A Series of Inexplicably Convenient Events
Original Concept Written and Edited by Shanenator
Chapter Two: Something From Nothing, Part Two
*****
Knock.
Why was I doing this? Why was I even answering the door? In hindsight, I really should have just bolted it down and ignored whoever it was that dared disturb my much-needed slumber. Maybe I just wanted to be nice. Maybe I was actually starting to open up a little bit.
Or maybe it’s just incredibly hard to sleep with somepony pounding on your front door.
Knock.
Closer still I drew. I was almost certain I knew who it was. Why me? Why now? Hadn’t they tortured me enough?
Knock.
I paused before the door, hesitating one final time. Dare I open it? Dare I invoke the incredible powers of annoyance that were? Alas, I really had no choice. It was my assignment to make friends, and it would be foolish to throw away five ponies who already consider me their ‘friend.’ I definitely didn’t want to go through that whole process again.
Thunka-thunka-thunka-thunka-thu…
I blinked in confusion. What the heck was that sound? It sounded like somepony was slamming their forehead into the door repeatedly. How…amusing, actually. My curiosity got the better of me and I pulled the door open.
Pinkie Pie.
Of course it was Pinkie Pie. And of course she was totally bonkers enough to slam her forehead into my front door repeatedly. I had little doubt the two occurrences were related. As soon as I opened the door, however, she stopped mid-stroke and immediately straightened up, that admittedly infectious smile plastered on her face. “Heya, Twilight! We need to talk to you about Black Snooty, and it’s REEEAALLLLY important! So, can we come in?”
Can they come in. She wanted to know if the five most intolerable, indolent, incompetent, insidious, insufferable, insipid, interrogative, invasive, insolent, indecent, and inadequate ponies I’d ever had the displeasure of meeting could come in. Ugh. I can’t believe I know this many words that start with ‘in.’ Clearly I study too much. Better cut back.
“No.”
Their faces fell into an assorted motley of frowns, grimaces, and in one case a particularly vicious snarl that should’ve probably frightened me were it not for the colorful shock of hair above it that reminded me of fruity candies.
Hah. So gay.
“Twilight dear, this is quite important! You simply must tell us what you know about Nightmare Moon!” Rarity spoke up. She seemed quite distressed. I suppose I understood why. Making dresses in the dark would probably be just a tad difficult.
However…how the hay did they know that I knew what I knew and still know? “Hey!” I began rather angrily. “How did you know I knew something about Nightmare Moon? Are you all spies or something?”
I suddenly got a faceful of blue fur, rainbow mane, and rose-colored eyes, furrowed in considerable anger to boot. “Hey! Just what IS this so-called prophecy? And how did YOU know about Nightmare Moon, huh? I think the real question is: are YOU the spy?”
And with that line, my internal sensor that measures potential for sarcastic responses went crazy. “Oh yeah, I’m TOTALLY a spy,” I began, rolling my eyes. “I’m the personal student of Celestia, sent to spy on how totally boring your lives are.”
Rainbow looked infuriated. She didn’t buy my response, obviously. But she was getting pretty mad. Which was almost as funny. “Why, you little-woah!”
Applejack decided to intervene and grabbed Rainbow by the tail, yanking her to the ground. “Simmer down, Sally,” she said calmly, spitting out the rainbow-colored tail. “She ain’t no spy.” Rainbow looked about to vehemently contest that point but at the looks she received from the other four she quieted down. “But she sure knows what’s going on, don’t ya Twilight?” finished Applejack.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” I responded snarkily, still quite upset at Rainbow’s outburst. Accusing me of being a spy…the nerve! “You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Pinkie heard ya mutter somethin’ bout a prophecy,” Applejack answered calmly. Wow, she heard that? Impressive. “Twilight,” she continued, her voice remaining comfortably level. “We can all see that somethin’s got yer tail inna knot. Y’all right?”
“All right?” I responded incredulously. “All right?” My voice raised in pitch. Fluttershy backed away a pace. I think my eye twitched. “No, I am not all right!” I bellowed.
Applejack stood her ground. “What’s th’ matter, Twilight? Maybe we can help ya.” The look on my face probably suggested otherwise. She sighed in defeat. “All right, but will ya at least help us out? We’re tryin’ ta prevent eternal night here.”
I scoffed. I opened my mouth, fully prepared to explain why I for one embraced our new overlord, but unfortunately my brain decided to actually function right then. It has an unfortunate habit of doing that. All this studying rubs off on me. Seriously, it’s a bad influence.
Anyways, I finally realized what ‘eternal night’ might actually entail. No sunlight. Which meant no plants. Which meant no food. And I, for one, was rather fond of food. I…I suppose there was no harm in helping them try to prevent ‘eternal night.’ At least they’d get out of my mane once they got the information they desired. Besides…it WAS the right thing to do…and technically I WAS the new librarian…
No words came out of said open mouth. Simply a long, exasperated sigh. I dragged a forehoof across my face in a further sign of my frustrations. “I’m sorry,” I muttered softly, yet still rather unconvincingly. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve gotten any sleep. If I don’t get my sleep I get…grouchy.”
“Grouchy’s an understatement,” Rainbow grumbled. A glare from Applejack silenced her. I decided then and there that I actually rather liked the apple-farming mare. She reminded me of myself a bit: she didn’t put up with stupid.
“All right, I’ll help,” I grumbled in annoyance. My five ‘guests’ all looked a bit more relaxed at that. That actually…kinda felt good. Agreeing to help others.
But only a little bit.
“As a requirement of my studies, I must be a very widely read and perpetually scholarly unicorn…” Oh gosh, Twilight, keep a straight face… “As such, I read about the prophecy in a book called ‘Predictions and Prophecies,’ which is still in the Canterlot library. I did, however, notice a small footnote it had that read ‘see the Elements of Harmony.’ I’ve unfortunately never heard of them before, but there might be a book on those somewhere in here.” I paused and looked around. There were lots and lots and LOTS of books. “Although, it may take a while to find it…”
“The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide,” Pinkie suddenly spoke up.
“Yeah, that’s probably the kind of book we’re looking for,” I responded in a monotone. Gosh that pony could be so dense…
“Yeah, and I found it! It’s right here, see?”
Oh…wow. She actually managed to do something useful. “What? How did you find that?”
