//------------------------------// // Nikki Stamp // Story: The Original Character Immigration Offices // by TypewriterError //------------------------------// Nikki Stamp By Sasha Nein I admired the beautiful day as I walked up the street to the O.C.I.O. It had been four months and the inspector had been rotated out again. Hopefully I could make it into Equestria this time; I had been working hard on my presentation. There had been months of practicing in the mirror and friends making me confident that everything I was going to say would be perfect. With a spring in my step, I walked in the door. Being early in the evening I was surprised to see the waiting room empty, this was usually the busiest time to come. Moving over to the reception desk, I was startled to see the mare doing her best to reign in what seemed to be laughter. “Um, excuse me?” The mare immediately stuffed the clipboard she had been looking at away and turned to face me. There were tears in her eyes and her cheeks were red. “Hello, how may I *snrk* help you?” she asked breathlessly. “I would like to make an appointment with Miss Twilight Sparkle?” I looked at the clock, it read ten till five. I grinned sheepishly as the mare looked from the clock back to me. She sighed and hoofed over a sign-in sheet. Surprised, I noticed there were already a few names on the evening list. The appointments were slotted out into thirty minute meeting times. At the top of the page was a 4:30 with a certain Shining Moon, so I supposed that pony would be out shortly. To my relief there was a slot open at 6:00. I booked the time before pushing the pen and paper back to the receptionist, reminding myself to stop forgetting to make appointments before hoof. Turning to the room, I scanned it for signs of life. It took me two passes to finally notice a blue Earth Pony with a pink mane huddled in the darkest corner of the waiting room. That was weird, I don’t think I would have missed a pink mane like that, especially on a male. At least, I was pretty sure he was a male; that was a rather buff build for a mare. Puzzling over how I could have missed him, I sat down near a window and picked up a magazine. One could easily make the argument that all waiting room reading material was trash. I am inclined to agree with them; how in the lands beyond Equestria could a pony find interest in a magazine that gave you tips on cleaning your counter? I wrote fictional stories myself. They were mostly about Equestria of course. I don’t want to say I’m the most engaging writer in the world but I’ll be darned if they weren’t better than this junk. Nevertheless, I became enraptured with the positively drab articles in an outdated Equestrian Living magazine. Fifteen past five the door jingled and a unicorn mare with a black and silver streaked mane walked in. It was hard to place her coat color, the closest I could come up with was yellowish silver. She walked rather unsteadily to the desk. It was then I realized she was also dripping wet and making an absolute mess of the floor. Shrugging, I went back to my reading, she was probably just lost. Hearing an agast, “Wh-what?” I looked up to see the mare leaning over the receptionist’s desk, but I couldn’t hear what else was said. A few moments later the silvery mare walked over to the chairs and slumped into one, oblivious to her surroundings. I crinkled my nose as the scent of alcohol washed over my position. I hoped none of it would stick to me when I had my interview. While I was agonizing on whether or not to move, an Alicorn with a black coat and fiery red mane came barreling through the waiting room making a beeline for the door. I only saw him for a second, but I could have sworn there were tears leaking from his eyes. He burst through the exit and almost collided with another pony walking in. No, it was another Alicorn! Jeeze, I had heard of there only being three Alicorns in Equestria and that they were very powerful, but here they seemed as common as Earth ponies. “Mr. Purple, you are next, this way please.” The receptionist called a minute later, gesturing towards a hall lined with doors. The stallion with the pink mane got up from the corner and made his way towards the mare who led him to an office. I looked up at the clock, thirty minutes for him before I could begin my appointment. Sighing, I glanced at the new Alicorn making his way towards the chairs. He sat down in a chair away from my damp companion before taking a long look at her flank and scooting closer. The first words out of his mouth made me bring a hoof to my face. “Hey there baby.  I can’t help but notice your cutie mark. A moon is good because baby, I’m over the moon about you.” I watched in shock as the mare shook herself out of her stupor and began conversing with the not-so-subtle stallion. I buried myself back into my magazine, wishing for all it was worth that I would get into my appointment early. No such luck. After an agonizingly long thirty minutes later, I finally hurried down the hall after the receptionist. That “Purple” fellow had not been happy when he had returned. He had promptly begun ranting about the injustices of the world or whatever to anyone who would listen in the waiting area.         