Shift, what are you talking about? Alter hissed on the hive chat.
Relax, I got this, Plan B never fails.
Alter's face was now contorting with rage. SHIFT! THERE IS NO BUCKING PLAN B!
Shift merely shrugged, his personal way of saying that he wasn't paying anymore heed to his brother's overreactive dramatization. Meanwhile, one of the guard's stepped up, his horn glowing a bright green as he spoke in his gruff, stern tone."You better have a good reason why I shouldn't just blow your head off right now changeling."
"Ummmmm," Shift gulped, "because, we are, ummmmm, salesponies!"
Sales-what!? Alter glared at his brother. Everyone was listening now, hearing the argument between the two brothers as if they were broadcasting it to the entire world in some very cheesy sitcom.
"Salesponies?" the guard mumbled, "and just why in the name of Celestia would you expect me to believe that?"
"Because it's true!" Shift cried aloud, although his mind was already doing somersaults in the vain effort to find explanations. He hadn't anticipated this kind of mess to happen. Alas, he usually didn't have this problem. Most of the time, he was able to disguise himself as a pony in a fairly normal, or non-competitive setting. Morpheus was the one who always got chased out, his flank being torched before he flew off faster then a pegasus late for a Wonderbolts game.
"Well, you see," Shift began to look up at the sky, as if the stars had an answer. "Well we-we left the hive."
"Left the hive eh?" the guard said sarcastically, causing some of his partners to chuckle. "You just-" he lifted his hooves to demonstrate-"got up one day and said 'Hey! Let's leave and be salesponies and deceive a ton of guards while playing DDR!'"
Shift blushed in embarrassment while his brother grew a deep crimson red. If Shift did get out of this, and managed to explain to Transparence and his Queen why he failed, he would still have to deal with his brother. Alter, I'm gonna need some help? Did that shopkeeper by any chance have any odd looking artifacts?
Alter nodded, replying to his brother in their Hivechat. Yes, in fact you could say he has enough to open a museum on Useless Knick Knacks.
Shift gave a sly grin. In that case when I say the codeword "cure" you just teleport one of those thingys to me ok?
Alter gave his brother a dumbstruck look. I can't just teleport!
Perhaps I can help Another voice chimed in. It didn't take a genius to recognize Transparence when she was addressing her soldiers. You continue with your little charade. I want to see where this goes.
Shift took in a deep breath, for he had two things to worry about now. "Well, don't you want to know what we're selling?"
"Entertain us..." one of the guards growled.
Shift took a step forward, before flashing into a gargantuan hydra. Half the guards squealed in horror while the other half pulled up their spears, eyes glinting with rage. "Get back changeling!"
Before a single tip penetrated Shift's skin, the changeling flashed back to his normal form. "As you can see, you guys were pretty scared by that right?"
"Buck you!" a voice screamed from the back. Some of the guards murmured in agreement. Despite the large, golden helmets, most of the guards didn't look all too intimidating. Most of them had skinny hooves or chunky bodies, something that a changeling would know about.
"Well then my question is 'How does Equestria's Finest prepare themselves for an encounter with such a rare and gruesome creature?'" Most of the guards shrugged, some said a spear or a spell, while another said he'd just buck it in the face.
"Well gentlecolts and mares," Shift proclaimed slyly, "I have the cure!" With another flash a brown necklace suddenly formulated out of thin air, causing a few stallions to give "oos" and "ahhs." It was carved out of oak wood, and fashioned in the odd shape of a banana.
"This," Shift proudly announced, "is the Intimidator 3000!"
However, most of the guards gave Shift doubtful glances at the wooden trinket. "That thing looks about as intimidating as my granny's mystery casserole!" Some of the guards chuckled at the comment, causing Shift to narrow his eyes once more.
"Don't allow your eyes to be deceived!" Shift once again shouted in his orator's voice, "this priceless antique will make any monster of Equestria cringe in fear. Why in fact, I too am cringing in fear!"
Cringe in fear Alter.
After darting one more hateful glance at his brother, Alter began to back off, moaning like some zombie who lost himself in the woods for the 100th time.
The guards were all now nodding in agreement, perhaps at the antique's power. "You see gentlecolts! This amulet is by far invincible-"
"If it wasn't pilfered from Erasmus' shop!" a stallion shouted back.
Shift stared blankly at the source of the voice. "Why, you dare call me a liar? And a thief? I've never heard such scandalous insults in my life!"
"Save it for the dungeon," the guard in front growled, "you two are both coming with me."
Well it looks like Plan B failed.
Shift was now backing away, his eyes widening in fear. "Oh shoot. Oh shoot. Oh shoot."
"Time for Plan C?" Alter suggested, his horn already glowing.
