The Longest Road
Luna sat up in her bed reluctantly. The previous night hadn’t yielded very much rest; she kept having dreams about the soldier who was being held captive by the griffons to the south. It disturbed her, thinking about what might have been going on for so long. Especially when Ryan’s experiences got into the mix.
As Luna got up, she looked over to Starstep, who still slept peacefully by the flames. “I wonder if he has any idea that his friend is still alive?” She felt a pang of guilt. “I wish I could tell him... but then he would probably try to go rescue his friend.” She hopped off her bed. “And I don’t want to lose him.” She walked over to her library, but as she passed Starstep, she looked down at him sadly. “I’m sorry, Starstep.” She nuzzled him in his sleep, causing him to stir. He made what sounded like a happy noise. “Truly, I am.” She walked away from him.
Initially, she planned on going right back to Ryan this morning, but she decided to clean herself up first. She brushed her teeth and took a shower. In the shower, she thought about what Ryan might be doing. “I wonder how much longer until he reaches Narendra?” she asked herself aloud. She asked herself this and many more questions, not even noticing the door open and Starstep walk through. He was in a state of half-sleep, and had no awareness of his surroundings. In this state, he used the toilet and, albeit unknowingly, flushed it. The flush generated a sudden surge of hot water in the shower. “AAHHH!” Luna yelled. She leapt out of the shower, right into Starstep, who was well into being awake after that scream. They fell to the ground.
Luna sat up and glowered at her guard. “Starstep.” she growled. Starstep looked up and swallowed, terrified at the prospect of what his princess might be about to do to him.
“Umm, y-yes your majesty?” She got up from him and went back to her shower, turning the temperature up. Before he knew what was happening, he was glowing navy blue and flew right into the shower.
“HOT HOT HOT!” he yelled. Luna laughed maniacally.
“Understand the burning sensation that you have put me through, dear guard!”
Not willing to let it go, Starstep yelled back, “Too much information, princess!” Luna’s laugh screeched to a stop, and she just stood there, unsure of how to respond. Starstep took the opportunity to get out. “I can see that you heard me.” Luna was turning purple, her blue coat combining with the red blush. She pushed him against a wall with her hoof, which Starstep didn’t fight against. She got close to his face, then used her other hoof to hold him up. “Whoa, aren’t you supposed to take me to dinner first?” Starstep just kept on digging a deeper hole for himself to fall in. Luna smirked and pressed up against him.
“Those are the old ways.”
Now it was Starstep’s mind’s turn to screech to a stop. He had no idea what to do; there was no way to respond. Luna let him go. “Hah!” she yelled. Starstep was still too stunned to speak. “I win!” She pranced out, leaving Starstep wet on the floor. He shook himself off.
“For now.”
Luna hopped down the stairs, her day having started off nicely. Perhaps it was a good sign of things to come? At that thought, Luna dropped down the staircase, gliding to a stop at the bottom. When she arrived, she felt somehow cold. She looked over to the pool, a sudden lump forming in her gut, ruining her good mood. “Ryan...” she said, slowly walking over. Apprehensively, she peeked into the pool, unsure of what to expect. She felt enormous relief when she saw that Ryan was in a car, sleeping. Before entering the pool, she thought about that feeling she had gotten. “I hope that nothing happened...” After that thought, she lowered herself into the pool, nervous about what might happen in the other world.
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Ryan slept restlessly in the back of the car. In his dreams, he was tormented by the images of his journey, all the people he had killed. He couldn’t escape their burdensome presence, day or night. They were always there to be the scourge of his life.
He was now just laying in the back of the car, sleep deprived and thoughtful. He wondered how long it would take to get to Narendra’s compound north of Buon Me Thuot. In the glove compartment, he had found a map of Southeast Asia, and thankfully, it was in English. The car must have belonged to some South African guy or something. After looking over the map and his gas meter, Ryan determined that he could probably get most of the way to Buon Me Thuot, then just walk the rest. He still had some supplies to live off of, and they’d last him a while, if he rationed properly. The journey would only be a day or two, too, so he would have more than enough for this.
