//------------------------------//
// The Long Way Home 
// Story: Beauty Is Where You Find It 
// by Verdigris 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 17


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“Does it feel that your life's become a catastrophe?  Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy.  When you look through the years and see what you could have been oh, what might have been, if you'd had more time.  So, when the day comes to settle down, who's to blame if you're not around?  You took the long way home.  You took the long way home.” – Supertramp, Take The Long Way Home, (Breakfast In America)

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Verdigris woke to pain.  He laid there and placed where it came from, and found more sources than he remembered.  Not just his wing roots – How’d I manage to fly like that? – but his side ached.  He shifted his right wing, and saw the glint of metal.  Oh, what an idiot.  I slept on the blade.  He shifted, but there was a sharp, bite-like flare of pain.  No, that’s not going to work.  He concentrated, and levitated up a few feet.  He carefully extended his left wing, and the pain changed from sharp to dull.

He waved his right wing, and revolved to where he could get his hooves underneath him and stood up.  Blood dripped on the floor, and he looked at his side.  The cut wasn’t deep, but it bled like crazy.  He looked at the bed, and saw a lot of blood there.  Ugh, no wonder I feel like hay.  Better take care of this.  He concentrated, and his aura extended, covering not only himself, but the blood he’d lost.  He closed his eyes and focused.

Blackhawk walked in, a greeting dying on his lips as he saw Verdigris.  A green-white aura surrounded him and the blood on the floor and soaking the bed.  As he watched, the wounds healed and the blood floated up from where it sat, diffusing into a cloud and apparently re-entering his body through his skin.  His mouth dropped open, not only at the sight, but also upon seeing the wing-blades.  He put two and two together quickly.

What kind of pony are you? he wondered as Verdigris extended his wings and tested them.  The glow faded, and the Alicorn just stood there, looking tired.  “Are you all right?”

“I’m stupid.  Thanks for asking,” Verdigris replied.  “It wouldn’t have taken ten seconds to take the blades off, but I was so worn out I forgot all about them.”  He sounded angry with himself, and Blackhawk couldn’t blame him.  It was a rookie mistake.  “I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, flew here while injured and then this.  Surestrike and Birchbark would give me a hoof to the head for sure, and I’d deserve it.”  He glanced at the bed, which appeared almost pristine.  “At least I got it all up.”

“Well, you seem no worse for wear.  Are you up for breakfast?”  Verdigris nodded as he removed the blades and hung them on a nearby hook.  “Where did you get them, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Guards and Coast Patrol are issued them with their armor.  Being from Oceanside, I’m obviously a Coastie.”  Verdigris stretched until his tendons cracked.  “Uhn.  Breakfast’s sounding real good, right now.”

“Come on.  The time to meet everypony will be later.”

“Oh, Celestia, how many?” Verdigris asked warily as he walked at Blackhawk’s side.

“We don’t have many permanent residents, not like we used to.  There just isn’t room for all the ponies in the Clan.  No more than a hundred, and you won’t need to meet them all.”  Blackhawk debated silently with himself, then shrugged.  “Where did you get the name Stormhawk?  I didn’t think anypony knew it outside the Aerie.”

“My little brother said he thought it should be my name when I came home after the lightning strike.”  When the Unicorn gave him a look, Verdigris continued, “It’s a long story.”  He grunted a laugh.  “Most of my life is.”

“That can wait.  We don’t start asking those kind of questions for the first two weeks.  You might have made it through the passages, but that doesn’t mean you’re all right.”

“It also doesn’t mean I’m going to collapse or fall apart.  Even veteran Guards said I’ve been through a lot for a sixteen-year-old.”

“That can wait as well, though everypony’s wondering how you’re an Alicorn.  They’re rare, obviously.”

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Verdigris said as they made a turn into a window-lined hall.  He told how Celestia had saved his life, and the effects of the infusion.  “The process started immediately, from what I was told.  I was an Alicorn the next morning.  It seemed perfectly natural, ‘cause I don’t really remember being a Pegasus, or I didn’t until recently.  I don’t miss it.  How could I?  I sometimes wonder what might have been, but Trot-Hoof is eighty-nine percent fatal, and the survivors don’t do well.  Most don’t live to adulthood, and those who do … well, some end up thinking they’d have been better off if they’d died.  There’s a half-percent chance of a full recovery, but that’s a thin hope to hold onto.”  He paused, then added, “Celestia told me I was going to die, and she had to save me to keep a promise.

“I used to think I was a freak, but I’ve mostly gotten used to it.  I’m just the pony I am, and I’m getting comfortable with it, or I would if other ponies would let me.  Oceanside’s not the only place where superstitions and prejudice can be found.”

“Canterlot hasn’t changed much, from what you’ve inferred.”  Blackhawk recalled what Verdigris said the previous evening, and asked, “How are they taking Luna’s restoration?”

“Badly.  As far as I can tell, the last thousand years didn’t pass.  She’s trying, but she’s a creature of the night, literally.  We’re a lot alike.”

Blackhawk nodded.  He’d watched Verdigris’ progress through the Entrance.  “I gathered that much.  Most ponies have problems with the darkness, but you seemed unaffected by it.  Luna was the same way.”

“She came in that way?  I didn’t think she’d bother.”

“Luna may have been many things, but she respected tradition, and I suspect she still does.  She also wanted to prove herself by our rules.  She made it, obviously, and is a Hawk for that reason.”  Blackhawk looked at Verdigris for a moment.  “You’re right, you’re a lot alike.  I have to wonder if Celestia had Luna on her mind so much it had that effect on you.  It was probably unconscious, if it did.”  He shook his head.  “Princesses aren’t easy to figure out.”

Verdigris wondered, but ignored the idea.  There was no proof.  “That’s true,” he admitted.  “But they’re not that mysterious.  Well, not to me.”  They turned through an arched opening into a large arched room that had tables arranged in long, neat rows, with ponies scattered around in small groups, talking as they ate.  Metal-lined skylights let in the early light.  The conversations died when the nearest ponies saw him, the room going silent in a slow wave as others noticed the quiet.  Verdigris stopped and looked around, meeting a few gazes before saying loudly, “I take it they’ve never seen an Alicorn.”

Blackhawk chuckled softly as the ponies turned away quickly, trying not to watch as they resumed walking.  “No, they haven’t.  Few go to Canterlot who don’t need to.  The closest settlement is Condorosa, about an hour’s flight away.  All candidates usually go there before trying the Entrance, to prepare.”  He glanced at Verdigris as they joined the queue to the serving area.  “I think you’re the first to ever come straight in.”

Verdigris face-hoofed.  Great.  Just great.  Here I go, doing the impossible – well, improbable – again.  “If I keep this up, I’m going to have a legend before I’m twenty.”

His escort chuckled.  “I’m sure their Highnesses felt the same way, at one time or another, until they got used to it.”

“That’s not helping.”  They joined the line and collected their food.  Verdigris looked a little perturbed by how much meat there was.  “I thought meat was forbidden.”

“It isn’t, exactly.  It’s more about ponies not wanting to eat speaking, thinking creatures.  This isn’t, it’s small game animals that have never shown the slightest intelligence,” Blackhawk replied.  Wearily, Verdigris thought.  “Luna never had a problem.”

“Luna supposedly visited the Kingdoms a lot,” Verdigris replied.  “Well, we eat fish on the coast, so I guess I can handle this,” he added as he took a helping of chicken.  Blackhawk smiled when he loaded up on potatoes and Brussels’ sprouts.

“You’ll get used to it.  Everypony has to.  We can’t grow much locally, and Condorosa can send us some greens and vegetables, but not enough.  We don’t eat fish, much; it’s hard to catch enough.”  Blackhawk led Verdigris to a table to one side, and they sat and began eating.  “Maybe you can give us some pointers.”

“Maybe.”  After trying the meat, and finding he liked it, Verdigris glanced around and asked, “What’s the story about Stormhawk?  Why’s he a traitor?”

“According to the records, he was one of Luna’s captains, and caused several Royal Guards to side with her when she made her move.”

“Oh, great.  Next thing you’re going to tell me is he’s my ancestor.”  Verdigris sighed.  “The way things have been, I wouldn’t be all that surprised.”

“I have no idea, and we have no record of him siring foals, but it could be,” Blackhawk said.  “There’s no way to know.”

“Oh, yes there is.  I know somepony who could tell me.”

The Unicorn stared at him.  “Are you sure you want to know?  He was a traitor.”

“So were Hammer and Anvil, but they were loyal to Luna to the end.  It’s only treason when you’re on the losing side.  When you win, you’re a revolutionary and a patriot,” Verdigris replied with a surprising level of cynicism.  “Ah, never mind.  Either way, it doesn’t matter.  It’s ancient history.”

How does he know this? Blackhawk wondered.  It must have shown on his face, because Verdigris replied, “Celestia encased them in stone, rather than execute or banish them.”  The Alicorn smiled, his ears turning as his eyes glittered in amusement; the room had gone silent as everypony strained to listen.  “I heard it straight from them, and the Princesses.”

“Horse apples,” said a half-familiar female voice from his left rear.  “You’re making that up.”

Verdigris turned to see a blue-coated, silver-maned Pegasus mare, whose cutie mark was of a single-jagged lightning bolt.  “As Celestia is my witness, it’s all true.”  Everypony cringed, knowing the Day Princess could hear anything spoken in that manner.  “I may ask Luna to come and tell you herself, but since I don’t know your name, I don’t think I’ll bother.  I don’t see that it’s worth it.”

There was a collective gasp, and a few ponies began to sidle away.  “Sky Bolt, you wouldn’t believe the Princess raised the sun unless you actually saw her do it with her own hooves,” a sea-green Unicorn stallion replied.

“Big deal, Sparrowhawk.  He can talk.  Anypony can talk.  Any idiot can talk.”

“Takes one to know one, right, sweetheart?”  Verdigris smiled when she started.  Yeah, I’m acting like a donkey, Celestia.  I think I’ve got a good enough reason, he thought as he felt the Princess’ reaction.

Just don’t take it too far.  You don’t know these ponies, she replied.

I don’t need to.  I know the type, he replied as Sky Bolt walked up to the table.  She seemed slightly put out.  “Is there a problem?”  Verdigris sat there, relaxed but watchful as Sky Bolt just stood there, looking at him.  “Okay, if you’ve got something to say, say it.  I have business to take care of.”

“Business?” Blackhawk asked.

“I have to write up a statement about yesterday for the Patrol.  When you break or fry somepony on their watch, they kinda want to know why.  I also have to authorize payment for their treatment, and explain to a Princess or two.”

Sky Bolt looked at him skeptically.  “You’re still a colt.  There’s no way.”  Verdigris stood up and looked down on her, and she flinched.  “Okay, so you’re a big colt.  There’s still no way.”

“What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?  You don’t know, and you don’t care.  This horn isn’t just a decoration.  I’ve hurt a lot of ponies, mostly in self-defense.  Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.  If you don’t have something useful to say, I’m not interested.  That applies to everypony, not just you,” Verdigris said as he returned to his seat and resumed eating.

Sky Bolt stood there staring, then turned and walked away with a huff.

Verdigris asked, “What’s her problem, and why me?”

“She does that as a kind of welcome for newcomers.  She doesn’t mean anything by it.”

“The hay she doesn’t.  I’ve been on the receiving end of that before.”  He looked at the table where Sky Bolt sat.  “It’s almost like she’s seeing how far she can push a pony, and how much they’ll let her get away with.”

Blackhawk nodded.  “You could be right.  She doesn’t do it to everypony who comes in.”  He paused then said, “We don’t usually allow outside contact, but something’s telling me we can’t stop you.”

“I know the ‘Fire-Sending’ spell, so no, you can’t.  I’ve also got to keep track of what’s going on.  I run a business, and there’s no way the Princesses will like me dropping off the face of Equis.  Neither will my marefriends.  I literally took off without planning, and I’m missing a few things I’m probably going to need,” Verdigris said.  “My reading glasses, for one.”

“I can see that.  Do you do that often, just go?”

“Seems like it’s all I do,” the Alicorn replied with a twisted smile.  “I get a few years where nothing goes wrong, but when it does...” he trailed off significantly.

“Fair enough.  We don’t expect much.  Most ponies who come here just need to get away for a while.  Regain their perspective, and maybe get their balance back.  Sounds like you could use all three.”

“You’re probably right.”  Verdigris shook his head.  “You’re right not to expect anything.  I do what I feel I need to do, and clean up the mess afterwards.”  He shrugged.  “It’s just how I am.”

