//------------------------------// // Trouble in Paradise // Story: Tank N' Pals // by Wildebeest //------------------------------// Chapter 9: Trouble in Paradise Tensions were starting to rise among our six heroes. It had only been fifteen minutes since the train departed from Ponyville, but time really seems to slow down when you're sharing the tiny space underneath a train seat with five others. "How much longer is this going to take?" asked Opal. "I'm hungry." "Don't you worry," said Winona. "Ah'm sure there'll be plenty o' places to eat once we get off in Manehattan." "But I'm hungry now!" whined Opal. Owlowiscious made a cursory glance out the window and noticed that the train was in the process of passing over a bridge. "I can fly out and try to catch a fish for you, if you'd like," he offered. "Not a good idea," said Tank. "Even if there is fish out there, it's probably filled with mercury. It's not worth it." Opal just moaned and clutched her stomach as her hunger pangs continued to intensify. "Okay, I think I've had about enough of this," Angel said snappily. "Hey, Opal, how about I shove my goddamn foot in your mouth? Would you like that? Would that satiate your little appetite?" Opal turned her head towards the rabbit and snorted at him. "Honestly, Angel, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" "No, I kiss yours," Angel retorted. "Or, at least, I would if she wasn't so friggin' ugly." Opal let out an offended gasp. "WHAT did you say?" she demanded. "I SAAAAAAAAID... your mama's so ugly, even Pinkie Pie doesn't want to see her smile!" Oh, it...is...ON! Opal swiveled her body around to face Angel, wearing a fierce- looking scowl. "Your mama's so ugly, the cockatrice took one look at her and HE turned to stone!" she shot back. "Your mama's so fat, when Sweetie Belle tried to carry her upstairs, she got her cutie mark in heavy lifting!" "Your mama's so stupid, she tried to find the Elements of Harmony on the Periodic Table!" "Your mama's so stupid, she went to the hardware store and asked if they had the Wonderbolts!" "Your mama's so fat, Iron Will had to give her a personal seminar just to motivate her to sit up!" "Your mama's so-" "THIS IS... MANEHATTAN." Tank's head perked up. "That's us!" he said, revving up his propeller and taking off toward the front of the car. "Come on, gang, let's get a move on." "We'll continue this later," Angel murmured to Opal as the two of them followed Tank out the door. Unfortunately, it seemed as if the two had gotten a little too caught up in their battle of wits, since their four companions were already waiting for them outside by the time they managed to squeeze through the crowd and hop out onto the platform. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Tank. Tank?" Much to Angel's bemusement, Tank didn't respond to him at all. When he found him, the tortoise was completely frozen in place, with his eyes bulging outward and his jaw hanging open. A glance to his right revealed that the rest of his friends were following suit; like Tank, they all seemed to be locked in a state of shock. Even the normally stoic Gummy showed a glimmer of starstruck awe in his eyes. "The hell are you guys staring at?" asked Angel. "Seriously, what's going o...o... "Oh, my." Angel caught on as soon as he looked forward and lay his eyes on the bright, vivacious landscape before them. The cold, concrete-and-steel construction of Manehattan was immediately offset by the warm glow of the city lights, which illuminated a world more animated than they knew existed. Pure, unadulterated life was bursting from the eyes of every pony they saw. They had a vague idea of what to expect, but for six animals that grew up in the sleepy town of Ponyville, it was incredibly jarring to see a place like this, a place this dense with action. One look at nighttime Manehattan would be enough to make Princess Luna green with envy, because the collective glow of the city put the light of the moon to shame. "And y'all wanted to go to the park," Winona said smugly, regaining her composure. "Now we've got a beautiful city in front of us, and it's all ours for the takin'. Let's go!" With that, Winona dashed out of the station and into the heart of the city, with her five friends at her heels. "So whaddaya reckon we should do first?" she asked. "I... I don't know," uttered Owlowiscious, who was still trying to overcome his shock. "Everything here looks tempting. Especially that!" He pointed his wing towards a small, one-story building just across the street from them. The sign above it read 'PET PARADISE' in glowing, all- capital magenta letters. The other five eyed Owlowiscious confusedly. "What's so special about that one?" asked Opal. "Why, it's called 'Pet Paradise'!" exclaimed the owl, eliciting a gasp of delight from his friends. "I'm not sure what they sell or what they're offering, but it has to be something good, right?" The rest of the gang nodded in agreement. After glancing both ways to make sure that the street was clear, they quickly bounded across it. "Golly, Owlowiscious," said Winona, "ah didn't know you could read!" "Oh, how novel!" Angel said mockingly. "Who would have guessed that the owl who lives in a library can read?!" "Angel, don't make me bite you," grumbled Winona, shooting the bunny a dirty look. "Like you would have the guts," Angel sneered. "Don't think ah wouldn't!" warned Winona as she hopped onto the sidewalk and jogged through the open door. "I'll have you know that ah...ah..." "That you what?" asked Angel, following her inside. "I mean, for Pete's sake, finish your sentences, Winona. It's not that-" The two were rendered speechless as soon as they stepped into the store. Tank, Gummy, Opal and Owlowiscious followed soon after, and were struck with the same reaction. Inside, they were all met with a cacophony of squawks, growls, meows, squeaks, barks, hisses and whinnies. In a way, it was slightly reminiscent of Fluttershy's garden. Except that Fluttershy didn't keep all of her animals locked up. The six of them saw aisles and aisles of cages and tanks, which were being used to house a multitude of diverse, distressed- sounding animals. None of them could spy a single creature that wasn't forced into a cramped iron box. "This is paradise?" Owlowiscious asked rhetorically. "T-Tank... I'm scared," whimpered Opal, wrapping her forelegs around the tortoise's shell. "All in favor of getting the hell out of here, say I," said Angel, raising his trembling paw. "This... this just ain't right!" cried Winona. "We gotta get these critters out of here, one way or another." Tank shook his head. "Winona, that's awfully valiant of you, but how are we even going to-" Suddenly, a massive shadow passed over our six heroes. They all looked up to find a goatee- clad stallion in a ragged red shirt towering over them. A name tag that read 'Hello, my name is CARL' adorned his chest. "Ah, crap, who let the animals outta their cages?" he asked wearily. "What's going on?" called a deep, gruff voice from the back of the store. "Nothin', boss," Carl called back over his shoulder. "Some animals just got loose. I'll put 'em back." In a fit of panic, Angel ran up to the employee and punted him hard in the shins. "GAH!" he grunted, crumpling to the floor. "Son of a..." "Run!" shouted Angel, motioning towards the door. Tank, Opal, Gummy and Owlowiscious immediately dashed out into the street. Winona, however, just gazed forlornly at the rows of cages before her. "But what about the-" "Dammit, Winona, I said RUN!" Angel hollered, grabbing Winona by the collar and dragging her outside. Winona reluctantly complied, narrowly escaping Carl's clutches. With no time to spare, the six sprinted away from the store as fast as they could.