His thoughts turned to what he was going to do after he did this thing that he had been going for so much. What could he do? He couldn’t go home. He couldn’t stay in Asia, not with him having become an international criminal. He had killed a border agent! They probably thought that he was some kind of terrorist. The irony. He had no money, so travel wasn’t really an option. There was really only one thing he could do; off himself, or cause enough trouble to get someone else to. He had made a promise to Harris, but at this point, why would that matter? They were just words, in the end. They held no power over his actions. Yet, he couldn’t shake off the memory that he had made such a promise.
Something felt like it was exerting pressure against Ryan’s mind. Disregarding it as sleep deprivation, Ryan rolled over and tried to rest. When the pressure increased, Ryan sat up and rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t getting much rest anyway.
In front of him, on the hood of the car, lay Luna. Ryan let out a startled cry at the sudden introduction of dark blue in the predominantly green and brown landscape. After recovering, he looked forward at her.
“You know, you could give me some advance warning next time.” he said loudly in an effort to get his voice through the glass. Luna floated forward, through the windshield, and sat next to Ryan the way a human would. Ryan looked at her oddly, then decided that it was just one of those things.
“Good to see you too.” she replied. Luna glanced around the car, but seemed perplexed about something.
“Something wrong?” Ryan asked.
Luna turned back to him. “Where is Harris?” she asked.
Ryan looked at her for a brief moment, but perhaps that moment was too long. Luna saw a sadness in Ryan’s eyes as he tore them away from her gaze. “Ryan?” she asked. He looked out the windshield, trying to ignore her. “Where is Harris?” Her voice was laden with concern. If it were tangible, it could probably be used as a blanket.
“We attacked Narendra’s compound in Cambodia.” Ryan answered. He was still in Cambodia, but semantics weren’t terribly important at the moment. Luna’s eyes became like craters on the moon, deep and huge.
“What?” she said. Ryan didn’t answer; instead, he turned on the car, the engine roaring into life. Luna kept watching Ryan, totally oblivious to the car. “Ryan, what happened to Harris?” Ryan set the car in gear and began to drive.
“We attacked the compound. Inside, shit happened. He’s okay, but...” His eyes looked like dams; there could be a million gallons of water behind them. “He isn’t going to be joining me any more.” The car bumped up and down as Ryan drove it down the road. It was the longest road, but it wasn’t likely to have enemies, police, or distractions. Luna sounded like she didn’t believe Ryan.
“Why not?” Ryan shook his head, tears beginning to flow.
“I... he...” He started over again. “Luna, please understand...” He just couldn’t figure out how to say it. Shaking his head, his chest began to bob up and down.
“Ryan,” Luna pleaded. “I promise I’ll listen to the whole thing.” Taking in a deep breath, Ryan let out a long, exaggerated sigh.
“We attacked the compound. While I went through, I killed a bunch of guys.” That part was easy to say, and Luna could tell. She shifted uncomfortably. “Eventually, I found Narendra. He was on a stage. By that time, I had taken a big machine gun, and... I... I just lost it.” Luna put her hoof on Ryan’s shoulder. The car slowed to a stop. “I promised you I would try not to do any evil...” He let his head fall to the steering wheel. “But when I unloaded into that room... there was a girl, being auctioned on the stage.” Luna felt her chest tighten. “She... she was next to Narendra. She’s dead.” Ryan burst into tears.
Luna watched Ryan unfold himself before her. She was at a loss as to what she should feel; Ryan just told her that he killed an innocent girl. But she did say that she would listen. “At the time, I didn’t even realize. Only after I stopped, did I see what had happened.” He looked straight into Luna’s eyes and commanded her gaze. “Even then, I just walked past her bloodied body.” Ryan closed his eyes. “I... I don’t have any idea what I can do.” Luna looked pitifully at the boy. She had no idea what he was feeling.
“What happened to Narendra?” She already knew the answer.
“He got away.” Yep. Luna pondered this for a moment.
“Had he been more careful, the girl might be alive, and Narendra might be dead.” But that wasn’t the only issue at hand. “But, his current mental state is, at most, only partly his fault. None of this is his fault, but he has handled it ... well, I can’t rightly say how. I don’t know these feelings.” She stopped thinking on the last thought. “I can’t judge him at all... how can I?” Ryan still cried into the steering wheel. “He has tried to do good... even if he failed.” She removed her hoof from the boy.”And I suppose that’s all anyone can ever expect from anyone, isn’t it?”
