I'm Pinkie Pie, for those of you who didn't know. Of course, I don't know WHY you wouldn't know me! I mean, I REALLY stand out in a crowd! Pink coat, darker pink and poofy mane, balloons as her cutie mark, how do you miss me? Anyway, I like parties, I really like my friends, and I really REALLY like to have fun! Most of all, I love a rainbow.
And I hate it. I hate loving a rainbow.
Why? I can tell that's what some of you ponies are probably asking right now. Why do I hate loving rainbows? How can I hate to love such beautiful things? Their colors, just melding together to form one of the most pretty things in the whole wide world? The thing that gave me my cutie mark? First, I need to stop being Pinkie Pie to tell you about this. I need to be a pony who's stronger than I am. Okay. Let me tell you a couple of things about myself.
Ponies see me on the street, and they see a pink, party-loving, not-a-care-in-the-world, probably not very bright pony. They see me as a simple, probably one-track-mind pony. Just parties and having fun.
Truth is, I'm a lot smarter than some ponies give me credit for. I can do complicated things. I can make plans. I can think things through, even if I don't show it at some times. That's one of the reasons I hate loving a rainbow. And, I'm not talking about rainbows in general. I'm talking about just one. One rainbow that I hate to love. Again, plenty of reasons why I SHOULDN'T hate loving her. She's smart. She's quick. She's fun to be around. She's beautiful. She's a little stubborn, and she kind of acts without thinking things through, but that's one of the things I love about her.
I hate loving her because she makes me stupid. Whenever I see her, I can't think things out too clearly. My heart starts racing. I start to smile for no reason. I start being random. Er, more so than usual. Whenever she's around, I start acting more "Pinkie Pie". I don't try to. I guess I do it automatically to try and make her happy and make her laugh. It doesn't always work. Whenever she gets mad at me or yells, it looks like I just brush it off on the outside. On the inside, I get really sad. Not so much that my hair goes straight, but sad enough.
I also can't stop staring at her. Her cyan blue coat, her rainbow colored mane, those rose colored eyes... I just... can't help it, I guess. When I see her, she makes me stupid. I've already said that. But, she also makes me happy. I see her, and it's like a warmth has filled me up inside. And, the warmth gets stronger when I make her smile. I guess that's why I'm always trying to make her smile. And, that's why I get so sad when she's upset with me. I mean, it's the same with all of my friends. I try to make them happy, and I try not to make them upset with me, but when things don't work out, I get sad. But, with her... it's like everything is multiplied by a bajillion.
I know that I love her. I'm sure of it. But... I don't know if she feels the same way. I don't even know if she likes somepony at all! And that tears me up inside, like if a crocodile was shoved down my throat. Okay, that was a bad comparison, but I hope you get the idea. I know that I should tell her how I feel, but...I'm just scared. And, the more I wait, the more my heart hurts, but the more it hurts, the more I think I should wait, and it just keeps going and going.
It makes me cry at night sometimes. I just think about her while I'm lying in bed, anything about her, and the tears just start coming. Cupcakes don't help, neither do muffins, almost nothing helps when I start crying at night. The only thing that helps is screaming. I scream and scream and scream into my pillow until I can't scream anymore, and I feel a little better. I know I shouldn't do this to myself, but like I said... I'm scared.
But, talking about it seems to be helping right now. I see what I need to do. I need to go up to her, and tell her how I feel. And, if she shares the same feelings, then great! But, if she doesn't...then I'll just hope that this doesn't ruin our friendship. I don't know exactly who is reading this (or who I'm writing this to, for that matter), but I have one thing to say to you: Thank you. Now, I can go back to being Pinkie Pie... Okie dokie lokie! Thank you SO much for helping, everypony! Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna tell Rainbow Dash that... I love her!
See you later, everypony!
Yeah, I wrote this just because. It was a little idea that popped into my head, and ideas that pop into my head tend to assault my mind at all hours of the day unless I type them out(yes, SPECIFICALLY type. Writing it out doesn't do crap.). So, yeah, feedback is appreciated. This is only the second story I've written, so PLEASE tell me how I can be a better writer, because honestly, this just isn't cutting it. Thanks for reading.