“It was under EEEEeeee!” she sang merrily.
“…Oh,” I responded, before chuckling slightly. That’s right! This wasn’t my library, so things were actually where they were supposed to be! Back in Canterlot, whenever Spike and I didn’t feel like re-shelving books properly, which happened a fair amount I must say, we’d just throw the books into the ‘Q’ section. It always seemed lonely.
Or the ‘Z’ or the ‘X’ or the ‘J.’ We’re also big fans of Scrabble.
I took the rather large book from Pinkie and looked it over. “Hmm. I can’t say that I’m familiar with this particular volume. Must not have it up at Canterlot.”
I heard a snicker from Rainbow. “Heh. Well-read, indeed.”
I glared at her. “Oh hush, if I was done with my studies I’d already be a princess or whatever it is Celestia has planned for me.” A sudden cold wind blew in through the door and chilled my spine.
Whoa. Creepy.
“Anyways, let’s see what it says,” I continued huffily, flipping the book open. “There are six Elements of Harmony,” I read from a promising-looking passage. “But only five are known. Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said the last known location of the five Elements was in the ancient castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.” I snapped the book shut with a satisfying *snick* and put it back on the shelf. Under ‘Z.’ Which was what I really wanted at the moment…
“So, there ya go!” I said in what I hoped was a convincingly cheerful voice. I just REALLY wanted these ponies to leave so that I could sleep. Oh, yeah…that would be so wonderful… My thoughts flicked unbidden to the dragon I knew was sleeping upstairs right that moment. My resolve hardened. “I guess you’re all set now, eh? Go get ‘em, champs!”
Applejack tilted her head. “Ya ain’t comin’ with us?”
I dropped all pretense of cordiality and gave her my firmest deadpan stare. I liked her, I really did…but that was a dumb question. “Now why in the wide, wide world of Equestria would I do that?”
Applejack blinked. “Because we gotta try an’ stop Nightmare Moon?”
“No we don’t,” I quipped back.
“Because it’s the right thing to do?” Rainbow butted in angrily.
“Don’t care.”
“Because it would be fun?” Pinkie asked hopefully.
“Oh, please. Don’t make me laugh.”
I…don’t really know what happened next. Pinkie’s mane just…deflated. Like a balloon. I could’ve sworn I even heard the sound of rushing air. She looked really sad too. Why the hay was she sad? Nothing happened! Was it something I said? Not like I cared. But evidently the crazy pink psychopath was bi-polar, too. Great, just what I needed.
“You…don’t want me to make you laugh?” she asked sadly, staring right at me. Were those tears in her eyes? …Wait. All of this…because she misinterpreted my idiom? I…I…
I prayed to Celestia to smite me where I stood. I didn’t want to deal with this complete and utter nonsense anymore. Unfortunately, our beloved ruler hit par for the course and utterly failed to grant my wishes. So now I had to handle the crazy one myself. I wisely opted to ignore her completely.
“Because…” the thoughtful voice of Rarity sounded from near the door. “Well. Princess Celestia is in trouble and you are her personal student! I imagine she would not take kindly to hearing that you didn’t lift a hoof to help her. What is it that teachers do to students they’re displeased with, again? It’s been a while since I went to school…” she trailed off, observing our reactions as she tapped her chin thoughtfully.
Her friends were snickering. Particularly Rainbow. I felt just about ready to explode. “Give them extra homework?” she suddenly asked. My legs froze and my eyes widened.
No…
“Assign more reading, perhaps?”
No, no, no…
“Oh, that’s right! Detention!”
I literally leaped into the air and screamed: “NNNNOOOOOOO!!” The silence following that little outburst was tangible. Everypony looked at me expectantly.
“All right!” I shrieked, throwing my forehooves into the air helplessly. “I’ll help! I’m in! I’ll go with you to the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters! Which just so happens to be in…”
*****
“…THE EVERFREE FOREST??” we all chorused together as we stood before the dark and gloomy woods. I don’t know why I joined in on that. Maybe it was just to make them feel more scared. After all, I’m supposed to be Celestia’s ‘prized student.’ Or something like that. If I was ‘scared,’ then they’d be terrified. In theory, at least. Pinkie’s next outburst disproved that quite handily, however.
“Wheee! Let’s go!”
The others murmured their agreement. I made one final attempt to save my ‘eternal naptime.’ “Do I REALLY have to come along?” I grumbled.
“Well, no,” Applejack replied. “But just think about what Rarity said. Ah think there’s some truth in them words.”
Shuddering at the thought of detention, I steeled my nerves and prepared myself for some actual work. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”
Five minutes later, nothing of interest had yet happened. The forest was dark and pretty creepy-looking. I half-expected something to jump out and attack us any second. My escape plan, should this happen, was as follows: step one, scream like a maniac. Step two: run the buck away. Step three: leave my ‘friends’ to deal with the problem. I’d rather find new ones than be eaten alive in this Celestia-forsaken forest.
“So…” I began, trying to break the awkward silence. For their sake, of course. “None of you have been in here before?”
Rarity gasped as she examined her increasingly unappealing surroundings. “Heavens no! Just look at it, it’s dreadful!”
“And it ain’t natural,” Applejack added. “Folks say it don’t work the same as Equestria.” I paused at that. Being my natural lazy yet awesome self, I hadn’t ever really read into the Everfree forest.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I inquired curiously. Maybe it involved official nap times!
“Nooopony knooows,” Rainbow Dash interjected, drawing out her words in an attempt to be spooky. Her face was covered in shadows, but even those failed to hide her vibrantly colored mane. I shook my head. I doubted I’d ever be able to take her seriously. “You know why?” she continued, creeping along the ground towards a frightened Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie.
“Rainbow, quit it!” Applejack interjected. I gave her an approving look. I suddenly felt a warm feeling deep inside me. Could it be? Have I actually successfully managed to make a friend for the first time in my life? How…surprisingly pleasant, actually.
“’Cause everypony who’s ever come in has never…come…OUT!” Rainbow shouted that last word, making the trio of trembling mares jump slightly. It was then that I realized we were all standing on a rocky outcrop. Which may or may not have been seismically stable.
Naturally, Rainbow’s outburst caused the cliff to give way and for all of us to start plummeting to our dooms. Rainbow and Fluttershy simply took to the air, of course. But I, being a unicorn who was exceptionally poor at magic when under intense stress, could do nothing but helplessly tumble down the rocky hillside.