"Yeah," Shift growled, "Let's-"
"RUN AWAAAAAYYYYYY!!!"
And with that Alter took off like a rocket, dodging the flashes of bright blue energy as they chased him across the night sky. Shift merely watched for a good ten seconds before screaming. "ALTER! You insolent peace of resin you! This is why we can't have nice things! You always leave me to do the fighting and then loot them like some bucking mage in a magic shop."
There was a momentary silence before the guards resumed their steady trot forward. "Don't move a sec-" But before they could finish their sentence, there was a green flash followed by a loud boom. Guards were thrown in all directions, flying over houses and startled ponies. Even Shift was pushed into the wall, his head whizzing as he attempted to regain consciousness. The sound of hay sizzling on a frying pan was followed by the insane cackle of a very familiar Trottingham accent.
"Guess whose BUCKING BACK!?" Shift could only shake his head, already regretting this entire night, "For the love of Chrysalis please don't tell me it's him!" As if on cue, a jet-black changeling emerged from the smoke, his eyes bright and his fin still giving off green puffs of smoke. "How's it going Shift? Alter said you needed an ally and well..." The changeling raised his hooves in mock praise, "...HERE I AM! Morpheus Bloom, you're future hero extraordinair! Anyhow, I was wondering if you had that copy of Daring Do-"
A purple blast of energy whizzed past Morpheus' head, causing the changeling to duck as the brick wall behind them collapsed in a torrent of bricks, clay, and tomes. "Well call me a lovestuck toad, that was close-"
Shift grabbed the annoying changeling by his ear and dashed through the new exit as magical blasts grazed their carapaces, causing the roof to fall over and form a blockade. The inside of the building appeared to be the remnants of a former library, the books scattered all over the floor. Inside, Alter was already waiting. Shift merely shoved past his brother.
Alter grinned and gave a laugh, "What? Can't accept that fact that you may have a good friend watching out for you?" Shift had to admit the idea was grand, as Morpheus was the master of escaping with style, if you considered style a heart-wrenching experience of magical blasts, 5000 bits in property damage, as well as a couple of agonizing wounds in the morning.
"Well Morpheus," Shift hissed, "what's the plan?" At this, Morpheus flopped his ears down, playing with his hooves as he stared at the floor. "Well I-"
"Don't tell me that you just broke your cover without-"
"IT WAS A SPUR OF THE MOMENT SHIFT!" Morpheus cried out, "I don't do escort missions!"
Shifter had to admit Morpheus Bloom had just come out of the bloom, no pun intended, and that if he had anytime at all for devising an escape plan, it was going to involve some sort of shootout. The three changelings stood huddled in the library, their ears straining to hear the sounds of hooves clashing on cobbled pavement. They were surrounded on all sides.
"Well this is brilliant," Shift cried sarcastically, "what's the next part of your master plan Morpheus?" The changeling gave Shift a menacing glare before trotting towards a wooden desk near the library's grand window. Rummaging through the bottom drawer, he produced several bottles of ink, paper, and duct tape. Then with a quick kick from his hind legs, he reduced the desk to kindle, taking the two legs with him.
"Alright," Morpheus explained, laying all the supplies on the wooden floor before the brothers, "here's Plan Ink-rony as I like to call it. This library has a bell tower we can use to sneak away without much trouble-"
"Wait," Shift interrupted, "how do you even expect that to work? I mean we can't just expect them to leave us alone after we make a hasty escape."
Morpheus moved his hoof to silence the changeling, "In a minute! I'm getting to that. So, to make sure we aren't followed, I've devised some distraction we can use to keep them occupied.
Although the light was barely adequate enough to illuminate the room, Morpheus' grin was visible enough to cause Alter and Shift to cock their heads in confusion.
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Glisten Mane was watching the red-brick building like a hawk. The brown stallion had assembled a sizable force of thirty mares and colts to make a 30-yard radius around the building. There was now way the changelings could escape. In the morning, he would file the incident to Princess Celestia. The recent strings of changeling activity could indicate possible movements from the south, and if they didn't react, Equestria could be harmed.
As he trotted down the road, he made a turn for Erasmus' shop. It was apparent the changelings had been there, presumably to retrieve an artifact that the old collector must have stumbled upon. There was no doubt in his mind that Erasmus made enemies on a daily basis. Not only was he responsible for theft in three cities, but he also had a knack for selling it all at absurd prices that no pony in their right mind would pay. The only reason the shopkeeper thrived on anything was because of the herbs he collected and the retirement plan he received when he taught in Manehattan University.
The shop was locked, but a slight click broke the flimsy device and the door swung open. Everything appeared to be in order. The knick-knacks were still in their spots, no real disturbance other then on the bed and a few of Erasmus' personal belongings. Sighing, the guard closed the door and went to meet up with the patrol.
