Discord, the spirit of chaos incarnate, had never had so much fun before in his life. In the two days since his flight from Canterlot, he had caused more chaos than he had in the past 18 years combined. So far, he had limited himself to physically altering the environment, clouds of cotton candy which would rain chocolate milk, changing roads to soap, and generally disrupting the boring, mundane lives of the ponies of rural Equestria.
His current project was perhaps the best to date. He surveyed the fruits of his labors from a cloudy perch high above a small, maybe 50 ponies in all, settlement in the countryside. He was watching as earth ponies staggered drunkenly through the streets, unicorns cast random spells for no apparent purpose, and pegasi flew unsteadily through the air crashing into buildings, tree, and most humorously, the ground. The source of this splendid confusion was that he had given the town’s water supply the same inebriating properties as hard cider. Everypony in the town, whether they wanted to be or not, was completely wasted.
He had never realized before just how stifling life in the castle had been. Everything had been controlled down to the last detail. He doubted that even Concord could have found a way to be more invasive and controlling, and the contrast was incredible. Even after two whole days of doing whatever he wanted, the euphoria hadn't gone away. He thought that he might be as drunk on happiness as those ponies were on water. Mental note: investigate possibility of making happiness an alcoholic emotion.
“Hello Discord,” said a calm, familiar voice.
Broken suddenly from his reverie, he sprang into the air and prepared to snap his talons defensively. “‘Tia,” he said with relief. “For a moment, I expected my killjoy of a brother. Come here and take a look at this,” he said enthusiastically. “This is some of my best work yet. I never realized that ponies could be so much fun.”
She alighted warily upon the cloud next to him and peered down at the village. When she didn't react immediately, he grew puzzled. “Can you see it Celly? Isn't it just priceless?”
She shook her head, saying reservedly, “no, Discord, I can’t, and to be honest, I’m not sure I want to.”
“Nonsense, my favorite kind, I’m sure you’ll love it.” He snapped absently and created a magical monocle that affixed itself firmly to her face. “You look absolutely dashing, my dear, but I think something is missing... of course.” He snapped again, and a distinguished looking mustache appeared to complement the monocle. “Now you are properly equipped to enjoy the show.”
He was happy to a weary smile appear on her face. As if to play along, she magically adjusted the monocle before peering out over the edge of the cloud. Her bemused expression rapidly faded to one of worry as she saw the village in a state of utter disarray. “Discord,” she started hesitantly, “what have you done to those ponies down there?”
Excited at having another pony to appreciate his handiwork, he said happily, “I made them drunk. The things these ponies do when they’re out of their right minds is amazing. Like there was this one unicorn who kept trying to-,” he got no further because Celestia interrupted him.
“How did you make them drunk, Discord,” she said seriously. “You know that there are risks of drinking too much alcohol, so how did you do this.”
“I made their water act like alcohol,” he said nervously.
“DISCORD!” The anger and disappointment in her voice was enough to make him recoil. “How could you? You know that ponies need water to survive, and yet you made it so that they could die from drinking it. You have to change it back. Now!”
He obeyed out of habit, snapping his fingers to return the water to its normal, nonintoxicating, state. Peevishly, he said, “fine, their water is boring again. Happy?”
Her face lost some of its tension and her posture relaxed visibly. “No,” she said quietly, “but it’s a start.” As she said this, she stepped closer and nuzzled him affectionately. “We need to talk.”
“I agree, starting with how you found me.” He was happy to see her, but he needed to know how he was followed. He was okay with ‘Tia finding him, but he needed to avoid Concord if he could.
She drew back from him slowly and said in an unhappy voice, “I followed the refugees, Discord. It wasn't that difficult.”
He was momentarily at a loss. “Refugees, what refugees? I haven’t done anything that would create refugees. I may have upset a few whiny ponies who would like to live monotonous, simple lives, but nothing more.”
She seemed to be making a conscious effort to be understanding and reassuring, but he could see the effort it was requiring. “You may feel that way, Discord, but others don’t think so.”
“You are sounding an awful lot like our goody four hooves brother,” he said petulantly. “Just because I go around upsetting your bland, stagnant, and orderly,” he said with clear disdain, “status quo, everypony gets all upset. Give me an example of what I've done that is so terrible, Princess. Explain my wrongdoings.” He grinned at the hurt look she wore when he called her Princess. If she wanted to judge him, like she was somehow superior, then she should drop the friend act.
