//------------------------------// // Chapter 34 // Story: Torn Between Two Worlds // by Alex Barkhorn //------------------------------// "Hello, Alex." The man in front of me, James Callaghan, my father, said to me with a small smile. I noticed he had the same midnight blue eyes as me, but resembled my brother in facial structure. His medium length dark brown hair was graying ever so slowly, in that distinguished sideburns-only kind of way, and there were a few strands of grey in his full goatee. I stood there, staring and unmoving. "...Hello." Was all I managed to say, as surprise had my tongue at the moment. Another few silent moments, until he removed his hands from the pockets of his slimming suit. "Can I come in?" He asked. I don't know what came over me and why I didn't just slam the door in his fucking face, but I decided to humor him and let him in. I led him into the living room, and Dana and Gray, knowing who this was, stared at me with wide eyes- unfortunately, the girls were in the dark as to who this man was. "Hello, Gray. How's your father?" He asked, as if everything were hunky-dory with my friends. "...Fine." Was all Gray replied with. James gave an uncomfortable clearing of the throat, before looking at the girls. "More friends, son?" He asked me. I nodded, but didn't bother with the introductions. Though, when he called me 'son', the girls' expressions changed, knowing who this was. We talked for a while, about incredibly trivial things, including school, my relationship with Shy, and other nonsense, and I tried my hardest to stay civil with him. He must have wanted to say something if he had the balls to come visit me. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again," I said dryly, taking a seat next to Fluttershy, who grabbed y hand in support and gave it a light squeeze. "Well, I'd assume so... And, Alex, I'm sorry about leaving you and Nick. It's just... Things were tough. Your mother and I-" "Let's not go down that road, James." I interrupted quickly. He chuckled softly and looked at me. "You can call me Dad, Alex. It's okay." He said, sounding a bit Hurt. I only gave him a look as if he were stupid. "I just wanted to see you graduate. Me and Kate are here-" "Kate? Remarried already, huh?" I scoffed. "Alex, it's been almost fifteen years. I moved on. Why can't you and June do the same? Even at Nick's funeral, you couldn't even talk to me.." "Don't talk to me about moving on." I said angrily, standing up and beginning to pace around. "Why did you come by." I demanded. "... I just wanted to see my boy graduate." He sighed, standing up and producing a small envelope. "I'm proud of you, son. And I wanted to give you a gift," He told me, handing me the envolope. "What is this?" I asked, opening the seal. Inside was a check- a quite generous one. "Your college tuition, paid in full. Probably some extra just in case, what with your birthday coming up next month, I figured it'd be appropriate." He said with a smile. I looked at it, then back at him, my face cold and unmoving. "... I don't want your money." I told him. "Lex, really, it isn't a big deal, go ahead and take it-" "I said I don't want it." I insisted angrily. "Alex, please, just take it. Ever since you were just a kid your mother wouldn't let you accept the money I would send, so please-" "That's because I didn't need money! I needed a father!" I shouted, surprising everyone in the room- myself included. "What did you want me to do, Alex? Stay and be miserable? For your mother to be miserable? We both know you wouldn't want that!" He retorted. "No! Of course not! But when something is broken, you fix it, not just throw it away! Turn your back on your family, just move to the opposite side of the country!" I cried out. There was a moment of silence, but then, I ripped up the check and tossed it aside. "Go." I whispered. "Son..." He said softly, reaching out to me. I jerked back, avoiding his touch like the plague. "Go... I'm not your son..." I sniveled. He got the hint, and nodded, stepping towards the front door. He stopped and looked back at me with a small smile. "I'm very proud of you. You've grown into a fine young man. Your mother's very proud of you, too. Goodbye." He said. "... Thanks." I huffed. I heard the door close, and stood still, letting my hair cover my eyes like a veil. Someone approached me, and I saw it was Gray. "... Alex, I..." Gray began. "I'm sorry." "Ya know, actually, this works out better. Now there won't be a surprise come graduation day." I said confidently, though judging by the look on Gray's face, he was about convinced as I was that I was alright at the moment. The girls all stood up, remaining quiet, but they were looking back and forth between me and Gray. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to approach me, and outstretched her arm by just a bit, but didn't budge. "Alex, it's alright to be angry." Dana told me. I chuckled and shook my head. "Heh. Why should I be angry? I mean, at least he gave me a proper goodbye this time, ya know?" I sighed. "Still, Alex, I'm sorry, I mean, I wish I could-" "You know, guys, there's nothing you have to do, alright? Not like I'm still a kid, asking my brother and my mom why dad left. I mean, I did fine without him, right?" I asked, still smiling, but I felt my breath become quicker. The girls and Gray all nodded in response to my question. "I learned how to throw my first baseball without the bum, I learned how to drive- mind you my brother helped- I learned how to fight without him, right man?" I asked quickly, though didn't give Gray enough time to do more than just nod. "I had almost fifteen awesome birthdays without him, he never so much as fucking called, though, so he can just go to hell!" I screamed, looking at the door where he had just exited. Grayson looked at me, tears brimming in his eyes, as he stared at me. Dana approached Gray's side, and I noticed they were all looking at me the same. Those horrible, tearful, sympathetic eyes that wanted nothing more than to just make all my pain vanish. My emotional wall began to crumble, and I scoffed. "I didn't need him then, and I don't need him now." I hissed, beginning to walk away. "Alex, wait-" Gray called, going to grab me by the arm, but I jerked it away from him before he could hold me back. "No, Gray, you know what? I don't fucking need that guy. I'm going to get through college without him. I'm gonna make a career, I'm gonna make a name for myself without his help! And I'm going to find the girl of my dreams and marry her, and I'm gonna have a little boy and little girl with her, a whole bunch of kids, and I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was! And I sure as hell don't need him for that! Because there isn't a fucking thing he can tell me about how to love my kids!" I shouted, tears pricking at my eyes. They fell from my eyes like a busted faucet, and Gray was staring at me, into my eyes, with so much pain and hurt. "Alex..." Fluttershy whispered, walking to Gray's side and grasping my hand. I looked down at her, crying silently, before looking back up at Gray. "...How come he doesn't want me, Gray?" I croaked. I was about to fall to my knees to just sob there and wallow in my pain, but Grayson shot his arms out and pulled me into a tight embrace, holding onto me as we both cried. That night, we tried to forget that everything in the past couple of hours hadn't even happened, but there was enough awkward silence to last me a lifetime, so Gray and Dana decided to head home. "We'll look for more places tomorrow, Alex." Dana said, patting me on the shoulder. Though, that wasn't enough for her, so she pulled me into another embrace. "You're gonna be okay." She said with a sniffle. I chuckled lightly, hugging her back. "Thanks, Dana. I'll see you at school." I told her. She broke the embrace, and headed into Gray's car. I sighed and leaned against the doorway, watching them drive off into the night, before a soft touch grabbed at my hand. "Are you alright, Alex?" Fluttershy asked, looking up at me with concerned eyes. "...No." I answered truthfully. "But, don't worry about me. I'll be fine, eventually." I said quietly. I moved a strand of hair out of her face. I leaned down to give her a quick peck on the lips, and she smiled sweetly. "If you insist. Now, come on. We should go to bed. We only have a few weeks left of school, so let's just get it over with." She said gently, leading me into the room. I didn't get a wink of sleep that night, to be honest, but it gave me time to do some thinking. I had gotten along just fine without the guy. To be honest, I can't remember thinking about any of the things I had told Gray, but it was all true. James left me and my brother almost fifteen years ago. Did I need him? Hell no. We got along just fine without that prick, and I turned out alright. Sure, there were a few slip ups, things could have gone differently, but I was still a better person. I learned how to be a man without him- a real man. Not just some schmuck who tried to hide all of my pain. And I'll be a better father than him. Father... I turned my head to look at Fluttershy, who was sleeping peacefully in the bed next to me, albeit with her hair strewn across her face. I smiled, and grabbed at her hands, and sighed. What if...Just, what if this all works out. I manage to marry the girl of my dreams, regardless of where she hails from. I'll be happy. I'll be a good husband. And I'll be there for my kids. I'll be a good father. A damn good father. Normally, I like to learn from my mistakes. But, since I've yet to make any in this particular department, I'll just learn from James.