Blackhawk nodded, and they continued to eat in silence.  The sea-green Unicorn approached, and Verdigris said, “What can I do for you, Sparrowhawk?”

“I was wondering about your coloring.  I’ve never seen that.”

“It’s a little soon, Sparrow,” Blackhawk said.

“No, I don’t mind.  Sit down; this will take a little while.”  Verdigris told him the story between bites.  When he finished, Sparrowhawk whistled softly.  “You should whistle.  Me, I just kinda take it in stride.  I didn’t have much choice.”

“It’s not that, it’s what Celestia did.  I didn’t think she’d do that, from what we’ve heard.”

“She’s not what everypony thinks she is.  There’s a lot going on behind those kind eyes.  I only saw it because I learned how to look.”

“What about Luna?  What’s she like?”

“She’s adjusting to the changes, and learning how to live in the here and now,” Verdigris replied, ignoring the other ponies who were watching and listening; he could understand their curiosity.  “She’s also got to regain her power.  The Elements basically took her back to before the Nightmare appeared.  She’s just now getting control of the night sky; you may have noticed the stars aren’t exactly where they once were.  She had to take the fact ponies use them to navigate by into account.”

Sparrowhawk looked at him in subdued wonder.  “I can’t get over how you talk about them.  I mean, they’re Princesses, and you talk about them like they’re friends or family.”

“They’re very different from what everypony says they are.  They are friends, and Celestia’s my god-mother.  I’ve seen her private side, and her silly side.  All she wants is for every pony to think of her as their friend, not just a Princess.  Luna’s no different,” Verdigris replied as he sipped his coffee after finishing his food.  “Yes, they’re powerful, but they’re still flesh-and-blood mares.  They have feelings, like anypony else.  They have an image to live up to, or at least Celestia does.  I don’t think Luna ever bothered, and I’m not sure that will change a lot.  Like I said, she’s still getting used to everything that’s happened since she was banished.”

“That’s another thing.  Anypony else would be awe-struck, but you – I don’t get it.”

“Celestia told me straight up she doesn’t want to be treated differently when we’re in private.  She wants me to think of her as my god-mother, not the Day Princess.  Luna’s more formal, but she’s not all that different.  She never really had any friends, or anypony who’d take her as she is, instead of worrying about how different she is.”  Verdigris paused to look around at the crowd that had gathered.  “I know how they feel.  I know what I am, but I don’t want to be treated any differently, either.”

“Good luck with that,” Sky Bolt said.  “You’re an Alicorn.”

“Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious,” Verdigris replied with a raised eyebrow.  “Some ponies think it would be fun, but it’s not.  Everypony either likes or hates me, while most just avoid me, back home.  Canterlot’s not much better, as I’ve got the nobility to deal with.  Bunch of stuck-up flank-hats, most of ‘em.  Doesn’t help most are Unicorns, either.  Like that makes them better.  They were born with all the advantages.  They sure didn’t earn them.”

“So how do they react to you?” a black-coated, white-maned Earth pony mare asked.

“They don’t know where I stand, so they try to come up on top.  Hasn’t worked, so far.  I don’t let them push me around, and they don’t like that.”

“So where do you stand?” Sky Bolt asked intently.

“In the queue, like anypony else.”  There were a few chuckles, and  Verdigris continued, “I won’t be part of that nonsense, and I’m not going to talk about it.  I have enough problems fitting in as it is.  I’m not dragging that baggage in.  I don’t think it matters here.”

“It doesn’t,” Blackhawk said as the bus-colt collected the dishes.  “We’re all Hawks.”

Verdigris sat there, thinking, then said, “I’ll need to see the archives, if you’ve got any.  I have to check something.”

“If you’re looking for Stormhawk, you won’t find him,” Sparrowhawk said.  “He was erased.”

“If I was, I know how to find something that’s supposedly gone.  You can’t erase everything.  But I’m not.  I want to check something else.  Somepony mentioned Gyrfalcon, and I’m curious, and I need to check some facts before I send messages anywhere.”

Sky Bolt looked at Blackhawk curiously.  “He’s an Alicorn.  I couldn’t stop him if I wanted to.  We’d have to set conditions everypony can agree to,” he told her.  He turned and looked at Verdigris.  “I’m not worried about you telling where we are.  If you’re like the others, you barely noticed where you were before you got here.  You couldn’t find this place again if you had to.”

“You and Twilight have the most annoying habit of being right, ‘Hawk.”

The Unicorn smiled.  “Think of it as an educated guess.  Nopony finds the Aerie unless they need to.  Only a few stay, either here or in Condorosa.  Most go back to their lives.”  He paused, looking at Verdigris intently.  “I assume you’ll do the same.”

Verdigris nodded.  “I have to.  I’ve got a lot to do before I attend the Academy, and – ” he glanced at his pendants significantly “ – I’m spoken for.  I’m not going to leave anypony hanging.  It’s not fair to them.”

Blackhawk nodded.  “I thought so.  So, what next?”

“Like I said, the Archives.  I still want to check on my ancestry.”

“That fast?” Sky Bolt said.  “Most ponies take a week or two to adjust.”

“I didn’t say I had, and I’m not most ponies,” Verdigris replied.  “I’m just curious.  Gyrfalcon moved to Oceanside nearly two hundred years ago, and I’d like to know who my ancestors were.  Wouldn’t you?”

Sky Bolt had to nod.  He was right.  “It just seems a little sudden, that’s all.”

“Don’t expect much,” Blackhawk cautioned.  “Not every family sends information.”

“Oh, I’m sure it was sent.  Dad was very conscientious.”  Verdigris looked around.  “So, who wants to show me the way?”  After a brief silence, he added, “Don’t everypony speak up at once.”

An ice blue Pegasus mare, whose cutie mark was a book with a quill across it, said, “I’ll go.  You’ll need to see how it’s organized, and that’s me.  Come on.”  Verdigris nodded and followed her out.

When he was out of ear-shot, Sky Bolt asked, “Why didn’t you go?”

“I’ve got to report to Golden Eagle.  She wants to know what I think of him, and probably you, too,” Blackhawk replied.  “Sparrowhawk, as well, because you spoke with him.”

“I have no problem with that, as long as she behaves herself,” the Unicorn replied.  “Just because she was elected Clan Leader doesn’t make her all that special.”  He glanced out the exit.  “I can see her and Verdigris butting heads right away, and I don’t think she’s ready for somepony on his level.”

“What do you mean?” Sky Bolt asked.  “What do you know?”

Blackhawk checked to make sure Verdigris wasn’t able to hear.  “Eaglefeather sent reports, Sky.  You know we always have somepony keeping tabs on all of us.”

“He’s not going to like that, ‘Hawk.”

“Then we need to make sure he doesn’t find out right away.”

“That’s going to be tough,” the black-and-white Earth pony said.  “I can’t say why, but there’s something about him you can’t help liking.”  She paused, then looked at Sky Bolt and smiled.  “Right?”

“Oh, shut up.”

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“Digging in the dirt.  Stay with me, I need support.  I’m digging in the dirt to find the places I got hurt.” – Peter Gabriel, Digging in the Dirt (HIT)

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Verdigris and the Pegasus – who told him her name was Lexicon – walked along side-by-side, making small talk, mostly about Oceanside.  She’d never been further out than Condorosa, and was naturally curious.  Verdigris didn’t mind talking about his home, for once; it was just nice to talk about the Coast and the ponies that lived there in general terms.

“It’s hard to believe you’re really on close terms with the Princesses,” she said after he’d wrapped up a near-lecture.  “There must be something special about you.”

“Probably, but to Celestia every pony is special in some way or other.  She makes sure to get to know most ponies around her, or as far as they’ll go.  She respects their privacy,” Verdigris said.  “I’m her god-son, so that’s one thing, but there’s a lot more.  I told Blackhawk, but I’ll probably be telling a lot of ponies, so you’ll hear it, sooner or later.”  He shook his head.  “I’m still feeling the trip here, and the entrance.  That wasn’t a lot of fun.”

Lexicon nodded.  “It’s not supposed to be.  Coming here is a serious step, even if you just come out of the blue, like you did.  We just end up here when we need to.  I’m not sure there’s a way to explain it.  I can’t.  Can you?”

“No, I can’t.  I took off to get away before I did or said something I’d regret, and that was it.  I felt drawn here, right after Blackhawk contacted me.”

The Librarian – he was sure she was – nodded.  “That’s about what everypony says.  They felt a pull that brought them here.”

“That explains me and a few others, but what about the Earth ponies and Unicorns?”  He stopped, face-hoofed and said, “Oh, right.  Everypony here has mixed parents or ancestors.”

Lexicon nodded with a smug grin.  “Took you long enough.”

“I’ve been here less than a day, and I was serious when I said I wasn’t adjusted – don’t say it,” Verdigris finished with a glare.  She snickered, and he said, “All right, I did that to myself.”

“You’ll go blind.”  Verdigris groaned, and Lexicon continued, “Stop feeding me straight lines.”  She smiled, then said, “Okay, I have to make a confession.  I’m an incorrigible punster.”

“So don’t incorrige you?”  This time the Librarian groaned.  “Serves you right.”  When they stopped at the door, Verdigris said, “Celestia would like you.  She’s got a silly side of her own.  The difference is, she’s a prankster.”

“I’m not sure that’s any better.”  Lexicon flinched when his horn flashed, then looked very surprised to see him wearing a set of black saddlebags.  “H-how?” she asked as he searched through them.

“I learned how to teleport things over distance when I was in Canterlot most recently,” he explained as he lifted his glasses case out with telekinesis.  “At least nothing hit me in the face, this time.  That one hurt.”

“Why?”

“It was the first time, it was my armor, and it’s not light-weight.  I’m not making that mistake again.  I have plenty left, I’m sure.”  Lexicon giggled softly.  “Well, I think I’m ready,” he said, putting his glasses on.

“All right.  Here we are.  Don’t be too awed.”

“Oh, come on.  What could – Oh, my… ”  Verdigris’ voice died as he looked through the arched entrance.  In the sunlight streaming through the skylights he saw shelf upon shelf upon shelf of books.  It rivaled the Canterlot Archives, and he just couldn’t believe it.  “Oh, wow.  I thought – well, you probably heard it before.”  He looked away, blushing.

Lexicon chuckled.  “In some form or other, yes.  We’re not primitive ponies, Verdigris.  This is history that some might have thought lost, but we don’t talk about it.  About a third is nothing but genealogies, going from before the founding of Equestria until the most recent thing to happen, which is your arrival.  The entire Hawk Clan history, start to finish.  We hope the finish isn’t soon, obviously.”

“Same here.  Wow.”

“So, start with genealogies, and go from there?”  Verdigris nodded.  “All right.  This way.”  She led him to another room, which had the familiar musty smell of old, old books and parchments.

Verdigris smiled, closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose, savoring the odor.  “Wow, that takes me back a few years.  It reminds me of when I first saw the Palace Library.”

Lexicon smiled knowingly.  “The scent of knowledge, which leads you to enlightenment.  I love it.”

“So do I, but not as much as the smell of the ocean after being away for a while.  You never get it out of your system.”  He shook himself.  “Well, where do I start?”

“Here.”  Lexicon moved a ladder aside and flew up to remove a large book, which she set carefully on the reading table after landing gently.  “It’s a little delicate, so use telekinesis.  I’m not sure it would stand up to hooves touching it.”

“Why not transcribe it?  That way the original can be kept safe, while the other is the working copy.”

“We’re a little afraid to try.  It’s page after page of names, dates, places and so on, and that’s only the lists.  The family tree is worse.”

Verdigris looked at the tome for a long moment, then the feral smile broke out.  “Challenge accepted.”

The Librarian gave him a look that was a mix of skepticism, wonder and surprise.  “Surely, you can’t be serious.  There’s more than enough here to keep five ponies busy for a week.”

“Yes, I am, and stop calling me Shirley.”  Verdigris smiled at her wide-eyed and dumbfounded expression, then enjoyed the sound of her laughter.  “You want to trade puns, some time?”

“No, not after that,” she replied between chuckles.  “Okay, if you think you’re up to it.  I’ll have to get a blank book, though.  Just a moment.”  Lexicon walked out, giggling fitfully.

“Okay, next order of business,” Verdigris said as he took his lap-top out.  “Hmm, I wonder if they have electricity.  Guess I’ll have to be quick.”  He stopped, grimaced and face-hoofed.  “There are electric lights in my room.  Way to go, dummy.”  He stood and looked around.  A few feet away was a receptacle, which had cable running up into the darkness away from the skylights.  It looked new.  He shrugged.  “Okay, I’ll just move to that table.”

