//------------------------------// // The Crazy Thing About Vacations // Story: Jokers Wild // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Chapter 1: The Crazy Thing About Vacations "The wind blows from across the beautiful and lush green landscapes, the sun's early light only adding to the radiance. I watch the city, full of hustle and bustle with folks walking around enjoying the wondrous break of day, and yet I am sad," the voice came from an odd sort of man, talking only to himself while he looked out from a balcony on the beautiful castle. To those that knew this man well, it generally came as no surprise. Taking in a deep breath, he began to speak once more. "Why oh why does the princesses believe that I, Perry O'te, need to take some time off? I am full of life, energy, and vigor. One such as me does not need rest!" he exclaimed loudly to what one would assume was absolutely no one. Though some may have believed that he was simply speaking to the wind, he knew that another would be able to hear him loud and clear. Perry looked upwards, a head poking itself down from the balcony above. This person's head donned a shining gold crown, a symbol of her strength and power, over her long flowing multicolored hair. This icon of power also had a beautiful face, though it currently showed a combination of concern and frustration. "Perry, I honestly haven't the slightest why you pretend that no one can hear you every time you decide to monologue, at five in the morning, when there are still some trying to sleep," she spoke, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "Seriously, you need some time away to relax, and enjoy yourself." Her next action would have been deemed crazy, possibly suicidal had she not had large white wings to keep her afloat as she jumped off the upper balcony towards him. She wore a regal dress made for both looks and comfort, shimmering with a mixture of pale yet noticeable colors over a soft white, flowing well past her legs. Perry backed himself up giving her room to land, as he was definitely no stranger to this woman. "Princess Celestia, pardon me for interrupting...umm... whatever it is you may be doing," he said as he gave a polite bow, his mask's odd grin and black plus sign shaped eye holes hiding whatever expression he may have had. Perry was, for lack of a better term, eccentric to say the least. He wore a long sleeved shirt, donning diamond patterns with alternating colors of green, red, and white. Its look would be quite straining to the eyes of some, but in his line of work, being an eyesore helped to draw attention to himself. A light beige colored pair of pants made of a nice stern material gave him function and style, at least what he considered style, drawing out more odd contrast between his shirt. His boots brown and thick, though well worn, gave the appearance of constant use, yet no neglect. The oddest thing about him was that mask concealing his face. It hid his entire image behind its white ceramic, a special glass for eyes gave him the ability to see others without his eyes being able to be seen by others. Their shape, the plus sign, held that glass in quite nicely and was made not to disrupt his field of vision. The only other feature of the mask was a light blue smile simply painted across the mask where a mouth would be, simple to the point where it would look like one line, yet still gently done without haste as to make it look sloppy. A close look would reveal tiny pinprick holes across the smile, making it easier to breath and be heard, but from a distance one would never notice. "You didn't interrupt anything, Perry. It was just...annoying, that's all," she answered softly. He took that as a cue to become more relaxed with her. Leaning on the entrance of his balcony knowing it would open inward, he fell backwards. As he landed onto the floor, he used his momentum to do a backwards roll and got right back up to his feet. "It would be impolite to not invite you in, my princess," he spoke in his usual quirky tone, brushing his brown hair away from his mask. She let out a slight giggle at his action before entering. "You always had such a simple way to make my day better. Oh how we are going to miss you here. But trust me this will be a great thing for you. You spend too much of your time cooped up here, so this will be good. Trust me," Celestia said softly to him. She had just the place as well. Ponyville, recommended by her and her sister due to its calm and friendly atmosphere, would be the perfect place to get away from it all. He already had his things sent over there but he still knew he would miss his job here at the castle. "Still, my princess-" he started to speak, but was interrupted by the one he was speaking to. "Please, Perry, Celestia is fine. We have known each other some time now so you don't have to be so formal, besides it doesn't suit you," she said to him reassuringly. "Alright then. Still, Tia," Perry chuckled, casually taking a seat and propping his legs up on the table. Being completely informal now served its purpose, causing Celestia to giggle at his sudden change and attitude. "The whole two month thing doesn't seem necessary to me. Why not a week or a day or an hour! Yes! An hour sounds good. What do you say, Tia?" he asked, partially joking, partially serious. "You know better than that, Perry. Besides, with the things you have done you definitely deserve this, so don't be modest. I'm sure after an hour," she gave a slight emphasis on the hour with a grin, "you will come to enjoy it too much to wish to leave." Perry knew she was challenging him. Who was he to ignore such an innocent request. His mask hiding his sly smile, Perry leaned back into the chair and rested his arms behind his head. "I accept your challenge," he said calmly, hiding his intent. "Try as you might, I will not enjoy my first hour there. And when I don't, I shall take the next train back here. But if I do, then I will submit to your whim and stay there for the full two months, never to complain to you about it again. Do you agree to said terms and conditions outlined in this verbal contract between us willing parties?" Perry's mask hid his intent well, Celestia none the wiser that she was falling right into his trap. As much as Celestia knew that this vacation was necessary, the mischievous side of her couldn't help but take control of her reasoning. Normally she wouldn't do something like this, but the way he acted, his declaration, and how she would deal with it made the probable outcome so much more enjoyable. "I, Princess Celestia, Sun Goddess of Equestria, agree to your terms and conditions. But," she started speaking as he was just a minute ago, "on one condition. You must actually try to have a good time. If I hear that you spent the entire time at the train station," she gave a scary smile towards the court jester, one that those who decided to cross Celestia knew all too well, "you will have wished you stayed there," she smiled sweetly and casually walked back outside, knowing for sure that behind that mask of his, he was sweating bullets. "He may hide his face but he can be easy to read sometimes," Celestia thought to herself. "O-Of course, my princess! I wasn't even thinking of it!" Perry spoke quickly, poorly hiding the fact that he was planning exactly that. "Well my train shall be arriving soon so I must be leaving now!" he said to Celestia, packing last minute belongings in a hurry as she started to fly back to her balcony. "Take care, Perry and I hope to not see you soon," she spoke back jokingly. He gave the Princess a slight nod before heading out of his room, making his way to the train station. ---------- ---------- ---------- The Sun Princess entered her room from her balcony, and headed over to her desk, decorated by many devices. Most, one would guess, meant to relieve boredom. She pulled back one of five metal beads on a device labeled Starswirls Cradle and let it go, the bead hitting the others and sending the one at the opposite end away from it. She smiled at it, remembering it as a present her favorite student gave to her for a Summer Sun Celebration, the one before she moved to Ponyville herself. Watching the metallic spheres go back and forth, she began to think about Twilight, the one who gave her the simple yet amusing toy, and the possible disaster she was regrettably sending her way. A look of concern grew on her face as she continued with her plan. She took up a quill and piece of parchment, dipping the quill into the ink bottle and starting what was to be a letter that would start a very interesting tale. "Dear Twilight Sparkle..."