Pain. Terrible, head-splitting, brain-twisting pain. This is what Pinkie Pie felt as each of her senses returned to her in full force all at once, like a mob of obese ponies in line at Sugarcube Corner on Half-Price Pie Day. Touch trampled all over her sensitive head, which had hit the ground quite hard at some point, and was swiftly elbowed to the side by sight, which assaulted her eyeballs with unnaturally bright pastel colors and the intensity of the afternoon sun. Sound pumped up the metaphorical jam and amplified the voices of her friends circled around her, trying to see if she was okay. Even Fluttershy's voice became incredibly and intolerably loud. Taste and smell kind of hung out to the side, waiting for the hoopla to die down. But you know those guys, they never contribute to anything unless there's food involved.
Pinkie sat up with a start to see that Applejack was in a similar state as she lay beside her on the cobblestone pavement. She looked past the circle of her worried friends as a distinct pile caught her eye. Laying in an amalgamated heap of different animal parts was none other than the Prince of Potpourri, the Shogun of Slapstick, The Earl of Entropy, (shall I go on? NO? very well.) ~***~Discord~***~.
Upon closer inspection, however, Pinkie Pie gasped in horror as she beheld the pool of red staining the ground beneath the forlorn draconequus. A rush of adrenaline propelled her onto her feet in order to blow right past her concerned friends. She approached Discord's body anxiously as she got closer, now noticing the stump where his goat horn had snapped off, and the blackened and frayed patches of hair on his elongated torso. As she beheld his sorry state, she forced back the lump that was growing in her throat ans circled around his back to get a better look at his face.
She braced herself for the worse as she closed her eyes, wiping away the tears forming there as she pried them back open to behold Discord's face...
Totally fine.
He laid on the ground before Pinkie with a defeated scowl sprawled across his face. Defeated, but definitely alive. All of the anxiety flew out of Pinkie as she turned around to see her friends helping a now unconscious Applejack over to Discord and her. "Wow, what did you guys do to him?"
Twilight, who was splattered wit the same incriminating red liquid and sporting a few singed spots in her mane, huffed as she set Applejack down gently to the ground. "Well, when I saw he was distracted by that totem that you and AJ were trapped inside, I got everypony to team up so we could execute a surprise advance, starting with a strategic-"
"Twilight bashed him with an ice spell, and I dive-bombed him with a two-point-barrel-buck-blitz while he was distracted! Snapped his horn clean off!" Rainbow Dash brought her hooves down in front of her in a snapping motion.
Pinkie Pie winced as she looked back at the jagged stump protruding from his head. "That had to hurt... it'll grow back, right?"
Discord laconically retorted from his position on the ground. "Hm? Oh yeah. Whatever." He stuck a thumb into his mout and blew until his cheeks puffed out to either side. Like an inflating party balloon, his missing horn instantly grew back to its original state. He then sighed deeply and traced a claw along the ground in little circles.
Rarity shouldered her way to the front of the group to signal everypony's attention in her usual flamboyant manner. "Oh, but Rainbow Dash darling, you forgot the most riveting part! Why, I've never seen such an intense game of chess in all my years!"
"And Twilight won?"
"Why, naturally, darling! She is quite the strategic mastermind!"
Pinkie Pie looked back and forth between the apathetic Discord and the singed Twilight. Before she could ask her question, Discord let out a low grumble and spat out a preemptive reply. "She cheated me, that's how! I've never seen such a dishonorable use for a ketchup bomb in all my life! Which is quite long, mind you!" He sighed and dropped back into his defeated pose, muttering under his breath. "Beaten by a pony... beaten by a simple little pony... me, beaten by a pony..."
Twilight coughed nervously as Discord's mutterings fell away into awkward silence. "Anyway, Princess Celestia will arrive shortly, ready to depart with one extra statue. That is, of course, when Applejack wakes up."
Pinkie Pie kicked at the ground and lowered her voice to a whisper as she approached Twilight and her four friends. "Um, actually, I wanted to talk about that with you guys." She pointed over her shoulder to Discord. "But, in private."
Twilight eyed Pinkie speculatively before reigning the group in a tight circle and casting a thin bubble of magic around them. "Alright, this is a soundproof spell, we're now perfectly concealed. Now, what did you want to talk about, Pinkie?"
Pinkie scratched the back of her head and then took in a deep breath before continuing. "I don't think we should turn Discord back to stone!"
The uproar of disagreement from her surrounding friends was placated by Twilight's upraised hoof. "Now girls, however far-fetched this idea sounds, Pinkie obviously has a reason she thinks this is the most prudent course of action. Right, Pinkie?"
