How the hell did this happen? Or should that now be hay?

by Lucky424

I hope Rarity knows how to make swimming trunks.......

I just wandered around town in a daze, everything going by in blur as my mind try to comprehend what it had seen. I was so out of it I didn't see the building in front of me. Next thing I know there is a really pink face in my vision. It said something but it was out of focus, so I shook my head and looked again. “.....Lucky? Are you okay?”

“Yeah Pinkie, I'm fine. I...just had a little shock from Rarity, that's all.”

“Well come inside, we'll get you something to eat. But use the door this time, not the wall.” I followed her in to the bakery, and was surprised to see Strike still there.

“Strike, why are you here?”

“I went back this morning sir and Lieutenant Feather said you didn't leave any orders. He said to stay in town if anything came up, so I decided to come back here. Are you okay sir, you look like you've seen a ghost.”

“A ghost I could handle. Rarity wanted my opinion on something to 'help' Nova open up around her.”

Pinkie came trotting over with a fresh tray of muffins. “Oooh, I bet it was a new dress. I suppose she looked wonderful in it?”

“She looked wonderful all right Pinkie, but....it wasn't a dress.”

“Then what? Was she naked? I mean, we are most of the time, but still?”

“No she was wearing......something. It's just......there wasn't much of it.”

“I don't understand. Was she wearing something or not?” Strike leaned over to Pinkie, who's eyes went wide with his descriptions. She suddenly tore out the door without so much as a goodbye, and we both looked at the empty space for a moment before Strike spoke.

“So....how are the others doing?”

“I've got Bolt and Granny Smith talking, so hopefully that's sorted. I haven't seen Starfyre since yesterday evening. Sergeant Legstrong seemed to be fine with AJ. Lieutenant Feather and Lady Sparkle are now on more than speaking terms. She stayed over in his room last night.” I saw his grinning features looking at me from across the table and shook my head. “Nothing happened. It didn't help his chances that her parents stayed the night as well. They just watched a movie together.”

“Yeah, from the back row I bet. What about Jet?”

“Sergeant Streak and Lady Fluttershy are doing fine.”

“Sir, you are hiding something. What happened?”

“He's a stallion, and she's not much of a Lady.”

“You mean they...” He didn't have time to continue as Pinkie raced back in and set a bag on the floor. She walked right up to Strike and did something I would never have thought I'd see Pinkie Pie do. She started to smile seductively at him and leant close, then she began to whisper, but loud enough for me to hear.

“When you're ready, I'll be waiting for you upstairs.” She pulled him close and kissed him, before turning around and grabbing the bag then heading upstairs, hip swinging more pronounced as she walked. I watched Strike follow her with his eyes, and just like Feather, his horn started to glow.

“Well, Corporal, lets get back to work shall we.” He turned towards me, his eyes filled with pleading, knowing he was on to a sure thing and that I was the only obstacle that he had. “Ponyville's not going to protect itself you know.”

He looked down at the table top and his horn stopped glowing. “Yes sir. We need to start planning patrol routes and....”

“Strike.”

“Yes sir?”

“I'm just messing with you.” He looked up at me and saw the grin on my face. He almost fell out of the booth in his haste to get upstairs, just as the Cakes were coming out of the kitchen, the foals with them. “Good afternoon guys. Do you have anything planned today?”

“Afternoon Captain, nice to see you again. And no, it's Sunday. We were actually about to close up, but seeing as you're still here.....” He was interrupted by a blue unicorn stallion rushing down the stairs and over to me, horn glowing brightly. His cuite mark was a lightning bolt hitting a target.

“Sir, I know we need to get set up with patrols and the like but can I please have the rest of the day off?”

“Planning and meetings are a Monday morning thing.”

“Thank you sir.”

Mr Cake just stood there dumbfounded at the appearance of the strange unicorn from inside his house. “Excuse me, but who exactly are you and what are you.....” He was again interrupted, but by a female voice from upstairs, speaking in a sing song tone.

“Stri-ke, come back up-stairs.” He just looked to the owner who nodded his head, and then the blue unicorn was gone again.

“When I asked if you had anything planned, I was going to suggest you take the foals out for a nice leisurely stroll.” They looked at each other before Cup Cake reached for their foal carrying saddle thing.

“That sounds like a good idea, would you like to join us?” I looked at the map I had been given and saw the lake was around an hour away. I glanced at my watch and the time was just coming up to thirteen hundred.

