//------------------------------//
// Deus Ex Lapide 
// Story: A Tale of Two Lunas 
// by Everythingpossible 
//------------------------------//

“Are… are you sure about this, Princess?” Twilight said. As per her orders, the six friends from Ponyville were now gathered around the statue of Discord, which now lay back in its original place in the Royal Gardens, albeit posed differently than before. He was never fearful or hesitant in his petrification, but faced eternal imprisonment with a wry smile.
“I am not entirely certain, but this is our last chance. Whenever you are ready, Twilight” Princess Celestia replied. She and Luna Lovegood were positioned a safe distance behind the statue and the mane six.
Looking around at her friends, who all wore a similar expression of doubt, she gave a nod. The golden tiara on her purple hair began to glow with a blinding aura. The six ponies rose slightly into the air. Pulses of light emerged from all six Elements, and a rainbow-coloured band of energy connected them all. This band moved slowly inward, until it closely enveloped the statue. The colourful tornado began to spin faster and faster, until the stone began to crack. There was a blinding flash, and Discord, the ancient deity of chaos, stood where the granite monolith once was.
“Ugggghhhhhh…… just when I was getting comfortable” he said sarcastically, streching his back. 
“Discord” Twilight said, with austerity.
“Oh, you remembered my name. How touching” he quipped. “Truly the magic of friendship shines brighter than the sun”, he said, casting his gaze at Celestia. 
“And who do we have here?” he added, slithering into the sky and coming face-to-face with Luna Lovegood. He extended a scaly talon. “I’d like to thank you for your services. I am forever in your debt”.
As Luna hesitatingly raised her hand to shake his upper appendage, Celestia magically jerked the draconequus away, until they were staring each other in the eyes.
“Oh, Celestia, mon coup de soleil,” he said, “you never change”.
“This is not the time for funny business, Discord”.
“Funny business!?” he chortled. “Who said anything about funny business!?”
“If you don’t cooperate, you’re going to be wishing to be petrified in stone”.
Discord frowned. “Your sense of humour is still dead as a doornail, I see. Now, what can I do for you, mon petit âne?”
“We need you to use your powers to open up the portal again” Rainbow Dash chimed in.
“My… my… powers? Oh, that’s a laugh” he said, breaking the princess’ grasp and flying back towards the mane six. “You see, Dashie, I’m not a can of green beans. You can’t just freeze and reheat me as much as you like, if you still want me to be fresh”.
“Oh, be quiet!” Twilight couldn’t help saying. “That’s a lie and we know it!”
“I’m afraid not, Miss Sparkle. You see, I overheard your little conversation. The problem with your theory is this: I’m just too weak. I stopped being the most powerful being in this cruddy dimension ages ago”.
“Liar” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m also afraid that my enormous ego would prevent me from degrading myself in any way unless it were true. so there you have it. I’m weak. Schwach. Powerless.”
“Well, if you’re not the most powerful, then who is?” Pinkie Pie said, confused.
“I don’t know”.
“...Another lie” said Rainbow.
“Oh, go ahead. Use one of your truth spells of friendship, or whatever. Hit me with your best shot. I swear by Celestia’s beard that I’m telling the truth”.
Twilight looked to her mentor for approval. Princess Celestia nodded, gritting her teeth in animosity. Remembering a spell from Starswirl’s Principiæ Magickus, she unleashed it upon Discord, whose mouth became a waterfall of unstoppable veracity.
“Well, Miss Lovegood has romantic feelings for her friend Harry, but doesn’t know what to say. Applejack is planning to bribe the tax collector with cider. Pinkie Pie sometimes puts Splenda in her cupcakes because she ate all the sugar. Season Four won’t start until next October. Fluttershy has tail extensions. Rarity has gymnophobia. Rainbow Dash writes Daring Do fanfiction (very bad fanfiction, I must say), Princess Celestia uses generic-brand horn polish, and you, Twilight, you often force your pet dragon (whose name I misremember) to construct a fort made of books in which you pretend you’re a princess. Oh, and I don’t know whom the most powerful magical being in the universe is.”
All eight of the others stood with their mouths agape, looking at each other confused and aghast.
“Book forts?” Rainbow Dash inquired of Twilight.
“Season Four?” Fluttershy wondered to herself.
“Fanfiction!?” Rarity solicited Rainbow Dash.
“You’re afraid of gyms‽” Pinkie Pie said to Rarity.
“How do you know all of this?” Twilight said.
“I read” Discord replied. “You wanted the truth, and you got it”.
They all looked at each other again, still bewildered by what Discord had said. Princess Celestia, wanting to stop the confusion, stepped forward.
“You have been useful, Discord, and for that we thank you. However, your services are no longer needed. Goodbye”.
“That’s all? You just interrogate me, and then send me back? Oh, you’ll pay for this, Celestia. I’m going to come back, powerful as ever, and I’m going to kill you, you son of a–” he said, his monologue cut off by the transformation of his vocal chords into solid granite.
“What do we do now, Princess?” Twilight asked after the statue had been restored to its normal place.
“Honestly, Twilight…” she said,

“I have no idea”.