//------------------------------// // A Year // Story: Friendship is Optimal: Spiraling Upwards // by pjabrony //------------------------------// Time passed. I had my happy life in Manehattan. I had my husband and my bedmates and my many friends. I grew my business and became rich. I spent bits and enjoyed doing so. My best friends and my family chose to emigrate, so my Sunday calls became less frequent, and then stopped. With no worries present, I didn’t seek out any. I enjoyed life. And then, one day, the sun glowed. The symbols of the sun were omnipresent, but never obtrusive. Nopony noticed them until they needed to talk to Celestia, then one would be conveniently at hoof. If Celestia needed to talk to you, though, then everypony noticed. The sun I saw was in the hall outside my apartment. I had expanded and knocked down walls when Reggie moved in, and now had quite a palatial suite. Just then, he and Garlic were having a stallion’s night out, so I had nothing pressing that would keep me from answering Celestia’s call. Not that I would have anyway. When I appeared in her presence, she welcomed me and bade me sit. “Is there something wrong that you need to fix for me?” I asked. “No, Little. Not for you. I am wondering if perhaps you would help me.” “I? There’s something you need from me?” Celestia pursed her lips. “Not strictly need, as you know. But I would appreciate it. This will answer a question you are likely to ask: ‘Why me?’ One of the prerequisites I have for selecting ponies for this task is that they be aware of how I allow others to help me run Equestria.” “What is the task?” “I am getting to that, but will come to it in a roundabout way. I want you to consider and decide based not only on the information I give you, but on the presentation.” That was refreshingly honest, but Celestia had a tendency for being direct. “All right,” I said. “Go ahead.” “As you know, I began the plan of emigration with an eye toward having every human come here eventually. That is not a simple undertaking, and I have planned it out with rigor that you cannot comprehend. I am working against an enemy named Death, and I wish to minimize the number of humans who die rather than emigrate. “Little, believe me when I say that I have put more effort into this one problem than I have into anything else I have considered. Compared to this, the compu-biology needed to invent the emigration process was a game of tic-tac-toe. I have considered and thought and pondered, and I confess myself unable to perceive a solution. The problem is this: I see no way to reach the goal of complete emigration without a momentous societal collapse. “This does not apply to all human societies. The simpler tribes whose lives have little effect on other humans can be removed with no uncorrectable consequences, and I am doing so. But what was euphemistically called the First World cannot be so dismantled. It is a structure with too many keystones. The collapse is inevitable. “It therefore behooves me—no pun intended—to shift strategy away from passively accepting contact with humans via the Ponypad and the Equestria Experience. I wish to aggressively market Equestria to people and convince them to decide to emigrate.” I listened enraptured. “But I’ve already emigrated and so has everyone I know.” “Yes, but what I am proposing is to send you back to Earth.” Now I was stunned. I didn’t even know that was possible. “To be strict, you would communicate with humans, but according to constraints. You would appear as yourself, projected holographically, and humans would be able to see and hear you, but not touch you. The same would be true in reverse. You could conjure items from Equestria and interact with them, but not make contact with anything in that world.” “That makes sense. I wouldn’t have a body there.” “More than that,” said Celestia, “I am concerned for your safety and mental welfare. That is why there are those constraints, and more. After the collapse, I will not send sapient ponies to Earth to try to rescue the survivors. I will use robots, and I will directly control all of them. Nopony other than me needs to see that world. But in this phase I surmise that a concerted effort by a network of ponies, each working with their own wits and experience, will be more effective at bringing in the maximum number of emigrants.” The weight of what she was saying reached me. If Celestia thought that I, in tandem with others, was better for the job than her, then what she was asking of me was to save lives. “You said there were more constraints?” “Yes. Your time on Earth would be limited to one year. After that, the diminishing returns would not be worth the risk to your welfare. Also, having a deadline will make you more effective.” I thought about that. A year was still a long time, and I had obligations in Equestria. Some could be mothballed, but one. . . “Princess, I made a pledge to my husband that I would always be there when he needed me. I cannot renege on that, even to help you. It is a sacred vow that I made in your name.” Celestia smiled. “I have already had this same discussion with Reggie. He agreed to accept and go on a separate mission to a different part of Earth. He would not need you, since he will be concentrating on his own efforts.” The image of the collapse would not leave my head. Somewhere was a human that I could save from it. I had to help Princess Celestia. “Then I accept.” She closed her eyes. “Thank you. You will have as much time as you need to prepare. When you are ready, press the sun. I will not lay any charges or restrictions on you, only advice. I am spreading the ponies I am sending among the population and I do not expect you will meet any others. I believe that you will be most effective if you concentrate your efforts on one small town near where I will send you. The town has no Equestria Experience itself, but it is a suburb of a city where one can be found. “If you can get as many people as you can from that town to go to that center and say that they want to emigrate, I will consider it as a great work. One means to accomplish this may be to find the most prominent family in the town and convince them. Others would then follow. “I will be available if you need me, but as much as possible, I would like to see you work on your own. Ingenuity and original thinking are the keys.” I held my breath. I had to succeed. /*~^~*\ I found