//------------------------------// // Regret // Story: Core Reactions // by T00DEEPBLUE192 //------------------------------// Regret Sweet Apple Acres was a sweet, rich little retreat, as its name would lead you to believe, it was a place that represented working for your family and keeping committed to what you do. The sun warmed the air gently and the clouds remained clear over the farm, thanks to Rainbow Dash working overtime the night before. The trees were getting their much-needed bathing in sunlight to grow and the field’s gentle scent smelt of the fresh blades of grass that flourished in the ground. The birds tweeted softly, nesting in the soft leaves of the apple tree branches; which swayed lazily in the caressing breeze. Applejack woke up as the sun shone through her bedroom curtains; she slowly opened her eyes as the light shone through her eyelids. She sat up in bed, stretching out her hooves with the refreshing satisfaction of a good night’s sleep. She glanced at the time for a moment, expecting no surprise as the clock ticked by the hour. 11am. She gasped and her eyes went wide. Falling into a panic, she immediately leaped out of her bed, shocked by such a late reading on the clock. She threw the duvet covers aside, galloping through the heavy oak door of her room and down the splintering floorboards of the old staircase. She had overslept again. She was muttering to herself as she raced down the steps. “Just what an’ the heck is goin’ on with me?” She shook her head in disbelief of the time, with her eyes rolled up to her head, uttering what was the most on her mind: “An’ why did nopony try to wake me up?” Applejack ran into the kitchen and took out a plain white bowl from the cupboard. After snatching some milk from the fridge, she sat down at the ancient, stained dining room table, swallowing a mouthful of cornflakes from the bowl of cereal, before taking another spoonful and loudly crunching on them. Still buzzing with adrenaline and angry that her wake-up call was from the late morning sun and not from her brother, she soon jumped off the chair and rushed to the door, leaving the breakfast bowl behind. Grabbing her Stetson as she passed by the hall, she burst through the front door into the light outside. The lush, green fields and trees shone colour and freshness upon her figure. Applejack took a long, deep breath of the sweet air to immediately let it out in an angered cry. “MAC!!” The birds scampered from the trees at the outburst. A deep, southern-accented voice shouted out from behind her. Applejack turned around to face where it came from. “Ahm right here, sister. What’s the big idea with all ya shoutin’?” “Why didn’t you wake me up when I was sleepin’? How could you have forgotten? Is it really that hard to wake me up?!” Macintosh glared at his sister, he tried hard to resist raising his voice at her unjust expectations. “Who d’ya think I am, your babysitter?! It’s your responsibility, Applejack, and thanks t’you, we’re behind on buckin’!” All fell silent. Thankfully, Mac rarely showed signs of anger, but when he did, nopony dared to mess with him. His coat burned redder than usual, a sign that he was on the edge of losing his temper. Applejack clenched her teeth and her eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. Mac grew wary, assuming fear; he lowered his voice, breaking the tension of the moment by returning to his usual quiet, mild-mannered state. “I didn’t wake you so you could learn to get up on your own without me spoon-feeding you all the time. I know it’s hard to break a habit, but you gotta try to be disciplined about gettin’ out of bed.” Applejack remained stiff in shock. “You sayin’ we’re already behind on buckin’?? “Eeyup.” “Ahhh shoot!” She stomped hard with her hoof, burying it in the grass. “C’mon Mac, we need to work. Right now! Double-time! I have an order to fill by this afternoon and I’m not letting it slip away!” Applejack hadn’t heard a word of her brother’s concerns for her. Mac shook his head as he saw Applejack take off to her first apple tree of the day. “…This is why you need to calm down, AJ. Since when did panickin’ ever solve anythin’ on this farm?” He muttered to himself, something he often did just to give himself some company as he worked. Mac retreated to the barn for a moment to wheel out the applecart. He quickly strapped himself into the harness and galloped to catch up with his sister. Applejack was always eager to begin, and was already bucking hard against the first tree as Mac caught up, apples raining down from the branches and onto the grass. The stallion began collecting them to put inside the crates, wiping a drop of sweat from his brow as he did so. ______________________________________ Sweetie Belle, Applebloom and Scootaloo overheard the shouting from Applejack. They all sat inside the old tree house at the back of the farm. The little room was very minimalist. The walls were made of nothing more than the wooden boards that held the roof over their heads. A crudely hoof-drawn map of Ponyville was tacked to the wall opposite the single-glazed window looking out to the house. A rug was on the floor that the Crusaders had lain