//------------------------------// // Chapter 66: Mustache // Story: The Reader // by GnollReader //------------------------------// The pile of leaves was actually snoring. With every snore the whole pile rose and fell softly, it seemed the gnoll had fallen asleep in his hiding space. Considering how early it still was it didn't surprise Purple Haze much. The gnoll loved his morning naps, and he hated hospitals. "So how you gonna get him out?" Applejack asked in amusement as she watched the pile rise and fall. "He's got good ears." Purple Haze said with a shrug before addressing the pile of leaves, "Scar, wake up. We'll be late for the appointment." There was a shift under the leaves and the snoring stopped, "Purple Haze..." a long yawn could be heard, "Is much too early... Purple Haze should take nap too." A huge hand crept out of the pile and grabbed a leg before pulling the pony inside with a yelp, "There, is much better. Can take nap with gnoll, stupid hospital can wait." "As much as Ah appreciate the offer, but Ah think you got the wrong pony there sugarcube. Heh, Apple Bloom sure wasn't kiddin', you really are fluffy." There was a pause, "Nice pile you got yourself..." "Is good, though Scar thinks there may be ants inside..." Purple Haze gave a sigh as she stepped up to the pile, stuck a hoof inside and started to search. She touched something soft, "Sugarcube, I think you're looking for somepony else." She let go again with a groan and continued her search, "This is ridiculous..." she muttered under her breath. She touched something fluffy, "Hihi, that tickles." The gnoll gave a yelp of surprise as he jumped out of the pile, "How does Pink Pie do that? Is impossible to sneak up on gnoll!" "Silly, I'm a pony not a gnoll!" a pink head stuck through the leaves giggling. The gnoll simply stared at her with a big eye. Applejack came up next to her, "Pinkie, Ah don't think that's what he means." The gnoll was about to retort when he felt something settle down on his back and a firm grip take hold of one of his ears, "Never mind, we're already running late as it is." He tilted his head to see Purple Haze on his back with a sly smile on her face, "We've got a doctor's appointment waiting for us, don't we Scar?" Scar gave a sigh and let his shoulders sag, he mumbled a few curses before heading towards Canterlot, "Purple Haze never let's it have any fun..." he remembered Doctor Caretrot and his needles, "Scar needs to stop at library first." She raised an eyebrow, "What for?" "So Scar can get Tag? Then, if pony doctor tries to stick it with needle again Scar can..." he felt a tug on his ear. "Straight to Canterlot it is." Purple Haze looked over to Ponyville as the gnoll beneath her grumbled in protest, another explosion could be heard from the library. "Besides, I think we should avoid the library. Seems Twilight is testing some heavy magic today." --- "HAHA! Lovely shot my dear, are you sure your special talent isn't demolition? Let's see now, that takes care of the wall and that pesky bookstand, how about a window next? Splinters are nice but one should never underestimate the beauty of shattered glass!" "UGH! Why won't you stop talking?!?" Twilight yelled at the hammer in frustration. Her first blast had been set off in surprise and had taken down a good piece of the wall behind the hammer. The second blast though had been out of sheer annoyance, the maul was driving her insane. Yet nothing seemed able to even scratch it, or at least get it to shut up. "How are you even talking? That's impossible! You don't even have a mouth!" "Nothing is impossible as long as love prevails, my dear! Do be so kind and blow up that book shelf to your left next, would you? It's been giving me evil stares ever since I got here and I do love it so to watch you blow things up." Twilight huffed as she glared at the hammer from behind a table, "I am not blowing things up for your entertainment! I am trying to blow up you! Or at least get you to shut up!" "Twilight?" Spike called out as he stepped down the stairs of the library with sleepy eyes, "Isn't it a bit early for practicing destructive magic?" He looked at the hole in the wall, "Huh... Are we getting a porch?" "Excellent idea, young fellow! But for a porch we will need much more space! There is still too much wall left to start building! One must crush before one can build to crush again! "Did Scar's hammer just talk?" Spike asked in surprise, "Wow... that is so cool!" He walked up to the hammer, "I'm Spike! Nice to meet you!" "Sir Tag, at your service! Sir Spike, you look like a capable species with opposable thumbs, or am I mistaking?" "Spike! Don't talk to it!" Twilight called from the back. "Why not? He didn't do anything bad did he?" Spike showed his little hands to the hammer. "Only remarks on the length of the curtains, my dear boy." Twilight turned a crimson red, "Ah, yes! These will do perfectly! You wouldn't happen to possess a set of art supplies, would you?" "I have some crayons somewhere in the back..." Spike offered. "That will do kind Sir, that will do. Would you fetch them for me?" the hammer hummed happily. "Uhm, sure... but what do you want with them... Sir Tag?" Spike asked curiously. "Oh, it is quite simple old chap. I would like you to draw me a mustache." "A mustache?" Spike asked in wonder. "Indeed, the ultimate symbol of masculinity! I simply cannot go questing without it! There simply isn't a sport to destruction if you cannot feel the heroic breeze of success on your mustache when you stand over your defeated foes! HAHAHA!" "You're a HAMMER!" Twilight called out from the back frantically, "You don't even have a face! Why, of all things in the world would you want a mustache?!?" a strange twitch was starting to grow on one of her eyelids. Spike returned his attention to the hammer with big eyes, "You really want a mustache?" There was a moment of silence that clung to the air for what seemed like seconds, "Dear Sir, I deserve a mustache."