“Fluttershy, quick!” I heard Rainbow call. I assumed that meant she intended for the two pegasi to help the rest of us. Perhaps unsurprisingly, no pair of hooves came to stop my descent. By the time I managed to finally stop tumbling head over hooves, my eyes widened as I realized I was rapidly approaching a sharp drop.
Releasing a cry of alarm, I twisted about and dug my hooves in the ground in a feeble attempt to slow down. It probably worked, however, as I stopped moving just after my hindquarters and rear legs slipped over the edge. Dangling over a cliff with only my forelegs supporting my weight, I was by now quite panicked. “Help!” I cried.
“Hang on, Ah’m a-comin’!” I heard Applejack cry out. Sure enough, she was deliberately sliding down the hillside towards me and soon grabbed my forehooves with hers. Yes! Thank you my most beloved friend!
“Applejack! Thank you! Quick, pull me up!” I cried desperately. Despite the strength of the hooves gripping me, I felt my own grip failing. This wasn’t surprising. One as lazy as I tends to be unable to support her own slightly-above-average body weight. I saw the strain on Applejack’s face but for some reason she seemed unable to get me to safety. Bad angle? Unstable ground? What? What was it?
“Applejack, I can’t hold on! What do I do?”
Applejack paused for a moment, seeming to stare off into the distance. “Let go,” she suddenly said.
“WHAT?” I cried in utter disbelief. “Are you CRAZY?” Was she actually my friend, or was she just acting the part so she could murder me in cold blood?
“No Ah ain’t!” she protested. “Ah promise you’ll be safe.”
“That’s not true!” I shrieked in terror. “That’s impossible!” My feelings of panic were currently reaching astronomical levels. My grip was fading fast due to my complete lack of upper body strength, and the only thing keeping me from plummeting over a hundred pony-lengths to my death wanted me to do exactly that. Some friend.
“Now listen here,” she began. “What Ah’m sayin’ ta you is th’ honest tru-woah, nelly!”
That was as far as she got. At that point, my strength finally failed me and I lost my grip on the apple farmer’s hooves. And since she was apparently unable to lift me in the first place, she couldn’t hold on and I began to fall. “AAAAAUUUGGH!” I screamed in abject horror as I dropped like a stone.
Suddenly there was a rainbow-colored blur, and I got the wind knocked out of me as my left side impacted something. Looking up, I was rewarded with the sight of a ridiculously wide smirk plastered onto a cyan-furred face. With accompanying fruity mane. Which, I soon realized after understanding the impact caused me to get a mouthful of her mane by accident, actually did taste like fruit. Huh.
“Well, well, well. Looks like it’s a good thing Equestria’s fastest flyer was here to save the day, eh?” she asked jauntily, her grin reminding me of a shark’s. Great. Just great. The first pony I’ve ever considered a friend almost murdered me and now I was indebted to the most insufferable braggart in Equestria. Wonderful.
The world went black.
*****
“And once Pinkie and Rarity were safe, whoosh! Me and Fluttershy looped-the-loop around and WHAM! Caught ya right in the nick of time,” Rainbow gleefully recounted her heroic actions. For the fifth time.
Remember that warm feeling I described earlier?
Yeah…no. That’s currently burning in a fiery pit in Tartarus.
“Yes, Rainbow. You told me already.” I glared at Applejack once again, who simply grinned sheepishly. “It shouldn’t have been necessary in the first place, though. What was up with that?” I angrily asked.
“Ehehe,” Applejack stuttered weakly. “Sorry ‘bout th’ whole droppin’ thing, Twilight, but Ah couldn’t get a good grip ta pull ya up. Ah was about ta tell ya ta let go anyways, but Ah didn’t quite get th’ chance ta finish. Ah knew y’all would be alright, though.”
I rolled my eyes. Sure she did. Dumb hick farmer. “And that’s where I came in!” Rainbow boasted proudly, thrusting her chest forward.
“Yes, Rainbow. I was there. And I suppose I’m grateful for tha-” Fortunately, my begrudging thankfulness was cut off by a sudden loud interruption before us. Unfortunately, said interruption turned out to be a large, angry, dangerous, totally-not-friendly, could-easily-kill-a-pony-in-a-few-moments manticore.
My jaw dropped. I’d never seen a manticore before. I had, however, actually been forced to do some reading on the subject at one point. And I knew that they were very, very dangerous. “A…manticore…” I stuttered weakly, rather unable to comprehend the quickly-realizable fact that the forest was actively trying to kill us all.
It was time to enact my brilliant escape plan. “EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES!” I screamed as loudly as I could and immediately bolted into the surrounding woods. Maybe I could lose it in the trees. Behind me, the manticore roared loudly. My ‘friends’ screamed and the audible hoofsteps suggested they were scattering. I redoubled my efforts to escape. I heard Fluttershy weakly call ‘wait’ but I ignored her. What did she think she could do, reason with it? Hah. Fat chance.
I don’t know how long I ran through the woods, branches and leaves whipping at my face. I almost lost my hoofing a couple of times but managed to keep running. Unfortunately, my utter lack of physical competence eventually brought me to a stop, wheezing and panting as I tried to catch my breath.
I lifted my head and listened for a moment. Nothing. Nothing but my own gasping breaths. No roaring manticores. No screaming ponies. It would appear that I was safe for the moment. My brilliant plan was a brilliant success. “Phew…all right, I’m done. No more of this accursed forest. I’m going to go home and SLEEP,” I muttered to myself between pants. Looking around, I searched for the path out of here.
…Only there was none.
My eyes widened in fear as I realized I was currently lost in the Everfree forest filled with ravenous manticores, collapsing cliffs, and Celestia-knows-what-else.
Aw, ponyfeathers.
*****
Stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. It was all stupid. All of it. Stupid forest. Stupid ‘friends.’ Stupid Celestia. This was all her fault, anyways.
Stupid.
I had no idea how long I’d been wandering around in the wilderness. It could’ve been thirty minutes or two hours as far as I was concerned. I was tired, cold, hungry, and scared. And to top it all off, I think I was starting to get a bit delirious too. I kept imagining stupid faces on all the trees.
Stupid.