down on so they didn’t get splinters from the floorboards. The team hadn’t been on any escapades for a couple of weeks. The group meeting was calling for another adventure, but the shouting outside had them preoccupied. “I hope AJ’s alright,” Scootaloo gazed through the window towards the barn, distracted. “Scoot?” A young voice called her down from the windowsill. As the small pegasus turned away from the window, she looked towards Applebloom sitting on the corner of the rug. As Scootaloo sat down on the opposite corner, the earth pony began to speak. “Applejack’s been actin’ real strange these last few days. Ah swear the hard work’s makin’ her sick! Working on the farm is real hard and all, but now its goin' way over AJ’s head. It isn’t just affecting her that she’s real stressed: she’s been so cold towards me. Ah hate to sound like a baby, but she ain’t told me a story in like 4 whole days. As much as ah tell her ah don’t want any of ‘em, ah still love it when she tells me a good pony’s tale.” Scootaloo sniggered immaturely, holding her hooves over her mouth in an attempt to conceal it. Sweetie Belle scowled at the pegasus making her feel guilty, but Applebloom carried on speaking. “She’s so worried about her work that ah’m almost scared to see her. Like ah’m an inconvenience, y’know? I don’t want her to be mad at me for being in her way. I just want her to be happy for me, but she hates me now. It's like, she cares more for her work than she does for any of us. Me, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, she just doesn’t see us as a family no more. She sees us more like workers and slaves. What happened to her? What am ah' supposed to do?” Applebloom slumped down into the old rug. Seeing her friend in such a state was heart-wrenching for Sweetie Belle. She sat down next to the earth pony’s small frame and rested her hoof around Applebloom. She knew exactly how she felt. “Rarity is like that too. I know what it’s like and it’s made me sad. But you know what’ll fix this mess? Go talk to her. It works all the time. I know she doesn’t mean any harm to me and I know for sure that AJ wouldn’t want you to be sad either.” Applebloom took in the words for a moment. “Really? Do you really know how mean she’s been?” “Well, I can relate. Rarity doesn’t want me to be anywhere near anything when she’s working, like I’m some sort of accident waiting to happen. But she means well. Sometimes you just gotta let ponies do their own thing and they’ll come round.” “… ah hope so…” She hid her face in her hooves, knowing that the idea had worked for Sweetie Belle in the past, and there was no reason to think that this would be any different. She looked up at Sweetie Belle smiling weakly, grateful for her concern. It took a lot to make her smile these days, even just for a moment, and she was glad to have somepony who was capable of listening. Scootaloo reached her hooves around them both to give them a hug. It was what everypony needed and they both appreciated it. After a brief, happy moment, the three of them broke off the embrace. It had been too long since they had shared something like that. Applebloom remembered why they were there in the first place. “So what’ll we do now? We haven’t had a crusade for a while and we’ve explored all of Ponyville.” It had been Scootaloo’s idea to bring them to the tree house, so she could unveil her new plan in secret. A grin crept up her face, and she announced her grand proposal loud and clear. “Yep, we’ve been everywhere in Ponyville. So now it's time to go... to Canterlot! It's time to find out who we are once and for all and get our cutie marks there!” Applebloom lifted a hoof in an urgent protest. “Canterlot?? But it’s so far away! AJ would be worried sick if ah left town an’ got that far…” She looked at the map of Ponyville. It was a crudely drawn thing: a piece of scrunched up paper marked with coloured crayons. “… How would we even get there anyway? We don’t have any bits to travel there.” Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. Rarity wouldn’t be too pleased if she left Ponyville either. However, Scootaloo’s spirits were far from dampened. She had been expecting a negative reception for her ambitious plan, and prepared her reasoning for going so far out of town. “Here’s why I say we go there: Canterlot is full of powerful unicorns. They must have all sorts of talent and Sweetie Belle could get her cutie mark for sure if we go there. Who knows what she could learn? I mean, Ponyville isn’t really the right place because there isn’t enough stuff to do with magic here. Unless it has something to do with studying some old books in a library, and we all know how that turned out when we tried it…” Scootaloo rolled her eyes at the memory of going through piles and piles of ancient, dusty hardback books. She puzzled over how Twilight Sparkle even got a buck out of doing that sort of thing day after day. “…We gotta go to where the action is to find out who we really are and Canterlot’s that place for sure. After all, if we don’t try, how would we ever know? How would we ever discover new things if we don't go looking for them?” Sweetie Belle tried to poke a hole