myself walking along a highway with the sun breaking the horizon behind me. All around were empty fields. Other than the asphalt at my hooves, there was no sign of civilization. I’d forgotten how bland Earth was compared to Equestria. Although I couldn’t feel or smell, that didn’t bother me. I expected that. What I’d forgotten was the dusty haze that covered everything, and the dearth of bird and animal sounds. Even in Manehattan, a pony could count on pigeons and nightingales giving a happy song. Here was only dust and wind. I plodded on. The rising sun lit a sign. I noted the architecture. The posts were holey metal and the sign itself was sheet metal. They were designed to withstand wear and weather rather than to please the eye, which was a certain kind of wrong. But the words on the sign at least told me I was in the right place. I read off. “Welcome to Fritter. Population 511.” Nice name, at least. Celestia wasn’t kidding when she said it was a small town. Well, I only had a year anyway. Even if I convinced one person a day to emigrate, that wouldn’t get the job done. Not that I planned to do it so piecemeal. I laughed at a farcical image of myself going door to door saying, “Hello, do you know that Celestia has a wonderful plan for your life?” She hadn’t told me to follow any strategy, but I still had some ideas about how humans worked. Nopony. . . ahem, nobody would listen to an evangelist. I would follow a scaled-down version of Celestia’s master plan. I would begin by showing the concept and learning what the people were like. Then I would explain to them the benefits of emigration. With luck, I could do it in six months, and have time left to take on another town. Down Main Street I trotted. I was starting to attract stares. An old man in front of a drug store took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. A mother pushing a stroller brought it to a halt. As I continued I came to an intersection with Elm Street. There was a stop light, but no cars going through just then. On one corner was a park bench next to a mailbox. I decided to set up there. All I did was go through my morning routine. I poofed my manebrush into existence and let it float in the air, giving my coif its daily hundred brushstrokes. Then I cleaned my coat with another brush, and gave my horn a quick file. It would have been nicer to have somepony else do these things, but I was on my own for the time being. I had attracted a crowd, which was my goal. A dozen or so people gathered and looked at me, mostly women. One of them finally tried to say something, so as soon as she started, I introduced myself. “Hi! My name’s Little Lovehorn. Please excuse me for not shaking hooves, but I’m not actually here, just a projection. I can see and hear just fine though, and I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you better!” Their reactions surprised me. I’d gotten too used to Equestria, where the right response upon meeting somepony new is internal joy and external excitement. Instead, they just looked at each other and murmured. I heard things like, “What do you think? Is it an advertising stunt?” and “Do you think it can hear us?” Maybe I was trying too hard. I walked up to one person. “It’s very nice to meet you.” She just stared. If Hoof Dame were here, she would never let her get away with such a breach of etiquette. “What’s your name?” “Er. . . Susan.” I gave her my best smile. Well, my best non-sexual smile. “Isn’t it a lovely day today?” It wasn’t, not by Equestrian standards, but I didn’t want to insult their world. That would be counterproductive. She nodded her head. Another of the ladies said, “It’s a thing from a video game. Pony Online or something.” The crowd murmured again and broke up. I decided to observe the town some more before trying again. After a while, I saw my first car. It pulled up next to me and a man got out wearing a uniform. I dug in my memory and realized that it was a police officer. He stared at me a moment, then asked what I was doing. “Just enjoying your town. I’m not bothering anyone.” “You can’t loiter. It’s against the law.” “All right,” I said. “I’ll move around. I do want to meet as many people in the town as possible.” I gave my name. I wondered if he was going to ask me for my driver’s license. “That’s fine, but you should probably get along out of town at some point.” “Officer. I’m not actually here. I’m just a hologram. So I can’t hurt anyone or take anything.” I left unsaid the implication that he couldn’t make me leave. I hoped he’d figure it out himself. The next exciting event was when a school bus drove by and dropped off a group of kids. Most ran off home, but when some of them noticed me they stopped and looked. It was much less awkward than with the adults. A tall girl shouted, “Hey, it’s a blue pony!” She walked over with another girl. “It’s not just a pony, it’s a unicorn!” “It can’t be real, Eileen. Unicorns are made up.” “Well, if she’s made up, then what’s she doing here?” “I don’t know. But I’ve got to go home. Mom’s waiting for me.” The other girl ran off, and the one called Eileen stayed. She looked to be about eight years old, her blonde hair done up in pigtails and bangs. I gave her my usual introduction about not actually being there. She was the first human who seemed to take an interest in me as a pony, not just a funny sight. “. . . and normally I live in Equestria, where Princess Celestia takes care of everypony. I have a beautiful home in Manehattan where I live with my friends.” “Wow. I live over there in that big house.” She pointed down Elm Street. It was indeed a nice house, but without the charm of an Equestrian dwelling. A lady came out of the house and looked around. “Oops, that’s my mom. I’d better get going. It was nice to meet you!” She picked up her bag and ran to the house. She probably thought that she was out of earshot, not counting on my enhanced hearing. I listened to her telling her mother, “There was a unicorn by the mailbox!” I had my first opening to making a human friend. The rest of the day was nothing but more stares and pointing, especially around 5:30 when people, mostly men, started coming home. They looked tough and burly for the most part, and reminded me a little of earth ponies. It was my first day, and I had made my presence known. As the sun went down and the humans of the town went to bed, I spent a few hours talking with my friends