"This isn't fair." Grumbled the filly Draconequus as she stared out at the rocky lunar surface.
"I know," added Princess Luna. "You make your first attempt at eternal night in a few hundred years, and they send you to the moon for an hour."
"I wasn't even part of it." Discord added as he lay flatly on the rocky terrain. "I just wanted toast."
The three gods stared out at Equestria so very far away from them. Two of them, in a fit of boredom and the side effects of a sugar binge, had attempted to over throw the government, both of which they were ruling members of. Discord however, had accidentally walked into the entire affair in an attempt to find some food.
"Luna." The larger Draconequus grumbled as he rolled over
"Yes?" The Lunar Alicorn responded as she unfolded a large lounging chair she had conjured from some unknown place.
"Why do you hate me?"
"What makes you think I hate you?" The Alicorn continued as she summoned a rather large sun hat and glass of cold lemonade.
Discord wasn't sure what to make of the sight. Normally trips to the moon ended in Luna and Nightmare heading to their 'Lunar Castle' as they called it. Neither Celestia, Lucid or himself had ever heard about it's contents, let alone seen the interior. Now his mind began to wander away from his original question as he began to think of its possible contents and the reason fo-
"Equestria to Discord, come in Discord!" Luna shouted as she pelted him with small lemon pieces. "Why do you think I hate you?" The Goddess asked as she summoned another lemon piece for her drink.
"You used me as a living shield." The Draconequus stated bluntly as he turned to reveal two small daggers in his back.
"Sorry, dad!" Came a shout from Lucid as she continued to build her 'sand' castle.
"That's not because I hate you, that's because you were the closest thing to me." Luna answered causally as she conjured two more drinks for Lucid and Discord. "I mean, when your daughter suggested we take over, I hadn't expected Celestia to respond so harshly."
"You're joking." Discord said flatly as he stared at the Goddess. "You poisoned Nightmare and Celestia's drinks and taught my daughter how to make high powered explosives." Discord paused for a second as he thought about that last part. With a flash of light he disappeared and reappeared by the Draconequus filly.
"Watchya doin?" Discord asked as he crouched down.
"Making a sand Canterlot." The filly answered without taking her eyes off of her project. A rather small, yet exact, replica of Canterlot sat in front of her. After a few more seconds she placed down a small red flag and stood up. "Hey dad?"
"Yeah kiddo?"
"Run!" shouted as she ran towards her aunt.
It took Discord a few seconds before he noticed the faint ticking sound that seemed to be emanating from within the small castle. Without hesitation Discord followed in his daughter's footsteps. For once, the God of Chaos managed to have some luck as he made it to safety just in time.
"Three... two... one..." Lucid and Luna counted down in unison. As they hit zero, Discord found himself both blinded and deafened as Lucid's homemade explosive engulfed the tiny castle and continued to expand before collapsing back in on itself. As both his hearing and sight returned to him, the stunned Draconequus stared in complete awe at the crater that sat in front of the group.
"Too much creation magic, not enough stability." Luna said as she surveyed the damage.
"Aw, I thought I had it that time." Lucid said with a sigh as she picked up the small scorched flag from the ground.
"First off," Discord began, "I'm proud of you, Lucid, you managed to take down both your aunt and your mother in a single blast." Discord hadn't been prepared when his wife had exploded in the middle of dinner, but that kind of thing was something you get used to when you've lived forever. "Secondly, Luna, I'm deeply disappointed in you. Why wasn't I informed of this beforehand? You know how much I enjoy an old-fashioned hostile takeover."
"Actually, Dad," Lucid began awkwardly as she played with her talons. "Mom was in on the plan."
"So why did you poison her and then blow her up?" Discord asked as he tried to figure out what possible reason Nightmare would have to kill herself in a takeover.
Both Luna and Lucid took some time as they continued to shift their gaze back and forth between each other, each of them letting out an awkward chuckle as they hoped the other would be the first to try and answer his question. After roughly a minute of awkward silence Luna was the first to speak up.
"We weren't trying to poison her; we were trying to poison you." Luna finished as she continued to stare awkwardly at the ground. "We thought it would be cheating if we only took out Celly."
"So you tried to murder me?" The Chaos god asked flatly.
"Actually, no." Luna beamed as she conjured a scroll and unrolled it. Apparently Lucid had drawn up the plan in crayon.
"Lucid," Discord said firmly. "Did you plan to kill me?"
"Nope!" Lucid answered as she started work on her next castle. "Mom did."
Discord once again unrolled the scroll and began reading through Lucid's crayon drawn plan for overthrowing the government and taking control of Equestria. He felt a jolt of joy when he read Lucid's plan to take out Celestia, He especially enjoyed her plans to spread cheese across the lands. As he reached the bottom of the page he noticed the small scratched out piece of text obviously done by his wife.
"Poison Discord, make him sleep on couch." He read aloud. "What did I do?" He muttered in confusion.
"Anniversary." Lucid and Luna answered in unison.
"Oh, by the Abyss." Discord whispered as he placed his paw over his mouth.
-Meanwhile back in Canterlot-
"Wow." Chrysalis muttered in awe as she entered the royal dining hall. She had taken some time off from her royal duties and had made her way down from the Changeling Empire to check up on her unholy ex-roommates. The guards had escorted her to the dining hall, where she had expected a warm welcome. Instead, she found herself at the scene of some unspeakable horror show.
The room itself seemed to still be mostly intact, except a few chucks of pillars that had been apparently blown away. In the center of the room she could make out the remnants of what appeared to be a large oak table. Several of the large wooden chairs and cushions had either been shattered or thrown about the room in large heaps.
Finally the most horrifying part of the show were the pieces of Alicorn strewn about the room. A large white horn had impaled the chandelier that lit the room. Beneath the table, what appeared to be Celestia's jewellery and one of her legs lay in a pool of blood. Several patches of both white and black bloodied fur were scattered around the room.
