Chapter 6 – Maybe for the best
Rainbow was faster than you thought as you can now only follow in the direction of where she was flying. How far is this place!
After a few more moments you see a big building down the road with what looks like a cross on it. You’re panting hard now as you reach the building.
You compose yourself as best you can as you open the doors to the large building.
As you enter the building you’re overcome by the smells of disinfectant and medical equipment to your left is a reception desk and to your right seems to be a waiting area, but your eyes focus on the Rainbow mane in front of you. Your voice is dry as you talk, “Where is she?”
She seems a bit startled as she turns, “They took her back already.” She points to a hallway.
You don’t blink as you walk toward the hall.
As you get about halfway down the hall a feminine voice calls out from behind you, “Stop.”
You pause for a moment as a white mare with a white hat with a Red Cross emblem darts in front of you, “Earth ponies are not allowed down the unicorn wing.”
You snap at the comment, “Oh ya try and stop me.”
You push past her but she again cuts your path off, “No, it’s dangerous.”
You shift anxiously as you stop again, “Why?”
The mare speaks in a low voice, “You’re here for the mare that was just brought in right?”
You nod your head restlessly to her comment.
“…Well her horn is having some form of magical discharge and we can’t let any pony see her but the doctors until we find out what is causing it…it’s for your own safety incase it’s a bad spell.”
Your breathing is heavy as your thoughts over the last few weeks start to weigh heavy on you.
Rainbow comes up from behind you as she talks to the pony, “We will wait out here.”
Rainbow leads you back to the door as she talks, “They’ll let us back there soon.”
You silently nod as you try to contain your thoughts.
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Your hooves hurt as you continue to pace back and forth on the hard tile floor. Spike with his legs hugged by his arms as his eyes still half a watery shimmer to them.
Rainbow and Rarity both have a worried expression as the sun starts to set outside.
You have studied the tiles for most of the day, trying to fight the urge to let your worst thoughts get the better of you. Your head throbbing and pained hooves are meaningless as you continue to wait for somepony to tell you, you can see Twilight.
The sound of different hooves hitting the tile breaks your mind battle as your dry hard eyes look to the white nurse pony while she talks, “I’m sorry but you four have to go, visiting hours are no longer allowed.”
Rainbow stands from her seat with her wings flared out as she talks in a cranky tomboyish voice, “WHAT?! How is she?”
Spike clutches his legs tighter as everypony waits for her response, “I’m sorry only the doctor can talk about it.”
Rainbow exclaims in a high pitched voice, “You can’t say anything?!”
The nurse backs up a little at her tone, “Um, well she is up but thats all I can say.”
You swallow hard as you hang your head down to the ground, you struggle with a deep breath as you let that bit of good news calm you..
The nurse pony walks away as she finishes her comment.
Rarity help Spike to the door as he starts to tear up again, “We’re coming back tomorrow right?”
Rarity pats his head as she talks, “Of course, and tomorrow Twilight will be her old self again.”
You follow silently behind them as you leave the building.
As you leave the hospital grounds Rarity falls back to your side, “Spike is going to stay with me tonight…are you okay darling?”
You nod your head not really caring what she had to say.
She looks over your hard face as she talks again in a sweet voice, “We’re all worried, please don’t beat yourself up over it okay?”
You give another silent nod as you walk. She gives you a hug before her and Spike go the opposite way.
The cool dirt road feels nice on your worn hooves as you and Rainbow walk to the library. As the library comes into view you get a sick feeling in your stomach.
Rainbow nudges you as you walk, “Do you want me to stay tonight?”
You look at her soft pink eyes, you shake your head as look away.
Rainbow flaps her wings as she picks off the ground, “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow…try to get a good night's sleep.”
You nod to her comment as you continue down the path alone.
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The cold night air only fuels your feeling of loneliness as you near the darkened library.
You pause before you open the door to the house. As the door closes behind you, you stand looking around at the dark building… The quiet is almost screaming at you as you walk up the stairs.
As you near your bedroom you freeze at the threshold like as if there was a barrier holding you back. It’s a this moment you can no longer stay silent…you burst out a light sob as you lean on the doorway…”It’s always something...”
You study the wood of the ground as you talk to yourself, “Why in the fuck does something always happen!?” Your yell hits the empty walls but you continue to talk as if there was someone with an answer listing, “Does somepony have something against me or something!?”
You stop your yell as you realize what you said, you give a light laugh as you talk again, “I’m not even a pony.”
You look over your fur coat as you walk slowly to the bed, you whisper to yourself as you sit on the bed, with a laugh you continue, “Oh ya, I’m anything I want to be.” You rub your face as a few tears roll from your eyes. Your stomach and your head both pound as you pull the bed back to climb in, “Well you know what I want to be?! I want to be home.”
You settle in to the cold bed as your mind continues to race, the cold bed might as well be stone.
You sit up and again rub your restless eyes with your hooves. Your mind races with a question, why do I feel so shitty! You plop your head back on the pillow as you try to toss and turn to get comfortable…You know you’re not really tired you just don’t want to be up right now…you want what you use to have, the sweet release from the world you use to get from sleep that you have somehow lost…but you know this will be a sleepless night…Again you toss and turn trying to turn your mind off.
After a few wasted minutes you sit up in bed and look to the empty spot in your bed, it only just now dawns on you this is the first time you have slept alone in a long time…you stare at the empty bed, your mind and stomach finally settles on a thought, you look over the spot as you think, home...You swallow hard as you give a smile, I am home. You feel a bit of conflict in yourself as you stay on that thought so you try to convince yourself, “I am home.” Your stomach and mind start back up with an uneasy pain as you continue to fight against your thoughts, “I do like it here” You now realize your mind is fighting against your stomach as you settle on a thought, “I like it here...because I love you...” You whisper these heavy words to her spot as you lay your head back on the soft pillow.
You feel a warm tear roll from your face onto your snout as you finally allow yourself to accept this fact; you have known this for a long time but this is your first time you have been completely honest to yourself…and to her…and the worst part about it is that she’s not even here…Your moment of reprieve ends as you cling to that thought…she’s not even here. You hold your head to her spot in the bed, as you make a solid promise to yourself and to her, tomorrow, tomorrow you will finally admit it. You turn your stare to the ceiling, preparing yourself for your sleepless night of worry and hope.