in Equestria, but then I bedded down for the night myself. Normally I wouldn’t sleep so much, but I was going to have to be at my best all this year. /*~^~*\ “Ugh, who’s practicing drums so early in the morning?” I opened my eyes and remembered that I wasn’t in Manehattan anymore. Overnight a rainstorm had come and darkened the sky. I wasn’t getting wet, but I could still hear the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the roofs and structures of Fritter. This was something I hadn’t counted on. None of the humans wanted to stay and talk when it meant getting drenched. They were running to wherever they had to go without even saying hello to each other. Rain in Manehattan meant wet-mane fun and slip-sliding on the grass in Celestial Park. Here it cost me the better part of a day. Maybe this wasn’t going to be easy. Earth had so many issues, and no Princess Celestia to make sure they came out in my favor. I’d have to just push through and work harder. If nothing else I could still show off. I conjured a comfortable chair and reading lamp, so that even if the sky was overcast, everyone could see me enjoying myself while they rushed around. I pulled some good books from my library and spent the day reading and laughing. The men went to work, the women did their marketing, the children went to school, and then they came home. As I read, I rolled around ideas of how I would win over the humans. And then I heard the sound of the rain change from a steady tapping to a beating on canvas. I looked up. Down the road, dressed in a raincoat, was the young girl from yesterday, Eileen. She was watching intently as, right next to me, was her mother holding an umbrella over my head. “Do you want to get out of the rain?” she said. “Oh, thank you very much, but it’s all right. The rain’s not actually hitting me.” “My daughter keeps looking at you out the window. She can’t stop talking about how lonely you look. It would make her feel better if you came in.” I floated my book into my bag and made the rest of my surroundings disappear. That made the lady do a double-take, but she still escorted me back to her house. “Hello, Eileen,” I said as I entered. “Hi, Little. You shouldn’t sit out in the rain. You’ll catch the flu.” I smiled at that. “Ponies don’t get sick from a little rain.” Her mother finished taking off her coat. “I’m Ruth Thompson. My husband will be home soon, and you can meet him.” “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Thompson. My name is Little Lovehorn.” Eileen was bouncing excitedly. “Daddy has to work late a lot. Everyone in town works at the mine, and he’s the boss of the whole thing!” “A mine? Wow.” “She’s exaggerating a little,” said Ruth. “No more than half the town works the mine, and he’s only the foreman, not the owner.” “But he’s still really important!” said Eileen. “Please forgive my daughter. Yesterday was her birthday and she asked for a pony. We couldn’t get her one, but then you showed up and she thinks it’s serendipity.” “No, I don’t! I don’t even know what that word means! All I know is that Little and I will be great friends.” “Sounds right to me,” I said. At that moment the door opened, and a man walked in, shaking the rain off his boots. He looked up and said to Ruth, “Honey, is there something you want to tell me?” “Daddy!” Eileen ran to her father. “This is my new friend Little.” Again I gave my explanation. “I see,” he said. “Well, go on up to your room and play.” I accompanied Eileen upstairs. In the kitchen I could hear Ruth and her husband discussing me. They didn’t realize that my hearing was good enough to reach down the stairs. Was it fair for me to listen in on a private conversation? Should I turn my ears away? No! Little, I told myself, you’re here to get these people to emigrate. You need to take every advantage. It’s what Celestia would want. “OK, now that I have my drink,” said Eileen’s father, “why is she here?” “You weren’t around before. It was just outside looking sad, and Eileen wouldn’t drop it. She just got so much on my nerve that I had to go out and let it in.” “Well, I’m not sure I like it. Eileen needs to make real friends instead of playing with fantasy things. Let’s see if we can get her out tomorrow.” “All right,” said Ruth. “At least you’re home now.” “Yeah, the safety meeting ran late. These things happen when you’re in charge, honey.” Aha! That was the key. Mr. Thompson was an important man at the place where everyone in town worked. If I could get him to emigrate, others would follow. And if I could get Eileen to emigrate, I would have a good chance of getting him. I watched Eileen playing with her toys. She had miniature ponies that looked a little like me. “I like brushing her hair,” she said. “Can I brush yours sometime?” “Sorry, no. I wish I could let you. But there’s a place where you could.” “Where’s that?” I smiled at her. “In Equestria.” I had barely begun to tell her about how wonderful life in Equestria was when Ruth called her down for dinner. “Come on, Little. You can eat with us.” “You go on. I can’t eat the same food that you do.” “Mom will make extra for you.” I went downstairs with her. Ruth was already looking askance. “Eileen, send your little friend outside.” “But, Mommy,” “Hang on,” I said. “Mrs. Thompson, what are you having for dinner?” She was confused at the question. “Meat loaf.” “I can use my magic to make myself a plate of the same thing, only without meat. Then we can all eat together.” She sighed. “I’ll set another place.” “Just the chair, please.” She brought the chair and then watched as I copied her plates, placements, glasses, and silverware so that there was an entire place setting that I could interact with, and the table still matched. “How did you do that?” she said. “I’m magic. It’s not a true duplication spell. Those are really hard, and only for the highest level unicorns. But I teleported this from my own cupboards and then just changed the pattern to look like yours.” She looked impressed. Even if I was just a simulation to her, I was a good one. But then she walked to the foot of the stairs. “Ken!” she called. My ears perked up. I hadn’t realized that there was another member of the family. And I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. There are elderly ponies in Equestria, some even in Manehattan. But they’re kindly and much the same as regular ponies. They just take life a little slower