He carefully moved the book, then returned for his computer.  As he moved, he listened to other ponies, some of whom were discussing something; he couldn’t quite hear, and he ignored them.  He carefully opened the book and switched on the reading light.  Verdigris squinted, then relaxed as his eyes adjusted to the light level, and paged-through until he found the entry he was looking for:  Gyrfalcon, who’d moved to Oceanside after fighting the latest in a seemingly endless run of skirmishes with the Griffons.  Yep, the time’s about right, he thought as he lit up his computer and began entering information.  He typed in names, dates and places until he reached what he already knew.  He paged further along, and was surprised to find everything was up to date, including the time he’d spent in Canterlot, as well as his family moving into the palace after Hawk’s death.  Who’re their sources? he wondered.  Eaglefeather?  Who else?

“Ah, I see you found it,” Lexicon said as she and a lemon-yellow Earth pony walked in.  “Good – oh, you’ve got a computer,” she almost purred.  Verdigris chuckled.  “You can laugh all you like.  There aren’t any here.  Nopony can afford them, and nopony but Librarians and Archivists can think of a use for them.  Imagine all this,” – she waved a wing around at the stacks – “on that,” she finished, pointing at the lap-top.

“I think you’d need a higher-end machine for all that, but storage is still catching up,” Verdigris replied.  “I can understand why.  Nopony really knows what they can do, and some ponies aren’t comfortable with something new.  Books, magazines and newspapers haven’t disappeared, and neither has the postal system.  Some prefer holding actual reading material.”

“That makes sense,” the Earth pony commented.  “A power outage – I’ve heard of a few – could lose your investment for you.  Books don’t need electricity.  All you need is a light,” she finished with a slight grin.

“True enough.  And I’m sure you don’t have wireless here,” Verdigris agreed.

“Don’t you two go all geek on me,” Lexicon growled half-seriously.  “You especially, Card File.  I know, we could use one to comprehensively catalog everything, but it’s going to have to wait.  We just don’t have the bits.”  No, but I do, Verdigris thought.  “Anyway, you should be all right.  Here’s the book.”  She set a nearly-identical tome on the table.  “Ink and quills are right here.  Knock yourself out.”

“That’ll hurt, and you know it,” he replied, making her face-hoof.  “Careful what you say; it’ll be taken down, mis-quoted and used against you.”

“Why me?” Lexicon asked the ceiling in a tone of comic long-suffering.

“You volunteered.”  Card File laughed, drawing the ire of – and what seemed to be a chorus of Ssssssshhhhh! from – other ponies in the area.  She finally subsided into soft giggles, and Verdigris added, “Celestia’s not the only pony who knows how to troll.”

I’ll let you get away with only so much, god-son, so be careful.  Besides, what kind of reputation are you looking to make there?  Unless I completely missed something, I thought you wanted to be taken seriously, the Day Princess’ voice said in his mind.

I do, but I don’t want to be taken as a party-pooper.  Pinkie would never forgive me, and I don’t think anypony else would like it.  All work and no play makes for dull ponies, he replied.

He felt her smile.  Fair enough.  When will you be back?  Everypony’s wondering.

Verdigris’ smile faded.  I don’t know.  When I’m calmer, and maybe stabler, but I can’t say how long.  For once, I don’t have any pressures on me to do or be anything, go anywhere or please anypony but myself.  I want to get used to it, then we’ll see.  I can say not within a week.  There’s something about the Aerie that does that, plus, I’ve got some ancestry to look into.  Speaking of, why didn’t you tell me about Stormhawk?  There was no reply, and as the Librarian and Archivist left him alone, he prompted, Celestia?

She sighed.  What would you have done if I told you there was a traitor in your family?  That was the other thing I recognized, but the resemblance to Luna drove it out.  He was loyal to Luna, but not like Hammer and Anvil; his motives were purely selfish.  You didn’t need that dumped on you.  He could feel her shake her head sadly.  I know how you’d have reacted:  “I’m destined to be a traitor, so I’ll just go with it.”  I couldn’t let that happen.

I hate being right, especially when I’m not even trying, Verdigris thought after overcoming his surprise and mild shock.  He sighed, and shook his head.

That’s convenient, almost cliche, he replied after a few moments.  Maybe, maybe I would have, but I doubt it.  Yes, I disobeyed, but I respect and love you too much to ever betray you, mother.  I owe you too much, and if it ever looks like it’s going happen, I’ll leave.  What else can I do?

He felt her smile.  Thank you, but don’t make promises that you can’t be sure you can keep.  Luna and I promised we’d never turn against each other, and you know how that turned out.  Just do what you’ve been doing, taking it day by day.  All right?

Like you said, fair enough.  I’ll let you know what I’m doing, but I’ll have to write.  There’s too much to say to do it this way.  I’ll see you when I see you.

Very well, and I’d like to apologize for how I left Oceanside, son.  I shouldn’t have said “goodbye”, and not so forcefully.  I have to admit you scared me, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

No, that’s my fault, he contradicted.  You had every reason to say and do what you did.  I wasn’t thinking, I was just reacting, and I can’t believe I did that.  I can’t say I feel ashamed, but as I keep saying, I’m not proud of what I did.  It happened, and I’m paying for it.  We’ll see what comes from it when I come back.  Once I leave Oceanside, things should be different.

As you say.  Until we see each other again, take care.  Oh, speaking of that, what Luna told you wasn’t just fancy.  I could tell when she confessed.  It seems sudden, I’m sure, but you don’t know what effect you have on other ponies; I wasn’t even sure myself, until you passed Canterlot the other day.  I won’t say it’s adoration, but you have a draw similar to Michael’s.  It won’t be slavish devotion, but you inspire ponies’ support.  It helps that you’re even-hoofed in your dealings, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry, she told him.  Just take it one day at a time, and you should be fine.  Okay?

Okay.  I’ll see you when I see you.  Sometime again, mother.

Sometime again, son.

Contact faded, and Verdigris took a deep, calming breath.  “Well, this has been a day or two for revelations,” he said to himself.  “Time to start looking, and fixing a few things.”  He smiled ironically.  “Maybe they’ll forgive me.”

(((())))

Canterlot

Celestia walked out of her suite to find Luna waiting for her.  “What is it, Lulu?”

“Hast thou spoken to him, ‘Tia?”  Celestia nodded.  “And?” Luna prompted.

“He’s doing all right, but it’s been less than a day,” the elder Alicorn replied.  “He asked me about Stormhawk, and I couldn’t keep it from him.”

Luna’s face twisted briefly with remembered pain, but she only sighed.  “An it were possible, I would take it all back, ‘Tia.  What he did in my name was inexcusable, and unforgivable.  He deserved to die at Goshawk’s hooves; mayhap he deserved worse, but it is over and done.  There is no way to recall what was said and done.”  She shook her head sadly.  “It is my hope he can avoid that path, or at least be able to walk the line and not fall.  There is so much about Verdigris that reminds me of so many whom you and I lost, and could ill afford.”

Celestia nuzzled her little sister gently.  “I think we have nothing to worry about.  He’s aware of it, and the Aerie’s working its magic on him.  When he returns, he may be a different pony, one we can be proud of more than we are now.   That’s my hope.  He doesn’t deserve the fate that seems to be in his way.  You and I need to help him, but not too much, Lulu.  And he needs to learn to accept that help, and the help of others.  You know what going it alone can do.”

Luna nodded.  “He and I shall speak of it.  Tomorrow.  I believe we have much to discuss, both while he is away, and upon his return, ‘Tia.  I thought I would be, but I am not looking forward to it.”

Celestia gave her a hug.  “I know.  It’s hard, almost impossible to tell what the future will bring, and so I don’t try.  Some things should be left as surprises.”

Luna enjoyed her sister’s comforting embrace.  “Then I will leave sleeping dogs be.  They will rise of their own accord.”

Celestia smiled.  “Come on, let’s skip the Royal Breakfast, and it’ll be just you and I, like it used to be.”  She turned, and Luna fell in beside her, as they had before, long ago.

“Aye, it has been too long.  We shall save our worries for tomorrow.”

(((())))

“The more I look, the more I find.  As I close in on it, I get so blind.”

(((())))

The Aerie

Verdigris worked – if you could call it that – quickly.  As he read, he transcribed the volume, making it readable again.  When the ink faded too much, he changed the light or applied just a touch of magic to bring it up to visibility for a moment.  When he took a break, Card File and Lexicon joined him, comparing his work to the original.

“I can’t believe you could do that,” the Pegasus said.  “We’ve tried to get the ink to show, but it’s never permanent.”

“Neither is what I did.  I did just enough to see it clearly, and let it revert.  If I’m not very sure, I just change the light, a trick I learned in Canterlot.  Some inks show up better under different color light, and changing the angle makes a difference, too.  That’s why I seem to be on a ship at sea,” he explained.  “It’s kinda tiring, but it’s worth it.”  He wondered if he should mention what Celestia told him, but decided to wait until he found that part of the book.  I’ll let them think I found it myself, he thought.  I don’t know where it is, but I think I’ll know when I see it.

“Hmm, we should do that.”  Card File glanced at the computer.  “Does that help?”

“Some.  I can scan the page, and play with the image with the software, and that brings out details you just can’t see.  I’ll do that once I have the basic transcription finished, so I can add what won’t come up any other way.”  Verdigris noticed how the Archivist looked at the device longingly.  “I think I can arrange to have one shipped to Condorosa.  I’m not made of bits, but I can afford it.  You need it.”

Lexicon almost choked on her tea.  “What!” she spluttered.  “You can’t be serious.  It’s not just expensive, we haven’t earned it.”

“We’re family, Lexi.  That’s all I need,” Verdigris replied calmly.  “It’s not as though I can’t afford it, and you need the capability.  I’d guess some documents are faded to the point of illegibility, and most of those haven’t been transcribed.  Imagine it, all that information and history, gone due to neglect,” he said as though lecturing.  Damn it, Twilight, now you’ve got me doing it, he thought.  “I’m sure the ponies who wrote it would turn over in their graves, if they knew or even suspected it had all been for nothing.  If you think I’m bad, you should meet Celestia’s student Twilight Sparkle.  She’s worse.  She loves books, almost to the point that mistreating them is sacrilege.  A lot of the Palace Archives are moldering away.  The only ponies who know what happened are the Princesses, and even they don’t know all that happened.  For all her power, Celestia can’t be everywhere, and neither can Luna.  I’ll tell you something that floored me:  Celestia told me even she and Luna have limits, despite who and what they are.  Most of the stuff we think we know about the Princesses is rumor, or distorted or mistaken facts.  I wouldn’t be surprised to learn some was just made up to make everypony look at them in awe.  A thousand bits says it was the nobility, looking to make themselves look good.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all.  They do it now, why couldn’t they do it back then?”

“B-but – that’s scandalous!” Card File said, aghast.  “It’s lies, and they’re making it into the truth.”

“Just like a thousand years ago, right?”  The mares stared at Verdigris as though he’d told them the Princesses were whorses.  “Uh-huh.  Like I said, you need it.  Part of who we are is what happened long before we were born.  It shaped our ancestors, and it shaped us through them.  It’s that important, ‘cause if you don’t know where you’ve been, you don’t know where you are, and you can’t guess where you’re going.  You can’t find your way back, either, ‘cause you don’t know where you took that wrong turn.  Of all the ponies here, you two should understand that.”  He sat there, watching as they shivered while looking around the Archives.  “So you think you haven’t earned it.  That’s irrelevant.  You need it, I can get it, and that’s all there is to it.”

Lexicon looked at him gratefully.  “Thank you, Verdigris.”

“Don’t thank me yet.  I have to find out if I can have one shipped here.”

Card File sighed.  “I hope you can.  It’s frustrating when you can’t find something for somepony, and there’s nothing you can do about it, because the records are that deteriorated.  The disappointment on their faces can be heart-breaking.”

“That’s another reason.  Information isn’t something to hoard, like bits, gems or whatever.  It’s valuable for more important reasons, and I’m not talking boundaries or inheritance.  The truth is why.  Maybe it’s not pleasant, or not what you wanted to hear, but it can not only set you free, it can save your life,” he added after munching on a cookie from the plate Lexicon brought.  “I had Trotmund-Hoofson as a foal, and Celestia knew what it could do, and she could fix it.  So she did.  She saved my life.  I can’t thank her enough, and that’s the truth.”

