you’re laughing so hard.
When you finally calm down you give yourself a moment to catch your breath. At some point you ended up falling on your back. Eris and Screwball are lying in the same way. They have taken residence on either side of you. The three of you revel in your joy while gazing upon the stars. Unfortunately their majesty is lost to you. Each individual star seems to have three swimming around it in the sky.
Regardless the three of you stare up at the night sky in silence. It seems like you had enough fun to last a lifetime. You stay like this for about an hour or so before you finally get the urge to stand. You stumble to your feet. This catches the attention of your two companions.
“What, you ready to go Anon?” Screwball asks. You nod.
“Yeah I think it’s about time. It’s like, midnight.” Eris giggles. She floats up until she’s eye level with you.
“Aww, okay,” Screwball sounds disappointed about leaving, but it’s getting late and you’re starting to feel the fatigue from your day. You’re sure both of them are feeling it as well. With a snap of her griffin claws the three of you are transported to your apartment.
The three of you arrive in the living room, and it’s the same as when you left it this morning. You still can’t stand to look at the wall’s patterns.
“Well, that was fun and all guys, but I’m gonna—” Screwball passes out in the middle of the floor. Her body makes no transition between standing and falling flat on her face. It’s as if a few frames went missing in her animation.
You scoff, “Nice one Screwball.” You step around her and make your way down the hallway, Eris follows close behind. Neither of you feel the need to pick her up. She’ll be fine sleeping there. When you get to your door you turn to find Eris standing right behind you.
“Eris, you know, I think I was wrong about you two. I haven’t had fun like that in years.” You flash a tired smile. She looks away, silent. You don’t think too much about it you’re sure she gets the sentiment. You turn around and you reach out to open your door to your bedroom, but clawed fingers interlocking with the fingers of your free hand cause you to stop in your tracks.
You look down to find that Eris has grabbed hold of you. With a slight tug she turns you to face her. She takes a quick look towards living room before speaking in a soft, quiet tone.
"I had a great time too; breakfast, the dance, karaoke, and pranking ponies in Canterlot. We did a lot today didn’t we?" Eris’ voice trails off, her red eyes locking with your own. You can feel nervousness welling from within.
Your heart begins to pump faster than before. Every fiber of your being is screaming internally, begging you to break away from this moment. But for some odd reason you don’t. You feel almost locked in place. Being this close to her has allowed you to really take in her features. The way she's kept the fur and scales along her body well-kept and neat. The apparent danger that she presents; her chaotic nature; the way her white hair, while dishevelled, still manages to look unique…
The fact that you're starting to notice these subtle things about the chimera floating in front of you is only wanting you to end this as quickly as possible. You decide it'd be best to come up with a simple excuse; after all the activities of today have drained you of a good portion of your stamina. You flash a nervous grin before saying
“Yeah we did, I'm happy you enjoyed yourself, now if you'll excuse—" you stop in your tracks when you feel Eris’ lion paw wrap around the back of your neck. She leans in… you can smell the liquor on her breath. You catch a small glimpse of… something in her eyes, but you can’t but your finger as to what it might be.
Mischievous might be the best word to describe it. Before you could back away you feel her lion’s paw push your head forward. She doesn’t exert enough force to hurt you, but you’re not exactly backing out of this.
Your eyes widen and your heart seems to make a dramatic leap into your throat as she closes her eyes and leans in. The sensation of her soft, velvet like lips meets yours, which causes you to inhale sharply.
This was the last thing you were expecting at the end of your night. Conflict rages within the back of your head. You can’t tell whether you feel disgusted, or welcoming to this turn of events.
Your body begins to shiver as she lets go of your hand, only wrap it around you in a hug of sorts. Her lion’s paw trails a single claw down the back of your neck and onto your exposed skin you can feel the goose bumps form from the feeling of her claws against your bare flesh. All the while you can feel your robe coming undone.
She continues to trail it around your neck, stopping at your shoulder. She pinches the collar of your robe in between her digits. When she finally pulls back she looks to your chest rather than your eyes. Her cheeks are now tinted pink. She clears her throat after a moment.
“The elements are on your dresser, I trust you'll do what you feel is right." she backs away from you and twiddles her thumbs for a moment before looking up at you. “But you should pick me—I mean us, just sayin." She giggles before scratching the back of her head. Then she points a thumb back at her door. “Anyway, I should head to bed. Goodnight.”
And with that you watch as she floats towards her room. When she enters her tail wraps around the doorknob shutting it behind her. She leaves you, unknowing that this brief moment of affection has thrown you for a loop. Various thoughts and feelings rush through your mind.
Whatever peace being drunk had given you has disappeared. A few thoughts remain on self-disgust at having kissed something you've come to believe to be different. Something that you'd never lock lips with back on Earth. But you're not on Earth are you? And you're sure your first kiss could have been much worse. Who are you to complain? With that trivial mindset you sigh to yourself before entering your room.
As Eris said the trinkets that you've come to know as The Elements of Harmony lie carelessly upon your dresser. You glance over them for a few moments before removing your robe, socks, and shoes. As you get into bed you find yourself looking up at your ceiling for a few moments. You're hoping sleep would bring you into its gentle embrace, but you can’t stop thinking about what you’ve just done.
With the way things are now, how can it? The stakes of choosing between sides have been raised, and for once you really ask yourself… is choosing the ponies over Discord really such a good idea?