My ears perked up as they detected a sound. Instinctively, I started to move towards it. A small voice in my head told me that it might be a trap, but I had to chance it. It had been so long since anything had happened. All I wanted was to get home and sleep.
The sound grew closer. Was it…singing? I reached a small clearing and poked my head out from behind a tree. My jaw dropped at what I beheld.
“Giggle at the ghostly, guffaw at the grossly, crack up at the creepy, whoop it up with the weepy…”
…Pinkie Pie. Was singing. And dancing. And all the others were laughing hysterically. But still, SINGING. About all these dumb trees. Which I realized did, in fact, have creepy faces for some reason. There are a lot of things that I hate, but one of the things that’s really, REALLY high on that list is singing. Especially about something as dumb as trees.
No…no, not the trees! Not the trees! “AAAAAUUUGGH!” I screamed in abject terror for the third time since entering those blasted woods and promptly bolted in the exact opposite direction I came.
Or, at least I think I did. Either way, I was far too busy running and screaming to pay attention to where I was going, and before I realized what I’d done I was sailing in mid-air.
I had run off a cliff. And was beginning to fall. Towards a rapidly churning river.
“HEEEELLLP!” I screamed uselessly as gravity finally took hold. As I prepared myself for my imminent doom, I reflected on how it would be quite useful if I could actually use that self-levitation spell I was supposed to be working on. Maybe I should put some effort into learning it.
Hmmm…nah.
The river was drawing closer, and I could see that I was going to land right smack-dab in the middle of it. Just my luck. I took a deep breath in anticipation and closed my eyes, hoping for the best.
Ouch time.
*SPLASH!*
Ah! Cold! Why was it so cold? These thoughts were promptly pushed away as more important ones began to surface. Which way was up? Where was the air? OH PLEASE SOMEPONY HELP ME!
I began to panic. I was completely disoriented by the admittedly painful impact and the cold shock. At the rate things were going, I probably was going to get hypothermia. All I could do was flail helplessly as I was dragged along by the powerful currents.
Suddenly, I felt my back scrape against something grainy. The bottom! Hope! Quickly, I turned myself over and braced my hooves against the sandy riverbed. Pushing off, I swam desperately for what I hoped to be the surface.
I gasped loudly as my head breached the water, sucking down wonderful lungfuls of air as I thanked Celestia I was alive. I promptly gasped again and rescinded said thanks just before I slammed face-first into a large boulder sticking out of the water.
All I could see was stars. “Ow…my face…” I groaned after managing to pry my face off of the smooth, cold surface with a soft *pop*. Suddenly, the current shifted and I was dragged off of my painful, but admittedly stable, perch. “Nonononono-AAAUUGH! HEEEEELLP!”
Thus began my epic trip down the Everfree river. I have no idea if it’s called that, but if not it is now. The next five minutes or so were spent flailing helplessly, fighting for every breath of air, and screaming like a maniac whenever I got a chance. I swear, my voice was going to give out sooner or later. I grimaced as I saw a sharp bend coming up. I hoped against all hope there was nothing unexpected around that corner.
As it turned out, there was probably the most unexpected thing possible waiting for me. I had no time to react.
WHAM!
“Oh?” a voice called out. “What was that?” Somehow, my completely addled brain registered the fact that somepony asked a question, and naturally it formed the most infuriatingly sarcastic response possible. Unfortunately, the only thing both of us heard was a stifled mumble.
Another great line of history lost forever.
I finally returned to my senses and attempted to register what it was, exactly, that I had hit. It didn’t feel like a rock. It was jagged and course…almost like scales. I pulled my face back, blearily blinked open my eyes, and took in the mysterious object I was being pressed against by the…now nonexistent current? Wow, I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought…
And why was this surface purple?
“Oh dear!” the voice continued. “Are you alright?” I looked up towards the source of the voice and paled in fear. The source of the voice, about ten pony-lengths above me, was a purple sea serpent. Who happened to sport an impressively-styled mane and mustache.
“Uh…” I responded intelligently, unable to really comprehend what was going on. “Don’t eat me…” I wasn’t entirely sure what sea serpents ate, seeing as I’d never really read up on them, but it couldn’t hurt to be careful.
The sea serpent pretended to gag in disgust. “Oh my! Heavens, no! I could never even CONSIDER eating a pony!” he cried in distress, placing an arm across his forehead in mock distress. Oh, brother. His antics reminded me of Rarity.
“Where…where am I?” I inquired blearily, hitting the side of my head in a feeble attempt to dislodge the water in my ears.
“In the Everfree forest, of course! Where else?” Where else indeed. Thanks for the helpful response, smartass. …Actually, that sounded like something I would say. Maybe this sea serpent wasn’t so bad after all.
“Ugh…can I get to the shore please?” I asked wearily.
“Of course!” the voice responded jubilantly. “Which one?” He gestured to the two sides of the now-calm river. That fact took a moment to sink in.
“Hey, wait a minute,” I began, previous query completely forgotten. “What happened to the river? I was caught in raging rapids just a moment ago!”
The sea serpent flushed red and twiddled his fingers. “Oh, um…that…might have been me, I’m afraid. Terribly sorry about that. I was…excited.”
I glared up at him. “Wait, what? How could you have caused an entire river to run wild?” I asked incredulously.
“Like this,” he responded as he began to thrash his considerably long length about. Sure enough, the river began to stir, and soon enough it was raging just as hard as before. It took every ounce of willpower I had to not blow up at him. After all, I still wasn’t sure I trusted him on the ‘didn’t eat ponies’ bit.
“Well,” I huffed irritably. “Could you please be so kind as to NOT do that? I’m pretty sure it almost got me killed.”
The serpent looked about ready to cry. “Oh dear! How horrid! I am so SO sorry, today has been a rather emotional day. Now please, allow me to help you. Which shore should I place you on?”
I briefly considered that. I glanced left and then right. Both shores looked the same, honestly. Which way to go? “I’m afraid I don’t know the answer to that,” I replied. “I’m kind of lost. Do you…” the question died in my throat as I looked up at him again. How I failed to initially notice what was obviously a piece of Rarity’s tail grafted to the side of his face, I will never know.
“Your mustache!” I cried in surprise. “Where did you get it?”
The serpent’s face lit up in glee. “Oooh! You mean this? Well, here I was just minding my own business…”
I’m afraid I have no memory of the next few minutes.
