The Panzer Lehr

by Celestial Knight


Chapter 2

The second set of introductions went by quickly. It turned out that the unicorn that had been shot was Shining Armor, Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard and Cadence's husband. The other six began to introduce themselves.

The orange pony stepped forward. “Mah names Applejack, bearer of the element of Honesty.”

“Element of honesty?” Asked Schmitt.

Cadence spoke up. “Each of these young mares represents one of the six elements of harmony, powerful magic artifacts of friendship.” Schlesinger nodded.

The next to step up was the small white unicorn who had fainted. “My name is Rarity.” She said in a voice that sounded very posh and with an English sounding accent. “Bearer of the element of generosity.” Schlesinger gave a curt bow to her.

Next came the blue pegasus with the technicolored mane. “I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria, and bearer of the element of Loyalty.” She held her head high with pride as she hovered a few inches off the ground.

Suddenly, Schlesinger felt a weight on his head, he looked up into an upside down pink face with huge light blue eyes. “Hi!” Said a high pitched voice. Schlesinger gave a small shout and stumbled back. The pink pony who he hadn’t noticed was missing jumped off his head, still wearing his officers cap. “I’m Pinkie Pie, i’m the element of laughter. Do you like cupcakes I LOVE cupcakes, i’ll have to make sure I have plenty at your party, of so much planning, I have to....” The accelerated speech was cut off as Applejack jammed a hoof in Pinkies mouth.

“Sorry Pardner.” She said. “Pinkie here gets excited around new ponies, or humans I guess.”

“So it seems.” Said Schlesinger, retrieving his cap from Pinkies head and putting it back on. Behind him Schmitt and Krous were still snickering.

The yellow pegasus stepped forward slowly. “My names Fluttershy” She said quietly.

Schlesinger put a hand to his ear. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Sitting next to an enormous cannon does things to your ears.”

“My name is Flutter.......” He voice petered out again.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” Said Schmitt.

All that came out next was an adorable whimper. Rarity stepped forward. “Her name is Fluttershy, she’s a little, well, shy.” She said. “She’s the bearer of the element of kindness.”

Schlesinger nodded. “A very pretty name.” He said. Fluttershy turned beetroot reed and hid behind Applejack.

The purple unicorn slowly stepped forward. She obviously hadn’t forgiven them about the incident with her brother. “Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic. Personal student to Princess Celestia.”

“Pleasure.” Said Schlesinger. He noticed the reptile creature standing behind the group. “Who’s he?” He asked, pointing.

“The creature stepped forward. “I’m Spike, a baby dragon, and Twilights number 1 assistant.”

Schlesinger looked at the other officers, then at Cadence. “There are dragons here too?” He asked.

“Yes, though not as common as Ponies, in these parts anyway.” Said Cadence.

“Well, this place keeps getting weirder and weirder.” Said Schlesinger. “First talking ponies, now talking Dragons, what next?”

“I just thought of something.” Said Schmitt. Everyone turned to look at him. “How come you ponies speak German.”

The ponies looked at each other, confused. Cadence spoke. “We’re not speaking this language you call “German”. We, and you, are speaking Equestrian.”

“That cannot be right.” Said Schlesinger before realizing that the words he was speaking did not sound German, the syllables were wrong, yet it felt so natural.

Cadence though for a moment. “It may be a side effect of you sudden arrival here.” She said. “I shall have to look into it.”

Schlesinger just nodded. It wasn’t to much of a bother. “So what now?” He asked.

“Well, as we all know, the Crystal Empire is under threat.” Cadence turned to the elements. “It’s up to you six to find a way to protect it. Try talking to the citizens, they may know something.”

Twilight paused for a minutes then started smiling. “A research paper. That must be the test Celestia wants me to accomplish.”

Schlesinger looked at the other officers who just shrugged. “What will we do?” He asked Cadence.

“I see no harm in you helping the elements.” Said Cadence. “The more eyes and ears we have searching the better.”

