//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Adventures Of Damien The Not So Average Guy // by Flutterftw123 //------------------------------// ON THE ROAD TO PONYVILLE I had taken out my Iphone again and decided to listen to a bit more music. I was scrolling through my huge collection of random music until I found a song that I wanted. As the intro guitar starts I once again start air guitaring and begin singing along, high pitched voice and all. Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel Touching you, touching me touching you, god you're touching me I am also now dancing down the road, I can be very theatrical when no one's looking. Side stepping and sliding around on the balls of my feet, I then began rubbing my hands all over myself in a semi sensual semi crazy way. Looking like a complete idiot. I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! HUH! I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK! Touching you, touching me touching you, god you're touching me I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! Guitar! AIR GUITAR SOLO Touching you, touching me touching you, god you're touching me I believe in a thing called love Just listen to the rhythm of my heart There's a chance we could make it now We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down I believe in a thing called love Ooh! I start shredding on my imaginary guitar like my life depended on it. Eyes closed I slide to a stop and flash both hands into the air with devil horns for good measure. As the song comes to an end I look ahead and notice another little pegasus pony, only this one was a nice cyan color and had a rainbow colored mane and tail. No I'm not making that up. It was split perfectly into solid stripes of colored hair with no overlapping of colors. That coupled with it actually hovering in the air broke my physics engine in my brain. "Oh how cool another pegasus pony thing." I whisper to myself. I crouch down a bit and start reaching out to it like you would a dog. "I aint gonna hurt ya, why don't you come on over here and we can be friends?" I tried to coax the cute little critter my way so I could pet its mane and see if it was naturally that way. "Uh... how about no." It said as it turned in mid air and shot off into the sky at a blinding speed leaving a rainbow colored trail in its wake. I must have been crouching there like that for a good two minutes or something, considering my brain just stopped. loading... loading... loading... "HOLY FUCK IT TALKED!!!" I shout out as I jumped to my feet completely forgetting about my new gained strength. Now close to fifty feet in the air I saw what seemed to be a town in the distance. It looked to be a pretty low tech looking little village, with a tall building towards its center. The buildings however were absurdly bright in color and looked like they had thatched roofing. 'Is that a gingerbread hous?' I also saw the ground quickly coming to meet me from my new found height. "OH SHIT!" I scream out as I got closer to the ground on instinct I straightened out my legs and bent them completely once I felt the ground to act sort of like a cushion. It worked completely. I was now crouched down inside of a small crator that I made. I felt absolutely no pain, a bit of vibration from the shock but nothing else. It was like jumping onto a bounce house that was deflating. I let a small smile cross my face as I bent further into my crouch and placed my right fist on the ground in front of me. I could not control the nerd in me as I coiled up for the jump. "To infinity, AND BEYOND!!!" I squeel like a fangirl as I launch myself into the air. Leaving an even larger crator in my place. OVER THE SKIES OF PONYVILLE 'What the hay was that thing.' Rainbow thought to herself. She had never seen anything like it before. She couldn't help but giggle as she thought back to the silly way it danced and sang down the road...to Ponyville. 'What ever it is I better tell Twi about it.' She thought to herself before speeding off towards the library. TWILIGHTS LIBRARY "Ok ok just calm down ok?" Twilight tried to calm the four children that had just rushed in through the door to the library. "Now let's start from the beggining, and one at a time please." Twilight sat down on her haunches as she listened to the crusaders and Spike. "Well first we were on our way ta Zecoras, cuz we wanted ta see if we could get our cutie marks in potion making." Applebloom started. "And then we heard this weird sound." Sweetie Belle took over. "Yea, and we thought if we checked it out and discovered a new animal we'd get our cutie marks in creature discovery." Scootaloo piped in. "And then we saw it, it was tall and scary looking." Sweetie Belle stood up on her hind hooves to try and imitate the