Luna moved her head to be next to Ryan’s and hummed a faint lullaby. Surprisingly, it actually did serve to calm the boy down a bit. “Ssshhhhh.” she said. She didn’t even know what she was about to start saying, only that she was going to try to help Ryan. “You tried. Sometimes, we don’t get what we want just because we try.” She thought about a phrase Ryan had told her about the first time they met. “When we fall off the horse...” She wanted Ryan to finish it. He lifted his head; the tears had slowed.
“... we get back on.” he finished. Luna smiled a little inside.
“Now go forth and get your justice.” she said. Ryan turned the car back on and drove onward, Luna, feeling conflicted, by his side.
Harris was driving his car conservatively, trying to save gas and not go too fast. If he went too fast, then he would catch up to Ryan, which he didn’t want to do just yet. He was planning on staying behind him, just far enough so that he could jump in to save his old friend if necessary, but not so close as to be seen by him.
Discord was in the back seat, watching the scenery pass by. “Just keep following the road. It’s actually a straight shot to Buon Me Thuot, the road is just really long. As long as you keep your distance, you won’t need any further directions from me.” Discord had used a spell on Ryan so that he could always find him, and so he could give Harris any directions he might need in the future while he followed Ryan. It was extremely helpful, and now Harris could see why Ryan would be interested in keeping Discord around.
“Alright.” the boy replied.
Harris was trying to think through what exactly he was trying to do by following Ryan. He knew that he was going to try to protect him, but what else was there that was making him do this? Why was he doing what he was doing? There truthfully wasn’t a lot he could do; he still had the Automag, but he wasn’t sure that he willing to use it. If he had to, he hoped he would, but the implications were enough to make his head hurt. Nothing was making sense any more; Harris was just doing what he thought seemed like the right thing. Some people spent an eternity trying to figure out what they wanted. It’s often times the longest road a person can follow. Rather than follow that road, though, Harris deviated off and tried to focus on the now. And now, he wanted to make sure Ryan was okay.
He had come to a close call when he was following Ryan. Being half an asshole, Discord decided not to tell Harris that Ryan’s car was just up ahead, and Harris actually came into view of it. He had stopped and could only hope that Ryan hadn’t seen it. Presumably, Ryan was parked and sleeping in the car, so the odds of him spotting Harris were low, especially after Harris parked off the road. It was a close one, though. While parked, Harris fell asleep, and when he awoke, Ryan had already driven off.
“Discord...” Harris thought indignantly. He turned on his car and drove.
As he followed the road, he thought more about what he was doing, but rather than worry about the why’s, he worried about the what’s and the how’s. If Ryan was attacked, how would he help? The most reasonable option seemed to be to attack head on, since whoever would attack Ryan wouldn’t see it coming. He could distract them long enough, maybe even take them out, and Ryan would be able to get himself out of trouble. But how would Ryan react to Harris’ presence? He had sent him off to go home, but Harris wasn’t doing that. Would Ryan be angry? Happy? Or would he just send him off again, sadly unable, for whatever reason, to travel with his friend? Harris couldn’t help but think that, regardless of what happened, he wouldn’t be able to stay with Ryan.
Discord must have been listening to Harris’ thoughts, because he felt like chiming in on the issue. “Yea, Ryan probably won’t let you stick around him. Not sure how he would do it, but he would find a way.” Harris grunted, unhappy that someone else came to the same conclusion as he.
“Oh? And what made you think about that?”
Discord answered him straight up. “I listened to your thoughts.” he leaned forward. “You seemed troubled.” Harris sighed impatiently.
“Personal space mean anything to you, guy?” Discord laughed.
“No. Why in Equestria would it?” Harris was about to ask what the Hell Equestria was, but Discord kept on talking. “When you’re as magical as me, rules need not apply for a position, because they aren’t welcome in the office.” Harris shook his head and just watched the road, the car becoming awkwardly silent. He kept on thinking about the possibilities of what could happen, and with each one, he grew more nervous.
