You churn for only a moment as your head turns to face the mare sleeping beside you. Her light golden strands of hair spread across her own pillow as her back was turned to you. Celestia's sun barely peaked through the window defying the blinds to cover up her glory. You didn't care however as the stream of light played across your beloved's hair ever increasing it's attractiveness. If there was ever an angel pony you knew it to be her. The very thought of it being true put a smile across your face.
“Time to wake up, my Angel,” you speak out softly.
Something akin to a grumble comes from the stirring mare.
“Remember we have to take Steel to the dentist today,” you try to stir her again by placing your hoof on her back and rubbing in a slow, circular fashion.
“Ok, Daddy,”
Your face is scrunched up in sudden confusion. Your hoof slides along her back until you noticed something was wrong, terribly wrong. The ends of her hair slowly turned to ash. You watched slowly as she began to burn beside you. You tried to stop the burning, Celestia you tried! Your hooves tried to put out the small fire but nothing worked. It was only seconds before you found yourself weeping over a mound of ashes.
“Daddy! Wake up!”
You wake up with a startle as a small filly gazes at you with a cheerful face. A large grin spread almost from ear to ear. Her bright, golden hair displayed amongst her features which easily reminded you of a certain somepony. Her coat held the same as yours however, a dark smoky shade. Her eyes however were a sea of blue, easily something to be truly lost in.
“I'm up, Hunny,” you say as to finally convince your daughter of your rising. You simply watch as she sits down on your stomach and pouts. Uh oh.
“You said that last time, Dad,” she said with defiance as she crossed her hooves across her chest. “Remember that you were going to walk me to school today?”
You shut your eyes and fight the ever increasing headache that has invaded your train of thought. There was no 'almost' forgetting this time. You had completely forgot and if there was ever a pony to know you were lying it was your daughter, Sea Wind. “Of course I remembered. You have more faith in your father don't you?” You simply crack a wavering smile.
She only squinted her eyes knowing full well that you forgot.
“Fine, fine,” You say as you quickly turn and press your fore hooves against her stomach, scratching furiously. A bout of laughter erupts from Sea wind's lips as she tries to escape but to no avail! “No one escapes from the tickle monster!” you shout moments before letting loose a cackling laugh that any villain would be proud to hear. She tries to defend herself but simply gives in to just kicking in random directions and laughing until her sides hurt.
Stopping for a moment to let her catch a breath of air you simply nudge her towards the end of the bed. “Go and get your breakfast in you and if your lucky, perhaps we can stop on the way to get you a muffin,” Her mother's favourite.
A large smile spread across her face as she said nothing in response. The filly simply jumped from the bed and ran out of the bedroom door. You wait a few seconds more before your smile falters. You sit on your bed made for two. It has been almost one entire year since she had passed away. You twist your head slowly to view the two photos on your bedside. One of the entire family and one that was just for you. The mare you fell in love with and started a family with, Ditzy Doo.
The headache started again as you rub your eyes in pain both physically and emotionally. Your hoof reached for an all too familiar item as you twist the cap off. The burning liquid soon made it's way down your throat as you give a raspy cough. The numbing was addictive. Some days you often wondered what you would have done with out it.
A few steps echoed from your doorway causing you to quickly turn your head to witness your eldest child. A stallion that mirrored his mother in almost every way but her eyes. He shared the same ocean blue like his sister. As Sea Wind was more then pleasant to see you, Steel Strike however was anything but.
“Good morning, Steel,” You call out placing the bottle back into the bedside drawer.
“Whatever, Drunky,” he simply acknowledges you back as he trots off towards the stairs without a second look towards you.
Initially you had retaliated against your son, telling him off for whatever reasons although you came off as drunk and disoriented. Everypony in Ponyville knew about your lose but they also knew of your repercussions. Excessive amount of drinking and becoming mostly anti-social. Initially ponies felt sorry but you know they look at you much like your Son does now.
Your shoulders slouch for only a moment before you slide onto all four hooves. Making your way slowly down the stairs to find a cheerful Sea Wave and a less then happy Steel Strike munching on cereal together. As soon as Steel Strike notices you though he simply bites down on his bowl and quickly deposits it into the sink before making for the door. Just like usual with Steel, less eye contact the better. “What are you up to today?” you call out to him.
“Work, then I'm hanging out with Scootaloo,” was all he said before stretching his wings and taking off from the front door.
