//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Senseless Adventures in Time and Space! // Story: Doctor Whoof presents:Discord in Time! // by Muleicous //------------------------------// Senseless Adventures in Time and Space! Discord sat in a slightly uncomfortable chair, his lion’s paw holding a cup of warm tea as he looked across the room at Lyra and Bon-bon. The two ponies eyed the Chaos God cautiously, their hooves also holding tea. Each of them took an awkward sip, first Discord then Lyra and Bon-bon. It went on like this for about an hour, until finally Discord spoke up. “Lovely place you have here,” the draconequus looked at the clock, “is that from Trottingham?” “Yes...” Bon-bon answered, “So... Why are yo-” “WHAT’RE YOU DOING HERE?!” Lyra yelled, using her magic to keep the tea from falling to the ground. Discord jumped back a bit, the mint unicorn actually managed to surprise him. “Well, it’s a long story...” after a few more hours of awkward tea sipping and story telling, Discord finally summed it up , “...And then I found a weak part of the Time Vortex, and well, here we are.” Needless to say, the two ponies had their mouths gapping by the end of the tale. Finally, Bon-bon spoke up. “That was... Interesting. But I have a question, why don’t you just use your powers to fight off this Blackspine character?” “A good question,” the God of Chaos paused to finish off his tea, then snapped his fingers to fill the cup with hot chocolate, “you see, Blackspine and I have a psychic link since I gave him a bit of my ability. After the incident in Canterlot, he has found a way to steal more of my powers. If I where to fight him, or even summon anything chaotic around him, he would just suck more of my magic from me.” Discord smiled, then took a sip of the the cup, leaving only the hot chocolate hovering in the air. He then tossed it to Bon-bon, which then turned into a baby duck in the cream colored pony’s lap. Lyra cocked her eyebrow, then glared at Discord. “You honestly think that we’re going to believe Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony? I mean, it’s not like you have some sort of pardon from Princess Celestia, or Princess Luna. Hay! I’d rather believe that you’re marrying the princess, and Twilight went crazy and is trying to turn you to stone!” Discord looked out the window, as if he was looking out at an audience of strange creatures. “You know, I really didn’t want to do this. But,” the Chaos God stood, cracking the knuckles on his eagle claw, “since you don’t, I’ll just have to burn your house down.” Just as the draconequus was about to snap his fingers, somepony knocked on the door. “Miss Lyra! Miss Bon-bon!” Dinky Hooves called out, “I’m here for my lessons!” Slowly, Discord walked to the door and opened it. He stood in front of the filly, using his old ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ trick. “Who dares to interrupt Discord, King of Chaos, whilst he is ruling his subjects! SPEAK!” The God of Chaos looked down, expecting the small grey foal to be trembling in fear. Instead, Dinky looked up at Discord and smiled softly. “My mommy’s a friend of The Doctor’s.” the foal said matter-of-factly. Discord stood there for a moment, trying very hard not to slap himself in the forehead... Then after facehoofing himself, he moved to the side to let Dinky in. Lyra walked up to the foal and smiled, visibly trying not to laugh as the little filly walked into the kitchen. Bon-bon followed Dinky, a look of pure confusion on her face as she prepared to start the grey pony’s baking lesson. “The great and powerful Discord, the King of Chaos, and you can’t even scare a little filly.” Lyra said, snickering between every other word, “So, what about burning our house down?” Discord sat back in the uncomfortable chair and summoned another cup of hot chocolate. “Meh, I wasn’t really gonna do it anyway.” the draconequus finished another cup, literally, and threw the liquid at the wall behind him. It turned into a portrait of an Ursa Minor on a unicycle juggling small fish. Lyra took a moment to admire the painting, it wasn’t half bad considering it was made from delicious chocolate beverage. “So, you don’t really hate ponies... Like you said.” the mint pony asked, noting Discord’s nod, “And you really are being chased my a maniac with magic powers?” another nod, “Well... Mother bucker.” “Lyra!” Bon-bon yelled from the kitchen doorway, “Not when Dinky’s here! Really, such language...” The cream colored baker returned to her teachings, trying to make the grey foal understand that there was such a thing as too much vanilla in a cake. The mint pony just shook her hoof at the wall separating the two rooms, “Wouldn’t I like to turn her to stone some days, but Celestia do I love