Discord sat back in his seat, observing the boy in front of him. “He’s a good kid, if a little dull.” The things he was thinking about were pretty predictable. “Ryan. Now, there was an interesting kid. Clever and headstrong, for the most part.” Discord grew bored with his thoughts quite rapidly. “So what do you plan to do with Ryan after all this is said and done?” he asked. The car lurched forward with a moment of added speed; Harris was taken by surprise by the question. “He has no real plans for himself, but any plans that you might have for him will be unacceptable to him. So what’ll happen?” Harris was silent. “After this, is there any way you can keep helping him? I certainly could, but I’m not too sure that you can.” Harris’ breathing became deep and slow. His hands gripped the steering wheel hard enough that his hands turned white. “What will you-”
“I don’t know!” Harris yelled. “I-I don’t know, okay?! All I want is to make sure Ryan isn’t killed by these bastards!”
Discord let Harris fume in the front seat for a minute before speaking again. “But what will you do after?” he asked. Harris still fumed. “Will you just go home? Forget about him, everything that’s happened?” Harris began to calm down. “I think he’d like that.” Harris shook his head, a pained expression on his face that permeated the rest of his body.
“I’ll never be able to forget about this, Discord. And neither will he.”
Discord took in his words and calculated their meaning. “You know, he might not want to live on after this. He’s your friend, so I can understand why you want him to live on, but do you really have the right to try to make him?” Harris kept his eyes forward. “He has suffered, more than even you can ever know. What right have we or anyone to make him live with what he’s seen, what he’s done?” Harris glanced back at Discord.
“You make no sense.” Hah! One of the few times Discord tried to make sense, and it wasn’t working.
“Me? I’m making perfect sense. You’re allowing what you want to overshadow your judgment. Believe me, I know what it’s like to live in a terrible state of being; I did it for over a thousand years, and after the first few months, I wanted to just end it. I know what Ryan’s going to feel like; and I know that it isn’t something that anyone should ever be subjected to.” Harris shook his head.
“No, no. I can’t let him die. It wouldn’t be right.”
Discord sighed. “Sometimes, there is no right decision. You’ll have to pick the lesser of two evils, and for that, there is no guideline, no set of rules to follow. You just have to decide and move on.”
Harris stopped talking to Discord after that. he didn’t want to; how could Discord, an evil spirit of chaos and mayhem, possibly know what was right or wrong? Harris felt a bit of anger boil up, but quickly doused it to control himself. Discord clearly knew suffering; but he had no idea of the suffering that Ryan and Harris had gone through. Harris knew that Ryan could be brought back, but only he could do it. Only someone else who knew could possibly help. That was what Harris decided to do; after all was said and done, he would bring Ryan home and help him become the way he used to be.
Harris had decided on the longest road to end the suffering; but he didn’t know how many potholes and detours would be there along the way.
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The car ride was spent mostly in silence, at first. Ryan had been thinking about how he would go about attacking Narendra’s new compound, in Vietnam. Narendra was obviously going to be aware that Ryan was alive and hunting him, and would likely have some kind of trap set for him. Ambushes, bombs, gundowns, all were possibilities.
As it turned out, Ryan was already in Vietnam; he had been driving for several hours. At the border, where there was mysteriously no checkpoint, Luna tried to lighten everything up abit with meaningless conversation. “So, umm...” she started. Ryan was done thinking a while before, and decided to actually listen, maybe make the car ride less interminable. Luna tried to keep the conversation away from potentially violent things. “Where did you learn to drive?” she asked. Ryan flexed his fingers, then wrapped them back around the steering wheel.
“I learned back in New Jersey. Failed the first test, passed the second time.” Luna was relieved that she had found a normal topic of conversation.
“What happened on the first one?” she asked. She was actually curious as to what his life had been like, and anything was good.
“I missed a stop sign. It was bent over, and the other one that was SUPPOSED to be there was outright missing.” He shrugged. “Live and learn.”
Luna scoured her imagination for anything else to talk about. She could actually do anything, almost, but she wanted to ask something that seemed interesting. Then she remembered SCUBA Diving. “So what kinds of interesting things have you seen while you were SCUBA Diving?” she asked. She couldn’t quite tell, but she thought she saw a smile crack onto Ryan’s face.