You simply let out a tired sigh from the edge of your lips. Turning your head however with a practiced smile you look at your bubbly personality daughter who was trying desperately to flap her own small wings. A large ache erupts in your chest as you watch her try to fly up to the sink edge to place her bowl just like her older brother. You look at your sides and wince knowing that you were a simple earth pony. Ditzy was the one that almost bounced when she gave birth to another Pegasus child, a daughter none the less! She taught Steel how to fly but Sea never got that chance.
On the edge of tears you simply put two hooves near her flank and pushed her up, a little something to think she was flying. A large smile grew on her face as she turned to you after placing the bowl in the sink. Her smile is lost for only a moment as she looks up to you in slight confusion.
“Why are you crying, Dad?”
You didn't noticed the hot tear streak down against your smoky coat of a cheek. A soft smile playing against your lips as you simply choke for a moment. Letting out a huff of air you simply shake your head and give her a nudge to the stairs. “Go brush your teeth and get your things ready for school,”
Thankfully a large smile spread across her face again as she bolted for the bathroom on the second floor. You wait again until she's out of sight before pulling another one of your friendly 'Numbing' bottles from the top shelf. A quick swig later and you let out a sigh in relief, hoping to Celestia that it would hold you off till you get back to the blacksmith shop you owned.
Both yourself and daughter, who sat content on your back, made the familiar trek to the only bakery Sea ever wanted to go to, Sugar Cube corner . Most of the other citizens of the town barely even gave you a second glance either out of pity or disgust, you no longer cared. You trotted happily enough to Sugar Cube corner and gave Mr. And Mrs. Cake a good morning. Out of politeness they responded with a fellow greeting but you noticed the smile that faltered for just a moment. Luckily Sea Wind was too preoccupied with which muffin to pick from the many behind the display glass.
With both muffin and filly on your back you start off for the school. Hardly stunned by the fact that the muffin was no where in sight by the time you came to a stop outside the school house you simply sigh. “You are defiantly one of your mother's,” you let out under your breath as Sea jumps from your back and fidgets in place for a moment. You simply turn your head slightly before she looks back up at you with slight concern.
“I... Um kind of forgot,” the filly Pegasus mumbled as she kicked a hoof at the ground. Just as you were about to ask, a mare came to stand near you. Looking up from her hooves you knew it was none other then.
“Hello,” Cheerilee spoke as she trotted up to you with a smile. You give her back the best smile you can muster which makes teacher beam just a slight brighter. “I'm glad you agreed for the parent-teacher meeting tonight, Mr. Iron,”
“What Parent-Teacher meeting?” you simply voiced as your smile falters and you turn your head to the side. It didn't take long for your gaze to lower as you witness Sea Wind's head so low, you'd assume she was eating dirt.
“Sea had said that you agreed for myself to come over at six tonight. There's a few things I wanted to discuss with you,” Cheerilee explained as she raised an eyebrow towards you. The scrutinizing look given your way only made you sigh lightly. Easily catching this, she takes a hoof step closer towards you. “Are you alright?” her voice only carrying worry.
“Yes, I'm fine,” My Son has little to no respect for me, my daughter is growing up without a mother and I feel like I'm running on pure alcohol fumes these days. “Feeling great.” You summarize with another attempt at a convincing smile before patting your daughter on the head. Her eyes looking up to you and you can see the remorse within them. “Go play with your friends and remember, no crusading today,” you watch as a bright smile grew on her face and she ran towards the small playground nearby.
You turn back to see Cheerilee just watching you but this time her expression was pained. “Miss Cheerilee?”
“It's been a year hasn't it?”
You say nothing but instead look past the mare who watched you intently although her pained expression was something you didn't want to witness. You feel your throat tighten as images float through your mind so in response you simply nod slowly.
“How are you holding up?” she continues to press into your life.
“Fantastic,” you lied with practiced ease. “My shop is always busy and my kids are both healthy. What could be wrong?” you ask her but you notice by her facial expressions alone she's not buying a single word of it.
“We went to school together, Strike. Tartarus, we even dated before I went to University!” she tried to plead with you, both in your memories and with her soft voice. “You can talk to me Strike, I'm here to help when a friend is hurting,”
You open your mouth for only a moment as the ashes of your heart try and push you to connect with the mare in front of you. Your mind however holds the whip as you close your mouth and simply turn away from the mare. “I'll see you tonight, Miss Cheerilee,”