It's hard to believe that was all seven years ago now. But even with only one life, time moves fast.
A lot has happened to me since then, but whatever the Overseers did to my head that night in the hospital stuck. I never had another dream again. Though I was initially sad about this loss, it actually worked out well for me. Without the crutch of dreaming, I was forced to live a better life.
I got my old post-production job back, but it was mostly just to build up my savings. I left less than a year later and co-founded my own production company, with Sandra as a business partner.
She is without a doubt the highlight of my new life. We started dating as soon as I was back on my feet, and have been going steady ever since. I showed her all my notes from the pony dreams and filled her in on what I did before she showed up. She loved it all, though I could tell she was still a little disappointed she didn’t get to spend as much time in Equestria as I had.
We still had the show, however, which we watched together every week. It was so great to watch with someone else, instead of alone with headphones on like I used to. The fact that we had been there only made the show better. We were watching the first time Pinkie waved at the camera. The fandom assumed the animators were just having fun with Pinkie's fourth wall breaking, but we knew what was really going on. There was also an episode in season 5 where Berry Punch bursts into a party scene for apparently no reason. It made me smile ear to ear, but also a little sad. I missed the purple drunk. She holds her booze way better than Sandra can...
Eventually, like all things do, the show came to an end. It had a good run (and an amazing movie that made up for that Equestria Girls garbage) and one day, I’ll be watching it with my kids. Or, I should say, Sandra and I will be. We got engaged more than a year ago, but we’ve been so busy with the company we haven’t had time to plan a wedding, let alone a honeymoon.
As of now, our company ‘Jackalope Foot Media’ has several cartoons on air, and produces a ton of online content too. Sandra has a hand in all the graphics we make and I supervise the whole post department. It’s hard work, but I really enjoy every show we make.
Though we don’t live together anymore, I do still hang out with Dan every once in awhile. He may be a dick, and we always fight over the dumbest little things, but he’s the most interesting company you could ever find. The stuff we’ve done together... I’d say its equally part awesome and insane (though it’s more like 20-80.) He fights in the UFC circuit now, using moves I once saw him pull off as a pegasus.
Dan never really spoke about our interdimensional adventure, though I tried to talk to him about it many times. He would usually say, “don’t bring up that gay shit.” and change the topic, so I eventually stopped trying. There was this one time, however, when we were both very drunk, and out of the blue he said, “No joke man, I wish I had those wings back.”
I honestly had no idea how to respond to that, but before I even could, he grabbed me by the shirt and raised a fist, “Tell anyone I said that, and you die.”
I told Sandra the next day. We had a good laugh.
All-in-all, things were going well for me. Sure, I wasn’t fighting monsters or traversing the multiverse, but I was happy. Well, okay, I still thought about it sometimes. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had really missed out, and if things had gone differently...
I pushed the thoughts away and turned my attention back to my computer screen.
I sat in my spacious office, going over the latest cuts for episode 14 of our newest show, 'Surfin’ Fish' and jotting down all the mistakes I saw. Mistakes I was likely going to have to fix myself. I sipped my extra large coffee and rubbed my eyes as the orange fish on my screen fell off his surfboard and was split in half by a sharp rock.
“Looks like nobody added the blood splatter there...” I made a note on my pad, '5:33:02, blood goes hurr.' I unpaused the clip and kept watching, when the phone on my desk rang, the light on it showing the call came from the front desk. I lifted the receiver.
“Yes?”
“Hey Jon? It’s the front desk.” Joanne, the secretary said. She’s... new. Well, new-ish.
“I... see. And how are things going over there?” I asked sarcastically, taking another sip of my huge coffee.
“Good. Umm, there’s a girl standing here with pink hair.” She said. Did I mention she was dumb? Yeah, Joanne was not what one could call educates. Worked cheap though.
“Ooooh-kay. Does she... want something? With me, specifically?”
“Yeah, she’s asking for someone named ‘Night Cap.’ Said the guy in charge would know what that meant.”
I held the phone away from my face, staring at it like it was about to bite me. Was this some sort of joke? Did Sandra have something to do with this? Or Dan?
“Hello! Hello?” Joanne’s voice called from my hand.
I snapped to attention and put it back to my ear. “Hi, ummm, yeah... send her in I guess.” I hung up and immediately punched in the number to Sandra’s office down the hall. I set down my coffee carefully as the phone rang.
“Hello, this is Sandr-”
“There’s someone at the front desk looking for Night Cap.” I said, cutting off my fiancée.
She was quiet for a few beats. “I don’t have anything to do with it.” She said, “You think Dan would...?”
“I doubt it. Either way, she’s coming to my office right now.”
“On my way.” Sandra said, hanging up.
I sat alone and collected my thoughts. This really didn’t strike me as something Dan would do, plus he was in Atlanta right now for a fight. He wouldn’t embarrass me if he couldn’t be here to watch. And if Sandra didn’t do it...
My door opened, and a girl who couldn’t have been more than 16 stepped in. She had pale pink hair with light streaks in it. “Hi.” She said to me with a wide smile.
“Hi.” I said back. It seemed like the polite thing to do. “Can I... help you?”
The mysterious girl laughed and smiled wider, “Ha! I guess you don’t recognize me, huh Cap?”
“How do you know...” I stopped mid-sentence as my brain finally figured it out and shat out an answer for me, “...Pina?!”