“Err, no offense princess, but ah don’t think that the Crystal ponies will like it if several huge bipedal things show up on their doorstep demanding information.” Said Applejack.

“Well, we could send out patrols to search the city for anything useful.” Said Schlesinger.

“That could work.” Said Cadence. “Ok, but make haste. I don’t know how much longer I can maintain this spell.”

“We’ll get right on it Princess.” Said Twilight.

Schlesinger turned to Krous. “Tell the infantry to spilt into two man patrols and spread out across the city, meet back at the vehicles in an hour.”

Krous saluted and ran to give the orders.


1 Hour later


Twilight was the first to return from the scavenger hunt. Next to arrive was Fluttershy, who turned out to be Pinkie Pie in disguise. Schlesinger had shaken his head an laughed quietly at her antics.

Applejack, Rainbow dash, and 3 of the German patrols all came in at once, followed by the real Fluttershy, who was rather startled to find a fabric version of herself lying on the ground, and two more squads. Rarity arrived last, talking incessantly about how beautiful she would look as a Crystal pony to the other 5 German squads, who looked exhausted.

Twilight began her debriefing. “Did anypony find anything?” She asked. Almost everyone reported in the negative, with the exception of one patrol who had stumbled across a small armory. Schlesinger took due note of this.

“This is hopeless.” Said Applejack tiredly. “All I could get outta them was something about a library.” You could almost see the spark in twilights eyes as she said this.

“We saw that too.” Said one of the patrols. “South road, second side street.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Twilight asked. “That’s the perfect place to search.”

Schlesinger turned to her. “This library could be huge.” He said. “We’ll need everyone we’ve got if we’re going to search it.”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, bring your soldiers.” She said.

Schlesinger nodded and turned to his men. “Company, parade formation.” He shouted. The infantry who were already dismounted jumped into formation, shouldering their weapons. The vehicle crews who had been lounging inside their assorted machines, opened door and hatches and stood at attention in front of their vehicles. Before long, the whole 45 man company was assembled.

“Men, I hope you brought your reading glasses because we’re going to the library. Our objective will be to find any information regarding the history of the Crystal Empire. This intel could prove vital if it comes down to defending the Empire.” He stepped back, putting Twilight slightly in front of him. “Once there, you will be taking orders from Miss Twilight here.”

Twilight, who had only been vaguely listening, spun around. “What!” She demanded. “I can’t lead these soldiers, i’ve never really lead anything before.”

Schlesinger smiled. “Relax. It’s easy. Once we get there just tell them what to do and they’ll do it.”

“But...I...” Twilight stammered.

“Move out men!” Shouted Schlesinger.


The Library was a huge 4 story structure on near the middle of the city, exactly where the patrol had reported it. Getting 6 ponies and all 45 men into the building was a challenge but eventually they all gathered in the foyer, gazing up at the absolute mountain of books ahead of them.

“Ah, that’s going to take a while.” Said Schlesinger. Twilight meanwhile was chatting with an elderly mare who appeared to be the librarian. If she was surprised to see them she didn’t show it. When she wandered away, Twilight turned to Schlesinger.

“That was fruitless.” She said. “We’ll have to search the library manually.”

“That’s why we brought all this manpower.” Said Schlesinger. He moved over to stand next to his tank crew. “At your orders Miss Twilight.”

Twilight turned and looked at the men who gazed at her expectantly. “um, well.” She began. Her mind began to divide them into groups. When she had sorted them she spoke. “Alright, all of you in the black,” she was of course addressing the crews of the tank and armored car as they were wearing German armored corp black rather than the standard infantry grey, “will search the top floor.”

“You in the white.” She was addressing the truck drivers as they were wearing white snow camouflage uniforms. “And the 8 beside you.” The halftrack driver, co driver and machine gun crews. “Will search the 3rd floor.”

The two infantry squads were standing separate from each other. “The squad on my left will take the 2nd floor and the squad on my right will take the basement level. My friends and I will search the ground floor.”

The men saluted and set about their assigned tasks, taking books of shelves and checking the title.