I believe that what should have been a fairly short response was turned into a lengthy and undoubtedly highly-detailed account of crimes against fabulosity, a series of compliments by a certain impressively fashion-savvy mare, and the resulting solution to what was obviously a life-threatening catastrophe that said mare so generously resolved. An obnoxiously unnecessary narrative that could have been easily boiled down to ‘Rarity fixed my mustache.’
Quite unsurprisingly, given my actions towards Pinkie Pie thus far, the excessively long and utterly boring monologue probably caused my brain to temporarily shut off and ignore the entirety of what was said. Thus, I suppose it’s no surprise that when I finally returned to the realm of the living I was both inexplicably ticked off and utterly confused.
“Uhh…so ponies?” I asked hopefully. The sea serpent nodded in acknowledgement. So my ‘friends’ managed to survive the manticore. Or at least some of them. “Which way?” He pointed to his right. “That’s the way I’ll go then, please.”
“But of course!” he declared dramatically before scooping me up, admittedly quite gently, and setting me on the right-hand-side bank. “Always happy to help!”
“Thanks,” I muttered as a shiver went down my back. I’m pretty sure that soaking in the cold water like a zombie was not particularly good for my health. Stupid monologues. I made a mental note to tell Spike if he ever caught me monologuing to slap me across the face. I sneezed.
“Oh dear! You must be freezing! Here, this should help,” the sea serpent spoke again, holding out a purple towel. I paused at that. Where did he get the towel? I looked up into his face questioningly, but he just kept smiling. I wordlessly took the towel and began to dry off.
A few moments later, I felt much better. “Thanks,” I said as I handed the towel back. This time, I was actually quite sincere. “I think I might actually not have hypothermia because of that. I appreciate it.”
The sea serpent beamed. “Oh, it was no trouble at all!” He moved the damp towel behind his back and then withdrew his hand. The towel was gone.
…Odd.
“Happy to help!” the serpent continued, still beaming and completely oblivious to the fact that he apparently just shattered the laws of…well, just common sense. I wouldn’t actually know about the laws of physics because I haven’t done the reading yet.
Oh well. I had far more important things to worry about. “All right, well, thanks for all your help!” I sincerely thanked him again. “But now I’m afraid I must be on my way. Bye!” I turned and started walking down the path.
“Take care now, little pony!” he called back.
I felt that warm feeling again. He sure was nice for a sea serpent. He was kind and helpful…even if he DID monologue a bit. Another friend made! I couldn’t wait to tell Princess Celestia all about my sea serpent friend named…
…Horseapples.
I never asked his name! How can he be my friend if I don’t know his name? “Wait!” I called desperately, wheeling around and dashing back to the river.
…Nothing. The water was calm and still and there was no sign of the purple sea serpent. I huffed in disgust. Boy, I sure was bad at the whole ‘friend-making’ thing. Couldn’t even ask ponies their names. I started walking down the path again with an air of disappointment. Back to the drawing board, I guessed. Or rather, my posse of ‘friends.’ Assuming they weren’t all dead.
Hmmm…no, this was unacceptable. What were the chances Celestia personally knew the sea serpent? Given her recent string of abject failures I would say ‘low.’ It’s settled, then. His name was now Stephen Magnet. Best. Name. Ever.
Now with a considerable spring in my step, I much more happily headed down the path, eager to get home and sleep.
Only later would I learn that Stephen misinterpreted my question as ‘which way did they go’ rather than ‘which way did they come from’…
*****
Well, this was new.
I stared down into the misty depths of the crevasse, attempting to see if there was anything down there. I could barely make out the form of an old rope bridge hanging forlornly from the opposite side. Somepony had cut this side loose. How strange. And unfortunate.
What was perhaps even more strange was how I missed this giant chasm on my way into the forest. I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed something like that. But then again, I was busy running around through the woods without any sense of direction. It was entirely possible that I had bypassed this obstacle completely.
That being said, and also lacking the ability to reach across the chasm with my magic to fix the bridge, I opted to begin walking around. It must seal off eventually if I managed to get around it earlier. I should really work on my magic range sometime. Or…I could sleep some more. Yeah, that sounds good.
After about thirty minutes of walking through the mist next to the giant chasm, there was still no crossing in sight. I frowned in frustration. How did I get across? Did I really take such a roundabout route? I DID fall in that river earlier. Perhaps that carried me far off course. Okay, so walking around seemed to be a bust. Was there any other way to get across?
I studied the opposite side longingly. Was it just me, or did it appear to be closer? Perhaps by a few pony-lengths, yes. Interesting. Was there a log nearby? Or a hanging vine?
Or I could always…teleport.
I frowned in thought. I was BAD at teleportation. I’d only managed to pull it off a couple of times, and never over such a large distance. But then again…I really, REALLY wanted to get home and sleep. I needed to get out of this forest as soon as possible or I’d wind up dead for sure.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I closed my eyes and began to gather my will. I reached deep inside of me and pulled at the magic within. It took a couple of tries, but eventually I managed to get a hold of it. I pictured the opposite side in my mind, focusing on it intently. I want…to be there…
I cast the spell.
Even with my eyes closed I could see the bright purple flash. When it subsided, I found my hooves were still on solid ground. So far so good. I tentatively opened my eyes to examine my surroundings. Still misty. Still next to the gorge.
…Did it work? How was I supposed to know? I suddenly remembered a rotten stump I had focused on. Turning to my left, I did indeed see a rotting stump.
Yes! I did it! Take that Celestia!
I mentally crossed ‘study for test next Tuesday’ off of my mental list of things to do. If I could do it once, I could do it whenever, right? Totally. No need to worry about it.
Happily, I skipped off into the misty gloom.
*****
Okay, I DEFNITELY was lost. I don’t ever remember walking past what appeared to be a pile of ruins. I honestly don’t know how else to describe what I saw. There were stones and overgrowth everywhere. I could see the remains of a stone floor spreading out before me, green with moss and other plant life. There were a few rough walls here and there, and traces of rooms, but nothing much else.
Was this…an old castle? Or fort? It had to be. But who would ever be insane enough to build something in the middle of the Everfree? I mean, in a few hours alone I’d almost died like five times.