“Lots of things, actually. I saw a reef shark once, tons of little ray and skates, freakish looking fish, and even a Manta in Miami once.” Luna listened with interest. Ryan sounded like he had seen many interesting things in his life. He laughed. “Once, the divemaster found a pufferfish. Since he was wearing gloves, he decided to poke it, you know, make it puff up. Then, he decided to push it at us all!” He laughed, drawing Luna in a bit. “I was freaking out. And this other time, I saw this huge lobster, like a little bigger than my torso,” Luna looked at Ryan’s torso; that was a big lobster. “And the dive master nearly swam right into it, ‘cuz she couldn’t see it.” Ryan was actually smiling by now. “Those were good days.”
Luna was happy to have gotten Ryan to feel something pleasant, after what he had been going through. As long as she was careful, she didn’t have to worry about him too much, it seemed.
The sun was beginning to dip over the horizon. “I think I may have to stop soon.” Ryan announced, slowing his car down. “Don’t want to risk traveling in the dark, maybe run into an ambush.” Luna nodded her agreement.
“Very well. I should probably take my leave, head home. I need to raise the moon.” Ryan looked at her with a skeptic’s face.
“Yeah. You go do that.” Luna rolled her eyes and started to disappear.
“I will. If only you could see it.” She sighed, nearly gone. “Ahh, well. Maybe someday.” She was gone.
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Luna didn’t hesitate to get up, and ran up her staircase to her room. While she was in the car, she had been thinking of things to do to her guard when she returned. All sorts of things came to mind; she could use magic for hundreds of things, she could put him in an awkward situation with other guards around, she could do almost anything. At the top of the stairs, she scanned the area. No one. She went to her room. No one. “Hmmm.” she muttered. She went over to her door and listened through it; no noise. Of course, he could still be out there. She burst through the door. “Ahah!” she shouted. Two guards just looked at her, wondering what she was doing. “Ahem.” she said, regaining her composure. She regally walked past the two guards, who snickered behind her. She turned around. “Where is Starstep?”she asked. Both guards suddenly got quiet. They looked at each other seriously, then turned back to Luna, who cocked her head at them.
“He’s in the garden.” one said. Luna thanked them and walked off. Why would he be in the garden?
She made her way to the garden, deciding that she would go to the balcony to raise the moon after. Starstep had actually left his post. He didn’t just do that.
Luna entered the garden quietly. If Starstep was, in fact, out here, he would probably be wanting privacy. As much as Luna was ready to violate that privacy, she wanted a moment to observe him in his moment of privacy, to determine why Starstep was here. She scoured the area, going to all the most remote places in the garden first. Was he hiding? Maybe he had planned for Luna to come looking for him. She could not rule out that possibility. She looked high and low, but found nothing.
As she walked back to the door, what she saw made her feel ridiculous. Starstep was in front of the Nighthawks statue, just sitting there, looking up at it.
Luna quietly, like a mouse, approached from behind him, to see if he was saying anything to himself. It turned out, he was. “Nice piece of flank, she is. Personality’s a winner to boot, too. Wouldn’t mind stealing that royal treasure.” Luna’s face grew hot at the words. Was he talking about her, or maybe Celestia? “Yeah, that moon is nice and full.” Luna’s mouth opened, and she was dumbstruck. Clearly she was not meant to hear this. She turned to walk away. “Hey Luna.” Starstep blurted, causing Luna to leap ten feet into the air.
She recovered and looked at her guard, who smiled evilly at her. Oh, he was good. Looking around, Luna was glad that no one was there to hear it. “How did you know that I was here?” she asked. Starstep shook his head and brought his hoof to his face.
“You walked right over there, Princess. I saw you come in.” Luna blushed a little, embarrassed that her stealth had totally failed. Starstep turned back to the statue. “Yeah, not the most situational awareness I ever saw.” Luna frowned at him and walked over, plopping herself down next to him.
“Whatever.” she said.
Starstep decided to mock her. “No witty response? Come on, I practically live for that.”
Luna leaned on him. “None right now. I’m all dried up.” Starstep snickered.
“I somehow doubt that.” Luna scrunched her face and pursed her lips at the sudden intrusion of words, deciding not to even respond to it. Starstep sighed and set his eyes on the Crest of Valor.