Pinkie listlessly kicked at the ground some more while staring at the ground. "When I was in that totem, Discord started talking to us. But, I saw you guys trying to ambush him in the background, so I started talking him up to distract him, you know? He was so happy I wanted to talk to him about chaos! He said he hadn't talked to anyone like that in like, forever! But then... he looked so sad when he figured out I was just listening to distract him... I just think all he really needs is a friend, you know? Someone who can talk to him about stuff so he doesn't have to hurt ponies for fun!"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Pinkie, this is Discord! Do you really think he's just gonna' leave us alone because he made some friends? He's pure, unrated chaos! As long as he's out in the open he's gonna' make trouble, so the only choice we have is to turn him back to stone." Rainbow folded her legs in front of her and hovered in place.
The group was silent for a moment as furtive glances were thrown around inside the bubble. Looking around desperately for an ally, Pinkie's eyes alighted on Fluttershy as she gasped in triumph. If anything, her innate kindness would translate to a little compassion for Discord. "Fluttershy! You haven't said your opinion yet!"
Looking up suddenly from behind the curtain of her mane, Fluttershy looked around nervously at the expectant face of Pinkie Pie, and the questioning and rather intimidating faces of the other three ponies. "Well, um, gee, I don't know..." Her gaze shot past Pinkie and caught the figure of Applejack, standing now, with her back against the soundproof bubble. "I think we should wait and hear what Applejack has to say!"
* * *
Applejack opened her eyes as soon as she felt a sticky cold substance start to seep into her side. She awoke with a shock and put a hoof to her side reflexively. When she saw her hoof was covered in a red liquid, she tentatively brought it up to her tongue and cautiously tasted it. She jerked back in surprise at the savory taste of tomatoes. "Ketchup? What the hay?"
A deep sigh from somewhere behind her caused her to jump in surprise. Looking over her shoulder, she saw a forlorn Discord moping on the cobblestone street. She backpedaled a few feet away in shock until she fell on her flank. After a few minutes her fear began to drain away as he held the position and showed no signs of getting up. She trotted over to him and poked him with a hoof. "Hey, ain't you supposed to be makin' a mess of things or somthin'? What gives, why are ya' mopin' around?"
Discord swatted her hoof away and crossed his forelegs sullenly. "What's the point? You miserable little ponies ruin my fun every time I come around here! I knew I should have started off with Manehatten this time."
Applejack scratched her head and looked at him puzzlingly. "What'd they do to ya' to take the vinegar out of ya' like this? I thought nothin' short of turnin' ya' to stone would stop yer' maniacal rampage."
Discord grumbled loudly and rolled over to face Applejack. "She beat me, okay?! Twilight Sparkle, an insignificant little pony, beat Discord, Lord of Chaos, in a chess match! She had the gall to cheat before I could, and hit me with a ketchup bomb so she could check mate me at the last move!" After receiving only more puzzled looks from Applejack, he continued. "Why do you think I chose to come to Ponyville, of all places, when I could easily cause ten times more chaos in a crowded city like Fillydelphia, or Manehatten? All I ever wanted was to rustle your jimmies and then make you six obnoxious technicolor mules concede to defeat at the hand of a superior being! But as you've shown me quite clearly today, I'm obviously not even capable of defeating a pony just shy of three thousand years my junior at a simple game of chess!"
Discord rolled over so that he faced the other way and sighed deeply once more. "I'm done. I'm not fighting you ponies anymore. Turn me to stone, I don't care. What's the point of living if I chaos isn't fun anymore?"
"What? I thought you loved chaos!" Applejack sat down by Discord with a huff. "I think yer' bein' just a mite dramatic, dontcha' think? You can't up and denounce chaos just cuz' Twilight beat ya' at chess! She cheated, so it was hardly a fair match! You woulda won fer' sure if it was fair!"
Discord looked skeptically at Applejack over his shoulder and squinted his eyes. "Why are you consoling me? I'm the bad guy, and you're the good guy, remember? I'm the one who inadvertently switched your body with that of your friend, causing you heaps of emotional strife! Why are you taking my side?"
"Wait, how did you do that, exactly? The totem, I mean."
"Oh, that was nothing. I just made sure the pink one liked the totem, and she did the rest. A very simple low level compulsion spell. Now, if you would, answer my question. Why are you and the pink one being nice to me?"
Applejack lifted her hat and scratched at her mane, which had gotten stained in a few spots with ketchup. "I can't explain it, but somehow Pinkie Pie," she said, emphasizing the name in the hopes of making it stick. ", has it in her head that yer' worth givin' a second, or in this case I reckon a third, chance. She was all tore up over leadin' you on like that in the totem."
