Any pony that wanted a good selection of clocks, especially ones that can take severe punishment, would visit the merchant Tick Tock at the Ponyville Square. Oddly enough, the store also stocked cups and given that her shop, Clocks and Cups, was next to Quills and Sofas and across from Plants and Ties, it somehow made sense.
Derpy landed in front of Clocks and Cups and nudged the door open. Inside the rustic shop, one side of the brown paneled walls had shelves of plain cups, mugs, teacups, wine glasses, and large pitchers. The mare had no plans to buy any of those items as she bought them by the bulk for obvious reasons. She hovered over to the other side where all sorts of timepieces hung on the wall from the plain white round clocks to more sophisticated wooden pieces of art and at the corner, stood a large grandfather clock which suddenly chimed 3pm. However, Derpy was more interested in the assortment of cuckoo clocks which went off all at once, making her giggle in fascination.
From the back of the store came an elderly brown mare with a faded blue mane. “Such magnificent pieces, aren’t they? Some of them came all the way from Germaney where the ponies there craft it with such care and precision. I took a visit there last year and I so much wanted to stay but, then again, somepony needs to bring these masterpieces out to the world of Equestria. Oh, but I’m prattling on. What can I do for you?”
“I need an alarm clock, Tick Tock” said Derpy.
The merchant adjusted her small, round glasses. “Of course. Let me check the back of the store. In the meantime, would you care for some complimentary tea and biscuits?”
Derpy rubbed her stomach. “Thanks, but I already ate.”
Tick Tock made a quiet exit and Derpy was all alone again but only briefly as a white unicorn mare strolled in.
“Miss Tick Tock. Are you in here? I need a…” The newcomer spotted the gray Pegasus and stopped in her tracks. “Oh…dear.”
“Hi, Rarity!” replied Derpy, waving her hoof.
The white unicorn gave a tiny hoof wave. “Yes, well…good afternoon, Derpy.”
“Are you here to buy a clock or a cup?”
“Yes, I was, NO!” Rarity took small steps towards the back of the store. “I mean, I came in to…have a conversation with Miss Tick Tock…about some…dresses and…” She disappeared through a door way and bumped into the brown mare.
“Oh, Miss Rarity” said Tick Tock. “Quite a pleasure to see you again. Pardon me for a minute while I—”
Rarity pushed the merchant back and whispered “Apologies for asking but what’s Derpy doing here?”
“She came in asking for an alarm clock but I had then all in storage. I was going to bring her a selection to choose from.”
“You can’t! You must!”
The merchant touched her glasses. “I’m sorry, my dear, but I don’t understand.”
Rarity glanced through the doorway, spotting Derpy grasping at the cuckoo birds to no avail before muttering something in Tick Tock’s ear.
“Are you sure about this? I suppose I can do that but you can always—”
Rarity brought out the glitter in her eyes. “Please, Miss Tick Tock?”
The elder mare thought it over. She always wanted to please the customer but given what she heard, made an exception and nodded.
Both went back to the main floor where Derpy was now looking at her reflection on a large glass pitcher, moving her head around and sticking out her tongue. Tick Tock did a small cough to grab her attention and the blonde mare turned around, knocking her flank right into the shelving. A few of the glassware fell off and came to within inches of the ground when they glowed blue and made a complete stop. Rarity swiped her brow and carefully levitated the items back in place.
“I’m sorry but I’m all out of alarm clocks” said Tick Tock. ““Would you like some tea cups instead? Some of them are from my home country of Great Breton. Classical, yet durable.”
“No thanks” replied Derpy.
“Very well. I should have a new shipment coming in tomorrow so I hope you can wait until then.”
“I will. Thanks Tick Tock.” She pushed the door open to leave.
Rarity placed her hoof on her chest. “Well, that was a close call. For a moment there, I thought she would—”
The door closed shut with a judder and the shelving gave way, spilling the glassware onto the floor, setting off the cuckoo clocks with the crafted birds going in, out, and then completely off.
“—break something.”
On the outer edges of Ponyville, a red building shaped like an octagon barn dwarfed the smaller buildings surrounding it not so much with its size, but with the number of ponies going in and out the large and wide entryway. Above it, the sign read Rich’s Barnyard Bargains and large yellow dollar symbols were nailed on both sides.
A young earth pony stallion wearing a red vest then walked out and put up a ladder, climbing up to check on a sagging banner “We Now Sell Groceries!” below the store’s sign when Derpy flew on by. In all her time in and around Ponyville, the blonde mare had never shopped at Barnyard Bargains before and thought a change of scenery would be nice.
The blond Pegasus mare landed at the entryway with a clunk, knocking the ladder off. The employee jumped off and hung onto the dollar sign, screaming for help. Derpy flew up, grabbed the yellow stallion with the red vest, and bonked his head on the wall before putting him back on solid ground.