The mares flinched; Trot-Hoof was something everypony in the Aerie worried about.  “How old were you?” Card asked reluctantly.

“A little over three months.”  They stared at him, dumbfounded.  “Hey, at least I wouldn’t have noticed, or so I keep telling myself.  If I’d been older, that would have been different.  I’d have known I had more time to live.  She told me I wouldn’t have made it through the night, so you can make a few guesses.”

“That’s horrible,” Lexicon murmured softly.

“It’s history, and it won’t happen to us again.  Celestia fixed the problem, and dad’s dead.”  He paused and looked at the floor.  “But that’s a story for another day, unless Blackhawk told somepony else.  I’ve got work to do.”

“Keep up this pace and you’ll finish the whole history section in three weeks.  Maybe,” Card replied.  “I’ve never seen anypony who could read that fast.”

“Speed-reading’s not hard.  Anypony can learn it.  You’ve got to train yourself, is all.”  He smiled.  “I used to annoy the teachers back home by finishing entire sections in a week, until I learned to give them only what they had on the schedule.”

“Quick study,” Lexi commented.

“I didn’t have the distractions, either.  I studied at home because the other foals’ parents were worried that I was contagious, and later because I reminded somepony or other what could happen.  I didn’t like it, but I can’t blame them.”  Their gazes made him add, “Why?  I was too strange, too different.  It freaked them out.”

“That’s just wrong,” Card File scathed.  “What’s their problem?”

“Oh, if I had a bit for every time I had to explain,” Verdigris said.  “Oceanside’s one of those towns that doesn’t change much, if at all, and only if absolutely necessary.  Strange, new and different doesn’t fly there.  Traditional almost to the point of stagnation.  ‘Was good enough fer daddy an’ his daddy, an’ it’s good enough fer me’,” he sneered in the Oceanside tone and dialect.  “Trust me, you wouldn’t like it.  Nopony’s supposed to try to do better, or leave town.  They barely teach anything at that school.

“Worse, there’s a ‘mares don’t matter’ attitude there.  I don’t know when it started, but somehow the idea that all mares are good for is taking care of a house and foals became town policy.  Needless to say, mom didn’t appreciate it.  Celestia sure doesn’t, and let everypony know her opinion of that noise one day.”  He paused for a sip of tea, and continued, “However, things are changing.  The old guard are out, and new things are happening.”  He looked away, blushing.  “It’s partly my fault, if not completely.  I took the bullies apart, challenged the authorities and refused to live by the Council’s rules.  They didn’t want me, and wouldn’t deal with me, so I ignored them and lived my life my way.  They hated that,” he finished, never once raising his voice.

“I’d hope so,” Lexicon snapped, drawing another round of Sshhhh!  “That’s wrong on so many levels.  It wasn’t your fault.”

Verdigris nodded.  “I know that, and you’re right.  Since when did the facts matter to bigots?  Mom’s from Canterlot, and they wouldn’t speak to her for six weeks, and they gave dad a load of horse apples for marrying somepony from anywhere else.”  He smiled grimly.  “They either forgot or never knew we Hawks follow our own rules, and live our own way, not theirs.  They got a rude awakening, that’s for sure.”

Lexicon shook her head sadly.  “It’s too bad you won’t be there anymore.  You could do a lot of good.”

“No, Oceanside’s part of my problem.  I still resent what happened, even though I’ve tried to stop it.  I just can’t let it go, so I’m going to leave.  I don’t know if I can ever go back without those old feelings coming back.  Besides, I’ve got plans that don’t figure in staying.  I’m going to attend the Academy and Canterlot University, and I’m going to join the Guards.  The Night Guards, specifically.”

“What?” Lexicon almost squeaked.  She couldn’t have looked more shocked if he’d said Nightmare Moon was standing behind her, looking her over and trying to decide where to take the first bite.  “But – ”  She bit off the rest.

“Go on, finish that, please,” Verdigris said evenly.  “Something about Stormhawk, maybe?”

The Librarian shook her head with a determined expression.  “No.  Never.  If you look hard enough, you’ll find it.  That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.”

“That’s fine.  I thought only the Clan leaders would know, but I should have guessed you did.  I’ll bet Blackhawk does.”  Lexicon’s expression didn’t change.  “I’m a lot smarter than I look.  I just don’t feel a need to show off.  Oh, I may monologue, rant and sometimes beat it into the ground, but I prefer to keep it under wraps.  Being underestimated is sometimes a good thing; you get a reputation as a miracle worker.”  He paused to think.  “It can back-fire on you, of course.”

“All right, but you’re going to have to find that information on your own.  It’s not something we like to think about, never mind discuss.”

“That’s fine, Lexi.  If it’s there, I’ll find it, and I’ll deal with it.”

“That’s good enough for me, Verdi,” Card said.  “Calling you that isn’t a problem, I hope.”

“Nah, that just makes you number five,” he replied with a grin.  “My brother and sister, Twilight and Pinkie Pie call me that.  It’s no big deal.”

“I was wondering how you’d react,” Lexicon said.  “I kinda like the shortened version.  I feel like a friend.”

“You are.  You just didn’t notice.  Ah, well, this won’t get done by itself.  Somepony let me know when it’s supper time, okay?  I want to get this done as soon as I can.  I’ve got other things to do, I’m sure.”

“Okay.  I’ll come get you.  See you then,” Card said as the pair trotted out.

Verdigris smiled as they left, then returned to his work.  So, somepony knows.  I wonder what else they didn’t tell me.  And why.

(((())))

When it was about lunch time, Verdigris set the quill aside and stretched with a muffled groan.  He’d been crouched over the book for hours, and he was stiff.  “Oh, well, that’s not so bad.  Let’s see...” he trailed off as he checked his progress.  He was about three-quarters of the way through the work, and the hardest part remained:  He’d found the fold-out Clan family tree, and it was huge, about ten feet on a side, covered in fine quill work.  There was a scratched-out area he’d assumed was Stormhawk and his descendants.  There was a lot of information there, and he fumed.  Whose idea was it to do that? he wondered angrily.  Not everypony’s afraid of the truth.  Unpleasant or not, we have the right to know, and like I told Card and Lexi, they affect those who came after.  He’d noticed Gyrfalcon seemed to pop up from nowhere, which was telling.  Why, Blackhawk?  Goshawk fixed it, so why scratch it off?  Do you and whoever else think we’d really want to follow in his hoof-steps?  Thanks for thinking so highly of us, he groused silently.

He stood up, packed his work into his saddlebags and put them on.  He didn’t quite trust everypony, and had the nagging feeling somepony would go to great lengths to keep the information secret, if Lexi and Card’s reactions meant anything.  He walked out after turning off the light and closing the book, following the others as they made their way to the commissary; the room’s arrangement made him think in military terms, as did the general atmosphere.  It wasn’t just a home away from home, it was a garrison, going by the feel of the place.

He arrived to find Sky Bolt, Sparrowhawk, Lexicon and Card File sitting together, and noticed how they suddenly stopped talking when he arrived.  He scowled slightly as he walked by.  “I’d say everypony knows more than they’re saying,” he remarked softly as he passed them.  Lexi and Card flinched, while Sky and Sparrow stared at him.

Blackhawk sat with several older mares and stallions at another table, and he simply walked by without a glance.  He was sure they’d introduce themselves; the straw-yellow Pegasus’ gaze nearly shouted it as she watched him pass by.  Buck it, and them.  I’m not going to be anypony or do anything but what I want.  If I’m his descendant – and Celestia said I am – then I’ll go my own way.  As he passed through the serving line, he glanced at the Librarian and Archivist as they talked quietly.  I wonder if they told anypony.  I’ll find out soon enough.

After collecting his food, Verdigris found an empty table and sat down.  He tried the meat, and decided it was tolerable, and enjoyed the fish.  After a few minutes, he felt the disturbed air caused by approaching ponies, and the hoof-steps came from the direction he’d seen Blackhawk and the others.  “Good day, ‘Hawk,” he said as they stopped.  “Who’s with you?” he finished with a disinterested tone.

The Unicorn and Pegasus sat across from him; the stallion seemed ill-at-ease, while the mare looked at him appraisingly.  “This is Golden Eagle, the Clan Leader.  Show some respect, okay?”

Verdigris looked at her steadily, noting the scars.  Yep, military.  You don’t get those scars from falls, he thought, noting how they matched Guard combat strike patterns.  “You earn respect, just like bits, ‘Hawk.  Anypony who says ‘gimme’ doesn’t get any.  If that bothers you, then too bad.  I’m not necessarily here for you,” he said as his eyes met Golden’s.

She didn’t react, other than to nod once.  “That works both ways,” she replied.  Her voice was soft and mellow, but there was steel behind it.  “So, whom do you serve?”

“You know the answer to that, better than I do.  Just out of curiosity, did you really think I wouldn’t find out?  A lot of times I’m right before I know it,” Verdigris said as he looked at Blackhawk.  “Like I said, the way things have been, I wouldn’t be all that surprised.  It explains a lot.”

“Well, like Lexicon said, you’ll have to find it on your own,” the Pegasus replied crisply.  “However, you’re going to keep it to yourself.  Nopony outside the Aerie – ”

“That’s not up to you,” Blackhawk interrupted.  “And have you forgotten Luna is a Hawk?  If she asks, we’re obligated.”

“No.  I won’t have our honor besmirched.”

“It’s a little late for that,” Verdigris told her.  “I’ve talked to Celestia, and she told me the truth.  I know it’s in there, and I’m going to include it.  You can’t pick and choose the truth, and I won’t let you.  You have no right to keep any Hawk in the dark about our history, and it’ll come back and bite you in the flank when the truth comes out.  Even if they don’t believe it, they’ll be inclined to doubt you, and you can’t afford that.  The Clan would fall apart.”

Golden Eagle blinked in surprise.  He was a lot smarter than he appeared, even for an Alicorn.  “All right, all cards on the table.  I don’t believe knowing that would help, and it would only cause harm.  We don’t need that.”  She looked him square in the eyes.  “Surely you can understand that.”

“Oh, I understand it all right.  It’s a load of horse apples, and you know it.  Everypony knows Luna was the Nightmare, but they haven’t been storming the palace, demanding her head.  They’re getting used to having the original Diarchy again, and the scaredy-foals have taken a wait-and-see approach.  I know what she’s like, before and after.”  He nodded decisively, then added, “And stop calling me Shirley.”

Blackhawk gaped while Golden Eagle scowled.  “You’re kidding, right?  Such grim faces.  Why so serious?” he asked.  Something about his words made them shiver.  “I’ll tell you why.  Somepony who once had your spot decided they had to be grim and scary to be taken seriously.  And you know what?  It worked.  So they kept doing it without realizing the problem is, it doesn’t work all the time.  But the pattern was set, and everypony either agreed or just fell in line because it was easier, and old bad-flank on the chair would take the heat because it was his job.  A leader’s always a big, bad, scary pony, right?”  He paused, giving them the feral grin.  “But it doesn’t work in enlightened times, does it?  Hmm?  When things are going well, ponies don’t want to hear about sacrifice and duty and responsibility every hour of every day.  It turns into background noise, and they ignore it.

“Then, then along comes a real bad-flank who decides an enemy needs to be invented, to justify the act that became the status quo.  ‘Who am I going to blame?  Griffins?  Zebras?   Deer?  Camels?  Gotta have an enemy, or I’m out of a job.’  That’s the kind of thinking that gets us in trouble.  You know it, I know it and you can bet your flank the Princesses do.”  Verdigris finished his food and sipped his tea, his eyes glowing slightly.  “And you can be sure I’ll serve the ones who are really serving Equestria:  Celestia and Luna.  I won’t choose one over the other.  They’re both properly in charge, after a long period of imbalance.  If you think I’ll choose the Clan over them, you’d better re-think that one.  I’m a Hawk; I make up my own mind, live my own life, and do both my way.”  He leaned across the table.  “Got that, boss-mare?”

“You may find yourself regretting that attitude,” Golden said in a soft growl.