in the pegasus’ plan. “How do you suppose we get there, Scoot? The only real way to get there is chariot or the train. And we don’t have any bits.” “Pfft…we can just get there on the scooter. Even if it is real far away, you know how fast the scooter is. Come on. We’ll be back before Applejack and Rarity know anything about it.” Scootaloo was already leaving the tree house. She strolled to the edge of the doorway and jumped down into the foliage below with a soft thud. Sweetie Belle jumped down after her and approached the orange pegasus. “Well... ok, as long as it won’t be for too long, Rarity’s out of town so we can sneak past the house. I’m not sure where she’s gone though, or how long she’ll be out. She never said…” Back in the treehouse, Applebloom tore the map off the wall that would take them to Canterlot. She didn’t know why exactly, but she had a feeling that she would regret going out to the city. With the state Applejack was in, she just hoped nopony did anything too reckless. Scootaloo grabbed the scooter from the other side of the tree as Applebloom clambered down the ladder with the map in her mouth. As soon as the trio embarked onto the scooter, the eager pegasus fired up her wings and began to zip out of the farm. It took mere moments as their clubhouse was right at the back of the farm and away from Applejack’s line of sight. The scooter roared down the path towards the built-up city far into the distance. Scootaloo cheered triumphantly at the start of an exciting new journey. “Cutie Mark Crusaders away!” ______________________________________ Rainbow Dash hadn’t seen that little pipsqueak Scootaloo for a few days, and as far as she was concerned: good riddance. She found the young filly irritating, and even though she knew that pony aspired to be just like her, her biggest fan's constant attention would be no help with Dash’s current situation. Perhaps later she could do with a few cheers… The thought of the attention made Rainbow grin smugly for a moment, although it didn't last long as she remembered where she was going. She was flying to the Pegasus city of Cloudsdale in order to pay a long overdue debt - reconciliation with her oldest friend. Rainbow had been close to Gilda for as long as memories last and losing a playmate she had known for so long was something she could never dare to do. She wasn’t doing this just because she was the Element of Loyalty. In fact, that title seemed almost meaningless now. As she flew on, her thoughts turned to what had happened the last time they met. Perhaps she had been in the wrong to turn Gilda down and pull those pranks on her that time. She knew that the griffon was up for a good joke; at least, she had said so herself. But there are only so many pranks anypony could be on the receiving end of before it goes too far and it begins to cause upset: even for class clown, there’s a limit. Dash sighed as she effortlessly soared through the sky. She could sympathise with Gilda's actions after being made fun of. She hated being on the receiving end too. But at the same time, it wasn’t cool to say that she hated being pranked. In Gilda’s position, where coolness and inspiring ponies with her awesomeness was the ultimate virtue, it would’ve been impossible to confess that she was upset. Her attitude could’ve just been a simple misunderstanding on the ponies' part: maybe Gilda just wanted to keep appearances up by putting on a brave face for the party, so nopony’s moment of fun was ruined. Perhaps she was misunderstood. Gilda didn’t really have bad intentions. She had just been forced into a corner that she couldn’t back out of, into a test that she feared to fail, and she had inevitably snapped under the immense pressure. All of this just meant one thing to Dash: she really needed to talk to Gilda. The blue pegasus eventually reached the main Nimbus cloud for the landing ponies and trotted into the blue and white world of the city that she had grown up in. She knew the place well, which was vital, as the maze of white clouds made every corner look the same. As Rainbow hurried along, a few passers-by turned their heads to follow the striking beauty of her multicoloured mane and tail that were blew gracefully in the high winds. Some ponies believed that her colours were created by her inherent magic. Dash was used to the attention she received, and normally enjoyed the ‘legends’ that would occasionally follow her, but all the chatter wasn’t important to her now. Her focus was her oldest friend, who meant a whole lot more to her than fellow pegasi massaging her ego. ______________________________________ For the rainbow factory, it was just another typical day of concocting formulae and potions. The pegasi workers all got on with their jobs of weaving magic into the multi-coloured liquids, to be processed in a phenomenon that was known to spark myth from its beauty. To anypony else, it was be an incredible sight to behold, but to the workers, it was just another day at their stations and offices. In the centre, there was a fountain where the rainbow fluid was stored, ready to be cast upon the sky wherever rain fell and Celestia's sun shone through. However, beside