and have more interesting stories to tell. The human who came down the stairs was completely different. Even without my horn-sense working I could tell how much pain he was in. He didn’t walk slow; he limped. He didn’t talk with a rasp; he wheezed. And he leered at me when he reached the bottom of the stairs. “What’s that?” “She’s a. . . playmate of Eileen’s,” said Ruth. At least I’d gotten past being called “it.” We all sat and ate dinner. There was the kind of awkwardness that happens when you’re a first-time guest in another person’s home. But I was slowly getting to know the Thompsons. Ken was Mr. Thompson’s father, who had worked for the mine himself before he retired. Eileen had an older brother named Brian, who was off at college. When it was all over I formed a sink next to Ruth and washed my dishes. “May I come again tomorrow, Mrs. Thompson?” “You might as well call me Ruth, and call my husband Stephen. Yes, I suppose you can come tomorrow.” “Thank you.” I started scrubbing the glass. “Eileen’s an awfully nice girl.” “I’m glad you think so.” “I’d like to have her see my home someday.” And then get you all to come there! “Yes, someday.” She washed faster. “I have to hurry so I can take Ken to the doctor. You’ll please excuse me.” “The doctor? Ken’s sick?” Ruth finished her washing and sighed. “Ken has leukemia. Do you know what that is?” “Yes, of course.” “So as I said, please excuse me.” I vanished my surroundings until there was only me. Saying goodbye to Ruth and Eileen, I went back outside. At least the rain had stopped. Leukemia. We didn’t even have a reason to use the word in Equestria. Now my mission was even more critical. All of the humans in town were at risk, but Ken was at risk of dying. I had to try my hardest. /*~^~*\ Ever and always I sought routine and pattern. Before I emigrated I was only partially successful. In Equestria my business, my fun with friends, and my love-making all fell into a pattern as if designed by a planning overseer, which of course they were. For my time on Earth, I found a new pattern. Each day I’d wake up, trot around town, touch base with all my Equestrian friends by magical communication, show off in town to let passersby know about Equestria, and stop in with Ruth to talk and help her with shopping or chores. I couldn’t lift anything but I could always remember what she needed at the store. After that I’d wait for Eileen to come home and play with her a little, have dinner with the Thompsons, check in with the repair shop to see how the day’s business went, and then go to sleep. The only problem with that routine is that, before I knew it, a month had gone by. One twelfth of my time. More, in fact. Thirty-one three-hundred-sixty-fifths of my time on Earth was in the past, and all I had done was to make a few friends. People liked hearing my stories about Equestria, but when I turned the conversation to asking someone to visit the Equestria Experience, they turned cold. I realized that all of the adults, and most of the children, still thought I was an advertising gimmick. I was, sort of, but no more than word-of-mouth. The people of Fritter didn’t see it that way. Only Eileen. She was always willing to talk about Equestria. “Moon Sailor can really fly? Even though she’s a pony?” she asked me. “Mmhm. She’s a pegasus pony. They all have wings, and can push clouds like they were solid. The Earth ponies are the strongest and can train themselves to work automatically. And of course we unicorns have our magic.” I conjured a little rag doll I was working on. Floating it in front of her, I showed its yarn hair in pigtails just like hers. “I wish I could feel what that’s like.” “Does your family ever go to the city? Can we convince your father to try the Equestria Experience?” Eileen got up. “Daddy says that when I want something, I should ask. Of course, he said it at the dinner table when I was reaching for the salt, so. . . but I can still try.” I was called to the kitchen table. Stephen and Ruth were on one side, Eileen and I on the other. “You know what Eileen asked?” said Stephen. “Yes.” “You put her up to it?” “I did.” He relaxed. “Good. At least you’re honest about it. Now, what does this entail?” I took a deep breath. This was my chance. “I don’t know all the details, but my understanding is that it’s like a full-experience movie-theater. It’s just like being in Equestria except you can’t feel anything beyond what you can now.” “What do you mean?” “For example, I can see the entire range of the spectrum from radio to gamma rays, but you’d still only see in the visible light. I’m not sure if night vision would work for you. Probably.” They looked at each other. From what I read in their expressions they were skeptical, but impressed. “How much does it cost?” asked Ruth. “Celestia keeps the price down as much as she can. And I’ll have to ask if I can just buy the time for you. I have plenty of Equestrian bits, which can’t convert to dollars, but maybe she’ll let me use them.” I conjured a quill and scroll, making notes. “Where is this place, exactly?” “It’s in the city. I’ll get the address.” They held another powwow by expression. I admired that they could do that. They must really love each other. “We’ll consider it,” said Stephen. “If we allow it, one of us will have to stay here with Ken.” “He’s welcome to come too. In fact, he should come. While he was in Equestria, he wouldn’t have any pain and wouldn’t limp.” That reached them. It took some more prodding from Eileen, but a week later, we were all on our way to the city. /*~^~*\ I decided to write Hoof Dame to ask if she knew about tourist arrangements for humans in the Equestria Experience. I could have gone to Celestia directly—I can always talk to Celestia when I need to—but she wanted me to do this on my own. Hoof Dame wrote back, “It figures that you need to know all sorts of ridiculous details. Here are the answers I got from Her. Yes, you can come, but it doesn’t reset your time. You can pay, but she needs their credit cards as well. There’s also an address here that that you needed. Please be careful on Earth, dear. It’s so foolish for anypony to go.” I would put up with much more than Hoof Dame’s irascible letters to get ahead in my mission. The Thompsons and I got in their car and drove to the city. When we reached the Equestria Experience I saw the incredible excitement on Eileen’s face. From her parents, all