My mind flicked back to the book in the library. I briefly considered this might be the ancient castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, but immediately discarded that idea. One, what I was looking at looked nothing like the picture in the book, and two, I was heading back to Ponyville, not deeper into the forest. The castle was on the other side of the river, the way Stephen had told me the others had gone.
So…what was this then? I puzzled over it for a moment, wracking my brains for anything I might have ‘read,’ but came up blank. Oh, well. Might as well keep going. But then, I had a thought.
Ruins in the Everfree forest. What if there was treasure about? My mind quickly conjured up several images of gold and jewels. What if it made me wealthy? I could have whatever I wanted! Fancy food! Personal servants! Fame, power, and stallions! Grinning happily, I resolved to take a look around, at least for a little while.
*****
What a total bust.
The castle was completely barren as far as I could tell. Almost nothing was left! There were a few walls and pillars here and there suggesting there was once rooms and hallways, but it was all pretty much gone by now. Hmph. How lame. What a waste of time. Now I was even more tired than before…
…What was that?
I saw a flash in the fog. At least, I’m pretty sure I did. It seemed to be high up in the air. I wondered what it could have been. I had two options, then. I could either turn tail and flee, or examine the source of the mysterious flash. After all, what if it was a stray beam of light reflecting off a giant gem? It was a possibility, right?
After a moment’s hesitation, I decided the possibility of a lifetime of luxury was worth sacrificing another few minutes of sleep. The thought briefly crossed my mind that it might be dangerous, but I quickly shrugged those worries off. I could teleport now! I could handle anything.
I walked through the fog towards the mysterious light for a few more minutes. Not once did I see the flash of light again. Soon enough, however, I did see a shape begin to loom in the gloomy mists. It was big. And tall.
I gasped as I realized it was a building of stone. Apparently part of the castle survived! My heartbeat quickened in excitement. I spied a tower up above that was probably high enough to account for the flash I saw earlier. Maybe there was treasure in there! Spying a nearby wooden door in the wall below, I headed towards it.
The door was rotten and old, but opened without complaint. Behind it was a set of stairs, curling upwards into the darkness. Screwing up my eyes in concentration, I focused and was able to get my horn to emit a faint purple light.
Good enough.
I started climbing the stairs eagerly. By the time I reached the top, I was a bit less than eager, but was still excited to see another wooden door at the top. What lay beyond? Coins? Jewels? Who knew? Reaching forward, I carefully eased the door open. It creaked slightly, but soon fell still and silent.
I peered around the room. It was quite large, and I could see an archway obviously containing some more stairs on the other side of the room. There were some pillars and big windows, but otherwise it was pretty barren.
Suddenly, a slight twinkling caught my eye. Eagerly, I bounded out from behind the door and went to examine the source. My eyes lit up with glee as I beheld what lay scattered on some sort of podium.
Crystalline fragments! Jewels! Treasure!
I rubbed my forehooves together in glee. Excellent! It was all worth it! I levitated one of the crystal fragments in front of my face to get a better look at it. What kind was it? How much was it worth? …Why was it some super dull color? It was off-white, but not in the way diamonds are.
Before I could consider the strange crystal fragment any further, something even stranger happened. The crystal began to buzz with energy. I could feel it through my magical grip. Surprised, I released my hold on the crystal and let it fall to the ground. My jaw dropped as I saw that all the crystals were sparking with energy. Suddenly, a large bolt of energy lanced out and struck me in the chest, sending me flying and tumbling across the floor.
Oh, my head…why was this forest continually trying to kill me? I allowed myself to just lie on the floor in an attempt to get my bearings back. It was then that the unthinkable happened.
“Ahem.”
My eyes flew open in shock. I looked up to see who had spoken. My eyes met a pair of turquoise draconic ones. Eyes that were narrowed in anger. Eyes that could only belong to one pony.
…I think my heart stopped. “Um…hi?” I said meekly. She said nothing. I smiled disarmingly. I could’ve sworn I heard a funny squeaking noise or something, but was far too distracted to pay it any mind.
“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Nightmare Moon asked menacingly, staring down at me with a disapproving frown.
“Uh…exploring for treasure?” I ventured. One of Nightmare Moon’s eyebrows raised.
“…Treasure,” she repeated.
“That’s right!”
Then she smiled. But it was not one of friendliness. It was one of malicious amusement. “And have you found any?” she asked in a dangerously cheerful tone.
“Nope! Nothing at all! Not even a single coin!” I responded, perhaps a bit too quickly. Unfortunately, she noticed my nervousness. Wordlessly, she glanced towards the podium where the crystals were. Her eyes widened when she saw that I had been meddling with them. Her gaze returned to me, but now it radiated nothing but cruel malice.
“You foal!” she cried loudly. “Attempting to meddle with my plans, are we?”
I felt cold sweat form on my forehead. I had just managed to piss off the most powerful evil known to ponykind. Just by being lost. Smooth move, Twilight. “Plans? What plans?” I attempted to backpedal. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! No meddling of any sort here! Nope, not at all! Hehe…”
Nightmare Moon was not convinced. “Silence! For attempting to undermine me, you shall be eliminated!”
E…eliminated?
“No!” I shrieked in horror. “Please don’t! I wasn’t doing anything, honest! I just wanted to go back to Ponyville and sleep!”
“Well then,” Nightmare Moon smirked evilly. “Allow me to give you a rest that will last eternally!” Her eyes glowed white with power. A dark cloud of energy began to form beside her.
“Nnnoooo!” I screamed in terror. I screwed my eyes closed and threw up my forehooves to shield my face. I braced myself for the end. It was a good run, Twilight…it was a good run. Nightmare Moon laughed maniacally. There was a sound of crackling lightning, followed almost instantly by a strange shattering noise. And then there was silence.
But…I wasn’t dead. I wasn’t dead! Nervously, I peeked an eye open. Floating between myself and Nightmare Moon was a single crystal piece, smoking slightly but otherwise unharmed by the bolt of lightning. I raised my eyebrows in surprise.
“…What?” we both asked together. Suddenly, I heard a commotion coming from the stairwell.
“Twilight!” Applejack hollered as she entered the room. My eyebrows took off and blasted into orbit.
“A-Applejack? What…? How…?”
“Yer okay!” she continued happily, beaming at me. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie all appeared behind her as well, smiling gleefully at me.