Quite suddenly, Discord's sour expression turned into a teary puppy-eyed visage. "Really?"
"Really really!"
After a few seconds, Discord caught himself and returned to his sour expression of distaste. "I mean, I don't care!"
Applejack chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Anyways, when you've been through the wringer and back with somepony, you come to trust their reasonin' to a certain degree. I reckon if Pinkie's okay with ya', then I can at least give ya' a chance. Besides, if you betray me, I can always just turn yer' sorry ass back to stone, right?"
Discord gave a nervous little laugh and tried to hide his discomfort under a nonchalant veil. "Right, you know I might have been just a little rash with all the 'don't care if you turn me to stone' nonsense. It was just the heat of the moment, I suppose, heh heh... So, what will be done with me, anyways?"
Applejack sighed and tipped her hat back. "Well, I'm willin' to let this all slide, s'long as you fix the town and promise not to muck everything up. But I'm not so sure my friends will be so forgivin'."
For some reason, Applejack had entirely forgotten that she could see none of her friends around, which was highly unusual. She stood up and started looking around for them. "Hey, speakin' of which, were'd everypony go?"
Discord, now propping his chin on his paws pointed behind him with his tail. Applejack turned around to see the incredibly obvious dome of bright purple magic that she had somehow not noticed, probably because she is very observant. Her friends were all standing inside and looking out at her. Before she could say anything, however, she found herself being pulled forward by an invisible force until she had penetrated the magic bubble and stood front and center in the now crowded circle of her friends. "Ya'll mind tellin' me what's goin' on here?"
Pinkie Pie abruptly threw her hooves around Applejack's legs and stared up at her with pleading eyes. "AJ! You were just talking to Discord, right? You remember seeing him when we were in the totem, right? Sad eyes, second chance, love and harmony and acceptance, right?!"
Twilight stepped forward and tried to pry Pinkie away from Applejack as gently as possible. "AJ, for some reason Pinkie thinks Discord deserves another chance. Do you think that's true?"
Applejack pushed up her hat and nodded sagely to the group. "That's right." She ignored the confused and defiant outbursts from Rainbow Dash and Rarity and continued. "I'm not real sure if he's gonna' behave or not if we let him loose, but I say there's only one way to find out, and that's to give 'im a second chance. Plus, we can always turn him back to stone iffin' he acts up, right?"
Applejack and Pinkie, who was still grovelling at Applejack's hooves, looked pleadingly at the other four in the group, who were all casting unsure glances at each other, all except for Rainbow Dash, who folded her forehooves staunchly against her body coupled with a face that bespoke grim determination.
After some uncomfortable silence, Rarity stepped forth and produced a torn half of a dress from her saddlebags. "I'm sorry dears, but I can't in good conscience let that brute run free so he can commit heinous crimes such as this!" She thrust the torn garment further through the air. "THAT is just the icing on the cake of the rest of my stock once Discord got his filthy hands on them!"
Rainbow Dash floated forward and filled the space Rarity made as she stepped back. "Yeah guys, you should really get off the crazy wagon and face the facts! Discord's all about chaos, and he'll never be safe enough to let out on his own!"
All present turned towards Fluttershy for the next vote in the impromptu consensus. She was now visibly shaking as she looked between Applejack and Pinkie and the rest of the group. Both sides gave her pleading lances, which only caused her to become even more nervous before she finally spoke up. "I-I-I don't think Discord is safe! I'm sorry, but I just think he might, well... he's probably still really bad. I say, we turn him to stone, I guess."
Applejack looked back to Twilight, along with Pinkie, whose eyes were starting to tear up. She cast her gaze downward while she spoke. "I'm sorry guys, but the majority wins. Plus, I already contacted Princess Celestia, and she'll be here shortly to receive him. I know you think he's capable of assimilating to a chaos-free lifestyle, but we can't take any chances if we don't know for sure, which we don't." Twilight looked back up at the two ponies as she dismissed the soundproofing bubble. "I hope you two aren't mad at us, but its for the best, you'll see."
The others dispersed from the bubble in order to circle up around Discord. Meanwhile, Pinkie lay on the ground and close to tears as her hair began to go flat. Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder, a determined gaze set in Twilight's direction. This was far far from over. She leaned down and whispered silently in Pinkie's ear. Pinkie went from sad to curious to positively elated as Applejack conversed with her in secret. She motioned for Pinkie to stay quite and gave her a knowing wink. Pinkie, almost full to bursting with excitement struggled to keep quiet and regain her composure so she could look genuinely sad, a feat which was almost impossible in her current state.
