~~~~~
It had been just as cold, despite the sun and the lingering presence of the heat in the earth below... a heat which slowly faded as the day progressed to give in to night.
The passing of autumn into winter came that year with tremendous force, and every pony in town was scurrying to make their last minute preparations to bolster their homes from the encroaching cold and the inevitable snowfall. The whipping winds had damaged some houses despite the town’s attempts to remove the guilty limbs from the trees some weeks prior. All ponies, young and old alike, had chipped in not only to remove more possible destructive branches but to repair those ponies’ homes that had been destroyed.
Fluttershy gave thanks she hadn’t been impacted so severely: her windows had cracked as a result of some whipping branches and flying debris during the latest thunderstorm, and her roof had remained intact despite the falling of some smaller branches. Although a direct hit would most assuredly cause her some panic and more than a little damage, her roof was strong and her preparations had been thorough. All was well, for her home and the animals who resided within were safe with a roof over their heads and a fire to enjoy.
The same couldn’t be said for her poor chickens.
Their coop had not only been pelted and berated with every sort of flying object imaginable, but had been ransacked and turned into the temporary den for a small troop of foxes who had taken up residence within to avoid the cold. With some effort and more than a few nice words Fluttershy had succeeded in asking them to leave, and as she brewed her tea indoors her new-found friend Big Macintosh was making repairs and strengthening the supports as best he could to ensure nothing like this would come to pass again. He was out there now, braving the wild winds and latest surges of rain and sleet to ensure her coop would be able to withstand the snowfall and the coming storms. He had volunteered, saying 'that’s what friends do'.
He had called himself her friend. He had earned that title in her eyes, yet despite every inclination she had to accept his friendship she always thought that word sounded odd... especially when applied to him.
It hadn't been too long ago that she had found herself on the receiving end of a vicious tirade against her character, only to find herself defended by the town’s resident workhorse and apple merchant. He had been kind and gentle with her, that day and in the following weeks, slowly encouraging her to make new friends and take on new challenges. He had provided some support for her brief foray into modeling, despite his rustic bearing and his lack of knowledge of the world she had been unceremoniously thrown into. He had been there to listen to her every word as she recounted the tale of her verbal chidings against a raging dragon.
He had been there for whatever she needed: bunny-sitting Angel when she went away with the girls, emergency deliveries of apples for whenever a family of woodland critters required her home until they got back on their paws. Fixing coops. Repairing windows. Listening. Laughing.
He had been there through everything, every minor life event made special just with his presence, every insecurity made superfluous with his words of assurance and courage. He had always been kind, taking her needs into account before his own. He never gave unwanted help, and he was always nearby to talk to.
He had done so many things for her in the past... but now, as he worked outside to help her yet again, she watched her water boil with a singular motive:
To return the attention.
She loved her friends and cherished all the kindness and love they had shown her... but there was something about him which stood out, something about his character and his confidence which she adored far more than the love her friends had given her. She adored his resolve, his kindness, his patience, and his honesty. She loved whenever he would smile, as it was her sign that all was right in her confusing and terrifying world. It was her indication that she was safe from any danger.
These flutterings, these lilting emotions... they couldn't have been just her everyday feelings, for they had never come around when she'd been anywhere without him. Only when she was in his presence did they make themselves known. It wasn't just the fact that he was always around to help her or take care of her: that was more of his neighborly duty given her proximity to the orchard. In his attention towards her protection, he had shown something else entirely.
In his kindness, she had found a modicum of strength. In his assistance when things got rough, she had regained some peace of mind. She owed him everything, and in some small way he had been a part of every adventure she and her friends undertook.
She had always been too nervous or timid to ask for what she wanted, to be assertive in the pursuit of her desires. She hated asking for others to give her those things which she believed herself inadequate to handle or appreciate. But now, for the first time in her life, she wanted more. She wanted to finally break free from her hesitations, be courageous and bold like Rainbow Dash, shrug off the preconceived notions the townsponies had about her anxiety and reaffirm herself to her own determination like she had on her very first day in town.
She wanted to finally be strong... and with him at her side, she could be just as confident and courageous as he was.
The searing heat of the teapot against her hoof drew her out of her little cogitations and reminded her of another truth hidden away from her by the warmth of her imagination. That truth came back with a searing jolt that lanced through her hoof and her dying bravery.
"Pain, Fluttershy... it will only lead to pain” she mused aloud, waiting for the pot to cool before preparing her infuser with her preferred brew. Dipping the little brass clasp filled with her favorite autumnal blend of tea leaves with their lilting hints of blackberries and chestnut, she reminded herself of what would come from her desires.
Heartache, terror, hesitation, pain... these things she had lived and grown up with would most assuredly come back to her as she tackled this wonderful new foe and brought it to heel. They would rear their ugly heads and scream their silent terrors at her. Fluttershy, like she had with the dragon, would be required to be bold when everything else told her to turn tail and run away.