Luna looked at his face. She had learned, from watching Ryan, how to figure someone out by looking at their face. Starstep’s face betrayed little emotion; his jaw was steady, his brow was still, and his nostrils stayed calm. It was his eyes, though. In them, Luna could see the sadness with which she had lately become familiar. Starstep suffered from loss. He had lost his whole team to those griffons, and he wasn’t even aware that one was still alive. Though it was probably for the better that he didn’t know. His eyes displayed a longing for the friendship he once knew, but there was something more, something Luna couldn’t quite define.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
Starstep didn’t move, only said, “I’m fine.” Luna wasn’t letting him get away that easy.
“You can talk to me, you know.” She put her wing around him. He wasn’t getting out of this. “I’ll listen.”
Starstep embraced the wing, letting it pull him into Luna’s side. He let his head fall down, and Luna put her head over his as if trying to protect him from some unknown danger. “I miss them.” he said. Luna nodded.
“I understand.” She rubbed his side with her wing. “Would you like to talk about them? I’m sure they were great stallions.” Starstep scooched closer, glad to be in the presence of someone who actually cared about his team.
“I loved those guys. Blazer and I were especially close. We did everything together; we drank, we worked, we were paired up in our team.” Luna remembered the name from the letter she had stolen a read from before, when she helped Starstep move in. “It’s... it’s just so hard to believe that they’re gone.” Oh, how Luna longed to tell him the truth, that one may yet be alive. But, at the same time, she couldn’t do that to him. She held him tightly, putting her foreleg around him nice and tight.
“I understand.” she told him. Starstep buried his face in her shoulder. “But you must know that all they would want for you would be happiness. You can’t let this get you down.” Her coat grew wet where Starstep’s face was. “They would want you to be happy. I want you to be happy.” Starstep pressed himself into her. “Please, you must try to move on. For them. For me.” Starstep stopped crying and pushed himself back. When he raised his head, he looked like he had steeled himself for a fight.
“I... I will try. For you.” Luna smiled warmly and pulled Starstep back in. She nuzzled his face.
“Thank you.”
The two ponies sat in silence before the statue, content to be in each other’s presence.
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After Luna left, Ryan continued forward for a short time. He still had some daylight left, so he figured that he may as well use it. Soon, though, the sun fell, and Ryan had to stop. He shut off the car and stepped out of it for some fresh air.
He needed a good talk anyway.
“Please Ryan, don’t go through with this.” she pleaded. Ryan sighed, understanding her trepidation.
“I’m sorry, Nadine.” He turned back to the car and opened up the glove compartment. Inside it earlier, he had found a lighter and cigarettes. He looked at them as he re-exited the car. “I’ve got to. If not for me or you or your son or Catherine, I have to for all the others who have suffered..” The Woman stepped forward, setting her hand on Ryan’s shoulder.
“Even Luna doesn’t want you to do this, Ryan.” Ryan looked down at the cancerous little sticks in his hand. Shrugging, he pulled one out and lit it. He didn’t even get through his first puff before he coughed uncontrollably.
“Goddam, why would someone start this crap?” he thought, tossing away the cigarettes. He looked at The Woman. “She doesn’t understand, and she knows that. Why do you think she isn’t stopping me?” The Woman bit her lower lip and quickly turned around.
“Ryan,” she said, holding back tears. “I don’t want to see you die. No one does. Please, just go home. Get someone else to handle it.” Ryan took in a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh.
“I can’t risk it. If I go now, Narendra may go underground and never be found. It has to be me, or no one will.” The Woman turned and ran to Ryan, stopping just in front of him.
“No, you don’t know that!” She threw her arms around Ryan. “Why are you really doing this? Tell me; why?” Ryan removed her from himself as gently as he could, then looked into her eyes. They were overflowing with fear and sorrow.
“Because I need to. I just have to kill him. There is no why. There is no what or when. There is only the need to.”
The Woman stepped back, her jaw quivering from Ryan’s response. She looked into his eyes. In them, there was only anger and hate, sorrow and loss. Ryan wasn’t doing anything for anyone. Everything he had done, all that he desired, was for himself. Both of them knew it, but neither could say it. Ryan only cared for himself, but neither wanted to believe that. The Woman, shaky and almost bawling, looked woefully at Ryan.