“Please, Discord, don’t get angry. I just want to talk.” she looked genuinely apologetic, but he refused to lower his guard. He knew that their parents had planned to use their affection as a tool to help keep him in line, and he wouldn't be any ponies pawn. “All I meant was that some of your jokes were a bit too harsh.”
“I’m waiting for an example Princess.”
She took a deep breath and started calmly. “What you did to the apple orchards outside Canterlot, then. They were some of the most extensive orchards in Equestria, responsible for a large portion of our annual harvest.”
“And they will still produce food, just they will produce candy apples instead of normal apples. I really don’t see the problem, except that some ponies don’t know how to make the best of a changing situation.”
Her expression fell as he spoke, and she began in was in a resigned tone. “No, they won’t, Discord. You turned the trees themselves into chocolate, remember?”
He was starting to get angry, but managed to hold his temper in check. “So what? Think of that as another gift. Now, even if the apple harvest is bad they will still have something to eat at anytime of the year.”
“Discord... what happens to chocolate when it is left in the sun for too long?” Her voice was barely almost a whisper.
That was an easy question, but he didn't see what it had to do with the topic. “Why it melts of... course... oh.” She nodded solemnly and looked away nervously.
She looked down at the village where the only ponies still outdoors were those ponies who had passed out in the streets from intoxication. Otherwise, life in the village had ground to a halt. “Please,” she said quietly, “please, please consider coming back to Canterlot with me. We can discuss loosening the restrictions on using your magic, we can do lots of things, but please, come back.”
He knew that she wanted him to feel guilty, but he didn't understand why. “I still don’t understand the problem, Celestia. So there are no more apple trees outside Canterlot and the farm ponies have to find something else to do. Maybe they will discover a better method for growing apples, or maybe they will quit being farmers and will become something better. What I don’t see is why any of this is bad.”
“Or maybe they will starve, or become criminals, or any number of other things. I’m not disagreeing with what you said. You are right, it is possible that good things will come from this, but there is just as good a chance, if not better, of bad things happening. All we want is for the ponies of Equestria to be able to live peaceful, happy lives, free to make their own choices, and not to have to live in fear of their livelihood melting before their eyes, or of dying from drinking too much water.”
“You want me,” he said, anger forcing its way into his voice, “to be a complacent, obedient little pony like all the others. You want me to just sit around while everypony else lives perfectly mundane little lives of uniform regularity. Where is the fun in any of that Princess? I just can’t believe that anypony would want to live like that.”
“But they don’t,” she said pleadingly, “that isn't how they want to live. Most ponies like surprises, some more than others, and most even understand when unpleasant surprises happen. It isn't that ponies don’t like variety and some uncertainty, it’s just that they don’t like it when their entire life’s work evaporates, like with those orchards.”
“That’s not true and you know it! Our parents, Luna, and everypony else I've ever had the misfortune of meeting, none of them have truly appreciated chaos. Everypony admired and respected Concord, everypony loves their tranquil, boring lives. You could replace him with a statue and no pony could tell the difference except that the statue might have more character, yet he is the one that ponies prefer.”
He could tell that she was starting to feel threatened. She started to back away from him slowly, but tried to keep her voice even as she spoke. “No, Discord, not everypony prefers him. And those that do don’t like him because they prefer pure order, but because he doesn't do anything to them. He is predictable, like a statue, in that ponies don’t have to worry about pies falling on their heads randomly, or their food being a pepper bomb that explodes when they bite it to make them sneeze. Most ponies simply don’t care about Concord because order is something they take for granted. What you do is far more difficult, more conspicuous, so everypony notices. While it’s true that not everypony knows how to take a joke, that doesn't mean that you aren't appreciated.”
He was out of patience, and Celestia was out of time. “Listen,” he said in a deadly serious tone. “I will not go back to Canterlot so that I can be how to act every second of every day. I had never realized just how much I was missing thanks to our parents’ meddling, but I won’t be used by anypony, especially not you or my brother. I’m sorry that they died, it was an accident, but I’m not coming back. Arrivederci.” With that, he snapped his talons, interrupting Celestia’s half formed cry of “wait.” In a flash she was gone, and Discord found himself alone with his thoughts.
For just a moment, he felt that he had, perhaps, been a little hasty in deciding to abandon his old life. But, on the other paw, it was a very big world, and with his powers, the possibilities were endless.