monster. "We followed it for a while and then out of no where it hits a tree and makes it EXPLODE!" Scootaloo jumps in the air waving her hooves about. "Yea, yea, and that's when we noticed that it was heading fer Ponyville, so we hightailed it here to warn everypony." Applebloom finished. It took awhile for Twilight to process everything the girls told her. They looked way too worried for this to be a prank. As she was about to open her mouth to speak the door to the library swung open again and a cyan and rainbow blur slammed into Twilight sending the mares tumbling into a book case. "Ugh RAINBOW!!!" Twilight exclaimed. As she pushed her friend off of her. "Hehe sorry about that Twi, but there'e something I need to tell ya." Rainbow said as she helped her friend to her hooves. "What ever it is it can wait, the girls here said they saw a monster heading this way." Twilight said as she brushed a book off of her back. "Wait what's this monster look like?" Rainbow asked as she turned towards the crusaders. A brow raised. "Well it was tall and was walking on two legs." Applebloom tried to stand on her hind legs but fell back to four immediately. "It didn't have any fur except for the mane on its head." Sweetie Belle patted the top of her head. "And it looked like it was wearing some clothes." Scootaloo finished, a sparkle in her eyes while she talked to her idol. "I think I saw it on my way here." Rainbow said as she remembered the strange dancing creature she saw before. "I don't know if it's as bad as you girls say it is, when I saw it it was singing and dancing and being all silly." Rainbow had a small smile on her face and let out a giggle as she remembered the image of the dancing biped. Before anypony could say anything else a loud almost deafening thud could be heard from outside of town. "That doesn't sound good." Spike said as he made an audible gulp. "Rainbow you get AJ and Fluttershy, I'll get Rarity and Pinkie and meet us in the center of town." Twilight ordered. Rainbow gave a salute and launched out the still open door. "Spike you stay here with the girls and keep them safe." "You can count on me Twi." Spike saluted and closed and locked the door as she left the Library. RIGHT OUTSIDE PONYVILLE "OH MY GOD!!! That was SO cool!" I could not contain my joy. I had just jumped like the incredible hulk to the town I saw, and felt absolutely no real pain from the landings. I did feel a bit tired but that was it. I looked ahead and saw a large sign on an archway that read "Ponyville". "Ponyville? The hell kinda girly name is that?" I ask aloud as I crouch and readied myself for another jump, squeeling like a child in a candy store. If I'm gonna live in this world I'm gonna make a hell of a first impression. And I launch myself into the air again. Using even more force to gain as much height as possible. THE CENTER OF PONYVILLE "Twilight dear, tell me again why we had to rush to the middle of town? You didn't really give much of an explanation." Rarity was brushing some of her mane out of her face as they waited for the others. "Yea Twilight, I was in the middle of a cupcake eating contest with myself!" Pinkie exclaimed."And I was SO close to beating myself too!" Twilight just ignored Pinkies' complaints. "Because for all we know a crazy, super strong, tall, and scary monster is on its way to Ponyville for Celestia knows what." Twilight said to her friends as she saw Rainbow approaching with AppleJack and waved them over. "Now what in tarnation is all this 'bout a monster?" AppleJack asks as she comes to a stop infront of her friends. Before anypony could say anything however they all looked around after hearing an odd song playing in the distance coming from seemingly no where. RIGHT ABOVE PONYVILLE 'Time for an epic ass entrance.' I think to myself as I slip out my phone and start playing a song, right at the absolute highest of my jump before I feel myself start to fall. I let the guitar rif play as I plummet towards the ground, using my arms to shift my weight around and aim my self away from a group of ponies I can see from the sky, I can't make out any details but I saw atleast five of them. "I AM IRON MAN!" I scream as I crash through the statue of a pony and land on the other side of the fountain it was on. Pulling off the Iron man landing pose perfectly. I squeel with delight on the inside as I slide my hand into my pocket and cut off the music. After letting the chorus play once. PONIES POV Some strange music was steadily getting louder. The five mares were looking around to try and see where it was coming from. Then they all looked up as they heard something scream. "I AM IRON MAN!" before crashing through the statue of Princess Celestia and smashing into the ground. The music was emenating from the creature that