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"Are you ready?" Morpheus seemed to be counting his hooves, making sure that his recent skirmish hadn't added any new ones.
"How do we know they're coming, Morpheus?" Alter checked the back, as if fearing for the life of him it wouldn't collapse in a torrent of angry unicorns.
"Trust me," Morpheus answered solemnly, his eyes glazed over as if he was in some kind of demented trance,"they're coming."
And with that, the changeling expertly-or rather cinematically (you know what, this is Morpheus we're talking about so just forget about how he kicks a door open because it isn't anything grand)- kicked the door(oh shoot spoiler alert...) open. Rushing past the winding pillar of stairs, the three eventually came to a halt, pushing past the wooden door that led to the bell tower. A gust of cold air blew past them as they all let out an involuntary shiver.
The top of the bell tower did leave an amazing view of the town. Alter gaped at the view, where tiny little huts and two story houses were still dark, the last gleams of light fading into the black. Ahead, Luna's magnificent night sky shined with the brightness of millions of stars.
"Talk about a view," Morpheus commented, his eyes absorbing each constellation.
Shift and Alter rolled their eyes, "Stop day dreaming about Princess Luna and help us out of here." They had spoken this statement simultaneously. Changeling twins, or those born from the same egg, usually had a knack for sensing if one was in trouble, but they also had a knack for saying the same thought simultaneously as well, a rare occurrence.
Morpheus stuck his tongue out. "Let's just get this over with. I don't need Chrysalis to start pulling my fin out again for this one!"
He motioned to the edge, where already several guards were forming a perimeter. It was evident that they were still distracted, but it would only take a few minutes before they realized they had been deceived. Taking in a deep breath, the twins turned to their current savior. "Morpheus if you buck this-"
"You can sit here and complain or you can haul flank and follow me." Morpheus laid out their options bluntly, no longer amused with the idea of an escape mission. Sighing to themselves, the brothers agreed and with that, they began to mentally count down.
1...
Morpheus was kicking the dust off his hooves. Meanwhile, one of the guards was backing against the front entrance ready to kick the door down.
2...
The sound of wood being reduced to splinters as the thunder of hooves rushed into the library caused Shifter to tense up.
3...
All three changelings leapt off the building, and before they plopped onto the ground to make flap-jacks, there was an audible, irritating buzzing that began to propel them higher and higher. The beat of their wings were now going a hundred beats per second, rising to a thousand in another minute as they took off.
"Sayonara suckers!" Morpheus waved back at the shrinking town in the distance, "I'll see you next time!" Alter and Shift wished dearly to smack their fellow changeling in the snout, but decided that such an action would only lead to all three plummeting to their death below.
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"Halt! Criminal Scum!" Glisten Hoof fired barrage after barrage of magical energy into the changelings inside. Soon, every guard was following suit. When they were sure they had subdued the trio, the captain ordered his troops to cease fire.
The library was in total disarray, the books lying idly around as pages floated lifelessly in the air, their edges singed off. The stallion grinned. No one could have survived that.
Carefully taking steps in case a changeling was still moving, the stallion raised his hoof-cuffs in the air. "You three are in a whole load of-WHAT!"
Where the three changelings should have been were three torn pieces of parchment, holes littered in their body as he made out the distinctive shapes he had seen earlier.
They crudely-drawn changelings, the ink still fresh, as the stallion held one up for all to see. Upon closer inspection, the drawing was terrible, looking like it had been drawn by a filly. But underneath it, he noticed that someone had bothered to scrawl a message on the other side.
Sorry you can't follow us, but this place is too dimensional!
The next thing anypony heard were the heart-wrenching roars of a manticore trapped in a cage.
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"I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE BUCK HAPPENED BACK THERE!" he yelled, his blue eyes scanning all three changelings like they had just revealed the hive's location to Canterlot. Supervisor Captain Shape Lock was furious. He had been awoken to the news that a library in their current assignment had been demolished by three supposed changelings and that the whole town was on high alert. Now, he had to pull the entire squad out, replace them with their real counterparts, and find another town to siphon love from.
"Well sir-" Morpheus began optimistically, before being shouted into submission.
"NO! MORPHEUS! YOU I'D FIGURED WOULD GET INTO THIS!" The supervisor turned to face the twins,"BUT YOU TWO? ALTER AND SHIFTER? YOU TWO KNOW BETTER!"
Alter and Shift were seemingly more distracted with their hooves then the officer in front of them. This was perhaps the first time they'd ever failed field duty, and there would be a whole lot of explaining to do.