“What’re you going to do, beat me up and take my lunch money?  Puh-lease.  Send me packing?  Isn’t that how Stormhawk got his start?  Come on, make some original mistakes, instead of repeating somepony else’s.”  Verdigris surprised them by laughing softly.  “Ya see, this is why I do what I do.  I challenge the status quo, I ask questions, I don’t leave things alone, and I don’t take crap from anypony.  I don’t knuckle under, as a lot of ponies know first-hoof.  I don’t take anypony’s word, unless I trust them, and that’s a very short list.  Sooner or later, you have to take responsibility for yourself, ‘cause nopony can do it for you.  So why are you playing this game?  Because it’s expected of you?  What a disappointing excuse.  I think you don’t know anything else, and you’re scared to try something different.”  He waved a hoof at the ponies surrounding them.  “They’re smarter than you think, and aren’t scared of change.  It’s simple:  Adapt or die.”

Verdigris finished his tea, stood and said, “Now that I’ve given you some things to think about, I’ll go back to work.  Oh, yeah, don’t think for a second I’m not going to send copies to Canterlot.  Don’t give me the ‘It’s clan business only’ crap.  It’s part of Equestria’s history, and everypony has a right to know.  Even if it’s an inconvenient truth, it’s still important.  Equestria has had its bad times, and if we forget that, we don’t appreciate the good times.  That’s now you get unrest when things get tough.”  He nodded at them.  “Excuse me.”

“No, sit back down.”

“Blow it out your flank.  Only two ponies – for the moment – can expect me to obey their orders, and not even then, sometimes.  I serve Equestria means sometimes you have to rebel.  For all we know, Stormhawk might have had good motives for doing what he did, at least at first.  That doesn’t change anything.  I’m not your good little obedient soldier.”  He smiled nastily.  “I ain’t little, I think for myself, and like I said, only the Princesses can give me orders I’ll follow.  I don’t know you, so I don’t trust you.  Not completely.  You’ve got to show me you’re worthy of my respect, because when I do, it’s all or nothing.  There’s no middle-of-the-road.  That kind of loyalty and respect you can’t buy or demand, so you have to earn it.  Case closed.”  He nodded and walked away.

“Well, I think he made his point very clear,” Blackhawk said sardonically after recovering from the tirade.  “You can’t say he wasn’t blunt and to the point.”

Golden smiled sourly.  “And I always tell everypony I want them to speak their minds.  Speaking of getting bitten in the flank.”

“It could be worse.  He could have reacted the way he did before coming here.  I checked with my new Oceanside source, and it was bad, Eagle.  The one stallion is going to be crippled for life, and the Pegasus he fried is going to make ponies cringe for the rest of his life.  That was defending a friend; I’d hate to see what he does to anypony who hurts somepony he loves.  Word about him finally got here from Stalliongrad, and I’m surprised he let Bronyiev live – well, I was until I heard about the files he kept.”  He glanced after Verdigris as he nodded to Lexicon and Card File as he left.  “He’s not as bad as you think he is, Eagle.  If he was, there’d be a trail of bodies behind him.  He could help us a lot if we just let him alone.”

“I can’t be that sure, ‘Hawk.  Not yet.  Every new pony brings problems as well as benefits, and I have to look out for everypony here and in Condorosa.  I can’t take anything at face value or for granted.  He could be everything you say he is, but I have to be sure.  You’d do the same, and you know it.”

“Don’t bet on it.  I don’t feel a need to keep them under surveillance all the time; it says you don’t trust them.  That’s why I run the Entrance the way I do.  I let them work it out themselves, instead of the fit-them-into-the-same-mold method you’d use.  That’s the kind of thing he was talking about with the Unicorns in Canterlot.  The same with the ponies in Oceanside.  He doesn’t see any reason to do the same thing the same way just for its own sake.  Tradition is okay, but it has to adjust with the times, Eagle.  That’s what he’s saying, nothing more.”

“You’ve got him figured out, just like that?”

“No, but I’ve got a good idea,” Blackhawk said.  “That’s good enough for now.  The rest can wait.”

Golden Eagle looked at him for a long moment, then nodded.  “I hope you’re right.  We can agree he’s dangerous, but we don’t know how, yet.  Fair enough?”  He nodded.  “All right.  I’ll defer to your judgment, but I still make the final decision, and for that I need information.  It’s only prudent.”

Blackhawk nodded.  “All right, but I still think you’re worrying for no reason.  I’ll keep silent for now.”

(((())))

Verdigris’ Point of View

I returned to the Archives and continued after setting everything up again.  I wanted to trust the ponies at the Aerie, but I couldn’t, really.  Golden’s mein made me a little nervous, as I couldn’t really get much off her, other than the military aspect.  Blackhawk?  Well, he was one of her advisers, so that put him into the set I had to be careful around.  Sky Bolt reminded me of Dash a little, but there was something about her I couldn’t figure out yet.  Lexi and Card I could trust, as they valued the information they had in their custody.  Sparrowhawk was an open question, but I felt I could trust him a little.  I shrugged.  Everything would work out as it would.  Nothing and nopony could change that, and I still had ponies to meet.

I resumed the transcription, checking everything as I went in different light, using the intensification spell to bring up the remaining ink, and checking different angles to see the faint impressions and scratches left by the quills.  It was time-consuming, but it worked.  I didn’t want to resort to a complete restoration spell until I had it all done.  One mistake with that spell would destroy the book, if I was unlucky.  Even just muddling it would make the book useless, and I agree with Twilight about old books.  I also took notes on my computer, as I thought what I was doing would help save the oldest volumes in the Canterlot Archives.  That could be critical, if there was something useful in there.  Obsessed?  Maybe.  Since it affected me personally, in this case, I think I had a good reason.  I didn’t just want to know, I had to know, if only for my own peace of mind.  Not knowing something could kill you, depending on the situation.

I finished the main book, and then went back to the expunged portions to get the really detailed work done.  I used everything I had before on the pages in question, line by line, and about two hours later I had it all.  In black and white was what Celestia had told me:  Stormhawk was my ancestor.  He’d sired two mares and three stallions, all of whom had turned against him once they understood what he was really up to, and that hadn’t helped them one bit.  Once a traitor – or related to a traitor – always a traitor, it looked like.  It wasn’t fair, just like what had happened to Hammer and Anvil.  They’d believed, but they’d been betrayed, and nopony could accept them back into the herd.  There was always the worry about their loyalty, even after they’d surrendered.  Did that bother me?  Yes, but not very much.  I may be Stormhawk’s direct descendant, but that didn’t make me just like him.  At least I knew the truth, and I could live with it.

The “fun” part was the family tree.  Not only for its size, but how extensive the erasure had been.  There were large blank areas where ponies seemed to appear from nowhere.  I stopped and went to the storage cabinet to find enough parchments to piece together, then merge into one ten-by-ten sheet.  Then the real fun began.  I had the parchments pressed together on a large sheet of glass so I could see the writing below through the top sheet, stood it up in a large frame near the light and began tracing what I could see.  I couldn’t hover normally; flapping isn’t very steady and could damage the parchments, so I had to use an alternate form of my “cruising”.  Instead of the rear edges of my wings glowing, the undersides did.  It was draining.  I had to stop every fifteen to twenty minutes to rest; using magic to bring the ink up made me tired quicker, but I kept on.  I take pride in my work, so I make sure it’s done right.  Obsessive-compulsive?  Maybe, a little.  I take advantage of it to stay focused.

Half-way through, Card trotted in to tell me it was supper time, and she gasped softly.  I finished the entry I was working on and returned to the floor, then looked to see her staring at the sheets almost reverently.  “Like it?” I asked.

“Wow,” she breathed.  “That’s amazing, Verdi.  I was off some.”

“It’ll still take a while to get the rest of that section,” I replied as I put away my equipment, then slung the bags across my back.  “Ugh, well, I need to take a long break, and I’m starving.  Shall we?”  She nodded, then turned and led the way out.

“Golden Eagle doesn’t like you much,” she told me on the way out.  “She doesn’t like being disobeyed.”

“I know why.  She’s Goshawk’s descendant, and that can’t be fun.”  I grunted a laugh.  “I guess she doesn’t see the situation the way I do.  It’s ironic that we’re disagreeing, and not too different from back then.”

“I know it won’t help, but I’m sorry.  That must weigh on you.”

“No, not really.  I’m not Stormhawk, I just resemble him.  There’s no way I’ll turn on the Clan or the Princesses.  That’s one heck of a thing to do, no matter how long anypony’s been here,” I told her firmly.  “Of course, she’s got the leadership disease, but I can deal with that.  I’ll go only so far, and I’ll make sure she knows where I draw the line.  She’ll know where we both stand.”

She nodded, and we continued to the commissary in silence.  She nodded to various ponies we passed, sometimes sharing a meaningful look, as though she was telling them something.  I wondered, but I let it go.  I was still the newbie here.

That reminded me of something, and I asked softly, “How’s Eaglefeather doing?  I know she had to hear about my arrival.  You can’t keep secrets in a place like this, can you?” I asked sardonically.

Card glanced at me sheepishly, then said, “She might not have.  She’s been withdrawn.  All we can get from her is brief comments about her son, Hawkfeather and her husband.  Nothing specific.”  She thought a moment as we entered the space, which was about half-filled; it looked like everypony was here, but I didn’t see my aunt.  “She hasn’t been eating much, either.”

“She’s still in mourning,” I said.  I thought there was more to it, though.  What Full Sail did must have been the worst, considering everything else followed from it.  “If I thought it would help, I’d go talk to her, but I think she blames me.  I’m the one who figured out what Sail was doing, and the Rus came to make my life miserable.”  She looked at me questioningly, and I said, “They prefer to kill the trouble-maker last, after everypony he cares about is gone, Card.”  I let my voice harden.  “They’re either stupid or they think they can beat anypony.  They’re not going to win this fight, ‘cause they’re going after the wrong pony.  I don’t back down, and I’m probably too strong for my own good.  I think I can do anything, and sometimes that’s bitten me in the flank.  It’s gotten me in trouble with Celestia already.  But, as a friend once told me, in the end, family is all you have.  What good are you if you can’t save your family?”

She shivered, and I didn’t blame her.  I think the Aerie leadership encouraged everypony to forget the outside world, and that’s not always a good thing.  I’ve read a few books Uncle Mike gave me, and that plot point figured into a lot of bad happenings that came after the protagonist left his retreat:  Things kept happening in the outside world that he couldn’t know about, and he wasn’t prepared.  I was going to try to avoid that if I could, by keeping in touch with ponies I could trust.  I hoped I wouldn’t be completely blind-sided.

We passed through the serving line, and I had to deal with the meat again.  It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t as good as fish, and I missed a few things from home.  I guess seaweed didn’t make the trip well, or they just didn’t know about it here.  I noticed some staples seemed to be missing, too, and I had to wonder about that.  I’d ask when I wasn’t busy with something else.

Lexi joined us, bringing Sky Bolt with her.  “Mind some company?” she asked.

“It’s a semi-free country, or so I’ve been told,” I replied noncommittally.  She hesitated, then shrugged and sat down.  Sky looked at me for a moment, then joined us.  “Okay, you’ve had time to talk.  What’s the problem?”

“Nothing, or at least nothing at the moment,” the Librarian answered a little too quickly.

“Try again, Lexi.  I’m sure you’ve been asked what you think of me.  I’d do the same in Golden’s position,” I said.  “If not Golden, then Blackhawk.  Nopony knows much about me, so they’re a little stand-offish.  If somepony thinks it’ll bother me, they’re wrong.  I was isolated in Oceanside for most of my life, and I got used to it, almost to the point where I preferred to be alone.  Almost.”  I gave them all a glance.  “If you think you’re clannish here, you’ve got a long way to go.  Coast ponies can be worse.  I’m sure that made the rounds.”

Sky Bolt surprised me by nodding.  “It’s hard to believe that could happen.  Someplace else, that is.  After the mess with Stormhawk, we withdrew from the rest of Equestria.  It was easier that way.  Everypony was recovering from the Nightmare, and we weren’t involved with the Lunar Rebellion a century later.  You’d be surprised to hear a few ponies from that mess came here.”

“Not really.  I’ve seen a few Kickers, and I recognize them the same way they recognize us.  We all have distinctive characteristics.  And I was floored when I found the painting of Shadow Kicker, ‘cause Cloud Kicker looks a lot like her.  I had to look twice to be sure,” I replied.  “I’ve noticed a few Apples, some Dos and a couple of Dashes here.  Not much else I recognize, and I’m not going to make anything of it.  Like I’ve been told, the Aerie calls ponies who need to be here.  What I like is how everypony gets along.  None of the nonsense I ran into in Canterlot, for example.  Any pony’s as good as anypony else.  Trust me, it’s refreshing.”

Lexi nodded as Card said, “Is it as bad as we’ve heard?  Unicorns think they’re the best thing since, well, whatever?”