It was a mystery, even to herself, if she could recover that resolve. She knew she would lose all hope in the face of these new experiences like she did in confronting those things which plagued her every day. Her friends had all the confidence in the world, but in doing so they had left little for her to find and keep for herself. She relied on them for everything, and only on the occasions when they had relinquished their hold on their bravery was Fluttershy able to pick it up from the ground and use it for herself.
But Macintosh? He had plenty of courage and kindness to spare! He had given her so much of that calm assurance that she believed herself ready to try her hoof at this next small step forward, her next giant leap for happiness. Even if she should fail, she would at least succeed in some small way towards making herself a little better, improving on her character just a little more everyday until she wasn't as afraid of her world. All of that mystery and uncertainty which lay hidden away to pounce on her the second she thought herself capable of some monumental task would be cast aside. All she had to do was try!
What better time to try to come into her own, now that she was prepared to take that step?
Who better to take the first step than with him?
As their shared brew steeped, she afforded her home a little glance. Her fire was roaring, and many of her woodland friends had circled the fireplace in order to stave off the cold emanating from her slightly cracked windows. With a few blankets she had succeeded in stemming most of the cold air, but there was some which still made its way inside to trouble them with its frigid bite. The fact that she knew what she had to do gave her some additional warmth, and as she rested on her sofa to listen to the crackling of the fire and the light whispers of the entreating wind, she smiled in comfort. Everything would be for the best.
As she turned to check the tea's progress, a knock on the door signaled the arrival of her helper. As he opened her door to get himself warm and situated, his calculated movements and his utter silence immediately screamed that something was wrong. He held his hoof for a few moments before walking towards her, wincing slightly with every step of his left leg.
“Macintosh, are you okay?! Did those foxes come back?!” Fluttershy queried, jumping from her cushion to cautiously advance towards him. Without a backwards glance he removed his raincoat and his saddlebags filled with tools, various nails, and other assorted crafts-pony miscellany. With a grunt and a shake of his mane he was able to cast off much of the residual rainwater, but in doing so he inadvertently cast off something else which alarmed her even further:
A few drops of his most precious blood.
“Oh my goodness, Macintosh! You're hurt!” Fluttershy gasped in alarm, flapping her wings to meet him at the door in a flash. Grasping his hoof and bringing it towards her for inspection, her eyes grew wide as she cleaned the dirt from his wounds despite his almost-imperceptible wince of pain. Rolling his limb to inspect the damage, she surveyed his hoof and blood-soaked fetlocks as he slid his raincoat and his bags towards the door.
"It's nothin' to be concerned about, Fluttershy. The foxes came back and didn't especially like me bein' there, so we had a few words... and a few swipes."
In validation of his story, Fluttershy found a series of short, deep gashes on his hoof: the remnants of his quarrel with her uninvited tenants. Reeling in shock, she wiped his blood from her hooves on the floor and placed the limb carefully back on the ground lest she exacerbate his pain further.
"You stay right there, I'm going to grab my first-aid kit!" the frightened pegasus exclaimed, attempting to turn and fly away before her injured assistant held her tail in place, preventing her from leaving with a shake of his head.
"Oh no, Fluttershy! Don't you worry about me, I'll be just—"
"Don't you say 'fine'! That doesn't look fine, Macintosh!" Fluttershy asserted, stamping her hoof in defiance. "I'm going to fix you up, okay?"
"Please, Fluttershy, you don't need to do that!" he exclaimed, waving his hoof in disinclination. "I'm just going to go on home and let it heal on its own."
"Oh no you won't, mister!" Fluttershy snapped, gesturing to his injured limb with her own as she took a few steps forward, inadvertently causing him to recoil in shock. "I've seen a lot of scrapes, but that one is the worst! It's going to get infected if you leave it open, and I don't want that to happen! You got hurt doing work I should have been doing, so I'm going to fix you up! I'm not going to hear any arguments about this, okay?!"
With a hurried little series of nods her crimson charge gave his consent, the stallion utterly silent as his demanding yellow doctor gave him her trademark stare. A few moments lost in those silent and infinitely terrifying eyes rendered him incapable of movement, and as Fluttershy's eyes glazed over she relinquished her gaze and looked at him alarm before retreating a few steps.
"Oh my goodness," Fluttershy gasped. "I am so sorry! I sounded so mean and I... I used the stare! I didn't mean to be snappy with you, I really didn't! It's just I'm worried about your hoof and... umm... you were, well..."
Her verbal gesticulations were prematurely silenced as he began to chuckle, his throaty laughter echoing around the room and filling those spaces the warmth of the fire couldn't reach. A few moments of his laughter filled her with all the assurance of the world, and as he granted her with a warm smile she found his uninjured hoof on her shoulder to add physical weight to those of his words.