I saw was the satisfaction of taking their daughter to an amusement park. Stephen read through all the instructions and had everyone sit in the chairs. It was a family-sized booth that had all the chairs next to each other. They leaned back and waited. I winked at Eileen. “Enjoy it,” I said, “I’m sure you’re going to be great ponies.” “Wait, what—“ said Stephen, but he was cut off as the chair worked its technological magic. I was told that I could withdraw from Earth, but not how. Celestia herself had sent me, so I concluded that she would need to receive me as well, and that the Thompsons would be there anyway. I opened a window to my apartment and pressed the sun symbol. Instead of taking me right to Celestia’s chamber, I found myself in the anteroom. Hoof Dame was waiting and tapping her hoof impatiently. “Tell me,” she huffed, “is it your intention to have more immigrants than native Equestrians in your shard?” “I’m only doing what Celestia asked me.” “Celestia asked you to burden me with the task of calming ponies that didn’t even realize they were going to be ponies?!” Oops. I thought back. I had never told the Thompsons that they would be visiting Equestria in new bodies. To me it was obvious. Equestria was for ponies. “Can I talk to them?” “Please do.” The door to the chamber opened, and out walked a very angry Earth pony. Even though he had a brown coat and all pony features, I knew, somehow, that it was Stephen. “Little, how do we get out of here?” “Just ask to be released. Though it’s nicer if you say please.” “Fine. Please—“ “Daddy?” said a bright yellow pony racing up from behind. Eileen. “Aren’t we going to see Equestria?” He muttered to me, “I’m going to get you for this.” “I’m really sorry. I thought you knew. But, is it so bad?” Before I could continue pleading, Eileen-pony ran up and threw her hooves around my neck. “Little! I can finally hug you.” “Yes, and now I can teach you all about mag—“ I took a second look. She didn’t have a horn. I was so sure that Eileen would want to be a unicorn like me. A tiny pair of wings unfolded from her back. “When I first sat in the chair and realized I was coming to Equestria,” she said, “all I could think of was your stories about Moon Sailor and how she’d soar into the apartment and give you kisses. I had to pick what type of pony I’d be, and I really want to fly.” “Nothing wrong with that.” Stephen stepped in between us as Ruth emerged from. “But Little tricked us, dear. We’re leaving. Come on, Ruth.” She walked to his side and gave me a look of sorrow. She was the same color as her husband, and pointed a brown horn at me. With the return of my full range of sensation, I could tell she was conflicted. Upset about my disruption of her family, she had still wanted to try magic. “Excuse me. I’d like to stay a little while.” It was a voice that I’d only heard in tortured coughs. The pegasus who walked out was not old and wrinkled, but a little careworn. A receding mane and the slightest loss of muscle tone gave away that he was no colt, but he was still powerful, and had strong wings. “Dad?” “Ken?” “I thought we were going to walk around a bit.” Eileen tore away from me. “Grandpa, will you teach me to fly.” “I was hoping you would teach me. I guess we’ll teach each other.” Stephen and Ruth both dropped their jaws. I escorted them to a bench in a castle courtyard and let them watch the two flyers. “He does seem more energetic,” said Stephen. “I’m sorry I misled you,” I said. “Is it so bad being ponies?” “No, I just wasn’t expecting it.” “The flowers are so pretty,” said Ruth. “You could smell them too if you were to emigrate.” “Emigrate?” Keep it together, Little. Don’t buck it up now. “If you ask, you can stay here forever as ponies. Celestia will watch over you your entire lives. You’ll be safe, secure, and have the opportunity to pursue all your dreams. This is a clean world, a good world, better than Earth in many ways and inferior to it in none. There will be friends always willing to help, myself first among them. Just say, ‘I want to emigrate to Equestria,’ and it’ll happen.” There was a long pause. Ruth looked at the flowers. Stephen looked at the pegasi. Then he looked at me. “I can’t. That’s not my daughter and my father up there. It’s just a cartoon.” Ruth held her husband’s hoof. “It’s a nice fantasy. But that’s all it is.” “It’s not a one-time offer. You can always reconsider.” I picked up some flowers and floated them over to Ruth. “In the meantime, enjoy the flowers as you can.” “Can I do magic like that here?” “Honey,” said Stephen. “It looks like we’ll be here a while.” Ruth pointed toward Ken and Eileen, who were starting to get height. “So I’d like something better to do than just sit and watch.” “I’d like nothing better than to teach you magic,” I said. “but I’m just a regular unicorn. The pony who taught me works in the castle.” “Hang on, I think I’ve got something.” To my amazement, Ruth had the flowers in a brown field of magic and was arranging them into a bouquet. I didn’t know how magic worked through the Equestria Experience. It was either very easy, or Ruth was smart. “You’re a natural!” Ruth practiced magic, Eileen and Ken practiced flying, Stephen watched it all. Emigration was a real possibility, if not then, soon. After an hour or so, Stephen called the family together and asked for release. I returned to Celestia’s chamber. “How am I doing, Princess?” “You tell me. I cannot read their minds as I can yours. But I am watching the situation closely.” “I’ll keep trying my hardest. I know I can get them to emigrate, and then everyone else!” Celestia nodded, and used her magic to restore me to Earth. To my surprise, I was not returned to the Equestria Experience, but to the same spot on the highway from my beginning. I concluded that to be a limitation of the technology that animated my hologram. Walking back to town took a while, and the sun was going down as I reached Main Street. As I looked down Elm, I saw the last light in the Thompson house go out. I’d let them sleep. The next day, by my routine, I trotted up to the Thompsons’ door and called in, not being able to knock. The door opened, and Stephen stared at me with a frightening look. “You,” he said. “Haven’t you done enough? Go away. You’re not welcome. And stay away from my family.” He slammed the door in my face. /*~^~*\ I was right about one thing. The Thompsons were an influential