“I…I am!” I said, still in a bit of a shock. That’s probably why I forgot about Nightmare Moon standing a few paces away. “And you’re alive! All of you!”
“We sure as sugar are,” Applejack announced proudly. The other four cheered, clearly happy to see I was okay. It was then that I realized something: they were worried about me. Yes, I had considered their fates myself, but they had actually been WORRIED about me. And now that they knew I was okay, they were happy!
But me? I was just surprised. That’s all. How…how lame. I felt my heart melt slightly. These ponies…actually cared for me. I…I supposed that if that was the case…I could give them a chance.
But not too many.
“Where did you come from?” a bewildered Nightmare Moon asked. “I thought I vaporized you!”
Pinkie Pie promptly blew a raspberry. “That’s what you think! But I’m SUPER good at ‘hide-and-go-seek’! Sorry, but it looks like we win! Better luck next time!” Did…did Pinkie seriously just do that? I chuckled slightly to myself. It was funny!
That crazy yet lovable pink psychopath…
Nightmare Moon’s face contorted in rage. She looked about to explode. Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. It flapped uselessly for a few moments. Pinkie burst out into laughter, while the rest of us tried to hide our snickers.
Suddenly, something clicked for me. “Wait…” I began. “If you’re all here…then that means this is the castle of the Royal Pony Sisters!”
“That’s true,” Applejack responded.
“And…that means the Elements of Harmony are here!”
“Right again!” Rarity declared.
“And…and…they’re those crystals over there!” Am I good or what?
“Yep! It’s all true!” Rainbow Dash said, smirking. Her eyes flicked to Nightmare Moon and narrowed in anger. “But they would still be intact were it not for her!” Nightmare Moon looked pleased with herself.
And then…then I understood. My mind flashed back to the book in the library. The Elements of Harmony…were standing in this very room! “You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that?” I spoke up bravely, surprising even myself. “Well you’re wrong! Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!”
Everypony in the room gasped, but I continued. Maybe if I figured enough stuff out, Celestia would go easier on me!
“Applejack, you tried to reassure me that it was safe to let go of the cliff. You represent the spirit of Honesty!” Sure enough, a pile of crystals began to glow orange, floated over to the farmer mare, and began to rotate around here. Everypony in the room looked quite bamboozled by this.
But I was on a roll.
“Fluttershy, you obviously succeeded in talking down the manticore, seeing as you all survived with barely a scratch on you! You represent the spirit of Kindness!” More stones started to float around Fluttershy. She shied away from them, but they remained in a circle around her.
“Pinkie Pie, you were laughing and singing about trees! Even if that was kinda creepy, you still got everypony else to laugh! You represent the spirit of Laughter!” More stones. Pinkie grinned gleefully.
“Rarity, you fixed Stephen Magnet’s mustache, which explains why your tail is so short! You represent the spirit of Generosity!”
“Wait, who?” Rarity asked in confusion as the stones began to spin.
“It’s not important,” I said quickly, waving a hoof. “And finally…Rainbow Dash…you, uh…”
Ponyfeathers.
“Clearly did something,” I finished lamely. Rainbow’s face fell, disappointed.
“She gave up an opportunity for personal glory in order to continue helping us,” Fluttershy said quietly.
My eyes widened. “She did? Well I’ll be.” Oooh, that glare was seething. “Yes! You did that! You represent the spirit of Loyalty!”
Rainbow Dash grinned fiercely as she got her own set of stones. Nightmare Moon was by now looking quite afraid. “But you still don’t have the sixth element!” she protested.
“Yes we do,” I countered. “The sixth Element is represented by me! I know it because these five ponies, the five Elements of Harmony, are my friends!” The other ponies beamed at me as I said that. Suddenly, there was a flash above my head, and an orb of brilliant white light began to descend towards me.
“I represent the sixth Element! The Element of…Laziness!” My friends took on incredulous looks. The light seemed to fade a moment before deciding to just go with it and continue. The light transformed into a tiara featuring my Cutie Mark as the centerpiece before it slammed onto my head, slightly painfully, almost as if it was saying ‘oh, come on!’
Suddenly, I felt a rush of power. It surged up within me and spread out to the others. I watched as the spinning stones suddenly turned into necklaces and fixed themselves around my friends’ necks. We were all lifted into the air as a rainbow-colored energy began to build around us.
Hah. Ga-wait, hold on a second. I’m a part of this. I changed my mind. Totally awesome.
Purple is the master color.
The power surged again. I was dimly aware of Nightmare Moon screaming in agony. That’s right, burn! No one threatens to kill Twilight Sparkle!
And then the world turned white.
*****
…Ow.
Why did it hurt to think? I didn’t remember drinking last night…
“Ohhh, my head…” I heard the voice of Rainbow Dash say.
“Everypony okay?” Applejack asked. I blinked my eyes open as the memories of what just happened rushed back to me. I sat up and looked around at my friends, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw they were all okay.
But only a small one.
“Oh, thank goodness!” I suddenly heard Rarity call out.
“Why, Rarity! It’s so lovely,” Fluttershy commented.
“I know! I’ll never part with it again!” she cried out joyously. Ah, so her tail grew back. Well that was nice. Everypony knew that short tails were definitely NOT in season at the moment. I briefly wondered if Stephen Magnet still had his ‘mustache.’
“No, your necklace,” Fluttershy continued. “It looks just like your Cutie Mark!”
“Huh?” Rarity looked down at herself, and then at her flank. She smiled and looked back to Fluttershy. “So does yours!”
Fluttershy gasped. “Look at mine! Look at mine!” Pinkie Pie interrupted, bounding into the group excitedly.
“Awww yeah!” Rainbow Dash crowed upon noticing hers. I had to admit, the lightning bolt necklace WAS pretty cool. Looking up, I saw my own tiara was still on my head.
Even if it was a little tight.
“Gee, Twilight,” Applejack spoke up. “Ah thought ya were just spoutin’ a lot of hooey. But Ah reckon we really do represent th’ Elements of Friendship!”
“Indeed you do,” rang out a disembodied voice. My eyes widened. I knew that voice. It was a voice of doom, a voice of terror, a voice that haunted my nightmares each and every night…
The voice of Princess Celestia.
