//------------------------------//
// Chapter 10 
// Story: Resistance: Remain Human 
// by Hurgusburgus 
//------------------------------//

“Can you seriously imagine me in a suit, Applejack?”
“Yeah, but whenever Ah do, Ah get th’ giggles!” The orange farmpony snickered and I sighed.
“You’re not helping, Applejack. Fred may be ecstatic about this, but not me. I said this to Celestia and I’ll say this to you – I’m not a people person. I’m more anxious than expectant about this Gala of yours.”
“Don’t worry none ‘bout it, James! Ah’m sure Rares can help ya’ll out.”
“If I know Fred, he’s most likely to get a giant top hat. And a monocle. And what’s stopping the heat stacks from setting the clothes on fire?”
“Me.” Jen showed up, a grin on her face. “I finally got the modifications ready.”
“Y’sure? I don’t really have much faith in your crackpot science.” Jen slapped me, irritated.
“You arse. I’ve tried several designs and have finally found one that is the proverbial sliced bread. If you’d drop by my workshop, I’ll install the upgrades to the heat stacks.” Somewhat reluctantly, I followed her, Applejack in tow, curious as always.

I sat on the chair, bending over a bit to let Jen at my back. I felt the clatter of her tools as she removed one of the heat stacks for modification. Suddenly, it was several degrees warmer as the remaining heat stacks struggled to cope.
“Just hang in there, James.” Her voice floated over me as she took apart the piece of sophisticated tech. “I’ve put a lot of effort into this model.” I looked up, seeing her busily soldering and tweaking various parts of the heat stack, her fingers a complete blur. It took her mere minutes to finish the task and she returned, the heat stack now glowing a pale blue hue. As soon as Jen reconnected it, a wave of chilliness rushed through me. Soon, my body reached its natural equilibrium and everything was fine.
“Your temperature’s dropped some. I wager once I’ve finished upgrading the rest of your heat stacks, it’ll be somewhere near normal human body temperature, give or take a couple of degrees.”
It was half an hour later when Jen had finished with her heat stacks as well and we decided to head to Ponyville, Applejack in tow once more. As we walked down the road, we passed several ponies, most of whom happily greeted us. We’d become fairly well-known in Poyville during the year, but still remained more or less a rumour anywhere outside the settlement. Of course, we do get the occasional second glance, but we don’t cause trouble. Much.

Applejack knocked on the door of the Carousel Boutique and Rarity opened it a couple of moments later.
“Applejack! Nice to meet you! James, Jennifer. How does this day find you?”
“Okay. Celestia directed us here, saying we should get some ‘proper’ clothing for the Gala. Said you could help us out.”
“Oh, well certainly! Everypony must look their best at the Gala!” I cringed slightly at ‘everypony’. Rarity mistook it for nervousness, apparently.
“Oh, do not worry, James! So, tell me, what ails you in the department of fashion?”
Cringe.
“I suppose I could use a tuxedo or something along those lines. A dress for Jen, maybe?”
“Let me stop you right there, James. I’m not going anywhere in a dress. If I was human, sure, maybe. But not like this. Besides, I feel more comfortable as I am.”
“Eeergh.”
“Don’t worry. You won’t be the only to one to suffer. The Yanks’ll have to go through this, too.” I felt like I was signing my soul away, if I still had one.

In the end, having taken my measurements, Rarity announced she would have my suit ready in a couple of weeks. The Yanks had already done so earlier this day, much to my irritation. All that was left to do was wait for the invitations.

Two days later, I was happily heading towards the Griffon Embassy, a particular letter in my pocket. My destination was some distance away from Ponyville. From what Twilight had told me, they didn’t have much guests over there. Most of the time, it was used to house ambassadors from the Griffon Empire, but other than that… You get the idea.

I knocked twice on the large, gilded door. A couple of moments later, it swung open and I was presented with a griffon. His annoyed expression turned to that of shock as he saw me.
“By the Ancestors! What manner of beast are you?”
“I’m James. Princess Celestia sent me over.” I gave him my letter. He snatched it impatiently, ripping the envelope open and reading it. Once done, he looked at me surprisedly.
“So… you really eat meat?”
“Do these fangs look like they’re useless?”
“No offense, it’s just rare that I meet another meat-eater than fellow griffons. Do come in. We have some cold, smoked ham that we just unpacked.” The mention of that made my mouth water and I swallowed a litre of drool.
“Lead the way.”