“Yeah, and they’re the nobles.  The worst are a bunch of flank-hats who think they’re so special they can walk on water.”  I smiled grimly.  “I don’t think even Celestia can do that, so who the buck are they to talk?  I’ve already butted heads with a few, and they’re not that different from the flank-holes who made Oceanside less than pleasant.  It’s never the places; it’s always the ponies.”

Lexi was about to say something when the room suddenly went silent, like flicking a switch.  I looked around and saw Eaglefeather plodding in.  She looked terrible.  She was thin, her ivory coat was dull, her sienna mane unkempt and her hooves weren’t trimmed.  But the worst were her eyes, which were sunken and almost lifeless.  I thought she didn’t know where she was until she stopped and looked at me, and they blazed with a mix of hate and despair.  She looked at me for a long thirty seconds, then the light went out, and she continued to the serving line.  She looked broken, but there was still something of her spirit there.

I got up and murmured, “Stay here.  This is my problem.”  I stood there, watching as she collected what appeared to be barely enough food to keep her alive, then moved near the end of the line.  Blackhawk stood in my way, but I looked at him steadily, letting my eyes glow slightly.  He stepped back and away, nodding as though he understood.  If Golden was watching, let her get a good look at how I can be, and to Tarterus with the consequences.

I continued and intercepted Eaglefeather as she was about to move to the exit.  She glared at me.  “What do you want?” she rasped.

“You’re going back and getting enough food to feed a grown pony, Eaglefeather.  Sail may not have given a damn, but I think Sky would start crying if he saw you.  I know Hawkfeather would take you to task.  Since he’s not here any more, it’s up to me,” I told her in no uncertain terms.  “And you’re a Hawk; we don’t slowly starve ourselves to death.”

She dropped her tray, stepped right up to me and screamed in my face, “What do you know about it, foal!  You’re the reason they’re dead!  If you had just minded your own business – ”

“That’s enough!” I barked.  “If you want to lay blame, let’s take this to Canterlot and let Celestia hear it.  I want to see if you can do this to her, ‘cause it’s easy to scream at an unthinking, irresponsible foal.”  She stopped in confusion.  I didn’t need to know what she was thinking; I could see it in her face, and I’d heard that argument used by screaming, scolding nags a few times before.  “That’s better.  Now listen to me.  If you think I’m not sorry it happened, you’re dumber than Sail used to say you were.  I miss dad a lot.  A day doesn’t go by that I don’t wish he was here, and Sky didn’t deserve to die.  I’ll never stop wishing the Rus had come after me that night, instead of them.

“I know there’s no way to make it go away, but you’re not helping yourself by reminding yourself of it.  I have no respect for anypony who wallows in self-pity, the same as Uncle Blackwolf.  What're you trying to do, anyway?  Guilt-trips don’t work on me; they never have.  What am I supposed to do, trade places?”

She stood there, shaking.  It wasn’t shame or grief, it was fatigue.  I don’t think she had enough energy for more, after screaming at me.  She was used up, or close to it, and I wasn’t going to let it happen.  I stood over her and said, “You may be my dad’s sister, but since I had to take his place, you’ll do what I say.  You’re going back and getting a real meal.  You’re going to eat like your life depends on it, because it does.  Yes, I dropped the ball in Oceanside.  It’s not going to happen here, Eaglefeather.  As Celestia’s my witness, you’re not going to die on my watch.  I will not let it happen.  I forbid it,” I hissed.

She backed away in fear-laced surprise, and I understood a few seconds later when I realized I was taller.  I’d blossomed, but this time I was black with the white traces.  I wasn’t Verdigris, I was Stormhawk, and you know what?  I didn’t care.  Damn it, she was family; she was as much a victim as mom or Freewind and there was no way I was going to let her down again.  If I had to knock sense into her head, I would, and I’d hate every second of it.  “Now go get some food, Eaglefeather, then come with me.  I’m going to watch you eat, and you’re not going to give me any wind-drift, understood?”  She nodded.  “Good.  Now follow your orders.”  She trotted obediently away, and seemed almost relieved.  Maybe having nopony and nothing took away her sense of purpose.  If so, I was going to give her one, even if it meant playing tyrant.  I was sure Celestia would do the same.  What was I thinking, I knew she had.  In my direction, more than once, when I needed it.

The silence rang, and I looked around.  Lexi, Card and Sky Bolt stared at me, their mouths hanging open.  Blackhawk, Golden, Sparrow and several other ponies looked at me with no expression, while the rest took furtive glances and tried not to meet my eyes.  I was royally pissed, literally and figuratively.  If I’m a Prince, I’m going to make the most of it, I thought.  Starting with Eaglefeather.

It’s about time, Celestia’s voice said.  I know you’re not happy with the idea, but you’re going to be running Equestria some day.  No, we won’t be stepping down, but you’ll eventually take your place with Luna and I, and sometimes you have to put your hoof down, Verdigris.  Ponies need freedom, but they also need leadership, and the trickiest part is knowing how far to go.  You’re doing fine, in case you wondered, and it’s time you took initiative.  Just keep your goals firmly in mind, she reminded me.  For now, take charge of your aunt and take care of her.  You and I will discuss anything beyond that when you return to Canterlot.  Fair enough?

“Do I really have a choice?” I murmured to myself as I watched Eaglefeather pass through the line again.

No, you don’t.  As you’re responsible for your family after Hawkfeather died, so I am responsible for every pony in Equestria.  It’s a noble’s obligation, and I don’t mean the trite nonsense that the Silvers or Trumpet Vine play at.  The truly noble put themselves at the service of the populace, for their and their nations’ good.  Like me, you have to learn by doing.  All you have to do is consider your actions, whether they’re right or not.  The rest will follow.  I’ll talk to you later, and I’m expecting a letter or two.  This may be a retreat, but your troubles won’t wait, and you have to come back, eventually.  If you’re the pony I know you are, you’ll come through this with greater understanding.  Now take care of her.

I sighed, and led Eaglefeather to the table when she returned.  She sat down and ate, glancing at me every now and then.  I’d just nod at her tray, as though saying, You’re not done.

Silence reigned for the next several minutes, until I concentrated on my coloring.  When it changed back, there was a long susuration from several ponies letting go of their breath all at once.  I had to smile at that, though it wasn’t funny.  I’d just given them all a lot to think and talk about, and I wasn’t sure it was going to be good.  There was also no way to fix or change it.  Like it or not, they knew what I was, even if it wasn’t everything.  I was going to have to deal with it.

“Verdi?”  I looked at Card, who stared at me with wide-eyed worry.

“It’s okay,” I replied.  “It only happens when I’m upset.”  I looked at Eaglefeather, who was concentrating on her food.  “Don’t ever do that again, ‘Feather.  Your life isn’t over.  As soon as I think you’re ready, you’re going to Canterlot to be with mom and Honey Bunch.”  She looked at me in angry surprise, and I added, “It’s not open for debate.  Dad would have been in charge when Windhover stepped down; I’m taking his place.  It’s for your own good.  You need family near you.  End of story.”

She nodded.  “I’m sorry,” she murmured.  “It’s like a horrible dream, but I can’t wake up.”

“I know.  Mom’s the same way.  You both lost ponies close to you, and it’s not going away soon.  Like it or not, you’re going to listen to me, and do what I tell you.  You need to heal, and you’ll do a lot better with family.  Got it?”  She nodded, and I sighed to myself.  “All right.  Until then, I’m responsible for you, just like I was responsible for them.”  She flinched violently.  “They used you to get to me, and I’m sorry.  I wish there was some way to take it all back, but there isn’t.  All I can do is make sure it doesn’t happen again, and I will.  You being in Canterlot is a step in that direction.”  I nodded at her plate, which was nearly empty.  “Go back for seconds.  Not an option.”

A throat clearing brought my head around to see Golden standing a few feet away, looking at me as though I’d stepped on her hooves.  “If you’ve got a problem, take a number and get in line.  This is a family matter, and I’m not deferring to you or anypony.  If you’ve got a problem with my looks earlier, get over it.  Better yet, think of it as a warning to get clear, ‘cause when I look like that, there’s gonna be some hurt going to somepony.”

She shook her head and said, “No, I was wondering what caused it.”

“Uh, gee, I don’t know.  Maybe because I’m an Alicorn, and I got struck by lightning when I was ten?  Plus what the Nightmare had going for three years.  Look, you can’t play ignorant, Golden.  I’ve seen the records, and I wondered who your sources are.  They’re good, I’ll give ‘em that.”  She had the presence of mind to look embarrassed, but I could tell it was a sham.  “I don’t care who they are, as long as they stay out of my way.  That applies to you, as well.  I want Eaglefeather moved to a room near mine, so I can keep an eye on her.  Adjoining rooms, if possible.”  She opened her mouth to protest, and I continued, “This is a family matter, and I don’t care what you want.  You can play Princess here all you like, but I draw the line when it comes to the Oceanside ponies.  She’s my blood, and I will not put that aside.”  I stood up and looked her straight in the eye.  “And since I’m Stormhawk’s direct descendant, you may find I’m just as headstrong, unyielding and unpleasant as he was.  Are you ready for that?”

She stopped and stared at me.  “No, but don’t think I’ll let you get away with murder.”

“Bad choice of words,” I replied with a nasty smile.  “I haven’t tried, yet.”  I’d let her wonder if I was serious.

“All right.  I’ll grant your request, but you’re still going to acknowledge me as Clan Leader, and you know what that means,” she said with a touch of haughtiness.

“Yes, sir.  Three bags full, sir.”  Golden nodded and walked away, completely missing the insult.  I shrugged.  If she was clueless, that wasn’t my problem.  Being isolated, as I knew from living it, sometimes leaves you out of touch, and I wondered when somepony would clue her in.  I smiled slightly, thinking of her reaction when that happened.

I turned back and sat down, nodding at Eaglefeather’s plate as she watched me.  “Eat.”

“She’s not going to let you get away with that,” Lexi said after a few minutes.

“I don’t care.  I’m the only other Hawk from Oceanside, and I’m standing on my prerogatives.  She’s crossing the line, and she knows it, plus the fact she seems to think I know what happens when I change.  I don’t.  I have an idea, but I don’t know anything.  It’s pointless to try to figure it out,” I replied after a few bites of my meal.  “And just where does she get off acting like a Princess?”

“Yeah, we’re not sure what caused that,” Sky Bolt answered, rubbing her hoof against the back of her head.  I had an idea, but kept it to myself.  “Look, she’s fine, normally.”

I rolled my eyes.  “And then I came along, and everything changes.  Like I told her, she’s got to earn my respect, and this isn’t how to do it.  Authority for its own sake never seemed like a good reason.  What is it about some ponies that they get ‘I’m in charge’ syndrome once they get a little power?  We’re Hawks, not those lame-brains in Canterlot.”

“Ouch,” Card said.

“She’s worried about something,” Sky Bolt said after glancing around.  “Something to do with the Griffins.”

“If they want to start trouble, they picked the wrong time,” I said.  “They still haven’t recovered completely from that food shortage, from what I heard in Canterlot, and I doubt they can fight in a storm.”

“No way.  Nopony can do that,” Lexi said.  “Nopony can change the weather.”

I smiled.  “I learned how, and Luna can.  I remember seeing it.”  They looked at me in disbelief.  “Part of what I got from Celestia were memories.  Thousand-year-old memories, among others.”  I let them digest that as I looked to my left to see Blackhawk walking up.  “What is it?”

“You didn’t exactly keep your voice down,” he replied.  “If you’re serious, we’ve got a few adjoining suites in the residence wing.  Why?”

“Because if she’s having a bad spell, I need to be there fast, and running out into the hall and into another room might take too long,” I told him seriously.  “I was too late once.  I won’t be again.”

He nodded.  “Well, okay.  They’re a little larger, and we were going to move you anyway.  How about tonight?”

“Fine, but I hope there’s a window.  Maybe some can live without seeing the sky, but I can’t.”

“What?  No, nothing like that.  We’re still mostly Pegasai here, and that goes without saying.  You’ll probably need the room, if you’re going to help with the Archives.”  He glanced at Lexi, who looked away, blushing.  “She takes a lot of work home with her.”

“Maybe.  We’ll see.  I’ve finished the genealogy list volume, and I’ll probably start on the history books, but not tonight.  I’ve got other priorities, right now.”  I looked at Eaglefeather, who had fallen asleep after finishing her second helping.  I shook my head sadly.  “Something more important, ‘Hawk,” I finished softly.