that lake of multicoloured chemicals was a familiar face. She had lain down on the factory floor right beside the main fountain. The factory workers knew who it was, but her beast-like nature and her legendary form kept helping hooves repelled. Nobody messed with Gilda, not even when she wasn’t meant to be there. Especially now, with a face of such fury, mere eye contact was not dared. Gilda rested carelessly beside the fountain edge looking down into the rainbow pool, seemingly lost in bitterness and sorrow. She looked back into her memories of the blue pegasus along with the other fliers that were in flight school. When she and Dash were little, they grew up and matured with each other in a sisterly relationship, partners in crime for their dubious antics and renegades. Since they had first laid eyes on each other, their bond together had been unbreakable. They shared all their time together. Like when she had retreated to a quiet place on the clouds to learn to fly and she fluttered her fluffy little wings for the very first time. It wasn’t from the help of her parents, but from Rainbow Dash giving her a helping hoof by sharing exercises together. Then there was the time she got Dash to fly for the first time, by throwing her with all her might, after hours of relentless exercising during their youthful rites after school. She used to race with her every afternoon once they knew how to fly, tearing through the Cloudsdale streets two abreast, avoiding obstacles and swooping through fast, narrow alleyways with the wind their feathers. Gilda remembered the pure adrenaline that had coursed through her entire being back then. The danger had felt so euphoric, the risks they took as other pegasi trotted along nearby, having been dizzied by their blinding speed. They had been so close to being hurt, yet Gilda had never felt so alive in her life. Being in the fast lane felt so cool, so carefree. She had been living for the moment with her friend and she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. At the time it had seemed like it would last forever, but the past pleasures had ended, and now their relationship was on a knife edge. Not for grim death, but for the end of their unbreakable friendship. Gilda felt hopeless, confused and depressed. She just wanted to be cool, it was all that she knew and the only thing that felt good. It felt like a complete betrayal that she was so quickly thrown in the dirt by Dash, along with the only good times she had ever had, just because she couldn’t get on with Dash’s new friends. The mere thought of her new friends sickened Gilda’s stomach and lit a raging fire in the back of her head. She had been robbed. But she couldn’t let those sweet, blissful, completely unforgettable memories end and be reduced to nothing, left to crash and burn with their friendship. She saw a vision of Dash far off in the distance as the immediate surroundings of the factory slowly faded and disappeared, her eyes gently closing to rest. ********** Dash’s figure appeared clear in the darkness as a blue speck, growing larger and talking in a murmur that grew in the background as Gilda watched her draw nearer. The darkness of Gilda’s surroundings faded once again to become the brilliant blue of outside. It was a different place, but she recognised where she was. She was back in flight school again. Dash’s voice grew clearer to the point of almost being able to make out the words as she steadily approached. But Gilda didn’t even need to understand the words coming from her mouth. She knew what she was saying in that memory. The place she was in, why Dash was there and coming closer. It was a memory Gilda deeply regretted, the repercussions of which still followed her. The griffon was standing in a corner, resting herself against the walls of the school building, alone. It was a moment in which she grieved for her parents, who had abandoned her from her birthplace of the Griffon Kingdoms to Cloudsdale. She had nothing for shelter other than the box and blanket she had been left with during that stormy winter night. The ice that embraced her box in the blizzard was all she could ever recall. She couldn’t even remember her parents' faces - as if they had never existed. Her pegasus friend approached, looking at her with a weak smile, she kept talking in a murmur, but Gilda wouldn't listen. She was in such agony for what her parents had done to her as she yearned for their love and care. She just wanted to cry so damn much, but she couldn’t allow herself to let go. Crying in front of Rainbow Dash? How pathetic. Losing her cool because she was upset? That’s the lamest thing to happen to anypony. “Gilda… are you okay?” Her voice echoed in a numb haze of sound. “I’m fine, Dash! Just leave me alone.” “You don’t look so good. What’s up?” Dash looked nervous, but the warmth of her presence gave Gilda an ember of warmth. She hid a weak smile. Those violet eyes, the rainbow stripes, her attitude. She felt herself slipping, she felt her armour begin to crack as Dash drew closer. The urge to cry grew alarmingly. She just wanted to show her feelings, but no. Crying, especially at school, was just not an option. But