//------------------------------//
// A Day of Pony 
// Story: TD's Little Rarity 
// by BronyWriter 
//------------------------------//

I'm awoken by the sound of our door opening and two sets of feet walking into our room. I groan and put my pillow over my head, hoping that they'll get the idea and just leave us alone so we can sleep for a little while longer. 

I hear Rarity yawn beside me so I lift my pillow and open my eye a crack to see her rubbing her eyes with a hoof to get the sleep out of them. Yeah, as non-Brony as I am, I'll never think that that image isn't obscenely adorable. Curse me for getting soft. 

"Well you two, it's time to get up. You have a lot going on today," says the voice of Agent Johnson. 

"Or you could let us go," I growl. 

"Yeah, not going to happen," says Agent Tanner. 

"Ever?" I hear Rarity ask sadly. To my amusement they don't respond to that one. I mean really, try looking a seven year old in the eye and tell them that you're never going to let them go. It just can't be done. 

Agent Tanner clears her throat. "Uh, anyway, basically today is pretty simple despite its length. TD, you will be watching the first season of the show today with the team that isn't working with Rarity. Meanwhile Dr.s Allred and Lundgren will be working with Rarity today to see if she can't develop a little more of her magic and maybe test out what she already knows."

"Okay," I say with a yawn. I push myself up and sit up, scratching my chest as I do. I see that Rarity is far more awake than I am and she is sitting on her haunches trying to get her mane styled right. 

"Uh, Rarity, can you possibly wait on styling your mane so that the doctors can see how you're doing it?" asks Agent Johnson. 

"Absolutely not," says Rarity with a frown. "I refuse to be tested on like a trained monkey without looking my best." 

I snort and stand up. Yeah, you don't live with a Powell for three weeks and not learn to snark. I'm surprised that the Crusaders didn't pick up some of it to be honest. Or maybe they did and I just never saw any of it. 

However, Agent Tanner is not so impressed with the quip. "Rarity, it really would be best if you waited so we can learn from what you do."

Rarity scoffs and with a small burst from her horn, her mane is back to its normal curls. With that done, she shoots the agents a disapproving glare. "Just because you don't take a lot of pride in your appearance doesn't mean that I have to stoop to the same levels because I'm being held here against my will for the rest of my life. I mean really, darling, do you even try to make your mane look nice?"

Rarity: two, agents: zero. I smirk at the agents when they glance over to me and lick my finger before making two tally marks in the air. 

"If you are so interested in finding out how my mane spells work then I will be more than happy to demonstrate one either yourself or one of the doctors," says Rarity. "Otherwise you can just move on to other forms of exploitation. I will not endure such abuses without looking like a proper lady."

Go Rarity, man. I kind of wish I could make the agents look as flustered as she so easily made them look just now. The agents unfortunately recover fairly quickly and silently beckon us out of the room. "Agent Tanner will take you to the viewing room where the staff is watching the show in about two minutes. I'll be taking Rarity to see Dr. Allred and Dr. Lundgren."

"Uh, can I opt out of watching the show? I mean... I kind of think it's dumb," I mutter. 

"You forfeited your right to think it was dumb when you ended up in Equestria and Rarity showed up in a box in your room," says Agent Johnson. "Now follow me down this hallway." 

I glance behind me to see that Rarity, despite her earlier bravado, is looking quite nervous at the thought of being alone with the doctors. I hold up a finger to halt the agents before leaning down to Rarity. "So, when they ask you to demonstrate your mane spell on them, what are you thinking of doing?" I whisper in her ear. 

A small smile creeps onto her face. "I was thinking something like a hornet's nest that's been attacked by a baseball bat."

I give an amused snort. "That's what I thought." I stand up and smile fondly at Rarity. "You'll do great I'm sure. You just got to be brave."

"The same to you I'll wager," says Rarity. 

"Touché," I chuckle. 

"If you two are done, we'd like to begin," says Agent Tanner.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumble. "I'll see you later okay?"

"Have as good of a day as you can, father," says Rarity. 

I nod but before I go I lean in to whisper into Agent Johnson's ear. "If you hurt one hair on her head, I'll snap your neck with my bare hands the second I get the chance, got it?" 

"I wouldn't be spouting off things like that if I were you," growls Agent Johnson. "It would make things worse."

"It'll be worse for me but that won't change the fact that you're dead." I scoff. "All you have to do is not hurt her."

"I already said that we wouldn't."

"Then we'll have a few less problems with each other." I straighten back up and nod to Agent Tanner. She beckons me onwards and I follow her to what appears to be a kind of movie theater room. Inside are half a dozen scientists with lab coats and clipboards and a similar number of stoic FBI agents. Oh yeah, this is definitely the crowd you want to binge on a little girl's show with.

I am directed to a seat near the front which I am irritated to see have a pair of handcuffs attached to it. I glare at Agent Tanner. "Seriously?"

She sits me down and secures me to the chair. "Just a precaution."

"Oh sure, because I'm the kind of guy who could escape from half a dozen FBI agents that could all kill me with little more than a thought," I grumble. 

"Just watch the show and I'll be back to get you around five tonight. Be sure you pay attention. I'll have you look over their notes when you get back to your room."

"Just call it what it is, Tanner, a cell." 

Agent Tanner rolls her eyes and walks out of the room. I grumble impolite things to myself, most of which have to deal with Agent Tanner's mother and hygiene. 