We stopped after a short ways in front of a door marked T. Sparkle. As the receptionist walked back to the front, I could still hear Purple’s raised voice. I took a deep breath and knocked. “Come in,” a brisk voice said. I opened the door and walked inside. A purple mare sat looking at me over a file she was holding in her magic. Calming the fluttering in my stomach, I turned and closed the door. “Stop,” she commanded as soon as I turned back. I had never been told to stop before, I wasn’t ready for this! I froze, already panicking from the scenarios my mind was churning out. Before I could hypothesize further, her lavender magic washed over me. Once it finished she grunted. “I apologize,” she hesitated, glancing back at the file, “Miss Stamp, I’ve had to take a few new measures to check the authenticity of ponies recently.” I sighed with relief. I could handle this. All I had to do was remain calm and get control of the situation. “Oh, that’s quite alright, I understand completely,” I said lightly, moving to sit down on a cushion opposite her. “Well, Miss Stamp. It says here you have been evaluated three other times,” Sparkle said, not looking up. “Needless to say, you were rejected each time for... various reasons.” I laughed nervously, it was never a good sign when others avoided recanting your direct reaction to things. “Yes, well, I’ve been doing my best to become a model Equestrian citizen since last time.” “Oh? Do tell,” Sparkle said, looking up from the file. Good, I had her attention. Now, I just had to get what I had worked on out perfectly. “Of course! Let me see, I suppose I should start with when I was here last,” I began. “I realized that when I was rejected a third time, that it was not going to be easy to get into Equestria. I resolved to find out all I could from the society. It took a while, but I studied history, current events, social behaviors, economics, military endeavors, your princesses and... and well, you get the point.” I paused, delighted she was still paying attention. “So, I’ve learned much of Equestrian history to about six hundred years back. I’ve only read smatterings about the Chaos War and the banishment of Nightmare Moon, I’ve not been able to get my hooves on much. I know that Princess Luna has returned and I must treat her with as much respect as I would give to your monarch Princess Celestia. I know that there are also six bearers for the Elements of Harmony which are your most powerful magical artifact who I must show respect for. I also know that if I do make it in I must be on the lookout for changelings since the country has been on high alert for those recently.” Twilight held up a hoof when I stopped for breath. “Well, it seems you have been doing your homework, Miss Stamp.” “Nikki will do just fine,” I responded, aware that getting on first name terms helped. My heart soared as she flashed a quick smile. “Indeed, I don’t suppose you saw any suspicious looking ponies as you walked in today did you? Any that might be changelings?” she asked in a nonchalant tone. Oh! This must be a test! She sure seems awfully casual, almost as if she doesn’t want me to make anything of the question! That must mean there was a changeling that they made sure I saw. My mind worked furiously as I tried to remember every pony I had seen since arriving. “Hmm,” I said finally, “If I didn’t know better I would say that bluish Earth Pony with the pink mane was a changeling. But of course, I would never take matters into my own hands if I knew for sure. I would direct my concerns to your- your umm,” I stopped, trying to remember the name of their policing forces. “Oh, um, your Royal Guard!” I almost cheered the last, ecstatic that it came to me before I started to panic. The lavender mare’s mouth was shaped in a small “o” and one of her eyebrows was raised. I had a sudden feeling I had done something wrong. “Are you alright Miss Sparkle? I- I didn’t mean to assume anything! But, you asked so I thought-” Twilight waved me into silence. “No no, it’s quite alright Miss... Nikki. I would like to ask you some other questions though. You say you have been studying pretty much everything, so let me give you a simple quiz.” She paused with a hoof on her chin. “Deciding what to ask me,” I imagined. “Alright, explain to me the purpose of a Cutie Mark.” I did not hesitate, this was an easy question. “A Cutie Mark represents your own special talent. In a way, it is also like a unique identifier since no mark is the same. You are not born with it, instead it appears usually during the adolescence stage of a young filly or colt’s life when you find the one thing you are best at and love. It also works as a guide for to the respective ponies because it allows them to begin focusing their skills into a career that will last a lifetime.” I stopped and waited for a response. Sparkle had raised her eyebrows, but that was about it. I knew I was right, of course, but I