Schlesinger walked up. “Well done Miss Sparkle.” He said. “You’ve mastered basic command.” He picked up a book from a nearby shelf. “Now lets get started.”


1 hour of searching later.


Applejack looked up from her 78th book. “Anypony else think this is a lost cause?” She asked.

Schlesinger picked up his 94th book. “How can this library have nothing at all on history?” He demanded to no one in particular. Technically this question was not true, there was plenty of history books, just nothing useful to them. Many of the Germans on the upper and lower floors had resorted to removing entire sections from shelves and scanning the covers before leaving them there.

Twilight had a magic conveyer belt running before her eyes, dragging books of shelves and allowing her to read the cover before dumping them unceremoniously in an ever growing pile, which now contained over 200 books.

“No, no, no, no, YES!” She suddenly shouted. She seized a purple book from the conveyer belt and allowed the others to drop. The men on the floors above looked over their balconies while those below looked up.

The other ponies, Schlesinger, Schmitt and Krous gathered around. The cover read, “A history of the Crystal Empire.” and was decorated with finely drawn crystals. Twilight opened the book and quickly scanned the pages. “This is exactly what we need. Lets get back to the Palace.”

Schlesinger called out to his men. “We’re falling back to the Palace.” He looked around at the mess they had made and leant over to Twilight. “Should we clean this up?” He asked.

Twilight looked very tempted to try and re-sort the books but shook her head. “No, we can fix that later. Princess Cadence doesn’t have much time.”

Schlesinger nodded and the company began to file out of the library.


Back at the Palace


Cadence and Shining Armor sat on the throne at the end of the throne room. Cadence looked a lot more tired than when they had last seen her. She now had bags under her eyes and appeared to be straining to keep her magic going.

Directly before them stood Spike, holding up the heavy history book for Twilight to read from. Behind them stood Schlesinger, Schmitt and Krous, all listening intently to Twilight’s, plan.

“The Crystal fair was an event established by the first Queen and was a ceremony used to rejuvenate the ponies happiness and thus protect the Empire.” She looked up from the book. “My friends and I could put this together.”

Shining Armor smiled. “Its worth a shot.” He said. Cadence gave a grimace and the shield above them flickered slightly.

Twilight turned and stepped down from the throne. “C’mon Spike, we have a crystal fair to put together.” The German officers followed the pair out of the throne room and into an adjoining room that would have served as the dining hall. The rest of the elements were standing around a round table in the middle of the room. She placed the book down and for no apparent reason began to sing.

“Princess Cadence needs our help.”
“Her magic will not last forever.”
“I think we can do it”
“But we need to work together.”

Krous looked at Schlesinger who just shrugged and watched.
“We have to get this right”
“Yes we have to make them see”
“We can save the Crystal ponies with their history.”

Rainbow Dash took a quick glance at the book before walking out of the room and taking up the song.

“It says that they liked jousting,”

She re-emerged wearing a set of crystal armor similar to the type that the guards wore.

Rarity now sang as she produced several strips of fabric from what seemed like thin air.

“They flew a flag of many hues.”

Applejack too a look in the book.

“Made sweets of Crystal berries.”

Fluttershy took a peek.

“They had a petting zoo with tiny ewes.”

The Germans nodded their heads in time with the song.

“Oh we have to get this right”
“Yes we have to make them see”
“We can save the Crystal ponies with their history.”

Pinkie Pie produced a crystal horn and blew loudly, deafening everyone in the room.

“There was a crystal flugel horn. That everypony liked to play.”

Twilight flipped the page.

“And a Crystal Kingdom anthem. Can you learn it in a day.”

They all proceeded out the door and into the main courtyard, still singing. Pinkie Pie produced several tons of party supplies from thin air (literally thin air) and before long the entire central plaza was covered in streamers and balloons.The Germans hung colored lanterns and streamers all over their vehicles, some began to sing along with the ponies, adding a deeper bass note to the higher pony voices.

“Oh we have to get this right”
“Yes we have to make them see”
“We can save the Crystal ponies with their history.”

