//------------------------------// // Audience // Story: Egghead and Featherbrain // by TheLastBrunnenG //------------------------------// Twilight flailed madly under Luna’s moon, limbs waving wildly in every direction. Her eyes were shut tight against the world’s distractions, and her tongue stuck out in total concentration. Rhythmic music pulsed into the little clearing from beyond a nearby hedge. Some distance away, Rainbow landed next to four ponies who watched Twilight’s lavender spasms intently. “Hey guys, you should have seen the look on… Oh, wow,” she said as her voice trailed off and her eyes grew large, “just… wow.” Looking around sheepishly, she added, “Does Twilight know we’re watching? I mean, does she realize just how…” “Not a bit, darling,” sighed Rarity. “Not a bit. Your marefriend is completely oblivious to the atrocities she’s inflicting on centuries of cultured social dance.” Pink hooves suddenly blocked their field of vision. “Popcorn?” “No thank you, Pinkie," Rarity sighed, "although Twilight must have been taking lessons from you, as she seems to have no sense of propriety whatsoever.” “Sense of propriety? Is that like Pinkie Sense? Because I’ve been twitchy-twitching all over and that means there’s a real doozy coming, and this looks like it. I’m so glad Twilight’s dancing because dancing makes her happy and I love seeing ponies happy but,” and at this Pinkie Pie seemed to deflate a little from her usual cotton-candy-maned bubbly self, “if she knew we all thought her dancing looked like an epileptic gerbil being electrocuted then she might not be so happy.” Pinkie paused for a moment, then her mane and tail sprung back to normal. “But the rest of us are all happy and laughing, and the more the merrier, so I’m okie-dokey-lokey with that!” Applejack sat to one side and shook her head beneath a wide Stetson hat and muttered, “Ain’t never seen nothin’ like it. Not since Big Mac drank a bad batch o’ Zap Apple Cider an’ thought it’d be a good idea to cool hisself by drinkin’ straight honey, without shakin’ the bees off the honeycomb first.” Suddenly grinning, she leaned toward Rainbow and whispered, “Does Twi get this, uh, energetic durin’ y’all’s private time, RD?” Rainbow lifted an eyebrow. “Sparky? Sure, she can keep up with Rainbow Awesome Dash. But this filly?” she said, pointing at Twilight as the unicorn swiveled and oscillated unsteadily to a beat which had ended some minutes earlier, “Never met her.” Applejack began to protest but a blue hoof to her muzzle interrupted her. “Got that, AJ? Never seen her before. Don’t know her. And you can’t prove otherwise.” Fluttershy quietly ignored the others and instead stood rapt by the grating display of gesticulations. “I feel like I should, um, tend to her or something. I think I have an herbal remedy from Zecora that I could treat her with.” She grew misty-eyed as she recalled, “Twilight reminds me of Mister Hedgehog, after he was run over by the garbage cart. His little legs just kind of, um, vibrated and spasmed a little before he… he…” She burst into streams of tears and bawled, “Oh, poor Twilight! She must’ve been run over by the dessert cart, I just know it!” The quivering pegasus was seconds from rushing to Twilight’s aid, certain that she would soon be called upon to deliver last rites, when a great gust of moonflower-scented air and a shower of indigo sparks announced the arrival of royalty. “Greetings, ponies,” boomed the resonant tones of the Night Princess. “Greatly have we enjoyed the night’s festivities. We are glad that…” Luna trailed off for a moment, then reared up on night-blue wings and bellowed in Royal Canterlot’s most commanding voice, “SWEET MERCIFUL MOON! TWILIGHT SPARKLE HATH BEEN POSSESSED BY THE NIGHTMARE! PONIES, QUICKLY! GATHER THY ELEMENTS! I SHALL HOLD OFF THIS MONSTROSITY UNTIL WE CAN EXORCISE THE FOUL DEMON FROM YOUNG SPARKLE! EVEN NOW IT TWISTS HER POOR BODY INTO HIDEOUS GYRATIONS!” “Hold yer hat, there, Princess. Twi’s just dancin’.” Luna paused, mid-air, and raised an eyebrow. “SHE IS... She is – dancing? I thought surely some foul spirit lately freed from Tartarus was controlling her every sickening motion.” “Nah. Popcorn?” Dash took several steps backwards, slowly and deliberately easing away from the gathering crowd. Gingerly she stuck her head through the hedge and whispered, “Hey, Vinyl! Emergency favor to ask you. Can you kill this beat? Move on to something a little less, ya know, danceable? Please, as a favor to your favorite Best Young Flyer and future Wonderbolt?” She growled a little, ruffled her feathers, and hissed, “How about for a sack of bits? Perform a free rainboom at your wedding? Come on, V, help a mare out!” She ducked her head back through the hedge and sat scowling, forelegs crossed. “Rats! Bad news, girls. It looks like the entertainment will be here all night.” Shrinking behind her mane, she muttered, “So. Totally. Uncool.” Luna swallowed a hoofful of buttery popcorn and mused, “I confess, though I have been exiled for a millennium, I have taken pains to study the latest Equestrian culture, and still I did not recognize this as dance. Art thou certain?” A voice both calming and majestic answered, “Why yes, sister, indeed it is!” Princess Celestia, radiantly bathed in moonlight and smiling beatifically, cantered up to the assembled audience. “You are a lucky mare, Miss Dash! Isn’t Twilight graceful? To think, before she became my personal pupil, she couldn’t dance at all.” Celestia’s eyes twinkled as she sighed and smiled. “I taught her everything I knew of dance. Centuries of refinement in the movement arts, and she caught on so quickly! I’m so proud of her.”