Twilight poke Discord in the side, which elicited a small yelp. "Alright, Discord, let's get a move on. The Princess will be here to pick you up in less than half an hour."
Discord gave her a wolfish grin as he sprung to his hind legs. "Pick me up? Are we going out on a date? But this is so sudden!"
She growled and turned away, motioning for everyone to circle up and start moving. The six friends stood in a six-pointed star formation with Discord at the center, who was walking along compliantly yet warily. "Sooo... why haven't you guys turned me to stone yet?"
Twilight made an indignant noise at him and addressed him without turning around. "Because the Princess' carriage is meeting us at the East gate. And because I don't feel like hauling half a ton of stone across town."
Discord laughed nervously and then reverted to total silence. The formation walked him along through the streets of ruined Ponyville and out through the town square which was littered with broken carts and other such detritus. Quickly and discretely, Applejack tapped Discord's tail, which hung limply in front of her. He jumped slightly and slid his eyes around the back of his head quite disturbingly. Applejack, despite the unsettling spectacle, lifted her hat and gave him a knowing wink. After a brief second of confusion, the eyes on the back of Discord's head caught a glimpse of the object under the hat and lit up with understanding, winking back at her before sliding back around to the front of his face.
Twilight may be good at chess, but it looks like Applejack has her ace in the hole. Which, now that she thinks about it, is not a very apt expression to use for a chess analogy. A forward knight, perhaps? No, that's not it. Applejack was never any good at chess. She would think of something though...
* * *
Applejack stood just behind Discord at the East gate to Ponyville, which had been turned into chocolate at some point. She shifted her hooves anxiously as the landscape around them became absolutely quiet. For some reason, there were no ponies in sight, and the ones she had seen had been shacked up in a few makeshift shelters made from the scraps of their destroyed homes. Finally, a glinting speck of gold and silver appeared in the horizon, heading straight for Ponyville at an impressive pace.
As the outline of the Princess grew, Applejack caught Discord's eye and gave him a curt nod which he returned silently. After a few minutes of tense silence and Twilight straightening the tiara on her head more than seven times, the Princess finally touched down in a carriage with a team of eight pegasi guards, two for her personal carriage and six for the trailer carriage fitted with a magnificent stone plinth. The Princess alighted from her carriage and walked gracefully to the group of ponies, nodding deeply to each in turn.
"Good afternoon, Twilight. I suppose you know were Discord is at the moment?"
Twilight gave the Princess a strange look and continued. "Um... yes. He's standing right behind me!"
The Princess responded by raising an eyebrow at her student. "Is he?"
Twilight frantically turned around to find a cardboard cutout that sported a crudely drawn caricature of Discord, which was knocked over by a light gust of wind.
Twilight began to hyperventilate as she searched in each direction for the escapee. "I-I-I... but he was RIGHT THERE!!! I know it! Girls, where did he go? You had to have seen him, WHERE DID HE GO?!!"
The group of ponies turned their attention to the space where Discord had been, eliciting several gasps from the group. "My goodness, Twilight, look! The town, it's-it's..."
"Fixed!" Exclaimed Pinkie. The town behind them was indeed intact as if the entire ordeal hadn't even happened. Groups of ponies stumbled blearily out of their repaired homes and looked about as if awoken from a deep sleep. If Twilight were just a few inches shorter, her jaw would have been dragging along the ground.
The Princess turned her gaze to Applejack and Pinkie Pie over the rejoicings of Rarity, who had found the dress in her saddlebags completely restored. She stared at them enigmatically as Applejack shifted her hat, which was suspiciously more bulbous than normal. She caught their gazes, which became worried and frantic as her eyes bore down on them. After a few intense seconds, however, she gave them a discrete wink and a slight smile, which allowed them to release the collective breath they had been holding.
"Well, Twilight, girls, I believe you have everything under control here. Just contact me if you have further trouble. I would like to stay, but Royal business and all that, you know how it goes." The Princess mounted her carriage and nodded to the team of guards, who pulled away at her command.
Applejack lifted her hat ever so slightly and she and Pinkie shared a victorious hoof-bump. Twilight, meanwhile, had slumped down to her haunches and continued to stare at the repaired town and the ponies who were slowly but surely returning to their everyday routines.
Applejack and Pinkie trotted merrily through the town as the rest of their friends tried to raise Twilight from her stupor. "Hey AJ, tea for three at my place?"
Applejack patted the bulge in her hat and sidled up closer to Pinkie as she pronked along the cobblestones. "That sounds mighty fine, Pinkie ol' pal."
* * *