“No thank you. I'm off to the lake for a swim.” We all made a hasty exit at a thud from upstairs.

Arriving at the lake, I was quite pleased to see that Aloe, or Lotus, was indeed correct and it was deserted. This left little chance of me scarring any foals that could be here. Walking over to a bush, I gave on last look around before stripping off. I'd have to go to the hospital to get my bandages changed, but treatment was free for Royal Guards throughout Equestria. Walking down to the edge, I sat on a rock and eased my legs in.

The water was cool, but warm at the same time. It was understandable if it was still summer, as the heat from the sun would keep it warm, and any breeze would cool it down. I slid myself in and began to float around on my back like I had been told to do.

After a couple of hours I started to feel sore, and I knew that it was time to get out. Swimming over to where I got in, I laid out on the rock to let the sun dry me off. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, and soon I had drifted off along with the peace and quiet that was present every where nearby.

I got in to that semi awake state where everything is just out of focus and you body is restarting. I could hear voices around me, but at a distance. “Okay there he is. I told you he was down here.” It's okay, they're just looking.

“He looks so weird. Look at those 'hands' of his.” My hands?

“I bet they give a good massage.” Go ask Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, we heard you mother wants one from him.” Mother?....oh no.

“What my mother does is none of your business Diamond Tiara.”......fuck!

“Just look at him. Why anypony would want to have a friend like him is beyond me. I heard his species doesn't even get cutie marks. What kind of life would that be, not knowing what you're good at?” Wow, she really is a bitch.

“You mean like your cutie mark entitles you to be bucking snob when you haven't actually done anything to earn it?” Okay, somepony knows the truth.....

“That's it, you're going down!” Should I stop this?

“Hey, you leave Ruby alone! Nopony invited y'all anyhow, so why don't you and Silver Snob get lost?” Applebloom. Great, now AJ is going to kill me.

“You can't tell me what to do!! I'll just tell my daddy to stop buying from you, and then you won't even have a home. It's bad enough that you don't have a cutie mark.....let alone parents.” Okay enough is enough.

I sat up and opened my eyes. Just along the shore from my rock was a sand bank and that is where the colts and fillies had gathered. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and a couple of others stood starring down Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and I'm guessing Ruby. I felt something around my waist so I had a quick glance down. I had a towel wrapped round me with a note attached to it.

They've been here.....whilst I was naked? I'll talk to them about that later, got something much more important to do. I stood up and the fillies hadn't seen me yet. I walked around the bushes, picking my pistol up on the way and coming up behind Diamond Tiara and her friends. I saw Applebloom sniffing, and Scootaloo raised her head to make her look at me. She started to smile instantly, and Diamond Tiara took another jibe. “Why are you smiling about that? It's not very nice, they're probably turning in their graves at their pitiful filly right now.”

“Perhaps I should remove your parents from this world, and see how you turn out. Would you like me to do that?”

The fillies all turned round and looked up at me and then screamed before running off. I'd deal with the fallout later, if at all. I turned my attention to the one who had tears in her eyes and sat down in front of her. “Hey Applebloom, you okay?”

She just let out a wail as she jumped in to my arms and started sobbing. Her friends all looked on worried, and we all gave a start as a voice sounded from beside us. “Lucky, jus' what do ya think ya doin' with mah sister?”

I turned and looked over to the mare with an angry face, before setting Applebloom back down and nudging her towards her friends. “AJ, this isn't what it looks like. We need to talk, and it's more than likely going to drag up some bad memories. I'll understand if you don't want to.” She just nodded and motioned towards my clothes.

Ten minutes later and we were sat on a bench watching the children play. “So, what did ya want to talk about?”

“The colts and fillies must have come down after school. I was awoken by them talking, but then an argument broke out, and one called Diamond Tiara said something to Applebloom that should never have left her mouth........”

“What did she say?”

“I.....don't think you want to know.”

“Lucky....you'd best be telling me what that filly said, or Ah'm going to have to get Celestia involved.”

“She said that if Applebloom didn't shut up, then she'd tell her father to stop buying from you, making you loose your house.” I sighed knowing that this was going to make Applejack extremely angry.

“Well, come on, out with it. I ain't got no patience when it comes t' that family.”

“She said it was bad enough not having a cuite mark........or parents....”

“SHE WHAT??? What else, I can tell there's more!!!”

