“Hey there!” a voice from behind Matt spoke up.
Matt stopped dead in his tracks at the voice and prayed it wasn’t for him. In a matter of seconds however, a bright red blur skidded to a halt in front of him. It was a pegasus, red as a fresh dipped candy apple, and with a energetic vibe like it had just consumed a dozen of them.
“You must be here for a conversion am I right? DUH! Of course I’m right, what else would a human like you, lookin’ as confused and lost like you do be doin’ in the Bureau if you weren’t lookin’ to ‘get your pony on’ so to speak right? RIGHT!” the pony spoke so fast and so upbeat that Matt was barely able to keep up. “I’m SOOOOOO sorry about nopony being up here or anything. I was just on my lunch break. Cotton candy and cupcakes! The lunchroom has so many other good foods but I save those ‘healthy’ foods for the real meals. This was more just a snack really, and besides, what’s the point in all those delicious sweet sweets just layin’ around if nopony is gonna eat them? No point that’s what I say! So before they get all eaten up by somepony else I make sure I get my healthy fill of sugar! But where’s my manners? The name is Firebolt! Pleased to meet ‘cha. So what do they call you? Gloomy? OH Wait no no! Something like… Raincloud? I’m never too good with human names, you lot have the weirdest ways of thinkin’ up names you know that? But I guess that’s to be expected from different worlds.”
“I uh… What?” Matt said in a daze, his head felt like it was spinning trying to process the sugar-hyped pegasus as he spoke a mile a minute.
“Your name. You do have a name right? You don’t not have one do you? Everypony’s gotta have a name, and every HUMAN too by what I hear. That’s what the sign-up forms say anyway. Big space at the top that says “NAME” and every one of you humans that have come in so far have filled it out. Unless like…” Firebolt gasped at some internal revelation “Are you like some super special un-named human? Do those even exist?!”
“Wait… Huh? No, no no.. My… My name is Matt… Matt Deckland.” Matt said trying to answer the pegasus before he went off on an even crazier tangent.
“I knew it! I told you, you had to have a name and you do! Well, pleased to meet you Matt Matt Deckland!” Firebolt said grabbing Matt’s right hand with both of his hooves and shaking it up and down as his wings carried him up to Matt’s eyelevel.
“Uh… It’s just ‘Matt Deckland’… Not ‘Matt Matt Deckland’.” Matt said correcting the pony quietly.
“Oh! Well then, that makes even more sense… Well as far as human names go… I think anyway.” Firebolt said scratching his head as he released Matt’s hand. “ANYWAY! I’ll go get you the papers. The boss would be awfully mad if she found out I didn’t present you with all those stuffy forms to get out of the way first thing. BERIGHTBACK!” With that, Firebolt sped off in the air, quick as a flash through some double doors to the right of Matt and out of sight.
~… That was… interesting.~ Matt thought to himself still in shock of the events that had just unfolded. ~Maybe… I should just go before he gets ba-~ “GAH!” Matt’s internal thoughts were interrupted by his own fright.
“HEREYAGO!” Firebolt said with that cheery tone of his. His hooves pinched a small form of papers no more than a few pages thick, extended out for Matt to take.
~Not even going to bother asking how he just appeared like that…~ Matt said taking the forms from Firebolt. “Thanks…” he said looking through the forms. “Uh… I don’t have a pen… I think I have one in my car though…” Matt said trying to think up an excuse to leave this red bolt of energy.
“No need! Got one right over by the desk! Convenient since it’s a flat surface to fill the forms out on anyway!” Firebolt said zooming over to the counter across the room and diving into the chair, causing him and the chair to spin around several times before the pegasus stopped the rotating by placing his hooves firmly on the desk, causing the contents to jump slightly.
~Of course there is…~ Matt thought as he walked over to the desk.
“Look at me! I’m a stuffy manager.” Firebolt said frowning his face and pouting his lips as he pressed his front hooves together and sat up in the chair. He put on an exaggerated ‘stuffy’ accent to deliver the impersonation flawlessly. “Welcome to the Conversion Bureau, sir or madam. Please fill out the forms provided and we can proceed…. Uhh.. forthwith…” It wasn’t but a few seconds before a smile cracked on Firebolt’s face and he began laughing. “Usually we got some super serious human up here. Her name is Jaimie, I think. But she called in sick and the next shift didn’t start until…. Well actually right now!” Firebolt said looking up at a clock behind Matt. “So I guess that means I can walk you through all this stuff and put the next person to work!” he added with a big grin.
“Lucky me…” Matt said quietly to himself as he took a pen from the little metal cylinder on the counter and clicked it.
“Well don’t sound so excited about it.” Firebolt said sarcastically. “What’s the matter? You act like this isn’t something that’s like totally super awesome! Today marks the first day of the rest of forever after all! A welcoming into ponydom!”
“Right… I just… To be honest… I’m not even sure why I came here.” Matt said looking down.
“Not sure? Didn’t you come to be ponified? I mean SURE it doesn’t happen right away. There’s the initiation period where we get you acclimated to it all and make sure you’re ready but STILL! Being a pony is great! I assume that’s why you came here right? After all, it’s not like we do much else BUT ponifications here. Unless you got lost or somethin’, or mistook this for another place. But we’re kinda out of the way… and fairly big…. And then there’s that big light up glass sign outside that says ‘The Conversion Bureau’ out front. So I figure you came to the place you were lookin’ for.” Firebolt said, his words almost seeming to be him thinking out loud more than talking to Matt at this point.
“I uh… yah… I mean. I guess I’m just not sure if the whole ‘pony’ thing is for me. I mean… It seemed like a good idea and all at the time… a great way to start a new life and all… and I don’t REALLY have anything (or anybody) that would keep me around…” Matt said trying, and failing to make a convincing argument.
“Then it sounds like you might just be a PRIME CANDIDATE for ponification! I can tell yah, I certainly do enjoy it. Then again, I’ve never really known anything different… Hmmm… I guess that makes me bias to the whole thing. But either way! We got magic and friendship and… and… and just tons of super fun stuff! If you’re thinkin’ that your life is borin’ right now, well you wouldn’t be sayin’ that in Equestria, THAT’S for sure! Why, I can’t wait to go back myself. Your planet is good and all but I’m lookin’ forward to gettin’ back to flyin’ in the open skies of Equestria WITHOUT havin’ to go through all your fancy ‘flyin’ permits’.” Firebolt said sticking his tongue out in distaste.
~I don’t think he’s even listening…~ Matt thought to himself.
“Tell yah what? Just sign all these silly forms. I’ll get’cha all registered and you can check out the place for a few days. We’ve got a mandatory one-week acclimation period that all you humans have to go through. No skippin’ past that I’m afraid. After the week, you’re welcome to take more time here if you want or you can go through with the process from there if you think you’re ready. Seein’ as you’re here, and after what you just told me, it doesn’t sound like you got much waitin’ on you comin’ back any time soon after all, might as well see what it’s all about at least, right?” Firebolt pointed out.
Matt looked slowly down at the paperwork and thought long and hard about all the energetic red pegasus had just said. It was true… he had no job to go back to, no immediate family (23 years old and both parents gone… Mother at birth, father 5 years ago to an incurable illness…) that would miss him. What did he really have to lose by giving them a week of his time? At least he would have a roof over his head and food in his stomach (hopefully more than cotton candy and cupcakes). Yet another question to add to all the others. However, for the first time in a while he had an answer to this question. What did he have to lose? Absolutely nothing. With that, Matt began to slowly fill out the paperwork, starting with that first line.
NAME: Matt Deckland