"Don't you worry, Doc," he chuckled, giving her shoulder a soft stroke. "You did what you thought was right, even if I didn't think I needed it. You're right: it does look serious... so if you promise not to give me that stare again, I promise not to be so stubborn. Is that okay?"
With a little nod she returned his calm smile, and as he removed his hoof from her shoulder his little nod gave her his silent permission to aid him. He remained motionless on the ground, patiently awaiting her return as she zoomed towards her kitchen, swiped her medical bag from beneath her sink, and made her way back to the stallion on the floor. He remained utterly quiet, giving her all the time in the world to unpack her things and prepare herself to clean his wounds.
"Just out of curiosity: you don't use that stare on all your patients, do you?"
He kept his voice low as she wiped the residual blood from his hooves, watching her practiced and calculated movements with an appreciative eye. With a little grin she took his injured hoof in her own for moment, seemingly lost in its weight and structure. Remarking on his wounds with a slight shudder, she gave him a reassuring smile before gripping his hoof firmly and, with a twist her head, pouring a healthy dose of peroxide directly over his slashes.
With a little grimace his massive form jerked for a single moment, but not long enough for his pain to become clearly evident. It was a moment she noticed, and the fact that he had done so made her start in surprise. He could feel pain, when everything about him suggested to the world he was invulnerable! She had brought out that side of him! What else could she uncover, given time?
He emitted an almost silent grunt as he adjusted to the new-found pain, and the mare before him cradled herself into a warm submission with that wonderful revelation. Fluttershy dabbed the drips of blood from his hoof and the residual foaming solution, considering her words carefully lest they betray her shock.
"Just the unruly ones!" Fluttershy said coyly, shooting him a devilish grin before placing a gauze pad over his wounds. "It's reserved for the most belligerent of ponies and the most finicky of patients, and you just so happen to be both!
Then, as they smiled at one another, Big Macintosh gave into her healing completely. He sat himself firmly on the ground as she began to wrap his hooves in gauze, and she could feel that residual tension which held his hoof ever at the ready die away as he gave in to her movements. For the very first time he was allowing her complete control, letting her take command of his hoof as the job required.
Her dressing of his wounds and her intimate attention to her work was all Fluttershy could do to distract herself from the palpitating pitter-pat of her heart. She had made her intentions known! She had been assertive and strong, just like he was, and in the end she had been confident enough for him to trust her with his care! What else could she be capable of, now that this boundary had been breached? Could she summon the will to follow through with her plan?
Would she be as victorious in that as she had been just seconds prior?
Her thoughts kept her mind alert and churning as she applied the last of his wrappings, cinching her handiwork tight with a little bow. Then, to test for gaps or loose spaces, she squeezed her dressing all around to cement it into place. When she reached the end of his hoof she gingerly placed it back on the floor, shuffling backwards to survey her work.
Applying his weight on the limb, Fluttershy watched as no grimace or any evidence of lancing pain emerged from Big Macintosh's face. Depressing the limb further, she found him nodding in approval of her skill, a wide smile on his face as he gave her a nod of appreciation.
"It feels like new, Fluttershy! Thank you..." Big Macintosh whispered, turning his eyes from her towards the door, his calm green eyes betraying his desire to leave. As she watched him start towards the door, her heart fell in her chest.
Now was her chance, if only she could bring herself to do it!
"It was no trouble, honestly," Fluttershy muttered, standing up as she watched him collect his things. Nudging his saddlebags closer towards him, she allowed herself a few moments to think before lowering her head and taking a few tentative steps forward.
"Thank you for your help, Macintosh," Fluttershy began quietly, listening in as he prepared himself to face the tempest outside. Her eyes struggled to catch his own, but his actions made her efforts fall flat as he slid his raincoat over his back and nudged his saddlebags into place. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt, and I, umm... I feel pretty bad about that, so... I was wondering if—"
"I told you before: it's no big deal!" Macintosh commented offhandedly, cutting her off as he nudged his saddlebags into a more comfortable position. "I will be just fine, so if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to my barn."
"But," she stuttered, looking from Big Macintosh to her own kitchen at the teapot whose ingredients were now fully steeped. "I made tea! Would you like some? It's my favorite, and it will keep you warm on your way back! It will only be a few moments, if that's okay. It's just I never thanked you for your help, and I just... I just thought I should... I wanted to—"
"I'm sorry, but I can't Fluttershy. It's really time I head ho—"
"Wouldyouliketogoonapicnicwithme?" Fluttershy stammered aloud, breaking the silence and the flow of his sentence as she stomped her hoof to make the desires of her heart known. As the silence between them grew, her eyes grew wide as she clasped her hooves to her mouth, simultaneously cursing and lauding herself for the audacity of her outburst.
Stupid, stupid, stupid Fluttershy! her conscience howled. Why did you do that? A picnic? Stallions don't go on picnics, especially not with a scaredy-pants like you...
