"How 'bout that?"
"Huh?" Applejack's voice snapped Twilight out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Ah'm jus' sayin' how great it is, that all-a us had that special connection 'fore we even met." She smiled in a fond way. "Really makes ya think don't it?"
"Yes um... I suppose it does," she said unsurely in response, hoping she wouldn't notice her distraction. Applejack, however, didn't miss a trick.
"Sumthin' on yer mind hon?" she asked, concerned.
"What? No, nothing, why would you think that?" Her gaze flicked to what she'd previously been thinking about.
"Ya jus' seem kinda..." She followed her gaze and an understanding expression appeared on her face. "Oh, ah see..."
"See what?" she asked abruptly.
"Ya know full well what." Applejack leant against the table in a self-assured way. "Starin' at him again huh?"
Twilight gave herself a few minutes to think before answering, as another horn blew and confetti streamed everywhere, Pinkie bouncing past as she fired her party cannon.
They were at another of Pinkie's parties, this one she had thrown in celebration of their special connection for their cutie marks. As with all of Pinkie's parties, it was bombastic, entertaining and fun. Twilight was standing by the punch bowl, watching Dusk as he was in conversation with Fluttershy across the room. At least she was, until Applejack seemed to have noticed and came over to talk.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she insisted, sipping her punch and diverting her gaze.
"If ya say so," Applejack shrugged. "So, still say yer not in love with him?"
"I still say," she responded immediately. She thought the conversation might be going this way.
"So whaddya say it is then?"
"Well... I would say that... I think it's..." She trailed off, as she couldn't answer that question. "I don't know what it might be, but it's nothing to do with romance."
"Yeah, yer probably right." Applejack looked over at where Dusk was. "Hey look, Dusk an' Fluttershy are holdin' hooves."
"What?" Turning her head sharply, Twilight flushed when she saw that Applejack had fibbed and Dusk's hoof was nowhere near Fluttershy's. "Why did you-?"
"'Cause it's so obvious ya do," Applejack said. "Twah'light, when are ya jus' gonna face facts?"
"Because I know I don't, I just can't!" she said, her voice rising an octave.
"Cool it, sugar cube, ah'm jus' sayin... look ya can try ta deny it, but anypony can tell that what yer feelin' fer Dusk is love of the highest degree. Anypony'd tell ya, any book if ya read it."
"No, they-" She stopped as she thought about what Applejack had just said. "Wait... that's it..."
"What's it?"
"The answer, the solution to my problem!" She beamed at her friend. "You're a genius Applejack!"
"Ah am?" She was staring at her like she'd gone mad. "Twah'light, what are ya thinkin'?"
"Oh you'll see," Twilight said confidently. "Because, by tomorrow, I'm going to prove once and for all that I am right and you are wrong."
Twilight awoke at her usual early time the next morning, promptly lifting the covers off of Spike and practically bouncing downstairs. She had good reason to be in such a bright mood, for today was the day that the problem that had been plaguing her mind would finally be resolved. She even put it on her own personal checklist because it was so significant.
Today was the day she'd finally put an end to her supposed romantic infatuations about a certain stallion she knew. Speaking of which...
He appeared to be in some discomfort when he walked in through the door. His walk was a slow, shuffling step and he had a hoof pressed to his head, his eyes rather bloodshot. Twilight thought to try and lift his mood with her own good one
"Good morning Dusk!" Twilight greeted in the cheeriest of spirits. "Lovely day isn't it?"
"Morning Twi... can you try not to talk to loud? I have a splitting headache..." He groaned and clutched his head again.
"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
"I think I drank too much of Pinkie's punch last night... that'll teach me to indulge myself..."
"I did warn you about that," she reminded him. "I don't know what it is Pinkie puts in it, but she says that that particular brand has a 'special ingredient' added."
"It's certainly special all right," he agreed, grimacing in pain. "Ow... it feels like a buffalo stampede in my brain..."
"Pinkie punch overdose?" Spike asked, as he came out of the kitchen. "I feel your pain bro, it's a killer."
"You can say that again... ow..."
"Hold on, I got just the thing!" He dashed back into the kitchen and Twilight could hear the sounds of bottles clinking together and liquid being poured into a glass. A few seconds later, Spike re-emerged.
"Here, try this," Spike offered, giving him a glass of red liquid, smoking from the top. "Pinkie says it's the best solution for it and trust me, it works. Just hold your nose and drink it down in one."
"Okay..." Dusk pinched his nose with magic and swallowed hard. He retched, but managed to keep it down, gasping when he'd got it all down. "By Celestia! What's in that?"
"Trust me, it's best you don't know," Spike warned. "Your headache'll be gone in about half an hour, until then... just fight through it."
"Okay, thanks..." He coughed and Twilight could smell a strong spice coming on his breath, making her grimace. "Sorry... a perfect example that the medicine... is worse than the affliction."