“Then I’ll let you be.  Sky lives in that wing; it’s suite four,” he said, looking at her.

She gave him an odd look.  “Are you sure?”  He nodded.  “Ooo-kay, whatever you say.”

When he walked away, I asked, “What’s up?”

She took a breath and said, “That was where Stormhawk lived until he changed sides.  I don’t think anypony’s been inside since.”

“Kinda convenient, don’t ya think?” I asked, giving her a dose of Oceanside-speak.  “Me living there might say a few things.”

“That could be, but nopony else would use it, once they heard.  It’s just going to waste.”  I thought there was something else, but let it go.

I looked at Eaglefeather, then finished my food.  “All right.  Lead the way, and would you carry my bags?  I’m gonna have my hooves full with her.”  Sky nodded, and I lifted my aunt with telekinesis, then followed the mare out, nodding to ponies I recognized by sight.  A few turns and a long walk later, we entered a large airy suite.  I looked around after Sky turned on the lights, then went into the bedroom, where I laid Eaglefeather down gently.  After covering her, I quietly left and followed Sky through the connecting door into my rooms.

I looked around, and noticed the dust.  Definitely hadn’t been used for a long time.  “Not bad.  Kinda feels familiar, now that I think about it.  My place is about like it.”

“Seriously?” Sky Bolt asked as she set my bags on a scarred but serviceable trestle table.  “Are you sure you’re not him?”

“No, I used to be Sunblur, somewhere else.” I walked to the full-length window, opened it and looked out.  I was looking east, and the moonlight streamed in.  I’ll be able to talk in a little while, I said silently.  “So what if he’s my ancestor?  That doesn’t mean a whole lot.  I told Lexi and Card they affect us, but they don’t rule over us.  Times have changed, Sky.  You don’t mind if I call you that, I hope.”

“No, and I know why.  It’s easier,” she replied as she looked at the dust.  “You’ve got a job and a half, here.”

I smiled.  “Not really.  I’ll just stir up a breeze and send it outside.  Something like that.”  I looked at the door between mine and Eaglefeather’s rooms.  “Thanks a lot, Sky.  She’s been through a lot, and she doesn’t need any more.”

She looked that way and nodded.  “We were wondering what was wrong with her.  She hardly said more than a dozen words at a time.”  She looked at me frankly.  “We’re going to need to know the whole story.  She was our source in Oceanside, and we never found out what happened.”

I nodded.  I wasn’t happy to find that out, but it wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things.  I added that to my mental checklist of what could have made her break down.  Nope, I guess I’m not finished by a long shot, I thought.  “Thanks again, Sky.  I’ll see you and the others tomorrow.”  She nodded and let herself out.  After her hoof-steps faded, I locked the doors to both suites.  I still wasn’t really comfortable here; it had been a grand total of two days, if that.  I had a few things to do, and needed privacy.

First thing, I created a mini-whirlwind to sweep up and send the dust outside.  Seeing the place clean helped my mood a little.  Next, I opened my bags, took out quill and parchment, sat at the desk and began writing.  First were two letters, one each to Blackhoof and Cash Box stating the Rus were to be cared for at my expense, and authorizing payment to that end.  After that was my statement for Birch.  Next was a long letter to Celestia.

I told her what had happened from when she left until I walked into this suite.  Then came the hard part:  I tried to explain what I was thinking when I nearly killed those Rus.  The one I’d hit with the sea water – I still don’t know how – could have drowned.  The one whose wing I shattered could have died in the fall.  The one I cooked – well, enough pain can cause a pony’s nervous system to shut down completely; I found that out while reading, as I was recovering after the run-in with the Nightmare.  It took over an hour to try to make sense of my memories, and another to write it down to where somepony else could understand it.  I spent nearly an hour trying to describe my feelings, and I think Tatiyana was right.  I’d gone mad for a few minutes.

I finished up after writing it the best I could, then sent it on, but to Rigel, not Celestia.  I didn’t want her to get it until the morning.  When I was done, I walked to the window, and discovered Stormhawk liked standing outside.  There was a balcony, and it seemed a little out of character for the Aerie being a retreat.  Well, it wasn’t a thousand years ago.

I looked up at the moon and Luna said, Art thou better?

I don’t know.  If the Aerie’s supposed to calm me down, it’s not working, or not yet, I replied.  Somehow, it seems they have to push, and I don’t know if it’s true, or if I’m being over-sensitive.  It’s still been only a day, maybe two.

I felt her nod.  Celly told me not to make contact until now, and I understand why.  I sense thy disquiet, and the questioning of why they put you in his rooms.  It may be they believe thou art Stormhawk re-born, Verdigris; they have nought else to guide them.  We – Celly and I – know the truth, but it is not yet time for either of us to appear.  It would be much like the Rebellion that cost the Dos and Kickers much in the century following my banishment, or so mine instincts tell me.  I would suggest waiting a week before making any judgments.  Re-gain thy bearings, then take a more objective look.

I nodded.  Everything she told me made sense.  I will.  I paused, then asked, How serious were you last night, Luna?

She took a while to respond.  I am not entirely sure.  It seemed at that time a filly’s passing fancy, but after some sleep and thought, I know it is more than mere infatuation, or recognition of a resemblance.  It is thee, not whom thou dost resemble.  I am as sure of that as thou of thy love for Honey and Grass.  I hope I have a place in thy heart, even if only a small one.  ‘Twould be enough as a starting point.

I nodded.  I’m still trying to think it through, but I know there’s more than friendship, Luna.  I just can’t say for sure.

‘Tis enough.  We will have converse when next we meet; mayhap by then we will all know our feelings.  ‘Tis my hope.  I must go; Court starts anon.  I will see thee again, Verdigris.  Sometime again.

Sometime again.  I walked back inside, thinking.  Well, trying to think.  Now that I knew, nothing seemed simple or understandable, not like earlier.  I had what a lot of stallions would be jealous about, but I couldn’t really accept it.  Not yet.  It just didn’t seem real.

I gave up, put my things away, and shut off the lights.  The moonlight was plenty to see by, and it wasn’t as cold as I’d thought it would be.  I got into bed and closed my eyes, hoping I didn’t have any dreams.  Some I’d rather forget about.

(((())))

Celestia read the letter not long after breakfast; it was notable because Luna hadn’t joined her, and she thought she knew why.

The first part was informative, if terse; seeing Eaglefeather must have really bothered him.  The second half wouldn’t have made any sense if she hadn’t felt his state of mind; to anypony else it would have been incoherent rambling.  Combined, they gave her a good look at what he’d been through.  Tatiyana was right, he was mad for a while, she thought.  Just like last time.  What he’d said about the Hawks thinking he could be Stormhawk reminded her of what else she’d seen the night Hawkfeather and Sky were killed.  It had been there, but the resemblance to Luna had obscured the signs.  My dear colt.  So much to live down.

She set the letter aside and walked to her balcony, which faced north.  She closed her eyes and concentrated.  Verdigris?

The reply seemed reluctant.  Yes, Celestia?

I finished the letter.  I’m sorry, even though it wasn’t my fault.  You weren’t expecting what happened, and I think I took you away for too long.  You forgot about your problems, and you got them thrown in your face.

Yeah, I thought of that one, he replied.  Reminds me of a few of Uncle Mike’s stories.  I can’t stay out of touch, so I’m going to be keeping up with everypony I can.  I don’t need another nasty surprise.  I don’t know what I might do.

She nodded.  I assume you and Luna spoke last night?  She felt him nod.  I hope you’re all right with that.  After being love-starved, she’s grabbing and holding on for dear life.  I think you can understand.

I do.  I’m not sure how to deal with it, yet.  I guess it’ll be day-by-day, as always.  There was a long pause, then he asked, How are Grass and Honey taking it?

Tatya told them about it, and I think they understand better than I can.  Shining isn’t happy with you, but I think he understands.  I know Twilight does.  You should have seen her eyes when I told her.  Sean wasn’t too happy, either; he said it’s like Torrentican might have noticed you, though I can’t see how.  It seems too coincidental, and I think we’re reading too much into what’s happening.  Not everything is his doing.

You’ll have to tell me when I get back.  I’ve got a few things going on, like restoring their Archives, and taking care of my aunt.  She’s a mess, Celestia.  She – it looks like she was trying to starve herself to death, and I couldn’t let that go.  I mean, if she dies, that’s another they won, and I won’t let that happen.  I can’t.  If I don’t stand by anypony, I can’t ask them to stand by me.  It wouldn’t be fair, would it?

Celestia nodded to herself.  No, it wouldn’t, and I’m glad you see it that way.  You and Michael really are a lot alike, and that’s in a good way.  I’ll let you get back to whatever you’ve got going, but I expect to hear from you every week while you’re gone, the same as any student of mine.  Understand?

Yes, mother, he replied seriously.  I’ve got a lot of thinking to do while I’m here, and maybe I can finally get it all straightened out in my head.  Either way, I won’t be back soon.  I think the Aerie and the ponies here need me as much as I need them.  I’ll tell you later, though; breakfast’s not far away, and Eaglefeather still needs to eat.  I’ll keep you informed.  Sometime again, god-mother.

Celestia nodded, her eyes flickering.  Sometime again, god-son.

The Day Princess sighed, and walked back into her suite to find Luna there.  “Can’t you knock?” she asked evenly.

“I did not wish to disturb thee while conversing with Verdigris, ‘Tia,” Luna replied.  “He is better, but not yet well, methinks.  Too much has happened to sort it out quickly.  He needs the time, and we – you and I – can wait.”

“Have you ironed-out your feelings?”

“Nay, that cannot be done in a single night.  ‘Tis love, but not strongly felt by either of us.  There is much ground to cover before we may address that,” the Night Princess said after a moments’ thought.  “It pains me to hear him, Celly.  He is still lost and needs to find his way, and we cannot help him, though we wish ‘twere possible.”  Luna shook her head sadly.  “All that can be done is wait.”

Celestia walked to and nuzzled her sister.  “I know, and though we’ve had time to learn patience, it’s hard.  I miss him as much as Honey and Grass.”

“Then wait we must.”  Luna covered a yawn.  “And with that, I must retire.  Good morrow, sister.”  Luna closed her eyes and her horn glowed, and she was gone.

“Pleasant dreams, Lulu.  I’ll just do my job,” Celestia said to the empty air with a gentle smile.

(((())))

Verdigris sat in the commissary, watching Eaglefeather eat as he shoveled in his own food.  The work on the genealogy had taken a lot out of him, especially with using magic and his abilities.  He had to stop to yawn every few minutes.  It hadn’t exactly been a peaceful night.  He nodded when Sky, Card and Lexi arrived.  “Good morning,” he said after swallowing.

“Did we miss something?” the Librarian asked as she saw the mound of food vanish at a slightly frightening pace.

“He was using a lot of magic, Lexi,” the Archivist replied.  “The energy has to come from somewhere.”

“Oh, right.”  The Pegasus glanced at Eaglefeather, then asked softly, “So, how’s she doing?”

“I know why she wasn’t eating well.  She was trying to keep herself alive, but unable to think much.  I guess she wanted to forget about dad and Sky, and probably keep from dreaming.  She woke up screaming last night, and we finally got a chance to talk about it, probably for the first time for each of us.  I mean really talk about it, not dance around the subject,” Verdigris replied as his aunt concentrated on her food.  “She kept to herself in Oceanside, and I was always busy, or in Canterlot, recovering from something or other.”

“Is that even possible?” Lexi asked, incredulously.  Card just stared in disbelief.

“I’ve read a study – never mind where it’s from – that said if you don’t eat enough, you lose the capacity for emotions.  There was a speculation that you could make critical thought fail the same way.  Maybe more.”  He shuddered.  “I don’t want to think about it.  She noticed it was easier to deal with the memories that way.  The problem was, I wouldn’t leave bad enough alone.  She remembered and dreamed last night, and like I said, that got us talking.”

“And?” Sky Bolt prompted.

“We’ve cleared the air, and maybe dealt with it, but there’s still a lot to work out.  She needs therapy and family near her, and that means  Canterlot.  I’ll have the Patrol in Oceanside ship her stuff there, once she’s settled – heck, I can do it myself.”

“I think I see one of your problems,” Sky said after listening.  “You don’t have to do it all.  It sounds as though you can trust the friends and colleagues you have to take care of it.  You don’t need to be there.”

“You’ve got a point, but I’m not finished in Oceanside,” he countered.  “I’ve got to finish training my replacements, and finish wrapping-up the business, or at least my part in it.  I’ve got to store my stuff, too.”  He shrugged.  “I might as well, so it gets done right.”