that pony.” Discord couldn’t help but laugh, “Now that sounded a little forced, wouldn’t you say?” The Chaos God disappeared, the reappeared behind Lyra, “Maybe, you and I are very similar creatures after all Lyra Heartstring.” “W...What does that mean?” the musician asked, a little afraid to move, “And how do you...” “Know your name?” Discord finished, “Well, I’m a God after all. Each and every pony has a little piece of me inside their hearts.” The draconequus batted his eyes mockingly, then chuckled, “As for us being similar,” Discord slid closer to the mint pony, his lips inches from her ear as he whispered, “I can give you the freedom you truly want. No more rules, no more Bon-bon saying,” The Chaos God’s head morphed to look like Lyra’s marefriend’s face, “‘Lyra don’t do this, Lyra don’t do that... Lyra, I’m not ready to make our relationship public. Lyra... I’m not ready to get a ring on my hoof.” Discord’s face returned to normal, “All you have to do, is come with me.” Lyra pondered this for a moment, it was true that she wanted to get the last of her adventurous side out. She had never truly been away from Ponyville since she answered Bon-bon’s room mate add in the paper. But she couldn’t just up and leave without telling her marefriend, they where in the middle of... Of what? Of Bon-bon being ok with sex, but not ok with publicly hugging each other? With Bon-bon kissing her good night, but not even a peck on the cheek when Lyra had to get on a train to Canterlot last year for the Gala? At this rate, it would be twenty year before the two of them tied the knot. Maybe... Just this once... “Discord,” the mint pony looked at the Chaos God, who was flossing his teeth with a piece of paper with the words 'Magna Carta’ written on it, “I’ll come with you, as long as we’re back here by tomorrow. According to your story, this time tunnel thingy can let just do that... Right?” “Absolutely,” Discord lied, he knew he’d gotten lucky finding one thin wall in time, but two right next to each other was unheard of. “I give you my word as... Well, me.” Lyra nodded and turned towards the kitchen. “Bon-bon! I’m goin’ out, ok?” the mint pony teleported her saddle bags onto her back and pulled a few books into them. Hopefully, Bon-bon wouldn’t notice them gone for a while. “I’ll probably be back late!” “Ok Lyra, I’ll see you to... No Dinky! Don’t put baking soda in with that!” Lyra could see from the door that the little grey foal had found the vinegar. The cream colored mare would be mopping all night, it was too perfect. From behind Lyra, Discord chuckled at the damage he caused. Sometimes small chaos was the most satisfying, “Let’s go.” he whispered to his new ally, and the two quietly slipped out the door. Slowly, the two started to fade and where pulled into the Time Vortex... *** Blackspine landed on the roof of the small Ponyville house, the smell of cookies and vinegar heavy in the air. "I smell is energy,"the voice said weakly in Blackspine’s head, "Discord is close."The blood red pegasus slid off the roof and quickly entered the home, the walls of the house decorated with photos of a pair of ponies: one was a mint green unicorn, the other was a cream colored earth pony with a dark blue and pink mane. “Lyra? Is that you?” Bon-bon called out, “I sent Dinky home early, so now we have the whole afternoon to ourselves.” The earth pony smiled sassily as she walked in from the kitchen, but her smile was soon replaced my a frown and a confused look in her eyes. “Who are you? Where’s Lyra?!” “I’m looking for Discord.” Blackspine took a step toward’s the cream colored pony, “Where is he? Tell me now!” Bon-bon shrinked back, she knew that this pony seemed like trouble but now she knew exactly who he was. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she answered, looking for something to defend herself with. However, Blackspine teleported over to Bon-bon and stared into her eyes. The blood red pony’s own eyes had changed, one iris was red and the other was blue, a side effect of absorbing some of the powers of Discord. “Lie to me again Bon-bon LeGateau. I dare you...” Mulecious waited a few moments, then he smiled the most dark, threatening smile Bon-bon had ever seen cross a pony’s face. “Now tell me, Where.Is. Discord!?” To be continued... --- Author’s note: Hey guy’s Muleicous here. Just a couple of things I want to say. First off, I want to thank you for reading this story... Thank you. XD Second, the bit where Lyra says that she’d believe Discord marrying Celestia over Discord’s story is actually a nod to Legacy55‘s story An Unlikely Couple. It’s a great story, and it’s probably much better at portraying Discord then this story, lulz. (Did I just troll myself?) So, go check it out a bit. Till next time!