//------------------------------//
// Discord is lame 
// Story: Rainbow over Griffany: RotE Episode 7 
// by Dream Volt 
//------------------------------//

	It had been exciting.  Pinkie sure sounded excited, and AJ broke two more records, and Gilda broke one herself.  There were hoops of fire, more mechanized stuff that could have easily been made deadly rather than just painful, and some other junk, but I couldn't really focus on any of it.  Well except the mechanized dragon, that was amazingly awesome, though I still don't know how you even can score that.  I then blinked, getting it.

"Oh, it's just like the closing ceremonies, isn't it?"

"What did you say Dash?"

I shook my head.  Twilight was in the royal library of course.  It was really vertical with most books only accessible via flight.  Well flight or a unicorn armed with a vision enhancing spell and crazy good at magic so she can pull books off the top shelves with ease.  Actually it reminded me of Cloudsdale's library but it's been a good long while since I've helped mom so I haven't seen it recently.

"So were is Gilda?" asked Twilight, not looking away from her book

"Oh, Rarity grabbed G for a fitting right when we got back.  I barely got her to tell me where you were.  In fact I had to guess she said library."

"And a guard led you here?"

"Yes, and she was so slow too.  So any ideas?"

"Honestly Dash I barely considered it.  You know her, I don't.  The only thing I know about her is she insulted all of Ponyville."

"Oh, yea.  Didn't think of that."

"Unless she's likely to be impressed by me reciting Griffany's history I doubt there is much I could do that might make her respect me."

"Actually that might work.  Though just a show of magical force might as well, but if you remind her too much of Celestia it could go the other way."

"What, what do you mean by…"  Twilight turned to me, then gasped.  "Wait, you mean the griffin version of things…"

"Actually it's the full version of things.  G was right that Equestrian history books don't actually lie about it, they just gloss over exactly what Celestia did."

"So she really…"

"Melted the formerly rocky Griffin Mountains into smooth slopes while griffins were still inhabiting them?  Yea, but when was this exactly?  I never got what might put her in such a bad mood at the time, but now I know."

Twilight's face lit up.  "It was not long after she banished Luna."

"Yes, I hate the fact I was related to someone that stupid."

I turned to see Gilda in a fancy purple and black dress.  It had a bunch of points too it, all sorts of sharp angles.  Some of the black was actually dark iron formed into various shapes.  Some were buttons, but there also a few areas were little metal arrowheads hung off the dress.  It was pretty, but also a little dangerous looking.

"Let me guess."  I smiled.  "You respect Rarity now?"

"She reminds me a little much of the sisters I hate the most, but a little, yea.  This is a very cool dress.  It makes me look good instead of like a fluffy cake."

Pinkie popped out of a bookcase, knocking several books to the ground.  "Ooo, a purple and black cake would look cool and the only thing dark enough to be black is the darkest of dark chocolate.  Mmmm, chocolate cake."

Twilight summoned a bucket to catch the drool literally pouring out of Pinkie's mouth.  For a little while, Gilda stared at the bucket for a moment, then Twilight herself.  Twilight cleared her throat.

"So Gilda, what exactly did you mean?  I can guess but I'd much rather hear it from you.  It being your family history should give you insight into things…"

Gilda smiled.  "Yea, sure.  See King Doofus, his real name has been erased from history by the way."

"The book called him King Foalish the last."

"Yea, which is a double insult since Griffins have chicks not foals.  I don't think so, I mean ponies are lame as a rule, but they're not really less otherwise."

"Lame G?  You do remember…"

She groaned and covered her face with a claw.  "Ugh, sorry Dash.  It's just so hard sometimes.  Still, compared to griffins ponies are sorta boring, and they at least seem much worse than that to most griffins."

"Eh, I guess.  I mean I know some ponies are totally boring."

"Lets get back on topic." Said Twilight  "So what exactly did he do?"

"Well despite the fact that it was obvious to every griffin there that something was seriously wrong with her, and she was in the worst mood ever he decided it was a good time to be a smug loser."

"I still don't understand exactly why it was so bad.  I mean apparently it was some great crime, but I don't see why crossing the border to hunt is so awful."

"It means hunt ponies."  I uttered  "Griffins used to eat ponies before the treaty."

Twilight went pale and gasped.  It was pretty obvious to me what it meant, but I guess even the biggest egghead can miss something.  Also maybe it's only obvious because Gilda told me about this before.

"Oh get over it.  We're omnivores, and need meat.  Ponies are meat and easy enough to catch.  Also this was nearly a thousand years ago."

