//------------------------------// // Rainbow Dash: When Worlds Collide // Story: Fastest Fall in Equestria // by Parchment_Scroll //------------------------------// Fastest Fall in Equestria When Worlds Collide Rainbow Dash: Figuring out what had happened wasn't really in my area of expertise, I gotta admit. That's really more along the lines of everyone's favorite egghead. All I could do was try to keep myself sane while I waited to hear from her. Dave introduced me to the internet, and internet-based gaming. He tried to steer me clear of the whole "My Little Pony" fandom, but let's just say that rules and I have never gotten along well. (You guys do know I'm a flight-school dropout, right? And why?) He slipped up when he showed me "Robot Unicorn Attack," though. First of all, wow, did I waste a whole lot of time with that game. Secondly, it was only a matter of time before I used the magic of Google to find a version with me in it. And from there, it was just a matter of time before I started looking for other things with me in them. And my friends. Okay, bronies, can we talk? Like seriously, mare to men? This whole shipping thing? Kind of creepy. Just sayin'. It took Dave a bit to explain the reasons everypony -- sorry, everybody -- in your world keeps assuming I'm a filly-fooler. Not that "tomcolt with rainbow colored hair" is difficult to explain, but why does that make me gay? So I'm a tomcolt. Whoop. Dee. Bucking. Doo. And my mane and tail are symbolic of one thing, and one thing only: awesome. On the other hoof, what really bakes my noggin is that you humans make such a big deal about it. It is flat-out not a big deal one way or the other. Remind me to ask Twilight Sparkle if it was ever like that in Equestria, though, because I don't wanna be all "ponies are way awesomer than humans" even though we are. Ponies, get this, actually have flaws. Mostly that they're not all me. I kid, I kid. Anyway, shipping. I really don't know how I feel about this. I guess I could take it on a case-by-case basis. Like, for example, me and Applejack? Never gonna happen. I can kind of see why you guys might expect it to - if I was a filly-fooler (and I'm not saying I am), she'd totally be my type. But we're like sisters. In fact, you can just move all of my good friends into that "like sisters" category right now, okay? Me and Spitfire? Okay, I'm not going to lie, that would be awesome. I'm not going to say "never" but I ain't saying "yes" either. Same for me and Soarin. Here's the real deal: I'm not really all that interested in foolin' -- filly or otherwise. Got too much on my plate, what with practicing for the Wonderbolts, weather management for Ponyville, and all the adventures we keep getting saddled with. Dragons, parasprites, Nightmare Moon, Discord, and so on... well, they kind of eat into any potential relationship time. If you really want to know what my orientation is, it's this: Dedicated. I am 120% dedicated to getting into the Wonderbolts, and Celestia help anypony who gets in my way. Relationships can wait. Also, I totally ship Twilight and Princess Celestia. Mainly because it makes Twilight all flustered and panicky. It's awesome, you should try it sometime. Just repeat after me: Twilight and the Princess, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! It's a riot! Oh, hay, also? I know you're wondering. Yes, I've read Cupcakes. No, it does not scare me. Not that Pinkie Pie can't be scary. I mean, the Surprise Birthday Party Incident was pretty dang creepy, but Cupcakes was just -- if anypony was going to go that kind of crazy, my money's on Twilight. It's always the quiet ones, and if there's one thing Pinkie Pie isn't, it's quiet. Oh dear Celestia, I probably gave one of you freaks an idea, didn't I? Remind me to find out if Twilight can get me internet access in Equestria once I get back. I want to read it. So, while I was playing Robot Unicorn Attack and Canabalt and Boomshine and stuff, Dave eventually wandered off to play something called "Cogs of Battle" or... wait, no, that's not it. It had "War" in the title, 'cause I remember when he told me, I was all "What's war?" The look on his face was totally priceless. ------------- Author's Note: Rainbow's chapters are all likely to be this short, it seems. I can't get her to be more verbose and still feel like Rainbow Dash.