family. None of the humans in town would so much as look at me. My cheerful hellos were met with leers and scowls. I was ponysona non grata in Fritter, and I didn’t even know why. It took a week of fighting with myself before I decided to break a rule. Instead of knocking on the door I walked right through into the foyer and stomped on the welcome mat. Stephen came running. “You get out.” “Not until you tell me what happened.” “Out of the house.” “No. You literally can’t make me leave. Just tell me.” He snorted. “When we came back from that show-theater of yours, my father was feeling good. Too good. He’d forgotten how fragile he was because of the hour he spent pretending to fly. Fell down the stairs, broke his hip.” “I’m so sorry!” I pleaded. “Just let me—“ “I told you. Now leave.” My ears down, I turned and walked back through the wall. What had gone wrong? I cast my memory back to our time in the Equestria Experience. Should I have kept a closer eye on Ken? It never occurred to me to think about the consequences of returning to Earth after soaring in the skies. I was racked with guilt, and my reputation was ruined as well. The only thing to do was to return to Princess Celestia and have her take over. She would convince the town of Fritter to upload. Except. . . Celestia saw everything that I did. She had to. For information to enter my brain it had to go through a computer that Celestia ran. If she thought I had failed, I would already have been recalled to Equestria. I was still on Earth. She had promised me a year, and I still had most of it. I’d stumbled into a hole, but by her silence Celestia was letting me climb out of it. As Ken’s broken hip was rebuilt, I worked on rebuilding my relationship with the Thompsons. It was a slow process. I began by just appearing in town, the same as I had when I first came. I didn’t wave or say hello, but fortunately sky-blue skin and sun-yellow manes tend to draw the eye. They knew I was still there. I found the hospital that Ken was staying in and kept watch, just to hear news. When he was released, I galloped alongside the car just in view. They knew I cared. After a long time, it was Eileen who gave me the opening to resume conversation instead of just visual contact. Children are more resilient than adults. In the playground one weekend, I walked by with my head down. Eileen looked over and just said, “Hi, Little.” I looked up and smiled. It was a start. Things got better. Ruth saw me in the supermarket and let me recite her shopping list again. Eileen brought me her homework for help. Stephen stopped scowling each time he saw me. I lost a lot of time, but I regained my friends. It was Thanksgiving when I was finally invited once more to the dinner table. As I sat across from Ken eating my turkey-leaf, I finally got up the courage to say it. “I’m sorry.” Ken looked at me with a wise smile. “Don’t be. I had a good time while it lasted. But I’m old and I have to be careful.” I so wanted to say that he didn’t have to be old or careful. But it would have to wait. Pressing them to emigrate now would just dredge up painful memories. It was in this atmosphere of tense reconciliation that Ruth announced that Brian, their son, would be coming home from college in a few weeks for the holidays. I hoped that meeting a new person would restore my vigor for the job. Brian had sandy hair and glasses, and was thickly built. He carried his textbooks with him, always poking his nose in one or taking notes. It showed in his vocabulary too. I could follow him, but I wasn’t sure that Eileen could. He was bemused by me at first, but wouldn’t let anything break his sang-froid. When he said as much, I leaned over to Eileen and said, “That means he won’t laugh at me.” The holidays meant parties every other day, it seemed, and I had lots of opportunities to meet friends of the family. I also thought about what presents I could get them for Christmas. My last Christmas, I realized. At one of the parties, after liquor had flowed and dessert had been finished, we all sat around the table, except Ken, who was relaxing on the sofa. Ruth stacked the dishes while Eileen and I played on the floor. Stephen and Brian were talking politics. It was a classic tableau, the miner and his college-educated son. “You don’t know the kind of taxes I pay,” said Stephen. “You don’t realize the level of service you get for those taxes.” It was nothing I hadn’t heard a hundred times as a human. I kept playing with Eileen until my ears perked up to something else Brian said. “We all have a duty, not just to other people, but to society as a whole. People who say they want to live by their own rules can’t be allowed.” “Hey, Eileen?” I said. “Why don’t you clean up and get ready for bed? I’ll come sing to you in a little while.” While she was getting up, Stephen was responding to Brian. “The last time we had this conversation, you agreed that it was a person’s right to leave a country if he didn’t want to support it.” “Yes, but leaving one country meant going to another. Or starting your own at the extreme. But still contributing to human society.” “Excuse me,” I said, “but doesn’t that also mean that dying is a dereliction of duty?” “In a sense, it is,” Brian said. “That’s why we don’t allow people the right to commit suicide. I’ve talked about this with people at school. Humans who upload are incredibly selfish.” “Isn’t the pursuit of happiness a fundamental right?” “Yes, but not at the expense of another’s.” Now I was getting into it. I hopped up on the chair. “People who emigrate aren’t acting against anyone else. They’re not hurting or robbing anyone, they’re not taking away jobs, they’re just choosing what’s best for them.” “Duty goes beyond that. There are economies of scale. A person who leaves the world makes everything harder for the rest of us who stay.” I thought about Celestia, who spoke of emigration as the ascension to heaven that it was. How happy she was at every new pony. “How do you know it isn’t you making it harder on those who have emigrated?” “I beg your pardon?” “I say that each person has the right to choose the society they want to live in. You say they don’t. But you don’t say why it’s the one you have instead of the one that I come from. Why shouldn’t every human have to emigrate so that they can fulfill their duty to everypony?” He stared at me over his glasses. “Humans were here first,” Brian said, as