“When I walked over, Applebloom started to smile, and Diamond Tiara thought it was to her and she said.........that your parents were turning in their graves at their pitiful filly....and that's when I spoke.”

“What did you say to them?”

“I may be in trouble with Celestia for this one....”

“What. Did. You. Say?”

“I kind of threatened to......remove her parents to see how she would like it.”

“Oh Lucky......you didn't....”

“Yeah, so much for 'Captain Fire Rain'. Now it's going to be 'human prisoner'.”

“I don't think that will be necessary.” I jumped up and turned around, shocked at who was there. I instantly brought myself to attention and saluted as Applejack bowed to the ground.

“Princess Celestia ma'am. I was not expecting you.”

“At ease Captain. I am here on something of a whim, due to my latest letter from Twilight. I saw what just happened.”

“Yes ma'am.”

“I am glad you showed restraint. If I wasn't a princess, I would have bucked that filly myself, especially today, of all days.”

Applejack got up with tears in her eyes. “Thank you, yer highness. It is always a pleasure to see you, like you say, today of all days.”

“I don't mean to be rude, but what's so special about today?” I had my suspicions, but I chose to find out all the facts first.

“Captain, gather the guard. Have them meet us at Sweet Apple Acres at six o'clock. They are to be in their dress uniform. Do not worry, you have one as well. It has been delivered to the guard station.”

“Yes Ma'am.”

It was ten to six when we walked through the entrance to the farm. Celestia was joined by Luna, Cadence, Shining Armour and the other six Captains. All of the Bearers had come along as well, making me realise that this was an important thing. A blur of red movement caught my eye, and I walked over to Mac, who was stood with Shining Armour. Mac was in a partial tuxedo, whilst Armour was in his dress uniform, the same one from his wedding. I was wearing the same, but fitted out for my size and shape, with my modified insignia on the sleeves. Mac began to speak, and I could hear the emotions hidden behind it.

“Ah'd just like to thank you both for coming. Ah know Celestia asked yer both, but still the whole family appreciates yer efforts.”

I just looked on confused whilst Armour replied. “Macintosh, he was my Captain. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here today. I would have come even without the request of the princesses.”

“Ah know you would Glowy, and I happy you would do that.”

“Look guys, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but what is going on? And 'Glowy'?”

Mac looked over to the other ponies, mostly the mares and then turned his attention to me. I had a feeling the guards all ready knew. “I met Glowy here in Canterlot around fifteen years ago. It was when we were doing our guard training. Ah had to quit to come help with the farm when Granny got to old. AJ wasn't old enough to help around properly. Mah father was our Captain at the time, held the same position as Glowy.”

“What happened?”

I could see Mac almost at the breaking point, and so could Armour, so he continued instead. “They think it was a rouge Griffon group, and their government denies all knowledge or involvement. It doesn't matter now. There was an attempt on Celestia's life. The assassin managed to get all the way to her chambers and was about to strike, but Captain Swift Kicker managed to get there just in time. The strike missed Celestia.......and caught him instead. The assassin was thrown out of the window on fire.”

“Mac, I'm sorry, I didn't realise....I didn't mean to sound like a jerk....”

“It's okay. Mah father did his duty an' paid the ultimate sacrifice. Any of us would. That was five years ago to the day. Mah mother followed a few months later, she jus' couldn't cope any more. It's why me an' AJ had to help Granny raise Applebloom. And why we always appreciate it when the Princesses or the guards come along.” He looked back over to the group and saw them moving off. “It's time, come on”.

I had followed the others at a distance to a large apple tree standing alone. There were two headstones there, the final resting place of the Apple siblings parents. Words were said by everypony present, and I watched in awe at the amount of raw respect their father had, mainly from Celestia. As she finished up, I realised I hadn't said anything, and that was not right to me.

“Everypony? I know I'm the outsider here, but I was wondering if I may be permitted to say a few words?”

Mac nodded in my direction and pointed a hoof towards the graves. I walked up to them and reached in to my pocket....and the pocket sized bible they issued me in basic. I remembered the Padre's joke about it. Keep it in you left breast pocket, that way if they are aiming for your heart, it will stop the bullet. You need to use it for something! I had never been the religious type, but there is one prayer that I know is normally held dear to soldiers, especially those in dire situations. I turned to the correct page and cleared my throat, then began speaking.