“My bad, mister” said Derpy.
“N…no…problem…m…miss” mumbled the employee.
Satisfied, Derpy walked inside and marveled at the rows of trinkets and knickknacks scattered around the dusty-hay filled floor before pulling out her list from the saddlebag and noted it only had three items: milk, bread, and jam. She veered right and moved her head to the jazzy muzak before it momentarily cut off for a store-wide announcement.
“Hello, fellow customers! This is Filthy Rich of Rich’s Barnyard Bargains. Today’s bargain is an assortment of perfumes, perfect for that special mare in your life or as a gift for special occasions. Remember, if it ain't from the barnyard, it ain’t a bargain.”
Derpy went on to the grocery section of the store where another pony in a red vest had set up station, calling out to sample some cheese. The blonde mare hovered over and raised her hoof to grab one, then gobbled up the entire plate of cheese cubes. With a burp, she left behind a baffled employee and some irked patrons.
She continued up an aisle and tossed a loaf of bread in the saddlebag, followed by the milk, and then reached the end and turned left, spotting the jam neatly racked in a square. The employee who assembled the display intended for the customer to pull the jars from the top down but they hadn’t planned for Derpy to pull one off the middle, despite cries from other ponies nearby. Yet, the stack of jam remained motionless and she went along into a different section of Barnyard Bargains when she saw a few alarm clocks on display. Derpy picked one up and it rang for a few seconds before falling apart. She glanced at the price tag and sure enough, it was a bargain but unlike with cups, Derpy wanted quality, not quantity.
Up ahead, Derpy spotted the checkout lines but she had to go through the perfume section first. However, a familiar yellow Pegasus happened to be in the aisle, sampling the various bottles of fragrances. She made a slow approach, knowing this pony didn’t like to be startled.
“Hi Fluttershy” said Derpy.
The shy Pegasus turned her head, holding a bottle of perfume. “Oh, hello Derpy. I was just…” She paused for a second to open her eyes.
“Something wrong?”
Fluttershy gasped and sprayed the perfume all around her, tickling the nose of Derpy. With a powerful sneeze, the blond mare flung backwards into the shelving, knocking it over to the next aisle. Ponies scrambled about as the domino effect took out the Horseshoes section, then Clothing, Recreational, Arts and Crafts, Toys and finally, the grocery section where Filthy Rich wandered by the racks of jam as the last of the shelves came crashing down. He cowered down, expecting the worst but when the ruckus ended, disaster avoided him by mere inches although some bouncing basketballs made mincemeat of nearby egg cartons.
Filthy Rich took out a handkerchief and swiped off some sweat. “Whew! Thought I was going to—”
The racks of jam collapsed on itself, spewing its contents all over Filthy Rich. He took a step forwards and slipped onto the floor, making the employees around him snicker and point. A serious stare from the owner silenced them and they all, got him up and wiped the jam off his brown fur and red tie before he waved them off and fixed his slick black mane.
Filthy Rich then turned to the store floor and bellowed “Now, who is responsible for this?”
The patrons around him pointed in the direction of Derpy and Fluttershy and he made a march through the sea of destroyed merchandise. When he arrived, he went right after the gray one.
“I see they let you in. I heard about your little antics from the Megaoats Mart. Now, I’m not one to refuse service to anypony but—”
Fluttershy gave Filthy Rich a gentle prod. “Excuse me, Mr. Filthy but—”
The stallion narrowed his brow at the yellow mare.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Mr. Rich, I need to tell you something very important.” She whispered a few words to Filthy Rich who nodded a few times.
“Are you sure about that?” he muttered. “You’re not just making this up?”
“That’s what they told me.”
“All right, then. I suppose if that’s the case.” Filthy Rich turned to Derpy who rubbed her hoof on the ground. “Ahem. Now, I’m sure this was all just an accident. Now go ahead and run along. No need to pay for your items, all right?”
The blonde Pegasus smelled something was up and turned to ask Fluttershy but she was sneaking past the entryway. Derpy closed the gap and blocked her path.
“What’s going on?” said the confused grey mare.
Fluttershy looked around for a distraction. “I…I’m not supposed to tell you. Oh, but I wish I could. I’m really sorry.”
“Tell me what?”
Suddenly, the dollar sign fell off and took Derpy down into the ground. When the dust settled, the yellow mare pulled off the splintered wood, revealing the flattened blonde more. She snuck her yellow hoof towards Derpy when she suddenly popped up on her hooves. Fluttershy fell backwards and shook violently, noticing the crossed yellow eyes were now normal.
“I’m…okay” Derpy mumbled.
“Are…you sure?”
The blonde Pegasus shook herself and her eyes went back to its usual crookedness. “Sure am!”
“Oh, good.” Fluttershy sped off and with her, the answers Derpy was looking for.