"So it seems," she giggled. "I hope you'll be okay, just don't drink that much punch again."
"Don't worry, I won't," he agreed, trying his best to smile. "You seem to be in a good mood today."
"Why shouldn't I be?"
"Might I inquire as to why, other than contempt that you were right... again."
"I don't have contempt for you... well, maybe a little bit," she admitted, with a giggle.
"I thought as much," he replied, still smiling and taking it in good grace.
"Let's just say that I hope to have the answer to an important question soon enough," she deflected, hoping not to get into too much detail. "Well, I have a list of things that I want you and Spike to go for. You don't have to go now though."
"No, I will, fresh air might do me good." She was touched by how dedicated to his work he was. "So, what do you want us to get?"
Happy that she'd be able to get this done sooner rather than later, Twilight gave him the shopping list. After they went through it and she gave him the appropriate finances, she waited until he and Spike were far off. This would leave her alone in the library, to commence the second item on her personal to-do list, one that she had just added now:
Figure out feelings for Dusk.
Whether she was with him or just by herself, she was always wrestling with her emotions for him. She enjoyed his company, but only as a friend, she told herself constantly. She loved the sound of his voice, but only because he always had something intelligent to say. She didn't like it when he had to go, but only because they were such good friends. I do not have romantic feelings for him, she told herself, I do not have romantic feelings for him.
Yet… over the past few weeks, she'd been finding it harder and harder to believe her own words. Each time, the reasons she gave herself for why she couldn't possibly be having romantic feelings for him seemed more and more desperate, to the point when she felt like screaming in frustration from how completely irrational she was being. Why couldn't she just see that he was just her friend, even though they did have a kind of special connection, that they always just seemed to think exactly the same things, that they just fitted so well together…
She shook her head and rapped her head hard with her hoof. "No, stop it! Don't get caught up in that again!" Once she was convinced she could think clearly again, she tried to hold those previous feelings in contempt, as she thought over her plan.
Today, she was going to prove that once and for all. She didn't know why she hadn't just done this before, when she'd been battling with her feelings about him. She was going to look at some books that would tell her, for sure, that she didn't have romantic feelings for her friend and that was that. Having friends was one thing, but indulging herself in the outlandish dreams of romance? That was simply unthinkable.
"Right then," she said to herself, levitating Pony Psychology down from its shelf in the science section, "let's settle this once and for all."
She opened the book and turned to the page that she was looking for, confident that this emotional debate would soon be put to rest. Instead, she found more proof that the only feelings she could be having for him were those of love. Shutting the book, she set it aside and pulled down Deciphering the Mind instead. That one was probably just a fluke, perhaps this writer would have a different view on the emotions that she was feeling. She skimmed through it, found the appropriate section and read through it… no, this one said the same thing. No matter, she thought, starting to panic now. Maybe Feelings, Emotions and You would have the solution…
The pile of discarded books grew steadily higher and Twilight's mane grew increasingly dishevelled, as she desperately tried to find something, anything that would her prove her case against romance for her second assistant and best friend. Perhaps this one… no, nothing… this one? No, that was useless… This one was sure to have… no, there was nothing.
"There's nothing!" she screamed eventually, flinging the last book aside. "There's nothing at all! Nothing…" This last statement came out in a groan, as she bowed her head and crossed to a mirror.
Her mane was now in more of a mess than when she had woken up that morning, her eye muscles were twitching from the stress of her futile venture and she looked as if she would faint any second from how pale her face was. She smoothed herself down as best she could, looked firmly at her reflection and tried one last thing.
"I do not have romantic feelings for Dusk." Even before she had finished speaking, she knew those words sounded hollow. Clearing her throat she tried again. "I do not have romantic feelings for Dusk." That sounded even worse. One more time. "I do not… do not…"
She couldn't even finish that time. It looked like she was just going to have to accept defeat and succumb to the facts, the facts that she'd been trying to run away from and hide all of this time, even if it seemed so obvious. Her feelings for the pony who was just as well-read as she was, but so much more engaging in imagination, in the unbelievable, even when she herself simply refused to consider it…
Wait maybe that was it! Maybe the solution to her problem would be found from the pony who her dilemma centred around. If she found out how Dusk dealt with believing the impossible, then she would be able to find some way to apply that to her own predicament. It was perfect!
Dusk returned with Spike just as she put away the last of the books and smoothed down her mane, removing any trace of her desperate search from before. They'd taken just as long as she'd hoped. He seemed to be in a better state than when he left, as his smile was less forced and his eyes were returning to normal. He still was suffering from twinges by the look of it.
When he asked her if it would be okay if he went down to Sweet Apple Acres, she not only told him that yes of course it would be, but that she would go with him. That would give her time to ask him what his view was on his own beliefs. So, leaving Spike in charge of the library, the two of them headed in the direction of the farm.