Suddenly, the sun rose from beyond the distant horizon. There was a dazzling flash of bright light, and then there, before us, stood the Solar Princess herself. My friends all bowed. I, of course, skipped such formalities and went directly to speaking my mind. “And where the hay have you been?” My friends gasped at my outburst. I made a mental note to tell them later that the Princess and I shared a…unique relationship.
Celestia was completely unfazed, like usual. “Ah, Twilight Sparkle! My faithful student.” Oooh. Almost rolled my eyes right then. Almost. “I knew you could do it,” she continued.
“Do what?” I asked incredulously. “Beat Nightmare Moon for you? Speaking of which, how did that even happen? I informed you of the myth, but you told me it was just an old pony’s tale!”
“I TOLD you to make some friends,” she said with a smile. “Nothing more.” Well, actually, the letter she sent said quite a bit more so THAT was an obvious load of dung, but I decided to let it slide. “I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon’s return, and I knew that it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her. But you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart.”
My heart skipped a beat at that. True…friendship? Well it was settled then! I had successfully made some friends! Mission accomplished! One less thing to deal with. Dang, I’m good. “Now if only another will as well…” she continued, turning to the corner of the room.
I followed her gaze and was surprised to see a pony lying on the floor. There was a bunch of smoking pieces of metal scattered around her. Aww, Nightmare Moon lived? I thought we vaporized her. Lame. “Princess Luna…”
The pony gasped and sat up fearfully. Yep, definitely alive. I wondered if I could get the Elements to work again…
“It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister.”
“Sister?” we all echoed together. Well. That would explain why Celestia couldn’t take care of things herself. Probably couldn’t bring herself to do it. Note to self: acquire personal student. They seem quite useful.
“Will you accept my friendship?”
There was a long pause, but then Luna burst out into tears. “I’m so sorry! I’ve missed you so much, big sister!”
“I’ve missed you too,” Celestia said with tears in her eyes. I couldn’t help it anymore. This whole situation was just ridiculous. Celestia knew all along that Nightmare Moon was coming, but did nothing. She sent me to deal with it. Except I had no idea what I was doing. In fact, I pretty much ending up defeating Nightmare Moon entirely by accident.
Wow. Imagine if I was actually trying. That would be like…overpowered, or something. Clearly I had to keep myself in check for the sake of everypony around me.
It was at that moment that Pinkie Pie blew her nose quite loudly and burst out crying. It’s a good thing she did so, because it hid my guffaw of laughter most perfectly. This whole situation was most amusing; I had to let SOMETHING out. I hurriedly adopted a neutral expression. “Hey! You know what this calls for?” Pinkie suddenly began.
…Uh oh. Here we go…
“AAAA PAAARTYY!!”
*****
Okay, I’ll admit it. Just this once.
Pinkie can throw a pretty good party.
I don’t really know how she did it, but somehow when we got back to Ponyville there was food, decorations, games, and the entire town waiting for us. It was a pretty awesome time. The games were fun, the food was delicious, and everypony was happy. Hours later, I took a seat at an empty table to reflect on recent events.
Why did I feel so down? Things were going awesomely! I’d checked several things off of my to-do list as far as ‘studying’ was concerned. Nightmare Moon was defeated and my consumption of delicious food could go unhindered. I quietly belched as I thought of how much I’d eaten recently. Pinkie was almost as good a cook as Applejack. I had successfully made some friends. Everything was going great!
Except…I’d have to go back to Canterlot soon…
“Why so glum, my faithful student?” I heard Celestia’s voice emanate from beside me. She took a seat beside me at the table. For once, I didn’t feel the slightest urge to roll my eyes. “Are you not happy that your quest is complete? And you can go take a nap in your cozy Canterlot bed…?” she finished knowingly.
I pondered her words. What was the problem? Somehow…sleep didn’t quite seem so appealing just then. Even though I knew I should be exhausted.
Wait, wait, wait…I didn’t want to sleep? Call the doctors! Call the Guard! Call the Princ-oh. But still, I must be sick or something! “That’s just it. Just when I learned how pretty awesome it can be to have friends, I have to leave them.” I glanced sadly to the side, where I saw my five friends standing there, along with Spike. The little dragon had really hit it off with them during the party. Especially Rarity. They all regarded me sadly, also afraid of what was to come.
And then a wave of fatigue so strong I almost passed out on the spot hit me. Whoa…how long had I gone without sleep? A record, that’s for sure.
Naptime. Now.
“Oh well,” I began, slurring my words slightly. “It’s not that far. I can always fly back whenever. And write letters. Come on, let’s go. I’m sleepy.”
Celestia smiled. “Spike! Take a note, please.” My trusty assistant instantly had a scroll and quill in claw.
“Hey,” I began. “That’s my line! And we’re supposed to write the letters once we get back! You know, to Canterlot?”
“I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree…” Oh no. This was not going to end well.
“Princess? Hey, Princess? I’m actually fine! We can go now!” I desperately tried to backpedal.
“…shall take on a new mission for Equestria…”
OH NO SHE DID NOT. “Hey! Wait, hold on! That’s not fair! Can’t we talk about this?”
Of course, I was ignored. “She must continue to study the magic of friendship…”
“What does that even mean?”
“She must report to me her findings…”
“Really? Oh, come on now! I have enough to do!”
“…from her new home in Ponyville!”
“WHAT? You expect me to keep living in that rotting old place? It’s drafty! It’s moldy! It smells to high heaven! This is ridiculous! An outrage! I absolutely refuse!”
It was then that Celestia gave me a little something I like to call ‘the look.’ It was this silly little smirk that only I ever saw. And it had a very clear meaning: ‘ha ha, I’m the Princess and can do whatever I want so suck it up and deal with it.’
Apparently nopony else heard me though, because both my friends and the townspeople started cheering. Seriously? It was as though everypony could only listen to Celestia whenever she was speaking! My friends crowded around me excitedly, all talking at once so that I couldn’t really focus on what any one of them was saying.
“Ugh. Fine…I’ll stay here in Ponyville. And work on my…studies. Harder than ever.” Hah. More like I’ll procrastinate harder than ever.
Celestia smiled knowingly. “Glad to hear it. Reports are due every week. I look forward to hearing from you!” I pouted. “Oh, and your history report is now due next week, by the way. And I changed my mind. Your experiences with the Summer Sun Celebration can count towards your first friendship report. You’ll still have to research something else. Good luck!”
My eye twitched.
I passed out on the spot.