//------------------------------// // Chapter 13: A Night in the Barn // Story: TwiMacVerse Part 3: The Apple of My Bulls Eye // by ThatBronyWithTheClipOns //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash and Bookworm settled down into the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse, to get ready for a good night’s rest. But as the married couple laid there, neither could find themselves going to sleep. “You asleep, Bookie?” the cerulean pegasus asked her husband. “No, I can’t sleep a wink,” said the bookish unicorn. “Sleeping in a barn aint easy, eh?” joked Rainbow Dash. “It’s not the barn, Dashie,” said Bookworm, in monotone. “The barn is fine. It’s nicely insulated, and plenty warm.” “Yeah,” sighed Rainbow Dash. “You’re thinking about what Mal said…aren’t you?” “And you aren’t?” said Bookworm. “Well…um…I don’t typically think about girly stuff,” fumbled Rainbow Dash. “You are so full of it,” said Bookworm. “Was it that obvious?” asked Rainbow Dash. “When you lie, you can never make it through a full sentence without pausing and going um,” commented Bookworm. “That’s what I get for marrying someone who knows me too well,” said Rainbow Dash. “Do you want kids?” asked Bookworm. “Uhhhhhhhhg!” groaned Rainbow Dash. “Is this really the best place to talk about this? In a bucking barn?” “If not now, then when?” argued Bookworm. “I know you’re not a fan of talking about serious subject, Dashie. But that’s not how life works. Sometimes, you gotta talk serious.” “Damn you for being so smart!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. Bookworm and Rainbow Dash shared a little chuckle. “So, do you think about having kids?” asked Bookworm. “All the time,” admitted Rainbow Dash. “Surprising,” said Bookworm. “So…do you wanna give it a go?” “I don’t think it would be a good idea, though,” said Rainbow Dash, now frowning. “Why not?” asked Bookworm. “Because I really suck with kids,” said Rainbow Dash. “You seem to do well with Scootaloo,” said Bookworm. “Oh, that’s different,” said Rainbow Dash. “I only hang out with her, I don’t take care of her. Mentoring a young filly is one thing, but being responsible for another life is completely different. The only pony I really know with a kid is Derpy.” “The mail mare?” asked Bookworm. “The very same,” said Rainbow Dash. “She’s also my cousin. Do you know why she’s called Derpy?” “Well, if I had to guess, I would say it’s because of her eyes,” said Bookworm. “Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “Poor thing had an accident when she was a filly. As a foal, she got an infection and lost her hearing. Then one day she got away from her mother, and was hit by a cart. So that’s why she has the wonky eye. She eventually gained her hearing back, but because of being deaf she now has that speech impediment. Combined with her eye and clumsiness, ponies think she’s mentally challenged. But she’s sharp as a tack! You try not being clumsy when you can’t see straight!” “I’m failing to see what this has to do with parenting,” interrupted Bookworm. “I’m getting to that, Mr. Impatient,” Rainbow Dash said aggravatingly. “Anyway, Derpy has a filly named Dinky; she’s a unicorn.” “I don’t mean to interrupt again,” said Bookworm. “But where’s the father?” “The dude was no good,” said Rainbow Dash. “When she got pregnant, he was only gonna marry her because she was pregnant. Derpy didn’t wanna stay with somepony who felt obligated. She’s raised Dinky all on her own. I help out when I can, of course. But for the most part, it’s just Derpy looking after her. She’s probably the best mother I know, and she can’t even see straight. Meanwhile, I’m the best flyer in Equestria, and I have the maternal skills of an eggplant.” “But you also got me,” said Bookworm. “Plus, you’re the element of loyalty. Who better to be loyal to than your own foal?” “You really think I’d make a good mom?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Of course I do,” said Bookworm. “I worry about being a good father.” “You!?” said Rainbow Dash. “You were a student at the school for gifted unicorns.” “Where I was one of the most socially awkward ponies you’d ever meet,” chimed Bookworm. “More than Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Are you kidding?” said Bookworm. “I can’t believe I was ever able to ask her out. But if I hadn’t I never would’ve met you.” “You’re so corny,” said Rainbow Dash. “But it’s true,” he exclaimed, now standing on the bed. “If I had never met Twilight, I never would’ve broken up with her, moved away, met somepony else, been dumped horribly, gotten into a drunken stuper, sloshed by way to Ponyville, and then have you crash into me!” “Not the most graceful of ways to meet somepony,” she sighed, thinking about the day she collided into him. “But I still met you!” he continued to exclaim. “And it was the greatest day of my entire life! And while you may not admit to it being your best day ever, I know it was for you too!” “Sure, sure, it was a fantastic day,” said Rainbow Dash, trying to sound as if that wasn‘t a great day for her (she had to remain cool after all). “But how do you figure we managed to get this far? Most of what we have in common is books.” “Because we also share passion!” he kept exclaiming. “Because I can express the words that you’re unable to. But then I can get you to express them.” “I’m glad you’re so enthusiastic,” said Rainbow Dash. “You just don’t feel as enthusiastic because of quitting the Wonderbolts,” said Bookworm. “Nah, I’m pretty much over that,” said Rainbow Dash. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for kids.” “Well, it’s not like we have to have them now,” said Bookworm. “Anytime you’re ready is when I’m ready.” Rainbow Dash smiled warmly at her husband’s remark, pulled him down to her, and gave him a passionate kiss. “Why don’t we have a little roll in the hay, and see what happens, Mr. Scholar,” she said, giving her husband a sultry smile. “I like the way you think, Mrs. Scholar,” he said, arching his brow.