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” Ryan opened the car door.
“Well, then, I guess that it’s a good thing that my intentions aren’t good.” He got in the car and tried to allow sleep to take him once more.
Discord figured that it was probably better to allow Harris some time to himself as he drove along. There were a lot of things that he had to work out, and while Discord could help, Harris would ultimately be better off if he answered his moral questions on his own. Discord’s words probably wouldn’t hold much say to Harris anyway. Instead, Discord flew high above Harris, keeping a watch out for anything dangerous. Where he was in the sky, he could still see the sun, but on the ground, it was dark. The headlights on Harris’ car were on, something that looked odd to Discord, even though he knew why they were on.
He thought about deeply about his own role in the events that had transpired since he arrived. He couldn’t argue that it was hugely his fault that the boys were suffering the way they were. He had many chances to just end it, but never took them, because he wanted the satisfaction and social justice of the boys, whom the crimes were committed against, killing Narendra. The feeling made him want to throw up; guilt was not something he had ever experienced before, nor did he want to ever again.
His mind drifted to the subject of Ryan’s revenge, Narendra. Thinking about him, Discord actually discovered something rather interesting; he had only ever seen Narendra twice, heard him speak once, yet he hated him enough to want him dead. He didn’t know anything about the man, but he knew enough that he would gladly watch him die. It was a strange thought; how one can hate something with a burning passion, yet know little or nothing about it. It was similar to the boys, really, mostly Ryan. He had had maybe two days of interaction with the man, yet he was hunting him down to kill him. Humans here were quite different from the ponies back home; they were much more easily attached to a goal and seemed more ambitious in achieving it.
Of course, he couldn’t make such a generalization about humans. Like ponies, they were probably all different. They just lived in a much more volatile world, and responded to it accordingly. He couldn’t say for sure if the ponies back home would do the same as Ryan. He knew that many would be more like Harris; sticking to their friends, through thick and thin, and more judicious in their decisions. Ryan was the opposite of his world; Ryan made whatever decisions furthered his goal, not particularly caring about collateral damage. of course, that wasn’t his fault. His experiences were powerful enough to alter his mind and his world outlook, and he hadn’t been the cause of those experiences.
So, it all came back to Discord. Discord was the cause of the experiences, at least indirectly. Discord allowed those experiences to take place, and still was, truthfully. While Narendra had been the cause, but Discord never even considered using his power to prevent the effect. Now, over thirty people were dead because of his inaction. The thought made Discord’s stomach shrink, barely capable of holding in its contents (which was just snacks that he had poofed up). He was the spirit of chaos; that didn’t mean he was evil. Mostly, he just wanted to have fun, in his own way. He never wanted to hurt anyone, but here he was, responsible for what was essentially a mass killing. Unable to keep flying, he floated back to the car and laid down on top of it. He didn’t feel like talking to Harris, not now. He just wanted to try to forget everything that went through his mind.
Inside the car, Harris was having similar thoughts. What had he done to prevent any of this? There were certainly a couple of moments where he could have lessened the problems, even a couple of moments where he could have gotten Ryan to go home. He never took the initiative, though. He, too, felt like he was partially responsible for some of the death and violence that followed after Ryan. He felt sick, but instead of stopping, he vomited into the seat next to him, slowing down the car. It came to a stop.
Ryan had changed so much. Before, Ryan was this nice guy, caring for his friends and even strangers. He always wanted what was best for the whole, not the individual. He loved joking, conversation, being with his loved ones, and loved challenges. Ryan was dead. In his place, there was a boy who would kill over thirty people to get what he wanted. He didn’t think about anything but achieving his one goal. He decided not to go home, to let his loved ones think he was dead. Ryan was gone; but Harris thought he could bring him back.
He stopped the car. it was dark, and odds were, Ryan was stopping right about now. Harris contactedDiscord. “Hey, Discord, is Ryan much farther ahead?” he asked. It took a moment for him to get an answer. “Not much farther.” That was all the response he got, but that was good enough for Harris. He leaned his seat back and allowed blissful sleep to take him into its loving embrace.