They all gathered around to survey their handy work. “It looks amazing.” Said Twilight looking around in wonder. “I don’t know how I could have done this without you.” She began to walk around the plaza, levitating the book in front of her. “One last check to make sure everything is in order.”

“Whats this thing for?” Asked Applejack.

Schlesinger turned around and looked. It the center of the plaza was a rather ugly looking carving of a heart, made out of crystal.

“The last page of the book mentioned a crystal heart as the fair centerpiece. So I carved one out of a crystal block.” Said Twilight.

“Well then. I guess the festivities can begin.” Said Schlesinger.

“Yes, you and your men can wait here.” Said Twilight. “I’ll announce the fair.”

A few minutes later there was a deafening horn blast from one of the castles upper balconies. Twilight appeared over the railing. “Hear ye, hear...” The horn sounded again.

Twilight glared back at whoever blew it and looked out again. “hear ye, hear ye. Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor do cordially invite you to attend the Crystal fair.” A steadily growing crowd of ponies began to file into the plaza, no longer the grey shadows that they had once been.

The Germans spread out from the vehicles and began to explore the fair ground. Some of the Crystal ponies who had never seen them before shied away. Others who had began to make polite conversation, although their hesitations and lack of interesting topics was clear.

Schlesinger was sitting atop the Tiger, leaning against the barrel of its massive gun, watching the festivities when Rainbow Dash flew in leaving a rainbow condensation trail in her wake and dropped a Crystal Empire flag over the carved Crystal Heart. “What are you doing?” Demanded Twilight.

“We have a major problem.” Said Rainbow in alarm.

Schlesinger slid down the side of the tank and walked over. “What kind of problem.”

“I just heard from the librarian, the Crystal Heart is a relic, hundreds of years old.” Said Rainbow.

Twilights eyes shrank to pin pricks. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.” She began pacing frantically. “How will we find the real one?”

“The book.” Said Schlesinger. “Maybe that has a clue.”

“It’s on the balcony upstairs.” Said Twilight, turning and running full tilt into the palace.

Schlesinger noticed Krous nearby eating what appeared to be a corn cob on a stick. He called him over. “Assemble the men.” He mumbled. “All weapons loaded, safeties off. Don’t make it too obvious we’re mobilizing, we don’t want to spark panic.”

Krous nodded and began to distribute word amongst the troops. Schlesinger made his way back into the palace and up to the balcony. There he found Twilight flicking frantically through the book while Princess Cadence and Shining Armor looked on. She came to the very end.

“There’s a page missing.” She groaned. “How could I have missed that.”

Cadence stumbled forward a step. “Its ok Twilight.” Her eyes then rolled back into her head and she passed out into Shining Armors waiting hooves. Her magic flickered and went out. A loud haunting howl echoed through the city. The protection shield faded out of existence, snow began to fall and a huge black fog began to encroach on the Empires borders. A huge, black unicorn with a glowing red horn began to materialize from the fog.

An engine roared to life and the Puma armored car began to roll through the fair towards the edge of the city, accompanied by several infantrymen. It stopped just outside the outskirts of the Plaza, raised its main gun a few inches and fired. The high explosive shell fell just short of the manifesting figure, scattering the mist with its shockwave. The explosion jarred Cadence from unconsciousness.

She looked at the mist slowly swallowing the Empire and gritted her teeth in concentration. Slowly, her horn began to glow again and the shield began to reform. The shadowy figure made a desperate attempt to bypass the shield but this only resulted in snapping a piece of its horn off. The dome resealed and everything returned to normal.

Shining Armor gently held his wife. “I need to find the Crystal Heart.” He said with determination.

“No.” Said Twilight. “Cadence needs you. I’ll find the Crystal Heart.”

Shining Armor nodded and Schlesinger spoke up. “Twilight, requisition one of my men from Krous, you may need some extra protection.” Twilight nodded and raced away.

Schlesinger looked out over the fair and beyond it the shield, flickering slightly. “Hurry Twilight.” He mumbled.