"I'd love to..."
You should have waited! He barely knows how much you can handle! He would never want to go on a picnic with you, he is obviously going to say...
Her eyes shot open.
What had he said? His mouth had moved and his sonorous voice had punched through the quiet atmosphere of her warm home, but his words... they hadn't sounded like any variation of 'no' she had ever heard.
"Did..." she whispered, looking from her hooves towards his calm waiting eyes. "Did you just say... yes?!"
"Of course I did," Macintosh declared, complementing his previous words with a smile. "If you can find a spot when the weather is nice, I'll bring the food. Sound like a deal?”
She hadn't expected such a warm acceptance of her plan, nor for him to be smiling as he was now. She had expected to be let down easy, quietly brushed aside as he made his goodbyes, not smiling or nodding in excitement as she was now. She couldn't help but beam, and as she gave him one final nod and grin of consent her heart abounded within her breast. Fluttershy took a few steps forward, closing the gap between them.
“Just as soon as the weather picks up,” she chirped, smiling even further when she finally gathered what courage she had to look him in the eyes. “Once it’s a nice day, we’ll have a picnic!”
Big Macintosh double checked his rain-barding before opening her door, the wind and rain whisking its way inside as he turned to block the door-frame with his massive bulk.
"Sounds good to me" he asserted calmly, stamping his hoof lightly on the floor as if informing the earth below their plans and schemes for the future. Then, with a little bow and a smile, he finally went on his way, closing the door firmly behind him after checking to ensure he had not left anything behind.
Fluttershy listened as his hoofsteps slowly died away, sighing when the sound of his departure was slowly replaced with the crackling of the fire she had prepared for them to share. As she turned to pour her brew she found that the presence of the burning logs had little impact on how warm she felt in this moment, nor did she notice the piping-hot temperature of the tea she poured herself as she joined her friends by the fireplace.
The heat of the fire only added to the burning excitement which wrapped her heart in diaphanous folds of warmth and sensation, lighter than it had ever been before as she replayed the last few minutes in her head. Sipping her tea, she watched as the embers sizzled and burned out, the wood warping as the energetic blaze sapped what fuel it contained. The fire roared, defiant and strong, sounding out its power for the whole room to hear.
She smiled back, just as energetic and proud.
Just as victorious.
~~~~~
The sun's rays cascaded at a slowly diminishing angle as she reopened her eyes, and their heat was almost unnoticed as she continued to rest on the serenity of her dream.
It had all begun on that day and in those few moments of bravery. The blissful days and weeks which followed, the evenings spent talking and sampling tea in her home as they watched the snow fall together, the picnics they took during the coming spring as the world reawakened... they would be the happiest moments she would recall. They would joke and play, laugh and tease, enjoy not only the destinations and experiences which they shared with one another but the profound sense of ease they had found with one another. They would hold onto those glorious discoveries with every passing day, every shared memory, and every mutual smile.
She had slowly opened up like the flowers she had seen just a few hours prior, and soon he would take notice of her if only she kept her will and her wits about her. As long as she didn't succumb to the raging sense of doubt which had always been her constant companion, her life would continue to be a soft enchanting dream as it had been all that time ago.
That sense of doubt, she remembered, had finally died by the side of her little pond. She had shown him her hiding place, her one comfort from the raging of the world and the doubt and inconstancy which it engendered. She had finally taken the courage he'd shown her and allowed herself to finally give in as she had never done... as she had convinced herself she could never do.
Her eyes closed as the days flickered by in her mind, and as she fell backwards into the open spaces of her life she sped through her memories until she rested on a flash of green and blue, the dazzle of the midday sunshine, and the lingering pain in her hooves.
It had all started with a smile...
~~~~~
Big Macintosh blazed through the undergrowth, the vines and various limbs slashing his sides and face as he stampeded for her hideaway only a mile away. Crashing through the forest, he brushed limb, branch, and tree aside as if they had no substance or weight as he made his way ever-forward, panting in exertion. His resolve had never died and his limbs had never given out as he ran over the hills, bounded across the streams, and forded the rivers which she had so effortlessly flown over when they had made their way towards her hidden glen.
She had shown him her one refuge, her safe place... and in doing so she led him by the hoof into her life far further than she had before. He understood then and there, right in the middle of the bright and isolated glen, just how she had felt. He swore aloud for his ignorance and cursed himself as for not realizing it sooner... for not informing her she wasn't alone in how she felt.
She had been there all that time, and only until it was too late had he been bold enough to show his true colors.
Macintosh prayed she would be there where she said she would be, but with every thundering hoofstep his courage died just a little further with the lingering notion that when he arrived he wouldn't be able to find her, hold her close, and protect her from her worries.
He slowly lost hope as he grew to believe he would be too late to save her from herself.