"I GIVE YOU THREE ONE JOB!" the supervisor held out his hoof, although one was about as far as he could go anyway, "ONE JOB! AND YOU THREE IMBECILES MANAGE TO BUCK IT UP SO HARD I HAVE TO CALL BACK THE ENTIRE FORCE FOR THE WEEK!"
Morpheus raised his hoof to speak out, but decided to lower it after getting another menacing glare from the supervisor. Alter and Shifter didn't know what to think. They were, in all regards, a little perturbed at each other to even attempt to defend their reasoning.
"AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THE NEXT FIELD DUTY ASSIGNMENT!" the supervisor berated, "CAUSE YOU THREE HAVE BUCKED EVERYTHING UP FOR OUR INVASION! UNTIL FURTER NOTICE, ALL THREE OF YOU ARE ON SUSPENSION! YOU'LL REMAIN AT YOUR TYPICAL HIVE DUTIES FOR THE REST-AND I MEAN IT- REST OF THIS INVASION!"
The supervisor stormed off, his hooves clicking and clacking as he went. All three changelings were speechless, unable to fathom the fact that they were being put on suspension. After a while, Morpheus decided to lay a reassuring hoof on the two.
"Hey," Morpheus said in a gentle tone, "Cap's Lock is just grumpy, that's all. He just woke up, so it isn't your fault he's going all verbal on you."
Shift eyed Morpheus with an unconvinced look, "Morpheus, Captain Lock was furious, and in a moment, Transparence is probably going to come here and give us a verbal-"
"Well well," the familar voice of Transparence echoed, "if it isn't the three stooges."
They began to look around them, scanning for the source of the noise. Behind them, emerging from the shadows, Transparence quietly buzzed forth, her icy blue eyes unimpressed as her three subordinates arched their heads around. "I see Shape Lock has belittled you to hatchlings again."
Alter once again resumed his staring contest with the floor as Shift spoke, "Listen Trancy, if you're here to lecture us on changeling etiquette I'd suggest-"
"That you don't jump conclusionssss," Transparence finished with an irritated hiss, "No, rather then howl at you three, I'm actually going to state something positive."
Alter looked up, a perplex look on his face, "What do you mean-"
"It was a well-executed escape option," Transparence explained nonchalantly, "and rather entertaining too. From the explanation of the salesponies to the ridiculous drawing Morpheus attempted to master on paper. I will say that you were definitely resourceful."
The changelings seemed to smile before Transparence continued, "But now I'm going to say something harsh." And with that, all three dropped their grins.
"You three cost us another resource we cannot afford to lose. Time. We're going to need more time now before we can get this invasion running. But make no mistake, you three are still going with us, whether you like it or not. Have a good day." With that Transparence took off into the shadows, leaving them once more by themselves.
"Well that sucked," Morpheus finally muttered, already trotting off towards his hive chamber in C, "I'm going to hit the hay. Got a busy day if old Caps Lock is really going to carry this threat out. See ya!"
And with that the changeling waved back at the two brothers, who only continued to glare with complete malice. As soon as Morpheus left, however, the brother's dropped their scowls and began to gloomily walk back to their chamber.
"You know what really sucks?" Alter croaked, speaking for the first time since they got here.
"What?" Shift questioned.
Alter sighed, "As Erasmus, I found out that he had a stash of video games, all new too! But then I got a sense you were in danger and so I left the games at the bedside table, where it sticks out like a diamond in a crate of oranges."
Shifter wanted to scream, but it was late and no changeling wanted a disturbance at 4 am in the morning anyhow. "You gotta be kidding me, we would have been set for life!"
As the two reached their chamber, Alter carefully checked the glowing crystal and vents to make sure they still had power. Thankfully, the vents were just as powerful as they were before, and the lights were left on.
"Well," Shift stretched his hooves," I don't know about you but this changeling could sure use some beauty SLEEEEEPPPPP!" At that moment, Shift tripped over a large, cardboard box, landing snout first on the floor.
"What-" Alter rushed forward, rubbing his eyes in disbelief. Upon carefully lifting the top, there was a sense of elation so sweet that the changeling was already feeding his own love reserves.
"Shift," Alter spoke, "look!"
Shift scrambled to his hooves to see what had caught his brother's attention. Upon gazing into the box, however, he too began to drool. "Alter...we've found the motherload!"
Sure enough, the box was filled with a colorful array of countless games. They ranged from every platform, to small receipts, to even gift cards to use on Steam. It was clear that this was Erasmus' collection, but how it got here and why would remain a mystery for now. Not that the two brothers cared anyway! No longer having to worry about field duty, they would have all the time in the world to play! Goodbye Tartarus Rises! Hello STEAM SALE!
"I'm in heaven..." and with that Alter fainted.