Gilda’s heart continued to race with tension, her mind reaching meltdown, and she finally slipped, her feelings erupting. She felt her fear of showing feelings try to give in to the yearning to be rescued, but the hatred she felt for her parents was just too strong. The emotional battle raged inside her, but if it spilled out, all of it would happen right there, right then. And right in front of a pony she could never dare to hurt. Gilda shoved Dash away and escaped, flying straight up towards the sun. Her friend never followed her. Never could she show her feelings to anypony, especially in public. Not then, not now. And as she climbed towards the blazing sun, the gold of its colour became a blinding whiteout, which descended down into the final blackout. Gilda opened her eyes. ********** She hated that memory. She could have let herself go and revealed her dark past, but at the terrible cost of her coolness for revealing her sensitive side. She hated herself to an inch of her life. Now she had no opportunity to make up for it. Rainbow betrayed her by turning to her new friends. All that time, all those moments that she had enjoyed with Dash, all of it now seemed completely meaningless. It had crippled Gilda’s foundations. She longed for a way that she could justify her forgiveness. Perhaps Dash just wasn’t being herself? The words that her friend had said to her were words that Gilda couldn’t understand. It just didn’t make sense. She couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary in her own actions, she had only been doing what she knew: protecting Rainbow Dash and gifting her with the joy of being the rainbow-coloured jewel on the sky’s crown, the most awesome pony around. Even if she wasn’t a Wonderbolt, she would always be the silver lining in the griffon's dark clouds. Dash was the only pony Gilda ever wanted to hold on to. She was her only outlet, the only protector she had from her demons, the only one who had the power to save her. Deep down, she knew she was mean to everypony else. She knew she was horrible. But she couldn’t afford to let anypony else spirit Dash away. She was the only pony Gilda ever had and would ever need. Her existence was Gilda’s lifeline. All of those memories, all of those times they shared together. They meant everything to her, and not just that, but the sweet disposition of Dash’s soul too. Her friendliness, how she made Gilda feel good, how strongly they bonded as they both shared their lives together. It let Gilda know that she was important to somepony. That she had value, despite her parents leaving her to die. Dash was going to protect her from anypony who would dare to break that bond. But now, none of the protection mattered. For she had been betrayed by Dash for the very same evil that she swore to protect her from. The friendship they had had together had now reduced to ashes. Gilda’s life- reduced to nothingness. The sight of the rainbow chemicals that surrounded her didn’t make the bitterness go away. She held her tears deep down, splashing the fountain with her claw in frustration. She hated Rainbow’s new friends. They had taken away what belonged to her, the one thing gave her life some happiness in the black shroud that was her past when she had nowhere to go and no one else to turn to. She tried to think on what to do, but her mind was melting, deforming the foundations of the mighty, strong griffon, rebuilding itself on a devouring black hole that ate at her sanity. She needed her friend to save her, but her heroine was gone. The one and only voice left inside her called out, in one cold, bitter, twisted wave that breathed a death rattle for her spirit. Grown from hatred of the parents that left her to die, the voice screamed out for revenge, whatever the cost was. Gilda bared her teeth in anger and scored the stone floor with her vicious claws. She zoned out of that horrid train of thought and quickly rose from her perch, scowling at the rainbow fountain once again. She turned to leave the factory, barging her way through the workers and knocking over equipment with her splayed wings. The workers did nothing to stop her; they merely dealt with it, being too afraid to get in her way. She made it to the ever-blinding light of the midday sun outside; it meant nothing to her that the day was so brilliant and clear. As her eyes adjusted to the light with a flutter of her eyelids, she saw another familiar face in the sky as she looked up to take off. It was exactly who she was looking for, yet for the sake of her friend’s safety, exactly who she dreaded to meet. ______________________________________ Rainbow watched her oldest friend passing through the towering golden doors of the factory to leave the large structure. It was a friend that she hadn’t seen for a month, but it was exactly who she needed to meet. Dash swooped down to land on the surrounding clouds, treading carefully in Gilda’s direction. She weaved around, passing winged commuters as they stopped to look at her and continuing to ignore their stares. It was time for an overdue chat, but the blue pegasus was not at all prepared, as her little buddy was way beyond reasoning with words.