crashed into the ground but abruptly stopped. The five ponies looked through the smoke wide eyed as a large figure began to stand up. It was atleast 15 feet away from them and hidden by dust from its impact, but even then they could see that it towered over them. It was bipedal just as the crusaders and Dash said. They couldn't make out any other details about it since it was clouded in dust. But the fact that what ever this was just smashed through the solid stone of the statue and seemed unphased was more than enough to intimidate the group. "What in the name of Celestia?" Twilight said as she slowly began to approach the creature, the dust finally settling. MAIN CHARACTERS POV I stood in the crator I made surrounded by dust and dirt I had made airborne through my landing. I slowly turned around as I heard a voice behind me. It sounded feminine, so I turned around and did a grandiose bow. "Good afternoon madame my name is Damien Wilson and I would like to formally apologize for the destruction of your statue." It's important to make a good first iimpression. "Uhm, hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle." Said the voice. The dust had fully cleared now and there before me stood five brightly colored ponies. All of which I wished to hug right away, but I held myself back. There was a purple one infront of me with a purple mane and tail with a pink stripe running through it. It had a horn so I assumed it was a unicorn. There was another unicorn behind it, this one was a brilliant white with a royal purple mane and tail styled up in a way that would make Marilyn Monroe jealous. Next to that one was an orange pony, this one was hornless, and lacked wings. But it did have a blonde mane and tail, both done up in pony tails, redundent no? Directly behind that one was a pink pony, with pink mane and tail, it was also smileing at me which unnerved me for some reason. And hovering above all of them was a familiar cyan pegasus. "Wow, colorful." I said out loud. "Now where are you ma'am?" I asked as I looked past the colorful equines. "Uh, I'm right here." I heard the voice again. I looked down at the purple unicorn. "Hello, as I was saying my name is Twilight Sparkle, personal student to Princess Celestia ruler of the land of Equestria." I saw the unicorns mouth move and the voice I heard before came out of it. Yet the idea of this seemed to stall my brain and put me in a temporary state of 'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. "The pony just talked." I told myself outloud, as I smacked myself once hard in the face. "Why'd you just hit yourself? And of course I could talk." This, what was it? Twilight Sparkle, looked at me with a mix of worry, confusion, and a bit of fear. "So all of you ponies can talk?" I ask looking between Twilight and the others. "Well, I'd say so. Unless you meet a pony whose mute, or a foal that hasn't learned yet." Twilight reasoned. "Then that means...that yellow pegasus...I...hugged..." I whispered to myself. It was apparent that these ponies were the dominant race of atleast this villiage, there fore I would assume of the whole planet. This was reinforced as more ponies came out of the buildings around us looking on in curious caution. This also means that I had treated one of these sentient beings like a puppy. First impression? All things considered, it could have been worse. "Ehem, as I was saying my name is Twilight Sparkle, and you said yours was Damien?" The unicorn said inturrupting my thought process. "Uh yes." I didn't look at her at first, I was still trying to wrap my mind around the whole talking, unneccesarily adorable, ponies thing. "Ok then, Damien, if you don't mind me asking, what are you?" Twilight asked, this time I looked right at her and she visibly flinched as if I was scowling. Wait I might have been scowling, I tend to do that when deep in thought. "Well, I am a human. Are there no humans here?" I ask as I look through the crowd of multi colored equines. "As far as I know you're the first of your kind in Equestria, or atleast Ponyville." Twilight said as she looked me up and down as if trying to find a hidden knife or something. I notice her looking at me intently so I decide to do a little bit of trolling. "I know that I'm quite sexy, but please atleast try to keep your lustful gaze above my waistline." I say as I cover up my crotch in mock embarassment. This brings just the kind of reaction I want as I see her face turn a nice light shade of pink and she quickly looks away, the rainbow maned one rolling on her back laughing. I flash her a mischievous grin as she glares death at me. "If ya'll don't mind me askin'? What are ya here fer and why'd ya trash our fountain?" The orange pony said with a thick country accent approaching me in a defensive