"Hey, Moony, I found your head!" Shouted Celestia as she darted up from beneath one of the many piles of wood and other junk. Chrysalis jumped in surprise; the scene had to have been older than she had thought for them to have already regenerated. "Hey, Chrysalis!" The Sun Goddess causally shouted as she tossed the bloodied head to the black Alicorn on the other side of the room.
"Hello, Chrysalis!" The pristine black Alicorn greeted as she caught the exact - if only slightly damaged - copy of her head and slowly lowered into the pile of what appeared to be more copied pieces of her body. "Heads up!" the Lunar Goddess shouted as she tossed a red stained leg towards the Sun Goddess.
"Am I interrupting anything?" The Changeling Queen asked awkwardly as continued to watch the two Goddess exchange bloodied body parts that they found.
"Not really." Celestia responded as she continued to sort through the rubble on the floor. "We're just cleaning up." she finished casting a glare towards Nightmare.
"Hey!" Nightmare retorted. "I suggested the poison, I didn't suggests the explosives!"
"Do I actually want to know what happened?" The slightly worried Queen asked as continued to survey the scene before her.
"Not reall-" Nightmare attempted to say before being abruptly cut off by Celestia.
"Nightmare here, my sister, and Lucid thought it would be a good idea to try and take over Equestria." Celestia finished by throwing one of Nightmare's legs at the black Alicorn.
"So you blew yourself and Celestia up?" Chrysalis asked as she cast Nightmare a confused look.
"No, why in the green fields of Equestria does everyone keep assuming I'd blow myself up on purpose?" The black Alicorn finished her words in barely a mutter. "I suggested we poison Celestia and Discord's drinks."
"Why Discord? I thought he'd jump at a chance to try and take over Equestria again."
"The foal forgot our anniversary; one hundred and eighty-nine years and he still can't remember a single date." Nightmare finished, doing her best to hide her rage. Oh, but she knew, the moment that idiot got back from the moon, he'd be on the couch for the next week.
"Okay then..." Chrysalis responded awkwardly. "If you didn't suggest try to blow anyone up, then who did?"
"That would be Lucid." Celestia answered with a slight smirk. She was both proud and extremely worried; Lucid was still a child and she had already attempted her first take over. Apparently banishment ran in the family, though high powered bombs was a change of pace. "As far as I can tell, either Luna or Lucid mixed up the trapping and booby trapped Nightmare's set instead of Discord's."
"So where are they, then?" Chrysalis asked as she prodded what appeared to be a hoof.
"Moon." Both of them answered in unison.
"When we finally regenerated they were all long gone," Nightmare continued. "We found both Luna and Lucid eating ice cream. They put up a great fight, and ran for quite some time. Hell, I think Luna used Discord as a living shield. The poor fool was making toast when we chased Luna and Lucid into the room." Nightmare paused and gave a quick shrug. "Works for me though, saves me the trouble of finding him."
Chrysalis bobbed her head as she processed all of what she had just heard and witnessed. "You know, I can honestly say I'm not shocked. Four years living in this place and I'm not surprised, nor do I miss living here."
"Fair enough." Celestia said with a shrug as she tossed another bloody leg towards the midnight Alicorn across the room.
-Back on the Moon-
The two Draconequui stood in front of the massive lunar castle. With a snap of his talons, Discord broke the seals placed on the entrance, and after several seconds the large stone doors stood fully opened.
"Dad, I don't think Aunt Luna or mom wants us to go in here." Lucid stated nervously as she glanced back at her now snoozing aunt.
"Well, they should have thought about that before trying to murder me." Discord answered flatly as he carefully entered the castle. He was well aware of the levels of paranoia Luna and Nightmare could reach when they wanted to keep a secret.
Lucid was conflicted. On one paw, she could get in even more trouble, which was the usual result for following her father. But on the other talon, exploring a castle could be pretty awesome, and on another paw she was already inside the castle closely following her father.
"Dad, what are you looking for?"
"I have no idea." Discord answered. After several seconds of staring a row of doors the God of Chaos did the only illogical thing he could think of for making this decision. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe." When he found his winning door, he slowly began to open it and was met with a sight he hadn't seen in ages.
"Shuggy!" Lucid cheered as the large tentacle quickly shot out and pulled Discord into the room.
"Did someone say Shuggy?" Luna asked as she appeared with a flash. The look of joy on her face was indescribable, however it quickly melted into anger. "Do you know how long I was looking for you?" Scolded the Alicorn.
"Ph'nglui." The indescribable horror gurgled out, with almost a tone of sadness.
"I don't care if you broke Celestia's cactus, I spent a month looking for you." Luna continued angrily.
"Mglw'nafh!" Shuggy responded.
"You had us all worried! I spent a month searching every corner of Equestria. Cthulhu still hasn't stopped searching the Eternal Abyss for you."
"Fhtagn!" The creature hissed.
"Don't you use that kind of language with me, mister." Luna responded. "No, you're gonna put Discord down, march down to the Eternal Abyss and tell Cthulhu you're sorry. When you're done, I want you to go to the corner store and get Celly a new cactus." The Lunar Goddess finished with a stamp of her hoof. "Do I make myself clear?"
"Wgah'nagl" The horror gurgled defensively.
"Oh, r'lyeh?" The Alicorn asked. "Nightmare knew all about this? Well then, I guess she'll need a visit from the Elder Gods. I hope she remembers her way through the Red Fields of Sand and Rock." She finished with a wicked grin.
-Elsewhere in the Eternal Abyss-
"Here, Shuggy! Shug~gy!" Shouted the Elder God as he continued to search through the unheard sounds and forbidden colors.