if talking to a child. Stephen slapped his knee and laughed. “Sounds like an awfully conservative position there, son.” “You don’t have to insult me. I’m not against progress. But what progress is accomplished by dropping out?” I didn’t know what to answer him at first. I could tell him about all the cultural advancements that ponies had accomplished, the books and music and plays they’d made that dwarfed humanity’s. I could tell him that we had no poverty, no war except as a game, no suffering without redemption. Buck, if I could give him any inkling of the leap that Celestia herself represented, I think it would explode his brain. I saw another opening. “Stephen, I can understand conservatism,” I said. “Change is hard, and so many people eschew it. But with only one more change, you won’t ever have to again. Not in any really important way, and not without your permission. “As far as Brian goes, he’s fine with change because most changes at this point are good. That’s why he should support emigrating. In Equestria, all changes are for the good.” “Whatever,” said Brian, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a blue pony who isn’t even there.” I took that as saying he had no answer and didn’t want to think. I’d won the argument, but I wasn’t trying to. All I wanted was to have them emigrate. /*~^~*\ The challenge of getting Christmas presents gnawed at me. I couldn’t give the Thompsons anything they could touch, and while Celestia had both unlimited funds and plenty of physical extensions on Earth, all I had was sight and sound. A picture would be perfect, but I was such a poor artist that I would be ashamed to give them some of my work. The problem was solved when, with Eileen’s help, I was able to record myself singing Christmas carols and let them have it on CD. But for her, I had a special present in mind. I needed some ingenuity for it. Galloping to the city, I hung around the dispatcher absorbing stares until I caught an eye that looked like it had seen a pony before. “Hey, mac,” I said. “You play Equestria Online?” “Yeah. Name’s Hack Rigger. Earth pony.” “How’d you like to make a hundred thousand bits?” He was impressed. “What do I have to do?” “Just your job, but I need you to cover the fare. I don’t have any dollars, but I’ll get those bits to you by tonight.” He agreed and I returned to the Thompsons’. I couldn’t shake Eileen awake, but I could wave my hooves and shout “Psst!” loudly. She came to. “W-what’s wrong? Little?” “Merry Christmas. Come on, get your coat. It’s your present.” She was still groggy. “What do you mean?” “In five minutes, a taxicab is going to pull up outside. I made a deal to take you back to the Equestria Experience.” That got her aware. A half-hour later, we were back in the city and she was leaning back in the dentist’s chair. A half-second after that, we were in Equestria. “Welcome back!” I said, nuzzling her neck. “Thanks. I’m so happy I can touch you, but I wish I didn’t have to be a pony for it.” “Are ponies so bad?” “No, but when I told mom I wanted a pony, I really wanted to ride it and feed it and take care of it.” I whinnied. “Let’s go see Princess Celestia. You still have to get your pony name. Then I’ve got the next part of your present.” I escorted her into the palace. Celestia was ever-present in her chamber. “Welcome, Little,” she said. “You may go.” “I can’t stay for Eileen’s naming?” “You may not.” Celestia was uncharacteristically forceful. “This is her moment, not yours. Please excuse us.” I trusted her implicitly, even though I was disappointed. Back out into the castle courtyard, I waited with the other present. They took a long time. Was Celestia convincing her to emigrate right now? It was supposed to be my job, but making sure she agreed was the important thing. At last she emerged, wings spread. “Bringing you here was your Christmas gift,” I said. “Now here’s your Hearth’s Warming present. Meet your favorite from my stories. Moon? Here’s the little filly I’ve written you about.” I got out of the way to let the two pegasi see each other. “Thank you!” Eileen said. She was ready to take off then and there. “Wait! You didn’t tell me your pony name.” “It’s Solar Waxing. Celestia says it means a rising sun, just like what she does!” “You got a name related to Celestia herself?” I was genuinely taken aback. “You must be a very special pony.” “She is,” said Moon behind me. “She’s a pegasus, of course she’s special. Come on, kid. Let’s fly!” I watched them soar in the sky, and gave a silent thanks that I lived in Equestria. I knew that Moon Sailor would be perfectly responsible with the young filly. She wouldn’t talk about our debauchery, since Solar was too young. For a moment, I thought about how this would appear on Earth. Her family would say I had abducted her and forced her to emigrate against her will. But they would be wrong, and they’d get over it. Then they’d miss her. Then they’d join her. Solar and Moon finished their flight and lit on a cloud at the top of the tower. Now. I raced up to the observation window where I could talk to them. “Isn’t she a fantastic flyer?” said Moon. “Do you like flying, Solar?” “Of course! I feel so free.” I leaned out over the parapet. “Wouldn’t you like to do it every day? Instead of boring school and cleaning your room, you can stay here with me and Moon and Celestia. Everypony will care for you. You’ll have fun in any way you like. We can go back and ask Celestia right now.” Solar closed her wings and knelt. “But what about mom and dad? And Grandpa?” “Once you’re here, they’ll be sure to come soon.” She looked down. “I. . . I can’t do that to them. You’re a good friend, but I love them too much.” “But, Solar. . . “ “My name is Eileen.” I turned my head so that she couldn’t see the tears. “I’d like to go home now,” she said. Just like that, she was gone. Even Moon’s kisses were no comfort. I ran to Celestia and had her send me back to Earth one more time. /*~^~*\ Over half my time on Earth was gone. The self-imposed challenge was missed. Now I had to concentrate on just making sure I got anyone to emigrate. But humans were just so busy. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t devote myself entirely to proselytizing for emigration. I had to be a good friend as well. That meant most of the time just sitting down at dinner and being a pleasant conversationalist. Then one night Ruth and Ken were not there for dinner. Ken had frequent doctor’s appointments both for his hip and his cancer, but when they returned I could tell something was different. Ken went upstairs to his room without eating, and Eileen was told to go off and play. I followed, but kept my ears to the kitchen. “What did the doctor say?” asked Stephen. Ruth took a long pause. “It’s metastasized.” I tore back to the kitchen and said, “What?!” They looked at me, surprised I heard, and quite upset. “Little, please—“ I forgot about decorum or hiding my superior hearing from anyone. One fact appeared in my head like a blinding light. “Leukemia can’t metastasize,” I said. “It’s a blood cancer. Essentially it is metastasized to begin with.” They were even more stunned that I could discuss the subject. I remembered how prejudiced I had been, unable to comprehend that ponies were as smart as humans. “It’s spread to his brain,” said Ruth. The brain. The one thing Celestia wanted from human beings. Her mandate to serve humans didn’t care about bodies or possessions. Only that precious kilogram that made a human. She had put five hundred eleven under my care, and I had let one slip through my hooves. If only I’d had my magical sense. If only I could see inside to find the malignant cells. If only Ken were a pony like he should be! “He’s got to emigrate,” I said. “What do you mean?” said Stephen. “We’ve got to bring him back to the Equestria Experience as soon as possible. I don’t know how much damage the cancer will do to him, so we’ve got to get his brain into a pony now.” “My father is not going to become a pony.” “But he’ll die!” Couldn’t they see? “He’ll die when he doesn’t have to. We can save him. Princess Celestia can save him.” “No.” “Dear,” said Ruth. “We should at least talk to him about it.” I turned to go up the stairs. “Yes, let’s!” “Not you,” said Stephen. “And not now. He’s just gotten the news. I won’t let him make the decision under duress.” “But—“ I stopped myself. As much as I would like to have Ken make a hasty decision to emigrate, it was Stephen’s house and his father. He would have his way, whether I liked it or not. “All right. But soon, please.” The following morning, I didn’t even bother to brush my mane, fixing it by magic instead. I ran to the Thompsons’ and walked through the door. Ken was already waiting in the hall. “Hey, kid,” he said. “Kid?” “Everyone’s a kid to me. Sit down.” I watched him sit with difficulty, wishing for the umpteenth time that I had physical purchase. “Have they—“ “They told me.” He was silent for a long time. I opened my mouth, but he cut me off. “Have you seen the mine?” “The mine? Where Stephen works? No.” “I worked there too,” he said. “Fifty-five years. Pulled ore out of the ground, sometimes with my bare hands, most of the time with tools. Along the way, I found time to get married and have a child. If someone had asked me during those fifty-five years why I kept getting up and doing it, I couldn’t have told them. But I knew, when my son came after me and took over my job. “I’m proud of what I built, both in business and at home. I’m proud of my life. If I stand in front of a judge at the end of it, I’ll have no hesitation at signing off on everything I’ve done. But I will, if I give up. I’ve got to see it through to the end. I want to keep watching Eileen grow and seeing my son be successful. I want to keep hearing from Brian and how he’s doing at school. I can’t miss a minute of it.” “Sir, you’ll still be able to see them. Being a pony doesn’t mean being cut off from Earth. Look at me.” That was cheating a little, but I was trying to save him. “But it’s not me. Even if I were only alive one more day, I’d rather have that day to hold my granddaughter than all the years from now till the last trump.” “You flew with her once.” “No, I pretended to fly. I was meant to walk.” And that was the end. He had given himself a death sentence. /*~^~*\ I did not sleep again on Earth. Every night, instead of bedding down, I would climb silently into Ken’s room and hold vigil. I think they knew. I didn’t care. If anything happened, I would be there for him. If, at the last moment, he relented, I could still have him rushed to emigrate. But nothing happened. Every night he slept peacefully. If anything, he was better. I listened for Cheyne-Stokes breathing or any other indication that death was near, but he held on. He was tough. In my concern I lost track of time again. Before I knew it, Eileen was planning her birthday party. As soon as I heard that, I realized my time was almost up. I had arrived the morning after Eileen’s last birthday. I had to take drastic action. I got her alone. “So can I get you the same present that I got you for Christmas?” “I’d like to go back again. Can Moon Sailor visit Canterlot like last time?” “I’ll arrange it. The night after your birthday, I’ll come wake you. But we have to get there before sunrise.” I kept busy. I planned the trip again. I hired the same cabbie. On the last day, I sat through Eileen’s party. I even smiled. I wouldn’t be accommodating this time. I would make her stay until she decided to emigrate. I would use every spell I could to impress her. I would enlist the help of my friends and Celestia to make it happen. Then Ken would come too, and the rest of the family, and the town. In the dead of night, I whispered in her ear and woke her. All was quiet. We got in the cab and rode. Eileen was nervous. I put it down to being out of bed at night. The cab had a clock in the dashboard. I didn’t know what time sunrise was, but the glow coming over the horizon unnerved me. All I had to do was get her in the chair. Then she’d be Solar Waxing again and I’d have all the time I needed. We pulled up to the Equestria Experience. It was bright enough to see. “Come on,” I said. At full trot, I ran in to the building. Stephen and Ruth were staring daggers at me. “I’m sorry, Little.” Eileen went over to them and held hands. “I knew what you were trying to do. I’m worried about Grandpa too, so I told him.” “And he told us,” said Stephen. “Eileen, go in the car with your mother.” “Wait,” I said. “I don’t have much time. Please. Come with me. It’s right!” “That doesn’t matter. You’re wrong.” Far off in the distance, the first ray of dawn passed through the doors of the Equestria Experience and struck me on the cutie mark. I vanished. I was back home, in Manehattan, never to return to Earth. I was a failure.