stance. "Hehe, yea sorry about that, I guess I didn't take into account colaterol damage when I jumped in to town." I rub the back of my head embarassed. "As for why I'm here? well it's kinda a long story so here's the short version." I take a huge breath before beggining. "I died got mystically transported here to live out my life by death because I wasn't meant to die yet I wake up in some forest punch a tree find I'm super strong hug a cute bunny then hug an even cuter pony danced like an idiot and jumped to this town with my newly accuired super strength accidentally bust through a statue and am now talking to technicolor talking sentient ponies." I take a huge breath after giving the jist of my story in one breath. The five ponies before me blinked twice, before a soft yet frantic voice is heard from behind them and a familiar yellow pegasus gallops up to them. "Oh girls I am so glad I found you all, there was this big scary monster and it hugged angel, but when I tried to ask it to let him go it hugged me instead and..." She trails off as her eyes settle on me. At once the frantic yet still quiet ramblings turn into in-audible murmmers as she hides behind her mane and then behind the orange pony. "It's ok sugarcube." Sugar cube? "This here is Damien, though ah'm not right sure if we should trust im." The orange one says, a bit of venom in her voice as she looks between me and the yellow pony. Said yellow pegasus peeks out from behind her orange friend and looks at me with one eye. I smile awkwardly and she retreats behind her friend and even lets out a little frightened squeel. 'MUST GLOMP PONY!!!" No no, bad brain do not glomp cute pony! I cautiously walk toward the orange pony, earning a protective glare from her and the cyan pegasus. I see them eyeing me so I raise my hands in peace and proceed slowly until I am close enough to look behind the orange one at the cutest thing that has ever lived ever. I try to smile in as friendly a way as possible and kneel down to their eye level. Can't be towering over them when I'm trying to make a good impression. At full standing height these ponies only reached to about my waistline at the tip of their ears. "I promise, I'm not here to hurt anyone, I just want to live in peace. And if you truly don't want me here I can leave." I look the orange pony in the eye as I say this, and glance to her right and see the yellow pegasus peek out again. Before anything else could be said though a loud trio of screams were heard that echoed across the entire town. Without even thinking I stand up, about face, and run off as fast as I could in the direction of the screams, bounding over every building that got in my way. I raced through the village as fast as possible towards the sound until I see a large grove of apple trees and three little filly ponies running away from what I could only describe as a giant lion with bat wings and a scorpion tail. I land right between the fleeing fillies and the lion thing bracing for impact. The lion thing barrels right into me, but I bury my feet into the ground and hold taking the brunt of the charge. The creature struggles to get free but I hold tight and wound up turning it around so its back was against my chest. I grab around its chest and lift the creature into the air before flexing my back backwards and slamming its head into the ground in a german suplex. Its body goes limp and I let go only to have a sharp and excruciating pain shoot out from my back. I wing around quickly and see another one of the lion things only this one had some blood trickling off of its stinger like tail. 'Oh shit did I just get stung?!?' I rush the creature and shoulder tackle it a good twenty feet before a apple tree stops it. But I don't let up, I rush again shouldering it once more this time through the tree and about two others. But it still isn't enough apparently, the stupid thing gets back up, all be it wobbly as a chihuahua in a moving car. I'm in no better a state though as my vision starts to get blurry and the world spins around me. 'Dammit, gotta end this quick.' Using what strength I have left I rush at the creature again, it swinging its tail at me again. Only this time I grab hold of the tail as it slammed into my side, thankfully not getting hit by the stinger again. I grab hold of the tail tightly and begin spinning, at first I start out slow, but eventually I build up a lot of speed. I keep it up until I can't stand it anymore and finally release letting the creature sail off into the sky clear past the barn and deep into the forest. "That's right!" I exclaim as I raise a fist to the heavens. "Like a booooss..." And then darkness overtakes me, and the last thing I remember is my face hitting the ground and the sound of hooves on the ground around me.