"But yea Twi.  Mostly griffins didn't do it anymore, but a few did, and the king usually faked being sorry about the criminals crossing and stealing ponies away, but that day for whatever reason he said roughly the same words, but was super smug."

"Thus King Foalish earned his name by pissing off the sun.  Total moron.  In response she wiped out the whole army the king brought with him as well as the rest of the Griffin mountains colony.  It was the start of the fall of the empire."

Twilight gasped.  "It all makes sense now.  That's why she wouldn’t talk about it.  It's an atrocity in a time of anger.  But it's also terribly important."

"Yea, you barely have a military but no one dares go against Equestria because even though it seemed to be a one time thing no other country wants to take the risk."

Twilight had a slight smile on her face.  "And has used that unspoken threat to negotiate from a position of power.  She's turned her greatest regret into a force for good, bringing peace to the entire world."

"For the most part.  Dad isn't the only one that's figured out at the very least you have do something really major for her to actually use force."

"Oh you really think Cici could do that?  It makes me laugh."

Twilight and I both sighed.  I could feel my stomach churn a bit.  He was practically right next to us.  Gilda just looked up at the odd creature suddenly hovering next to us.  Pinkie of course just hugged Discord.  I really wish he would have been turned to stone again.  Even nearly powerless he is so totally annoying.

"What do you want?" asked Twilight

"Don't you have anything better to do than bother us all day?" I added

"No, not really.  I mean at least as a statue I could use my powers to watch anywhere in the world I chose, but now teleporting about is nearly all I can do."

"I love the way you make me feel all tingly."

Gilda cringed, but Twilgiht and I sighed again.  Even though we knew what she meant it still sounded wrong.  Discord's aura of chaos magic was still so strong it caused a physical sensation when you were close to him.  It made me feel nauseous, and most of the girls seemed to agree.  Apparently chaos agreed with Pinkie however.  Once Twilight put it like that it made perfect sense, but it's still odd.

"So what dumb thing are you going to try and bug us about now?"

"Well I had just been hiding nearby waiting for an opportunity, but I think you might want to know while Cici did melt the mountains, she didn't actually kill the griffins.  In fact I really like the little joke she played on them.  It was my kind of thing."

"Princess Celestia would never do anything like you."

"Oh really?  No, we're far more similar that she likes, but because of that whole mother thing we never became friends.  I think we could have really gotten along otherwise."

"Okay freak, what did the big fancy horse really do?"

Discord smiled.  "Ooo, I like this one.  So many conflicting emotions to exploit.  It's very simple.  She did take the griffins out of the mountains, but she did it by turning every last one of them into a pony.  Isn't that hilarious?"

"What?"

Gilda said it first, but Twi and I echoed a moment later.  Pinkie either wasn't confused, or shocked into silence.  The second seemed far less likely but it was possible.  Then I realized I didn't see her at all anymore.  Twilight glared at Discord.

"You will tell me what you mean.  Right, now."

He laughed, then circled Twilight, looking her right in the eyes.  "Oh isn't that adorable.  Trying to imitate your fake mommy Celestia.  Still, you're no Cici."

Then Twilight's eyes flashed, and Discord began to turn to stone.  I blinked.  Soon it stopped, but suddenly Discord was well away from Twilight, and that confident smirk was gone.  It was back almost immediately, but I saw it slip.  He was scared of her.  For at least one brief moment he was scared.

"Very impressive.  Though I have to wonder how you mimicked a basilisk's gaze effect so well.  Were you actually turned to stone?"

"Yes.  According to the crusaders Fluttershy stared it down as it was turning her to stone and got it to turn me and her chicken back, and never return."

Discord stared forward, grin gone again.  "Wait, that was real?  I get confused sometimes and thought that…"  He then shook his head.  "Never mind."

"Just answer the question you mismatched dork." I said

"Well now I don't want to."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I mean it will actually prevent chaos.  So I think..."

"Just tell us already or I'll test some more combat spells on you.  I don't feel comfortable testing them on live targets but…"

He laughed.  "Well if you put that way.  Fine.  She was about to wipe out everything, and in a very Cici move had a moment of regret.  So she enchanted the whole mess of solar bombs with the spell that allows your dragon to send mail."

"And that turned them all to ponies?" asked Gilda

"Yes.  See, if you use it to transfer organic matter, the results are wonderfully chaotic.  For some reason ponies think it's a bad idea.  Honestly a few ended up as other things like dragons, rabbits, and the like, but mostly ponies."

"Wait…" asked Twi  "…but with no destination enchantment how would they reach anywhere?"

