//------------------------------// // Friendship? Pah! // Story: From the Increasingly Complicated Mind of Discord // by Scootareader //------------------------------// Stupid, stupid, stupid. I, Discord, was once again defeated. Not even by princesses this time, but by ponies. Common, tiny, bothersome ponies. I don't turn ponies to stone. They don't seem to hold the same misgivings about trapping creatures that I do. Well, maybe I'll be stuck in here another thousand years. It's not so bad... except the whole going insane with boredom thing. That probably is bad. How did those ponies defeat me? They harness the Elements, just as the Princesses did so long ago. I never thought they would be able to use such power as they did. That's something for royalty, not for pawns. She seems too trusting. Too bold. It's a wonder she hasn't been defeated and overthrown by anypony—or any-draconequus—before now. What is the secret to her power? Those ponies kept raving about their power. The power to seal me in stone. They called it the power of friendship. What a ridiculous notion. Friendship giving one power? That's not chaos; it's not magic. There's no fuel, no gauge, no teeth. It's as effective as a pacifist threatening to detonate a mega-spell. These archaicized ideas have no effect on me. And yet, they did. I wonder what having a friend feels like. I know what not having a friend feels like. It's great. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want to, and I don't need to worry about the feelings of others. It's great! I can enjoy everything with no repercussions. It's liberating. It's the obvious choice. I can't see myself anywhere else. Ah, but my mind is drifting back to Twilight Sparkle. When I left her without friends and without hope. One of my finest moments, breaking such a disciplined and devoted pony of her devious mentor's grasp and letting her make her own decisions without her annoying “friends” to hold her back. There was... something about that moment. Something I didn't like having done. Did I... care? Oh, pah! That's just ridiculous. I love chaos, and I love not having friends. They're nothing but trouble. Friends wouldn't turn me into stone, either. So there's that. I'll think about what to do after I get out of here. Hmm... those animals seemed far too cute and innocent for my tastes last time. How about I begin with them? Some indiscriminate amount of time having been spent in my prison, I'm noticing a commotion of sorts. Chaos. I can smell it. I can feel it. It's going on everywhere. Something is brewing at Canterlot Castle. Ah, sweet release! I just need a little glimmer of chaos to be rid of this boredom. I await the impending air in my lungs. Or the lack thereof. Maybe I breathe, maybe I don't. It doesn't really matter. I'm free! Ooh, what's this? Strange black creatures, about the size of a pony. They have wings, fangs, strange eyes. These are some particularly chaotic creatures! A fine specimen for me to examine as soon as I'm released. Ah, they seem to be traveling... elsewhere. To a nearby building. Six familiar figures are dashing through the courtyard to the building. Oh, creatures of chaos, please defeat them! Why have I not been released yet? Chaos should free me, should it not? Yet nothing is going on. Oh well, I'll just watch what goes on. Oh yes, they defeated them! Those foolish ponies are getting a reality check. Time for the precious kingdom of Equestria to crumble. And I shall take my rightful place at the throne... after overthrowing these would-be saboteurs. Countless minutes pass. I see figures darting around, ponies being terrorized, the chaos in the city running rampant. What I wouldn't give to join them! Suddenly, a large pink bubble blasts out of Canterlot Castle and throws all of these fascinating creatures away. Drat. Well, now this is a surprise. Celestia is paying me a visit. She walks up to me and says, “I believe in you, Discord.” Well, that's pretty ambiguous. She loads me onto a chariot and orders the guards to fly to Ponyville. Oh, the home of those wretched ponies! Why is she taking me there? We land in Ponyville, where the six ponies and that silly tiny dragon—what was his name, Rainbow Dash?—are awaiting the arrival of their princess. The purple one, Twilight Sparkle, is upset, of course. She's seeing her favorite of all enemies, and a devilishly handsome one at that. Princess Celestia is actually explaining her motives for once? This is a big change. Oh, ha! She thinks she can reform me! Oh, please, Fluttershy? That's the poorest choice I've ever seen. This will be laughable. Bring on the freedom, my little ponies! Almost done already? That's an academy record! --Scootareader