What little noise there is in the room is quieted when one of the scientists walks to the front of the room. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. As I am sure you are all aware, there is a TV show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now I know some of you may or may not be Bronies or Pegasisters, but I'm hardly going to out anybody to the crowd." He chuckles at his lame joke but is the only one to do so. One of the agents coughs and the doctor chuckles nervously. "Yes, well, anyway, I'm sure you also know that we recently acquired one of the characters from the show, a unicorn filly named Rarity. In the show she is an adult mare, but she is merely a filly here in our world." He clears his throat and adjusts his glasses. "Now, it also pleases me to inform any of you who don't know that we have in our midst--"

"You mean custody," I shout out. 

The doctor is flustered for a moment but otherwise he ignores my outburst. "So... yes, uh, we have in our midst a person who has actually been to the land that the ponies inhabit, a world that I am told is called 'Equestria'. We and he are here today to watch the show so we may gain a better understanding of their world and so that TD here can get a better understanding of what blanks need to be filled in, isn't that right, TD?"

"If I get out of here I'll stick that clipboard so far up your rear you'll cough up woodchips," is what I want to say but don't. I settle for a curt nod. 

"Excellent." The scientist takes a pair of glasses out of his coat pocket and scans his clipboard. "Well I think that's everything. We'll be watching these in chronological order so we'll be starting with the pilot now." He leans in closer to his clipboard. "According to Wikipedia it is about when Twilight Sparkle learns that the evil Nightmare Moon will return during the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration after one thousand years of imprisonment on the moon. She tries to warn her mentor Princess Celestia, but the Princess ignores her and sends her to Ponyville to check on the preparations for the celebration. There Twilight reluctantly meets Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie for the first time. At the celebration, Nightmare Moon appears in place of a missing Princess Celestia and decrees everlasting night." The scientist giggles. "Now doesn't that sound exciting?" 

"No," I mumble under my breath. Seriously, even a lot of Bronies think that the pilot episodes are kind of dumb. A quick glance around the room reveals that the FBI agents are thinking along similar lines which does make me feel a little better. 

The scientist puts his glasses back in his coat pocket and starts up again. "So, without further ado, I present to you for your viewing pleasure 'The Mare in the Moon'."

This is gonna suck. 


*  *  *  *


Do you want to know something about when I said that it was going to suck? It turns out that I was absolutely correct. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't quite as painful as I thought it was going to be, but I still really don't see the appeal. The only truly interesting part to me was when Pinkie Pie thought that nobody was coming to her party so her second personality came out. It was creepy as all else, but from experience I can tell you that a Pinkie Pie that rocks in the corner muttering to herself is far less scary than a Pinkie Pie that chases you for breaking a Pinkie Promise. 

Agent Tanner comes back in after that and frees me from the freaking handcuffs. I don't even know why she thought they would be necessary. It was probably for the mane quip that Rarity made this morning and, well, she can't do anything like that to Rarity. 

Huh... that made a lot of sense, actually. 

She beckons me out of the room and I dutifully follow her to what I surmise is my room. I'd be glad for it. After hours upon hours of pony I'm due for a rather stellar nap. Although, I'll stay up to hear about Rarity's day if she’s in the room when I arrive. That quip about snapping the neck of the first person who I got my hands on after one of them hurt Rarity was completely true and I hoped that he knew that. 

Thankfully our intended destination is our room. Good, I couldn't do any interrogations today. I'm too out of it to realistically answer any questions about Equestria with the thoroughness that they'd doubtlessly require. 

To my pleasant surprise I see that Rarity is in the room too. She is sitting on her haunches on the bed as if expectantly awaiting my arrival. She smiles widely at me when I walk in and I reply with a smirk of my own. Agent Tanner locks the door behind me and I plop down on the bed which has suddenly become thirty times as comfortable. 

I hear Rarity jump off of her bed and onto mine. She nuzzles the back of my neck and then sits down next to me. "So, how was your day?" she asks. 

I groan. "Nine hours of nothing but ponies takes its toll on a guy." I roll my head to the side enough to glance up at her. "Oh and the fact that I was handcuffed to the chair and given meals that probably came out of boxes labeled 'suitable for military and prison use' didn't help either."

Rarity clicks her tongue. "Well that does sound taxing," she says. "I have to admit that it was worse than mine, though only a little. They put these sensors on my head and then had me cast the few spells that I knew so the machine I was hooked up to could register something or other. In all honesty I'm not even sure they knew what they were measuring. I did give Agent Tanner a rather nice beehive manecut though, so that was fun."

"I take it that was the reason she was so grumpy when she came to get me?"

Rarity shrugs. "That might have had something to do with it, yes. Agent Johnson for his part could barely hide his laughter."

I smirk. "Good on ya," I say. 

I try but completely fail to stifle a large yawn, something that Rarity doesn't fail to notice. "I think now is a good time for bed then, yes?" 

I nod and she hops off of my bed allowing me to slide under the covers. I glance over at her to see that she's hopped up on her pillow and, to my vague irritation seeing as how I've done nothing but watch the show all day, Rarity begins sliding under the covers the exact same way that show Rarity did in episode eight. 

Why do I know that, I didn't ever want to be able to recall facts like that!!

Oh well, the sandman has me under his spell soon enough and I find myself in dreamland not a moment too soon.