"Again, you can use the spell without a destination.  Those little seals are very useful.  Any mail will find her regardless of location."

"Uh, if that's the case how come everything didn't get sent off randomly?" I asked

"Oh, well without a destination anything not alive will just burn up, but living things have that fun thin called a will to live.  So they end up somewhere, and most likely somewhere they can survive too."  He yawned.  "A little boring really, but better than dead things."

"Wait, how come the griffins never said anything?" asked G

"If you had been turned into a pony, would you admit it?"

"Uh…." Gilda then looked down.

"They still should have asked Celestia to be turned back." I said

"And I know the princess would have done so." Added Twilight

"Oh maybe now, but then?  No, Cici was a bit moody.  Maybe it was just that time of the millenium ya know?"

Pinkie, now a tiny foal that had been hiding in his mane whacked him on the head.  "Hey, that was mean."

He tried to swat at her, but of course he missed, just smacking himself in the head.

"Stop hitting yourself." Gilda and I echoed.

"Oh, so because she was in a bad mood…" began Twilight

"She didn't fix them."  He missed Pinkie again.  "Also some of them might have been under the impression they were always ponies."  Again he missed, sadly including his own head.  "Or used to be ducks, or thought they still were potted plants."  He laughed.  "Transporting things via magical flame is not really good for the sanity as well as scrambling your form."

Twilight sighed and frowned.  "Fine, you told us, now leave."

"No, I think I like it here.  It's a little boring, but there is just so much potential for chaos and I bet it wouldn’t even be that hard to get something fun going with just a few words.  Griffins always were so touchy."

Twilight suddenly smiled.  "In that case, I'll just make you leave."

"How exactly?"

A small blue seal just like the ones on Luna's scrolls appeared around one of his horns.  Then suddenly he was covered in green flames, and a moment later he was gone.  I just stared.

"Okay, that was pretty cool." Said Gilda

"Uh, Twi, I agree but wasn't Pinkie sorta on his head?"

Twilight gasped.  "Omigosh, I didn't even notice where she was.  I wasn't really paying attention to that.  Do you think she's alright?"

"She can change her form to whatever already, and if she went more insane would you even be able to tell?"  Then Gilda smacked her head.  "I shouldn't have said that."

"Nah, it's okay.  Pinkie is the only pony that doesn't call her crazy." I said

"And Fluttershy." Added Twilight

"Oh yea.  Okay, but still it's no big deal."

"You're probably right as well.  I think based on what he said it's really exposure to a great deal of chaos magic.  Pinkie seems to like that so she should be fine.  Also Luna should be able to fix her if I'm wrong."  Then she blinked.  "I should write her a letter too I think.  Just in case. Also Pinkie is in the wrong country now."

"Hey, does this mean Spike…" I began

"Please don't tell him.  He's still my number one assistant, but I figured out how to duplicate his magic a while ago.  Although there is another reason I don't usually cast that spell."

Twilight then wavered and fell down.  Before I could even reach her side again she was standing up, eyes wavering.  She looked a little unsteady on her feet, but otherwise fine.

"It's not that powerful a magic usually, but it's very stressful to cast.  Also sending Discord was a bit trickier than…"

"Whoo!  That was so fun."

Pinkie had literally popped into existence in the air.  She had a blue seal around one leg.  She then proceeded to fall on Gilda.  Being so small she bounced off her more than hit her, landing at her side, but Gilda still glared at her.  Then she turned back to me, closed her eyes, and sighed.

"All for you Dash.  Only for you."

Twilight blinked, then stared at Gilda.  "So, Pinkie, are you alright?"

"I'm fine.  That was so fun.  You gotta send me again sometime Twilight.  I mean it was all like whoosh, but more green and up, but it was also all left and crinkle, crangle, pop at the same time.  So much fun.  I was so happy when Luna said I got to go again."

"So Random."  I said

Gilda laughed a little, the frowned again.  "I still don't like you."

"Well you seem…"  Twilight paused.  "…lets call it normal.  I think I'd like to be alone.  Even if the princess didn't actually go though with it she almost killed a great many griffins.  I'm sorry Dash but…"

Gilda smiled.  "You're like the biggest nerd ever.  I can tell.  But you're cool in a couple a ways.  I was wrong about at least two of you, and I'm sorry I called you all lame like that."

Then Gilda flew out of the library.  I blinked.  That was sincere and direct.  I never expected she would ever say anything like that, even if she might deny she meant it that way if I asked her about it.  This was the second time in one day.  Wow.