Sandra appeared at the door, glancing at the young girl I was gaping at stupidly.
“Umm, did I miss something here?” She asked, eyeing the grinning teen warily.
“Sandra... this is Pina Colada. Berry’s sister... from Ponyville.” I said simply. Her face instantly changed to mirror mine and she looked at the girl again with disbelief, rather than cautious envy. There was a reason Joanne still had a job with us; she was too dumb to flirt.
“Hi! Nice to meet you Sandra!” Pina chirped happily. "I've heard all about you from my sis!" She extended a hand to shake, but received four eyeballs digging into her with shock.
“But... how?” I eventually managed to sputter. The animated fish was still moving on my screen. I reached out to stop the clip without looking, spilling my coffee everywhere. “Aw! Fuck!” I shouted as the hot liquid poured all over me.
“Ha! I knew it! You are Night Cap!” Pina bounced happily, just like a small pink pony I'd met seven years ago, "Berry said 'fuck' was, like, your catch phrase or something!"
“Pina, how are you... what did I... didn’t... dammit Sandra close the damn door.” I said, wiping the coffee off my crotch. “Maybe you should, take a seat.” Sandra shut the door and we all sat down around my soaked workspace.
“Okay, so spill it. What did you do? How did you find me?” I said to the adolescent filly.
“That was easy!” She replied, “I just hacked into an Overseer computer!”
“What!?” Sandra and I shouted at the same time.
“Wow, you guys sound just like my sister...” Pina muttered.
“I don’t know what you think you know about those guys, but they’re kinda bad news!” I lectured the pink-haired human, “And how are you a human anyway?”
“I... may have stolen some experimental technology after I hacked that computer... haha.” She laughed weakly. I groaned loudly. “Don’t worry! They are super predictable and easy to avoid. Plus, they’ve got much bigger fish to fry than a few missing supply crates.”
“Just a few crates then?” I could smell bullshit a mile away, and she reeked of cow patty.
“... aaaaand a Verillion Class starship...” She reluctantly admitted.
“You stole a starship?!” Sandra said, “From the guys who tried to kill us! Also, what does 'Verillion Class' mean?”
Pina shrugged it off, as if grand theft fucking spaceship was no big deal. “It’s no big deal!" Oh boy, why are kids so dumb? "And Verillion Class means it has a transference bay built in. But listen, I’m so stoked that I found you Cap!”
'Stoked', yes... I pinched the bridge of nose, “My name is Jon, and why are you even here?”
"Berry told me what they did to you, Cap. I wasn’t right for them to take away your special talent like that!” She said angrily, continuing to use the fake name Sandra had inadvertently came up with. “I kept practicing what you taught me, and I did what you did! I left my body and went to another universe!” She got up and paced the office excitedly. “It was even better than I imagined! I saw so much and met some many beings that taught me new things. It’s so awesome! ...But then, they came for me.”
I looked away. I knew they were still checking in on me. Every few years, I would catch a glimpse of a dark shape with glowing eyes, but when I turned to look, it would be gone. I wanted to believe it was my imagination, but I knew better.
“Berry told me all about what you guys did, so I was kinda expecting it,” Pina continued, “They’ve captured me a few times, but I always escape. And I hack their computers to learn more about them whenever I’m on their ships. I also take the opportunity to... borrow some of their stuff.”
“Borrowing with no intention of returning isn’t borrowing.” I pointed out. I was amazed by her story, and even a little jealous she got to have the adventures I didn't, but I was also a responsible adult now. Well, sort of...
“Anyway,” Pina took her seat again, “Once I found out where they sent you, I just knew I had to come and give back a little of what you’ve given me. So how about it you two? Ponyville is really nice this time of year, and I know lots of ponies who’d like to see Night Cap again, including my sister.”
I looked at Sandra, who had placed both her hands under her face at the mention of Ponyville.
“Well, we do have to finish the final edits for the first season of this new show...” I began. My fiancée and the pony-turned human drooped. “But what the fuck, we need a vacation anyway!”
Sandra instantly leapt out of her seat and smothered me with hugs and kisses. “Ooooooooh! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” She rambled semi-coherently.
“Great! Ready to go then?” Pina asked, standing and hitting some buttons on the strange device around her wrist.
“What right now?” I asked, trying to fight off the loving onslaught.
“Sure! The ship can’t stay in orbit forever, and fuel is expensive. I can send you right back here after, instantly.” She replied smugly. "Oh, and I was expressly told not to bring somepony named Dan."
I nodded my approval, "Not a problem, he's not here anyway."
“Ooh! Do we get our pony bodies back?” Sandra asked, pushing off me and rushing over to Pina. She was still a total fan-girl.
“Of course! We can’t have humans walking around Equestria, waaay too noticeable. Lucky for you I downloaded the transference data from the Overseers, so I can reverse them and build you pony bodies exactly as they were when you left the Equestrian sector.”
“So... we’ll have some fresh bruises then...” I said, remembering the various fights I had lost that day.
“...We also have a medical bay.” Pina said, finishing with her inputs. “Okay, all set then?”
“Let me just... leave a note or something.” I replied. Responsible adult and all that...
I grabbed a pen and my note pad, scribbling, “Going to hang out with ponies. Be back... sometime. Finish this please” on the yellow paper and stuck it to my monitor.
“Let’s fucking go!” I shouted, pulling in Sandra close.
Pina hit another button and there was a bright flash.
A second later the office was empty.