That place was paradise. A meat-filed paradise. I was sitting at a table, consuming the various foodstuffs the griffons were fond of. Some I knew, some I didn’t. I ate them anyway. Of course, the griffon guards were curious of me and asked me to tell my tale, so to speak. I obliged, of course. They were a good audience, too.

“You killed a hydra? Now that is an achievement worthy of a true warrior!” The big cheese of the place, Ironbeak bellowed appreciatively, taking a swig from his tankard. The griffons were also partial to alcoholic drinks, too. I was enjoying this world more and more.
“Well, I had help. Truth be told, it wasn’t the only thing we killed in the Everfree. A whole bunch of those timberwolves, too. And then some. Damn buggers are too daft to steer clear of the cave most of the time.”
“Aye, the Everfree Forest is a hunter’s paradise.” He nodded sagely.
“Have you ever gone there?”
“No, not really. I have to stay here and watch over the embassy. But I try to when I can. As the saying goes, hunting’s the real deal.” A random griffon offered me a tankard of cold beer. I accepted it, muttering a quiet thanks.
“True.” He seemed to ponder on something.
“Say, would you be free someday for some hunting? I would like to see your prowess for myself!”
“I’d like that. We’ll sort out the details later, then?” He laughed, clapping me on the shoulder.
“Magnificent!” He cast a look over his shoulder as one of his guards whispered to him. “Bah! Something has come up that I must deal with! No worries, James! We shall meet once more! Agreed?”
“Definitely!” I grinned a toothy grin.
“Allow me to give you some of our goods to take home. I shall lend you one of our carts to use.”
No, I really liked this world now.

I’m not even being sarcastic this time.

Applejack trooted up to me, sighing relievedly.
“James! There ya are!”
“Hey, A-“*braaaaaaaaaaap*
The orange mare recoiled as my breath hit her.
“For hay’s sake, James! Where’ve ya been?”
“The Griffon Embassy.” *braaaap*
“That the reason you stink of beer?”
“Pretty much.”
“And what’s in the cart?”
“Food.”
“Food?” She clearly wasn’t buying that.
“Food.” I parroted. Before I could stop her, she looked in the cart and recoiled in shock.
“Meat! What in tarnation have ya been doin’, mister?”
“’s a gift from the griffons.” *braap*
“Well, we can’t keep this around here! Ah don’t want Apple Bloom t’freak out later!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take it to Jen’s workshop. We’ll all be happier that way. Deal?”
“Ugh! Fine! But keep it out of my family’s sight, ‘kay?”
“You got it.”
“On a side note, yer invitations t’the Gala arrived here a couple’a hours ago. Looks like we’re all set for the Gala. But we’ll deal with it when it comes.”

We were sitting quietly at the simply-built table Fred’d crafted.
“So, I got us some meat today.”
I fell backwards, dislocated by a thrown tin bowl that slammed in my face at supersonic speeds. Need I say who threw it?
“James, you arse!” Jen threw Ted’s plate at me and it struck one of my heat stacks, spinning away with a clang. “You have some and you didn’t tell us? You pillock!”
“It’s in your workshop, woman! Leave me be!” I retorted angrily. Ted sprung to his feet, but Fred grabbed him.
“Steady on, mate! We’ll share it!” He tried to reason with the Slipskull in his grasp but the upside-down-hanging Chimera wouldn’t have any of it, spouting profanities and flailing about. I sighed, trying to resume my meal while Jen walked to her workshop to drag the cart out.

A while later, we were all sitting in a quiet, concealed grove, away from prying pony eyes, consuming Ironbeak’s gift to us. None of us said anything. Jen was still pissed with me, as is her way. Ted was humming quietly. Fred was picking at his teeth absent-mindedly.

As far as perfect days go, this might have been the best one I’ve ever had, Jen’s constant abusing of me aside.