"So, why the sudden visit?" she asked him, when they shut the door.
"We bumped into Applejack while in town and she told me that they'd just finished baking an apple pie down at the farm, so she invited me to come over for a slice." He licked his lips in anticipation. "I do so enjoy that pie."
"I can tell." She walked with him in silence for a bit, then asked what was on her mind. "How do you do it Dusk?"
"Do what?"
"How do you… believe things without little or any proof? You know like blind faith?" She cocked her head at him. "I've noticed that about you. You believed in Pinkie sense before I did, you walked out on a stage and performed, despite what you thought of yourself and you ran into the Everfree Forest to save us, even though you had no idea where we were or how to find us."
"You had to bring that up," he mumbled, blushing though he still smiled.
"Yes I did. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I just want to know… why?"
"Well, I think we can rule out that last one, I was just in over my head that time and I still marvel that we escaped in the first place," he started. "But the rest… well… it's kind of hard to explain."
"Try me," she prompted. "We're both intellects, aren't we?"
"Okay then…" He thought for a moment. "Well, you know my colour talent?" He demonstrated by making a mini version of herself canter by.
"I do yes," she laughed, marvelling at it until it faded away. "Go on."
"You see, until recently, for the longest time, I could find no explanation for it, no reason how or why I had such a unique power. I delved into as many books as I could find, even the dullest science journals on magic, just to try and find something. In the end, I realised that I would never find the answer and… that didn't bother me.
"I realised that I couldn't explain it, but that didn't make it any less real, any less believable or good. I just had it and that was that. That was then I came to another revelation: there are lots of things that we can't explain in this world, lots of things that, even with science, we still find it hard to find explanations for. But just because we can't explain them doesn't mean we can't believe them, like with Pinkie sense.
"That's why I never really read into science that much, because it's too grounded and inflexible. I respect it, but I don't really have much interest in it. That's why I also read into novels that are fantastic rather than realistic, because they're so much more fun and exciting and make my mind imagine the impossible. Like when you read Daring Do. You know what I mean, right?"
Twilight was silent at this. She hadn't really expected something like that. She knew Dusk was intelligent, but that was rather… profound and it made sense. She still had her own beliefs, but now she understood better why he did believe in the supposedly impossible, or rather the things she thought was impossible. Like her having romantic feelings for him… suddenly, that didn't sound so bad now….
"Twi? Twi, you okay?" His expression of uncertainty had returned. "I'm sorry if I haven't explained it well but… that's just how I feel. That's not bad, is it?"
"No," she said softly. "No, not at all. In fact, I think it's quite remarkable."
"Really? You… you think so?" She had to suppress a giggle at how nervous he now looked, like her judgement decided everything.
"I really do. You've always had more belief, perhaps understanding, in the extraordinary than I have. I have facts and figures, so do you, but you have so much more imagination. It's one of the things I like about you," she added, smiling warmly at him. "It doesn't make you any less clever, it just makes you more… open."
"Really? Hm… I never really thought about it like that," he remarked, returning her smile. "Thanks Twi. Additionally, your belief in finding the facts is one of the things I like about you."
"That's nice to know, thank you." She looked up the road. "Oh look, we're here!"
"Ah, I can smell the pie already," he sighed at the sight of the vast barn. "You get the first slice though, I insist."
"How kind of you, good sir," she replied smartly, blushing at his politeness. She caught sight of the peach-coloured pony approaching them. "Hey there Applejack!"
"Dusk an' Twah'light, nice ta see ya both," she greeted happily. "Ya didn't tell me y'all were bringin' company Dusk."
"You don't mind, do you?" he asked her unsurely.
"'Course not, the more the merrier," she assured him. "Y'all head on in, ah want ta talk with Twah'light fer a bit."
Dusk didn't object, though he did flash a look of concern to Twilight. She gave him a smile that she was fine, he nodded and headed inside. Applejack promptly turned to look at Twilight.
"Ya seem like yer in a good mood Twah," she noted.
"Why shouldn't I be?" she echoed, feeling a sense of déjà vu. "What did you want to ask me Applejack?"
"Jus' if anythin's happened concernin' our friend." She gestured her head to the barn. "Anythin' you'd like ta tell me?"
Twilight considered telling her the conclusion that she had, at least partially, accepted, but decided she didn't want anypony to know yet until she'd figured it out completely. "No, I don't think so."
"You sure?" Twilight only nodded. "Well, if ya say so. Come on, before Dusk eats all the pie."
"I don't think he will, but let's go," Twilight agreed, surprised at how eager she was to re-join Dusk.
There were still some things that she'd like to figure out for herself before she made any kind of major decisions, but she found herself enjoying imagining the possibilities. Maybe having romantic feelings for a pony like Dusk wouldn't be so bad… it certainly wasn't impossible.