“Obsessive-compulsive much?” Lexi commented.

“Not yet.  Wait’ll I get started on the History section.  Once I get interested, Celestia or Luna would have to use the Royal Canterlot Voice to get my attention.  Seriously,” he replied to their startled expressions.

“No way,” Sky replied.

“Actually, I could see it,” Card said.  “If he wasn’t straining, he wouldn’t have noticed me when I got him for supper last night.”

“Whatever.  Anyway, I’ve got to ask, so don’t get mad.  What kind of training do you have?  We couldn’t miss the wing blades.”

“Patrol and Guard training.  Every time I got seriously hurt, I woke up in Canterlot.  I trained with the Royal Guards while I was waiting for my feathers to grow back in, for example.”  He spread his wings a little.  “Before, they were striped in my coat’s colors, but after the strike, they came in like they are now.”

“Who’s in charge?  Last I knew it was Surestrike,” Sky said.

Verdigris smiled.  “He retired, and Celestia appointed him as Oceanside’s Magistrate after Breakwater was recalled.  Shining Armor is the current Captain.  I’ve met him, and he’s a good one.  His sister, Twilight Sparkle, is a friend of mine.”

“Wait, you know the Element Bearers?” Lexi asked eagerly.

“I met them all after Luna was cleansed.  They’re good ponies, but then they’d have to be, right?”  He looked at the Librarian curiously.  “I didn’t think you’d heard.  Oh, right.  You have a source in Canterlot.  Do you keep tabs on every Hawk?  I can’t see how.”

“You’d have to ask Blackhawk for the particulars, but we do,” Sky replied.  “It’s not that hard.  We don’t need many ponies in any particular place, and if you know what to look for, we Hawks are easy to notice.  The same for the Kickers, Dos or Dashes.”  She tilted her head to one side as she looked at him.  “And you’re easy to see.  First, you’re an Alicorn, and your Hawk characteristics are slightly exaggerated.  Stretch them out completely.”  Verdigris complied, and she looked at his wings critically.  “Yeah, the triangle shape is more defined, and your primaries are longer in proportion.  I’ll bet you can maneuver better than most, and probably turn in your own body length.”

“Maybe,” he replied as he folded his wings.  “I haven’t tried.  Something else I can do is use my magic to push me along, instead of flapping.  That’s how I got here, until I reached the valley.  It was regular flying from then on.”

“It has to be,” Lexi responded.  “Hawks have always used their maneuverability to get the upper hoof.”  She spread her wings.  “Tell me what you see.”

Verdigris looked for a long moment.  “Interesting.  Hawk, Kicker and Dash.  I’ll bet their families weren’t happy about it.”  She shook her head as she folded her wings.  “Trust me, I know what that’s like.  My marefriends come from position-conscious families, and they didn’t appreciate it.”

“Didn’t?  What happened?”

Verdigris glanced at Eaglefeather, who sat there listening.  “Honey Bunch is ‘Feather’s step-daughter, so she knows.  Honey didn’t want to go along with her father’s plans, and she left.  Almost the same for Sea Grass.  They’re in Canterlot, now.  Honey’s one of Celestia’s hoof-maids, while Grass is going to Canterlot University.  If they’d stayed, life wouldn’t have been good for them.  They’d have had to marry somepony they didn’t care for, but their parents – Honey’s dad, anyway – were looking to build alliances.”  He scowled, and he was surprised to see the expression echoed on Eaglefeather’s face.  “They didn’t want that.  They wanted me, and I wasn’t part of an approved family.”

“That – that’s just not right,” Card said after a few seconds’ worth of stammering.  “I could see that in Canterlot, but not in a Coast town.  They’re supposed to be hard-nosed, practical ponies out there.”

Verdigris nodded.  “Oceanside’s not the usual.  I won’t go into it.  If I do, I’ll start snapping at everypony.”

“They didn’t know you’re a Hawk?”

“No, and I didn’t until dad told me.  We kept it quiet, and I don’t need to tell you why.”  Verdigris sighed.  “If somepony had told me I was Stormhawk’s descendant, I’d have asked what they’d been drinking, and how much.  I can imagine what their reaction would have been.”

“Does anypony in Canterlot know?” Sparrowhawk asked after standing nearby and listening.

“The Princesses do.  I’m not sure about anypony else, though coming here tells them I’m a Hawk.  I’d have to ask, and that can wait.”

The Unicorn nodded.  “Perfectly understandable.  So, what have you got planned?”

“I’m still waiting for Sky Bolt to explain why she asked.”

“Oh, yeah.  We keep in training because we have some problems with the Griffins.  Sometimes they come over and start trouble.  Just your average blow-hards, with attitudes to match.  They sometimes show up in Condorosa and push ponies around.  Just plain mean, some of ‘em.”

“They don’t want to meet me.  I’ve won every fight I’ve been in – well, that one was a curb-stomp.  I was way out of my depth with the Nightmare.”  Their expressions prompted him to add, “She came after me.  She was planning to turn me into her pet, to use against Celestia.  It didn’t work.  She beat me into the ground, but I obviously told her no.  There were other reasons, but that one’s as good as any.”

“Our sources were quite forthcoming,” Sparrowhawk sniffed.

“Oh, right.  Well, then you know.”  Verdigris yawned.  “Ugh.  ‘Feather, I think I’m going to talk to Luna about keeping those dreams toned down.  I don’t know how much sleep I can afford to lose.”

“S-she’d do that?” his aunt asked in surprise.

“For me, but I’m sure she’d understand the other reasons, once I told her.  She’ll need to know.   I was serious about going to Canterlot.  You’re surrounded by ponies, but you’re still all alone here.  Trust me, I know.  Having family around will help.  Even Honey Bunch isn’t petty enough to turn her back on you.  You were a typical Oceanside mare.  Emphasis on were.  That part of your life is over.  It’s time to move on.”

She looked away uncomfortably.  “I don’t know if I can.  Change is hard.”

“No Hawk in the Aerie would put up with that attitude,” Sky Bolt said.  “You’re your own pony, now.”

“Sky.”  She looked at Verdigris.  “Ease up.  She grew up that way.  It’s gonna take more than a morning pep-talk to get over.”

“Let’s hope the changes you mentioned yesterday are permanent,” Card said scathingly.  “I’m surprised there weren’t a few mares that spoke their minds.”

“Only one did.  Honey’s mother wouldn’t put up with it,” Eaglefeather said quietly.  “She returned to Manehattan when Honey was three or four.  I was thrilled when Sail asked me to marry him, but I was an Oceanside mare.  I believed the attitude because I trusted my aunt when I stayed with her a few years.  That was it.”

“Swansdown never was the brightest bulb in the fixture,” Verdigris said, nodding up at the chandelier.  Eaglefeather giggled in spite of herself.  “Dad didn’t know I’d listen to him and mom talk about their families.  I got quite an education,” he finished ironically.

“And that’s why you despise it,” Lexi said after finishing her cereal.

“That and what Honey and Grass were going through.  Of course, I was prejudiced in their favor.”

“I’m sorry for the things I said, Verdigris.  Sail swore that he was looking out for Honey’s best interests; I trusted him, and I believed him.  I never knew about the things he was doing.  It wasn’t my place,” Eaglefeather said.  “When you exposed him and his activities for what they were, well, it shook my world to the ground.  Then came Sky and Hawk’s deaths.  He wasn’t directly responsible, but he had a hoof in it.  I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did.  You have no idea what it’s like when ponies who were your friends refuse to talk to or be seen with you.  Of course, once I understood who they were, it all made sense.  It was never about position, it was about money, and control.”

“I’ll bet Breakwater, Snapdragon and a few others were more than willing to cut a deal,” her nephew sneered.  “For all the good it did them.  Surestrike wasn’t Celestia’s Guard Captain and personal Guard for nothing.  Snapdragon should have known he wouldn’t play their games, and not their way.”

“But you said that’s over,” Lexi said.  Verdigris nodded.  “And you’re still leaving?”

“The authority figures may have changed, but I'd still have to contend with the rest of Oceanside.  They know by now I was on to him long ago, when he warned me away from Honey Bunch.  The good thing is nopony else is affected.  Not really.  I’m sure Fire Coral and Sea Grape would have blamed me, if they were.”  He shook his head.  “It’s not important any more, and doesn’t matter here.  I want you to forget about all that, if you can, ‘Feather.  It’s time to live for now, not then.”  He tilted his head to one side.  “Maybe you should talk to Princess Luna.  She’s got more or less the same problem, and I’m sure having somepony to talk to can’t hurt.”

“B-but she’s a Princess,” Eaglefeather protested.

“She’s a mare, too.  She’s all that, but she doesn’t care beyond her duties.  Luna’s got to adjust to today, and I’m sure she could use help, and wouldn’t mind giving some in return.”  He paused, then said, “Celestia and Luna want to be considered friends, too.”

She blinked, then smiled.  “Everypony in Oceanside said they had to be careful when talking to you.  I see what they meant.  You might be too smart for your own good; you know that, right?”

“I’ve been doing okay so far,” he replied with a smile, which faded.  “I’ve set myself up a few times, though, but it worked out relatively okay.  I’m still alive.”

“You can’t trust to luck,” Sparrowhawk commented.  “It can’t take you very far.”

Verdigris unfolded his wings and held them up to the light as he turned some feathers with his horn.  The scars made everypony flinch.  “Trust me, I know.  If you heard about the Comet, you know exactly why.  I should have died that day.  I may have used up all my luck, so I – ah, who am I foaling?  I don’t bother to think a lot of the time.  I must have a bottomless source, or something.  I know the Princesses can’t watch everything at once, so there’s got to be some reason I get through.”

“Maybe you have a purpose?” Card File asked hesitantly.  “Something you’re meant to do?”

Verdigris flinched as he folded his wings.  “I hope not.  Every story about destiny never ends well for the poor sap it’s about.  I don’t want that.  I have a life I very much want to get back to.”

“It’s not as though he or she had much of a choice,” Lexi reluctantly pointed out.

Verdigris nodded.  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I should give up.  If you want it badly enough, you’ll get it.  Just don’t expect it right away.  All those stories say that, too.  That’s fine with me.  It doesn’t have to be right now.”

“That might be okay for you, I mean, you’ve got time, but what about us?” Sparrowhawk asked.

Verdigris grunted a laugh.  “Now I have an idea what Celestia goes through every day.  I keep hearing familiar questions.  Only problem is, I don’t know.  I’m still figuring things out as I go.”

“Okay, so that means if you’re a Prince, you’re not ready yet.”  Lexi covered her mouth in comic shock and embarrassment.  “I’m sorry,” she added meekly.  “I don’t know why I said that.”

Verdigris surprised them by chuckling.  “That’s another way I’m like her.  I don’t mind if you speak your minds.  I want to know what you think.  Trust me, I’ve seen too many ponies doing too much flank-kissing to ever like it.”  He paused in thought.  “Just don’t go out of your way to be insulting.  That I won’t stand for.”

“Okay, now that’s out of the way, are you up to keeping up your training, and showing us what you know?” Sky asked, almost as though the last few conversations hadn’t happened.

“Sure.  I need to get a look outside, anyway.  I assume we’ll be flying.  Kinda wastes a lot of training, if not.”  He grinned.

“Wise-flank.  We’ll see how good you are.”  Sky walked away, then stopped.  “I’ll let you find your own way outside, bright-colt.”  She continued on with a disdainful flick of her tail.

“Reminds me of Rainbow Dash.  She’d better be that good,” Verdigris said as he returned to his food.

“When do I have to go to Canterlot?” Eaglefeather asked softly.

“When you’re healthy enough to travel.  I don’t want you looking like this, and I’m sure Honey would agree.  None of what happened was your fault,” Verdigris replied.  “I don’t know from there.  I’ll have to think about it some.”

She nodded.  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to watch you and the others.  I never got to do anything like that with Sky; Sail thought I was spoiling him.  He was only eight, and that’s kinda my job.”  Verdigris noticed her Oceanside-speak was coming back, which he took as a good sign.

“Okay, but you stay grounded.”  He leaned over and whispered, “And Michael and I look at suicide as the coward’s way out, ‘Feather.”  She froze and looked away guiltily.  “I learned more than combat from the Guards.  I learned to read ponies, too.  It’s not going to happen here.  You can try that on Celestia, if you dare.”

The mare sighed.  “Definitely too smart for your own good.”