was hoping for at least an “okay” or “good job” or something. “Alright, next question: Where would you like to live?” I did not hesitate. “Why! Ponyville of course!” I exclaimed. “I hear the Elements of Harmony live there and I would love to meet them! Also, the idea of a small, quiet town appeals to me. I’m sure I could fit in and pick up some kind of job.” “Uh-huh.” Sparkle checked my file again. “So, last time you were here you made quite the... scene,” she said dryly. I gave a nervous laugh. “Heh, well I would like to apologize officially for that. I was not in my right state of mind then. When I made it home I concluded I would have to work hard and becoming a better pony; I’m proud to announce that is exactly what I’ve done!” I sat up straight and gave a confident grin. “Alright, why don’t you tell me what you have done since last time that makes you so confident?” Twilight asked. “Okay, I, I um...” I stammered for a moment, wondering where to begin. “Alright,” I picked up firmly. “I’ll just start at the beginning, or, when I left last time.” “It took a couple of weeks for the realization to come to me that I must become a citizen before I even gain access. How else would I be able to integrate into the society right away? So I went home and began at an elementary level with my learning. I’ve gone over all the basics, I browsed those things like language arts and math since they aren’t different. But I made sure I knew the history, the legends; made sure I understand innuendoes and cultural behavior.” I listed off every subject I had gone over and gave a short explanation of what I learned. It took a while, but I was able to complete an accurate list which detailed how well I would fit into Equestrian society. I was able to list off what to say or not say; to do or what not to do around other ponies, as well as having a story for my lack of Cutie Mark. I had it all worked out. Nothing could go wrong, I had planned for everything, I would be perfect. Coming back to reality, I noticed Miss Sparkle giving me an odd look. She looked a little askance, with an eyebrow raised and her tongue poking the side of her left cheek. I checked the clock. No, we still had ten minutes, I didn’t go over. I did a mental check of my appearance, I didn’t think anything was out of place. Was I too enthusiastic? I gave a tiny frown, but groaned inwardly... Surely not. Why was she staring at me like that? “So, you don’t have any wild fantasies you want to fulfill? No places in Equestria you want to see? No desire to see the princess or find yourself a stallion to sleep with?” Twilight questioned, still with that look on her face. “Um, not really? I mean, sure every mare wants to have a stallion at some point, but I figure I can just wait and let that come with time right?” I grinned nervously. “I’m pretty sure I told you I’ve written quite a bit, for both pleasure and money. It’s a dream come true to settle down in a small town in the world of my fantasies.” Twilight Sparkle gave a long sigh and looked over the file again. “Miss Stamp,” she began. Oh crap, she is addressing me formally, this isn’t good. I thought with a cringe. “Miss Stamp, everything you have told me today will get you into Equestria.” She paused, looking at my file. I felt a glimmer of hope which I began to cultivate like the embers of last night’s fire. Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath. “But-” The ball dropped, the winds blew, my embers were gone faster than that snow cone I bought today. “But,” she repeated, “looking at your file your behavior has done a radical about turn. This seems too good to be true.” She stopped, I could do nothing but stare in disbelief. “No, it doesn’t seem too good, it is too good to be true. I can’t approve your form Miss Stamp, not unless I know for sure you aren’t hiding something. However, if you keep up the good face leaving here, and for the next four months, I will leave a personal letter of recommendation in your file for the next time you take this interview. Perhaps then you will make it into Equestria.” She had the nerve to look sympathetic, but I knew better. As the loud thump of the stamp hit my latest form, I plotted my revenge. Looking at the large red letters of DENIED, I knew that Equestria as a country had it in for me. Twilight Sparkle looked up at the clock. “I’m very sorry Miss Stamp, but I have another appointment and we are out of time. Please, return in the allotted time and your application will be reviewed again at that time.” What could I do? Rage? Scream? Throw a temper tantrum? Those had not worked the last time, I didn’t see how they would help me here. No, I thought as I stood. I will leave now, I have four months to bring this place down around their ears. We would see who was king of this silly test and who was buried underneath a couple tons of rubble. I left the office quietly. I walked down the hall and into the waiting room. I sat down in a chair without thinking, my mind in lockdown. I barely noticed that stupid Alicorn heading down the hall for his interview. What to do now?